All language subtitles for Piedone LAfricano, Flatfoot in Africa (1978) EN

(men shouting aggressively)

We gotta buy our
tickets first, don't we?

How many?

All right, don't worry about it.

There's one.

That's no way to do it.

What's the matter buddy, think
you're some kind of wise guy?

Give my pal back his money,
let's see the wallet!

Sit down, you!

That's an exit, huh?

This bus don't do too much business.

You ain't got nothing in here!

Ain't enough to buy a pizza with!

I'll keep that.

What are you doing, you can't do that!

Sit down, you!

Hey you, if there's anyone
you can't handle, say the word.

Don't make her stop, keep driving.

(screaming)

Can't you see what the
sign says or can't you read?

It says, talking to the
driver's prohibited,

now do you understand?

Yeah, I understand.

All right you bum, now get back there.

Drive the bus.

But Commissioner.

No excuses, come on.

Drive the bus to headquarters.

Excuse me, sister.

It's all right, brother.

(gun firing)

(panicked shouting)

Come back here, you'll
get hurt if you fall.

Don't pull the hair.

This is Mergellina,
and that's Mount Vesuvius

in the background over there, my dear.

What?

How dare you sir!

(shouting)

It's against the law to get
off the bus before it stops.

Really extraordinary!

To the street!

Pocket full of drugs.

That's why you wanna run away, huh?

Hey Inspector Rizzo, bravo, good work!

When it comes to cleaning up Napoli,

you're better than the
Department of Sanitation.

Too bad the government
don't put you in charge

to get rid of all them sewer rats.

Bus service gets worse every day!

Oh, my ear!

Come and get 'em.

Ah Rizzo, what the hell?

If you're using the bus
because your car's too small

for you, at least get the brakes fixed.

Where'd you get your driver's license?

Nowhere, I don't know how to drive.

And now you tell me?

But I tried to before!

Go on.

Well, what did you get now?

Ah, drug addicts, punks.

But until we can grab the
ones who furnished the stuff,

we're in for bad times, bad times.

Yeah, you're telling me.

What is it?

Captain, there's a call
for you in the squad car.

Excuse me.

Yeah, go ahead, sure.

What is it, sir, anything wrong?

Ah, what isn't wrong Mozerella,

we're headed for bad times, bad times!

Rizzo.

[Phone] I've got to see
you, Inspector, right away.

Who are you?

[Phone] I'm a detective.

I'm from South Africa.

Diamonds Security Services.

Look, why don't you
go to a jewelry store

and save your time as well as mine.

[Phone] Look, this
involves drug traffic.

Your former assistant Caputo
told me to contact you.

Caputo, huh?

Do you know what Caputo's
nickname is for me?

[Phone] Uh, Flatfoot.

Do you want to know anything else?

Where down you wanna meet?

[Phone] At the docks tonight
at 10, pier number seven.

How will I recognize you?

Will you have diamonds around your neck?

I'm black.

(disco music)

(growling)

(gun firing)

(tires screeching)

What a stupid way to die.

So far from my lands.

I don't know a smart
way to die, my friend.

There's a letter for you in my pocket.

It's from your friend Caputo.

What did you have to
tell me about narcotics?

Please help my son.

He's down there, in danger.

Yeah, all right, don't worry.

What about narcotics?

Narcotics!

Diamond, narcotics.

Diamonds, remember,

are used for, are used to...

What is it?

Diamond are what?

What do you want me to tell
you in particular, Inspector?

He was a guest like a lot of others.

His name.

His name, well here it is.

Room 320, John Smith.

John Smith, huh?

Very unusual name.

(chuckling)

He have visitors or phone calls?

I never noticed if he did.

This morning after he paid his room,

he booked on the first plane
leaving for Johannesburg.

That's in Africa.

But you did notice he was a Negro.

Negro?

Come on, Inspector.

Of he was a Negro, then I
must be Ambassador Young.

Blonde, blonde and white he was,

and by now, he has flown off.

White, huh?

[Announcer] Attention, please.

Air Italia announces the arrival

of flight 822 from Rome
at gate number three.

Passengers for Cape Town are requested

to go to gate number four
after customs inspection.

He arrived.

[Caputo] Dear Inspector,

Mr. Dimpo will deliver this letter

to you in person himself.

He's a great guy.

I don't know exactly what
it is that he wants of you,

but he asked me if I knew
anybody important in Napoli

who could help him.

So naturally I gave him the name

of San Gennaro and your name.

I hope this missile
finds you in good health,

although I imagine you are as usual

up to your neck with thieves
and sundry nefarious blackards.

I, thank God, am now out of all that,

for I have a new career
here in Johannesburg.

With my severance pay and pension,

I am now the proud owner of
a beautiful restaurant here.

Imagine.

It's on the top of a skyscraper
overlooking the whole town.

(pleasant flute music)

(chuckling) That's
Caputo's car, all right.

Spun sugar?

Spun sugar, mister?

You buy?

No thanks, I gotta watch my figure.

When you're a big man,
it's important, man.

Yes sir, I got no complaints.

Everybody bows when I pass.

Madame.

I don't like this table.

Oh no?

No.

One moment.

You like this?

No no no, it's too close to the window.

One moment.

Here.

Oh, this one's much better.

Yes mother, you're quite right,

it's much better, sit down.

Afternoon.

Hey, why don't you
watch what you're doing,

I must say!

Can I leave this with you?

Yes, I'll take care of it, sir.

(knocking)

Yeah, come in.

What's that?

Yes, this is Mr. Caputo
speaking in person.

Yes, I'm the owner of
Caputo's Pizza Parlors.

What can I do for you?

Huh?

No no no, I got a hundred cases already.

But I'll take another
hundred and pay you cash.

I use champagne

- like water here.
- If I'm bothering you,

I'll come back later.

Ooh.

Captain, you're in Africa!

What a big sight for my small eyes.

Hey, but what's Napoli doing without you?

Sit down, sit down.

Thanks.

Well, you made it big, huh?

Well in a small way,
thank goodness Captain.

Much bigger than what you wrote

to me about in your letter.

Yeah well, you know I'm modest.

- Bravo, good boy.
- (coughing)

Pretty bad cough there.

You just took me by surprise.

Well what do you say we go out and eat,

I know a good place for pasta.

Go out to eat?

Why can't we eat here?

