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For Taiwan, the 90s was an important era
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in which we went from
a simple, agricultural society
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to that of eye-dazzling commerce.
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At that time, I was a happy photographer
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leading an ordinary life in a small town
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with my beloved daughter.
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She's a big girl at the age of three.
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Aren't you lucky!
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Kuan Kung, the God of War,
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forced through five passes,
slaying six generals.
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He attacked and attacked,
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until there were no more enemies left...
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My dearest daughter,
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this mask of Kuan Kung
is a gift to you from Dad.
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The God of War stands for
righteousness and loyalty.
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Remember that.
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One more. Smile!
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It was during the 90s
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that our society gradually
became more democratic
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and people were starting to get rich.
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At this time my daughter
and I moved to the city,
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to try and make some money.
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Taiwan had just elected
her first president then
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the stock market was skyrocketing
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Cable TV network with over
one hundred channels
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became widely available
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it'll give you an eye sore to try
and watch them all.
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The mobsters were moving up in style,
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their war over controlled territories
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grew ever more intense.
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Slant-head Dragon open fired
in Bang-Kah region
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killing Turnip from Tamshui
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the big boss of Main-Line Alliance
got intercepted
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on his way home
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and shot 36 times
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The head of every gang
wanted to be the king,
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so they decided to
gather everyone for a meeting.
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All the Main-Line Alliance brothers
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and the heads of local gangs
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showed up for this meeting.
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It was an opportunity
all reporters would die for
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but unfortunately, none of them were
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Get lost, weasel!
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Able to get any shots
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except for me.
46
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:19,598
You see, Boss Pinch had
a mistress by the name of Nana
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and I was there to photograph her.
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She loooooved being photographed,
I tell ya.
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I even got shots of her underwear.
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See, my camera was aiming at her breasts
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and she was loving it!
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Ahhhh!
53
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Thank goodness!
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00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:40,629
Magnificent!
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Ahhhh!
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00:03:42,488 --> 00:03:43,768
Don't cover your body like that!
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We'll both break our bones!
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Ya right.
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00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:53,166
Don't just shout there!
Give me a hand, will you?
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00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:56,247
Life is full of twists and turns.
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00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:59,406
I ended up saving Nana's life
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00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,552
and Boss Pinch
commended that I had guts.
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00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,394
He asked me to quit my job
as a photographer
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00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:06,012
and stay at his side.
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00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:09,516
It's a funny thing-
the nicknames those gangsters had.
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00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,387
They're either animals from the zodiac,
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or vegetables and fruits.
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00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:17,092
Some were called Rat, Bull, Black Tiger,
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00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:19,464
Blue Dragon, White Monkey...
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00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:22,436
and some others Gourd,
Turnip, Beancurd, Melon.
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00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,768
Then there were Bell Fruit and Mango
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even Orange!
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Quiet, please.
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Boss Pinch will speak now.
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00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:33,582
It's been a while since I invited
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00:04:33,706 --> 00:04:36,277
everyone here for a drink.
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This is a good opportunity
to sort things out.
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00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:46,062
Some of us here
have certainly been faring well
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00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:48,063
crossing over to others' territories
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00:04:48,154 --> 00:04:49,497
without giving heads up.
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00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:50,789
Give me a cup of coffee.
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00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,624
The line's certainly been crossed.
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Hot, please.
84
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,437
Our patience shouldn't
be tested much longer.
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00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,700
I'd urge everyone to calm down a bit.
86
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,635
Haven't I promised to
buy you all drinks today?
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00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,642
I don't want you getting too upset.
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00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:03,640
Boss Pinch
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00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:07,209
we've all been respectful to you,
90
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:09,547
treating you like an elder.
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00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:13,919
But to tell you the truth,
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00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,549
the times have changed.
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00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:18,629
Aren't you something, White Monkey.
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00:05:19,218 --> 00:05:20,788
You have the nerve to
flash your metal at my place?
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So I brought a gun.
96
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:23,422
Your coffee.
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00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:24,094
What will you do about it?
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00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:25,959
Why is your finger in it?
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00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:27,002
I injured my thumb, and my doctor says
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I should keep it warm.
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You put it in my coffee to keep it warm?
102
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,003
You might as well stick it up your ass!
103
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How do you know?
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00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,040
I've been sticking it up
my ass when I'm networking.
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That you will find out
when you get me all fired up...
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00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:40,214
Jesus Christ!
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00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,978
Stop with all that rambling.
108
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Give me another cup.
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Another cup of hot coffee?
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Iced! You moron!
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Move on!... Motherfuckers!!!
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Who would've thought,
a simple word... "moron"-
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turned my whole life around.
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In one instant,
all the mobsters lost their bosses.
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00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:06,568
The God of War says no.
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00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,173
Boss, it's a no.
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Can you think of anyone else
to take your place?
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Try Winter Melon.
119
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:16,986
The answer is still no.
120
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,347
Anyone else, Boss?
121
00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:23,092
How about Horse Face?
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Still a no.
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Black Hound.
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Still a no.
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Rat!
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No.
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Bell Fruit!
128
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:40,007
No.
129
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,746
Boss, what're we gonna do'?
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Boss, I've brought him.
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You!...You!
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Please don't...
133
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,200
A "Yes!"
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00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:10,265
Boss,
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is he the one?
136
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,172
Just like that, my shoes gave
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the heavenly sign of a "Yes"
138
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to make me the new boss.
139
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In an attempt to
make my reign international
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I gave myself an English name
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[David Loman] David Loman.
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Which basically means, Huge Badass!
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Boss!
144
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Hey, I want to talk to you.
145
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,459
Stop! I want to speak with you...
146
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:58,750
Hey, stop folding my letter.
147
00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:01,722
What're you so nervous for'?
148
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:03,292
Toad, I don't think she's coming.
149
00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:05,020
Why don't we just leave?
150
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,357
What're you talking about...
151
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,829
Hey, hey, there she is.
152
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:13,366
Good luck! Good luck!
153
00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:19,609
Toad, I think we should
make it another day.
154
00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:21,268
I'm uhm...
155
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,995
My throat is feeling a bit funky today.
156
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As your supervisor,
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I order you to go over there, now!
158
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Hurry! Go!
159
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Pardon me. I'd like to speak with you.
160
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U hm... Her.
161
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You don't know me.
162
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That's my supervisor, Toad, over there,
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you don't know him, either.
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He's been dying to know you.
165
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He wants you to have this...
166
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,074
Would you consider going outwith him?
167
00:08:57,236 --> 00:08:58,078
Come here.
168
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,806
What did she say'?
169
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,971
She said only one word.
170
00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:29,275
No?
171
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:32,615
Scram?
172
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:37,084
She couldn't have said 'yes',
could she'?!
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Fuck.
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00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:39,520
She said, "Fuck."
175
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,222
George?
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00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:47,024
Toad, call me Toad.
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00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,425
George.
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Hear me out.
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00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,764
The next time you want to
pick up a girl, do it yourself.
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00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,302
Asking someone else to
hand over a love letter for you
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00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,338
tells me you're a coward
182
00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:58,600
and bore.
183
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:00,170
And you.
184
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:04,509
What's gotten into your head
185
00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,139
picking up a girl for another guy?
186
00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:10,080
Be more creative next time.
187
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:15,892
Those two have
always been waiting out here,
188
00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:17,255
annoying guys!
189
00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:18,054
A couple of days ago,
190
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:20,152
they stood in the rain
in their raincoats
191
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,232
Damn perverts!
192
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:26,831
Oh, she's hot, super hot, hot, hot, hot!
193
00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:28,028
Oops, I'm sorry.
194
00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:30,933
Super hot! Oh, man!
195
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,651
Typhoon coming or something?
196
00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:46,586
What's with you'?
197
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,714
You think you're a movie star?
198
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:50,955
Hello!
199
00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:53,529
Come down and eat!
200
00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:56,791
How old do you think you are'?
201
00:10:56,922 --> 00:11:00,734
I have three girlfriends
even at my age, and you?
202
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:02,562
You don't even have one!
203
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:03,901
You disappointed me!
204
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,670
Just go eat without me!
205
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,313
I'm truly worried about you.
Come down and eat!
206
00:11:40,499 --> 00:11:41,136
Louise was the girlfriend
207
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,247
of the Captain of Special Force.
One day,
208
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:44,040
a teardrop ran down her cheek
209
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:46,013
and landed in the hand of the Captain.
210
00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:47,379
Their love stow became
one of the most beautiful
211
00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:49,611
ever written in the history of mankind.
212
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:56,253
One day, I will meet a girl
213
00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:58,458
and her teardrop will land in my hand
214
00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:00,188
just like that.
215
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,969
What're you looking at? Fuck off!
216
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,509
F u ck off!
217
00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:18,879
F u ck off!
218
00:12:19,004 --> 00:12:20,312
Hey, Super Hero
219
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,527
time to stock up the fridge.
220
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:22,885
You know what?
221
00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:24,385
I've always been bullied as a kid
222
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:25,352
until one day I read about the Captain
223
00:12:25,444 --> 00:12:26,514
of Special Force in the bookstore.
224
00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:28,091
Oh, he's just too amazing.
225
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:30,358
I told myself right then that
226
00:12:30,449 --> 00:12:32,292
I will become a bona-fide
Captain of Taiwan one day!
227
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,398
Heehaw...
228
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,229
I don't mean to say I want to crack down
on criminal organizations,
229
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:38,597
you know, I just want to prove
230
00:12:38,724 --> 00:12:40,499
that justice does exist in the world.
231
00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:41,831
Take these...
232
00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:43,673
You know what... -Here, one more.
233
00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:46,904
Listen, I'm getting off now.
234
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:47,874
Why don't you tend to your work
235
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,240
before going around saving the world'?
236
00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:51,210
First things first, OK?
237
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:56,943
Xiao Ho!
238
00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:58,282
I'm off now. See you.
239
00:12:58,410 --> 00:12:59,616
Later, Toad.
240
00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:05,085
Toad? Did I hear someone
calling me a toad?
241
00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:12,399
Boss, some mango iced tea? (in Mandarin)
242
00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:14,095
What? Someone mangled
my teeth?! (in Taiwanese)
243
00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:15,500
Maybe not.
244
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:18,074
How about... green bean latte?
245
00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:20,007
Grilled Bin Laden? What the hell?!
246
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:21,008
I'm sorry.
247
00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:23,008
What about prune shake?
248
00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:24,705
Pussy shake? Mmm
249
00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:26,544
I like that.
250
00:13:26,672 --> 00:13:27,548
Give me six of them.
251
00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:29,710
I'll ring you up here, Sir.
252
00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:31,254
Ring me up?
253
00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:33,954
Now I haven't heart that one before.
254
00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:35,615
Wow, you look just like my dad!
255
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,091
Say that again?
256
00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:38,422
He says I look like his dad?
257
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,723
More like your
great grandfather I tell ya.
258
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,299
You've got loose screws in your head.
259
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:43,790
Six of those would be 120.
You get two points,
260
00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:45,960
with eight more you get
two Kids R Us grassy
261
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,463
Kiss your arse?
262
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:50,335
Did he just ask me to kiss his ass?
263
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:52,839
Yo, punk head, which gang are you in'?
264
00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:54,840
Give me your name.
265
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,373
Xiao Ho.
266
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:57,945
Little ho?
267
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,016
Did you just call me a little ho?
Fuck you!
268
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:00,779
Fuck you!
269
00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:06,149
Let me ask you again.
270
00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:09,692
What do I get with eight more points?
271
00:14:09,815 --> 00:14:11,522
With eight more points'?
272
00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:13,456
Kids R Us grassy ponies.
273
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,026
Kiss your ass and your grassy penis?
274
00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:18,965
A good lesson for you, motherfucker.
275
00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:19,831
Let's go!
276
00:14:19,992 --> 00:14:21,665
This is the grassy pony...
277
00:14:24,463 --> 00:14:26,465
Go away, all of you.
278
00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:29,613
Don't ever come to
this heartless store again.
279
00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:31,715
Go to that one instead.
280
00:14:31,837 --> 00:14:33,578
Honesty means something over there.
281
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,012
I'll pay him another visit with my guys
282
00:14:36,108 --> 00:14:37,712
in a couple of days.
283
00:14:37,843 --> 00:14:39,845
The store will shut down in no time.
284
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:42,953
Much obliged, Big Boss.
285
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:45,089
This is to show my gratitude.
286
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,457
A thank-you fee, is it?
287
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:47,427
Yes, yes
288
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,157
In check'?
289
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:49,993
In cash.
290
00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:52,568
In cash'?
291
00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:54,246
Only one hundred yuan?!
292
00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:55,169
I'm sorry, Boss.
293
00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:57,934
I promise to have
a much fatter fee for you
294
00:14:58,030 --> 00:14:59,805
when my business blooms.
295
00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:02,210
Oh, forget it.
We are friends, aren't we?
296
00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:03,506
No fee needed from you.
297
00:15:05,604 --> 00:15:08,949
Boss!
- Hello there, Mister Borough Chief.
298
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,250
What can I do for you?
299
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,391
There's this gutter
at the end of our alleyway
300
00:15:14,513 --> 00:15:15,753
which needs cleaning up.
301
00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:17,417
Could you please send someone over
302
00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:19,426
to take care of it, Boss'?
303
00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:20,291
Cleaning up a gutter? isn't that
304
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,865
your job as a borough chief?
305
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:25,026
You asking a thug
to clean up your gutter?
306
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,297
But your gang took over
the entire borough,
307
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:28,564
didn't you'?
308
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:31,937
It says in the contract here,
309
00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:34,709
the party in charge of the "project"
310
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,335
will need to clean up the gutters.
311
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:39,676
They call it "customer service",
you know.
