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1
00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:04,870
So you're her, are you?
You're the whore.
"Emily Jane Greenwood-Wallace".
2
00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:08,950
Well that's a gob-full, for someone
who only weighs 6lbs 3oz.
3
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:11,350
You can't call a baby that!
4
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:12,510
What've they called it?
5
00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:14,190
Calamity Jane.
6
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,990
I was so delighted when you told me
you'd booked this place.
7
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,270
And then you go and book
two separate rooms.
8
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:22,430
That bungalow we went to see
when I said we were just looking...
9
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,350
We've put in an offer.
10
00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:25,560
Maurice is dead.
11
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:31,310
Greg!
Kate!
12
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,110
- Have you slept together?
- No!
13
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,270
Are you dumping me?
14
00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:36,960
I don't think anything ever
really started, did it?
15
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,310
Will you marry me? Again?
16
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:43,360
Go on, then.
17
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,270
Yeah! Yes!
18
00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:00,150
Are you absolutely sure you need
all this stuff? Yes.
19
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:04,830
You'll only have it all to cart back
again at the end of term. And?
20
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:05,910
Are you nearly ready?
21
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,470
Yeah!
I've just got one more bag upstairs.
22
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:11,400
Nip round
and tell Granny William's going.
23
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,230
Have you had the divorce
papers in the post?
24
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,470
Yes. Have you signed them?
25
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,030
Yes.
26
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,150
Did you send them back
by registered post?
27
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:20,550
I sent them back.
28
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:21,710
By registered post?
29
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:24,430
It said specifically to return them
by registered post.
30
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,950
Oh for f...! I have saved you
thousands of pounds in lawyers' fees
31
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,670
by organising this online.
32
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,110
The very least you could do is...
33
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,240
Got it!
34
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:40,040
They're going!
Ey up, Alan! They're going!
35
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,390
Ring me when you get there.
36
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,950
Only if you want to, only if
you're not busy. Or drop me a text.
37
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,110
I'll ring you.
I wish I could come with you.
38
00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,080
You've got a school to run!
39
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:05,480
I am proud of you.
40
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:07,750
I'm proud of you.
41
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,270
WAY-HEY!
Finally, we get rid of him!
42
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,110
Why does he exist? Beano boy.
Yeah, special needs.
43
00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:14,350
Stop it.
44
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,950
The concert party's arrived!
Just in time!
45
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,390
How long does it take
to drive to Oxford?
46
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,070
Three or four hours, I would think.
47
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,990
Nah! Foot down, two-and-a-half.
48
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,070
Please drive properly.
49
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:27,470
Good luck, lad! Work hard.
Enjoy yourself.
50
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:28,720
Thanks, Grandad.
51
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,350
See ya, Gran.
52
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,750
Aww! Here, get your washing done
regularly.
53
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,510
Girls like boys with clean
underwear,
54
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,590
don't let anyone tell you different.
55
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,470
Do I get a twencer, Gran?
56
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,600
Yeah! When you get in at Oxford.
57
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,120
Bye! Bye!
58
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,310
I need a poo.
59
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,280
Ooh! That egg'll be boiling.
60
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:09,920
You all right, love?
61
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,870
Yeah.
62
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,670
I was, um...
63
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:17,920
Big day.
64
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,910
Me and Alan are off over
to Ripponden today.
65
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,030
We said we'd help out with the baby.
66
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,990
Still back and forth.
67
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,470
It's a shame that bungalow
fell through.
68
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,750
How're the wedding plans going?
69
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,270
Oh, we never seem to get any closer.
70
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:43,870
Why?
71
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:48,910
Well, for one reason, he's gone
and invited Ted. His brother.
72
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,390
I didn't know Alan had a brother.
73
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,950
Yeah. Ted.
He was two years above us.
74
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,710
Right.
75
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,670
So, what's wrong with Ted coming?
76
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,030
He's in New Zealand.
77
00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,150
He's got five kids and they're all
married
78
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,470
and they've got 13 grandchildren
between them,
79
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,390
and, God knows why, but,
80
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:11,350
because they've never met Alan,
they all want to come over.
81
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,640
Oh, gosh. So...?
82
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,790
Well, we weren't planning on having
that big a venue, really.
83
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,470
But now it's all become
a logistical nightmare.
84
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,070
How?
85
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,350
Oh, well, it has.
86
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,470
How?
87
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,400
One of them's a vegetarian.
88
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:32,590
Well, that's not insurmountable,
is it, as problems go?
89
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,230
Oh, it's all...
"where are they staying?"
90
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:38,430
and God knows what, and "will they
all get a flight at the same time?"
91
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,910
Right.
92
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:43,710
You see, this is why we just wanted
to do it all on the quiet.
93
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,200
Well, you did.
And then you decided to do this.
94
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,520
Have y'had any more inquiries?
95
00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,800
No, not this week.
96
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,950
She's done, can you take her?
I've not brushed my teeth.
97
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:26,470
I'm making you a sandwich.
98
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,800
Yeah, but she needs
to get her wind up.
99
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:33,630
Ugh! Have you not done her nappy?
100
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:34,750
Yeah. She hasn't...?
101
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:35,790
I think she has.
102
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,630
Is there any tea left in that pot?
103
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,390
Yeah, probably, if you squeeze it!
104
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,510
Mum, can you take Calamity?
She needs burping.
105
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,870
You're going to be late.
106
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:45,960
Yeah, I do know!
107
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,950
You don't want to be missing
the bus, not this morning.
108
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:54,910
I can't drive you, I'm taking hogs
to t'livestock mar...
109
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:56,670
Has she...?
110
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,000
Yeah, sorry.
111
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:03,240
Calamity, is there no end
to your shining wealth of talents?
112
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,670
Ey, Mum. What?
113
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:11,310
It's been a month. It's a month
today since Ellie moved in.
114
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,790
You said you'd make a decision.
115
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,670
Yeah.
116
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,040
So?
117
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:19,920
Yeah.
118
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,870
Yeah. As long Yvonne doesn't stop
slinging me the cash every week
119
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:25,950
for her housekeeping.
120
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,870
So you're happy.
121
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,630
Well, happy's pushing it, but, yeah.
122
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,710
As long as she keeps pulling
her weight. She will.
123
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,280
Is she happy? With everything?
