All language subtitles for Schitts.Creek.S06E10

Just the "little farmer's
breakfast" for me, Twyla.

I've got the tasting for
the wedding this afternoon,

don't wanna... spoil my appetite.

Oh! You're not using
the café for catering?

Yes, John. Why wouldn't you have Twyla

cater David's big day?

Well, the food for the
wedding is my gift to David,

so it's really his decision.

It's just the more you keep
mentioning that it's a gift,

the less and less it feels like a gift.

You know, I-I was just
thinking that, you know,

how can Twyla enjoy
herself at the wedding

if she's-if she's working?

I'm invited to the wedding?

Sure looks like it.

Look at you, John, doling out
gift after gift this morning

like the Turkish Saint Nikolaas.

I'll just have the
fruit cup to go, please.

I must attend to some
good news of my own.

Coming right up.

David, I didn't know she
wasn't invited to the wedding.

Well, you certainly fixed
that problem for yourself.

What's your good news?

Thank you.

Tippy Bernstein is on his way here.

He solicited a
power-lunch with me today.

Well, there is a name I
haven't heard in a while.

Tippy Bernstein was
the executive producer

on "Sunrise Bay." What
could he possibly want?

I'm assuming a new project.

Tippy always had his
fingers in a few fires.

Oh dear.

- Good God.
- Brave faces everyone.

- Hey.
- Alexis!

Oh, you're looking
so natural and... peppy.

A bit of a rough night actually.

Oh.

Well, you're fooling everyone, dear.

Mhmm. Um... you just have,

you have something in your hair.

Here. I'm just gonna grab... that.

- Is it gone?
- Yeah.

Yeah.

- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --

Well, thanks for turning
up so early, everyone.

And welcome. My name is Johnny...

Johnny Rose.

It's printed right here
on the cover of the book

that he's handing out to all of you.

And my name is Roland Schitt...

And I'm the boss you're gonna come to

when you don't understand why this guy

is making you read about VHS tapes.

Not exactly the united front
we had discussed, Roland.

Well, Johnny, somebody has
to inspire these people.

Well, welcome to the
Rosebud Motel family.

Oh, there is our other
partner, Stevie Budd!

Stevie, do you wanna come over
and say hi to our new staff?

Uh, I think I need to speak
to you for a minute in private.

Well, no need for that,
we're all family here.

Okay. Ronnie found
termite damage in Room Six

and apparently the entire foundation

- is about to collapse.
- Uh, Stevie,

that's really something we
should talk about in private.

- Mhmm.
- Tell you what?

Why don't we take five, and
feel free to help yourself

to one of our vending
machine over there.

Here you go.

Welcome everyone.

How are we gonna cover these costs?

Well, I gave one of my
kidneys to my cousin Bruce.

Uh, we can see how I
run on an empty tank.

I went to school with a guy
who starts "accidental" fires.

I mean, worse comes to worst,

we could collect the insurance money.

Okay. We're not burning anything down

and we're not selling any organs.

We're knee-deep in this now.

We're just have to figure out where

- we're gonna find the money.
- Okay. That's good,

because Bruce told me
my kidney was garbage.

Take the pills, Vivian.

A "please" might be nice!

You really think you'd
be head of surgery

at Sunrise General

if you weren't possessed by your father?

Who also happened to be the former

head of surgery at Sunrise General?

Oh, enjoying the box set, are we?

This season is weird.

You're great in it,

but I forgot how bad Clifton Sparks was.

Oh, it's Uncle Sparky to you, Dear.

Also, I'm so confused.

Why is Vivian the only
one who gets possessed

when Trystan also played the Ouija game?

Oh, suddenly she's the director.

And where do we think we're going?

Well, I feel like your
publicist should be there

if you're meeting with Tickle Bernstein.

Tippy. It's Tippy, and no,

not necessary, dear.
Not in your condition.

- Thank you.
- No it's fine.

I'll just throw on some clothes.

No! I insist.

Mummy can handle this
one all by herself.

All right? What's important
is that you stay here

where no one can see you

and focus on your critical self-care.

Oh, I wanna see this.

You can and you know it!

How dare you make me
kill my father twice!

You'll pay for this one day.

David: I think that's a must.

I honestly don't know what to pick.

Mr. Rose, this looks pretty fancy.

You sure you're okay to pay for it?

I know you have the
motel to worry about.

Well, I can't back out now, Stevie.

David would understand.

I mean, not at first,

but... deep down he's
not a total monster.

So we're two minutes late
and if this were the actual wedding,

the doors would be closed
and you would be locked out.

