Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:09,510
Am I the only one who remembered
daylight savings time?
2
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:27,094
CONVICT:Been here 17 years.
3
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,730
Been on the HBO, the Netflix
4
00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:31,665
and one House Hunters
International.
5
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:35,502
But now I got two new hotshotlawyers working my case.
6
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:39,306
No sign of a struggle,
no DNA evidence in the cabin
7
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:42,442
and no attractive young woman
declared missing.
8
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:46,647
I think there's a very real
chance no one was murdered.
9
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,715
♪ ♪
10
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:53,353
I was on the jury
that convicted him.
11
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:55,188
Had we known
there was no victim,
12
00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:56,723
we might not have voted guilty.
13
00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,926
I repeat, might not.
14
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,461
Fantastic news.
15
00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,130
We got picked upfor a second season.
16
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:04,398
And my appeal?
17
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,600
Mostly to women 25 to 54.
18
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,635
Oh. You mean "appeal" appeal.
19
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,504
Oh, well, that's not happenin.
20
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,707
(babbling)
21
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,744
(all babbling)
22
00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:27,821
What is it, sweetie?
Are you gassy?
23
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:30,123
Uh, when is she not gassy?
24
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:31,992
Baby burn.
25
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,194
(moans)
If only you could talk.
26
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:37,998
It's the people who can't speak
that have so much to share.
27
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:40,067
(babbling)
28
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:44,404
Or maybe not.
29
00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:46,707
(gasps) Wait a minute.
I think there's a show
30
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,943
about teaching a baby
sign language.
31
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:59,920
(gasps)
I could finally talk to my baby.
32
00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:04,224
Maggie, we have a fun week
of repetitive drills ahead.
33
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,760
I wonder what the kid
was so upset about.
34
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,664
Don't worry, little baby.
35
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:13,767
I'll be okay till morning.
36
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:18,538
Now I'm screwed.
37
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:23,543
Congratulations, babies, we'velearned some great signs today.
38
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:28,749
I hope you don't want "more,"because we're "all done,"
39
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:32,753
because our government funding"ran out."
40
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,721
Okay, Maggie.
41
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:39,459
Do you want "more"
or are you "all done"?
42
00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:42,896
"More" or "all done"?
43
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:45,766
"More"
or "all done"?
44
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,702
"More" or "all done"?
45
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,071
"More"
or "all done"?
46
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:53,740
"More" or "all done"?
47
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,642
"More"
or "all done"?
48
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,778
"More" or "all done"?
49
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:58,812
"More"
or "all done"?
50
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:01,314
Oh, great,
now I'm out of Cheerios.
51
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:03,116
(belches)
52
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,585
Oh, I thought
they were doughnuts
53
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,721
that were really far away.
54
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,523
"More"?
55
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,758
"More"? Aw, that's 22.
56
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,427
You busted.
57
00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:15,729
Always say "all done"
on a hard 17.
58
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:18,699
Can you say that? "Hard 17"?
59
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,200
Don't teach her gambling.
60
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,369
Let's go, dealer. One more hand.
61
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,571
Aw, sir, I don't want
to take your money.
62
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,039
(groans)
63
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:29,576
Remember to make surethat the warriors you kill
64
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,111
are actually dead.
65
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,380
I recommend stabbing,dissolving in acid,
66
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,082
dynamite in the butt...
67
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,851
GAMER'S MOTHER:Jason. You're late for dinner!
68
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,587
Ma, I'm talkingto 30 million people!
69
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:44,257
Boil them, let pigs eat them,Kentucky‐fry them...
70
00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:47,661
Don't play that in front of
Maggie. She'll have nightmares.
71
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,429
Eh, suit yourself.
72
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,198
This is more like it.
73
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:54,634
"Hansel shoved the blood‐covered
witch into the oven.
74
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:58,004
'I'm burning alive,'
screamed the witch."
75
00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:01,041
More? More?
76
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,043
(gasps)
You want more book?
77
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:06,813
My baby's communicating with me.
78
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:10,183
Let me test it out.
Do you like peas?
79
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,252
Do you like applesauce?
80
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:16,256
Do you like Star Wars movies?
81
00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:18,825
What about Baby Yoda?
82
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,362
Hmm.
83
00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:28,034
This is so exciting.
Look, look what Maggie can do.
84
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,472
Maggie, do you want "more"?
85
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:33,707
That's my girl.
86
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,009
Look, everyone. She's doing it.
87
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,978
Yeah, that's great.
88
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,813
Dad, check this out.
89
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,648
He only sings
when we're not looking.