124
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:40,080
She'd rather be here than
with her mother.
125
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,190
Oh, and we won't be in for us
teas tonight,
126
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,590
me, Ellie and Calamity.
127
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,040
Robbie's invited us down to his.
128
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,670
Cheryl's cooking.
129
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:56,000
Right. Is she?
130
00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,440
She's moving in with him,
apparently.
131
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:02,720
Right.
132
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,720
Sorry. Hello.
133
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,950
Beverley said
you might have a few minutes.
134
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,440
I can come back later.
No. No. Come in.
135
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,040
Sure.
136
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,400
OK. Well...
137
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,600
Amazingly, I'm pregnant.
138
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,880
It was 12 weeks on Saturday.
139
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,920
So... I'm cautiously starting to
think about the future.
140
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,680
And, what I'd like to do,
if nothing...
141
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,590
..is work up until next Easter.
142
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,950
Then, ideally, if it's possible,
143
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,790
if it's something you can
accommodate,
144
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,150
I'd like to come back part-time.
145
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,510
This time next year.
146
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,550
Autumn term.
147
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,550
Right.
148
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,310
How possible is that?
149
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,990
I know you've always been very good
in the past
150
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,830
with women who've left to
start families
151
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,040
and then wanted to go part-time.
152
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,110
You'll have to leave it with me.
153
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,470
If what you're really thinking is,
"You'll be lucky",
I'd rather you just said.
154
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,840
I hope you know me better than that.
155
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,960
I just need time to work out
the logistics, that's all.
156
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,120
Sorry.
157
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,520
OK.
158
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,520
Thank you.
159
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,550
Congratulations.
160
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,680
Thank you. Thanks.
161
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,190
You're too late, you've missed her!
Who?
162
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:55,230
Calamity! Harry's been
and fetched her. You all right?
163
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,990
Yeah! Very fair.
164
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,990
Hi, Celia.
Are you all right, love?
165
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,040
Not so bad.
166
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,110
Where is she?
167
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,030
With Harry.
He wants you to text him.
168
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,030
He's got summat
he wants to show you, he said,
169
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,430
down by t'wharf in Sowerby Bridge.
170
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,150
Is that where he's taken the baby?
Well, I'm assuming.
171
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:12,470
What's he wanting to show us?
172
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,910
I have no idea,
but he seemed very excited.
173
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,510
That's sounds ominous.
174
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:18,710
Down by t'wharf?
Yup.
175
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,870
What is there down at t'wharf?
176
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:25,310
Water? Ducks? Geese?
Industrial waste?
177
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:26,910
Are we setting straight off, then?
178
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,590
Make yourself a cup o' tea if you
want to. I've got to get to Otley.
179
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,470
I'll just use the bathroom,
if that's...
180
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:32,520
Right. OK.
181
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,670
Are you...? Keeping fit?
182
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:45,390
Yeah! Yeah, I think so.
183
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,630
Have you not got a date sorted yet?
184
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:48,910
Oh, have we buggery.
185
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:52,310
Only Ted Skyped again last night.
They're all itching to book flights.
186
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,480
It's her sister.
187
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,110
Has Celia got a sister?
188
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:59,430
Muriel. She were in t'year below us
at grammar school.
189
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:00,590
She lives in Sheffield.
190
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,430
So, what's up wi' Muriel?
191
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,870
Celia seems to have a very...
What?
192
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,070
..ambivalent relationship
with her.
193
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,750
Right. How come?
194
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,070
I've no idea. We don't go there.
195
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,230
Upshot is, she can't decide whether
she wants her at t'wedding or not.
196
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:17,670
Right.
197
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:20,110
Whereas I can't wait to
get on with it.
198
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,070
I know! I know.
199
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,510
Celia does seem to have quite...
200
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:28,950
complex relationships with people,
I've noticed.
201
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:32,400
I'll get to t'bottom of it.
Right. Good luck.
202
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:36,350
Oh, text Harry.
203
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:37,400
Oh, aye.
204
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,160
It's nice to see you.
205
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,760
Eh! Are you all right, love?
206
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,200
Me? Yeah! God, yeah!
207
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:51,320
Ta'ra! Ta'ra!
208
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,870
Be honest. Well, it's, eh...
209
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,670
I think you're crackers.
You haven't actually
sold your house?
210
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,710
No, but that's plan.
It's up for sale.
211
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:12,190
What, and you're going to live on
it, permanently? Through the winter?
212
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:16,510
It's grand and warm. There's
going to be a wood-burning stove,
213
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:22,510
telly, DVD, drinks cabinet,
satellite dish, cludgie.
214
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,200
Come and have a look. No!
215
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:31,440
Gordon said we can take it
for a spin down Cut. Yeah, come on.
Ooh, don't!
216
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:40,790
It were after Maurice died.
You have to seize the day.
217
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:44,030
It's something I've always fancied,
as far back as ever I can remember.
218
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,430
How do you go on opening locks
on your own?
219
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:50,190
Piece of piss, what you on about?
Hey, ladies present.
220
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,910
Oh, I've heard worse.
I meant baby.
221
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:56,190
He means when you get
even older, you dozy old sod.
222
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,990
How're you going to open locks when
you're juggling with a Zimmer frame?
223
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,160
Nay, I'll shoot me sen
before I get to that stage!
224
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,910
He'll sell his house, live on it
for two or three weeks
and then he'll get fed up.
225
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,590
He misses Maurice. Aw.
226
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:15,190
Is it just three of us for supper?
Yeah.
227
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:18,590
Where have Raff and Ellie taken
Calamity, then? Oh, just...
228
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:24,070
Robbie - Robbie's... He's got
this new girlfriend. Cheryl.
229
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,230
So - he works with her.
She's a copper.
230
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:30,110
She's blonde, gorgeous,
231
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,830
15 years younger than him, divorced.
232
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,800
Is he making a point? Yeah.
233
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,110
Of course he is.
He's always hated her up to now.
234
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:43,590
Gone on about how annoying
and dippy she is. So, yeah.
235
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:49,990
Men, transparent. What can you do?
Present company excepted, obviously.
236
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:56,190
Except Raff says she's
moving in with him. Apparently.
237
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,720
John's back with Judith.
238
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,150
I'm really not interested
in John, Celia.