312
00:15:39,805 --> 00:15:43,776
It says on it I need to
clean up the gutters?
313
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:45,013
Yes, it does, Boss.
314
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:46,917
Alright. Fine.
315
00:15:47,179 --> 00:15:47,939
Much obliged, Boss.
316
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:48,584
No problem. Just leave it to me.
317
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:49,624
Thank you, Boss.
318
00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:50,749
Fine.
319
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,290
Hello there, Boss David!
320
00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:58,458
It's you again. You know what,
321
00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:02,902
you remind me so much of my father.
322
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,942
I'm starting to wonder it my father
323
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:07,306
screwed your mother when he was young.
324
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,139
How is it that you look so much like me?
325
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,508
How could that be?
326
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:14,117
The two of us
have such different destinies.
327
00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:16,812
I tell fortunes
and fix feng shui for a living,
328
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,149
and look at you...
329
00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:20,052
you're David, the Big Boss.
330
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:21,055
When you go out you have bodyguards
331
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,057
all around you,
332
00:16:23,182 --> 00:16:25,049
that's so impressive!
333
00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:27,052
You think it's impressive
to have bodyguards?
334
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:29,359
I have them because
I could lose my life any minute!
335
00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:33,631
I would die to live in
your shoes for just one day!
336
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,100
So what brought you here today?
337
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,799
I've come to ask you to give me a few
338
00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:40,136
extra days to pay the protection fee.
339
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:41,505
The protection fee?
340
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,271
Uh, no. It's the management fee.
341
00:16:43,402 --> 00:16:45,177
Now you're talking.
Management fee it is.
342
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:47,978
You mention the words "protection fee"
343
00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:49,795
and some of us will be taken away
344
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:51,081
in a chopper to do time.
345
00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:53,212
Just pay it when you can.
346
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,621
I'm not forcing nobody.
347
00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:57,922
I am so very grateful, Boss David.
348
00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:04,924
Hey, Boss,
349
00:17:05,257 --> 00:17:07,760
that's no way to be a thug.
350
00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:10,067
I'm the son of Boss Pinch
351
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,141
and I just came back from America.
352
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:15,638
I'm here today to reclaim
all of my old man's territories.
353
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:19,347
Is that right?
Just how do you plan on doing that?
354
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:23,553
Simple. You retire and I
take your place as the Boss.
355
00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:27,881
Fair enough.
356
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:31,456
Let me test your courage first.
357
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:32,954
Go pick them up.
358
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,723
Think I'm fucking afraid? I so am not.
359
00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:42,970
Aghhhhhhh... Oh man!
360
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:44,997
Hey! Hey!
361
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:46,337
Hands off! Stay away!
362
00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:48,375
Take him to the hospital at once.
363
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,309
The last one who got poked by me
364
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,348
was bedridden for six months.
365
00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:54,144
His hemorrhoids burst into a mess.
366
00:17:54,873 --> 00:17:57,717
My asshole!
Oh, my ass hole...
367
00:17:57,843 --> 00:17:59,204
I hate it when they speak English.
368
00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:01,224
This friend of mine,
he's got this grandson,
369
00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:02,984
you know what he did?
370
00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:04,992
He called his grandfather
by a foul name.
371
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:05,721
What foul name?
372
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:07,489
He called him "bull's balls".
373
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,041
It's not bull's balls, Boss.
374
00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:10,533
It's Gran-de-pa.
375
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:12,328
Grandpa!
Gran-de-pa!
376
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:13,903
You sure? -Yes.
377
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:16,731
That's my phone.
378
00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:19,034
Could you please change your ring tone?
379
00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:21,570
Didn't I tell you
380
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,680
this song makes me sad?
381
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,281
Very sorry. I forgot to change it.
382
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:26,781
Take your call.
383
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:28,814
Hello?
384
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:30,582
Teacher Chang?
385
00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:34,417
Good day to you... Ah, I see.
386
00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:36,066
Very sorry to have caused you trouble.
387
00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:39,787
What the fuck do you want?
388
00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:42,726
How could you speak like that?
389
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:47,235
Have you forgotten you're a girl
390
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:50,273
and a college student?
391
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:53,236
How come you didn't show up
for your test in school?
392
00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:55,971
If you needed money
393
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,604
you could've just asked me.
394
00:18:57,736 --> 00:18:59,044
Boss, don't be mad. Have a cigarette.
395
00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:00,451
Fuck you! When I'm done with her
396
00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:01,452
I'll beat you to pulp!
397
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:04,954
How dare you hire
my daughter as your mechanic?
398
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:05,643
Please calm down, Boss. I can explain...
399
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:06,645
You're so finished!
400
00:19:06,778 --> 00:19:08,348
It's none of your business!
401
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,460
What do you mean
it's none of my business?
402
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:12,722
I'm your father!
403
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:18,396
My father?
404
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:23,362
Where have you been
405
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:26,408
when I needed you all these years? Huh'?
406
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,470
Daddy
407
00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:31,012
I don't have
a part-time father like you.
408
00:19:31,136 --> 00:19:32,376
Now if you're done talking just scram
409
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:33,847
and stop annoying me.
410
00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:38,184
Watch your mouth, young lady.
411
00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:39,650
You want to fix cars?
412
00:19:39,711 --> 00:19:41,190
Go fix mine.
413
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,589
There's something wrong
with my Mercedes.
414
00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:52,257
Boss, there's no need to get so upset.
415
00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:53,151
Here, have a smoke.
416
00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:55,000
Make yourself disappear, won't you?
417
00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:14,013
A bad thing never dies.
418
00:20:14,112 --> 00:20:15,614
Your car is as strong as you,
419
00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:17,727
not dying for a long while yet.
420
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,168
Get me my metal.
421
00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:47,716
Here! Now ifs damaged.
422
00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:49,292
You can fix it.
423
00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:12,549
Come get it in two weeks.
424
00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:20,016
Did she get that from me,
or from her mother?
425
00:21:20,912 --> 00:21:22,220
Boss, we'd better pay a visit
to Boss Pearl's gambling hall,
426
00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:23,052
to show support.
427
00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:25,252
Support my ass! Call if off!
428
00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:27,887
Boss, but we can't call everything off.
429
00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:29,158
The meeting with all the mob bosses
is next week,
430
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,598
issues regarding
the election are on the agenda
431
00:21:31,723 --> 00:21:33,361
Fine, fine. Where's my damn ride?!
432
00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:38,338
You know how to fucking drive?
433
00:21:38,497 --> 00:21:39,703
You nearly ran me over!
434
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:41,538
Please calm down, Boss... Get in, quick.
435
00:21:44,403 --> 00:21:45,905
Boss, in that case we should
436
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,540
update your Facebook status.
437
00:21:47,673 --> 00:21:48,674
These days all of our brothers are
438
00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:50,617
getting their orders from your fan page.
439
00:21:50,742 --> 00:21:53,120
Call off everything! Cancel them all!
440
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:55,558
Aren't you sick of
playing with that thing yet?
441
00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:57,092
This is important, I tell ya.
In this modern time,
442
00:21:57,215 --> 00:21:57,920
we mobsters need to run everything
443
00:21:58,016 --> 00:21:59,154
like a big enterprise.
444
00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:01,355
I must update things on Facebook
445
00:22:01,453 --> 00:22:03,453
so our brothers out there
can "follow", you get it?
446
00:22:03,455 --> 00:22:04,655
Stop showing off your English.
447
00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:06,225
I don't understand a word.
448
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,464
I'll be an old man before
I can make you understand.
449
00:22:08,627 --> 00:22:10,468
These days even thugs
need to go international.
450
00:22:10,529 --> 00:22:12,133
This morning, the son of Boss Pinch
451
00:22:12,297 --> 00:22:13,071
said something in English
before he left:
452
00:22:13,198 --> 00:22:15,576
"my ass hole." Know what it means?
453
00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:16,581
What the fuck is that?
454
00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:18,012
My butt hole.
455
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,571
So now you remember me.
456
00:22:20,572 --> 00:22:21,906
What the... a butt hole is a butt hole...
457
00:22:21,907 --> 00:22:22,647
I thought you're into
young babes these days.
458
00:22:22,741 --> 00:22:24,948
Don't be jealous, my sweet Nana.
459
00:22:26,545 --> 00:22:31,722
No one makes me happy the way you do...
460
00:22:34,152 --> 00:22:36,257
So, when are we getting married?
461
00:22:36,755 --> 00:22:37,495
Getting married?!
462
00:22:37,622 --> 00:22:38,498
Yes.
463
00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:42,431
David, I've been married six times,
464
00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:44,040
and all of my six husbands died.
465
00:22:44,796 --> 00:22:45,467
According to the Ninth Mother Goddess,
466
00:22:45,630 --> 00:22:47,200
it is my destiny to
bring doom to my husband.
467
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:49,676
So, inevitably,
the man I'm with will die.
468
00:22:49,768 --> 00:22:54,080
I've been with you all these years,
469
00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,617
does that mean my time will be up soon?
470
00:22:55,741 --> 00:22:56,549
Don't you worry a thing.
471
00:22:56,641 --> 00:22:58,086
Those in supporting role will
escape the bad fortune.
472
00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:00,349
Those in supporting role are safe, then?
473
00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:03,824
Makes me happy to hear that... Ouch!
474
00:23:07,085 --> 00:23:08,189
What's wrong?
475
00:23:08,587 --> 00:23:10,897
It's my stomach...
476
00:23:11,022 --> 00:23:13,161
It hurls at the mention of marriage...
477
00:23:13,825 --> 00:23:14,803
You've been spending too much time
478
00:23:14,926 --> 00:23:15,734
with young girls!
It's damaging your health!
479
00:23:15,861 --> 00:23:17,340
Be nice, will ya, Nana?
480
00:23:17,696 --> 00:23:19,004
Got any pills for me?
481
00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:20,075
Those over-the-counter stuff
are no good for you.
482
00:23:20,198 --> 00:23:21,006
I'm taking you to a doctor.
483
00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:22,201
Stand still.
484
00:23:22,367 --> 00:23:23,038
Got it.
485
00:23:24,336 --> 00:23:27,078
When I say go you
will need to stop breathing.
486
00:23:27,205 --> 00:23:28,013
Oh, OK
487
00:23:29,341 --> 00:23:30,342
Here we go.
488
00:23:31,343 --> 00:23:33,220
One, two-Go!
489
00:23:34,212 --> 00:23:34,893
Where's he going?
490
00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:38,026
Doctor, my boss
is used to being on the run,
491
00:23:38,116 --> 00:23:39,789
so it's only natural for him to run
492
00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:42,558
when he hears "go".
493
00:23:42,888 --> 00:23:44,890
I see. Now I understand.
494
00:23:45,290 --> 00:23:47,998
One more time... Here we go
495
00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:51,506
One, two - Don't go!
496
00:23:51,663 --> 00:23:52,573
OK. Not going.
497
00:23:52,697 --> 00:23:55,041
There you go.
You're a professional, Doc.
498
00:23:57,235 --> 00:24:00,114
Things look fine.
499
00:24:00,205 --> 00:24:02,617
Perhaps you've been under
too much stress lately
500
00:24:02,707 --> 00:24:04,744
which has caused gastralgia.
501
00:24:05,143 --> 00:24:07,384
What? What's wrong with my genitalia?
502
00:24:07,512 --> 00:24:09,583
It's my stomach that's the problem.
503
00:24:09,714 --> 00:24:10,590
What're you rambling about?
504
00:24:10,715 --> 00:24:11,853
The doctor is talking about
the nerves in your stomach!
505
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,726
But he said genitalia!
I heard him say that!
506
00:24:14,853 --> 00:24:16,264
Now please go make arrangements
507
00:24:16,388 --> 00:24:17,924
to have your blood,
urine and stool specimen checked.
508
00:24:18,056 --> 00:24:18,727
What?!
509
00:24:19,724 --> 00:24:20,794
You're lucky
I didn't finish you right there.
510
00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:21,460
Please calm down, will you'?
511
00:24:21,626 --> 00:24:23,606
I'll have them shut this place down,
you hear me?!
512
00:24:23,762 --> 00:24:24,570
What's the matter with you?!
513
00:24:24,696 --> 00:24:26,107
Didn't you hear him?
Not only did he want my blood and urine
514
00:24:26,264 --> 00:24:29,837
he was also after my sperm!
515
00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:31,447
Does he think I'm a fag?!!
516
00:24:33,338 --> 00:24:35,875
How's this place good for my sickness?
517
00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:37,042
We are in the presence
of the Ninth Mother Goddess.
518
00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:38,530
I've told you how amazing she is.
519
00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:39,452
The Ninth Mother Goddess?
520
00:24:39,578 --> 00:24:42,957
I've only heard of
the Seventh Mother Goddess
521
00:24:43,281 --> 00:24:43,918
She's the great grandmother
522
00:24:44,049 --> 00:24:46,154
of the Ninth Mother Goddess.
523
00:24:46,284 --> 00:24:49,663
In that case the Deity of
Eight would be her cousin?
524
00:24:50,288 --> 00:24:51,892
Stop with the disrespectful rubbish!
525
00:24:52,023 --> 00:24:53,001
My apologies.
526
00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:00,741
Dark clouds looming
527
00:25:00,899 --> 00:25:02,776
a web of ominous stars trapping you.
528
00:25:02,868 --> 00:25:04,643
You have been
having a streak of bad luck,
529
00:25:04,769 --> 00:25:07,375
nothing is going right for you. Come.
530
00:25:29,928 --> 00:25:32,465
Aghhh!
531
00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:35,206
Oh no...
532
00:25:35,500 --> 00:25:37,980
My daughter is going mad!
533
00:25:38,169 --> 00:25:40,740
Mother Goddess, please save me!
534
00:25:40,872 --> 00:25:42,215
Please save my daughter!
