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1
00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:25,561
(BRAYING)
2
00:00:29,441 --> 00:00:30,841
By Jove!
3
00:00:30,921 --> 00:00:32,681
It's warm tonight, isn't it, Fawlty?
4
00:00:32,761 --> 00:00:33,961
Certainly is, Major, yes.
5
00:00:34,041 --> 00:00:35,281
Very warm.
6
00:00:35,361 --> 00:00:36,681
Can I get you another one?
7
00:00:36,761 --> 00:00:40,281
What? Oh, well, why not, indeed?
What a very nice idea.
8
00:00:40,361 --> 00:00:42,201
(BRAYING)
9
00:00:42,281 --> 00:00:44,601
Reminds me
of somebody machine-gunning a seal.
10
00:00:44,681 --> 00:00:47,001
- The heat?
- No, no. My wife's laugh.
11
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:48,601
Ah, yes.
12
00:00:49,521 --> 00:00:51,241
Ah, good evening, Mrs Peignoir.
13
00:00:51,321 --> 00:00:52,401
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Good evening.
14
00:00:52,481 --> 00:00:55,561
Thank you for your map. It was so useful.
15
00:00:55,641 --> 00:00:57,281
I must congratulate you.
16
00:00:57,361 --> 00:01:00,481
I had no idea how charming Torquay was.
17
00:01:00,601 --> 00:01:03,881
Enchanté.
May I ask, did you find anything of interest?
18
00:01:03,961 --> 00:01:06,041
Mmm. A few pieces I like very much.
19
00:01:06,121 --> 00:01:09,481
And one, oh, I had to have it.
20
00:01:10,241 --> 00:01:12,121
Formidable. I'm so pleased.
21
00:01:12,241 --> 00:01:16,001
May I introduce Major Gowen,
our longest-standing resident? Mrs Peignoir.
22
00:01:16,081 --> 00:01:18,281
- How do you do, Major?
- How do you do, madam?
23
00:01:18,361 --> 00:01:20,201
Mrs Peignoir's an antique dealer.
24
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:23,121
She's down here for a few days,
sniffing around for dainty relics.
25
00:01:23,201 --> 00:01:25,641
(BRAYING)
26
00:01:25,721 --> 00:01:28,361
Please don't alarm yourself,
it's only my wife laughing.
27
00:01:28,441 --> 00:01:30,561
I'm afraid her local
finishing school was bombed.
28
00:01:30,641 --> 00:01:31,801
Oh, dear!
29
00:01:31,881 --> 00:01:34,881
No, no, not really. Just a thought.
Well, now, what can I get you?
30
00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:37,321
- Do you have any Ricard?
- I'm sorry?
31
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:38,681
Any Ricard?
32
00:01:38,761 --> 00:01:41,201
We're just out of it, I think.
33
00:01:41,281 --> 00:01:43,361
- Just a sherry, then.
- But of course.
34
00:01:43,441 --> 00:01:47,401
Tell me, are you,
by any chance, French at all?
35
00:01:47,481 --> 00:01:49,801
- Yes, I am.
- Good Lord!
36
00:01:49,881 --> 00:01:52,921
(BRAYING)
37
00:01:53,001 --> 00:01:55,121
Enjoying yourself, dear?
38
00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:57,961
We, er...
We haven't put any nuts in the bowl, have we?
39
00:01:58,041 --> 00:01:59,401
I haven't. I don't know about you.
40
00:01:59,521 --> 00:02:03,161
- Well, I'll do it then, shall I?
- That would be the simplest solution, dear.
41
00:02:03,241 --> 00:02:04,601
Where's Manuel?
42
00:02:04,681 --> 00:02:07,321
We've given him the evening off, dear.
It's his birthday.
43
00:02:07,401 --> 00:02:09,521
I mean, how old is he? Two and a half?
44
00:02:12,921 --> 00:02:15,721
Excuse me, there are no nuts here, Sybil.
45
00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:17,001
No nuts!
46
00:02:18,641 --> 00:02:20,641
You'll find them in the kitchen. Ha!
47
00:02:20,721 --> 00:02:21,841
Oh, will I?
48
00:02:22,441 --> 00:02:26,361
If you can bear to tear yourself away
from Mrs Peignoir, you will. Do go on.
49
00:02:29,401 --> 00:02:30,881
In 1918, I think.
50
00:02:30,961 --> 00:02:33,521
Did you ever see that film,
How to Murder Your Wife?
51
00:02:33,601 --> 00:02:37,961
- How to Murder Your Wife?
- Yes, awfully good. I saw it six times.
52
00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:39,161
Very funny!
53
00:02:39,241 --> 00:02:40,681
(SYBIL BRAYING)
54
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,041
(IMITATING BRAYING)
55
00:02:42,121 --> 00:02:44,641
- Are you all right, Mr Fawlty?
- What? Yes, thank you very much.
56
00:02:44,721 --> 00:02:45,881
You all right?
57
00:02:45,961 --> 00:02:48,161
- Yes.
- Good, good. We're all all right, then.
58
00:02:48,241 --> 00:02:50,081
(BASIL IMITATING SYBIL BRAYING)
59
00:02:50,161 --> 00:02:53,241
- Must be the heat.
- Yes, and he's getting taller, isn't he?
60
00:02:53,321 --> 00:02:57,241
I don't think he's very well, dear.
I think we ought to take care of him.
61
00:02:57,321 --> 00:02:58,481
- Hello.
- Hello.
62
00:02:58,561 --> 00:03:01,681
I think I left it over here somewhere.
Hang on.
63
00:03:04,041 --> 00:03:07,401
Ah, here it is. See you tonight.
64
00:03:07,481 --> 00:03:08,641
Come on.
65
00:03:14,641 --> 00:03:17,161
Yes! A single for tonight, is it?
66
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:20,041
- Mr Fawlty, may I introduce Richard Turner?
- I'm sorry?
67
00:03:20,121 --> 00:03:22,361
- He's a friend of mine.
- Oh, you know each other, do you?
68
00:03:22,441 --> 00:03:24,201
Just passing through, are you?
69
00:03:24,281 --> 00:03:25,761
There you go. See you tonight.
70
00:03:25,841 --> 00:03:28,401
We've opened a library, have we? How nice.
71
00:03:28,481 --> 00:03:30,841
Please don't leave on my
account, Mr Turnip.
72
00:03:30,921 --> 00:03:32,441
- I'm sorry, Mr Fawlty.
- Now look, Polly.
73
00:03:32,521 --> 00:03:33,561
We were just saying goodbye...
74
00:03:33,641 --> 00:03:35,961
I mean, what sort of place
do you think this is, a massage parlour?
75
00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:39,441
We are running a nice, respectable, high...
76
00:03:39,521 --> 00:03:42,361
- I'm sorry, did I say something funny?
- No, I was just looking for...
77
00:03:42,441 --> 00:03:44,241
No, no, obviously I said something
frightfully comic.
78
00:03:44,321 --> 00:03:45,361
No, it's just the heat.
79
00:03:45,441 --> 00:03:48,761
Well, so long as I amuse the staff.
I mean, that's all I'm here for.
80
00:03:48,841 --> 00:03:50,601
- I'll just take these in...