239
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,870
Thanks. Really, really not.
240
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,120
Oh, no, I was just saying.
241
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:09,840
I mean, God knows why.
242
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,070
I honestly don't think
they can stand each other.
243
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,430
It's just a habit. A bad habit.
244
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,350
How's Caroline?
245
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,990
She's all right.
246
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,630
Oh, yeah!
247
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:24,270
Celia...tell me about your sister!
248
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,310
I didn't know you had a sister.
249
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:27,560
Oh...
250
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,310
Shame the wedding plans
have got bogged down cos of her.
251
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:36,550
Oh, it's not cos of our Muriel,
it's cos of Ted, isn't it?
252
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,630
About them not being able
to make their minds up
253
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,070
when they're coming over
254
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,030
and where they're all going to stay,
and...
255
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,550
No. No, I don't think so.
256
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:47,240
Ted's waiting for you to fix a date
so they can all book their flights.
257
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:49,790
Oh.
258
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,310
Well, I got the impression...
259
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:54,070
No, no, there's no problem there.
Is there? Dad?
260
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:58,470
Er...well, it'll be tricky for 'em
co-ordinating everything,
261
00:15:58,480 --> 00:15:59,870
but, erm...no.
262
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:03,950
No, I don't think the problem
is wi' our Ted, really.
263
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,590
Anyway, that's their problem.
264
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,150
You set a date, they turn up,
if they can.
265
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,430
I don't think they expect you
to organise it around them.
266
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,070
They don't. They absolutely don't.
267
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,440
They're not like that.
268
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,150
Have you heard from Will?
269
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,000
Yeah, he's fine. I got a text.
270
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,320
Can I go and live with my dad?
271
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,800
Why do you want to do that?
272
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,560
He's not...boring.
273
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:04,910
Sorry.
274
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,000
I really don't think
that's a good idea.
275
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,160
I'm sorry if you think I'm...
276
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,470
..not very exciting,
but I've seen Judith's flat.
277
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,870
You wouldn't want to live there,
278
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,270
you wouldn't want to spend
more than five minutes there.
279
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,990
Hello? Caroline? It's Gillian.
280
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,910
'Oh, hello.'
281
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,150
How are you?
282
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,990
Fine! Fine.
283
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,590
Good.
284
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,990
'Are you?' Yeah! Yeah.
285
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,670
I was ringing you...about
the wedding.
286
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,310
I'm just concerned.
287
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:52,070
I thought you might be able to throw
a bit of light on something. OK.
288
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,790
It all seems to have got
bogged down, somehow.
289
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,470
And...I think it's making me dad
a bit miserable.
290
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:03,070
Oh! I know. is it not to do
with...um...uh, Ted, his brother?
291
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,270
No. No, it isn't.
292
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:06,600
'That's what my mum said.'
293
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,110
She's using that as an excuse.
294
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,630
I did wonder.
295
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,830
I think it's to do with her sister.
Muriel?
296
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,950
Right. Right.
297
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,510
Ted's fine, honestly.
298
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,710
He's really easygoing,
he just wants to fit in.
299
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,310
Yeah - it's...
300
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,670
That wouldn't surprise me, Muriel.
301
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,430
Is she...difficult?
302
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,110
Auntie Muriel? No! God, no.
She's...
303
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:34,230
They're just chalk and cheese,
that's all. 'OK.'
304
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,110
Only if we could get to t'bottom
of whether she's coming or not,
305
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,950
they could move forward
with things, that's all.
306
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,270
Oh, she'll be coming.
I don't think she wouldn't come.
307
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,830
Well, pinning it down, then,
so they can set a date.
308
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:50,150
Could you ring her? Muriel?
Yeah, sure.
309
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,470
Find out what stage they're at
in their delicate negotiations,
310
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,030
cos I've got Ted and his lot
Skyping every five minutes
311
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,190
'wanting to know when they can book
their flights.
312
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,550
'Sooner they can book,
cheaper it'll be.'
313
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,670
Course. Of course. OK.
Leave it with me.
314
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,110
It's just...they're just...it's...
315
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:07,110
Complicated.
316
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:10,240
Yeah. Yeah.
317
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,190
Oh, hell! Orange again.
318
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,230
I hate sport and nature.
319
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,870
No, it's sport and leisure.
320
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,230
No, that's green.
321
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,350
No, that's science and nature.
322
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:25,360
Is it? Yeah. Oh, OK.
323
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,230
Sherlock Holmes.
The Beatles. Shakespeare.
324
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,310
Sorry? The answer.
325
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,310
But I haven't asked t'question yet.
326
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,230
No, I know,
but it will be one of them.
327
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,670
It always is, the answer.
328
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,960
Or Manchester United.
329
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,950
I've been thinking.
Oh, aye? What with?
330
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,550
Oh, you're so funny(!)
331
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:50,200
Why don't I... Why don't me and
Caroline organise the wedding?
332
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:53,310
Really? Yeah.
333
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,070
Only you seem to have got stuck
334
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,550
and I can't believe
you WANT to be stuck. So...
335
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:58,990
Well, I...
336
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,870
We'd run everything past you.
We wouldn't do anything you'd hate.
337
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,990
Have you spoken to her?
Just now, just this second.
338
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,310
Oh. Well...
339
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,510
Why don't we just check out
some venues for you, at least?
340
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,470
We'll suss a few out
and then you choose.
341
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,710
And we'll compile an invite list
342
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,640
and then you can...cross anyone out
that you don't really want.
343
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,910
Well...I don't know.
344
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,230
I suppose so, if you wanted to.
345
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,910
We would love to. I would love to.
346
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,350
Oh, who's this?
347
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,680
Muriel!
348
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:36,270
Hello!
349
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,080
Hello?
I've just put my foot right in it!
350
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:43,510
Have you? Why?
351
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,590
She didn't know -
Muriel didn't even know.
352
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,070
My mother hadn't even told her!
353
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,590
Wow. Wow. That's...
354
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:50,630
Alan Buttershaw!
355
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,470
That's...it's so perfect!
It's wonderful.
356
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,550
Gosh, you must be so happy.
357
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,470
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I am.
358
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,190
So when is it? The wedding?
359
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,030
Well, we've - we've...
360
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,990
Um...how did you know?
361
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,310
Caroline.
Caroline just rang, just now.
