Original subtitles

- [Niko] Previously on Niko and the Sword of Light.

- There she blows. - I see it.

- One star flies in the sky whale high.

Just like in the rhyme.

- [Mandok] That map piece is probably deeper inside.

(yelling)

Niko, the map.

- It's a puzzle.

Two stars sleep in the tower keep.

We need to find a tower

if we want any chance of stopping Nar Est.

(laughing)

- Awaken dark champion.

(dramatic music)

- I am Niko, and this is my sword of light.

I am here to protect my people and defeat the darkness,

forever.

(dramatic music)

(lightening noises)

- Hold on, it's about to get rough.

- About to?

Oh, crystal berries.

This is it, we're going down.

(yelling)

- Could we just have one easy day on this quest?

Two stars sleep in the tower keep.

The second map piece is in a tower keep,

but 15 towers later and we have nothing.

- I share your disappoint.

It is much like saving a nectarune for yourself,

but then having it eaten by someone else.

- Niko, finding the map pieces

so we can get to the Forgotten Fortress

before Nar Est is important.

Me accidentally eating your nectarune,

which I didn't know you were saving,

but apologized for anyway, is not.

- Your reasonable explanation will not work on me now.

For I am hungry.

(stomach growling)

(yelling)

(thunder crashes)

- Nuts and bolts.

The rudder's been hit by lightening.

I have to go out and fix it.

- You're the pilot.

We need you behind the controls.

Niko and I will do it.

Niko? Niko?

- Stay inside.

I will repair it.

- Aw, havoc.

- Strap on a glider belt.

If you fall, it will gently float you to safety.

Theoretically.

- Lyra, so good to see you.

Did you bring the nectarune you owe me?

- You're impossible.

Strap this on, and try to stick together.

- The tower.

Excellent.

- Not excellent.

With this broken rudder, we're gonna crash right into it.

Pull.

(grunting)

(yelling)

That got it.

- Oh, what's this for?

Huh? Lyra!

- Niko!

(yelling)

(thunder crashes)

(grunting)

Niko?

(clicking)

(gasps)

- (groans) Lyra?

(chirping)

- Oh, I had the worst nightmare.

Huge storm, we crashed, lost Lyra and Niko.

Crazy huh?

- I'm afraid all that happened.

You've been out cold ever since.

- It did? I was?

What are we doing here? We have to find them.

- And we will as soon as I get the ship running.

(sighs)

(chimes)

(yelling)

- Master Mandock.

We must speak with Queen Lyra at once.

- Oh, I'm having trouble hearing you. (makes static noises)

- Stop your foolishness.

Where is the queen?

- We kind of lost her. And Niko.

(laughing)

- Yes, just a little longer

and my new spell casting crystal will be forged.

What is that confounded racket?

- Ruspa and-- - Yeah?

- Must you do that while I'm working?

(caws)

Although the evil goatee is a nice touch.

- [Woman's Voice] I knew this was a bad idea.

If we don't find them, there will be grave consequences.

- Aah! It's the darkness.

It knows your plan.

- Quiet, bird brain.

It's not the darkness.

This crystal must be picking up the frequency

from a nearby optilocuter.

- [Sargas] Do you know where they are?

- Sargas the useless fool.

- [Mandock] The coordinates on my chart

put us in the Grapular region just south of the tower.

We'll likely find Niko and Lyra there.

- Not far.

Maybe they're hunting us.

- [Mandock] Well with any luck,

we'll have the complete map to the Forgotten Fortress

before Nar Est can even get there,

and won't he be in for a big surprise then.

- [Woman's Voice] Find the queen immediately.

- So that's where the amulet of power is hidden.

The Forgotten Fortress.

Funny I don't recall hearing the name,

but no matter, dark champion.

(growling)

I have a mission for you.

Rasper is going to lead you to a map.

- I am?

- You are to retrieve this map for me,

and while you're at it,

pound that half sized champion into dust.

(growls)

Niko, the brat who ruined our lives.

- Niko.

- Yes, yes very good.

Destroy! Oh, and don't forget the map.

(growls)

- Keep an eye on him.

I think he may actually have twigs for brains.

- Oh yeah.

Puzzah. Sha.

Hail Brohilda, your supreme broness.

(grunting)

- Report away, Broseph.

- Nothing tasty.

We haven't found this Queen Lyra he mentioned,

if she even exists.

- Yeah he keeps throwing down lame tales

about falling from a flying machine.