Well frankly here don't eat so well,

it's just for the local trip.

Uh huh.

Who's that?

Huh?

That man there.

Oh, him!

Well he's Smollet, the ex-proprietor.

I bought him out, you know,
but I paid him in gold.

That's what everyone uses here, yeah.

Where is he now?

Hmm, where is he now,
maybe went to Europe.

Poor guy lost always his
money on women and gambling,

he's down to skin and bones.

And every once in a while he shows up here

and I give him a couple of free meals.

Mr. Caputo, I just returned from Europe,

as you can see.

I like the way you've furnished my office,

but I'd like to see some
changes to the roof garden bar.

By the way, I must give you a check.

(laughing)

Oh, sorry.

There you are.

Thank you Mr. Smollet.

It's a pleasure.

Mr. Smollet, I thought.

It's all right, I understand.

Don't worry.

Swell coat.

Thanks.

Always wanted one.

It fits you better though.

A lot of us in Naples have
a sense of the theatrical.

And Caputo here likes playing

the part of the restaurant owner.

Don't tell me you're from Naples, too?

Yeah.

We must have a drink on that.

(buzzing)

My name is Clyde Smollet.

He's Captain Rizzo.

Yeah, I'm captain aboard the Cabot,

but I'm planning to give up the sea.

Well, shall we sit down?

Thank you.

Two whiskeys.

Yes sir.

Please.

Naples.

That's the magic word for me.

My youth was filled
with wonderful memories

of that beautiful city.

I was with the South African artillery

attached to the British eighth army.

But that's 30 years ago.

I didn't dream of
owning a restaurant then.

I only dreamed of eating.

At least you dreamed.

Is this your first visit to Johannesburg?

Yes, but I haven't seen anything yet.

I just arrived.

Well you come along,
I'll show you something.

I had this skyscraper built
because the view of Johannesburg

is far more impressive from up top.

Oh yeah?

Thank you.

From here you can see the city

is practically surrounded by mines.

Oh I admit, the view of
Naples is far more beautiful.

But all that is a lot more precious.

Those are gold mines.

Of course.

Needless to say, Mr. Caputo's quite free

to spend as much time
with you as you like.

Thank you.

I only ask that you supervise the buffet

at my villa this afternoon.

I will, don't worry boss.

Boss, huh?

Oh, by the way Mr. Rizzo.

I'm having a little party
at my house later on today.

If you've nothing better to do,

perhaps you'd like to come along.

Thank you.

Good.

Nice boss I got, huh?

Haven't you any shame?

Inspector, how'd you guess
so fast I wasn't the owner?

Who could by a restaurant
with the severance pay of a cop?

What do you take me for, Capu?

Oh speaking of caps, did
Dimpo bring you the letter?

Yeah, he brought it.

You know, he's one of
the best men I met here.

Was.

Was?

You mean?

Where?

At the port.

Oh mamma mia.

He was officially working
with the tourist's office,

but I knew he was a cop like us.

With the Security Services.

The guys who guard the diamonds?

Yes, but, narcotics too.

But Inspector, every time I see you,

you always bring me trouble!

Well I'm retired and
I don't want any more.

Well there's a nice big plane leaving

in a couple of hours for Italy.

And that way.

And that way, you want me to go.

No, me, because Africa's
not big enough for you.

Listen, before you fly away,

give me the keys to that
limousine parked down there.

I wanna go someplace.

What are you planning now?

Capu, I'm here to discover
is there's any connection

between diamond and hard drugs.

That means you're here to work.

Yeah.

(drumming)

(singing in foreign language)

Bodo!

You are going to explode one
of these days, you eat so much.

Come here now!

Here I am, George.

Go on home now, and
stay out of the museum.

Yes George!

He's just terrible!

His father went away and
asked me to take care of him.

And his mother is dead.

Bodo, you still eating?

Good Lord child, don't
you ever get enough?

You're making me poorer than I am.

I hear your name is Bodo.

Don't be afraid, I'm your father's friend.

Looks like somebody got here ahead of me.

Wonder what they were looking for.

You see, Bodo?

Your father gave it to me.

You see?

(gun firing)

Come here, you!

George!

George!

George!

George!

George!

Help!

Stop, kid!

I got you, you little!

Let go of him.

George!

Pick on somebody your own size!

What are you doing here, huh?

Who sent you?

What do you want from that boy?

(gun firing)

Bodo!

Bodo.

Bodo, come here, wait!

Now where is he?

Bodo!

Bodo, where are you?

Bodo!

Bodo?

Bodo!

Bodo.

Bodo!

Bodo!

Bodo!

Okay, try your teeth on this!

Oh wait, you hold this.

Thanks.

My name is Bodo, did you call me?

Yeah, you don't hear too well, huh?

(sirens blaring)
Come on.

Bodo, drive straight, will you?

I'm driving straight.

You push crookedly!

Now I've heard everything.

Come on Napoli!

Stop, Bodo.

Stop!

[Bodo] I smell food.

Bodo.

Bodo, where you going, come here!

Let's check what we got here.

Confit, so that'll be pancakes and jam.

(speaking in French)

That'd be the pig with a carrot up it's...

(speaking in French)
That'd be hard-boiled eggs,

just a good way to get rid of leftovers.

Let's pass over here.

And desserts.

Ah, here we are.

Gateau, chantilly, creme supreme.

Well that's nothing more

than pound cake with whipped cream.

Personally, as for me, this stuff

is only good for giving attacks.

What you doing?

Don't touch that!

That's a sacrilege, you know that?

This is what I'm going to eat.

Nah, they're not ready yet.

Now keep away from it, I don't want you

to ever touch my spaghetti, I
brought it here from Naples.

You take care of that junk there.

Hey, who are you?

Put that down, you
delinquent little thief you!

Come back here!

When I catch you, I'll
teach you not to steal.

Caputo, what's going on here?

There's a bunch of thieves
here eating half the buffet.

And this one's their leader, Al Capone!

What do you mean, thief?

This is Bodo, he's the son of.

I know who he's a son of.

He's the son of Dimpo.

Oh, oh I'm sorry.

Eat some more then.

And his mother?

He doesn't have a mother.

She's dead.

Poor kid.

Where are we gonna put him?

Where should we put him?

At your house.

At my place?

Yeah.

Look, some men are trying to kill me.

With you he'll be safer.