362
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:08,510
I am so deep in the doghouse,
363
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,270
it won't ever be worth
trying to get out.
364
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,310
It's not your fault.
365
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:12,350
Our Caroline?
366
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:15,670
You don't know what it's like.
Caroline, you didn't know.
367
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,430
Oh, damn! She's spoilt the surprise!
368
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:21,550
I was thinking of popping down
this...this very weekend,
369
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,550
this coming weekend, to tell you.
370
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:25,950
Both of us, me and Alan.
371
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,000
How's she taking it?
372
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,920
She's smiling, she's happy.
373
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,150
She's laughing!
374
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,680
Yeah, well that's just...
375
00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,470
You wait till she comes
off the phone.
376
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,710
It'll be Armageddon.
377
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:42,430
The forces of Gog and Magog
378
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,630
will gather from the four corners
of the earth...
379
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,350
You're losing me, Caroline.
Yeah, well, good luck.
380
00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:49,350
I've offered to organise
the wedding for them.
381
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:50,760
And I said you'd help me.
382
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,910
Hello?
383
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:58,830
'Go on!
384
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,550
'Come on, we'll have a laugh.'
385
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,670
I could use a laugh, couldn't you?
386
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,160
I'm...
387
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,520
..bloody well fed-up.
388
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,550
'I have been for months.'
389
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,120
Yeah. Yeah...
390
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,310
Yeah, all right.
391
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,110
Oh, wonderful! That'd be lovely.
392
00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:22,190
So this coming weekend?
393
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,830
How are you fixed
this coming weekend?
394
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,670
Yes, well, if that was the plan,
if that fits in with you and Alan,
395
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,230
it's absolutely fine with me.
396
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,710
You'll be thinking
I wasn't going to tell you.
397
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,030
'No! No.'
398
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,350
And nothing could be
further from the truth.
399
00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:36,950
No, you wanted to surprise me -
that's nice!
400
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,190
Yeah...
401
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:39,550
Well, give Alan my love.
402
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:40,870
I will.
403
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,870
Oh, Caroline was telling me
her and John are getting divorced.
404
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,590
Oh - what else did she tell you?
405
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,070
Nothing, she didn't have time.
406
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,710
I wanted to ring you
to say congratulations.
407
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,470
You'll have to fill me in
when I see you.
408
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,630
Yeah.
409
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,310
OK, then. Aw! Bye-bye.
410
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,400
Bye, bye. Bye-bye!
411
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:07,160
Who were that?
412
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,840
Muriel - our Muriel.
413
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:13,750
Nice.
414
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,160
Yeah.
415
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:18,280
Whose roll is it?
416
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,550
I don't know what Caroline
was thinking of,
417
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:24,950
ringing our Muriel.
418
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,670
Well, she'd have assumed -
and she wasn't alone -
419
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:31,070
that you'd spoken to Muriel
any number of weeks ago.
420
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,830
Well, I never said I had.
421
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:36,510
If you don't want her there,
we won't invite her.
422
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,590
What're you smiling at? You.
423
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,510
Whenever have I said
I didn't want her there?
424
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,910
It's an impression you've given.
425
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,200
I don't know how.
426
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,110
She's always to be interfering.
Who?
427
00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:52,550
Caroline - always has to be
organising everybody.
428
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,950
Of course I want my sister
at my wedding!
429
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,990
Good! Good.
430
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:03,670
I don't know why you've got
that expression on your face.
431
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,440
She's all right, our Muriel.
432
00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:08,520
In small doses.
433
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,670
And if Gillian told you
to jump off a cliff,
434
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,310
what would your response to that be?
435
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,150
Mum, I've explained what happened.
I won't go through it again,
436
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,550
because you are choosing not to hear
what's being said.
437
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,710
What YOU have to decide -
when you're calmer -
438
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,990
is whether you want Muriel there
on the day or not,
439
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,150
because it's precisely no skin
off my nose.
440
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,910
It's your wedding, your big day.
441
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,150
No-one else minds what you do
as long as you're happy.
442
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,000
That'll be John.
443
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,000
Lawrence?
444
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:44,600
I, erm...
445
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,040
Sorry. Could...?
446
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,230
This isn't your problem, clearly.
447
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,720
But just...just so you're aware...
448
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,160
Judith's pregnant.
449
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:08,200
Jud...?
450
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:10,760
How?
451
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:15,640
I mean, how...? How can...?
Eight or nine weeks.
452
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,200
Is it yours? She...yes.
She's not slept with anyone else.
453
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,910
So I dunno, I...
Has she been to see a doctor?
454
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,110
Yes, just this week. And?
455
00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:29,400
It's definitely
not...something else?
456
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:31,760
Such as?
457
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,150
Does she want it?
458
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,400
I...it's...all very...
459
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,350
And the reason...the reason
I'm telling you this
460
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:45,750
is that things might get
a bit fraught round there,
461
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,440
given that it's all just
reared its...
462
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:51,760
So...
463
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,750
..as much as I'm happy to have
Lawrence for the weekend normally,
464
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,350
if you wanted to take him
with you instead,
465
00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:01,470
to Halifax,
just this weekend,
466
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:05,000
I would completely understand that
that might be the better option.
467
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,430
Not for you, obviously. But for him.
468
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:09,880
Popsi-Cola!
469
00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:13,600
You're going to have to come
with me. What?
470
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,360
To Gillian's. Why?
471
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,390
Because it's not a great weekend
for us to do this,
472
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,710
as things have panned out...
I'm not staying here.
473
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:27,030
No, we're going to Gillian's.
I'm not going to stupid Gillian's!
474
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,800
I'm going to yours with you.
475
00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:31,560
It's...Lawrence...
476
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:37,800
Hates me, I'm boring.
No, you're not. Apparently.
477
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,600
Lawrence? You can't...!
478
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,120
You'll be on your mobile?
479
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,390
Hello! Hi.
480
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,270
Caroline.
Robbie.
481
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:22,350
They're off to York Races for t'day.
482
00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:25,470
Hello! Awww...!
483
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:28,510
I'm Cheryl! How do you do?
I'm Robbie's better half!
484
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,720
Other half - what am I like?!
Don't tell me!
485
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:34,680
Ain't it a shame about t'weather?