90
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,683
Classic aggravation humor.
91
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:46,019
‐(Marge groans)
‐A dancing frog.
92
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,754
Bet that would cook up nice.
93
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:50,223
You're missing a crucial moment
in Maggie's development
94
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,725
because of these.
95
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,727
From now on,
we're gonna limit the time
96
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,897
we spend looking
at our stupid phones.
97
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,699
(laughter)
98
00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:01,501
Yeah, that's great.
99
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:04,704
And then we'll have
a conversation.
100
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,706
(laughs)
101
00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:09,810
Steve Jobs wouldn't let
his children use his iPads,
102
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:13,013
and he was a great parent,
I assume.
103
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:16,550
From now on, everyone gets a
half hour of screen time a week.
104
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:18,585
‐And that's it.
‐Really, Marge?
105
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,988
You think you can give up
your Pinterest?
106
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,990
My cake fails are important.
107
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:28,061
If people fail at cake,
they need to be told.
108
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,565
Okay. Half an hour a week
109
00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:33,767
for everyone, including me.
110
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,070
I believe there's something
you're forgetting.
111
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,572
(sighs)
112
00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:42,342
And? And?
113
00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:45,345
(grunts)
No more screens. You, too.
114
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,085
Here at Messages, we treatyour addiction humanely,
115
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:55,622
with hiking and biking andhuman equivalents of things
116
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,425
that work with rats.
117
00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:02,362
And all we ask foris your brain when you die.
118
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:04,831
Well, let's pray this place
won't be necessary.
119
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:08,668
‐(cow bell rings)
‐All right, let's round 'em up.
120
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:10,670
Okay. It's been one week.
121
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:13,106
Let me check your screen times.
122
00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:18,445
Wow. They're really low.
123
00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:20,947
I'm so proud of you.
124
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:24,451
I forgot how great it was
to crack the spine of a book.
125
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,620
(laughs softly)
126
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:28,154
I'm calmer, I'm happier,
127
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,724
I'm seeing things
I never saw before.
128
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:33,927
Did you know our second dog
is a cat?
129
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,729
(doorbell rings)
130
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,266
Hmm?
131
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:40,967
Sorry, last time I was here,
132
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:43,670
I left my screen time
reversal wrench.
133
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,472
I could just get that back.
134
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:49,276
You guys have been having this
man dial back your screen time?
135
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:52,412
Oops. Looks like
I just lost a contract.
136
00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:53,980
Well, anybody want to buy a van?
137
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:57,450
It only has two miles on it.
138
00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:58,685
(chuckles)
139
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,120
‐(grumbles)
‐What the...?
140
00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:02,622
Okay, close your eyes.
141
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:06,660
I'm putting these someplace
you'll never find them.
142
00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:08,895
(footsteps descending staircase)
143
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,431
(car departing)
144
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:14,100
(drawbridge lowering)
145
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,569
(plane taking off)
146
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,805
(jackhammer grinding)
147
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,607
(bird squawks)
148
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:25,278
No cell phone. Stuck at work
all day with nothing to do.
149
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:26,880
Lookin' at my feet.
150
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,815
Hey, big guy.
What, are you bored?
151
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,850
Why don't you do
the Daily Jumble in the paper?
152
00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:33,219
Unscramble the words
to solve a funny riddle.
153
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,654
Oh, that's what it is.
154
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:37,157
I thought the proofreader
had a stroke.
155
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:38,158
Let's see.
156
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:39,326
Hmm.
157
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,728
"D‐D‐A."
158
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,864
Hmm. "D‐D‐A."
159
00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,466
Hmm.
160
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,868
"D‐D‐A." Hmm.
161
00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,203
(gasps)
"Dad."
162
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,405
"Dad." I got something!
163
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,709
For the first time ever,
I solved a puzzle.
164
00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:57,744
♪ ♪
165
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:19,666
(gasps)
"Dad ate all the pie."
166
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:22,402
Call the newspaper.
Tell them someone has solved it.
167
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:23,903
And get me some pie.
168
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:26,706
I love not using a phone.
169
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:29,376
It's made me much more
in tune with the world.
170
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:32,412
(louder): It's like my senses
are heightened.
171
00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:37,183
(thudding echoing loudly)
172
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,752
(whooshes)
173
00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:40,520
Okay, Maggie, time to go.
174
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:42,422
Say goodbye to your aunts.
175
00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:47,394
So cute.
(laughs softly)
176
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:48,895
What's she saying?
177
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,964
(coughing)
178
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:56,503
She always sleeps so good
when she's here.
179
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,241
(camera clicks)
180
00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:03,109
Huh?