- One other thing, Polly.
81
00:03:50,681 --> 00:03:53,521
I'm afraid we've abandoned the idea
of the topless afternoon teas,
82
00:03:53,641 --> 00:03:57,121
so if you wouldn't mind changing before you
go in where people may be trying to eat.
83
00:03:57,201 --> 00:03:58,681
I was going to.
84
00:03:58,761 --> 00:04:00,241
Polly, would you come back here, please?
85
00:04:00,321 --> 00:04:02,161
I'm on form tonight. Yes, Mr Fawlty?
86
00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:04,601
I know these kind of drawings
are considered decent at art school.
87
00:04:04,681 --> 00:04:07,801
Would you please not leave them
lying around on display at the reception?
88
00:04:07,921 --> 00:04:11,161
- I'll put them away when I've got some clothes on.
- I mean, really!
89
00:04:17,361 --> 00:04:19,001
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
90
00:04:19,961 --> 00:04:21,361
Hello, Fawlty Titties.
91
00:04:23,401 --> 00:04:27,041
Yes, yes. Oh, it's you, Audrey. Yes.
92
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:31,001
Oh, he's left you again, has he? Oh, dear.
93
00:04:31,081 --> 00:04:34,801
Oh, dear. How sad. Hmm. Yes.
94
00:04:34,881 --> 00:04:37,201
Ah, good evening, Major.
Yes, I'll be with you in just one moment.
95
00:04:37,281 --> 00:04:41,081
Well, I'll get her to call.
Yes, well, keep your pecker up. Bye.
96
00:04:41,161 --> 00:04:42,241
Dreadful.
97
00:04:44,881 --> 00:04:45,961
Stop it, Alan.
98
00:04:46,041 --> 00:04:47,521
Ruff, ruff, ruff!
99
00:04:51,161 --> 00:04:53,961
- Hello. We've booked a room.
- Have you?
100
00:04:54,041 --> 00:04:57,801
- Yes, a double one. The name is...
- One moment, please.
101
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,281
- That's a nice suit.
- What?
102
00:04:59,361 --> 00:05:00,361
Nothing.
103
00:05:00,441 --> 00:05:01,601
- I thought you said something.
- No.
104
00:05:01,681 --> 00:05:03,601
(GIGGLING)
105
00:05:03,681 --> 00:05:05,081
Are you all right?
106
00:05:05,161 --> 00:05:06,561
Yes, thank you.
107
00:05:09,361 --> 00:05:11,401
- Are we ready?
- I think we are, yes.
108
00:05:11,481 --> 00:05:14,241
- May I have your name, please?
- Yes, it's Bruce.
109
00:05:14,321 --> 00:05:16,001
- Mr and Mrs Bruce.
- That's right.
110
00:05:16,081 --> 00:05:18,521
- Is it a double bed?
- I beg your pardon?
111
00:05:18,601 --> 00:05:21,081
Has our room got a double bed?
112
00:05:21,161 --> 00:05:23,041
- A double bed?
- Yes.
113
00:05:23,121 --> 00:05:24,921
We've only got one double bed,
I mean, do you want that?
114
00:05:25,001 --> 00:05:26,521
Oh, very much, indeed. Yes.
115
00:05:26,641 --> 00:05:29,481
- Well, I'll have to put you in number 12, then.
- All right.
116
00:05:29,561 --> 00:05:31,561
I mean... Oh, never mind.
117
00:05:31,641 --> 00:05:33,441
Has it got a breeze?
118
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:36,921
- Has it got a breeze?
- Well, is it airy?
119
00:05:37,761 --> 00:05:39,521
There's air in it. I mean, what the...
120
00:05:39,601 --> 00:05:42,161
- Oh, I think there's a letter for me.
- What?
121
00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:43,961
- There's a letter for me there.
- No, there isn't.
122
00:05:44,041 --> 00:05:46,201
Yes. Jean Wilson.
123
00:05:48,201 --> 00:05:49,921
- Jean Wilson, is this you?
- Mmm-hmm.
124
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,081
(BRUCE LAUGHING)
125
00:05:51,161 --> 00:05:52,241
Now, what's going on here?
126
00:05:53,601 --> 00:05:55,361
- Well, I can't give you a double room, then.
- Oh, look...
127
00:05:55,441 --> 00:05:56,481
It's against the law.
128
00:05:56,601 --> 00:05:59,361
- What law?
- The law of England. Nothing to do with me.
129
00:05:59,441 --> 00:06:01,161
- Nothing to do with you?
- Nothing at all.
130
00:06:01,241 --> 00:06:03,761
I can give you two singles,
if you like, but...
131
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:06,241
- Shall we go somewhere else?
- Excuse me.
132
00:06:06,321 --> 00:06:10,681
There's my key.
And now, I'm off to paint the town red.
133
00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:12,001
Thank you so much.
134
00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:14,201
Well, er, perhaps I'll see
you later this evening?
135
00:06:14,281 --> 00:06:17,321
Yes, my wife and I will be up
till quite late tonight, thank you.
136
00:06:18,121 --> 00:06:20,561
I don't believe a word! Excuse me.
137
00:06:20,641 --> 00:06:23,281
We'll have two singles then,
if that's all right with the police.
138
00:06:23,361 --> 00:06:26,881
- Two singles, certainly. Now...
- Next to each other.
139
00:06:27,001 --> 00:06:30,441
Next to each other. Oh, dear, we can't do that.
What a shame.
140
00:06:30,521 --> 00:06:32,601
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
141
00:06:32,681 --> 00:06:34,361
- A double, is it?
- We'd like a double.
142
00:06:34,441 --> 00:06:36,601
(IN LOW VOICE) Two singles, dear.
Not married. Now...
143
00:06:37,801 --> 00:06:39,921
- What?
- Nothing, dear. I'm dealing with it.
144
00:06:40,001 --> 00:06:42,681
Well, 17 and 18 are free.
You'd have to share a bath.
145
00:06:42,761 --> 00:06:44,561
No. Oh, Audrey called.
146
00:06:44,641 --> 00:06:45,641
(IN LOW VOICE) I'll handle it.
147
00:06:45,721 --> 00:06:48,121
- George has left her again.
- Oh, no.
148
00:06:48,201 --> 00:06:51,041
Now, we've got one on the first floor,
one right up at the top.
149
00:06:51,121 --> 00:06:53,321
- Shall I deal with this, Basil?
- I'm dealing with it, dear.
150
00:06:53,401 --> 00:06:55,481
No, that's all right.
You wanted two singles?
151
00:06:55,561 --> 00:06:57,681
- I said I'd deal with it.
- Mind sharing a bathroom?
152
00:06:57,761 --> 00:07:00,641
- I was here first.
- It's my turn now, then.
153
00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:05,081
I fought in the Korean War, you know.
I killed four men.
154
00:07:08,121 --> 00:07:10,681
He was in the catering corps,
he used to poison them.
155
00:07:12,121 --> 00:07:13,881
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
156
00:07:13,961 --> 00:07:15,801
Yes? Who is it?
157
00:07:15,881 --> 00:07:17,881
- Is Manuel.
- What do you want?
158
00:07:17,961 --> 00:07:20,361
- Can I go now?
- I thought you'd gone.