486
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:37,870
I like your jacket -
487
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,230
I love the pattern,
it's really classy.
488
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:41,400
Bye, then!
489
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,470
I don't know how late we'll be.
No problem.
490
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,630
Loving you and leaving you.
491
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:49,910
Bye! Have a nice time!
492
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,470
That's the baby. That's Ellie.
493
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:53,390
Oh, my God! Oh!
494
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,920
You're a grandmother. Hm...
495
00:27:58,360 --> 00:27:59,760
She's annoying.
496
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,470
Bloody York Races.
They've money to burn.
497
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:09,150
He's got homework.
She's got homework.
498
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,630
I thought -
weren't you and Robbie...?
499
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,400
No. Hell, no.
That went tits-up months ago.
500
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,310
Oh, I'm sorry.
501
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,790
Right, Batman. What's the plan?
502
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,310
Lunch. Somewhere nice.
503
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,670
To be honest...I'm a bit skint
this week.
504
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,990
Well, I'm not. I'm...I'm loaded.
505
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,560
I can't have you paying for me.
Yes, you can! Get your stuff.
506
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,830
Do I need to get dressed up?
507
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,040
Only if you want to.
508
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,470
Where we going? It's a surprise.
509
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,760
Whose car we going in?
I don't care!
510
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,230
I came here with Kate,
three months ago.
511
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,990
It was horrendous,
it was when we fell out.
512
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,550
It struck me as being a nice place
for a wedding.
513
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,750
I'm sorry you fell out.
514
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,790
Tell me about Muriel and your mum.
What's all that about, then?
515
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,430
It's a long story.
516
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,030
Well, it's an old story.
517
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,310
And it may be me reading
too much into things.
518
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:44,270
I mean, she's never actually
said anything.
519
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,800
You don't have to tell me, honestly.
I'm only being nosey.
520
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:51,760
My mum,
after they moved to Sheffield...
521
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,270
..after - presumably -
she'd given up on your dad
522
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:56,480
ever getting in touch...
523
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,200
..went out with this lad, Frank.
524
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:03,550
It was serious, apparently.
525
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,120
But then the upshot was...
526
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,310
..he ended up marrying Muriel.
527
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,270
No. No way!
528
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,630
Of course, my mum's version
is that she dumped him,
529
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,560
and THEN he took up
with their Muriel. But...
530
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:18,510
..why would she be so funny
about Muriel so many years on?
531
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:19,950
God.
532
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:24,310
All I know is...they'd had
a spat about something,
533
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:25,560
Muriel and my mum.
534
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:30,230
This is - God - years ago,
just after me and John got married.
535
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,310
And she was upset -
Muriel was -
536
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,150
so I popped round to see her,
537
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:38,040
to see if I could pour oil
on...whatever.
538
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:43,950
And she said, "What it is is,
539
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,680
"she's never really forgiven me
about Frank".
540
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,150
And stupidly, I didn't say,
"What do you mean?"
541
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,160
I think I just left.
542
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,110
Where is Frank?
543
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:57,840
Dead. Years ago.
544
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,270
Are you the two ladies enquiring
about wedding facilities? Yes!
545
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,830
Would you like to have a look
at the brochures, over lunch?
546
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:08,160
And then perhaps I can
show you around? Thank you.
547
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:22,480
Um...
548
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,790
I know you wouldn't mention it,
but just so you know...
549
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,550
Muriel never knew
about me and Kenneth.
550
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:33,310
About all the ups and downs we had
551
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,910
after I found out he'd been
mucking about behind my back.
552
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:39,750
OK. Like I say, I know you wouldn't,
but...
553
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,750
Not the sort of sister
you could confide in, then,
554
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,070
when it came to the crunch?
555
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:47,310
No. No...not our Muriel.
556
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,200
Well, who did you confide in?
557
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:51,440
Well, no-one.
558
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:54,870
Nobody. I didn't want folk knowing.
559
00:31:54,880 --> 00:32:00,790
I nearly told my mother, once,
when I was at a particularly low ebb.
560
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,950
But...it would have broken her heart.
561
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,710
And she'd have killed him.
She would have!
562
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,760
So, no. I dealt with it on my own.
563
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,950
Then I told Caroline, eventually,
564
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,040
when she was old enough
to understand.
565
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:21,110
And then...yeah.
566
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,280
You're the only other person
I ever told.
567
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,910
I've got a table booked
for this evening for seven.
568
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,150
It's just down here,
569
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,190
we've an Italian restaurant
just two streets away.
570
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,750
It's very nice, it's very good,
we're very lucky.
571
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:41,110
Do you like Italian, Alan?
572
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:42,390
Oh, I can eat anything!
573
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:43,790
And this afternoon,
574
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,470
Martin and Joanne said they'd pop in
with the girls.
575
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,230
How long is it since you've
seen the girls, Celia?
576
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,750
They've shot up!
577
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:52,630
Martin's my eldest.
578
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,230
Laura's just started the second year
of her A-levels,
579
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,150
she's doing very well.
580
00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:00,190
William's gone to Oxford.
How's he getting on?
581
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,070
Fine, as far as we know.
582
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,790
He's only been there a week...
Do you have grandchildren, Alan?
583
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,710
Just the one. Raphael. Raff.
584
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:09,950
He's just started the second year
of his A-levels as well,
585
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,350
same as your...? Laura. Laura.
586
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,310
You must be so proud of him,
William.
587
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,710
Well, I always think pride
comes before a fall, so...
588
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:20,830
Of course she's proud of him.
589
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,150
I'm proud of him,
he's not even my lad!
590
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,470
Aw!
What does your daughter do, Alan?
591
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,990
She farms. She's a farmer.
She farms sheep.
592
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,510
Oh! Of all the things you might've
said, and I'd been guessing,
593
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,230
that would not have been
one of them!
594
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:36,990
Is it a special variety, breed?
595
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,030
No, no - just your bog-standard
Swaledales.
596
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,670
Fascinating. It can be.
597
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:45,080
Lambing! Oh, yes!
598
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:53,030
Tell me about Caroline.
What about her? Her and John.
599
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:54,390
Oh, well.
600
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:57,630
He, er...started messing about
with somebody else.
601
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,590
No...no! He's an idiot.
602
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,270
John? Well, yeah.
603
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:03,470
I am sorry.