Gots to be a Thespadorian spy yo.

- Aah!

(gasps)

- The question is, Brohan,

where would those super weak lamoids

get someone who could rock a sweet mohawk like that?

- I am no spy.

If you let me down, I shall prove myself.

Oh, you have bread melons.

- So, you like bread melons, huh?

- I do not merely like bread melons, your supreme broness.

I love bread melons!

Oof!

- Prove it.

(chewing)

(burping)

There's no way you're a spy,

'cause that was totally awesome!

(cheering)

- Tell me, Brohilda,

who are these evil lameoids you speak of?

I worry my friend Lyra may be in danger

if they have found her.

- Your majesty, I am most terribly sorry

for the interrogation.

More tea?

- A thousand apologies.

- It's okay.

(grunting)

This army you're fighting sounds horrible,

but I must find Niko.

Who knows what they're doing to him

if he's been captured.

- Woe to us tormented by the slings

and herald bread melons of cretins,

but we Thespadorians will prevail, or my name isn't

Maestro Olivier Falstaff Scenechuer the third.

- Maybe we can help each other.

Tell me about your war, Maestro.

- So like, a thousand zillion years ago,

it all starts with this totally rad tower

appearing from out of nowhere.

One day, nothing. Next day, boom! Tower!

- So of course, we Thespadorians claimed the mysterious tower,

for there is drama in mystery,

and who better than we to guard it?

Do try the sweet cumber juice.

Tis divine.

- Mmm. Delightful.

- Then those dweebs say the tower is their's.

We said sha.

Na uh, tower's our's, lame wads.

- It sounds like you were well within your rights.

Am I now blasting my lats?

- You sure are little bro.

- And for thousands of years, it's ever been thus.

The entire matter is so very draining.

- Why don't you stop, then?

- And let those uppity gas bags win?

No way, no how.

- Brohilda, I believe your tower is the tower

Lyra and I have been seeking.

May we please go inside.

(crashing) - No one goes in the tower.

- No one goes in the tower.

- But why?

- Why?

- That's how we roll.

- It tis what it is.

- I thank you for your kindness.

Bread melons and crushing of abs,

but I must find my friend.

- It's danger to the max out there, bro.

We're coming with.

Those Thespadorians are totally evil.

(whistling)

(cheering)

(crashing)

- Onwe, what say you?

- I bring news from the ramparts, Maestro.

Like a loathsome plague, the enemy is on the move.

- We cannot let you face the Brovinian menace alone

in the quest to find your friend.

Let us raise the curtain and venture forth as one.

(drumming)

- Two stars sleep.

- In the tower keep.

- Lyra!

- Niko!

Oh! We came looking for you.

- And we for you.

Good that we are both found.

Now come away quickly.

We shall protect you from these lame but savage beasts.

- No you come with us away from those dangerous Brovinians.

- But those are the snapafied thespadofuses

that have caused the noble Brovinians anguish and woe.

- No, see, if the Brovinians weren't such meat heads,

this dispute could be over in a minute.

- But if your friends were not such borasants

who bigify words for no reason,

this dispute would already be over.

(cheering)

- Broseph call the doctor

because someone just got burned.

- Do you see how unreasonable they are your highness?

- I'm beginning to.

- And I also see.

First you eat a nectarune I clearly saved,

and now you side with the enemy of my brotastic new friends.

-Ugh. Niko, now you're being unreasonable.

Again.

- This is getting us nowhere, Seachewer.

Let's settle this the tried and true way.

Battle!

- [All] Battle, battle.

- Challenge accepted Brohilda.

In two minutes hence, we battle.

- Oh havoc. What have we done?

- Good to see you two.

And pertaining to your previous question,

it appears you just incited a war.

- Oh no, no, no this is bad.

Niko we really messed up.

- We have been so foolish,

and let our own arguing provoke them.

We must stop this.

- [All chanting] Battle, battle, battle, battle.

(trumpeting)

- It might be a little late for that.

May I suggest running away now?

(grunting)

[All] Ha, ha, ha!

- Please, just listen to me.

I'm sure we can work this out.

(dramatic music)

- [Both] Huh?

- Uh, what's going on here?

♪ Loading and locking, our biceps are rocking ♪

♪ Step right up bro or your heads will be knocked in ♪

♪ Since we break the metal for all time readiness ♪

♪ Win this tower the spike of fightingness ♪

♪ This tower is our sacred birth right ♪

♪ To not let us name it is very impolite ♪

♪ Plus your sobriquet's absurd ♪

♪ As fightingness is not even a word ♪

♪ Word ♪

- This is a very strange battle.