535
00:25:42,340 --> 00:25:44,286
Listen carefully,
536
00:25:44,609 --> 00:25:45,849
the Ninth Mother Goddess
has given her decree:
537
00:25:45,944 --> 00:25:48,515
You have been doomed
due to your evil conduct
538
00:25:48,747 --> 00:25:50,454
but seeing as
how you are a devoted father
539
00:25:50,582 --> 00:25:54,894
the Mother Goddess
is willing to show you a way out.
540
00:25:57,122 --> 00:25:58,999
You are to find someone
541
00:25:59,124 --> 00:26:01,570
to replace you for three days
542
00:26:03,128 --> 00:26:05,472
and this heavenly secret must
be revealed to no one.
543
00:26:05,630 --> 00:26:07,200
That's just impossible.
544
00:26:07,332 --> 00:26:09,812
I'm the boss of more than
a few hundred men,
545
00:26:09,935 --> 00:26:11,812
what would they do without me?
546
00:26:11,937 --> 00:26:14,543
So you think the world
revolves around you?
547
00:26:16,141 --> 00:26:18,519
Don't take your chances
is my advice to you.
548
00:26:18,643 --> 00:26:19,747
Three days
549
00:26:19,878 --> 00:26:21,016
Got it?
550
00:26:21,179 --> 00:26:22,055
Yes, sir.
551
00:26:32,724 --> 00:26:34,499
With this hairdo you lookjust like me.
552
00:26:34,659 --> 00:26:35,467
Oh really?
553
00:26:36,928 --> 00:26:39,408
But wait, if I act in your place,
554
00:26:39,531 --> 00:26:41,636
who will be tending my shop'?
555
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,541
Not to worry.
556
00:26:43,668 --> 00:26:44,646
I'll tend your shop for you,
557
00:26:44,736 --> 00:26:46,306
not much business anyways.
558
00:26:46,471 --> 00:26:49,816
I need to take
a three-day break from my job.
559
00:26:50,041 --> 00:26:52,282
Didn't you say you
wanted to be in my place?
560
00:26:52,410 --> 00:26:53,047
I would love that, but
561
00:26:53,178 --> 00:26:55,283
I don't know how to act like you.
562
00:26:55,413 --> 00:26:56,517
Easy. When someone comes to you
563
00:26:56,615 --> 00:26:58,060
to sort out business, just say
564
00:26:58,183 --> 00:26:59,753
"Fuck! I'll think about it."
565
00:26:59,884 --> 00:27:00,692
That will do.
566
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:03,991
Fuck. I'll think about it.
567
00:27:04,389 --> 00:27:05,697
You've got to act tougher.
568
00:27:05,857 --> 00:27:07,837
Fuck! I'll think about it.
569
00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:09,905
Not bad. Try one more time.
570
00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:12,100
Fuck! I'll think about it.
571
00:27:12,263 --> 00:27:13,469
Perfect!
572
00:27:13,932 --> 00:27:16,173
Just say "Fuck! I'll think about it"
573
00:27:16,334 --> 00:27:17,642
and I can be the Boss?
574
00:27:19,104 --> 00:27:20,378
Hey,
575
00:27:20,505 --> 00:27:22,815
driver, you know
I'm the Boss, don't you?
576
00:27:29,814 --> 00:27:30,656
Boss.
577
00:27:38,023 --> 00:27:39,866
Boss, where have you been all morning?
578
00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:40,833
Where have I been?
579
00:27:40,992 --> 00:27:43,438
Fuck! Where was I'?
580
00:27:43,595 --> 00:27:45,939
No, I mean, "Fuck! I'll think about it."
581
00:27:51,569 --> 00:27:52,343
Here
582
00:27:55,073 --> 00:27:56,575
How come it's not moving?
583
00:27:57,275 --> 00:27:59,016
Boss, you pressed
the wrong button. Here.
584
00:27:59,110 --> 00:28:01,112
When did they change this thing?
585
00:28:01,212 --> 00:28:02,020
They didn't.
586
00:28:02,147 --> 00:28:04,286
They didn't? Tell them to knock it down!
587
00:28:05,350 --> 00:28:06,988
Fuck! Oh, it's here.
588
00:28:12,090 --> 00:28:13,296
Boss!
589
00:28:14,959 --> 00:28:17,462
Boss!
590
00:28:17,762 --> 00:28:18,399
Boss David!
591
00:28:18,563 --> 00:28:19,701
Long time no see!
592
00:28:21,833 --> 00:28:22,333
Boss!
593
00:28:32,210 --> 00:28:33,848
Boss David, make yourself at home.
594
00:28:33,978 --> 00:28:36,549
Sure, sure.
595
00:28:36,681 --> 00:28:39,025
Boss! Boss!
596
00:28:39,117 --> 00:28:41,358
Boss, I thought you and I are buddies...
597
00:28:41,453 --> 00:28:42,090
Are we not?
598
00:28:42,220 --> 00:28:43,290
I can't believe you went
599
00:28:43,421 --> 00:28:45,367
to Black Beauty without me last time!
600
00:28:45,924 --> 00:28:48,165
Fuck! I'll think about it.
601
00:28:48,293 --> 00:28:49,499
Will have you come along next time.
602
00:28:49,661 --> 00:28:51,504
You mean it? Be sure to call me!
603
00:28:52,630 --> 00:28:56,009
Hello, I'm Chen,
604
00:28:56,167 --> 00:28:58,204
[Elephant Chen]! Oh!
Elephant Chen.
605
00:28:58,670 --> 00:28:59,307
That sounded like
"I laundered a lot of money."
606
00:28:59,471 --> 00:29:00,279
What do you know!
607
00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:02,612
I am practicing my English here...
608
00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:04,608
Hello! How do you do!
609
00:29:04,609 --> 00:29:06,486
Boss, I'm very sorry.
610
00:29:06,611 --> 00:29:08,056
Fuck! I'll think...
611
00:29:10,515 --> 00:29:13,553
I'm not done thinking yet
and you fired...
612
00:29:16,354 --> 00:29:20,029
Basee-ke-te-ball, you know?
613
00:29:20,125 --> 00:29:24,301
Basee-ke-te-ball...
614
00:30:17,515 --> 00:30:19,324
What's with your attitude?
615
00:30:19,784 --> 00:30:21,058
Do you know who I am,
616
00:30:21,886 --> 00:30:23,229
little punkass?
617
00:30:30,562 --> 00:30:31,540
Oh mommy...
618
00:30:57,589 --> 00:31:01,230
I... can... F~L~Y!
619
00:31:05,330 --> 00:31:06,308
Damn!
620
00:31:08,666 --> 00:31:10,077
Fuck!
621
00:31:15,673 --> 00:31:16,845
Let go of me!
622
00:31:18,243 --> 00:31:21,053
Get in the damn car!
623
00:31:23,414 --> 00:31:26,486
Let go of me!
624
00:31:30,121 --> 00:31:32,260
Let me go!
625
00:31:32,490 --> 00:31:33,468
Get in the car!
626
00:31:35,193 --> 00:31:36,934
Let go me!
627
00:31:37,028 --> 00:31:38,803
Hello? I'm calling to report a crime
628
00:31:45,436 --> 00:31:46,540
Who do you think you are?
Buzz Lightyear?
629
00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:47,240
Loony!
630
00:31:47,405 --> 00:31:48,213
Are you stoned?
631
00:31:48,339 --> 00:31:49,579
You hear me?
632
00:31:50,408 --> 00:31:51,580
Hey! What're you doing?!
633
00:32:16,734 --> 00:32:17,974
Hey! Stop that.
634
00:32:20,004 --> 00:32:22,211
Hey! Stop that.
635
00:32:26,110 --> 00:32:28,351
Come in, 3017, Come in, 3017.
636
00:32:28,713 --> 00:32:30,153
Stop!
- Have you reached destination?
637
00:32:30,214 --> 00:32:31,352
Please respond at once.
638
00:32:32,583 --> 00:32:34,961
What? David's daughter escaped'?
639
00:32:35,086 --> 00:32:36,224
Find her!
640
00:32:37,155 --> 00:32:38,327
Ouch!
641
00:32:39,324 --> 00:32:40,667
You done yet?
642
00:32:40,825 --> 00:32:42,304
All done, Boss.
643
00:32:44,562 --> 00:32:45,483
The tattoo is finished.
644
00:32:46,331 --> 00:32:48,743
I want to stab a dragon in Bang-Kah,
645
00:32:48,866 --> 00:32:50,470
you know that, don't you'?
646
00:32:50,868 --> 00:32:51,573
Perfect!
647
00:32:51,703 --> 00:32:52,841
Take a look.
648
00:32:56,941 --> 00:32:59,547
Oh my...
649
00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:01,590
A dragon, like you said.
650
00:33:02,814 --> 00:33:04,851
I asked you to tattoo a dragon on me,
651
00:33:04,983 --> 00:33:09,796
and you gave me this!
652
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:30,543
We have some local news for you.
653
00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:32,450
At around three O'clock this afternoon,
654
00:33:32,577 --> 00:33:35,387
a gun was fired in an outdoor bar
655
00:33:35,513 --> 00:33:36,753
in the western district
of Taichung city,
656
00:33:36,881 --> 00:33:38,554
causing one death.
657
00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:39,787
The deceased's name
is reported to be Zhu Dade,
658
00:33:39,917 --> 00:33:42,124
or David Loman, as was known
by most in the mobsters society.
659
00:33:42,253 --> 00:33:43,973
Zhu is reportedly a
mob boss with reputation
660
00:33:44,055 --> 00:33:46,126
and was shot twice during
an event taking place at the bar;
661
00:33:46,257 --> 00:33:48,430
he died at the scene.
662
00:33:48,526 --> 00:33:49,504
According to the police report
663
00:33:49,660 --> 00:33:51,298
the cause of this murder
is likely to be linked
664
00:33:51,462 --> 00:33:52,133
with the disputes over
665
00:33:52,296 --> 00:33:54,435
territories amongst local mobsters.
666
00:34:38,709 --> 00:34:39,517
Your flesh wounds will heal
667
00:34:39,610 --> 00:34:41,590
in about two weeks' time,
668
00:34:41,712 --> 00:34:43,885
but as your sympathetic nerves
have been damaged,
669
00:34:44,015 --> 00:34:45,619
I'm afraid for the rest of your life,
670
00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:47,730
you will no longer feel pain.
671
00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:56,670
Hey, Buzz Lightyear,
672
00:34:56,828 --> 00:35:01,299
do you always walk around
at night dressed like that?
673
00:35:04,202 --> 00:35:06,876
That was the Captain of Special Force
walking in the night.
674
00:35:07,004 --> 00:35:10,417
We need more heroes
like him in this world.
675
00:35:10,875 --> 00:35:13,856
Tell you a secret, he is my idol.
676
00:35:14,879 --> 00:35:18,190
Ah, I see. The captain that
got beat up was your idol.
677
00:35:18,483 --> 00:35:19,723
No no...
678
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,027
You see, you are OK.
679
00:35:23,421 --> 00:35:25,594
Everything that happened
was meant to be.
680
00:35:25,723 --> 00:35:26,724
You know what?
681
00:35:27,391 --> 00:35:28,426
I don't feel any more pain from now on.
682
00:35:28,559 --> 00:35:30,163
I can fight like a mad dog!
683
00:35:30,928 --> 00:35:33,841
You nuts? You're such a moron.
684
00:35:34,365 --> 00:35:35,139
Feeling no pain doesn't mean
685
00:35:35,299 --> 00:35:38,837
you won't bleed... Eat your food.
686
00:35:45,076 --> 00:35:47,750
Hey, why did those people kidnap you?
687
00:35:48,679 --> 00:35:50,090
How would I know?
688
00:35:51,082 --> 00:35:52,459
Probably had to do with my dad.
689
00:35:54,819 --> 00:35:55,593
Your dad?
690
00:35:57,955 --> 00:36:00,595
That day outside of school,
691
00:36:00,758 --> 00:36:01,918
I was pretty nasty, wasn't I?
692
00:36:01,959 --> 00:36:04,530
Not really. You were just right.
693
00:36:04,662 --> 00:36:06,608
Toad was such a loser.
694
00:36:06,731 --> 00:36:08,811
He always asked me to do
embarrassing things for him.
695
00:36:10,301 --> 00:36:11,712
What are you saying?
696
00:36:12,770 --> 00:36:14,977
It was embarrassing
to hand me a lover letter?
697
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:17,748
No... No...
698
00:36:18,809 --> 00:36:19,913
I'm warning you,
699
00:36:20,044 --> 00:36:22,547
don't ever let me hear
you pair me up with him.
700
00:36:22,980 --> 00:36:24,926
So his name is Toad? What's yours?
701
00:36:25,049 --> 00:36:26,528
Froggv?
702
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:27,720
Make a frog face!
703
00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:30,458
We now tune in to some local news.
704
00:36:30,588 --> 00:36:32,795
In the western district of Taichung city
A gunfire was heard this afternoon.
705
00:36:32,957 --> 00:36:33,623
Thanks!
706
00:36:33,624 --> 00:36:35,425
The suspect had reportedly
tailed a mob boss
707
00:36:35,426 --> 00:36:37,428
by the name of Zhu Dade,
known by many as David,
708
00:36:37,595 --> 00:36:40,633
and shot him twice in the vital parts,
taking his life.
709
00:36:40,798 --> 00:36:41,674
The police tells us, the motive
behind the killing is very likely
710
00:36:41,799 --> 00:36:44,302
to be linked with the disputes
amongst local mobsters
711
00:36:44,468 --> 00:36:45,789
over their conflict of interests.
712
00:36:45,870 --> 00:36:47,042
Yes, according to
our investigations thus far,
713
00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:49,811
the incident has much to do with
the disputes amongst local mobsters.