159
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:23,081
- Qué?
- I thought you'd gone.
160
00:07:23,161 --> 00:07:25,401
- No, no, I turned it off.
- What?
161
00:07:26,401 --> 00:07:27,681
It was about so high.
162
00:07:27,761 --> 00:07:30,881
No, no. I said, I thought... A creduto...
It doesn't matter.
163
00:07:30,961 --> 00:07:32,921
- Qué?
- It doesn't matter.
164
00:07:33,001 --> 00:07:34,921
- Oh, you think I gone?
- Yes.
165
00:07:35,001 --> 00:07:36,561
- No, no, I go now.
- Wonderful.
166
00:07:36,641 --> 00:07:37,681
What? Is okay?
167
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,641
- Is okay.
- Thank you.
168
00:07:40,521 --> 00:07:41,841
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
169
00:07:41,921 --> 00:07:43,641
- Yes?
- Before I go...
170
00:07:43,721 --> 00:07:45,081
What is it?
171
00:07:45,761 --> 00:07:48,521
- Is my birthday.
- Yes, I know!
172
00:07:48,641 --> 00:07:51,841
- "I want to thank you for beautiful present."
- Oh yes. Fine.
173
00:07:51,921 --> 00:07:54,561
"And for your much kindness to me
since I come here."
174
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,761
Not at all. My pleasure.
175
00:07:55,841 --> 00:07:59,161
"Since coming here from Spain,
leaving my mother..."
176
00:07:59,241 --> 00:08:00,361
- Outside.
- Qué?
177
00:08:00,441 --> 00:08:02,161
Outside. Thank you.
178
00:08:04,241 --> 00:08:07,841
"Since coming here from Spain,
leaving my five brothers and four sisters..."
179
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,921
Give it to me. Thank you.
180
00:08:12,841 --> 00:08:14,161
- Can I have it, Basil?
- What, dear?
181
00:08:14,241 --> 00:08:16,161
- I want that key.
- I've only got the key to room 12, dear.
182
00:08:16,241 --> 00:08:17,841
- That's the one.
- Now look here, Sybil...
183
00:08:17,921 --> 00:08:19,521
Basil!
184
00:08:19,601 --> 00:08:21,121
If you were my size...
185
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,401
"Since coming..."
186
00:08:22,481 --> 00:08:23,481
(LOUD SMACKING)
187
00:08:24,001 --> 00:08:25,561
- Manuel.
- Sí, sí?
188
00:08:25,641 --> 00:08:28,001
Number 12, please.
189
00:08:28,081 --> 00:08:29,281
Basil!
190
00:08:34,521 --> 00:08:35,521
Jean!
191
00:08:35,601 --> 00:08:38,361
- Hello, Poll.
- What are you doing here?
192
00:08:38,441 --> 00:08:41,081
- Well, we couldn't get in at the Bellevue.
- Oh, no.
193
00:08:41,161 --> 00:08:44,321
- Hello, Alan.
- It'll be fun. My parents arrive tomorrow.
194
00:08:44,401 --> 00:08:45,721
What, here?
195
00:08:45,841 --> 00:08:48,281
- Well, I warned you.
- Yes, we've already met the famous Fawlty.
196
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,281
Shh. I'm not supposed to hobnob.
197
00:08:50,361 --> 00:08:52,921
- Oh, I like your outfit.
- I'll give you the pattern.
198
00:08:53,001 --> 00:08:54,561
(LAUGHING)
199
00:08:55,761 --> 00:08:57,241
JEAN: Are you going to
be at Fiona's wedding?
200
00:08:57,321 --> 00:09:01,001
I can't, but I'll be at the reception,
in my very own Jean Wilson creation.
201
00:09:01,081 --> 00:09:03,161
- I want you to try that on later.
- Okay.
202
00:09:03,241 --> 00:09:04,281
How's that gorgeous stepfather?
203
00:09:04,361 --> 00:09:06,681
I haven't seen him for a month.
He's been in Singapore.
204
00:09:06,761 --> 00:09:08,281
Oh, blast!
205
00:09:08,361 --> 00:09:10,961
I forgot to get those batteries
for my electric razor.
206
00:09:11,041 --> 00:09:12,081
Is there anywhere still open, Poll?
207
00:09:12,161 --> 00:09:16,321
- You might find a chemist's.
- I better have a look. Won't be long.
208
00:09:16,401 --> 00:09:18,761
- Is Richard coming tonight?
- We'll be along about 10:00.
209
00:09:18,841 --> 00:09:20,041
Great!
210
00:09:25,201 --> 00:09:26,281
Hello, again.
211
00:09:26,361 --> 00:09:28,841
Well, we managed to get it all sorted out
with your wife.
212
00:09:28,921 --> 00:09:30,481
I wouldn't know about that.
Is there something you want?
213
00:09:30,601 --> 00:09:34,121
Yes. I know it's a bit late,
but do you know if there's a chemist still open?
214
00:09:35,801 --> 00:09:37,641
I beg your pardon?
215
00:09:37,721 --> 00:09:39,401
Do you know if there's
a chemist still open?
216
00:09:39,481 --> 00:09:41,681
I suppose you think this is funny, do you?
217
00:09:42,641 --> 00:09:45,161
- Funny?
- Ha, ha, ha.
218
00:09:45,241 --> 00:09:47,041
No, no. I really want to know.
219
00:09:47,121 --> 00:09:49,601
Oh, do you? Well, I don't.
So far as I know, all the chemists are shut.
220
00:09:49,681 --> 00:09:51,961
You'll just have to wait
till tomorrow. Sorry.
221
00:09:53,281 --> 00:09:55,001
Bit of a blow, I imagine.
222
00:09:55,081 --> 00:09:57,201
- What?
- Nothing. You heard.
223
00:09:57,281 --> 00:09:58,281
Is that all?
224
00:09:58,361 --> 00:10:00,081
- Well...
- Yes?
225
00:10:00,161 --> 00:10:02,841
- I don't suppose you've got a couple...
- Now, look!
226
00:10:02,921 --> 00:10:05,841
Just don't push your luck!
I have a breaking point, you know.
227
00:10:05,921 --> 00:10:07,681
I only want some batteries.
228
00:10:10,841 --> 00:10:12,121
I don't believe it.
229
00:10:12,201 --> 00:10:13,481
- What?
- Batteries, eh?
230
00:10:13,561 --> 00:10:16,361
You know something? You disgust me.
231
00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:20,481
I know what people like you get up to,
and I think it's disgusting!
232
00:10:20,561 --> 00:10:21,961
What are you talking about?
233
00:10:22,041 --> 00:10:24,081
I want some batteries for my electric razor.
I want to shave!
234
00:10:24,161 --> 00:10:26,841
- Oh, yes?
- Yes! I haven't shaved today. Look, see?
235
00:10:26,921 --> 00:10:28,921
- Electric razor, huh?
- Right.
236
00:10:29,001 --> 00:10:31,241
Well, that's what I was referring to
when I said it was disgusting.
237
00:10:31,321 --> 00:10:34,721
It is, of course, disgusting that you
haven't shaved, but understandable.
238
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,161
I mean, sometimes I don't shave either,
and that's disgusting, too.