The boy's small, he won't take much room.

Where is he?

Bodo!

Bodo, come here.

Ah, Mr. Rizzo.

I'm so glad you decided
to accept my invitation.

Come, you're among friends.

Bodo, come here!

What are you stealing now?

Put that down, it's for the guests!

Now into the kitchen with you!

That stuff will give you a belly ache.

I'll give you a good plate of spaghetti.

Just a few friends, huh?

Yes, make yourself at home.

(funky dance music)

Hi there.

Hi.

I'd like to introduce
you to these nice people.

This is Cathy Van West and
this is her husband Bill.

This is Mr. Rizzo, he's
from Naples, Italy.

Oh Naples, that's where
Vesuvius is, isn't it?

Yes, but it's been quiet lately.

- Hey!
- I hope.

Excuse me.

Are you really that big,
or am I seeing double?

Well, my mother wanted twins,
but she had second thoughts.

I'm Margy Connors, and I'm bored.

I'm Smollet's girl,
and I'm bored to death.

My name is Rizzo, and I'm never bored.

Ah, you're so lucky.

And I hate drinking.

In fact, I can see that.

I look for true love
in the bottom of a glass.

And all you find is a headache.

Let's dance.

It's the only sexual activity
that can be done in public

without scandalizing anyone.

Well, I don't know if I
can really measure up to you.

You're more than six feet tall!

Let's dance.

Well my friend, please
don't let her down.

Margy gets quite impossible
when things don't go her way.

If you're not afraid of my feet.

I have no fears.

Oh, you're a fine dancer.

(laughing)

(yelping)

Oh, I am very sorry ma'am!

I'll get the ice.

There, I've almost got it.

Oh, you were marvelous.

And you're so agile.

Yeah, a regular gazelle.

Oh, you belong to the Bolshoi.

I tried ballet, but each
time I threw the girl up,

she never came down again.

(laughing)

I need a fresh drink, be right back.

Waiter, let me have some more champagne.

Now sing a little, fella.

Let me hear the whole story.

Who do you work for, huh?

No one.

Mr. Rizzo!

Oh there you are, I found you at last.

Hello.

I brought you a glass of champagne.

No thanks, I drink
only coppery cocktails.

What's that?

Oh, it's my own special mix here.

Tasty and strong, a real.

Ow!

It gives you a chill.

It's got cognac, whiskey, bourbon,

gin, dry sherry, lemon and tomato juice,

a dash of some Sambuca and rum,

and it's served with popcorn.

Popcorn? Marvelous idea.

I'll have some too.

Be right back.

Oh, Mr. Rizzo.

We were looking for you.

I've a bet with Bill West here
on the height of Vesuvius.

Yeah? I only know it's given up smoking.

It's not good for us either, is it?

Jolly good, that!

(people talking excitedly)

Come here, you!

All right, now tell me who sent you.

But I just love the races,

we can't wait for our horses to enter.

Oh, excuse me.

Mr. Rizzo.

Yes?

Ah, I see you've struck up
a friendship here, I'm happy.

Struck is right.

He's just a little drunk, I'm helping him.

Ah.

Well, come and watch Kathy
dance, she's really good.

Come on.

Come on, you.

Well, do you wanna tell me?

All right.

You wanna talk?

No.

All right, drink then, drink.

Hey Mr. Rizzo, why aren't
you here where the action is?

We're having fun!

What are you doing here by yourself?

Oh nothing, nothing, just
enjoying some fresh water.

You know something
Rizzo, it may sound silly,

but I'm falling for you.

Yeah?

Like in the fairy tale.

The beauty and the beast, huh?

No.

The beast of tomorrow.

We're going to the game
park for a big animal hunt.

That's Smollet's favorite pastime.

Why don't you come with
us, then we'll have fun.

We're going in his private plane.

Thanks, but I prefer fishing.

(blowing)

What's that?

Excuse me, it's a nervous tic.

It just comes over me,
(laughing)

like a chill.

[Margy] I feel you're
keeping something from me.

Look, why don't you go
back to the party, Margy?

I'll join you a bit later.

Take me in your arms, won't you?

I can't.

I feel so safe close to you.

I know you can feel my solitude.

I never play with another man's girl.

Maybe because of my size, I'm too big

to fit in the closet when
the husband comes over.

(laughing)

[Margy] You're so witty, darling.

Maybe my tic's coming back.

- You should hear what Mr.
- Rizzo just told me, everybody.

I think he's the funniest
man I've ever met!

Help me!

Oh, what a beautiful idea!

Let's go in too.

Come on everybody, let's go in the pool.

The water's fine.

Help me, I can't swim!

What's the matter with
you, just look at you.

Look at what you've started.

But time couldn't help it, I slipped!

You made me lose that fish!

I didn't know you were fishing.

Ah, go on with you, get back in there.

Help!

That's right Bodo,
eat, nourish yourself.

I'd say come to my place,
but you wouldn't fit in.

Besides, you'd be too uncomfortable.

I think I'm comfortable here?

But there it's even worse!

Anyway, you've lost track
of that gang by now.

Yeah, because it was my fault, I know.

It sure was.

Might as well enjoy this ride.

You've got four days yet
to stay in this town,

rest in a big hotel some place.

I've gotta find out about
those drugs and diamonds.

Yeah Captain, but who are
you looking for, and where?

Right there.

Look in the mirror, there's one.

Oh dear, what a face.

I think that guy's following
us, he's right behind us!

Caputo, that guy's been
tailing me since the airport.

Gosh Inspector, what
are you going to do?

Those guys don't kid, they
might even shoot at us.

And I don't wanna die
in Napoli, not after...

Well rubbing that horn won't help,

step on the gas instead.

(squeaking)

Can't you make this baby
carriage go any faster?

Come on, step on it.

My foot's on the floor
board but it's not a Porsche.

And with you along, we
need a very steep hill.

(crashing)

Sorry about that.

I knew you were bad driver in Naples,

but you're even worse in South Africa.

Why, you even got little
Bodo white with fear.

(mellow disco music)

Don't worry, don't worry,

Nicky Lauder here's
gonna pay for everything.

And what Nicky Lauder?

I don't even like that lousy stop.

Yeah, well Bodo does.

Here, eat it.

This car's like a wild beast!

At least you'll enjoy something.

[Caputo] Nothing stops you
from eating, does it Bodo?

