All language subtitles for Sjukt Oklar 1x02

Ok. This whole pretending to be 16...

redoing high school thing
has been going well so far.

But now everything is more complicated.

And it's all Vera's fault.

She's gone from being Vera...

my hook-up from Bali
who might be the love of my life...

to now being Vera, my teacher,
who might fuck everything up.

But yeah, screw that.

Screw her. I'm over her already.

And this is my new thing.

I promised myself I'm gonna do this.

I just need to be in the right mindset.

I'm gonna be Beyoncé.

Meaning I'm gonna make lemonade.

- Good morning.
- Hey! Good morning.

Old ladies first.

Or just ladies first.

You can go first if you want to.

I just brushed my teeth
so it's kinda gross.

- Alright, I'll see you inside.
- Yeah, see you.

I guess this is all gonna go to...

shit.

So how to be critical to your sources?

You can start with three questions.

Three question words.

Who's written it?

When was it written?

And why?

Hey Ellen.
Did you want to get anything?

What?

For the party?

He can get wine...

rubbing alcohol or whatever we want.

Who?

-The "Ace".
- It's not The "Ace", it's The "Ass".

Do you even know this person?

Of course I do.

Kinda.

It's a friend's friend's brother's classmate.

Moa this seems like a bad idea.

Are you guys paying attention back there?

Absolutely.

But like in Swedish.

Okay, he might be kinda shady, but...

"Can you meet me late tonight
by the old water tower?"

"You have to come alone."

"By the way cookie,
how old are you?"

Okay, maybe really shady.

Moa, this won't work.

You shouldn't even be drinking alcohol.

Yeah, I should.

I can't go to my first party without it.

Your first party?

Why didn't you tell me?

You usually
don't want me to tell you though.

I do!
If it's your first time I wanna know.

But when I told you
I wanted to gift my virginity to David...

you changed the topic right away.

I just thought American pancakes
should have a place in the discussion.

To practice criticism...

Don't buy from the serial killer.

You could get all kinds of shit.

You could become blind.

Or need an ostomy.

It might seem great,
but it really isn't.

You don't get it.

I have to,
I don't know anyone who can buy it.

Okay, I've been trying
to avoid this for a year.

But now Moa's life is at stake.

So I guess it's a good reason?

I can help you get booze.

What?

Why didn't you tell me sooner?

Cause my whole life is a lie
and I need to keep it secret...

cause there are two years
with countless days left.

- Because--
-All right. That's it for today.

Til next time read chapter 1 to 3.

So get lost, or have a good day.

- I'll just fix it, okay?
- Thanks.

Ellen, can we talk for a second?

Nope, definitely not.

Absolutely.

I've been thinking.

Ok, Ellen, get your shit together.

You have to focus on school.

Forget Vera. You're over her 100%.

You're 16.

And I'm your teacher.

Right, just what you said.

So I think it might be good
if we can talk through...

some things.

You weren't uncomfortable when we...

- What?
- I mean you were 15 when we...

Of course.

Anyway, I never do anything illegal.

Okay, I can help you get booze.

Unless it's for a good reason.

A good reason?

Yeah, you know, like...

Helping children in need.

Have you ever done that?

No.

Have you?

Yeah.

WTF, why are you so perfect?

So you don't feel like I...

That I...

Forced myself on you?

No! Vera. Not at all.

It was extremely voluntarily.

Hashtag "brutal-consent", you know.

Okay, you might be like 50% over her.

Actually you forced me a little.

Forced me to circle around the universe
three times.

You know, from feeling too happy.

Okay, 0% over her.

So, was there anything else?

Let's not talk about it anymore.

We'll put it behind us.

Absolutely.

Good.

Katja, what would happen if I...

maybe, you know, started dating a teacher?

Don't Ellen.

Exactly, that is what I thought.

No actually, why not?

It's not like it's the worst idea
in the world.

Actually, it is the worst idea in the world.

You're already risking two years in prison
for this high school thing.

It's bordering fraud, I mean...

you've lied about your age.

Prison? Why didn't you tell me before?

I did, but you didn't listen
'cause you were booking Beyoncé tickets.

Yeah, but that wasn't only for me,
you know?

Otherwise neither of us would have tickets.

I didn't get one,
you booked for you and your mom.

Maybe I didn't have money
for all three of us.

I paid for it.

Prison for two years though.
That's a lot of days.

Yeah, and you need to come up
with a better excuse.

Your usual shitty one won't cut it.

Excuse me, it isn't a shitty excuse.

Ellen, can you help me move this cupboard?

Ow, mom my appendix.

You know for how long
I've wanted to remove it.

What the fuck should I do though?

Nothing.

Just lay low and try not to do
anything more illegal.