239
00:10:37,241 --> 00:10:39,321
So I shall have a razor
sent up to your room straightaway.
240
00:10:39,401 --> 00:10:41,001
Thank you so much, good night.
241
00:10:48,121 --> 00:10:49,241
(BRAYING)
242
00:11:01,321 --> 00:11:03,481
(BRAYING)
243
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:15,601
(BRAYING)
244
00:11:16,681 --> 00:11:18,001
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
245
00:11:19,841 --> 00:11:21,041
Hello?
246
00:11:22,281 --> 00:11:24,281
Audrey, any news?
247
00:11:25,441 --> 00:11:27,961
Oh, dear. He hasn't?
248
00:11:29,081 --> 00:11:30,721
Oh, I know.
249
00:11:32,881 --> 00:11:35,721
He doesn't deserve you, Audrey.
He really doesn't.
250
00:11:36,881 --> 00:11:39,721
Exactly. I know you have.
251
00:11:41,241 --> 00:11:44,441
I know. I know.
252
00:11:45,241 --> 00:11:48,801
- Oh, I know.
- Are you gonna go on like that all night?
253
00:11:48,881 --> 00:11:50,761
What was that, Audrey?
254
00:11:51,481 --> 00:11:52,961
Oh, I know.
255
00:11:54,441 --> 00:11:57,681
- I know.
- Well, why is she telling you, then?
256
00:11:57,761 --> 00:11:59,601
I understand, dear, I really do.
257
00:11:59,681 --> 00:12:02,601
I can't stand it anymore.
I'll go clean the roof or something.
258
00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:04,161
(DOORBELL RINGING)
259
00:12:05,081 --> 00:12:07,081
There's the front doorbell.
Somebody's got back late.
260
00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:08,921
Yes, yes.
261
00:12:09,001 --> 00:12:12,081
- I expect they forgot their passkey.
- I know.
262
00:12:12,161 --> 00:12:13,921
- Somebody better go and let them in.
- Yes.
263
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,481
- I'll go then, shall I?
- Hmm.
264
00:12:15,561 --> 00:12:18,121
Yes, I agree. Right. I'll go, then.
265
00:12:18,201 --> 00:12:19,521
You know who that is, don't you?
266
00:12:19,601 --> 00:12:21,361
That's your pair, the Kama Sutra set.
267
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:24,601
"Good evening, welcome to
Basil Fawlty Knocking Shops Limited."
268
00:12:25,561 --> 00:12:28,041
No, dear. It's only Basil.
269
00:12:29,121 --> 00:12:30,161
(DOORBELL RINGING)
270
00:12:30,241 --> 00:12:32,161
I'm coming, I'm coming.
271
00:12:36,161 --> 00:12:38,001
I mean, I suppose you know what time it is?
272
00:12:38,081 --> 00:12:41,761
(GIGGLING) Oh, Mr Fawlty, I'm so sorry.
273
00:12:41,841 --> 00:12:43,041
Oh, no. It's only a quarter past 11.
274
00:12:43,121 --> 00:12:45,801
I got you out of your bed.
275
00:12:45,881 --> 00:12:47,801
Not at all.
I had a few little jobs to do...
276
00:12:47,881 --> 00:12:50,281
Oh, you're so kind.
277
00:12:50,361 --> 00:12:53,841
- Oh, well...
- I had just a lovely evening.
278
00:12:53,921 --> 00:12:55,561
Did you? How very nice.
279
00:12:55,641 --> 00:12:59,001
I saw some friends I hadn't seen for years.
280
00:12:59,081 --> 00:13:01,801
I had a little bit too much to
drink, I'm afraid.
281
00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:04,641
What's life for if one can't get a bit...?
282
00:13:04,721 --> 00:13:07,161
- Blotto?
- Well, hardly blotto.
283
00:13:07,241 --> 00:13:11,041
Mr Fawlty, you're so charming.
284
00:13:11,121 --> 00:13:12,881
Well, one does one's best.
285
00:13:12,961 --> 00:13:17,161
I hope Mrs Fawlty
appreciates how lucky she is.
286
00:13:17,241 --> 00:13:19,081
I think probably not, in fact.
287
00:13:19,161 --> 00:13:22,001
Sorry, beg your pardon. Ah, there we are.
288
00:13:22,081 --> 00:13:24,161
(GIGGLING)
289
00:13:24,241 --> 00:13:27,281
Oh, sorry! Sorry! Ha, Ha! There you are.
290
00:13:27,361 --> 00:13:28,721
- Carry on.
- We're awfully sorry.
291
00:13:28,801 --> 00:13:29,961
No, it was quite extraordinary.
292
00:13:30,041 --> 00:13:32,121
The front doorbell went
just a moment or two ago,
293
00:13:32,201 --> 00:13:34,841
and I thought to myself,
"I expect that'll be Alan and..."
294
00:13:34,921 --> 00:13:37,801
So, down I go, and lo and behold,
it's not you at all. It's Mrs Peignoir.
295
00:13:37,881 --> 00:13:40,361
Have you met Alan and...
This is Mrs Peignoir.
296
00:13:40,441 --> 00:13:42,721
She's an antique dealer,
I mean, she deals in antiques.
297
00:13:42,801 --> 00:13:44,401
She's not frightfully old or anything.
298
00:13:44,521 --> 00:13:48,321
So, I let her in just ten secs ago, hardly five,
I mean, hardly time to say good evening,
299
00:13:48,401 --> 00:13:51,081
in she comes, drops her thing,
down I go, down she goes,
300
00:13:51,161 --> 00:13:54,161
and there you are, bless my soul.
Golly, is that the time?
301
00:13:54,241 --> 00:13:57,001
My goodness, I was thinking
it was a quarter past ten. My God!
302
00:13:57,081 --> 00:13:59,441
I'd better get to bed.
Can't stand around talking all night.
303
00:13:59,521 --> 00:14:01,601
Got to get an early night. Bye!
304
00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:03,641
Sorry!
305
00:14:09,561 --> 00:14:11,921
- Are you all right?
- Yes, I am.
306
00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:14,761
Good night. Bonne nuit.
307
00:14:14,841 --> 00:14:15,881
Jean, I'll just make that call.
308
00:14:16,601 --> 00:14:18,081
- Don't be too long.
- No.
309
00:14:21,401 --> 00:14:22,681
(YAWNING)
310
00:14:25,121 --> 00:14:26,441
Well?
311
00:14:26,521 --> 00:14:28,161
- Hmm?
- Who was it?
312
00:14:28,281 --> 00:14:30,161
It was your pair.
313
00:14:30,241 --> 00:14:32,721
(SCOFFING)
314
00:14:32,801 --> 00:14:35,001
JEAN: Good night.
MRS PEIGNOIR: Bonne nuit.
315
00:14:38,161 --> 00:14:40,041
Oh, and that woman...
316
00:14:42,001 --> 00:14:44,241
- Mrs Peignoir?
- Yes. Something like that.
317
00:14:44,321 --> 00:14:46,921
MRS PEIGNOIR: Dormez bien, Mr Fawlty.
318
00:14:52,961 --> 00:14:54,401
How's Audrey?
319
00:14:54,481 --> 00:14:57,441
- She's in a terrible state.