[Bodo] Ice cream very good.

Mamma mia, everything happens to me.

What are you cooking up now?

Listen, Caputo.

Now you take the little
boy over to your house.

What do you mean, to my house, huh?

You realize tomorrow I'd get up at dawn

to go out game hunting with Mr. Smollet?

Well that boy can't stay alone.

And I've already told you,
some men were at his house!

So?

Well then leave him with some maid,

a babysitter, or an
orphanage or something.

You mean I'm supposed to
take him to an orphanage?

How can I take you with me to those nuns?

They're sure to think that you are my son!

Me, your son?

Yeah.

(groans)

Oh, not good enough, huh?

Come on, get out of that car, presto!

Come on, we're here, let's go.

What have you got for supper?

I'm hungry, Capu.

Again?

All you think to do is to eat!

You must have a worm!

Paper?

Evening paper!

Paper?

Paper, sir?

Evening block?

No, no.

You sure you don't want
an evening paper, sir?

No.

(uptempo dance music)

Muller here.

Okay.

I believe we're on the right track.

I've already spotted my man.

It wasn't in the least
difficult, considering his size.

Fine.

I think we can take care
of this entire matter

without much trouble.

Right, I'll give you a call tomorrow.

The same time.

I don't know whether
I'll be in town or not.

Bye.

Oh, hello.

I was looking for a job.

Yeah, you know, I'm a trombone player.

And my name is Glenn Miller.

- Yes?
- Junior.

Okay, that's enough, come with us!

Come on! Come on!

[Rizzo] Hmm, Rossim diamond mine.

In Okanandia.

That's where the game park is.

Guess I'll accept that invitation.

No, Mr. Smollet isn't here.

But Mr. Smollet's
butler said they're flying

to Okihanja Game Park with his guests.

They already left two hours ago.

May I rent a plane?

That way I could fly there and meet them.

I'm sorry sir.

Those planes all belong to Mr. Smollet.

(phone ringing)
Excuse me.

Hello?

No, Mr. Smollet didn't go to
the game park in Okihanja.

He's gone to Cape Town on...

Business!

Hey, where you going? Come back here!

You can't take that plane!

Hey!

Boss, what do you think you're doing?

Come back!

You must be crazy!

I'll call the police!

Kiru.

Hey, what are you doing here?

Come and sit up here.

Why did you do this, Bodo?

Because I want to be with you.

Okay, okay.

Now I know why the bag was so heavy, huh?

Thank you.

We're going to join Daddy?

Let's hope not yet.

Why didn't you stay with Caputo?

He's not strong like you.

He's no god, he's always afraid.

Are you afraid?

Not if you know how to fly.

Once I was a pilot.

Let's hope that I still know how, huh?

Let's see.

Okay, Kiru.

Okay.

(trumpeting)

♫ If you're watching a bird fly

♫ You don't know where you go

♫ Catch your freedom anywhere

♫ And you'll see him so free there

♫ In the sky full of gold

♫ Catch your freedom anywhere

♫ If you're watching a tiger
and he's like one big cat

♫ Catch your freedom anywhere

♫ You know that you'll never catch him

♫ Just to change his way of life

♫ Freedom is life and
it's why we are living

♫ Freedom is something you must never lose

(laughing)

You liked that, huh?

♫ Freedom is just what you
need, what you need anyway

♫ Freedom is life and
it's why we are living

♫ Freedom is something you must never lose

♫ Freedom is wandering
about when it's raining

♫ Freedom is just what you
need, what you need anyway

♫ If they tell you you're crazy

♫ Just don't listen, don't mind

♫ Catch your freedom anywhere

♫ You won't need enemies,
then they will all stay behind

♫ Catch your freedom anywhere

♫ You'll be free as a
blackbird and you fly far away

♫ Catch your freedom anywhere

♫ You'll be proud as a tiger

♫ And you'll never change your way

♫ Freedom is life and
it's why we are living

♫ Freedom is something you must never lose

♫ Freedom is wandering
about when it's raining

(screaming)

Captain!

Look what you made me do
with those stunts of yours!

What are you, the Red Baron?

Come on, Bodo.

[Caputo] Bodo! What are you doing here?

Here, what's this,
some kind of outhouse?

Get dressed!

It's not what you think,
I'm just cooling off,

and it's all your fault.

(speaking in foreign language)

Come here, you!

You even learned Neopolitan, huh?

You should be ashamed!

And so should you,
you're always running off.

I didn't sleep all night looking for you!

Now don't you move from here, you hear me?

Or you'll be in deep
trouble, now don't move!

Wait for me.

You drive me crazy.

[Margy] Mr. Rizzo!

Oh, good morning.

Oh, you're really an
extraordinary man, Mr. Rizzo!

I was hoping to see you at the game park.

But I never thought you'd be

putting down like this from the sky!

I heard the fishing
here was better here.

Oh, but we're not
fishing, we're hunting!

You'll have a marvelous
stay, just wait and see.

Am I to believe that
you're here because of me?

Why not, are animals more interesting?

(laughing)

I'd better go and fix you a drink.

Something strong.

Strong, like you.

Captain!

Captain!

Yeah?

May I have a word with you?

You didn't come here
for the hunting, right?

No, I'm crazy about hunting.

Especially because I'm on the right trail.

Yeah, but you only enjoy it

if you're the ones doing
the hunting, right?

That's right, of course.

[Caputo] Don't look for
trouble here Inspector.

These are just rich people
out for a good time.

[Rizzo] That's where you're wrong.

Then please don't get me involved.

I don't like hunting and
I don't like being hunted.

See ya Captain.

And you always eating,

if you keep on like this you'll explode!

I'll become big like Kiru!

Say, who is this Kiru?

Ah, Kiru, he's the god of the mountains.

To him you're a god.

But a god of trouble, what a god!

And now you're all dirty,
what are you doing?

Hey!

Where is the owner?

He's not here.

Ask that lady, she'll know.

Thanks.

Excuse me madame, I've just
come from another reserve.

I'm afraid our thermos is broken.

Could you offer us something to drink?

Of course, whatever you want!

Just help yourself at the
bar, right over there.

We've got plenty of everything!

But not any of that wonderful

Italian wine of yours, Mr. Rizzo.

Oh by the way, use my
car if you wish to hunt.

Oh thanks, excuse me.

Bodo, get down from there.