181
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,680
(imitates rocket noises)
182
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:09,849
Careful. If we enter
the Martian atmosphere
183
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:11,951
at too steep an angle,
we'll burn up.
184
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:14,354
(gasps, screams)
185
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:17,257
Tell my family I love them.
186
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:18,625
(deep voice):
They know that, Steve.
187
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:19,626
They know.
188
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:21,361
(imitates static)
189
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:24,731
(snickers) Bart has to use
his imagination.
190
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:27,634
This is Jupiter One.
Do you copy?
191
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:29,202
I copy.
192
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,570
What are you doing?
193
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,372
I'm talking to Jupiter One.
194
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:35,608
Oh, I'll show you Jupiter One.
195
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:37,610
Jupiter One to mission contro.
196
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:40,513
Firing photon torpedoes.
197
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,715
(laughter)
198
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:48,421
Um, I'm doing a very important
two‐page paper.
199
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:52,425
Do you have any way to find a
book without using a computer?
200
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:55,161
Well, the old card catalogue
is in the basement.
201
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:57,430
Bang on this pot to scare
the possums away.
202
00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:58,731
Okay.
203
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,734
‐(hissing)
‐Uh...
204
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:05,805
Hmm. Mm‐hmm.
205
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:08,842
(inhales sharply)
Mmm, old card stock.
206
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:10,844
So tactile.
207
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:18,685
(gasps) Look, this one
has an old handwritten note.
208
00:10:18,751 --> 00:10:21,521
"Dear Reader..."
Ooh, that's me. (chuckles)
209
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:24,858
"See also: Lost Wax Technique."
210
00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:27,494
I will see also.
211
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,496
(squeals)
212
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,698
"N‐J‐X‐I."
213
00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:33,500
Jinx.
214
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:37,036
"P‐I‐U‐Q." Quip.
215
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:39,038
I'm solving words
I don't even know.
216
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,441
♪ Jumble boogie,doo‐doo‐doo, doo‐doo‐doo ♪
217
00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:43,710
♪ Get down, get down ♪
218
00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:46,045
♪ With the goobie,doo‐doo‐doo, doo‐doo‐doo ♪
219
00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:48,448
♪ Unjumbled that is boogie ♪
220
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,450
♪ Doo‐doo‐doo, doo‐doo‐doo,solve a jumble ♪
221
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,919
♪ In your face, world,I'm so humble ♪
222
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,388
♪ Now, watch me twirl. ♪
223
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,590
(screams)
224
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,092
Okay, okay.
225
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,927
I need the recipe
for puttanesca sauce.
226
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,695
Can't go online.
227
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:03,763
No problem.
228
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,732
I've got cookbooks.
229
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:08,101
Padma Lakshmi's Hot and Zesty.
230
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:11,171
Tiffany Haddish'sFun with Radishes.
231
00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,606
I made 14 of those‐‐
they weren't that fun.
232
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,742
(gasps) I know who to call.
233
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:16,776
(beeping)
234
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,211
Hello?
235
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:20,914
What's the recipe
for puttanesca sauce?
236
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:22,282
Oh, you want‐a the recipe?
237
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:23,917
Sure, sure, get a pencil.
238
00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:25,785
Step‐a one‐‐ you come here.
239
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,720
Step‐a two‐‐
you pay for it.
240
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:30,223
Step‐a three‐‐
I put it on‐a some pasta.
241
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,592
And that's‐a the recipe!
242
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:33,826
(moans)
243
00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:36,963
(tires screeching)
244
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,098
♪ ♪
245
00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:40,833
(inhales deeply)
246
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,735
Oh, what a great day.
247
00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:44,637
Oh, you said it.
248
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,907
I spent five minutes today
just looking at the sun.
249
00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:51,377
(grunts, groans)
250
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,813
Hey, where's Mom?
251
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,616
And why do I hear clicking
from this closet?
252
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,087
Hold on a beat.
253
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:02,422
Just... hold on.
254
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:05,592
Who was the one who said
no screen time?
255
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:06,726
Who?
256
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:09,162
It was you.
257
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,064
(sighs) I know.
258
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,632
I have a problem.
259
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,234
So, I'm signing us
all up for a month
260
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,836
at that screen addiction
rehab center.
261
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,772
But we're not addicted, you are!
262
00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:21,674
That's exactly
what an addict would say.
263
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,843
Or a normal person.
264
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,878
That's also what
an addict would say.
265
00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:28,615
Well, what
wouldn't an addict say?!
266
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,617
Not that, that's for sure.