714
00:36:49,907 --> 00:36:55,186
Hey, I knew this man.
715
00:36:55,279 --> 00:36:59,883
We have narrowed down
our search to one suspect.
716
00:36:59,884 --> 00:37:00,692
This can't be I don't believe it!
717
00:37:00,818 --> 00:37:02,058
Hey! Hey!
718
00:37:02,386 --> 00:37:06,857
David, please forgive me
for being cruel.
719
00:37:06,991 --> 00:37:09,028
I did give you a chance,
though, didn't I?
720
00:37:09,126 --> 00:37:10,036
And what did you do?
721
00:37:10,127 --> 00:37:11,435
You stuck your dirty fingers
722
00:37:11,596 --> 00:37:13,974
up my beautiful flower.
723
00:37:14,465 --> 00:37:16,672
Oh Well, I'll let bygones be bygones,
724
00:37:16,801 --> 00:37:19,782
as I'm a forgiving man.
725
00:37:19,870 --> 00:37:22,646
Just to let you know, as I worry you
might get bored down there,
726
00:37:22,773 --> 00:37:26,311
I've sent over your young followers
to keep you company.
727
00:37:27,712 --> 00:37:29,487
Oh and by the way,
728
00:37:29,580 --> 00:37:31,526
if you run into my old man,
729
00:37:31,649 --> 00:37:33,629
do remember to give him my regards.
730
00:37:38,422 --> 00:37:39,423
Yay!
731
00:37:41,959 --> 00:37:44,963
This means, cigarette, please. Get it?
732
00:37:45,696 --> 00:37:47,004
I forgot to bring cigarettes...
733
00:37:50,668 --> 00:37:53,478
Auntie Nana, the man is dead,
734
00:37:53,571 --> 00:37:55,881
don't waste your tears.
735
00:37:56,007 --> 00:37:58,009
Take good care of yourself.
736
00:38:19,630 --> 00:38:23,669
This is your checkup report.
737
00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:27,980
It says you have
advanced gastric cancer.
738
00:38:30,541 --> 00:38:32,382
I wasn't sure how to
break the bad news to you,
739
00:38:32,410 --> 00:38:36,984
was planning on keeping it a secret.
740
00:38:41,118 --> 00:38:42,791
But I guess I don't have to now.
741
00:38:44,121 --> 00:38:46,397
You will no longer
suffer from your illness.
742
00:38:48,225 --> 00:38:51,832
I have had many men in my life,
they all came and went.
743
00:38:57,468 --> 00:38:59,311
But you were
the most important of them all.
744
00:38:59,904 --> 00:39:01,611
I didn't want to
marry you all those years
745
00:39:01,739 --> 00:39:03,580
because I didn't want you
to die because of me.
746
00:39:03,941 --> 00:39:06,547
I never imagined things
would end up this way,
747
00:39:06,677 --> 00:39:09,117
that you would be released
from your supporting role so early.
748
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:27,403
I always knew there'd be such a day.
749
00:39:29,266 --> 00:39:31,268
Only I never thought it
would come so soon.
750
00:39:48,219 --> 00:39:51,393
This was from you.
I don't want it anymore.
751
00:39:51,522 --> 00:39:52,626
You can have it back.
752
00:39:53,557 --> 00:39:54,399
When I was little,
753
00:39:54,492 --> 00:39:56,494
you often told me stories
about the God of War.
754
00:39:57,962 --> 00:40:00,670
I'd always hoped for you
to become someone like Kuang Kung,
755
00:40:00,831 --> 00:40:04,540
someone loyal and brave,
someone who helps the world rid of evil.
756
00:40:04,668 --> 00:40:07,649
But instead, you became
the biggest thug of them all...
757
00:40:07,738 --> 00:40:08,808
Dad,
758
00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:12,115
how could you leave me just like that'?
759
00:40:14,278 --> 00:40:16,417
You know why I hated you?
760
00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:19,387
I hated you because I was afraid!
761
00:40:21,385 --> 00:40:22,386
I was afraid you would leave
762
00:40:22,486 --> 00:40:24,762
so suddenly like you did now!
763
00:40:25,890 --> 00:40:28,496
So all I could do was make up
the lie of hating you.
764
00:40:28,626 --> 00:40:31,300
I had to tell myself I didn't love you!
765
00:40:32,463 --> 00:40:36,036
Didn't you say you had
more stories to tell me?
766
00:40:37,401 --> 00:40:39,904
I'm right here,
767
00:40:40,037 --> 00:40:41,677
I've waited for you
for twenty some years.
768
00:40:41,705 --> 00:40:44,015
Come out of your grave now!
769
00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:48,985
How could you leave me all by myself?!
770
00:41:26,484 --> 00:41:27,224
Dad?
771
00:41:27,318 --> 00:41:28,626
You're home, Dad?
772
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:31,422
I brought you some lunch.
773
00:41:31,555 --> 00:41:32,761
I'm going up.
774
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:37,833
By the way, Dad,
775
00:41:38,729 --> 00:41:39,707
I believe
776
00:41:39,830 --> 00:41:41,870
you can stop paying
that protection fee from now on.
777
00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:44,707
Boss David... is dead.
778
00:41:46,203 --> 00:41:47,375
Eat your lunch before it gets cold.
779
00:41:47,505 --> 00:41:49,576
I'm not hungry right now.
780
00:41:50,007 --> 00:41:51,486
I will eat later.
781
00:42:05,623 --> 00:42:06,931
You're not my father!
782
00:42:09,326 --> 00:42:10,396
Who are you?
783
00:42:14,298 --> 00:42:16,005
You are David!
784
00:42:18,335 --> 00:42:19,541
Where's my father?
785
00:42:19,670 --> 00:42:20,910
Your father...
786
00:42:21,038 --> 00:42:23,245
Tell me!
787
00:42:23,374 --> 00:42:24,614
Aren't you dead already?
788
00:42:24,742 --> 00:42:26,722
I saw the news on TV,
they said you're dead!
789
00:42:29,847 --> 00:42:30,450
I have to call the police.
790
00:42:30,581 --> 00:42:31,855
I'm calling the police.
791
00:42:31,949 --> 00:42:34,122
Hey, you can't do that...
Don't call the police!
792
00:42:36,820 --> 00:42:38,800
Stay away from me.
I'm calling the police now.
793
00:42:46,497 --> 00:42:47,532
How dare you hit...
794
00:42:55,739 --> 00:42:56,911
Murderer!
795
00:42:57,041 --> 00:42:58,042
You're a murderer!
796
00:42:58,208 --> 00:42:59,983
I want you to pay for his life!
797
00:43:00,744 --> 00:43:04,351
You can have your revenge,
798
00:43:04,481 --> 00:43:05,824
but not until I finish
telling you what happened.
799
00:43:05,916 --> 00:43:06,917
After that, you can do
what you wish with me.
800
00:43:07,051 --> 00:43:09,031
Stop all that bullshit! Let me go!
801
00:43:11,088 --> 00:43:14,092
Your father had always
wanted to be the Boss,
802
00:43:14,858 --> 00:43:17,395
he'd asked me many times to let him try.
803
00:43:17,995 --> 00:43:20,441
I thought I'd make his wish come true,
804
00:43:20,531 --> 00:43:22,101
so I let him be the Boss.
805
00:43:22,266 --> 00:43:24,576
How could I know it would kill him?
806
00:43:24,702 --> 00:43:26,375
Now, for the record,
807
00:43:26,503 --> 00:43:28,005
I did not kill your father.
808
00:43:28,172 --> 00:43:30,015
You're such a loser!
809
00:43:30,808 --> 00:43:32,845
You asked my father
to be your scapegoat!
810
00:43:32,943 --> 00:43:34,183
Hey!
811
00:43:34,278 --> 00:43:35,018
I'm a man of great courage,
812
00:43:35,112 --> 00:43:37,615
I would admit what I did do.
813
00:43:37,748 --> 00:43:39,386
But I did not kill your father.
814
00:43:39,483 --> 00:43:41,156
Pinch Junior was the one who killed him.
815
00:43:41,285 --> 00:43:42,821
You think I'll believe you?!
816
00:43:43,487 --> 00:43:44,795
I, too,
817
00:43:44,922 --> 00:43:47,801
feel terribly sad about
your father's passing.
818
00:43:48,192 --> 00:43:50,468
But if you killed me,
819
00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:52,972
you would not have avenged his death.
820
00:43:53,030 --> 00:43:55,032
Let me tell you one thing
821
00:43:55,199 --> 00:43:56,701
without me,
822
00:43:56,867 --> 00:43:58,744
you wouldn't be able to
have your revenge.
823
00:44:40,210 --> 00:44:43,748
Hahahaha...
824
00:44:46,417 --> 00:44:48,556
Hahahaha...
825
00:44:53,757 --> 00:44:54,633
Where am I?
826
00:44:54,792 --> 00:44:59,002
Where do you think?
827
00:45:00,798 --> 00:45:01,640
Motherfuckers!
828
00:45:06,303 --> 00:45:08,283
You wanted to help me with my revenge?
829
00:45:08,372 --> 00:45:09,715
Yeah, right.
830
00:45:11,141 --> 00:45:14,987
If I were ten years younger,
831
00:45:15,079 --> 00:45:20,586
I could beat a pack of
teenagers all by myself,
832
00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:22,026
I tell ya.
833
00:45:31,962 --> 00:45:33,236
Why did you try to save me'?
834
00:45:33,363 --> 00:45:35,070
Ouch... Ouch... Don't hit him,
835
00:45:35,199 --> 00:45:36,269
just hit me. Hit me!
836
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:37,504
Oh, man,
837
00:45:37,668 --> 00:45:39,841
that's my kidney you're beating... Fuck!
838
00:45:42,306 --> 00:45:46,413
Without your father,
I wouldn't still be here.
839
00:45:47,010 --> 00:45:49,547
I can't let you get hurt.
840
00:45:50,681 --> 00:45:51,352
I'd be thanking Lord Jesus
841
00:45:51,448 --> 00:45:53,216
if I didn't have to look after you.
842
00:45:53,217 --> 00:45:54,161
Hallelujah.
843
00:45:54,284 --> 00:45:55,661
God, your kungfu was so lousy...
844
00:45:58,222 --> 00:45:59,667
Kungfu?
845
00:45:59,990 --> 00:46:01,060
Aha!
846
00:46:01,458 --> 00:46:02,801
Why hadn't I thought of him?
847
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:03,734
Who?
848
00:46:23,914 --> 00:46:25,484
Tell me what you want.
849
00:46:31,522 --> 00:46:32,466
A pork hawker?
850
00:46:33,190 --> 00:46:34,601
Even if you don't know the guy,
851
00:46:34,758 --> 00:46:35,998
I'm sure you've seen his face before.
852
00:46:36,126 --> 00:46:37,161
He was the armed guard
853
00:46:37,294 --> 00:46:39,672
of former president D.H. Lee.
854
00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:42,835
Everyone called him Silly Pork.
855
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:44,741
Wherever Mr. Lee went,
856
00:46:44,868 --> 00:46:46,643
he went. He was always alert,
857
00:46:46,737 --> 00:46:49,217
even when picking his nose.
858
00:46:49,373 --> 00:46:52,582
When I first came to Taipei
and had no place to live,
859
00:46:52,709 --> 00:46:55,121
I slept on his couch.
860
00:46:55,245 --> 00:46:57,748
He and I got through
some tough times together.
861
00:46:58,749 --> 00:47:01,059
Get in your positions...
862
00:47:03,153 --> 00:47:05,155
Pork belly, spare ribs, pork knuckle,
863
00:47:05,255 --> 00:47:07,257
the head skin,
pork tenderloin, inner belly,
864
00:47:07,391 --> 00:47:09,302
the hind leg, hooks, shoulder blade,
865
00:47:09,426 --> 00:47:12,032
pork heart, pork tail, pork ear...
866
00:47:12,563 --> 00:47:14,600
Everyone-Attention!
867
00:47:22,105 --> 00:47:25,314
The shop is now closed.
See you tomorrow morning!
868
00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:28,850
We'll be back tomorrow.
869
00:47:29,980 --> 00:47:31,482
Silly Pork!
870
00:47:32,316 --> 00:47:33,124
Who are you?
871
00:47:33,550 --> 00:47:34,756
I'm David!
872
00:47:36,420 --> 00:47:38,457
I hardly recognized you with this hair.
873
00:47:38,589 --> 00:47:39,363
I saw in the news that you died.
874
00:47:39,456 --> 00:47:41,163
I knew it couldn't be true.
875
00:47:49,366 --> 00:47:50,845
It's been such a long time.
876
00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:54,349
So, what have you come to see me for'?
877
00:47:54,471 --> 00:47:55,211
For something very important.
878
00:47:55,339 --> 00:47:56,909
I need you to teach me kungfu.
879
00:47:57,307 --> 00:47:58,615
Kungfu? -Yes.
880
00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:04,725
Silly Pork, you gave out
all those pork for free'?
881
00:48:05,148 --> 00:48:08,061
Teaching kungfu is
how I make a real living.
882
00:48:08,819 --> 00:48:10,264
With what I charge for the lessons,
883
00:48:10,387 --> 00:48:11,923
what's a little free pork?
884
00:48:12,656 --> 00:48:14,497
And they called him silly.
He's no fool at all.
885
00:48:14,558 --> 00:48:16,469
As for you two, I'll teach you for free.
886
00:48:16,627 --> 00:48:18,197
Oh, thank you. We need this.
887
00:48:18,295 --> 00:48:19,175
Hear me out. There are
888
00:48:19,296 --> 00:48:20,741
hundreds of kungfu techniques out there,
889
00:48:20,831 --> 00:48:23,141
but there's only one that
can be learned quickly.