That's Kiru's car.

Yeah, Kiru's car.

Here Caputo, take the boy, he's all dirty.

Ah, you're Italian.

No, Neapolitan.

I'm Greek and German.

My name is Spiros.

My name is Rizzo.

You enjoying yourself here?

I don't know yet.

I would say that you are.

As for me, I delude
myself that I can make up

for months of sitting on my
job with one day's vacation.

And where do you do this sitting?

In front of heaps of diamonds,

in a tightly guards room at Rossim mines.

It's hard evaluating diamonds for others.

Well anyway, it's my job.

Have some of of this?

No thank you.

(people shouting)

Will you excuse me?

Of course.

It's marvelous!

Look at its horn!

It's so big.

My God.

Your driver's waiting for you up there,

to the left of the pool.

Thanks.

Is everything in order?

Yes it is, sir.

Watch out now.

Don't make any mistakes.

It's fatal to make a mistake, sir.

Let me see.

Wait!

What kind of snakes are they?

Many snakes, but they
take less than that to kill.

You know which is cheap?

Yes.

Oh Mr. Rizzo?

Yes.

If you wanna have
some fun, come with me.

I know a place where
there's lots of guests.

Sounds good.

You have a Jeep?

Yes.

That one there.

Good, follow me.

Okay.

Caputo!

Yeah?

I'm going hunting.

Keep an eye on Bodo, huh?

Bodo?

Yeah, Bodo, sure Captain.

Bodo! Bodo!

Disappeared again.

Bodo! Bodo!

Bodo!

Bodo!

Bodo!

Bodo!

Bodo!

Bodo, where are you?

(growling)

I'll take care of you, snake!

[Bodo] Kiru!

What are you doing here?

Hello Kiru.

I want to stay with you.

You can protect me.

Who's gonna protect me?

Where are the snakes?

Snakes don't think,
little boys have to eat.

Don't tell me you ate the snakes.

Ah, snakes no good to eat.

But they are good to sell to witch doctor.

Here.

No thank you.

But I appreciate the thought.

Come on, sit up front.

Okay, Kiru.

Please, don't call me Kiru.

Okay, Kiru!

(chuckling)

That guy cut my brake line!

Hold on, Bodo!

(crashing)

You okay, boy?

Yes, but I'm hungry.

All right, get out.

Here, let me help you.

(growling)

That trap was set for me.

Come on.

We'll set a trap of our own.

Stay here.

(growling)

Help, help!

You see? (Chuckling)

Oh Mr. Rizzo, help me!

Quickly, hurry!

Help me, please!

(whimpering)

Thank you.

What impression did you have seeing me?

Huh?

I don't understand you.

I mean it must be strange
seeing me upside down,

don't you think?

Yeah.

It was a terrible experience, my friend.

Bodo where have you been?

I've been looking all over for you.

Come on, get down from there, come on now.

Come on, come along.

I'll give you a snack.

No, no!

I want to stay with Kiru!

Well, the hunt's over

and we're all leaving for Swakopmund.

Just think, three million kilometers,

maybe less, of desert
right next to to the ocean.

A marvelous place.

Clyde owns a villa there,
naturally you're our guest.

Bye bye!

Swakopmund, huh?

Yes.

The Rossim diamond mines
are there I told you about.

If you decide to go, we can
celebrate my being saved

and the beginning of our
friendship with a superb dinner.

I'd like nothing better.

Okay.

Come and pick me up at Rossim mines.

I'll leave you a pass.

Should be interesting.

Inspector, I don't understand you.

That guy tried to kill you
and you let him go free.

Ah, Spiros is a small fish,

but he might bring us to the big one.

By the way, as soon as
we put down in this town,

I want you and the boy to
hole up a couple of days.

Yeah, and Smollet'll discharge me.

Smollet's a friend, I'll speak with him.

Besides, what'll I do for
two days in a hotel room?

You'll wait for my orders.

You're still a policeman, you know that.

What do you mean policeman?

I'm a gentleman's gentleman now!

Ah Capu, to me you're always
a cop and you'll die one.

Hey, mamma mia, don't tell
me that in an airplane, gee!

[Rizzo] Look Bodo.

That ship was wrecked years
ago and the sands covered it.

It's a ghost ship now.

[Caputo] Oh San
Gennaro, even ghost ships!

What a place.

Bye, thanks.

There's the hotel, Capu.

Go there and don't move until I tell you.

- Si.
- Ciao, Bodo.

Come on.

Ah, so you wanna carry the bag, okay.

To the Rossim mines, let's go.

I want to stay with Kiru!

You're going to stay with
me and be good, understand?

What a life!

(laughing)

I hate to tell you kid,
but she's laughing at you.

Three flat tires!

Three flat tires!

It never happened before,
maybe it's your weight sir.

It's only a four passenger car.

Hey, look here.

If I weighed less, how many
flats would you have, two?

You've only got one
spare, so it's the same.

Say, could you give me a lift?

I'm going to the Rossim
diamond mine, and you?

Yeah, get in.

(bright music)

Hey, thanks for the ride.

My name is Rizzo, I've
come to see Mr. Spiros.

Just a minute sir, I'll have to check.

Okay Mr. Rizzo.

Let him in.

(dog barking)

Sorry, you can't stand here.

The third shift will be coming
by soon to be checked out.

Hello.

Ciao.

Happy to see you, Mr. Rizzo.

And I'm happy to see you, Mr. Spiros.

Excuse me, but you need one of these.

Without it, I can't move about the plant.

There.

Come over here.

Look at this.

See those blinking lights?

Nobody here can take a step
without being under control.

Go ahead.

And this is Ali Baba's cave.

(Rizzo speaking in foreign language)

Hmm?

Oh, it's a Neopolitan expression.

I come here four or five times a year

to evaluate the diamonds.

I work with other mines in South Africa,

but Rossim is one of the best.

And well-guarded, too.

Ah, there have been
several robberies in the area

in the past few years, sir.

That's why security's been tightened.

My I consult that new
data you received, please?

Yes, of course.

Ah, here.

I see your interest
is not only in diamonds.

Ah yes, I like wrestling a lot.

It's my favorite sport.

As a spectator, of course.

Of course.

(cheering)

It's better to wait until he's alone.

I knew Black Cat would lose!

I'll go and collect my money.

I'll be right back.

But it's still the shank
of the evening, Desmond!