Sure, sure.

Great, and by the way..

you can just send
the money for the tickets like

right now.

- That doesn't work on me.
- I know.

What do you mean you can't get it?

Not even a small bottle?

No way, I can't.

You're gonna thank me later.

We have to lay low.

ASS: I can get you wine...

I thought you deleted that creep.

Come on, he isn't that creepy.

ASS: ...if you can send a picture
of your dirtiest bra?

My "bre"?

That's not an "E", it's an "A".

He want's a photo of my dirtiest bra?

I really can't.

You have to drink something else.

Or like only water, you know.

- Please.
- No!

No no no no.

My answer is no.

And that's final.

Okay, I'm still doing the right thing here.

It's only a bottle of wine.

This way Moa won't get murdered.

I'm laying low.

Ellen, hey!

Oh well, hello hello.

Oh, yeah, our neighbor works here.
How nice.

- Your mom doing alright?
- Yeah.

Or, actually...

Except for her back.
She tried to lift a cupboard by herself.

And it didn't go that well.

Do you need to see my ID?

No, no need.

Great choice.
Pairs well with brisket.

Nice, I'll tell the lucky receiver.

It's for my mom.

A little get well gift.

I bought standing tickets to Beyoncé...

and it won't work 'cause of her back.

- I get it.
- So she can't go.

How nice of you.
She'll probably be very happy.

Yeah.

It is very thoughtful.

- I got it.
- Nice!

Did you get wine coolers as well?

Wine coolers?

We agreed on one bottle.

Yeah, but we need to be drunk
before we arrive at the party.

No, we don't.

Let's just do this.

Hey guys.

I got a bottle of red.

Apparently it pairs with brisket.

What are you doing?

Nothing, why did you drop the bottle?

So that I could give it to you.

- Like that?
- Yeah.

Bot you have to make sure I'm ready first.

How can you not be ready?
Have you never received anything before?

But who just drops things like that?

Everyone,
that's how handing things over works.

You let things go
and the other person catches them.

Jesus!

Hello.

This just proves that this
is a really bad idea.

And don't go texting bra-man.

You'll just have a sober weekend.

Yeah or...

You can just get me a new bottle
when you get everything else on the list.

What list?

I might have mentioned
that I have an alcohol dealer.

I'm not an alcohol dealer. I'm laying low!

Hello again.

But people just started ordering
and I couldn't say no.

It isn't that much though.

Moa! This is over 20 people.

Where the fuck are you two even going?

Can you just go there?

Moa?

I'm sorry but...

I didn't do it on purpose
and now I promised them.

If I say no now I'll look like an idiot.

Well the answer is no.
It won't happen.

No.

This is still the right choice.

A good thing really.

A good cause and a great reason.

And in theory you could say that...

I'm saving a whole class
from being murdered.

So I'm...

Ellen.

Oh, hello evening. I mean good evening.

Hi What...

Yeah...

This isn't mine.

I'm here with my mom,
who is standing over there.

Single moms you know.

"Super mom" who kinda took on
the father role as well.

Ellen, come on.

Yeah, that's not my mom.

It's my "sugar momma".

Like a caregiver who...

BTW, would you be interested
in a standing ticket to Beyoncé?

What are you even doing?

No? Okay, Look Vera.

I know...

what this looks like.

But it isn't like that.

I would never do anything illegal,
you know?

Ellen. Here again already?

Fuck, this isn't happening.

Wow, crazy weekend, huh?

You finished the wine from earlier today?

- Hey.
- Hi.

- What?
- I'm ready to receive the alcohol.

I don't have the "goods".

What do you mean
you don't have the "goods"?

You sound like the worlds' worst dealer.

I'm not a dealer! I'm laying low!

Seriously, are you following me?

And you're wearing the same clothes
as yesterday.

Gross. Go change.

When are you gonna fix this?
People are starting to complain.

Like a lot.

Okay, I had a plan A.

But, it kinda went to shit.

There is a reasonable explanation for this.

And then plan B.

Oh, come on.

It's a really good idea.

Me buying booze
for 21 students at the school?

How is that a good idea?

Okay, so what now?

- Tonight I do plan D.
- What happened to plan C?

I skipped it.

This is D for desperate.

What do you want me to say?

This is the definition of desperate.

But...

I don't think there is any other way.

It isn't cool, but it's necessary.

And I probably won't brag about it
in the future.

I probably won't even think--

What the fuck is this shit?

Don't ask.

Where was I?

I'll probably think of this
as a side quest..

in this "grow up and take responsibility" thing.

But on the bright side...

this whole Vera thing is still pretty...

confusing.

- Are you going to the water tower?
- Shut up.

Why don't you just go to the wine store?
You're already 24.

Shut up!