890
00:48:23,300 --> 00:48:26,179
Which is that?
- Put your finger up here.
891
00:48:26,670 --> 00:48:27,341
OK.
892
00:48:27,471 --> 00:48:29,542
This technique is
one of the most invincible.
893
00:48:29,673 --> 00:48:31,193
If you practice the way I tell you to,
894
00:48:31,208 --> 00:48:33,381
in theory, you will succeed in no time.
895
00:48:34,678 --> 00:48:38,023
That easy'?
What does it mean, "in theory?"
896
00:48:38,515 --> 00:48:40,017
Well, in theory, a good nail
does not fear the hammer.
897
00:48:40,117 --> 00:48:42,893
If you bang on your finger constantly,
898
00:48:43,020 --> 00:48:46,399
day in and day out, after some time,
899
00:48:46,523 --> 00:48:50,835
your finger will become so strong
there's nothing it can't break.
900
00:48:50,994 --> 00:48:51,995
Banging?
901
00:48:52,129 --> 00:48:55,133
What's my finger doing here, then'?
902
00:48:55,299 --> 00:48:59,679
Aggghhhhh... l curse you
in the name of my granny
903
00:49:32,035 --> 00:49:33,776
Watch me!
904
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:46,950
Now you watch me!
If you can do it, I can.
905
00:49:47,117 --> 00:49:48,858
Oh damn...
906
00:49:49,386 --> 00:49:51,457
Let's warm up for
the One-Finger Technique.
907
00:49:51,588 --> 00:49:53,534
Ready, go!
908
00:50:39,169 --> 00:50:40,705
Get in your stances!
909
00:50:49,980 --> 00:50:52,654
Master, look at my finger!
910
00:50:52,783 --> 00:50:54,160
You sure we need to go on?
911
00:50:56,586 --> 00:50:57,360
Does it still hurt?
912
00:50:57,487 --> 00:50:59,125
Of course it still hurts!
913
00:51:00,524 --> 00:51:01,594
Keep going until you can laugh at it.
914
00:51:01,758 --> 00:51:03,260
Then you have mastered the technique.
915
00:51:03,393 --> 00:51:04,872
You gotta be kidding me.
916
00:51:04,995 --> 00:51:06,872
Let's keep going.
917
00:51:07,064 --> 00:51:07,872
Laugh you say'?
918
00:51:09,633 --> 00:51:12,580
Am I not laughing already?
919
00:51:39,396 --> 00:51:41,342
OK, enough.
920
00:51:41,465 --> 00:51:42,034
You mean it?
921
00:51:42,199 --> 00:51:43,109
You can stop that.
922
00:51:43,834 --> 00:51:46,178
Thank you, Master! Thank you!
923
00:51:46,269 --> 00:51:47,339
Now try this. Hold him.
924
00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:49,675
Hold him.
925
00:51:49,773 --> 00:51:51,582
You can kill an ox with that thing!
926
00:51:51,708 --> 00:51:54,279
Why me? ...Aghhhhh!...
927
00:52:03,553 --> 00:52:07,194
Pull yourself together. Lift your feet!
928
00:52:09,926 --> 00:52:11,064
Slacking off?
929
00:52:19,369 --> 00:52:20,347
Louder!
930
00:52:22,005 --> 00:52:23,541
Even louder!
931
00:52:53,036 --> 00:52:55,175
I told you not to cheat like that.
932
00:52:55,372 --> 00:52:57,443
Cheating is not a noble act,
especially at your age.
933
00:53:50,327 --> 00:53:53,740
I did it! I did it!
934
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:32,302
The One-Finger Technique I taught you
935
00:54:32,469 --> 00:54:35,006
is long lost in the world of Kungfu.
936
00:54:35,171 --> 00:54:37,549
You are not to use it
unless absolutely necessary.
937
00:54:38,842 --> 00:54:39,946
With what you've learned so far -
938
00:54:40,076 --> 00:54:41,680
and I'm not bragging -
939
00:54:41,778 --> 00:54:44,384
you could easily
defeat a few burly guys.
940
00:54:44,514 --> 00:54:45,686
That's so good to hear.
941
00:54:57,027 --> 00:54:57,528
Hello?
942
00:54:57,694 --> 00:54:58,297
Where has that stinky old man
943
00:54:58,428 --> 00:54:59,498
of yours disappeared to?
944
00:54:59,663 --> 00:55:00,971
Uhm, he...
945
00:55:01,398 --> 00:55:02,240
he's with me now
946
00:55:02,399 --> 00:55:03,844
Pass him the phone! -But...
947
00:55:03,967 --> 00:55:04,968
You get him on the phone right now!
948
00:55:05,135 --> 00:55:05,806
OK...
949
00:55:08,038 --> 00:55:09,399
Ellie Gunter wants to talk to you.
950
00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:11,546
What? An alligator?
951
00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:14,911
Ellie is one of my father's girlfriends.
952
00:55:17,881 --> 00:55:19,383
I see... hello?
- Who's alligator? Your new chick?
953
00:55:19,516 --> 00:55:20,085
I'm warning you, you better
954
00:55:20,216 --> 00:55:21,718
get your ass back here in three days,
955
00:55:21,851 --> 00:55:23,296
or I'll have you nailed in court!
956
00:55:23,420 --> 00:55:25,730
You irresponsible prick!
957
00:55:26,956 --> 00:55:28,299
Boy is she a screamer.
958
00:55:31,528 --> 00:55:33,337
You see, my father
had three girlfriends.
959
00:55:33,496 --> 00:55:34,304
The three of them got together
and opened up a karaoke joint
960
00:55:34,464 --> 00:55:36,501
called "The Three Flowers"
to support themselves.
961
00:55:36,666 --> 00:55:40,478
It's time you went
and told them the truth.
962
00:55:40,570 --> 00:55:42,379
Your father had three girlfriends?
963
00:55:42,505 --> 00:55:44,576
He had some virility.
964
00:55:45,742 --> 00:55:47,380
I'm impressed.
965
00:55:53,350 --> 00:55:55,489
What's gotten into you?
966
00:55:55,618 --> 00:55:57,757
Say something!
967
00:55:57,887 --> 00:55:58,957
I have no undies on
968
00:55:59,089 --> 00:56:01,069
like you wanted. Happy?
969
00:56:01,191 --> 00:56:03,637
See my heavy makeup?
I put it on just for you!
970
00:56:03,793 --> 00:56:04,771
We're barely keeping this place alive,
971
00:56:04,928 --> 00:56:06,965
might as well shut it down
972
00:56:07,097 --> 00:56:08,269
You can't just shut it down!
973
00:56:08,431 --> 00:56:11,071
It's not something to
make a rash decision over...
974
00:56:19,576 --> 00:56:20,520
What is it?
975
00:56:21,311 --> 00:56:23,313
Oh-my-lord...
976
00:56:23,747 --> 00:56:25,727
You're not Old Ho!
977
00:56:25,849 --> 00:56:29,228
You're twice his size!
978
00:56:29,786 --> 00:56:30,628
Oh wow...
979
00:56:32,889 --> 00:56:33,489
twice his size?
980
00:56:33,590 --> 00:56:37,766
Ladies, something happened...
please let me explain...
981
00:56:38,962 --> 00:56:40,134
Hey, you explain!
982
00:56:41,464 --> 00:56:42,943
Stinky Old Ho,
983
00:56:43,032 --> 00:56:44,909
why must you send someone like this
984
00:56:45,034 --> 00:56:49,813
dickhead to torment us after your death?
985
00:56:49,906 --> 00:56:53,752
Oh, fuck it! I'll take you
on with all I've got!
986
00:57:00,550 --> 00:57:05,431
You sure look just like our Old Ho.
987
00:57:05,555 --> 00:57:07,865
You know, I've been with him
for twenty some years now,
988
00:57:08,224 --> 00:57:10,295
it wouldn't be easy to try
989
00:57:14,664 --> 00:57:18,612
and be with someone new
990
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:27,144
But you see,
I'm the hottest amongst us three.
991
00:57:28,244 --> 00:57:30,850
Perhaps it's not a bad idea that you
and I give it a try...
992
00:57:30,980 --> 00:57:33,358
I promise I'll make you so
993
00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:35,293
happy with my tricks that you'll...
994
00:57:35,852 --> 00:57:36,523
C'mon, give me a kiss!
995
00:57:36,619 --> 00:57:39,065
Here, some grapes for you, my dear.
996
00:57:40,223 --> 00:57:44,103
Tough guy, when Old Ho was alive,
997
00:57:44,227 --> 00:57:48,437
I was his favorite flower
amongst the three.
998
00:57:48,998 --> 00:57:50,875
Let me be frank with you.
999
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:53,708
In a way, he died for you, didn't he?
1000
00:57:53,837 --> 00:57:56,647
To repay your debt to him,
1001
00:57:56,739 --> 00:57:59,185
I suggest you sleep with me.
1002
00:57:59,843 --> 00:58:04,986
Our man died in your place.
1003
00:58:05,114 --> 00:58:08,652
He left the three of us
old rags for you,
1004
00:58:08,751 --> 00:58:11,595
aren't you fucking lucky!
1005
00:58:11,721 --> 00:58:13,928
Motherfucker!
1006
00:58:14,057 --> 00:58:16,731
Old Ho used to go three times a night.
1007
00:58:16,893 --> 00:58:18,065
How about you'?
1008
00:58:18,194 --> 00:58:19,639
No... l can't do that...
1009
00:58:19,762 --> 00:58:20,536
Fuck!
1010
00:58:20,663 --> 00:58:22,423
I meant he got up
three times a night to pee.
1011
00:58:22,565 --> 00:58:23,771
What were you thinking of?
1012
00:58:23,867 --> 00:58:24,845
I see... scared me for a second.
1013
00:58:25,001 --> 00:58:29,541
Old Ho used to be able
to hold it in for a long time.
1014
00:58:29,672 --> 00:58:30,650
Can you'?
1015
00:58:30,773 --> 00:58:31,808
I can't.
1016
00:58:31,908 --> 00:58:34,149
Oh, please.
1017
00:58:34,244 --> 00:58:35,689
I was talking about
his prostate problem.
1018
00:58:35,812 --> 00:58:39,316
What did you think I was talking about?
1019
00:58:40,917 --> 00:58:42,278
Think you can do better than him'?
1020
00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:43,956
Of course.
1021
00:58:44,087 --> 00:58:46,089
I can go at least twice a week,
1022
00:58:46,222 --> 00:58:47,394
and I can hold it in for a long time!
1023
00:58:47,524 --> 00:58:48,127
WOW!
1024
00:58:48,258 --> 00:58:49,328
He can hold it in for a long time...
1025
00:58:49,459 --> 00:58:50,961
And I'm not talking about peeing.
1026
00:58:51,060 --> 00:58:53,131
Not peeing?
1027
00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:54,273
What, then'?
1028
00:58:54,430 --> 00:58:57,138
Constipation, damn it!
1029
00:58:57,300 --> 00:58:59,302
Have you girls taken me for a fool?
1030
00:58:59,469 --> 00:59:00,743
Cha cha aha...
1031
00:59:01,504 --> 00:59:03,279
Mr. Cha Cha is here!
1032
00:59:03,406 --> 00:59:07,479
Oh, hello! You bad girl ♪1,
you bad girl ♪2. Let's aha cha cha!
1033
00:59:09,512 --> 00:59:10,513
Ya!
1034
00:59:13,149 --> 00:59:13,789
I'm sorry, Boss.
1035
00:59:13,883 --> 00:59:15,055
I promise to have
a much fatter fee for you
1036
00:59:15,184 --> 00:59:17,061
when my business blooms.
1037
00:59:17,186 --> 00:59:20,030
Can't believe you're the same guy.
1038
00:59:20,156 --> 00:59:22,136
I thought you're having
a tough time financially?
1039
00:59:23,793 --> 00:59:24,737
Have you forgotten all about Mr. Cha Cha
1040
00:59:24,827 --> 00:59:26,636
just because he hasn't
come around lately?
1041
00:59:27,397 --> 00:59:29,035
He's been making loads of money
1042
00:59:29,165 --> 00:59:30,143
with his real restate business.
1043
00:59:30,300 --> 00:59:31,301
That's right!
1044
00:59:31,634 --> 00:59:34,774
Then how come you only
paid 100 yuan to Boss David?
1045
00:59:35,371 --> 00:59:37,681
How did you know that'?
1046
00:59:38,975 --> 00:59:42,218
Ahh... l get it. You only paid 100, too,
1047
00:59:42,345 --> 00:59:43,415
didn't you'?
1048
00:59:43,546 --> 00:59:44,524
Right, right.
1049
00:59:44,647 --> 00:59:46,767
That David, he's
but an idiot pretending to be a thug.
1050
00:59:46,816 --> 00:59:48,295
One hundred is more than enough.
1051
00:59:48,418 --> 00:59:49,761
Oh, fuck!
1052
00:59:49,886 --> 00:59:52,389
Shut it! Talking is
such a waste of time.
1053
00:59:52,522 --> 00:59:54,524
Let's go sing karaoke! Let's go!
1054
00:59:54,624 --> 00:59:56,225
Great idea!
Let's play your favorite tune
1055
00:59:56,259 --> 00:59:57,329
and you'll have to dance for us!
1056
00:59:57,460 --> 01:00:00,236
Music... play that music!
1057
01:00:00,363 --> 01:00:03,674
No music no dancing... Cha cha cha...