But I have to get up early, darling.

(crashing)

All right, get up.

Hey you!

I'm sorry, but I didn't know.

It's not written across
your face that you're a cop.

What are you doing in South Africa?

What's your occupation?

I'm a tourist.

Tourist.

Assault and battery.

Resistance and outrage
to a police officer.

Damages to public and private property.

I was the one who stepped
on the flower bed, too.

I don't like you, Rizzo!

The law offers you two possibilities.

5,000 rand bail, or jail.

Jail, jail.

Pleased to hear that.

Jail it is then.

Oh, say. (Chuckling)

About your eye.

My grandmother always used chamomile tea.

Never fails.

Take him away!

Let's go.

Hey, just trying to be helpful.

Open up.

Open up!

I've got something to tell you.

It also concerns the little boy with you.

You know you're being watched.

I know who you're working with.

Get out of here quickly.

One more day may be
very dangerous for you.

I hope you got the message,
there won't be another one.

Hear that?

Don't make a sound.
(shushing)

We've gotta find a way

to get out of here without being seen!

I'm sorry ma'am, but
you can't park here.

I'm sure you say that to
all the girls who park here.

But this is a police station.

Well can't you move it a bit?

[Officer] Look lady,
you can't park here.

[Margy] Oh, here comes
my friend now, I'm going.

Mr. Rizzo! Here I am!

Get in.

Happy to see you.

Thank heaven that you came out quickly.

My cop friend was about to
move the whole station for me

so that I might park here.

Come on, hop in.

I've got something to do.

Like what?

Hit the Minister of the
Interior on the nose?

You know what happened then?

Everything.

So I thought of bailing you out.

It would have been much
more fun helping you escape.

You know, a nice little ladder
done out of my stockings.

Yes, but I didn't need a ladder,

because my cell was on the ground floor.

So you don't wanna come with me?

Uh uh.

At least try to stay
out of trouble, okay?

I will.

Thanks.

Ciao!

Now suppose you start
leveling with me, huh?

First you try with the snakes,

then to add some more fun,

you had the brakes in the Jeep cut.

And then I was supposed to be a snack

for the big cat in the pit.

I don't mind a joke,

but after all I saved your life, didn't I?

Yeah, I saved your life,
and what do you do?

Try to get those wrestling
clowns to do me in.

Huh?

What gratitude.

What are you want to do?

To kill you.

No.

But I have a better idea.

An idea to make money.

I know what you are.

You're a cop!

There are two kinds of cops.

Those who are satisfied
with what they have,

and we others.

I've already covered up a
lot of your stupid mistakes.

I could have busted you
in Naples if I wanted to.

Santa Lucia Hotel.

You leave a track behind
just like a snail.

(tense music)

How much do you want?

A lot.

All the diamonds I've seen in my life

are only on shop windows
and on certain women.

Now I want some in my pocket.

Why, you're crazy.

You saw the security system
at Rossim diamonds yourself.

It's impossible to even take a pin out.

I have been a cop for 15 years.

I think like a cop, not like a criminal.

With you inside there,
I've got a sure method.

Half and half.

Half and half?

How do you think you'll do it?

I got the idea this morning in jail.

[Bodo] It it safe, Capu?

Don't worry about it,

because the way I'm
disguised, who will know us?

Erm.

Shh.

Good morning Mr. Caputo.

You calling me Caputo?

Yes.

(grunting)

You see, what did I tell you?

What does he know about women?

Good morning.

Morning.

Who are they?

I don't know, but the girl's cute.

Anyway, what do you care,
you're just along for the ride.

Hang on.

Ah, Caputo.

Huh?

I say we should go see Kiru.

We're not going to Kiru,
we're going to the police.

I don't want the responsibility for you.

Oh Santa Lucia, but you weight a lot.

Don't wiggle so, you get heavier.

Ah, that's better.

You see, you seem lighter already.

Hey, Kiru!

Kiru, wait for me!

Kiru!

Well I've had enough for today.

This is the third trip we've made to town.

Let's hope its quite at the mine.

Right.

Hey look, there's a wreck over there.

Yeah we'd better stop
or that guy will wreck us.

He's still breathing!

Yeah, he's very much alive.

Okay, hold it.

You won't get hurt if
you do as you're told.

Okay, stand over there, we've
gotta get this car righted.

(laughing)

What is along?

The guys was dead on arrival,
we had to fill out a report.

Don't tell me you're
gonna inspect us again.

That's it.

You know the rules.

Look in the back.

(cat screeches)

(dog barking)

Stop boy, stop!

Hey, how about it?

Is it all right?

Can we go in now Sarge?

Yeah, go ahead.

All right, open up.

Oh Mr. Spiros.

Yes?

What could the position
of these three examples be

in the canuck scale of hardness?

7500 or 7800.

It's quite beautiful.

Beautiful, but fragile.

Thank you sir.

(blasting)

(sirens blaring)

What was that?

Those were explosions.

(gasping)

What's wrong, Mr. Spiros?

What is it, are you
feeling ill, Mr. Spiros?

Easy sir.

Where's the pain, in your chest?

Call the main office.

And an ambulance, quickly!

It's my heart.

(groaning)

(alarm ringing)

(dogs barking)

Hello infirmary, this
is operation center.

Send an ambulance to the
main vault evaluating room,

it's an emergency.

Hurry, he's having a heart attack!

Let's go.

You're looking at more
than four million dollars.

Well, where do we go?

You're not going anywhere.

Stop here.

Hey, what's this all about?

You're finished Rizzo, that's what.

Okay.

You wanted to arrest us Flatfoot, eh?

But it didn't work out.

What are you talking about?

You sent your friend to warn the police.

But we got him in time, naturally.

I don't know anything about this.

What about the kid?

You and your Italian
friend are enough for me.

Spiros!

The cops are coming!

You set up this trap,
you double-crosser!

Ah shut up.

I'll take care of losing the cops.

Mighty wild to have him followed.

Yes, but in my opinion

it was a mistake to let him out on bail.

Well there won't be any bail next time.

This is car one, we're following him.

He's turning!

(bright music)

Don't shoot at him!

I want him alive.

Where did he ever
learn to drive like that?

Go faster, can't you!

I'm flat out, sir.

(crashing)

What are you doing?

Why did you stop here?

Get moving!

Shut up, shut up!