- Ah, good, good.
320
00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,321
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
321
00:15:00,561 --> 00:15:02,521
There's someone at the door, Sybil!
322
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:06,161
- Why are you shouting, Basil?
- Was I shouting? Sorry, Sybil.
323
00:15:06,241 --> 00:15:08,721
Well, I'd better go see who that is, Sybil.
324
00:15:08,801 --> 00:15:10,801
I expect it's some key
who forgot to get the guest for their door.
325
00:15:10,881 --> 00:15:13,481
Or something like that,
some innocent explanation.
326
00:15:13,561 --> 00:15:15,321
- Ha, are you ready, Sybil?
- I'm ready.
327
00:15:15,401 --> 00:15:17,561
Right. I'll just see who
that is then, Sybil.
328
00:15:17,641 --> 00:15:19,281
All right, Sybil?
329
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,081
Hello?
330
00:15:25,241 --> 00:15:26,441
Hello?
331
00:15:28,201 --> 00:15:29,321
Olé!
332
00:15:30,081 --> 00:15:34,121
Oh, so sorry, Mr Fawlty. Poor Mr Fawlty.
333
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:37,081
- SYBIL: Are you all right?
- No, I'm dying, but don't get out of bed.
334
00:15:37,161 --> 00:15:39,681
I hurt you, and you so wonderful to me.
335
00:15:39,761 --> 00:15:42,161
Give me such beautiful present. Thank you!
336
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:43,601
You're drunk, Manuel!
337
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:46,521
No, no. Is beautiful.
Is my first one. Thank you.
338
00:15:46,601 --> 00:15:48,401
Now listen...
339
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:51,121
Oh, poor Mr Fawlty. So sorry.
340
00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:54,401
Please, Mr Fawlty, I love you, I love you!
341
00:15:54,481 --> 00:15:56,401
You're so kind to me, you're so good to me!
342
00:15:56,481 --> 00:15:59,961
- I love you!
- SYBIL: Basil, I'm trying to read in here.
343
00:16:00,041 --> 00:16:02,241
Since I come here from Spain,
344
00:16:02,321 --> 00:16:05,961
leaving my five mothers,
and four aunties with...
345
00:16:13,721 --> 00:16:15,721
Et maintenant, un peu de café?
346
00:16:15,801 --> 00:16:17,961
Ah, oui, s'il vous plaît. Café au lait.
347
00:16:18,041 --> 00:16:19,601
- Café what?
- Au lait.
348
00:16:19,681 --> 00:16:21,281
Ah, olé. Quite.
349
00:16:24,801 --> 00:16:26,241
(GROANING)
350
00:16:40,361 --> 00:16:43,081
There we are. Voilà sommes nous.
Café pour vous.
351
00:16:43,161 --> 00:16:45,201
"Vous"? Pas pour toi?
352
00:16:45,281 --> 00:16:47,721
- I'll probably have one later.
- Very funny.
353
00:16:47,801 --> 00:16:50,601
- Good, good.
- Oh, Mr Fawlty, I forget.
354
00:16:50,721 --> 00:16:53,161
The window in my bedroom, I can't open it.
Could you?
355
00:16:53,241 --> 00:16:55,801
Oh, certainly, I'll pop up and fix it.
Certainly.
356
00:17:01,201 --> 00:17:04,081
(MUMBLING) For you, and this one...
357
00:17:10,761 --> 00:17:12,401
Thank you so much.
358
00:17:12,481 --> 00:17:13,481
Manuel?
359
00:17:13,561 --> 00:17:14,641
Oh, is terrible!
360
00:17:14,721 --> 00:17:16,321
- Go to the kitchen, Manuel.
- I cannot.
361
00:17:16,401 --> 00:17:18,441
- Go to the kitchen immediately.
- No, no, no.
362
00:17:18,521 --> 00:17:21,721
- Come on, Manuel.
- No, no, please, I die here. Please.
363
00:17:21,801 --> 00:17:24,481
Sorry about this.
He's been working awfully hard recently.
364
00:17:24,561 --> 00:17:27,281
- Can I help?
- No, I can manage. Thank you, Polly.
365
00:17:27,361 --> 00:17:28,561
Come on.
366
00:17:28,641 --> 00:17:31,041
Oh, no, please.
367
00:17:31,121 --> 00:17:33,801
- He's at it again.
- It's disgusting.
368
00:17:33,881 --> 00:17:35,401
- I beg your pardon?
- Nothing.
369
00:17:35,481 --> 00:17:38,001
- I thought you said something.
- No, no. Carry on.
370
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:43,561
(MANUEL GROANING)
371
00:17:46,241 --> 00:17:47,721
Get on with your meals.
372
00:17:50,881 --> 00:17:53,321
Thank you, Mr Lloyd.
And this is just for tonight, isn't it?
373
00:17:53,401 --> 00:17:54,881
- That's right.
- Will you be taking lunch?
374
00:17:54,961 --> 00:17:58,521
We won't have time, I'm afraid.
We've got this wedding at half past two.
375
00:17:58,601 --> 00:17:59,921
I wonder, could I make a call?
376
00:18:00,001 --> 00:18:01,201
Please, use that phone.
377
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:03,681
Would it be possible to have
some sandwiches sent up to the room?
378
00:18:03,761 --> 00:18:05,401
Certainly. Here's the key.
379
00:18:05,521 --> 00:18:07,601
- I'll have your bags brought up in a moment.
- Thank you.
380
00:18:07,721 --> 00:18:10,401
- Would you like coffee with the sandwiches?
- Yes, please.
381
00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:14,121
- Mum!
- Hello, darling.
382
00:18:14,201 --> 00:18:16,241
- Hello, Alan.
- Hello, Rachel.
383
00:18:16,321 --> 00:18:19,361
- Where's Phillip? Did he have a good trip?
- Marvellous, he's upstairs.
384
00:18:19,441 --> 00:18:21,841
Oh. Could I speak to Mrs Bryce, please?
385
00:18:21,921 --> 00:18:22,921
I'll see you in a moment.
386
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:24,961
I'm just going to finish my breakfast.
387
00:18:26,721 --> 00:18:28,641
- There they are.
- Where's the key?
388
00:18:28,721 --> 00:18:31,561
- He's already taken it up, Basil.
- All right.
389
00:18:31,641 --> 00:18:34,401
Anne? It's Rachel Lloyd here.
How's everything?
390
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:37,961
- I'm going to take your cases upstairs.
- Yes, I know.
391
00:18:39,561 --> 00:18:43,321
Darling, it's beautiful, thank you.
392
00:18:51,161 --> 00:18:52,601
(WHISPERING) Sybil, Sybil.
393
00:18:57,801 --> 00:18:59,361
- Ah, hello.
- Hello.
394
00:18:59,441 --> 00:19:01,081
- It's Mrs Lloyd, isn't it?
- That's right.
395
00:19:01,161 --> 00:19:03,601
- How do you do? Fawlty, Basil Fawlty.
- How do you do?
396
00:19:03,681 --> 00:19:06,801
- Pretty well, can't complain.
- Good.
397
00:19:06,921 --> 00:19:10,921
We had this door knocked through recently.
Made a rather good job of it, don't you think?
398
00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:12,561
Yes, yes. It's very nice.