604
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:05,950
It was about a year ago. 18 months.
605
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,590
Course, he came crawling back -
when was it?
606
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:10,070
Three or four months since.
607
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:13,310
Realising what a fool he'd been.
But... But she'd moved on.
608
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,790
Well, she realised she didn't
need him any more.
609
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,310
Good for her. I think so.
Good for her.
610
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,400
Absolutely. Absolutely.
611
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,990
Well, I'm going to make another
pot of tea, Alan, if...?
612
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,950
Smashing, yes. Thank you.
613
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,360
We should go into the garden.
It's such a lovely day!
614
00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:34,390
Oh, I don't know how much more
of this I can stand.
615
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:35,750
What?
616
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,470
Who does she think she is?
617
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:39,910
"And what do you do,
you little person?"
618
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:41,990
She seems right enough.
619
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,950
Why do folk ask a question,
620
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,670
and then interrupt as soon as you
embark on an answer?
621
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,550
She's just thrilled to see you,
she's just...
622
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,430
"Our Martin, our Laura."
623
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:54,720
She wants to put a sock in it,
she never stops.
624
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,920
Do not tell her about Caroline.
625
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,560
Instead of tea, can I tempt anyone
to a gin and tonic?
626
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:08,630
She'd love this. So would he.
627
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:12,750
Can we talk about costs?
Packages, deals, numbers?
628
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:15,790
Of course! Can I offer you ladies
a glass of champagne?
629
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:20,070
Um...yes. Thank you. Do you want
to join me in The Waterhouse Bar,
630
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:21,160
when you're ready?
631
00:35:23,720 --> 00:35:26,510
If I drink too much,
can you drive my Land Rover?
632
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,120
What if I drink too much?
633
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:31,120
We'll be up shit creek.
634
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,070
I'm going out.
635
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:52,510
Is this too loud?
636
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:55,710
No! No. It's me. It's fine.
We can turn it down.
637
00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:59,310
It's fine.
It's just...I can't concentrate.
638
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,670
Where are you going?
Just for a walk.
639
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,830
Shall we all go? No.
We can all go.
640
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:05,720
I just...no. No, you...
641
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:12,030
Perhaps you could get something
for supper...while you're out.
642
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,070
Pizzas or...? Yeah.
643
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:15,550
How long will you be?
644
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:16,830
I don't know, does it matter?
645
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,080
Have you got your mobile?
646
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:27,830
Isn't she too old to be pregnant?
647
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:31,270
Well...no.
648
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:33,230
Is she all right?
649
00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:35,160
I... It's...
650
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,590
Why did you ask her
if she'd got her mobile?
651
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,350
Oh, she can't...
652
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,160
She doesn't... She sometimes...
What?
653
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:46,360
I'll just follow her.
654
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,710
I'll just make sure she doesn't...
655
00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:53,870
She shouldn't really be drinking,
you see. Right.
656
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,760
Shan't be long. Famous last words.
657
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:11,110
Harry Wallace! Good Lord.
He once asked me out.
658
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,070
Oh, Harry asked everyone out.
659
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:16,030
Oh, I'm sorry, not that...
No, no, I know he did!
660
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:17,950
I didn't say yes!
661
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:19,910
Did he ever ask you out, Celia?
662
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:21,990
He wouldn't dare.
663
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,560
We're related now, me and Harry.
How?
664
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,750
Oh, well -
did you not...tell Muriel...?
665
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:31,040
Er, no. I hadn't.
666
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:36,670
Well, I've got a great-grandchild.
Emily. Emily Jane.
667
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,950
His - Harry's - granddaughter
and my grandson, Raff.
668
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,150
They've...
669
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,950
I thought...did you not say
he was still doing his A-levels?
670
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:48,190
Yes! They're very young.
They're both still at school?
671
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:51,510
Mm. Oh. Well...it happens.
672
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:54,990
They're very fond of each other.
Of course. And they're not daft.
673
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:58,070
Well...they were, obviously,
or it wouldn't have happened, but...
674
00:37:58,080 --> 00:37:59,630
So they've risen to the occasion.
675
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:03,710
Yes! Yes, they seem to be doing.
676
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:05,000
Gosh.
677
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:12,630
Do you think Caroline'll ever
get married again, Celia?
678
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,310
Is there anyone?
679
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:16,030
Well, she's very attractive...
680
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,390
I doubt it.
I think she's seen the light.
681
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:20,550
Seen the light? As regards men.
682
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:25,630
I think she's worked out what
shallow-minded half-wits they are.
683
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:27,910
Oh, not you!
684
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,270
Not you, never you.
685
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,160
Aw, so wonderful. It's so perfect.
686
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:37,030
What a shame it didn't happen
all those years ago.
687
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:38,760
Yeah. Yeah.
688
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,840
In oh-so many ways.
689
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,590
Although we wouldn't have had
our Caroline and our Gillian.
690
00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:55,670
Hello, love! (It's Caroline.)
691
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:57,990
Mum, this place we're visiting
is perfect.
692
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,270
I think you'll love it -
there are various options,
693
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:02,390
it depends how far
you want to push the boat out,
694
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,390
but honestly,
I think you'll be charmed.
695
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:07,310
But the point is the only day
they've got free
696
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:09,510
this side of Christmas,
and it's a way off,
697
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,550
is Tuesday the 24th of December,
so...
698
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,550
But that...that's Christmas Eve!
699
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:15,870
'I know it's Christmas Eve!'
700
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:18,270
So we need to make a decision,
because it'll probably go,
701
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:19,600
they're very popular.
702
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,310
(I think they think
we're getting married.)
703
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:26,830
Can you e-mail me some pictures,
to Muriel's address,
704
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:28,150
so we can have a look?
705
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:29,200
Just hang on, Mum.
706
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:33,150
W-Why would they think that?
707
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:37,510
I'm guessing that they remember
you bringing Kate here,
708
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:42,710
and they think that I'm just
another one of your women.
709
00:39:42,720 --> 00:39:44,950
No! 'Hello?'
710
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,520
Are you there? Caroline?
711
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:51,950
Hello? Sorry.
712
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:54,430
Can you e-mail me some pictures?
713
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:55,750
Yeah, I can.
714
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:59,670
I've...got Muriel's e-mail
address on my phone.