Okay? Um, this is
Penelope, she's our caterer.

Penelope, this is my Dad,

who's footing the bill for the food.

Stevie is my Maid of Honor,
she's just here to eat.

So Penelope and I have
already selected an appetizer.

Wow. This is quite the spread.

Looks very impressive, son.

- Expensive but impressive!
- Hm.

Oh, I like this, little side salad.

Poor thing.

That's the garnish for the lobster roll.

Lobster! Ah.

Are we inviting The Vanderbilts?

I said lobster roll.

And to your point, we have
not discussed the salad.

Oh, I have an amazing Parmesan, arugula

and black truffle salad

that would complement
the evening perfectly.

- My God! Yes!
- Or... or...

if we're not using the
lettuce under the lobster roll

can we just not make a side
salad out of this lettuce?

- Are these prices per table?
- Um, per plate.

And speaking of, we are
adding eight more plates.

I was finally allowed to invite
some friends from New York,

- they're a caviar crowd.
- Oh, I love that idea.

- I love that.
- Caviar?

Huh?

Would anyone like to
try some beef tenderloin?

Oh, sure. Sure.

Oh, you know what they
say about tenderloin;

always... a risky option.

It's gotta be done just, just right.

Hmmm...

- Mmm.
- Yes.

- Mmm.
- Yes.

Well, you know, it's-it's... it's fine.

It's fine?

Oh, it's the best
thing I've ever tasted.

Well, you don't want people
coming to your wedding

and only talking about the food.

That is literally the only thing

I want them talking about.
What is wrong with you?

- You love beef tenderloin.
- No, I'm just exploring,

- you know, other options.
- Okay.

Well, might I suggest you
explore the duck confit

Why not, it's not like
we're paying for the samples.

We're not paying for
the samples, are we?

- No.
- Oh.

Okay. Then do you wanna
put a bit more tenderloin

- on there, please.
- Of course.

Moira fucking Rose. Wow.

I mean, I figured time
stood still in this town,

but look at you!

You are just as... gorgeous

as the day I discovered you.

Oh Tippy.

You're as alive as ever!

No, don't get up!

No, no. Don't worry about it.

Cured that vertigo years
ago. I hired a hypnotherapist.

Then I married her.

And then I divorced her.

You-are-getting-very... broke.

Ha!

Tippy, I have missed
that vaudevillian charm.

Oh, Honey, it's been far too long,

but I come bearing gifts.

And the first one's
standing right over there.

Clifton!

Muffy!

Looking luscious as always.

Oh, had I known you were both coming,

I'd have dressed for the occasion.

You're looking fresh and dewy.

Gave up the drink.

Strictly a wine and scotch man now.

Listen, what do you say
we all take a load off

because this standing thing is
not all it's cracked up to be.

Cliffy! Cliffy, I have not seen you

since you starred in that
electrifying courtroom drama

about the potty mouth, feral child.

Oh, that was an actual court case.

My daughter wanted to emancipate

and the press couldn't get enough.

- Lucky you!
- Speaking of...

the press can't get
enough of you, Moira.

That "Crow" picture.

- I mean, who'd have thought?
- Oh. Thank you!

And what did you think, Clifton?

I can't wait for the screener.

So, I'm sure you're dying to
know what this is all about,

and since this isn't sweeps weeks,

I won't keep you hanging.

My imagination has become

rather unbridled since you called.

Let me guess. A reunion?

No, it's much, much, much, much better.

Some sort of televised
event? It's a panel?

- Late night?
- They wanna reboot "Sunrise Bay!"

- What? Who...
- No, no. It's a big, big co-production.

All the good people want
in. Moira, it's gonna be raw,

it's gonna be edgy, and primetime!

A sexy new cast,

but they have asked
for prominent characters

from the original to
ground the whole thing.

- So I called Clifton...
- Alphabetical.

- And he said...
- I said,

I wouldn't do it without you.

And that was before
Nicole Kidman signed on

as Adriana's daughter.

Nicole Kidman.

And I was believing
you both up till now.

No, no, no. M-Moira this is all true.

Have you forgotten that
Vivian was killed off?

When has that ever stop us?

But that last time I was shredded.

That's why we have writers.
Let them do their magic.

Oops, oops. What do we have here?

What is that? Is this
maybe a very generous offer

for a direct to-series
primetime Emmy contender.

Have a read. Have a read of that

and then maybe meet up
with us later tonight?

We can celebrate over drinks.

I don't know what to say.

It's a simple answer, Vivian.

Say yes.

Alexis! Do I have news...