- They're singing. Why are they singing?

♪ The Fort of Contention is the tower's correct name ♪

♪ For which it has gained undeniable fame ♪

♪ We think you're wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong ♪

♪ Wrong, wrong, wrong ♪

♪ We think you're wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong ♪

- Are they fighting over the name of the tower? - I believe so.

- You know what, you guys deal this hot mess while I check the tower.

♪ We think you're wrong ♪

- I didn't think there could be any bigger waste of time

than our argument,

but it looks like I was wrong, wrong, wrong.

- We must put our dispute behind us and work together

so we may help them with theirs.

- Hold on a second. Listen to me.

I have something important to tell you.

Why won't they listen?

- Perhaps you need to sing what you'd like to say.

- Oh, I'm not good at singing.

- Try, Lyra. Stopping them from fighting

is also the only way to get inside the tower.

♪ We think you're wrong ♪

♪ Listen tight ♪

♪ You shouldn't fight ♪

♪ On you both it's been a blight ♪

♪ To disagree for a name is kind of trite ♪

♪ Wrong, we think you're wrong ♪

♪ We think you're wrong ♪

♪ We think you're ♪

- Again, Lyra, I shall accompany you

on the harpsichord of light for maximum effect.

♪ You've been fighting for far too long ♪

♪ Look how well you sing this pretty great song ♪

♪ Stop your selves from being cruel ♪

♪ And a solution I'm confident you can... ♪

- Rule!

- Can't do that, bro.

This is all we know.

- Anguish and woe.

♪ How about you smile ♪

♪ Smile more instead of glower ♪

♪ Turn your back on this, this tower ♪

♪ Of sour ♪

♪ I'd like to make peace, dear Brohilda ♪

♪ To get past our tower of sour ♪

♪ Perhaps you would concur ♪

♪ The perfect time to do so is right now ♪

♪ As an end to our dispute, that's sensible comendable ♪

♪ In fact we all think that is thoroughly acceptable ♪

♪ We've been all fighting many years, many hours ♪

♪ And what do we get ♪

♪ The tower of sour ♪

♪ Grow ♪

♪ Grow ♪

♪ Grow ♪

- So, can we go inside now?

- [Both] No one goes in the tower.

- Why not?

Are we not all friends now?

- They mean no one goes in the tower

because there's no door to the tower.

There's no actual way in.

- Sha! How didn't you get that?

- But if what you seek inside is of such import then,

in the spirit of our new peace and for dramatic imagery,

let us topple the tower.

(thundering)

- What was that?

(crashing)

(grunting)

-Ha ha! Show time.

(growling)

- New question.

What is that?

(growls)

- Perhaps it has come to help.

(yelling)

- How rude.

- That's like totally lame, bro.

Use your words.

(grunts)

- Get back. This thing is no friend.

(roars)

(chanting)

(yelling)

- Are you okay?

- Yes, I was not ready.

Darkness.

(roars)

You are filled with darkness.

I must cure you of your plague.

Darkness be gone.

You are filled with darkness.

Yet you could not be cured.

(both yelling)

- Niko, look! The light and dark.

It's breaking the tower.

- Then I shall do more of that.

(panting)

(roaring)

(yelling)

- That was unexpected.

- Dude.

- The second map piece.

Fly, Lyra, fly.

I can't do it.

- Don't worry your majesty.

The master of coin is on the case.

- I will defeat you, dark bro.

Ha.

- Let clay head do the bashing.

I'll take the prize. Caw!

(panting)

- Rasper. He's after the map.

(yelling)

Brohondle coming through!

Hello, beautiful.

(yelling)

Niko time to leave.

- Oh, boy.

Nar Est is not going to be happy about this.

- I saw that awful bird, Rasper, flying away.

This has to be Nar Est's doing.

- My power had no effect on that darkened beast.

I could not cure him.

- On the bright side, we did get this.

- Queen Lyra. Champion Niko.

Terrible foe that beast was, uniting our people against it

has further shown us how petty we have been.

- Talk about a giant time suck.

- Niko and I know the feeling.

(Niko yells)

Niko!

- Niko.

- Niko!

- Niko get up.

You have to get up.

(groaning)

Run!

(roars)

(dramatic music)

Chirp.