715
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:02,270
What are you laughing at?
716
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:05,200
Nothing. We've just had
some champagne, that's all.
717
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,590
Oh, don't do that! Why not?
It's frightening. Oh, thanks.
718
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,590
My pelvic floor isn't what it was.
719
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:13,910
I'm going to finish wi' you
if you're not careful.
720
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:15,480
I can't hear what you're saying.
721
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:21,350
I'm going to send you some photos
and a list of costs, Mum. 'OK.'
722
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:22,990
Are you having a nice time?
723
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:24,790
No.
724
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,150
I'm sorry I rang her,
I'm sorry I put my foot in it.
725
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,550
It's fine, it's forgotten.
You didn't know.
726
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,510
I love you.
727
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:33,790
Aww!
728
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,830
'I love you.' Bye.
729
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:37,550
Bye.
730
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:38,840
Bye-bye.
731
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:48,840
How are we doing, ladies?
732
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:08,350
That's fantastic.
733
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:11,230
Thank you very much, we will.
734
00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:14,880
Bye. Bye. Bye-bye.
735
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,670
Have they got it? Yeah.
736
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,910
"Inebriated headmistress
leaves phone in hotel bar."
737
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,470
"Drunken pillock
leaves phone in hotel bar."
738
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:28,600
That's not good copy,
that's just normal. 60.
739
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,120
Quick, open up, I need the loo.
740
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:41,480
Oh, I never lock up.
Nowt worth stealing.
741
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:50,750
'Hello. This is Caroline.
742
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,200
'Leave a message and I'll get back
to you as quickly as I can.
743
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:59,590
Mum? Dad went out. Ages ago.
744
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:00,910
I can't get hold of him.
745
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:02,680
Can you come and get me?
746
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:08,480
Where are you?
Why aren't you answering?
747
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:14,960
I'm sorry I said you were boring.
748
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:19,520
Mum?
749
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:22,720
Mum?
750
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,590
Tea. Mm.
751
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:32,510
You definitely all right
for driving me back
752
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:33,870
to pick up the Landy tomorrow?
753
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,030
Well, yeah,
I've got to get my phone, haven't I?
754
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:37,160
Oh.
755
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,320
What happened?
756
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:52,120
With Kate?
757
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:59,350
I booked two separate rooms
for a romantic weekend.
758
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:00,920
You knob.
759
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:04,120
Don't go on at me.
760
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:11,750
What time will thingy and whats-it
be back from...wherever-it-was
761
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,000
with little doo-dah?
762
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:18,880
Raff. Ellie. York. Calamity.
763
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:22,720
I've no idea.
764
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,070
Will you have room for me?
765
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:30,280
We've always got room for you.
766
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:37,800
I blew it with Kate.
767
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,120
I really blew it.
768
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,480
I only realise now
how lovely it was.
769
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:51,400
How precious.
770
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:58,080
And I've tried to apologise,
but she won't listen.
771
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:02,000
I think she's decided
that I'm bad for her.
772
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:07,240
And there's nothing I can do or say.
773
00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:12,800
I'm in this box now,
with "bad" written on it.
774
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:19,120
Well, not "bad." Just...
775
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:23,920
"Arrogant."
776
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:27,000
"Inept."
777
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:30,560
"Selfish."
778
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:33,880
"Repressed."
779
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:40,080
Just, emotionally...crippled.
780
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:45,560
You all right?
781
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:53,720
What about you and Robbie?
782
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:58,080
Oh - me and Robbie.
783
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,160
That's a different sort of thing
altogether.
784
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:06,680
Why?
785
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:20,840
Do you fancy a drop of brandy
in your tea?
786
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:23,840
Are you?
787
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,910
Oh, I hope we've made
the right decision.
788
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:38,150
I think it looks spot-on.
789
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:41,510
One thing I will say for Caroline -
she has good taste.
790
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:44,830
Well, we're committed now,
they've paid the deposit.
791
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,680
Although she sounded a bit pissed
when I spoke to her.
792
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:52,870
Is this...Kenneth? Yeah.
793
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:54,200
That's him.
794
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:56,480
Hm...
795
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:00,590
She seems very fond of you, Muriel.
796
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:02,270
Considering...
797
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:03,790
Considering what?
798
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:07,430
Well, that...you don't seem
very fond of her.
799
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:09,840
Oh...she's right enough.
800
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:13,200
It's...
What?
801
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:20,350
Oh...she's always has to be
the centre of attention.
802
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:24,990
She can't just come to a party,
Muriel - she has to BE the party.
803
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,710
Well, some people are needy
that way, aren't they?
804
00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:30,750
Needy? Is that what it is?
805
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:34,750
Scared of being left out.
Scared of being overlooked.
806
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:38,840
So they push their way to the front,
with their sharp elbows.
807
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,350
Some people might find
that attractive,
808
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:43,840
but I'm damned certain I don't.
809
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:48,510
Is that what you're bothered about?
810
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:49,950
If she came to t'wedding,
811
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:53,200
she'd make you feel like it were
her big day, rather than yours?
812
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:57,160
Something like that, yes.
813
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:03,520
She's very plain, you know.
814
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:06,000
Compared to you.
815
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:10,830
And she hasn't made me laugh
all day. Not once.
816
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:16,070
I think the day we get married,
you and me together,
817
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:19,320
we'll eclipse everyone else
entirely - don't you?
818
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:23,320
Was that her husband?
819
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:28,280
Yeah. Frank. That's Frank.
820
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:31,960
He's dead.
821
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:40,800
So here's the thing.
822
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:43,760
This is the thing.
823
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:49,560
Me and Robbie.
824
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:56,560
I am - I've always been -
very, very, very fond of him.
825
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:02,070
I should've stuck with him.
826
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:03,320
Robbie.
827
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,270
But Eddie...
828
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:13,680
He was...
829
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:17,800
..just one of those men who...
830
00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:20,080
Oh, God.
831
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:26,590
When I was with him,
nothing else mattered. Nothing.
832
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,950
You could've dropped
a helium bomb on Halifax
833
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:30,600
and I wouldn't have noticed.
834
00:48:32,240 --> 00:48:33,600
It was hydrogen.
835
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:42,440
I shouldn't have done that to Robbie.
836
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:47,720
But I couldn't help it.
