All language subtitles for Sjukt Oklar 1x01

You know you can't hold your hand
like that, right?

I might as well take a photo
of the back of your head.

If you think about it
that was one of my first suggestions,

which you said no to.

So make up your mind,
I'm not the weird one here.

No, of course not.
You've been doing this for 13 minutes.

The only thing weird
is that you are timing our conversation.

- Do you get paid by the hour?
- Yeah.

Then go ahead,
take the fucking picture.

My name is Ellen
and I'm first year in high school.

Nothing weird about that, right?

Except for the fact that I'm 24 years old.

Okay, so how did I get here?

You could say it's related
to a not so good quality of mine.

Ever since I was little I've always
had difficulties finishing things.

I kinda just leave.
- Ellen.

You could say that I'm really good
at being really bad at finishing stuff.

Which has made me make some impulsive
and sometimes bad decisions.

Welcome. Good morning.

Like my brilliant idea
of dropping out of school...

just as I was about to take
my final exams.

Ellen?

And the years after that
just turned into nothing.

Until I turned 23.

And decided to try some kind of self help

through going out and traveling the world.

My plan was to grow.

To find myself and meet new
and exciting people.

And I actually did.

Or more like I met ONE person.

I met Vera.

Vera, you know,
it was completely insane.

We really clicked, on some bizarre level,
and I...

I felt happy, truly.

Unfortunately, I quickly realized that
flight behaviour that's always been my thing

Ellen, they didn't have any calzone so...

That was still my thing.

Hello! Ellen?

So I kept traveling.

Until I realized that traveling
actually costs money.

I was completely broke.

But I was definitely not ready to give up
and move back in with mom.

Darling! Welcome home to mommy!

But I did give up and moved home to mommy.

Welcome home, fuckface.

My little brother David was right.

I felt like a fuckface.

A real failure of a fuckface.

So I was forced to take control of my life.

For real this time.

So... yeah.

Speaking of taking impulsive
and bad decisions.

So I asked an old buddy...

whom will remain anonymous.

She helped me get enrolled at high school

as a fake 16 year old.

I know that this sounds insane.

I'm not an idiot.

I was forced to do something.
I needed a fresh start.

So I decided to simply start over.

To go again.

And most importantly finish high school.

Like a three year plan
to become a better person.

Yes, exactly. I'm not stupid.

So yeah. Now I'm here.

I'm pretending to be 16.

And I'm simply doing my best
to not get found out.

And I've promised myself this time
to not just leave.

I have to finish this.

And to be honest I think
it has been going pretty well so far.

I mean it's almost been a year already.
Yeah, feels like it's going...

It's really going to shit.

Chill Moa,
it's only a picture for the yearbook.

- It's no big deal.
- But I always look horrible in pictures.

No, of course you don't.

Just think positive and relax.

Maybe...

Have you tried to maybe not...

not blink on some of the pictures?

Or just not use flash?

But I can't. I have to let my iris
adjust to the light.

But Moa it doesn't work like that.

For real though,
isn't David so handsome?

I guess he might be...

Okay, it might have been easier...

if everyone knew
that me and David are siblings.

But now it is how it is,
I'm pretending to not know him.

But I actually know him a little too well.

- You need to fix the dish-- Jesus Christ!
- What the fuck?

- Why the fuck are you in my room?
- I've been calling you several times!

Get out of my room!

I think we might not see David
in the same way.

Thank you. Come on.

If he wasn't with Jessica,
he could do anything he wanted to me.

I daydream that he comes
to my house when I'm alone...

throws himself over me.

- And slowly moves his hand down my--
- Okay, we have to take pictures now.

So, in you go.

Next, please.

No, I'm not gonna take the pictures.

Okay, but it's mandatory.
So, yeah, you are.

Okay, I get that

But I think I'll just skip out.

Seems better that way.

Seems smart to just avoid
this kind of thing.

I don't want to attract
unnecessary attention.

Okay, cool.

- But you have to delete that picture.
- It's directly uploaded to the school system.

Super smooth.

Yeah, really smooth. Absolutely.

But seriously you need to remove it.

Do you want me to explain it again
using sock puppets?

Even though they are mostly
to make kids smile.

Not to explain things.

Cause even they understand
when I say it's mandatory.

Okay. First of all...

I don't need any sock puppets
to understand.

And secondly,
I don't give a fuck about your photo.

You need to remove that photo!

No, I don't think so Ellen.

Come on, please.