399
00:19:12,641 --> 00:19:14,801
Marvellous. Changed our lives, really.
400
00:19:14,881 --> 00:19:16,801
Used to have to do the 100 yards
through there and back again,
401
00:19:16,881 --> 00:19:19,121
but now we can just sort of open it and...
402
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:20,921
It isn't working as
well as it usually does.
403
00:19:21,001 --> 00:19:22,481
(LAUGHS MANICALLY)
404
00:19:23,241 --> 00:19:26,441
You can go right in. Just like that.
Marvellous, really.
405
00:19:26,521 --> 00:19:27,641
Rather simple, but effective.
406
00:19:27,721 --> 00:19:30,481
Would you like to have a
try, see the kitchen...?
407
00:19:30,561 --> 00:19:33,521
I'd love to one day, but I think just now,
I'd better get upstairs.
408
00:19:33,601 --> 00:19:34,681
So, I'll see you later.
409
00:19:34,761 --> 00:19:36,561
(MOANING)
410
00:19:38,521 --> 00:19:39,601
You all right?
411
00:19:39,681 --> 00:19:42,241
Bit of trouble with the old leg,
I'd better sit down here for a moment.
412
00:19:42,321 --> 00:19:45,401
Bit of shrapnel, Korean War.
Still in there.
413
00:19:45,481 --> 00:19:48,481
- Can't they get it out?
- No, too deep, too deep.
414
00:19:48,561 --> 00:19:51,801
- This is the kitchen, as you can see.
- What?
415
00:19:51,881 --> 00:19:54,161
The kitchen, yes.
We had it plastered about five years ago.
416
00:19:54,241 --> 00:19:56,841
We've got a few cracks up there now.
417
00:19:58,121 --> 00:20:02,041
Oh! Don't worry about him.
He's just having a lie down.
418
00:20:03,201 --> 00:20:06,601
He's Spanish. From Barcelona.
You know, sort of siesta. But he's fine.
419
00:20:06,681 --> 00:20:08,601
(MANUEL GROANING)
420
00:20:08,681 --> 00:20:10,041
It was his birthday yesterday.
421
00:20:10,161 --> 00:20:13,721
Anyway, we've got a few cracks up there now,
but nothing serious.
422
00:20:13,801 --> 00:20:17,801
As I say, it's not the Sistine Chapel,
but we're very happy with it.
423
00:20:17,881 --> 00:20:21,321
- Are you sure he's all right?
- Oh, yes. Yes, he's fine. Yes.
424
00:20:21,401 --> 00:20:23,601
- But he's groaning.
- Is he? Is he?
425
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:25,561
- Can't you hear him?
- So he is.
426
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:26,681
Listen, I just remembered,
427
00:20:26,761 --> 00:20:30,801
I left your cases just outside your room
by mistake.
428
00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:32,401
Would you mind if I went up
and put them inside now?
429
00:20:32,521 --> 00:20:34,961
- Unless there's anything else...?
- Don't you think perhaps we should open...?
430
00:20:35,041 --> 00:20:37,481
No, no, no! Don't worry about that.
My wife will deal with that. Sybil!
431
00:20:37,561 --> 00:20:40,681
So, if you'd like to...
Come on! Come along.
432
00:20:41,681 --> 00:20:42,761
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
433
00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:44,041
Come in.
434
00:20:45,121 --> 00:20:47,201
Your sandwiches, Mr Lloyd.
435
00:20:48,001 --> 00:20:49,441
- Polly!
- Hello.
436
00:20:49,521 --> 00:20:51,121
- How are you?
- Fantastic.
437
00:20:51,201 --> 00:20:54,361
- It's great to see you.
- You're still gorgeous.
438
00:20:56,241 --> 00:20:57,921
Dear, dear, dear.
439
00:21:06,201 --> 00:21:08,001
Is anything the matter?
440
00:21:10,801 --> 00:21:14,041
- Mrs Lloyd, could I have a word with you?
- You are.
441
00:21:14,161 --> 00:21:17,481
- Well, there's something that I need to explain.
- Well?
442
00:21:17,561 --> 00:21:20,521
- Could we go in there?
- Oh, really, is it absolutely necessary?
443
00:21:20,601 --> 00:21:22,081
I'm afraid it is.
444
00:21:23,841 --> 00:21:25,201
Thank you.
445
00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:31,321
Mrs Lloyd, I'm so sorry,
446
00:21:31,401 --> 00:21:34,481
but this is...
447
00:21:34,601 --> 00:21:39,081
- a much nicer room than the one we've given you.
- What?
448
00:21:39,161 --> 00:21:42,401
I'm sorry, I was just saying that this room
is so much nicer than yours,
449
00:21:42,481 --> 00:21:45,641
and I wanted to bring you in here now,
and show it to you and apologise,
450
00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:49,121
in case you found out about it later,
and got rather cross.
451
00:21:49,201 --> 00:21:51,561
Now the point is... What is...
452
00:21:51,641 --> 00:21:55,401
The point is, if it turns out
you don't like that room,
453
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:56,521
then we can always move you in here,
454
00:21:56,601 --> 00:21:58,801
but I don't think it's worth doing
until you've definitely decided
455
00:21:58,881 --> 00:22:00,921
that you don't like that
one as much as this one,
456
00:22:01,001 --> 00:22:03,121
and then we could sort
of sit down around table,
457
00:22:03,201 --> 00:22:06,401
sort of discuss it,
kind of chew it over, and...
458
00:22:08,841 --> 00:22:11,001
And it'd be a piece of cake.
459
00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:13,361
Bob's your uncle. Okay?
460
00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:16,521
Fine.
461
00:22:17,601 --> 00:22:19,601
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
462
00:22:19,681 --> 00:22:21,001
Thank you.
463
00:22:23,441 --> 00:22:27,641
Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
I wondered where you were, darling.
464
00:22:30,441 --> 00:22:33,521
Darling? Darling, are you all right?
465
00:22:34,921 --> 00:22:38,521
This room is exactly the same
as the one that he just...
466
00:22:39,721 --> 00:22:43,041
Oh, Jean, it's absolutely smashing!
467
00:22:43,121 --> 00:22:45,201
- A bit tight across the bust.
- Oh, I love it.
468
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:46,601
Lower, lower.
469
00:22:46,681 --> 00:22:48,561
- Are you sure?
- Can I pick it up tonight?
470
00:22:48,641 --> 00:22:52,641
Lower, low... That's it, that's it.
471
00:22:52,721 --> 00:22:56,641
That is amazing! That is amazing!
472
00:22:57,761 --> 00:22:59,281
(ALAN MOANING)
473
00:23:07,481 --> 00:23:10,801
ALAN: Hey, baby,
have you been taking lessons?
474
00:23:11,761 --> 00:23:13,721
POLLY: So, I'll see you tonight, huh?
475
00:23:14,801 --> 00:23:17,601
For ten quid, that's absolutely fantastic.
476
00:23:29,721 --> 00:23:30,801
Oh.
477
00:23:32,681 --> 00:23:35,601
No, no, no. No, no, no.
478
00:23:35,681 --> 00:23:37,681
No!
479
00:23:42,481 --> 00:23:44,801
Polly, I want to see you at reception
in one minute in your hat and coat.
480
00:23:44,881 --> 00:23:45,881
I'm sorry?
481
00:23:45,961 --> 00:23:48,241
I want to see you at reception
in one minute in your hat and coat!
482
00:23:48,321 --> 00:23:49,801
- Will they fit you?
- No.
483
00:23:49,881 --> 00:23:51,441
What? You, you!
484
00:23:52,881 --> 00:23:53,961
- They're going.
- What?
485
00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:55,561
They're going.
486
00:24:03,241 --> 00:24:06,201
I'm sorry, but you'll have to go.
We've made a mistake, all these rooms are taken.
487
00:24:07,241 --> 00:24:09,281
She was sitting on him.
488
00:24:09,401 --> 00:24:13,321
Five minutes later, I found him lying
on the floor underneath the waiter.
489
00:24:15,321 --> 00:24:18,841
I'm sorry, but... Ah, there you are.
Got together, have you?
490
00:24:18,921 --> 00:24:20,721
Yes, yes. I might have guessed, mightn't I?
491
00:24:20,841 --> 00:24:23,841
Yes, I see. Of course, we're a bit
behind the times down here in Torquay.
492
00:24:23,921 --> 00:24:25,081
Well, I'm sorry, but you'll have to go.
493
00:24:25,201 --> 00:24:27,761
We made a mistake. All these rooms are taken.
I'm so sorry.
494
00:24:29,441 --> 00:24:31,921
Well, actually, I'm not sorry.
I mean, you come in here, just like that,
495
00:24:32,041 --> 00:24:35,321
and, well, to be perfectly blunt,
you have a very good time at our expense. Hmm?
496
00:24:35,401 --> 00:24:36,761
I mean, I think you know what I mean. Hmm?
497
00:24:36,841 --> 00:24:39,361
I mean you have had
a very, very good time, haven't you?
498
00:24:39,441 --> 00:24:42,681
Well, not here you don't, oh, no!
Thank you, and good night!
499
00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:53,881
Well, that's taken care of that!
500
00:24:54,001 --> 00:24:56,841
Basil, what is going on?
Why did you tell Polly to get her hat and coat?
501
00:24:56,961 --> 00:24:59,321
Because she's going,
along with the Lloyds and that pair you let in.
502
00:24:59,401 --> 00:25:01,681
Never seen anything like
it in my life. My God!
503
00:25:01,761 --> 00:25:03,521
Basil, what are you on about?
Why are they leaving?
504
00:25:03,601 --> 00:25:04,681
I'll tell you exactly why they're leaving.
505
00:25:04,801 --> 00:25:07,761
First of all, I go up there and I find
that girl in his arms, in Lloyd's arms.
506
00:25:07,841 --> 00:25:10,361
- Five minutes later, Polly's in there.
- What girl?
507
00:25:10,441 --> 00:25:13,441
- That girl.
- She's his daughter.
508
00:25:13,521 --> 00:25:14,641
What?
509
00:25:15,321 --> 00:25:18,761
She's Mr Lloyd's stepdaughter.
They're all one family.
510
00:25:34,321 --> 00:25:35,561
What about Polly?
511
00:25:35,641 --> 00:25:38,801
She was at school with Jean.
She's known them all for years.
512
00:25:38,881 --> 00:25:41,001
- For years, huh?
- For years.
513
00:25:41,081 --> 00:25:42,481
What have I done?
514
00:25:42,561 --> 00:25:44,721
- What have you done?
- I told them to leave.
515
00:25:44,801 --> 00:25:48,081
- You've told them to leave?
- How was I supposed to know?
516
00:25:48,161 --> 00:25:50,761
Why didn't you tell me, you half-wit?
Why didn't they tell me?
517
00:25:50,841 --> 00:25:52,961
- You can't blame me for this!
- Go and tell them they can stay.
518
00:25:53,041 --> 00:25:55,401
- Why don't you go tell them?
- I didn't tell them to go.
519
00:25:55,481 --> 00:25:59,241
- Oh, no, I suppose it's all my fault, isn't it?
- Go and tell them. Now!
520
00:25:59,321 --> 00:26:00,361
- No, I won't.
- You will.
521
00:26:00,441 --> 00:26:01,521
- No, no, I won't.
- Oh, yes, you will.
522
00:26:01,601 --> 00:26:04,601
Oh, yes, I will! Right. That's right,
leave it to me, let me get you out of it.
523
00:26:04,681 --> 00:26:05,681
That's all I'm good for, isn't it?
524
00:26:05,801 --> 00:26:09,801
"Basil Fawlty Limited, other people's messes
cleared up by appointment to my wife, Sybil."
525
00:26:09,881 --> 00:26:11,761
I mean, what am I going to say?
526
00:26:11,841 --> 00:26:13,801
Tell them you made a mistake.
527
00:26:13,881 --> 00:26:18,121
Oh, brilliant! Brilliant.
Is that what made Britain great?
528
00:26:18,201 --> 00:26:20,481
(LISPING) I'm so sorry, I made a mistake.
529
00:26:20,561 --> 00:26:23,001
What have you got for brains? Sponge cake?
530
00:26:26,761 --> 00:26:28,641
Very nice, very nice.
Take them off, get back to work.
531
00:26:28,721 --> 00:26:31,041
I'm so sorry. I made a mistake.
532
00:26:31,121 --> 00:26:33,001
I'm so sorry. I made a mistake.
533
00:26:33,081 --> 00:26:35,081
I'm so sorry. I made a mistake.
534
00:26:35,161 --> 00:26:37,881
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,
but my wife has made a mistake.
535
00:26:37,961 --> 00:26:39,481
I don't know how she did it, but she did.
536
00:26:39,561 --> 00:26:41,481
She's made a complete pudding
of the whole thing, as usual.
537
00:26:41,561 --> 00:26:43,841
It'll be perfectly all right for you to stay,
I've sorted it all out.
538
00:26:43,921 --> 00:26:45,681
I'm frightfully sorry,
but you know what women are like.
539
00:26:45,761 --> 00:26:47,041
They've got one brain
between the lot of them,
540
00:26:47,121 --> 00:26:48,921
not all of them, but some of them have,
including my wife.
541
00:26:49,041 --> 00:26:52,641
So please, do stay, and see you all later on.
Thank you so much.
542
00:26:54,961 --> 00:26:59,161
I was just saying please do stay,
my wife made a most dreadful mistake.
543
00:26:59,241 --> 00:27:01,961
Yes, I think she probably did.
544
00:27:08,241 --> 00:27:10,881
- Evening, Fawlty.
- Evening, Major.
545
00:27:10,961 --> 00:27:12,921
- Papers arrived yet?
- Oh, yes.
546
00:27:13,041 --> 00:27:16,201
Sorry they're so late. Didn't get here till 5:00.
Have to have a word with them again.
547
00:27:16,281 --> 00:27:18,441
Where's your lady wife this evening?
548
00:27:18,521 --> 00:27:19,961
She's spending the night at Audrey's.
549
00:27:20,041 --> 00:27:22,881
George has walked out on her again,
so she's in the usual state.
550
00:27:22,961 --> 00:27:25,281
Still, it must have upset her a bit.
551
00:27:25,361 --> 00:27:27,681
Yes, but she makes
such a song and dance about it.
552
00:27:27,761 --> 00:27:31,241
- You don't like Audrey very much, do you?
- Dreadful woman, dreadful.
553
00:27:31,321 --> 00:27:33,681
I think it's very decent of your wife
554
00:27:33,761 --> 00:27:37,601
to go around there,
and to listen to all that rubbish.
555
00:27:37,681 --> 00:27:41,241
- Couldn't do without it, Major.
- She's a fine woman, Mrs Fawlty.
556
00:27:41,321 --> 00:27:43,041
No, no. I wouldn't say that.
557
00:27:43,961 --> 00:27:45,361
No, nor would I.
558
00:27:46,361 --> 00:27:48,761
- Good night, Fawlty.
- Good night, Major.
559
00:27:50,281 --> 00:27:51,641
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ON TAPE)
560
00:27:51,721 --> 00:27:55,361
- Ah, Mr Fawlty.
- Good evening. Sorry.
561
00:27:55,441 --> 00:27:58,361
No, no, don't switch it off. I love Chopin.
562
00:27:58,441 --> 00:28:01,601
Really? Ah, there's your key.
563
00:28:01,681 --> 00:28:05,721
- Ah, it's so romantic.
- Yes, exactly.
564
00:28:05,801 --> 00:28:10,281
- Are you romantic, Mr Fawlty?
- Good God, no.
565
00:28:10,361 --> 00:28:12,361
Well, I think you are.
566
00:28:12,441 --> 00:28:15,081
I think beneath that English exterior
567
00:28:15,161 --> 00:28:19,801
throbs a passion that would make
Lord Byron look like a tobacconist.
568
00:28:19,881 --> 00:28:22,161
No way. No, sorry.
569
00:28:22,241 --> 00:28:24,961
Oh, don't look so bashful.
570
00:28:25,041 --> 00:28:28,001
I won't try and sit on you again.
571
00:28:33,321 --> 00:28:35,721
And where is your charming
wife this evening?
572
00:28:35,801 --> 00:28:38,561
She's spending the night with a friend.
573
00:28:38,641 --> 00:28:40,441
A girl, a lady friend.
574
00:28:40,521 --> 00:28:44,641
- When the cat's away, eh?
- Oh, hardly. Too much to do.
575
00:28:44,721 --> 00:28:47,521
- Well, good night.
- Bonne nuit. Oh, Mr Fawlty?
576
00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:49,361
- Yes?
- Did you fix my window?
577
00:28:49,441 --> 00:28:53,161
- Oh. Damn.
- If you could, please? It's so hot tonight.
578
00:28:53,241 --> 00:28:55,641
Yes. Yes, okay. Right.
579
00:29:06,841 --> 00:29:10,881
- Here we are.
- You're so strong.
580
00:29:10,961 --> 00:29:13,521
Well, I'm sure you are, too,
if you put your mind to it.
581
00:29:13,601 --> 00:29:16,401
Your wife shouldn't leave
you with strange women.
582
00:29:16,481 --> 00:29:18,841
Well, I wouldn't call you that strange.
583
00:29:18,921 --> 00:29:21,681
- Mr Fawlty, you're so charming.
- Only a little.
584
00:29:21,801 --> 00:29:25,081
- Oh, well...
- Do you feel that breeze? Isn't it wonderful?
585
00:29:25,161 --> 00:29:29,041
- Yes, it's nice, isn't it?
- I shall sleep au naturel tonight.
586
00:29:29,961 --> 00:29:33,961
- Good idea, right.
- Only it's not so much fun on your own.
587
00:29:34,041 --> 00:29:37,081
Oh, well. One could always pretend.
Ooh! Twinge from the old leg.
588
00:29:37,161 --> 00:29:39,041
Better go and lie down. Good night.
589
00:29:39,121 --> 00:29:41,481
- Good night.
- Damn shrapnel.
590
00:29:50,321 --> 00:29:51,961
(MANUEL GROANING)
591
00:29:53,081 --> 00:29:54,241
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
592
00:29:55,561 --> 00:29:58,401
- Who is it?
- MRS PEIGNOIR: Mr Fawlty?
593
00:30:02,041 --> 00:30:05,121
- Hello.
- I'm so sorry, but I have to leave early tomorrow.
594
00:30:05,201 --> 00:30:09,441
- Could I have a call at 7:00, please?
- Marvellous. Is that all? Absolutely. 7:00.
595
00:30:09,521 --> 00:30:10,961
Please don't go yet.
596
00:30:12,441 --> 00:30:15,761
- I think you've forgotten something.
- Did I? Damn.
597
00:30:15,841 --> 00:30:17,921
Your recorder.
598
00:30:18,001 --> 00:30:19,841
Oh, thank you.
599
00:30:19,921 --> 00:30:22,881
- You left it in my room.
- Thank you so much.
600
00:30:22,961 --> 00:30:26,521
You left it in my room so you could
come and get it, didn't you?
601
00:30:28,521 --> 00:30:32,601
I'm not having you knocking on my door
in the middle of the night.
602
00:30:35,081 --> 00:30:37,761
- I should cocoa!
- You naughty man.
603
00:30:38,761 --> 00:30:40,721
- Good night.
- (IN STRAINED VOICE) Good night.
604
00:30:53,681 --> 00:30:55,281
(FAKING SNORING)
605
00:30:55,361 --> 00:30:56,881
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
606
00:31:02,721 --> 00:31:05,561
(WHISPERING) Look, go to your room.
I won't ask you again.
607
00:31:05,641 --> 00:31:08,201
- Open the door.
- Listen, I can't.
608
00:31:08,281 --> 00:31:11,241
My wife has just got back unexpectedly.
She's in the bathroom.
609
00:31:11,321 --> 00:31:12,441
(LOUDLY) What, dear?
610
00:31:12,521 --> 00:31:16,121
I think you'll find it on the second shelf,
Sybil darling.
611
00:31:16,241 --> 00:31:19,881
- SYBIL: Let me in, Basil.
- Look, you'll meet somebody else sooner or later.
612
00:31:19,961 --> 00:31:22,241
- SYBIL: Basil!
- Try to control yourself.
613
00:31:22,321 --> 00:31:25,401
- Where do you think you are, Paris?
- Let me in!
614
00:31:25,481 --> 00:31:28,121
Shut up, will you, you silly tart?
615
00:31:28,201 --> 00:31:30,721
Go away. My wife will hear us.
616
00:31:31,481 --> 00:31:33,161
This is your wife.
617
00:31:39,121 --> 00:31:40,601
Oh, what a terrible dream!
618
00:31:48,441 --> 00:31:51,561
- There's a burglar downstairs.
- George got back, did he?
619
00:31:51,641 --> 00:31:53,641
- There's a burglar downstairs!
- What?
620
00:31:53,721 --> 00:31:55,161
A burglar. Quick!
621
00:32:00,161 --> 00:32:01,801
(MANUEL GROANING)
622
00:32:18,161 --> 00:32:19,401
Manuel?
623
00:32:23,841 --> 00:32:25,081
Good night.
624
00:32:27,521 --> 00:32:29,481
We've been to a wedding.
49733
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