Okay, thank God you're here

because I have so many questions.

Like, why did they
kill off your character

after you had just given
birth to your ninth child

and escaped from the cave with
the secret about your lover...

Who was a ghost, yes.

And then they killed off in
like the most humiliating way.

I'm not sure I call it humiliating.

You vomited a demon into a toilet,

and then fell in and drowned.

Well, the writers
insisted it was symbolic.

Nevertheless, I have something...

- And then they shredded you.
- Yes.

Yes. I should have seen that coming

after the contract demands but...

Okay yes. Re: that drama.

I just fell down a
dark Sunrise fan-hole

and found this message board
about conspiracy theories.

- Oh Alexis.
- There are a lot of fans

who think Clifton Sparks
had you written off the show

because he was jealous.

Don't be a dotty, poor Alexis.

No I, unwittingly negotiated
myself off the show.

End of story.

Okay. You watch this video

and tell me who you think
he's referring to then.

Come.

There has been some
serious Sunrise intrigue

around the sudden
departure of Vivian Blake.

Can you tell us what happened?

She had a good run.

But let's just say "someone"
reminded the producers

that there's only room
for one head of surgery

at Sunrise General.

And I think all you housewives at home

know who that should be.

See, he's basically admitting

to having you written off the show.

No. He's drunk there. No. That's not...

No, Alexis I came here
to tell you something...

I've been asked to resuscitate Vivian

so that she may live again
in a primetime reboot.

Is Clifton involved?

Alexis, he drove all this way

just to personally beg me to acquiesce.

Hm. Of course he did.

You're the only person in
the show making headlines

- right now.
- That's not true.

Adriana had that DUI last year.

Popped a breasts, poor dear

They need you. And all I'm saying is,

as your publicist and your daughter,

and now the moderator of
the "Sunrise Bay" fan forum,

there's more to this story.

And if you wanna go through with this

after watching that video?

Just remember that
there is nothing wrong

with asking for what you deserve.

Perhaps a little more housework
and little less mouse work

might do you some good, Alexis.

But thank you for your pair of pennies.

Hmm.

Good news, Stevie, I think
I may have found someone

who can do the fumigation
for half the price.

His name's Phil.

He's got a lot of two-star reviews,

but that's one more
star than the other guys.

Will the savings cover the cost

of rebuilding the foundation?

No. No they won't.

So I guess the news
isn't that good after all.

Ooh, hi.

Hi. Oh, still eating the tenderloin?

Well, they were just
gonna throw it out, David.

Oh.

Um, I noticed that there
was some awkwardness

earlier at the tasting,
and I just got the sense

that you were uncomfortable
about something.

Oh?

I don't know why you would think that.

Penelope asked if you wanted to crack

the top of the creme
brulée and you asked,

"If we break it, do we buy it?"

Well, I think that was a
perfectly legitimate question

considering I wasn't even
hungry after the beef.

Okay. I know what's going on.

- You do?
- Yeah, and don't worry,

you don't have to cover
the cost of the extra table.

That's eight plates than
you hadn't budgeted for.

Plus Patrick's parents ended
up giving us way more money

- than we had expected.
- Oh.

Yeah. Apparently there is
some nest egg they set aside

for Patrick and his ex-fiancée.

So honestly you have to pay for anything

if it's going to be a strain.

David,

- I said I would cover the food...
- Okay.

But if the Brewers wanna
pay for the extra table,

then uh, I think that's a wonderful
gesture form the Brewers.

Great. What did I tell
you about that beef?

- Oh good.
- Right?

- So good, right?
- Hmm.

Mr. Rose,

It's not gonna always be like this.

You know, we had a
sizable nest egg set aside

for David's wedding.

He was talking about Bali for a while.

We were gonna charter some jets.

Fly everybody.

I'm gonna get some air, Stevie.

Please. You know, I'm
not interested in that.

Room for one more?

- Muffy, grab a chair.
- I hope you don't mind,

we decided to get a head
start on the celebration.

Extra dry? Extra olive?

Oh, thank you, Mr. Bernstein!

Hey, tell that cute bartender
I'd love a sex on the beach.

If she has time, I need another scotch.

Ha! You better hurry
if you want to catch up.

Oh no, this doctor would
rather nurse her potable,

if you don't mind.

Best to stay lucid for our congress.

Hey. Remember how you
entered that time machine

you discovered in the
hospital's broom closet?

Season Three?

What if we bring you back that way?

It's not easy to
dis-remember my final demise.

It was even more vicious
than Vivian's getting trampled

while honeymooning in Pamplona.