267
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,619
We'll all go there
starting tomorrow.
268
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,053
And I'll watch the pets.
269
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,989
I brought a bunch
of them inside.
270
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:37,457
(howling)
271
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:38,891
I'm the beta.
272
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,665
BART AND LISA:
Are we there yet?
273
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,667
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
274
00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:48,835
Are we there yet? Are we
there yet?
275
00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:51,070
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
276
00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:53,873
‐Are we there yet?
‐Knock off that racket!
277
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:57,910
I said knock it off!
278
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,048
Mom's got the problem.
279
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,716
How come we're stuck in...
280
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,351
paradise?
281
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:08,354
Oh, Zen gardens, infinity pool?
282
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,523
Dr. Drew on call?
283
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,659
I'm just here because
I can't stop Fruit Ninja.
284
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:14,694
Die, mangoes, die!
285
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:17,563
(grunting)
286
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,500
If this is an addiction center,
I'm hooked.
287
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:21,834
Welcome to Messages.
288
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,170
I am Dr. Lund.
289
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,638
Doc, this prison is great.
290
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:28,074
Nothing but the best
for my family.
291
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,742
I just have one question.
292
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:33,446
How much does this place cost?
293
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,882
Your stay is entirely
funded by donations
294
00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:38,785
from tech billionaires,
who feel guilty
295
00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:42,722
that their sleek, disruptive
technology put you here.
296
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,791
(gasps) It's free?
297
00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:47,960
Kids, we've found
our summer home.
298
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:50,763
The adults will
reconnect with healthier,
299
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,266
time‐tested alternatives
300
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,768
like eating,
drinking, fornicating,
301
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,771
relentless hide‐and‐seek,
the braiding of hair,
302
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,641
listening
to Dana Gould's podcast.
303
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:05,211
Four people suffocated in the
Creature from the Black Lagoon's
304
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,847
suit until they got it right.
At least,
305
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:10,116
‐I'm guessing that's true.
‐(sighs)
306
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:13,786
And you, young man, instead of
playing first‐person shooters,
307
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:17,990
we are going to put
a real rifle in your hands.
308
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,061
Take that, Second Amendment!
309
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:24,097
(grunting softly)
310
00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:27,567
It's time to start
healing, Marge.
311
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:29,135
I love your accent.
312
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,204
I didn't know I had one.
313
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:33,940
This is our one computer,
on which you can say
314
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:37,777
auf wiedersehen forever
to your old online life.
315
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:41,581
Farewell, Instagram,
Facebook and NextDoor.
316
00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:44,150
You all entertained me
and scared me.
317
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,918
Yes, Marge, yes.
318
00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:48,421
Cut forever the puppet strings
that have made you
319
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,957
dance like
a psychotic Pinocchio.
320
00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:53,259
AUTOMATED VOICE:Facebook accountscannot be deleted.
321
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:56,429
Do not try. Do not try.
322
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,631
What is wrong, Homer?
323
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,566
Why the pickle puss?
324
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:04,437
I don't know if I can live in a
world without online solitaire.
325
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:05,638
I have an answer for you.
326
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,206
It's sealed.
327
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:08,841
I will open the plastic.
328
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,843
The box is shut.
329
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,512
I will open the box.
330
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:13,679
‐Could you...?
‐(grunts)
331
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,615
I‐I will deal the cards.
332
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,017
‐And also...?
‐I will play the solitaire!
333
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,686
(whistling)
334
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,489
I need a jack, I need a jack.
335
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,825
I used my phone for everything.
336
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,660
Except to call the parents
who gave it to me.
337
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:30,663
You can call them now.
338
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,598
Hello, Dad?
339
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,768
You don't say.
You don't say.
340
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,837
You don't say.
341
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,005
What did he say?
342
00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:40,106
He hates me.
343
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:42,008
Okay, okay. Let's just talk.
344
00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:44,744
Any subject...
except video games.
345
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,748
A tear rolled down my face,
346
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:51,651
as my avatar did the electric
shuffle on her corpse.
347
00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:52,919
Yes!
348
00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:54,854
That game is awesome!
349
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:56,823
I'm losing control,
but that's all right.
350
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,559
Today's therapist has
many effective options.
351
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,895
(gas hissing)
352
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:07,767
The gas is never a good sign.
353
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:12,038
I have to say,
all this talk about no devices
354
00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:14,307
has really made me
want my phone.
355
00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:17,310
I know, I was talking with
some guys about the weather,
356
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:19,545
and I realized I have no idea
357
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:21,647
what the temperature is
in Cupertino.
358
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,649
‐I need my phone.