There he is, run him down!

You okay, sir?

Of course I'm okay.

You won't get away with this Rizzo,

I'll get you yet!

Are you convinced now?

If it wasn't for me you'd all be in jail!

You lose your head too easily, Spiros.

And no 50-50, I want
Caputo freed, and fast!

Take me to your boss.

I don't wanna talk with
you, I wanna deal with him.

Now where is he?

I'll take you to the boss all right.

But dead.

And this ambulance will be
a perfect funeral hearse.

We have no further use for you.

What do you have in your brain, sawdust?

Let go of that!
(gun firing)

(screaming)

Hurry!

After him you fools!

(gun firing)

Where'd he go?

He's vanished!

Back to the ambulance, come on!

Well, I think we've lost him this time.

I'll find him if he went
to the South Pole, Sergeant.

Okay Captain.

Come on, push harder!

(loud honking)

Thanks for stopping!

I had to.

Didn't want the train to get derailed.

(chuckling)

Yeah, the tracks stop here.

Must be it. We lost him.

I agree with you.

Dammit, a bloody ambulance
doesn't just disappear like that.

Incredible.

Hey, come here!

Look at these.

Those are diamonds, you know that?

My God, there are more of them.

That's the most expensive
road sign I've ever seen.

(growling)

I wanna see Mr. Smollet.

I'm a friend of his.

He's inside.

Follow me.

Well I must say, that
was a very successful hunt.

We should be able to
fill all our commitments.

Have you checked the cages?

They're all in order.

Uh huh.

When can we start shipping?

Let's see.

The animals begin their
quarantine period today.

I'd say about the 15th of next month.

Ah, good.

This way, sir.

Ah, Mr. Rizzo, you're here.

I was beginning to feel so bored.

And I'm just starting to enjoy myself.

Ah, Mr. Rizzo, what a
pleasure to see you again.

Come, we must have a drink.

Why not.

I thought you'd left
without saying goodbye.

I couldn't leave without thanking you

for the favor you did me.

What favor?

My bail.

Miss Connors paid it with
your money, didn't she?

Ah, that's nothing.

Don't even mention it.

What else can I do for you?

Free Caputo.

(dramatic music)

Caputo?

Yes, what's happened to him?

We haven't seen him for two or three days.

Ask your friend.

He knows everything.

What are you talking about, everything?

Like all Neapolitans,

you're letting your
imagination run away with you.

Am I imagining him too?

Mr. Smollet!

That big ox got away from me.

It's not true, here I am.

What in God's name are you doing here?

He came to bring you the diamonds.

To me?

All right, that's enough.

Cover him.

Rick, come here.

I suspected you since
the day of the party.

You were the one who
tried to have me killed.

And that jackass next to
you killed Dimpo in Naples,

in front of one of your animal
cages, your name was on it.

I found it written on the cage.

So you wanna see Caputo, eh?

Take him to him.

Go on!

Spiros, not you.

You still have to explain how and why

that big rhinoceros is still alive.

Got him this time, huh?

Sure have.

(growling)

(screeching)

Get in.

Let's go.

Caputo.

Caputo, you in here?

Have you seen Caputo?

At your orders, Captain.

Well I never...

Who are you supposed to be, Aunt Jemima?

Take those curtains off, will you?

And where's Bodo?

Oh Bodo, who knows.

He took off.

And I gave you credit
for having some brains!

More than four million
dollars worth of diamonds

and they disappear just like
that, right under your nose!

But he got out from the
front of the ambulance.

Before that he never moved from there,

how could he have done it?

I don't know how he
did it, but he did it!

And we've gotta get 'em back.

Can't move it?

Not even you?

Then we're finished, finished!

Hey.

Listen Rizzo, you've got
one chance to save yourself.

Tell me where the diamonds are.

Hey, what diamonds?

I'll give you 10
minutes to produce them,

otherwise my lions will have a nice meal.

But what have I got to do with it?

- Do you hear them?
- (growling)

Oh mamma mia.

Well go ahead and give
him his diamonds back.

We don't wanna be eaten up.

Capu, I don't have them.

Oh mamma mia, mamma mia.

But who's gonna feed the
lions you don't have?

Let's go.

(growling)
But don't roar like that.

We don't even have any diamonds.

We don't even have some
rhinestones, nothing!

All right, show me
where they were hidden.

They were under the
stretcher in a plastic bag.

And to think I'd end up
like this in my old age.

We've gotta think if something.

Think of something fast.

There must be something we can do.

I've got an idea.

You do?

Yeah what?

I'm listening.

There's only one
person who could save us.

Then bring him Inspector, where is he?

San Gennaro.

Ah, San Gennaro.

Poor guy can do a lot of things in Napoli.

In Africa, he's afraid of the plane ride.

San Gennaro.

San Gennaro, just one miracle,

save us, San Gennaro.

(sobbing)

Inspector!

What?

Look, San Gennaro, he's there!

I know it, look!

Look, he's answered my prayer,

he's in the form of a black child!

Caputo, that's not San
Gennaro, that's Bodo.

Bodo!

Kiru, they have put you
in big cage like lion,

but I have found key to cage, see?

(laughing)

Wow, good boy.

He saved us.

Now you get out, Kiru.

Yes, but go on, hide now, go on!

Inspector, what are we waiting for?

Two miracles in a row are
difficult even for San Gennaro.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Capu, calm down, calm down now.

Calm down?

Time's up Rizzo.

You made up your mind yet?

Yes I have.

[Smollet] All right,
where are the diamonds?

Ah, here we go again about the diamonds.

He's worse than a woman about it.

You want the diamonds?

Yes.

Well don't just stand
there, go and get some help!

Yes.

Al, Pete, come out here!

Paul, Harry, come on!

Fight, fight, Kiru!

Come on, let's get him!

(Bodo laughs)

(monkey screeching)

Hey.

Wake up, huh?

Come on, you.

(laughing)

Right on the head.

Bodo!

Bravo, Capu!

[Caputo] Bodo, there's a lion in here!

Oh no!

Help help, keep away
from me, he's ferocious.

Caputo!

Well it's feline.

We've kidded around long
enough, get the rifles!

Where are the rifles?

Where did you put them?

They were here, sir.

- Where?
- I don't know.

Well hurry up, don't just stand there,

find them you fools!

Come on Bodo, let's go.