1058
01:00:13,409 --> 01:00:16,015
Let's shake our booties
1059
01:00:16,579 --> 01:00:19,253
Burning up with the fire of love
1060
01:00:19,749 --> 01:00:22,093
Dancing up the Cha-Cha of love
1061
01:00:22,885 --> 01:00:29,359
Oh, Cha-Cha of love,
how beautiful, wild and charming
1062
01:00:29,492 --> 01:00:30,436
Doodoodoodoodoo
1063
01:00:31,027 --> 01:00:32,005
Doodoodoodoodoo
1064
01:00:32,795 --> 01:00:33,466
Doodoodoodoodoo
1065
01:00:33,696 --> 01:00:39,203
Doodoodoodoodoo
1066
01:00:40,203 --> 01:00:45,203
Just go dancing.One, two, three, four!
1067
01:00:45,775 --> 01:00:48,910
Two & three & four & one
1068
01:00:48,911 --> 01:00:49,444
Old Ho, I must say I'm impressed.
1069
01:00:49,445 --> 01:00:49,711
Move your booty, then lock
1070
01:00:49,712 --> 01:00:51,316
You were quite something
1071
01:00:51,447 --> 01:00:53,582
to be able to handle these three.
1072
01:00:53,583 --> 01:00:54,186
Cha-cha, cha-cha-cha
1073
01:00:54,317 --> 01:00:55,489
Doodoodoodoodoo
1074
01:01:49,772 --> 01:01:53,276
Hello? -Jin? Pinch Junior
is now here at my joint.
1075
01:01:53,409 --> 01:01:55,389
He's been inquiring your whereabouts.
1076
01:01:55,478 --> 01:01:57,398
I smell something fishy
about the whole incident.
1077
01:01:57,947 --> 01:02:00,757
Be careful. Don't go to
school these days, OK?
1078
01:02:01,050 --> 01:02:03,087
Oh, that sounds lovely!
Do come by for a visit soon, won't you?
1079
01:02:03,219 --> 01:02:04,357
OK, bye
1080
01:02:04,854 --> 01:02:09,599
Auntie Nana, who're
you talking to so secretively?
1081
01:02:09,759 --> 01:02:12,467
Not some hungry pup I hope?
1082
01:02:15,531 --> 01:02:17,332
Your father has passed away
for over a decade,
1083
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:18,961
and I've not remarried all these years.
1084
01:02:19,035 --> 01:02:23,313
I believe I'm entitled
to some male company.
1085
01:02:24,373 --> 01:02:26,444
It's customary for
a son to repay his father's debt.
1086
01:02:26,576 --> 01:02:29,216
I can very well take care of you.
1087
01:02:32,048 --> 01:02:34,050
Are you out of your mind?
1088
01:02:34,150 --> 01:02:36,061
I had my first business set up
1089
01:02:36,152 --> 01:02:37,722
when you were still in diapers.
1090
01:02:38,454 --> 01:02:41,333
How else do you think your pet name
1091
01:02:42,024 --> 01:02:43,594
"Tiny Wee Wee" came about?
1092
01:02:47,497 --> 01:02:49,272
What the fuck are you laughing at?
1093
01:03:04,881 --> 01:03:06,360
David, you sure Pinch Junior
1094
01:03:06,482 --> 01:03:07,688
will show his face tonight?
1095
01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:11,027
I'm sure of it. I have informants.
1096
01:03:11,120 --> 01:03:16,229
Tonight is the night he
will pay for what he did.
1097
01:03:17,660 --> 01:03:21,540
What's that?
1098
01:03:21,664 --> 01:03:23,735
A stun gun.
- A stun gun?
1099
01:03:24,167 --> 01:03:26,306
That's super cool. Let me have a look.
1100
01:03:28,237 --> 01:03:30,717
Wow. I love it!
1101
01:03:31,307 --> 01:03:32,786
What did you stun me for'?
1102
01:03:35,278 --> 01:03:38,452
The mission is too dangerous.
I'd better go alone.
1103
01:03:55,531 --> 01:04:02,073
Dad, an eye for an eye.
Tonight I will avenge your death
1104
01:04:02,205 --> 01:04:04,708
by spilling Pinch Junior's blood.
1105
01:04:24,427 --> 01:04:25,804
Watch the steps
1106
01:04:27,496 --> 01:04:28,440
Boss!
1107
01:04:29,432 --> 01:04:34,108
Oh, my darling chicky chick...
Daddy loves you!
1108
01:04:34,804 --> 01:04:38,650
You're Daddy's favorite girl...
1109
01:04:50,987 --> 01:04:52,227
Ah!
1110
01:05:08,971 --> 01:05:11,178
Boss, it's David's daughter!
1111
01:05:11,874 --> 01:05:16,550
Fuck! I loathe bloody
violence such as this.
1112
01:05:16,679 --> 01:05:18,090
Get rid of her.
1113
01:05:19,749 --> 01:05:21,092
Watch your head, Boss
1114
01:05:26,689 --> 01:05:28,430
This chick is pretty hot, I'll say.
1115
01:05:28,557 --> 01:05:30,059
Aren't we damn lucky!
1116
01:05:43,239 --> 01:05:45,014
Just when I thought
our luck was picking up.
1117
01:05:45,141 --> 01:05:47,141
How is it that the world
is never short of loonies.
1118
01:07:55,371 --> 01:07:57,009
Why did you stun me last night?
1119
01:07:58,707 --> 01:08:01,347
It was for your own good.
1120
01:08:02,978 --> 01:08:07,984
Although I didn't
get to finish off Pinch Junior,
1121
01:08:08,084 --> 01:08:09,825
I taught his underlings a good lesson.
1122
01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:10,727
Yeah, right.
1123
01:08:15,157 --> 01:08:16,727
Did you leave a name?
1124
01:08:16,892 --> 01:08:17,927
Leave what name?
1125
01:08:19,895 --> 01:08:21,033
You must leave a name
after a heroic act,
1126
01:08:21,130 --> 01:08:22,768
so people will remember you!
1127
01:08:23,165 --> 01:08:24,337
That's not so important.
1128
01:08:24,767 --> 01:08:26,110
Bullshit!
1129
01:08:26,802 --> 01:08:29,874
Every hero needs a super catchy name,
1130
01:08:30,005 --> 01:08:31,382
so his enemies will fear his existence,
1131
01:08:31,507 --> 01:08:33,214
and his followers worship it.
1132
01:08:36,245 --> 01:08:38,350
What do you think of...
1133
01:08:38,481 --> 01:08:40,483
DL? DL Special Force?
1134
01:08:41,450 --> 01:08:43,430
What the fuck is DL?
1135
01:08:44,286 --> 01:08:47,790
It stands for David Loman
- Huge Badass!
1136
01:08:48,357 --> 01:08:52,134
Good one! I've got a better idea:
1137
01:08:52,261 --> 01:08:55,799
Do-Ladies Special Force, how about that?
- No, no,
1138
01:08:55,965 --> 01:08:57,945
DL stands for huge...
1139
01:08:59,401 --> 01:09:00,471
What you looking at?
1140
01:09:01,170 --> 01:09:02,478
That's just some biker chick.
1141
01:09:02,605 --> 01:09:04,084
It's your daughter!
1142
01:09:09,645 --> 01:09:11,352
Hello, Jin, what...
what're you doing here?
1143
01:09:11,480 --> 01:09:12,618
That's your car out there?
1144
01:09:12,715 --> 01:09:15,992
Ye..yes. Uhm... sometimes
we need a car for our business...
1145
01:09:16,685 --> 01:09:17,993
Jin, Jin!
1146
01:09:21,090 --> 01:09:21,864
Dad?
1147
01:09:22,758 --> 01:09:24,601
I...I'm not your father...
1148
01:09:25,461 --> 01:09:25,962
Dad!
1149
01:09:26,095 --> 01:09:28,974
Jin, I forgot to introduce you...
This is my father,
1150
01:09:29,098 --> 01:09:31,840
he's a bit shy when meeting strangers
1151
01:09:34,103 --> 01:09:35,173
Your father?
1152
01:09:39,642 --> 01:09:42,054
Fine. Don't ever come see me again!
1153
01:09:43,913 --> 01:09:45,483
You have the nerve to lie to me?
1154
01:09:46,715 --> 01:09:48,888
No, Jin, listen...
I didn't mean to lie to you... Jin!
1155
01:09:49,018 --> 01:09:51,555
Jin!
1156
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:15,849
Jin, uh... l...
1157
01:10:16,011 --> 01:10:18,548
I mean him... You... He wanted...
1158
01:10:18,881 --> 01:10:19,621
He wanted...
1159
01:10:19,748 --> 01:10:21,056
Just say it!
1160
01:10:22,151 --> 01:10:24,961
He said he owed you too much
1161
01:10:25,087 --> 01:10:25,963
and didn't want you
to get hurt because of him,
1162
01:10:26,088 --> 01:10:29,069
so... l hope you'll feel better.
1163
01:10:33,829 --> 01:10:35,331
Did I say you could go?
1164
01:10:36,832 --> 01:10:38,072
Come give me a hand.
1165
01:10:53,048 --> 01:10:55,619
You got injured because of me last time.
1166
01:10:56,652 --> 01:10:57,926
This armor is my gift to you.
1167
01:10:58,020 --> 01:10:59,465
Now we're even.
1168
01:10:59,922 --> 01:11:02,732
Really'? I'm so happy to have it!
1169
01:11:02,858 --> 01:11:04,769
I know there's a lot
we can do together...
1170
01:11:06,595 --> 01:11:07,471
Stand still.
1171
01:11:11,066 --> 01:11:12,170
Don't hit too hard
1172
01:11:13,636 --> 01:11:14,410
Here I come!
1173
01:11:51,907 --> 01:11:53,147
Try this.
1174
01:12:02,051 --> 01:12:04,031
Yikes!
1175
01:12:04,853 --> 01:12:06,526
Are you OK?
1176
01:12:08,257 --> 01:12:09,395
You're such an idiot.
1177
01:12:09,491 --> 01:12:10,993
Why didn't you dodge?
1178
01:12:11,994 --> 01:12:13,439
I'm OK, really.
1179
01:12:13,595 --> 01:12:16,007
My nerves are damaged,
1180
01:12:16,165 --> 01:12:17,286
remember? So I feel no pain.
1181
01:12:17,800 --> 01:12:18,642
How could I forget'? They got damaged
1182
01:12:18,734 --> 01:12:20,575
because you were
trying to save my life, right?
1183
01:12:20,669 --> 01:12:22,706
You want me to marry you
for that or what?
1184
01:12:24,173 --> 01:12:25,880
Move! I've got medicine over there.
1185
01:12:37,386 --> 01:12:39,059
You want more beating?
1186
01:12:39,154 --> 01:12:41,100
Watch where you lay your eyes.
1187
01:12:43,359 --> 01:12:49,366
When is your next mission?
1188
01:12:54,002 --> 01:12:55,777
Tell me!
1189
01:12:55,904 --> 01:12:58,407
I need to go back and check.
1190
01:13:07,750 --> 01:13:12,631
What's that you got on?
1191
01:13:12,755 --> 01:13:14,235
You couldn't understand if you tried.
1192
01:13:15,958 --> 01:13:17,062
You This is called "true love."
1193
01:13:17,159 --> 01:13:19,139
True love?
You've got a long way to go, kid.
1194
01:13:19,261 --> 01:13:20,604
C'mon, time to set out.
1195
01:13:20,996 --> 01:13:22,270
Let's go!
1196
01:13:57,499 --> 01:13:59,536
True love, huh?
1197
01:14:02,638 --> 01:14:03,639
Did I really say that'?
1198
01:14:39,007 --> 01:14:41,920
What're you staring at
with your ass? I'll fix you for good!
1199
01:14:58,460 --> 01:14:59,495
Well done.
1200
01:15:01,430 --> 01:15:02,204
What is it?
1201
01:15:02,331 --> 01:15:04,402
It hurts... down there...
1202
01:15:04,533 --> 01:15:06,069
Let me pull it out for you
1203
01:15:06,201 --> 01:15:07,305
Ahhh!
1204
01:15:10,005 --> 01:15:10,813
Hey!
1205
01:15:10,939 --> 01:15:13,715
We're busy fighting here
and you're busy kissing?
1206
01:15:14,409 --> 01:15:16,184
Not bad. I bet the kiss
1207
01:15:16,311 --> 01:15:17,415
was worth it?
1208
01:15:22,384 --> 01:15:23,590
She said, "well done"?
1209
01:15:48,176 --> 01:15:50,747
No undies? What kind of a thug are you?
1210
01:15:51,346 --> 01:15:52,290
Shame on you!
1211
01:15:52,414 --> 01:15:55,054
Help! He robbed me!
1212
01:15:55,150 --> 01:15:58,097
Just where do you think you're going?
1213
01:16:07,963 --> 01:16:11,342
Ouch!...Oh, my sweetie,
fighting like that
1214
01:16:11,466 --> 01:16:13,309
you're going to scare off all the men!
1215
01:16:16,338 --> 01:16:17,282
Smile...
1216
01:16:17,472 --> 01:16:18,348
Smile!
1217
01:16:19,474 --> 01:16:20,145
Va!
1218
01:16:26,548 --> 01:16:27,652
Let's go!
1219
01:16:27,749 --> 01:16:30,753
DL Special Force? You for real'?
1220
01:16:33,622 --> 01:16:35,761
Autograph, please! Sign right here.
1221
01:16:35,924 --> 01:16:36,800
You sign.
1222
01:16:39,061 --> 01:16:40,233
We're off.
- Thank you.
1223
01:16:40,929 --> 01:16:42,135
Oh wait,
1224
01:16:43,131 --> 01:16:44,166
you are fined 3000 yuan
1225
01:16:44,333 --> 01:16:45,613
for vandalizing public property.
1226
01:16:46,668 --> 01:16:51,014
Thank goodness for DL...
what is it again?
1227
01:16:51,139 --> 01:16:53,380
D..L..Special Force'?
1228
01:16:53,508 --> 01:16:55,215
Thank you. I'm very grateful.
1229
01:16:55,510 --> 01:16:57,581
DL Special Force, you rock!
1230
01:16:59,581 --> 01:17:02,755
We love DL! We love DL!
1231
01:17:03,485 --> 01:17:05,192
Come here.
- Hey, wait...
1232
01:17:05,320 --> 01:17:07,596
I've created a fan group
for DL Special Force.
1233
01:17:07,723 --> 01:17:08,428
What for?
1234
01:17:08,557 --> 01:17:10,468
Fan group?
Might as well call it damn group.
1235
01:17:10,592 --> 01:17:12,112
Oh shut up. You don't know this stuff.
1236
01:17:12,894 --> 01:17:15,033
Why don't we go directly
to Pinch Junior?
1237
01:17:15,130 --> 01:17:18,509
We can't do that.
We failed the last time,
1238
01:17:18,634 --> 01:17:20,705
he's now in hiding.
1239
01:17:20,836 --> 01:17:23,646
We must force him out by
1240
01:17:23,772 --> 01:17:24,853
rounding up his underlings.
1241
01:17:24,940 --> 01:17:26,044
Hear that?!
1242
01:17:29,378 --> 01:17:32,587
Little Brother Wu, the next time
1243
01:17:32,714 --> 01:17:34,352
your dog can't find its way home,
1244
01:17:34,483 --> 01:17:37,293
please just post flyers
in your neighborhood.
1245
01:17:37,419 --> 01:17:41,026
DL Special Force is quite busy.
1246
01:17:42,991 --> 01:17:45,437
This one is from a little girl by
the name Zhang Junya.
1247
01:17:46,595 --> 01:17:48,097
Domestic violence.
1248
01:17:48,263 --> 01:17:49,606
Domestic violence?
1249
01:17:50,999 --> 01:17:52,034
Make that priority.
1250
01:17:52,367 --> 01:17:56,907
Priority..it..is
1251
01:17:57,673 --> 01:18:01,018
Don't you dare touch my mommy again...
1252
01:18:11,687 --> 01:18:16,067
My dad and me. Cute, huh?
1253
01:18:20,829 --> 01:18:24,402
When I was little my dad
loved taking photos of me.
1254
01:18:24,566 --> 01:18:27,547
He said he wanted to take photos
of me on my birthday every year,
1255
01:18:27,669 --> 01:18:29,376
until the day I marry.
1256
01:18:30,806 --> 01:18:31,841
What's so funny?
1257
01:18:32,674 --> 01:18:34,347
Eh... Nothing.
1258
01:18:37,646 --> 01:18:40,593
But then later on, he forgot
about my birthdays completely.
1259
01:18:47,589 --> 01:18:51,093
Do you know
why I haven't fixed this car?
1260
01:18:54,963 --> 01:18:58,433
Because my dad
and I banged it up together.
1261
01:18:58,800 --> 01:18:59,972
Haha,
1262
01:19:00,769 --> 01:19:03,943
like father, like daughter.
1263
01:19:08,810 --> 01:19:11,290
On some level,
1264
01:19:11,880 --> 01:19:14,759
I feel this would be
1265
01:19:15,917 --> 01:19:18,523
our last project together.
1266
01:19:21,923 --> 01:19:23,527
Nana told me,
1267
01:19:25,627 --> 01:19:27,971
he has advanced gastric cancer.
1268
01:19:34,369 --> 01:19:36,679
Even though he's still alive right now,
1269
01:19:38,673 --> 01:19:40,983
who knows how much time he has left.
1270
01:20:52,948 --> 01:20:53,790
David! David!
1271
01:20:54,616 --> 01:20:55,424
Guess what?
1272
01:20:57,919 --> 01:21:00,763
The day after tomorrow, Pinch Junior
1273
01:21:00,889 --> 01:21:03,449
is holding a Taoist funeral
chanting service for his late father.
1274
01:21:05,760 --> 01:21:07,262
I got us a job in the service!
1275
01:21:10,699 --> 01:21:11,905
The opportunity has come.
1276
01:21:23,678 --> 01:21:25,021
How does this stuff work?
1277
01:21:35,557 --> 01:21:38,470
It was ten years ago
today that my father died.
1278
01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:44,105
At the time I was in America,
1279
01:21:44,232 --> 01:21:46,371
and many of the elders in the family
1280
01:21:46,534 --> 01:21:48,514
told me not to come back.
1281
01:21:49,337 --> 01:21:52,079
I am not so certain they meant
well in telling me so,
1282
01:21:52,207 --> 01:21:54,312
but ifs all in the past now,
1283
01:21:55,110 --> 01:21:56,555
and I shall not hold
any grudge against you all.
1284
01:21:56,811 --> 01:22:02,284
I believe that you all stand by me,
1285
01:22:03,084 --> 01:22:04,961
Fight?
1286
01:22:07,122 --> 01:22:08,396
Happy!
1287
01:22:13,161 --> 01:22:14,231
Happy!
1288
01:22:14,362 --> 01:22:15,340
Here we go!
1289
01:22:16,631 --> 01:22:18,872
We raise high this bowl of rice,
1290
01:22:19,000 --> 01:22:20,479
asking for the Gods in heaven
to guard your family tight,
1291
01:22:20,635 --> 01:22:22,672
so that all of your descendents
1292
01:22:22,804 --> 01:22:25,512
may have seats in the government
or be sent to prison.
1293
01:22:25,640 --> 01:22:27,017
Yes, Gods, this we ask!
- Right!
1294
01:22:27,108 --> 01:22:30,248
But wait, be sent to prison?
1295
01:22:30,378 --> 01:22:31,584
To be the president, I said!
1296
01:22:31,713 --> 01:22:32,748
Oh, I see. To be the president.
1297
01:22:32,881 --> 01:22:34,622
We hold the bowl of rice low,
asking the Gods in heaven
1298
01:22:34,749 --> 01:22:36,626
to bring the lost souls home,
so that all of your descendents
1299
01:22:36,751 --> 01:22:39,755
may have ancestral spirits
watching over their heads
1300
01:22:39,888 --> 01:22:41,561
Yes, Gods, this we ask!
Oh, Happy... Off you go!
1301
01:22:41,656 --> 01:22:43,966
We now hand the bowl of rice
1302
01:22:44,092 --> 01:22:45,799
to the son of the family,
1303
01:22:45,961 --> 01:22:47,269
may the Gods in heaven
watch over your kids,
1304
01:22:47,362 --> 01:22:49,535
making sure they have
wrong legs and wrong arms...
1305
01:22:49,698 --> 01:22:51,939
Huh? Wrong legs and wrong arms?
1306
01:22:52,067 --> 01:22:53,944
Listen carefully!
1307
01:22:54,069 --> 01:22:57,050
I said long legs and long arms!
1308
01:22:57,205 --> 01:23:01,347
You wouldn't want your kids
to be born with none,
1309
01:23:01,476 --> 01:23:03,080
Oh, Happy... -would you?
1310
01:23:04,079 --> 01:23:08,186
Off you go... Happy, bon voyage...
1311
01:23:08,283 --> 01:23:09,762
How should I live without you?
1312
01:23:09,884 --> 01:23:11,795
What the fuck are you so "happy" about?
1313
01:23:11,920 --> 01:23:14,230
There...
1314
01:23:14,556 --> 01:23:17,162
your late father's name:
Pinch Dick Happy
1315
01:23:17,459 --> 01:23:18,979
They like their dicks pinched? Really?
1316
01:23:19,594 --> 01:23:21,164
Yes... l believe so.
1317
01:23:21,763 --> 01:23:23,606
Oh no... Happy is gone...
Off you go, Happy...
1318
01:23:23,698 --> 01:23:24,438
Who are they? I asked to
1319
01:23:24,599 --> 01:23:26,306
hire a group of funeral weeping girls
1320
01:23:26,468 --> 01:23:30,006
Those weeping girls are so dated.
1321
01:23:30,138 --> 01:23:32,140
These ladies are
the most popular these days.
1322
01:23:32,307 --> 01:23:34,514
The one closest to us,
she has some crying talent.
1323
01:23:34,609 --> 01:23:35,349
When she weeps,
1324
01:23:35,443 --> 01:23:37,218
the whole street starts mourning.
1325
01:23:37,345 --> 01:23:39,052
That's me. When I cry, all fathers die.
1326
01:23:39,180 --> 01:23:42,127
And the one in the middle,
Ellie, she is the legendary one
1327
01:23:42,250 --> 01:23:44,594
whose tears flooded the great wall.
1328
01:23:44,719 --> 01:23:46,562
My tears are entirely organic.
1329
01:23:46,654 --> 01:23:48,827
Oh, Happy..Off you go...
1330
01:23:48,990 --> 01:23:50,025
There you go.
1331
01:23:50,158 --> 01:23:51,432
Haven't I seen you before?
1332
01:23:51,526 --> 01:23:53,566
And the last one,
she's the most pricey of them all.
1333
01:23:53,628 --> 01:23:55,335
When she cries,
she sends off the deepest sorrow...
1334
01:23:55,497 --> 01:23:56,475
How so'?
1335
01:23:56,631 --> 01:23:57,541
You see how she's sitting down?
1336
01:23:57,665 --> 01:23:58,166
She's the only lady
in the entire country
1337
01:23:58,333 --> 01:23:59,937
who weeps on her butt and not her knees.
1338
01:24:00,001 --> 01:24:03,813
This is because
shes experienced deep grievances
1339
01:24:03,938 --> 01:24:05,281
in her lifetime...
1340
01:24:05,373 --> 01:24:07,319
It all began when I had
to weep for your mother's lover!
1341
01:24:07,409 --> 01:24:08,410
You see?
1342
01:24:08,543 --> 01:24:11,387
She even knows your mother had a lover.
1343
01:24:11,513 --> 01:24:13,493
You may very well be
the son from that lover.
1344
01:24:13,581 --> 01:24:14,741
That would make me a bastard?
1345
01:24:14,849 --> 01:24:16,419
Yes, indeed.
1346
01:24:16,551 --> 01:24:19,623
Now, when we offer the Gods
in heaven this Cake of Success,
1347
01:24:19,754 --> 01:24:20,892
we must pray for the success
of others and not of ourselves
1348
01:24:21,022 --> 01:24:21,864
Why?
1349
01:24:22,190 --> 01:24:22,895
When we pray for others
1350
01:24:23,024 --> 01:24:24,503
we learn about true compassion.
1351
01:24:25,493 --> 01:24:27,234
And then, when we offer
the Gods these fresh chive blossoms,
1352
01:24:27,328 --> 01:24:29,569
we pray that all of your.
Descendents be buried in possum
1353
01:24:29,697 --> 01:24:31,540
What? Buried in possum?
1354
01:24:31,666 --> 01:24:33,009
I mean, may the boys
bury their faces in the bosom
1355
01:24:33,168 --> 01:24:34,647
of their beloved ladies
1356
01:24:34,736 --> 01:24:36,856
and the girls blossom
like the most beautiful flowers!
1357
01:24:36,905 --> 01:24:37,906
Oh... -Yes, yes.
1358
01:24:38,039 --> 01:24:39,712
May the girls grow up to be
as beautiful as we are!
1359
01:24:39,841 --> 01:24:42,287
When we offer the Gods
these rice - the grains -
1360
01:24:42,410 --> 01:24:45,448
we pray that your family forever gains!
1361
01:24:45,580 --> 01:24:47,059
Oh, good...
- Finally,
1362
01:24:47,182 --> 01:24:50,095
in order to ensure a life
of prosperity for your family,
1363
01:24:50,218 --> 01:24:51,938
the rituals should be
observed all the same,
1364
01:24:52,287 --> 01:24:53,561
even though it's been
1365
01:24:53,655 --> 01:24:55,635
ten years since your father died.
1366
01:24:55,757 --> 01:24:58,203
We need an elder from
your family to perform this one.
1367
01:24:58,326 --> 01:24:59,828
Where's your father's elder brother?
1368
01:25:00,195 --> 01:25:01,235
My father didn't have one.
1369
01:25:01,296 --> 01:25:03,936
How about a younger brother?
1370
01:25:04,065 --> 01:25:05,442
He didn't have one, either.
1371
01:25:05,533 --> 01:25:07,376
You have no more elders in your family?
1372
01:25:07,869 --> 01:25:10,145
Perhaps my mother's lover
could help with this?
1373
01:25:10,271 --> 01:25:11,614
Sure, that'll do.
1374
01:25:11,706 --> 01:25:14,516
He could count as your step-uncle.
1375
01:25:15,009 --> 01:25:16,079
That would be me, the step-uncle.
1376
01:25:16,211 --> 01:25:19,158
Wow, your mother had quite an appetite.
1377
01:25:19,247 --> 01:25:20,487
Not very picky at all I see.
1378
01:25:20,582 --> 01:25:22,960
Alright, we will need to
hammer down some nails here.
1379
01:25:23,084 --> 01:25:25,360
When I tell you to hit, you hit.
Got it? Get ready now.
1380
01:25:25,453 --> 01:25:28,593
Get ready now.
1381
01:25:29,357 --> 01:25:31,997
When the nail goes down on the east,
1382
01:25:32,327 --> 01:25:34,830
bestow upon your descendants
what unyielding lust!
1383
01:25:34,996 --> 01:25:35,974
Yes, Gods, this we ask!
1384
01:25:36,097 --> 01:25:38,600
When the nail goes down on the south,
1385
01:25:38,733 --> 01:25:41,179
a lady in sight makes your men go nuts!
1386
01:25:41,302 --> 01:25:42,007
Yes, Gods, this we ask!
1387
01:25:42,137 --> 01:25:44,413
When the nail goes down on the west,
1388
01:25:44,539 --> 01:25:47,213
may everyone in the family
turn away from pest!