‐Me, too.
359
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,486
What if Krusty posted a tweet?!
I must retweet!
360
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,721
‐I must retweet! I must retweet!
‐I need my phone!
361
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,523
‐I need my phone!
‐Must retweet, must retweet!
362
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,859
‐Must retweet, must retweet!
‐I need my phone!
363
00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:34,727
‐Must retweet!
‐(growling): I need my phone!
364
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,396
‐(laughs)
‐We can't leave!
365
00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:40,566
Studies show tech is more
addictive than heroin.
366
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:43,069
Google and TikTok
say that's a lie.
367
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:44,871
We have to be cured.
368
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:47,907
You couldn't be
more wrong, Marge.
369
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:50,710
You couldn't be more wrong.
370
00:16:50,776 --> 00:16:54,380
Since this nation was founded,
families have faced the problem
371
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:57,884
of staying together without
driving each other crazy.
372
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,086
For the first 200 years,
they played fiddle music
373
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:01,587
until they had a war.
374
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,356
It was a good system.
375
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,691
Then, they came up
with sitting around a radio.
376
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,694
But without a screen, they still
had time to look at each other.
377
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:11,697
So... World War II.
378
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:15,167
With peace came TV, which bought
Silicon Valley the time
379
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:18,838
to invent the devices
that isolate us completely.
380
00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:22,608
Finally, the American family
was safe...
381
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,644
from itself.
382
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,746
Is any of that true?
383
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,614
Once I post it on Reddit,
384
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,650
it will be.
385
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,285
Okay, we'll just say goodbye
386
00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:34,253
and then we'll get our things.
387
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,489
What's going on here?
388
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,458
I thought this was
a screen‐free environment.
389
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,127
It is, for the patients.
390
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:44,597
But the rest of us have
side hustles to perpetrate.
391
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:47,800
"I'm making $400
a day from home.
392
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,769
Want to know how?"
393
00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:52,805
You're sending that spam
through my e‐mail account?
394
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:56,042
(gasps) You stole her password
when she checked in!
395
00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:59,845
Unlike every other rehab,
this one is a scam!
396
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,982
And we're gonna
expose you to the world!
397
00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,417
I'm afraid not.
398
00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:06,052
You signed a contract.
399
00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:10,423
And every exit is guarded
by a laser‐detection system.
400
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:12,625
You have lasers
at a rehab center?
401
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:16,862
Let me remind you,
this is an evil rehab center.
402
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:20,666
♪ ♪
403
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,408
(disc cracks)
404
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,281
♪ ♪
405
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,676
♪ ♪
406
00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:23,896
Anyone order a ride
from Jupiter One?
407
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:26,766
Ooh, I'm riding in a spaceship.
408
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:30,970
Stick that spammer
in the darkest,
409
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:33,205
dankest cell we've got, Lou.
410
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:34,940
The one furthest from the Wi‐Fi.
411
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,709
One bar, scumbag.
412
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,678
One bar is all I need
413
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,913
to scramble
your Spotify suggestions.
414
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,582
Hope you like Little River Band.
415
00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:45,718
("Reminiscing"
by Little River Band playing)
416
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,787
(Wiggum humming)
417
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,121
(Lund grumbles)
418
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,723
(Wiggum continues humming)
419
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,692
(Lund clears throat)
420
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:56,529
(groaning)
421
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,864
‐(straining)
‐(continues humming)
422
00:19:58,931 --> 00:19:59,899
No, no!
423
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:03,803
Please, turn the siren on.
424
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:04,704
(siren wailing)
425
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,005
LUND:Ah! Much better.
426
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:12,611
Only 12 doughnuts for three
cops‐‐ well, there's no way
427
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:15,181
to divide them evenly, so,
uh, I'll just eat them all.
428
00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:16,816
Captain Wiggum,
429
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:19,785
I could help you
with your food addiction.
430
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:21,454
Huh? Uh, what do you mean?
431
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,356
Psychologically,
you are a baby with a gun,
432
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,525
sticking food in his mouth.
433
00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:30,162
Eat, eat, eat, all the day,
like a schwein.
434
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,697
Wow, you are such
a great profiler.
435
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:34,767
With you, we wouldn't
even need DNA evidence.
436
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,535
Boy, so sick
of getting criminals
437
00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:38,370
to give semen samples.
438
00:20:38,437 --> 00:20:40,206
Uh, Chief, you don't need semen.
439
00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:41,874
A lock of hair will do.
440
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,642
It what?!
441
00:20:52,651 --> 00:20:56,655
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
442
00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:30,923
Shh!
31426
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