Give me your hand.

Come on.

Take my hand.

Come on, don't make me pull you.

Oh banana, who's he?

Get those guns!

Come on, quickly.

Push them out of there.

Get them!

That's it!

Hit him, hit him!

Come on, after him!

(laughing)

It's no use, Rizzo.

You're finished.

But before we feed you to the animals,

we're going to cut you
up into little pieces.

Get him!

(shouting)

(punching)

We'll give him the final blow.

That'll finish him off.

Come on!

Hey, just in time, Captain.

He's a captain?

Hey that's swell, we'll show him!

Come on! Hey you, come here!

You did a good job at the mine.

You timed the explosions perfectly.

Take my system.

Yeah, I can see he's good.

He's a good salesman too.

Newspapers and children's candy.

Take that, that!

Stay down, you!

Here's another one, sir.

[Caputo] Send me another one, Inspector.

I'll tear you apart, coward.

Rizzo!

Hands up.

Hands up!

(chuckling)

You're a smart parrot.

I'm a crow, if you don't mind.

(intense music)

Going somewhere, Smollet?

(laughing)

Ah, welcome Captain.

Better late than never.

Hands up, Rizzo.

The chase is over.

Don't worry Mr. Smollet,
we'll get you down right away.

I'll take care of this man.

He'll be locked up, either
in a prison or a madhouse.

[Muller] Calm down Desmond.

Would you come over here please?

Captain Muller.

What are you doing here?

What should I be, Desmond?

I can't imagine that this man

would interest the Secret Service.

That is Inspector Rizzo,
of the Italian police.

A police inspector?

Yes, and one of the best.

You never would have
guessed, right Desmond?

I couldn't have wished for a better ally.

But sir, he just robbed
the Rossim diamond mine.

Don't tell anybody, but I helped him.

The trap for these gentlemen
worked to perfection.

(chuckling)

Round them up, take them away.

All right, come on,
wake up you, on your feet.

Captain, they don't have the diamonds.

And neither do I.

I have them.

I found them on the road,
and they led me here.

[Rizzo] Just like
Hansel and Gretel, huh?

[Desmond] Yeah, that's right.

[Muller] Some pebbles.

[Desmond] I wonder if they're all here.

Anyway, we got what we were after.

We'll get them to talk,

find out how they shipped the narcotics.

You don't have to waste your time,

it won't be necessary.

I know already.

Look here.

Customs agents don't like
opening cages of wild animals,

and I can't say as I blame 'em.

Here we are.

Heroin, pure heroin.

The diamonds were to be used to buy this.

More profitable to exchange than money.

And with the excuse of furnishing zoos,

Smollet and Spiros sent
heroin all over the world.

Come on, let's go.

Drink, anybody?

Move, I said.

You too.

Come along.

But I didn't do at,
isn't that right Mr. Rizzo?

Mr. Rizzo, tell them I'm not a criminal.

Don't pull me like that, please!

Wait officer.

Move on.

She had nothing to do with this.

All she got was some bottles of champagne.

I'll vouch for her.

You're a darling.

Anyhow, you'd be too bored in prison.

Thank you.

Arrivederci!

Kiru.

And now you take me to daddy?

We have to have a man-to-man talk, Bodo.

Okay, let's talk.

Okay.

Here we are.

This is a nice place

where we can have a
man-to-man talk, all right?

Okay Kiru.

Okay, okay.

Let me look at you.

Well now, you wanna go to your daddy.

Uh huh.

Your daddy's gone to a
place very far from here.

He's gone there to join your mommy.

And the way they can be together forever.

And they're in a world which

is much better than the one we're in.

No Kiru, you my daddy, huh?

I wish I were.

Kiru much return to his
mountain house, yes.

A mountain high like this,

with a top that goes puff, puff, puff.

And one day when you're
big and strong like Kiru,

you'll come and see him.

But you must be courageous
like your father,

and then we can be together.

Good boy, come on.

(cars honking)

Here we are, pier 49.

The ship arrived last night, Inspector.

Caputo, how come since
you rejoined the force,

all you've thought about
is getting that heap back.

Heap?

Well that's a work of art.

That's craftsmanship, Inspector.

Look how pretty, it's my
youth, that's what it is.

Yeah, maybe you can give it to a museum.

What do you mean, give it to a museum?

Why that's my first automobile.

I have a great affection for it.

I just hope there are no parts missing.

Hey, put it down easy.

Bodo!

You got a spare part, Caputo!

A spare part?

How come a spare part?

Kiru!

Hey what's he doing in there?

[Bodo] Ciao!

(laughing)
Well he's a stowaway!

Yeah, in your hotrod at that.

Then we oughta arrest him.

And if we don't, where do we put him?

At my house, no.

But of course at your house,

and you and I will take care of him.

- You will.
- Won't we?

The way he eats, goodbye.

Caputo!

Yeah?

Hey Caputo, I was mistaken.

This boy will take care of us.

♫ If you're watching the bird fly

♫ You don't know where you will go

♫ Catch your freedom anywhere

♫ And you'll see him so free there

♫ In the sky full of gold

♫ Catch your freedom anywhere

♫ If you're watching a tiger

♫ And he's like one big cat

♫ Catch your freedom anywhere

♫ You know that you'll never catch him

♫ Just to change his way of life

♫ Freedom is life and
it's why we are living

♫ Freedom is something you must never lose

♫ Freedom is wandering
about when it's raining

♫ Freedom is just what you
need, what you need anyway

♫ Freedom is life and
it's why we are living

♫ Freedom is something you must never lose

♫ Freedom is wandering
about when it's raining

♫ Freedom is just what you
need, what you need anyway

♫ Catch your freedom anyway

♫ I don't mind, I'll fly anywhere

♫ Catch your freedom anyway

♫ I don't mind, I'll fly anywhere

♫ If they tell you you're crazy

♫ Just don't listen, don't mind

♫ Catch your freedom anywhere

♫ You won't need enemies

♫ Then they will all stay behind

♫ Catch your freedom anywhere

♫ You'll be free as a
blackbird and you fly far away

♫ Catch your freedom anywhere

♫ You'll be proud as a tiger

♫ And you'll never change your way

♫ Freedom is life and
it's why we are living

♫ Freedom is something you must never lose

♫ Freedom is wandering
about when it's raining

♫ Freedom is just what you
need, what you need anyway