Oh Moira! Get over it!

Contract negotiations
go sour all the time!

What do you know about my contract?

What?

I believe I gave you
a new contract today.

Did you-did you bring it?

- Clifton...
- Hm?

There are fans who think that

you might have had something to do with

my being written off the show.

What?! Who? Why would... ?

Look, Moira, there were
a lot of egos back then,

and I was different man.

That was before my liver transplant.

- Is it true?
- Think of it as a compliment.

Your star was rising,
and I was maybe jealous.

Oh, would you look at this.

I'm getting texts from Nicole's office.

Serves me right for sharing
EP credit. These people...

I'm guessing, Clifton
was also responsible

for my name being repeatedly left off

the Daytime Emmy ballot?

No, we submitted you every year.

And-and that season that
you played your own brother

we submitted you for
Best Actress and Actor.

You did what?

Oh, Tippy, I did not negotiate myself

out of the job, did I?

You deserved every penny.

Please Moira,

I want you to consider
this offer as my amends.

If you sign on them, we all
get back to doing what we love.

There is something I love

that I haven't been able
to do for quite some time.

Now, Mr. Bernstein,
I have a few demands.

Hm. Hm. Mmm.

I don't know, Johnny,

I have been racking my brain
to come up with the cash.

I mean at this point,

I'm willing to sell my
baseball signed by Geena Davis.

Might take more than that, Roland.

Gentlemen. Hello.

- Stevie.
- Hello.

Well, apologies for
calling such a late meeting

but I think you'll both agree
we're in a bit of a situation.

And by "situation"

he means that money-pit
of a motel we bought.

No, I stand by the decision
to expand our business

but at this point, I
think our only option

is to sell the second motel,

and recoup whatever we can.

Yeah, and I'm in total agreement.

Well, I don't like that idea.

I don't like that idea at all.

What else you got, Johnny?

What if we bought 30 more motels?

Right now.

What am I looking at?

These are all the roadside
motels currently for sale.

Now bottom line, we're
not gonna make money

off of two or three locations.

We're only gonna start
seeing the real money

at 20 or 30 locations.

Yeah, I'm with Stevie,
it's a lost cause.

Now this would be a bigger undertaking.

And if we franchised on a larger scale,

yeah, the dividends would be greater.

Stevie, where did you come up with this?

Oh, it was in a book I was given.

I don't know, maybe you read it.

You did this before, Mr. Rose.

I think you can do it again.

Well, we would need a proper
investor to pull this off.

You know, for the first time,

I think I can actually call
in some favors with this idea.

I mean, we'd need a really strong pitch.

And boy, I-I don't even know
if anyone from the old life

would even take a meeting but...

A wise man once wrote:

"You miss 100% of the
tapes you don't play".

I did write that.

And I know that a wise man once wrote:

"Thank you to my wife, Moira."

That's just the dedication, Roland.

That's as far as I got, Johnny.

I'm sorry, I'm partial
to historical fiction.

Oh Alexis, has our
quarantine been lifted?

Yeah, I was scared I
was gonna get bed sores,

so I'm going for a run.

Also, I needed to like
cleanse my brain a bit.

'Cause eight hours of
watching "Sunrise Bay"

made me feel a little
not-right in the head.

It had that effect.

The New England Journal of Medicine

did a fascinating study on it.

Will you be trapped in this
crystal the entire episode?

Best to skip ahead.

So how was the meeting?

You Alexis are one
shrewd little Reynard.

You were right about Clifton.

He sucks in this, by the way.

So he had you written off the show?

Yes, but I used that little nugget

- to negotiate a superior deal.
- Hm?

I am after all,

the one in the cast member
still making headlines.

So you still said yes?

I did.

But on the condition

that Clifton be written off the show
- death of my choosing.

And I asked for more money.

- Okay. Yass, Mom.
- And a diamond tennis bracelet.

Okay. Well, that seems like a bit much.

But it still sounds like
you got what you're worth?

Oh, God no.

I made them an offer they had to refuse.

So, you're not doing it then?

No. Thank you, Alexis.

Thank you for removing my rosy lunettes,

so that I might see Clifton
for who he really is.

If you did all that
without getting out of bed,

imagine what you're capable of doing.

Okay, how is it that your daughter

is also trapped in the cave
but has never looked up once.

You've been hanging over her
for three straight episodes.

Oh, you know, children, this
is where the season picks up.

When the cave starts talking back to me.

Voiced by the wonderful Peter Falk.

- I was gonna go for a run.
- Shh. She's about to look up.

- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --