Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:13,737 --> 00:00:17,393
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
2
00:00:17,611 --> 00:00:19,861
Hey. Have you ever
gotten a mani-pedi?
3
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,571
Uh, I've gotten a manicure.
4
00:00:22,651 --> 00:00:25,771
- Really?
- Uh, but I've never got a pedicure.
5
00:00:25,861 --> 00:00:28,071
The toes rank second on the body
6
00:00:28,151 --> 00:00:30,861
only to the testicles in terms
of how repulsive they are.
7
00:00:30,941 --> 00:00:33,821
- Hey. You know Hobe Turner?
- He was a writer on Seinfeld.
8
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:36,441
- Yeah. Of course. Yeah.
- Okay. Doing a movie
9
00:00:36,521 --> 00:00:39,441
starring Jon Hamm, and Jon Hamm
10
00:00:39,521 --> 00:00:42,731
is playing a Larry David-type writer.
11
00:00:42,821 --> 00:00:46,321
They're going against type,
and he wants to, uh,
12
00:00:46,401 --> 00:00:48,651
follow you around,
spend a day with you.
13
00:00:48,731 --> 00:00:49,941
Yeah, let's do it.
14
00:00:50,021 --> 00:00:51,821
I'm gonna try and make
it happen for tomorrow.
15
00:00:51,901 --> 00:00:53,377
- That'll be fun.
- Yeah, it will be fun.
16
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:54,321
We're back!
17
00:00:54,401 --> 00:00:55,651
All right, listen.
18
00:00:55,731 --> 00:00:57,941
We are not getting along at all.
19
00:00:58,021 --> 00:00:59,691
Susie and I are at odds.
20
00:00:59,771 --> 00:01:01,481
Oh, my God. I, I don't even know...
21
00:01:01,571 --> 00:01:02,821
- Saw your car!
- Hi!
22
00:01:02,901 --> 00:01:04,571
- Hi, ladies. Hi.
- Oh.
23
00:01:04,651 --> 00:01:06,191
- Well, well, well.
- Hi.
24
00:01:06,271 --> 00:01:07,377
- Hey, look who's here?
- Hey.
25
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,771
- I'm glad you're here.
- Are you?
26
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:12,047
I never thought I'd hear those
words come out of your mouth.
27
00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:14,401
Okay. So, Becky, my sister...
28
00:01:14,481 --> 00:01:16,457
- Uh-huh.
- ...is selling that house we bought her.
29
00:01:16,481 --> 00:01:18,941
- Really?
- And what's really interesting is,
30
00:01:19,021 --> 00:01:20,111
it's appreciated,
31
00:01:20,191 --> 00:01:21,707
because that section
of town is, like...
32
00:01:21,731 --> 00:01:23,941
Fantastic! Make a little dough!
33
00:01:24,021 --> 00:01:25,571
Becky's gonna make some money.
34
00:01:25,651 --> 00:01:27,771
What do you mean
she'll make some money?
35
00:01:27,861 --> 00:01:29,441
I bought the house.
36
00:01:29,521 --> 00:01:31,417
- We bought the house.
- Okay, yeah, okay.
37
00:01:31,441 --> 00:01:33,087
- And we gave it...
- We bought the house.
38
00:01:33,111 --> 00:01:34,021
- ...as a gift.
- Okay.
39
00:01:34,111 --> 00:01:35,861
A gift... It wasn't a gift
40
00:01:35,941 --> 00:01:37,691
for her to sell and make money.
41
00:01:37,771 --> 00:01:39,191
It was a gift for her to live in.
42
00:01:39,271 --> 00:01:41,087
- You gave it to her. It was a gift.
- Yeah. You...
43
00:01:41,111 --> 00:01:43,031
I didn't give her the house
so she could sell it.
44
00:01:43,071 --> 00:01:44,431
What if she sold it in three days?
45
00:01:44,481 --> 00:01:46,001
Would she be allowed
to keep the money?
46
00:01:46,071 --> 00:01:48,337
- She's flipping houses now?
- She's been there for 15 years.
47
00:01:48,361 --> 00:01:49,691
That's not exactly a flip.
48
00:01:49,771 --> 00:01:52,651
So she's gonna sell it and
make this tremendous profit?
49
00:01:52,731 --> 00:01:55,151
- And get everything?
- That's, that's crazy talk.
50
00:01:55,231 --> 00:01:56,877
- That's insane.
- Why are you siding with him?
51
00:01:56,901 --> 00:01:58,337
- What do you mean, why am I siding with him?
- No!
52
00:01:58,361 --> 00:01:59,651
That's the right thing!
53
00:01:59,731 --> 00:02:01,571
Listen, I don't wanna be
54
00:02:01,651 --> 00:02:02,571
in the middle of this.
55
00:02:02,651 --> 00:02:04,231
I don't really talk to Becky.
56
00:02:04,321 --> 00:02:05,321
Why?
57
00:02:05,401 --> 00:02:07,521
We've grown apart through the years.
58
00:02:07,611 --> 00:02:09,571
She calls me Queen Elizabeth.
59
00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:11,611
She calls herself
Princess Margaret...
60
00:02:11,691 --> 00:02:13,151
- Queen Elizabeth?
- Yeah.
61
00:02:13,231 --> 00:02:14,981
Oh, yeah. 'Cause you got everything.
62
00:02:15,071 --> 00:02:17,731
- That's what she says.
- And she's jealous.
63
00:02:17,821 --> 00:02:19,481
So if you're comfortable...
64
00:02:19,571 --> 00:02:22,127
- going to her and asking her for money...
- Oh, you better believe it.
65
00:02:22,151 --> 00:02:23,917
Oh, you better believe it.
I feel comfortable.
66
00:02:23,941 --> 00:02:25,917
All right, well, you do it,
because Cheryl doesn't feel comfortable.
67
00:02:25,941 --> 00:02:27,701
- Is that a character?
- Yeah. Kramer.
68
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:29,171
- Oh.
- Oh, I feel comfortable.
69
00:02:29,231 --> 00:02:31,941
- Okay.
- Oh, you better believe it.
70
00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:36,771
This Hobe Turner movie is, like,
one of the... is a big thing for me.
71
00:02:36,861 --> 00:02:38,797
- Yeah.
- And I'm excited to do it. And, you know,
72
00:02:38,821 --> 00:02:40,401
the guy is kind of based on you.
73
00:02:40,481 --> 00:02:43,441
So the best way I can figure
it is to just hang out.
74
00:02:43,521 --> 00:02:45,901
- You know. I ask...
- It's not gonna be easy, Jon.
75
00:02:45,981 --> 00:02:47,521
I'm a very complex man.
76
00:02:47,611 --> 00:02:49,441
- Very complicated.
- I get it.
77
00:02:49,521 --> 00:02:51,361
But I just wanna say
I'd really appreciate it.
78
00:02:51,441 --> 00:02:53,151
- You'd appreciate it.
- Yes, I would.
79
00:02:53,231 --> 00:02:57,231
Really. This... this word
"appreciate," it's very, very odd.
80
00:02:57,321 --> 00:02:59,497
People seem to think that if
they use the word "appreciate,"
81
00:02:59,521 --> 00:03:01,441
all of a sudden,
the seas part for them.
82
00:03:01,521 --> 00:03:04,271
"Oh, hey, I'm so sorry that I...
83
00:03:04,361 --> 00:03:06,021
"I robbed your house
and burned it down.
84
00:03:06,111 --> 00:03:08,297
I'd really appreciate it if
you wouldn't tell the cops."
85
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:09,246
You know?
86
00:03:09,271 --> 00:03:12,045
This is exactly
what I'm talking about.
87
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:15,981
- This is perfect.
- All right. Let's order the main course.
88
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,611
Yes, we should.
89
00:03:17,691 --> 00:03:20,127
- There's so many things on this.
- I can't look at these menus.
90
00:03:20,151 --> 00:03:22,651
There's so much. Oh, you know what?
91
00:03:22,731 --> 00:03:25,611
We should just ask them. They
got... They know what they're doing.
92
00:03:25,691 --> 00:03:26,861
Ho-bo-bo. Ho-ho-ho-ho.
93
00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:28,691
Why are you...
Why are you doing this?
94
00:03:28,771 --> 00:03:32,271
Excuse me. What, uh...
What'd you guys get?
95
00:03:32,361 --> 00:03:33,861
Why do you want to know?
96
00:03:33,941 --> 00:03:35,861
Because we're about to order.
97
00:03:35,941 --> 00:03:37,571
But, uh, you have a menu.
98
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,521
Yeah, but I figured, you know,
99
00:03:39,611 --> 00:03:41,981
you're the experts, why not copy you.
100
00:03:42,071 --> 00:03:44,231
Why would you think
we're the experts?
101
00:03:44,321 --> 00:03:45,731
Chinese.
102
00:03:45,821 --> 00:03:48,731
- Ai-yah!
- That doesn't make us an expert on food.
103
00:03:48,821 --> 00:03:49,941
Yeah. Yeah, I think it does.
104
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,821
I mean, if there was
a table of fat people,
105
00:03:51,901 --> 00:03:53,231
and a table of skinny people,
106
00:03:53,321 --> 00:03:55,271
I'd ask the fat people
what they were getting.
107
00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:58,231
'Cause they're a little more expert
at eating than the skinny people.
108
00:03:58,321 --> 00:03:59,441
Anyway...
109
00:03:59,521 --> 00:04:02,611
- Return to your meal.
- Thank you.
110
00:04:04,441 --> 00:04:07,231
- What?
- This is gold.
111
00:04:10,151 --> 00:04:11,337
- Schmo-hawk.
- Yeah, schmo-hawk.
112
00:04:11,361 --> 00:04:12,497
- I thought I heard that.
- Yeah.
113
00:04:12,521 --> 00:04:14,021
But I wasn't sure I heard it right.
114
00:04:14,111 --> 00:04:15,651
- S-C-H?
- S-C-H.
115
00:04:15,731 --> 00:04:16,917
You know, you got the "schmo."
116
00:04:16,941 --> 00:04:19,231
It's a schmo. Yeah.
117
00:04:20,111 --> 00:04:22,151
It's the browsing, right?
You can't stand it.
118
00:04:22,231 --> 00:04:23,611
- You hate it.
- No browsing.
119
00:04:23,691 --> 00:04:25,361
- No browsing. Yeah.
- No browsing.
120
00:04:25,441 --> 00:04:28,521
- You own this stand?
- No. I work for the owner.
121
00:04:28,611 --> 00:04:31,111
What do you do if you have
to go to the bathroom?
122
00:04:31,191 --> 00:04:32,441
I don't go.
123
00:04:33,321 --> 00:04:34,691
You don't go.
124
00:04:34,771 --> 00:04:36,071
The whole shift, you don't go?
125
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:38,401
I can't go. I have to watch.
126
00:04:38,481 --> 00:04:39,901
All right. You know what?
127
00:04:39,981 --> 00:04:41,941
Do you have to go
to the bathroom now?
128
00:04:43,271 --> 00:04:45,021
- Go. I'll watch it.
- You'll watch it?
129
00:04:45,111 --> 00:04:47,231
- I'll watch the stand. Go.
- Okay. Put this on.
130
00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:49,087
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Thank you. Thank you so...
131
00:04:49,111 --> 00:04:50,547
Yeah. You're, you're, you're welcome.
132
00:04:50,571 --> 00:04:51,821
I really have to go.
133
00:04:51,901 --> 00:04:53,271
- No browsing, okay?
- No browsing.
134
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:54,997
- You browse, you buy.
- You browse, you buy.
135
00:04:55,021 --> 00:04:57,521
- Thank you.
- Take your time. Take your time.
136
00:04:57,611 --> 00:04:59,821
Get your papers here. Papers!
137
00:04:59,901 --> 00:05:01,861
Magazines. Newspapers!
138
00:05:02,901 --> 00:05:04,271
Sir.
139
00:05:04,361 --> 00:05:05,731
- Oh.
- Sir.
140
00:05:05,821 --> 00:05:08,071
- Sorry, no browsing.
- I'm not browsing.
141
00:05:08,151 --> 00:05:11,611
The rule here is,
you buy, then browse.
142
00:05:11,691 --> 00:05:13,731
I browse to buy.
143
00:05:13,821 --> 00:05:15,361
I know, but that's... I'm sorry.
144
00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:16,841
That's, that's just not gonna work.
145
00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,271
What the fuck?
146
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,861
- Hey!
- Hey.
147
00:05:19,941 --> 00:05:21,691
Yeah, sorry. Yeah.
148
00:05:22,151 --> 00:05:24,771
L.D. What the... What are you, nuts?
149
00:05:24,861 --> 00:05:26,521
- No.
- Are you having a breakdown?
150
00:05:26,611 --> 00:05:28,167
- Hey, Jon.
- Hey, how are you?
151
00:05:28,191 --> 00:05:29,877
- Jon Hamm.
- Yeah, it's nice to meet you. Big fan.
152
00:05:29,901 --> 00:05:31,701
What is... What the f...
What, are you guys...
153
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:33,247
- ...escaped from a mental institution?
- No.
154
00:05:33,271 --> 00:05:34,837
The guy had to go to the
bathroom, so I took over.
155
00:05:34,861 --> 00:05:36,707
- So get this...
- What, what are you guys doing?
156
00:05:36,731 --> 00:05:38,441
Jon's starring in a movie.
157
00:05:38,521 --> 00:05:40,481
- Well, what else is new?
- And the character...
158
00:05:40,571 --> 00:05:42,111
The character's based on me.
159
00:05:42,191 --> 00:05:43,611
So he's kind of shadowing me.
160
00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:45,771
What's the name of the movie?
The Biggest Asshole...
161
00:05:45,861 --> 00:05:47,707
- ...That Ever Roamed the Earth?
- Oh, I like that.
162
00:05:47,731 --> 00:05:49,361
Yeah, that's, that's good.
163
00:05:49,441 --> 00:05:51,271
- I'll tell Hobe.
- That's good.
164
00:05:51,361 --> 00:05:54,151
You're a great actor,
but this could be the end.
165
00:05:54,231 --> 00:05:55,441
So what are you doing?
166
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,191
You know Michelle, the CEO...
167
00:05:57,271 --> 00:05:58,957
- ...I'm dating?
- Yeah, I know she's a CEO.
168
00:05:58,981 --> 00:06:01,271
Well, I gotta go furniture
shopping with her today.
169
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,071
Furniture shopping?
170
00:06:03,151 --> 00:06:04,377
Yeah, but I gotta really get going.
171
00:06:04,401 --> 00:06:06,271
- Okay.
- Why don't we have a meal?
172
00:06:06,361 --> 00:06:07,667
We haven't had dinner in a while.
173
00:06:07,691 --> 00:06:09,167
Yeah, let's do it. Let's have dinner.
174
00:06:09,191 --> 00:06:11,571
- Can, uh, Michelle come?
- No.
175
00:06:11,651 --> 00:06:13,731
Listen, I... I really
want her to come. I...
176
00:06:13,821 --> 00:06:15,271
I really would appreciate it.
177
00:06:15,361 --> 00:06:17,611
See? See what I'm saying
with the "appreciate"?
178
00:06:17,691 --> 00:06:19,162
I'm finally starting to get it.
I see what you're saying. Yes.
179
00:06:19,186 --> 00:06:20,072
Huh? You see it?
180
00:06:20,073 --> 00:06:21,309
What are you talking about?
181
00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:23,821
I don't succumb to "appreciate."
182
00:06:23,901 --> 00:06:26,151
I'm not gonna bring her.
For you, okay?
183
00:06:26,231 --> 00:06:27,707
- Yeah.
- To honor our friendship.