1389
01:25:47,342 --> 01:25:48,263
Yes, Gods, this we ask!
1390
01:25:48,276 --> 01:25:51,223
When the nail goes down on the north,
1391
01:25:51,346 --> 01:25:52,546
you sit and watch all the good
1392
01:25:52,614 --> 01:25:54,252
fortunes come forth!
1393
01:25:54,382 --> 01:25:55,486
Yes, Gods, this we ask!
1394
01:25:55,617 --> 01:25:59,326
Now is the most auspicious
moment to hammer down the nail.
1395
01:25:59,454 --> 01:26:00,524
Now, hit!
1396
01:26:00,855 --> 01:26:02,835
Ouch! Fuck!
1397
01:26:03,057 --> 01:26:03,978
Yes, Gods, this we ask!
1398
01:26:14,802 --> 01:26:16,281
Forget it.
1399
01:26:17,138 --> 01:26:17,946
Let's go.
1400
01:26:28,616 --> 01:26:30,186
Shhh
1401
01:26:44,098 --> 01:26:44,838
Aghhh!
1402
01:26:45,633 --> 01:26:46,805
What's wrong with you?!
1403
01:26:50,505 --> 01:26:53,748
Now we ask the Gods
in heaven to bestow upon
1404
01:26:53,875 --> 01:26:55,445
your big houses to burn down...
1405
01:26:55,577 --> 01:26:56,214
What?
1406
01:26:56,344 --> 01:26:57,687
Houses to burn down'?
1407
01:26:57,779 --> 01:27:00,225
No, no, I mean,
big houses for you to move into.
1408
01:27:00,348 --> 01:27:01,793
Boss, we caught these two.
1409
01:27:07,355 --> 01:27:09,266
David's daughter?
1410
01:27:09,390 --> 01:27:11,461
I've looked all over for you,
1411
01:27:11,626 --> 01:27:14,197
and now you turn up at my doorstep?
1412
01:27:19,200 --> 01:27:19,840
Motherfuckers...
1413
01:27:19,867 --> 01:27:20,811
Hold it!
1414
01:27:26,808 --> 01:27:28,219
I am not dead yet.
1415
01:27:28,343 --> 01:27:29,913
I'm David Loman.
1416
01:27:30,178 --> 01:27:31,350
Boss...
1417
01:27:31,479 --> 01:27:33,152
Aha!
1418
01:27:33,414 --> 01:27:36,588
No wonder you look familiar to me.
1419
01:27:37,418 --> 01:27:38,863
Everyone,
1420
01:27:38,953 --> 01:27:41,399
rumor has it that I killed David Loman,
1421
01:27:41,522 --> 01:27:43,524
but you see, he's right here,
alive and kicking.
1422
01:27:43,625 --> 01:27:46,799
Now, he and I have some
personal business to settle,
1423
01:27:46,961 --> 01:27:48,599
I ask you all to stay out of this.
1424
01:27:48,763 --> 01:27:49,673
I'm all for it.
1425
01:27:53,234 --> 01:27:55,805
Today I will fight you one on one.
1426
01:27:55,903 --> 01:27:58,679
History is written by the victors.
1427
01:27:58,806 --> 01:28:01,047
Whoever loses today will leave
the mob world for good.
1428
01:28:01,175 --> 01:28:02,381
Agreed.
1429
01:28:03,111 --> 01:28:04,522
You haven't seen this one,
1430
01:28:05,480 --> 01:28:06,720
have you?
1431
01:28:06,848 --> 01:28:07,792
What's that?
1432
01:28:07,882 --> 01:28:10,419
This is what the U.S.
used to nail Bin Laden.
1433
01:28:32,674 --> 01:28:34,210
His blood vessels are about to burst.
1434
01:28:34,342 --> 01:28:35,844
Maybe he's about to have a stroke!
1435
01:28:41,082 --> 01:28:42,482
Let me tell you what this thing is.
1436
01:28:42,583 --> 01:28:44,585
It's the newest drug from the FBI
1437
01:28:44,719 --> 01:28:48,963
called RU786.
1438
01:28:49,090 --> 01:28:51,832
786? The 3-some strips of the lottery?
1439
01:28:51,993 --> 01:28:55,133
That's nothing new.
The 4-some are the hottest strips now.
1440
01:28:55,296 --> 01:28:58,641
Look at me,
you know what this is called?
1441
01:28:58,733 --> 01:29:02,146
It's what Silly Pork taught me:
1442
01:29:02,303 --> 01:29:03,680
the One-Finger Technique!
1443
01:29:18,519 --> 01:29:19,259
Dad!
1444
01:29:19,387 --> 01:29:20,058
David!
1445
01:29:26,661 --> 01:29:27,435
Dad!!!
1446
01:29:29,597 --> 01:29:30,837
Aghhhh
1447
01:29:43,811 --> 01:29:44,892
Ouch! Can't you aim better?
1448
01:29:49,617 --> 01:29:51,028
What technique is this one'?
1449
01:29:51,119 --> 01:29:54,589
You want to know?
1450
01:29:54,722 --> 01:29:57,293
It's called the Ball Breaker!
1451
01:29:57,425 --> 01:29:59,268
No one can save you
1452
01:29:59,394 --> 01:30:01,305
when your balls are
in the hands of an old rag,
1453
01:30:01,462 --> 01:30:03,601
not even God...
1454
01:30:08,302 --> 01:30:10,908
I can't believe I'm still alive...
But then again,
1455
01:30:11,639 --> 01:30:14,848
I won't be here for much longer...
1456
01:30:16,544 --> 01:30:19,047
Stop saying such a thing.
1457
01:30:19,180 --> 01:30:20,955
You need to rest.
1458
01:30:22,483 --> 01:30:26,932
When you feel better,
we should go get married,
1459
01:30:27,789 --> 01:30:30,099
before it's too late.
1460
01:30:30,391 --> 01:30:31,461
Right.
1461
01:30:33,694 --> 01:30:35,173
Oh wow!
1462
01:30:35,329 --> 01:30:37,206
DL Special Force!
1463
01:30:37,365 --> 01:30:39,038
I'm such a fan!
1464
01:30:39,167 --> 01:30:41,238
I'm here on behalf of our hospital
to give you these flowers
1465
01:30:41,402 --> 01:30:43,746
and to impart some good news
1466
01:30:43,871 --> 01:30:45,782
and bad news.
1467
01:30:45,907 --> 01:30:48,217
"Good news"
1468
01:30:48,309 --> 01:30:50,550
in English means
1469
01:30:50,645 --> 01:30:53,285
Enough already!
1470
01:30:53,748 --> 01:30:55,489
What are you here to tell us
1471
01:30:55,616 --> 01:30:58,256
Let me announce this:
1472
01:30:58,352 --> 01:30:59,797
Mr. Zhu,
1473
01:30:59,921 --> 01:31:02,026
You do not have caner!
1474
01:31:02,523 --> 01:31:03,399
What?
1475
01:31:04,225 --> 01:31:07,138
We have sent you
the wrong medical report.
1476
01:31:07,261 --> 01:31:08,604
Sorry...
1477
01:31:08,996 --> 01:31:11,636
My apologies.
1478
01:31:11,799 --> 01:31:12,800
I thought you were already dead,
1479
01:31:12,967 --> 01:31:14,727
so I was going to
get away with this mistake,
1480
01:31:14,869 --> 01:31:16,712
but now you're still alive,
1481
01:31:16,838 --> 01:31:18,749
so, I'm here to say I am sorry,
and congratulations.
1482
01:31:18,873 --> 01:31:20,352
Congratulations!
1483
01:31:20,475 --> 01:31:21,715
That's all you can say?
Sorry and congratulations?
1484
01:31:21,843 --> 01:31:22,483
Congratulations!
1485
01:31:22,543 --> 01:31:23,613
Congratulations!
- What kind of a...
1486
01:31:23,744 --> 01:31:25,883
What kind of a quack are you?
1487
01:31:26,013 --> 01:31:27,788
I need to teach you a lesson.
1488
01:31:28,015 --> 01:31:29,119
Please don't get mad.
1489
01:31:29,250 --> 01:31:30,890
We will give you
50 percent off this time.
1490
01:31:32,153 --> 01:31:33,826
50 percent off?!
1491
01:31:33,955 --> 01:31:36,060
You dare charge fees?!
1492
01:31:37,325 --> 01:31:40,306
How about this,
the next time you have cancer,
1493
01:31:40,428 --> 01:31:42,339
it'll be my treat...
1494
01:31:42,730 --> 01:31:44,410
Next time?
What the hell are you talking...
1495
01:31:44,532 --> 01:31:46,569
You don't know much
about David Loman, do you?
1496
01:31:46,734 --> 01:31:48,441
See this finger?
Want to know how powerful it is?
1497
01:31:48,569 --> 01:31:49,513
I'll show you!
1498
01:31:49,604 --> 01:31:51,140
No! Please don't!
1499
01:31:53,774 --> 01:31:56,550
After what I've been through,
1500
01:31:57,078 --> 01:31:59,888
I now know the true meaning of life
1501
01:31:59,981 --> 01:32:02,086
lies in ordinary and peaceful living.
1502
01:32:03,284 --> 01:32:04,957
That feels good... Here.
1503
01:32:05,086 --> 01:32:07,259
Pinch Junior received a
heavy sentence for what he did,
1504
01:32:07,388 --> 01:32:09,766
he will probably spend
the rest of his life in prison.
1505
01:32:09,924 --> 01:32:11,665
I know this one. One cigarette.
1506
01:32:12,126 --> 01:32:14,003
Now that's more like it.
1507
01:32:14,128 --> 01:32:15,801
You've been with me for so long,
you ought to know what I want.
1508
01:32:15,963 --> 01:32:18,807
You see, he's playing
Boss even when locked up.
1509
01:32:22,003 --> 01:32:22,981
Damn
1510
01:32:23,070 --> 01:32:25,209
I miss my darling chicky chick!
1511
01:32:26,674 --> 01:32:29,086
As for Mr. Cha Cha, the guy
who lied to me about not having money,
1512
01:32:29,210 --> 01:32:31,190
I had him go dance
everywhere as a punishment;
1513
01:32:31,279 --> 01:32:34,123
I wanted him to dance until he dropped.
1514
01:32:34,248 --> 01:32:36,159
Little did I know,
he became a huge star,
1515
01:32:36,284 --> 01:32:38,161
and was now invited
1516
01:32:38,286 --> 01:32:39,993
to go on all kinds of TV shows
1517
01:32:40,121 --> 01:32:41,566
to perform with his new name:
1518
01:32:41,656 --> 01:32:44,830
The Dancing King.
1519
01:32:45,026 --> 01:32:47,905
He got so popular even the
"three flowers" went with him.
1520
01:32:50,298 --> 01:32:50,867
The Captain of the Special
1521
01:32:51,032 --> 01:32:53,535
Force killed all the enemies
1522
01:32:53,701 --> 01:32:56,181
and rescued his girlfriend Louise.
1523
01:32:58,873 --> 01:32:59,783
Right then, one teardrop
rolled down her cheek
1524
01:32:59,907 --> 01:33:01,427
and landed in the hand of the Captain.
1525
01:33:06,180 --> 01:33:06,920
As a result, their love story became
1526
01:33:07,048 --> 01:33:09,168
one of the most beautiful
in the history of mankind...
1527
01:33:09,383 --> 01:33:10,919
That's so moving, honey!
1528
01:33:11,052 --> 01:33:13,965
Hey! Don't touch me
with your dirty hands!
1529
01:33:14,088 --> 01:33:15,533
What if you pass germs to the baby?
1530
01:33:15,623 --> 01:33:19,332
And like all men in the world,
1531
01:33:19,493 --> 01:33:23,339
Xiao Ho turned out to be a
very different guy after marriage.
1532
01:33:24,665 --> 01:33:27,168
Oh stop that! You're all sweaty!
1533
01:33:32,039 --> 01:33:33,848
You...
1534
01:33:36,043 --> 01:33:40,116
Excuse me, it's been a longtime
that I haven't starred in a movie...
1535
01:33:40,247 --> 01:33:44,559
He isn't Old Dick!
- He isn't Old Ho!
1536
01:33:46,887 --> 01:33:49,629
Auntie, he is Old Ho but not Old Dick!
1537
01:33:52,126 --> 01:33:54,037
You're right, He ls Old Dick!
1538
01:33:54,195 --> 01:33:55,833
He isn't Old Ho!
1539
01:33:55,997 --> 01:33:57,305
He's got a dick!
1540
01:33:57,465 --> 01:34:00,309
That we didn't know
which is big or small.
1541
01:34:00,434 --> 01:34:03,608
He isn't Old Dick, he's got it!
1542
01:34:06,841 --> 01:34:08,752
Things look fine.
1543
01:34:08,876 --> 01:34:10,378
Perhaps you've been
1544
01:34:10,511 --> 01:34:12,889
under too much straws lately...
1545
01:34:13,414 --> 01:34:15,621
too much straws...
1546
01:34:16,851 --> 01:34:17,727
Now please go make arrangements
1547
01:34:17,852 --> 01:34:19,889
to have your blur, urine
and stool specimen checked
1548
01:34:21,622 --> 01:34:24,967
Blur... what the...
1549
01:34:25,092 --> 01:34:26,730
Blur...
1550
01:34:26,861 --> 01:34:30,070
Not only did he want my blood and bird
1551
01:34:30,197 --> 01:34:31,505
Bird...
1552
01:34:32,400 --> 01:34:34,710
Fuck!
1553
01:34:34,835 --> 01:34:36,576
What technique is this one'?
1554
01:34:36,704 --> 01:34:37,876
You want to know?
1555
01:34:38,005 --> 01:34:40,542
It's called the Ball Breaker!108536
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