For once just help me put.

For once? I help you out all the time!

No, you don't.

Actually, she does. Katja is the one
who got me into high school.

Nothing of this would have worked...

if I didn't know anyone
who worked at this school.

And also it's pretty nice
to have someone to talk to.

She really knows what I'm thinking.

To be honest,
I have no clue what you're thinking.

What? Come on, please.

If you delete the photo
you're just gonna attract more attention.

What? I don't get how you're thinking.

Seriously? Do I need to use
the sock puppets again?

Stop bringing that up!
It was one time, twelve years ago.

Just let it go!

Come on please.
Can't you just do this for me?

Alright, alright.

Wow, David has really grown up,
hasn't he?

Like, more manly, you know?

Right?

Get out of my room!

Just keep going, okay?

Okay.

Yeah, this picture isn't that great, huh?

Yeah, but that's not why
I want to remove it.

Did you try to take one where you...
didn't blink?

She didn't even
adjust the light for my iris!

- Just remove it.
- Okay.

There you go. It's gone.

Thanks. You're the best.

Ellen?
You know this isn't that smart.

Katja, you worry too much.

I'm smooth as fuck.

Since there's been way too much...

chatting and texting during lectures...

starting from Monday...

with approval of the principal.

To make all cellphones
check into a "phone hotel".

It's incredibly important
that we can focus...

and concentrate on--

So that there won't be any...

Thank you Stefan.

I don't need to be here
for these kinds of announcements.

But...

I feel completely off
after the photography session.

Moa, relax.

You're making this too big of a thing.

Easy for you to say.
You always look great in photos.

Yeah, this picture isn't that great, huh?

Maybe that's true.

- The packages may never return.
- Which is not okay.

But you need
to stop focusing on it so much.

Take me as an example.

I had a really bad stress stomach
a couple of years ago.

And belched every time I got stressed out.

I know, super gross.

- We are working super hard to fix it.

The smell has now disappeared.

But later I stopped thinking about it.

And stopped seeing it as a problem.

So it just disappeared.

It's been 4 years.

And I've neither stressed nor belched.

Okay.

So trust me.

Just try to let it go.

Perfect timing.

Class, I want you all
to welcome your new teacher

Vera Nyberg

Thanks.
Nice to meet you.

I can start by introducing myself, maybe.

Okay.

Like I said, my name is Vera.

You already know that.

I'll be substituting for Maggan...

who moved to Spain to be a bullfighter.

But this is gonna be great...

It's gonna be nice to get to know you all.

I have to get out of here, distract them.

I'm 24. I'm originally from Gøteborg
What? No.

Yes! Just say you're pregnant
or something.

- Recently I've been in Asia.
- Wow.

And traveled around a bit.

WTF? No, never!

Yes! Or I'll post this picture of you.

What picture?

Ellen, you can't think that I will...

Fucking hell, I'm pregnant!

Okay, everything is alright.

No problem.
She won't recognize me in all--

- Ellen.
- Oh, for fucks sake.

Oh wow, hello! You're here.

How's it going?

Why are you even here?

Okay, focus.

I can fix this.

Did you hear that Moa is having a kid?

Pretty insane, right?

By the way,
are my gums bleeding?

No.

Ok, great,
cause I hit that door pretty hard.

By the way,
I think I owe you a calzone, right?

Ellen, come on.
What are you doing here?

Are you...

in high school or what?

I mean...

Yeah. No.

kinda.

So you are 16?

Okay, this whole thing is kinda...

complicated.

But it's not what you think.

I wasn't even 16
when we were sleeping together.

You... weren't 16 when we...

Like in a positive way.

Fuck, sorry. I just need to think.

Get out of my room!

- Okay, I was thinking the wrong things.
- Ellen, stop talking.

So you cannot tell anyone.

- What we did.
- No, of course.

- Okay.
- No one, you hear?

I promise, I'm not going to tell anyone.
Okay?

You can relax, no one is gonna know.

I'm great at keeping secrets,
and this is just a secret.

Won't tell anyone.

- And if it were to happen again--
- No, it won't happen again.

Of course it won't.

So you can just relax.

My gums started bleeding now, right?

Sure, it's all good.

It's just her.

I mean, it's only her.

Exactly, why the hell is it her?

Your photos seem to have disappeared
for some reason.

So we have to take them again.

It's mandatory.

You get it.

My name is Ellen.

And I'm a first year in high school.

Nothing weird about that.

Right?