837
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:52,590
I couldn't.
838
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,630
But you'd got over that, surely,
before -
839
00:48:55,640 --> 00:49:00,310
you and Robbie, when you started
going out with each other again...
840
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:01,640
Mm, yeah. We did.
841
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:04,950
Wow.
842
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:06,280
But...
843
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:10,950
It's not going to last
with that Cheryl, is it?
844
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:12,310
He'll soon get to the end of her.
845
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:15,270
He's obviously only bothering...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
846
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:18,070
I know that. I know that.
847
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,400
Sorry.
848
00:49:21,240 --> 00:49:24,000
Although Raff reckons
she's moving in with him.
849
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:30,390
Am I missing the point?
850
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:33,400
No. No. No.
851
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:36,280
I...
852
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:44,200
..don't think...ever...
853
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:50,720
..me and Robbie could be a good idea.
854
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:57,240
Even though, all things being equal,
we could've been.
855
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:00,270
Why?
856
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:04,320
We could've been really nice
together.
857
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:07,920
Why do you think you can't be?
858
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:17,400
I did the...shittiest thing to him.
859
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,840
I never told anyone this, Caroline.
860
00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:31,190
I'm...very drunk.
So am I.
861
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,310
Are you? Yeah. Really? Yeah.
862
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:36,040
As drunk as me?
I don't know, I'm pretty drunk.
863
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:39,110
Don't tell me something
you're going to regret.
864
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:41,680
I want to tell you. OK.
865
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:48,880
I...
866
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:55,920
I murdered him.
867
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:00,560
Eddie.
868
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,750
The only proper family
Robbie ever had.
869
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:07,360
And...fuck!
870
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:19,240
I murdered him.
871
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:29,390
You don't know what you're
talking about, you never did!
872
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:30,990
It's all so easy, isn't it?
873
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:35,070
It's all so cut and dried
and black and white,
874
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:38,190
that's why you've been so successful
all your life!
875
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:41,950
Because you've got all the bloody
answers to bloody everything!
876
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:43,190
Lawrence?
877
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:47,270
"Just get rid of it, Judith,
you're killing it, anyway."
878
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:49,870
Can you hear what you sound like?
879
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:52,230
Can you hear how nasty it is?
880
00:51:52,240 --> 00:51:55,790
Lawrence?
You have no... Men don't!
881
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:59,350
Women create, men destroy. Fact.
882
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:03,750
Women create life, men shoot people.
883
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:07,150
Name me one war started by a woman.
884
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:08,350
The Falklands.
885
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,310
Yeah! Exactly! That's the one.
886
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:11,550
Where's Lawrence?
887
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:15,150
Out of how many? Since time began?
888
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:17,110
One war.
Where is Lawrence?
889
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:20,950
And don't say the Trojan War,
because that's bollocks.
890
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:25,070
Pollux. Pollux and Castor,
they started it.
891
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,830
They invaded...Athens.
892
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:32,030
She was - Helen was just an excuse
to get the guns out.
893
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:33,510
Boadicea.
894
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,830
Joan of Arc, Elizabeth I,
895
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:40,550
Cleopatra, Queen Anne, Golda Meir,
896
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:43,350
Indira Ghandi, Catherine the Great.
897
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:46,510
Queen Isabella of Spain -
she was a bitch.
898
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:47,550
Tzu-Hsi...
899
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:49,710
You made that last one up.
900
00:52:49,720 --> 00:52:52,630
You don't know what you're
talking about! Let's face it.
901
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:55,200
Gun-boat diplomacy!
Who started that?
902
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:57,870
Queen Victoria!
903
00:52:57,880 --> 00:52:59,520
Where is Lawrence?
904
00:53:04,720 --> 00:53:05,880
He knocked me about.
905
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:09,960
All the time.
906
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:16,200
He knocked three of my back teeth
out.
907
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:20,960
Be careful not to do it at the front.
908
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:24,040
Where people can see.
909
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:29,360
Once...he pinned me down...
910
00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:32,280
..and put a cigarette out.
911
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,080
On my neck.
912
00:53:52,240 --> 00:53:55,360
I've...shed blood...
913
00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:59,720
..in every room in this house.
914
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:14,200
There were other humiliations.
915
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:18,800
I won't bore you with them.
916
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:23,160
So...
917
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:33,440
I...
918
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:41,070
The police had me in for...days.
919
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:43,400
Hours, over several days.
920
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:48,080
And me dad.
921
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:55,080
I told him same tale I told them.
922
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:59,520
That I'd found him with his head
in the log splitter.
923
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:06,470
He had an inkling
there was more to it than that,
924
00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:07,640
me dad did.
925
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:15,870
So I told him I'd put him
out of his misery
926
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:18,080
after a botched suicide effort.
927
00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:25,830
He bought that.
928
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:28,360
I think - I think he bought that.
929
00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:35,520
Then he made me ring the police.
930
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:44,160
Why are you telling me this?
931
00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:48,440
I don't know.
932
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:54,960
Because...
933
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:58,040
..that's why it could never work.
934
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:00,200
Me and Robbie.
935
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:05,630
Even he -
after the coroner's report -
936
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:06,880
had to accept...
937
00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:16,240
But I did it.
938
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:26,750
His brother,
only proper family he's ever had,
939
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:28,360
and I...
940
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:33,840
..did it.
941
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:39,160
So that's why.
942
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:42,600
That's why.
943
00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:47,040
But other than that...
944
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:58,200
I don't know why I've told you,
Caroline.
945
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:31,310
Oh...
946
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:54,750
I need to know
if you're going to go to the police.
947
00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:56,390
Do you fancy a stag night, Alan?
948
00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:57,790
Like in a lap dancing club?
949
00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:01,150
I decided it was worth,
one more time, saying I'm sorry.
950
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:05,590
My only regret is that we didn't get
that bungalow at Ripponden Bank.
951
00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:07,670
It were my fault we didn't get it.
952
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:11,270
Kate's driven herself into hospital.
She's bleeding.
953
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:15,070
I think you and our Gillian
should get back together.
954
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:18,750
Did you ever know how miserable
I was with Kenneth? No.
955
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:20,910
Hi? We're ready.
They're ready.
956
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:21,950
Have a nice Christmas.
957
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:23,400
Yeah, how likely is that?
69514
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