184
00:06:27,731 --> 00:06:29,931
- But she's gonna give me shit for it.
- So what?
185
00:06:29,981 --> 00:06:31,691
You're gonna pay
down the line for this.
186
00:06:31,771 --> 00:06:33,743
You text me where you want to
meet, asshole.
187
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:34,768
Okay.
188
00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:39,071
Thank you. Thank you so much.
189
00:06:39,151 --> 00:06:40,321
- Oh, sure.
- That was quick.
190
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,821
- I feel so much better.
- I'm sure you do.
191
00:06:42,901 --> 00:06:44,481
- Get this off me.
- Okay.
192
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,901
- What do I owe you?
- You owe me nothing.
193
00:06:46,981 --> 00:06:49,771
- Nothing. Oh, boy.
- No. I insist.
194
00:06:49,861 --> 00:06:52,691
- Yeah.
- Thank you. That piss was worth $10, easy.
195
00:06:52,771 --> 00:06:55,611
Well, see ya, man.
I mean, look what you did.
196
00:06:55,691 --> 00:06:57,441
Yeah.
197
00:06:57,521 --> 00:06:59,441
A $10 piss.
198
00:07:01,271 --> 00:07:04,691
- Mm. Mm.
- And he offered me $10 to take a piss.
199
00:07:04,771 --> 00:07:07,111
- Wow.
- And I'm thinking...
200
00:07:07,191 --> 00:07:09,271
what a great idea for a business.
201
00:07:09,361 --> 00:07:11,901
You relieve people who have jobs
202
00:07:11,981 --> 00:07:13,861
where they can't use a bathroom.
203
00:07:13,941 --> 00:07:16,481
Toll booth collectors,
shoe shine stands,
204
00:07:16,571 --> 00:07:18,071
parking garage attendants.
205
00:07:18,151 --> 00:07:20,651
They contact you on your
phone, it's an app,
206
00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:23,481
and then you go down
and man the store,
207
00:07:23,571 --> 00:07:24,731
when they go to the bathroom.
208
00:07:24,821 --> 00:07:26,321
Do you know how many times I've peed
209
00:07:26,401 --> 00:07:27,731
in a fuckin' Gatorade bottle
210
00:07:27,821 --> 00:07:29,377
when I couldn't find
a fuckin' bathroom?
211
00:07:29,401 --> 00:07:30,901
Plenty of fuckin' times.
212
00:07:30,981 --> 00:07:32,021
Mm-hmm.
213
00:07:32,111 --> 00:07:33,691
And know how many times I forgot
214
00:07:33,771 --> 00:07:35,151
I peed in that Gatorade bottle
215
00:07:35,231 --> 00:07:37,441
and drank that shit? Once.
216
00:07:37,981 --> 00:07:39,441
That's a fuckin' good idea.
217
00:07:39,521 --> 00:07:40,721
Thanks for sharing that story.
218
00:07:40,771 --> 00:07:42,111
This could be the pee Amazon.
219
00:07:42,191 --> 00:07:44,271
- You know? This, this is big.
- This could be big.
220
00:07:44,361 --> 00:07:45,547
- This could be very big.
- Every fuckin' where.
221
00:07:45,571 --> 00:07:46,931
- Yeah.
- Very big. We need a name.
222
00:07:46,981 --> 00:07:48,731
- Poober.
- Poober!
223
00:07:48,821 --> 00:07:50,901
- Meh. It's too close to Uber.
- Meh.
224
00:07:50,981 --> 00:07:52,571
I got something.
225
00:07:52,651 --> 00:07:53,941
"Gotta Go."
226
00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:56,071
- Like that. That's catchy as hell.
- You like that?
227
00:08:12,441 --> 00:08:15,021
- Oh. Hey!
- Hey, Becky.
228
00:08:15,111 --> 00:08:17,481
Can I talk to you for a minute?
229
00:08:18,321 --> 00:08:20,321
Yeah. Okay. Come on.
230
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,651
Wow.
231
00:08:22,731 --> 00:08:24,651
What, did you have a party in here?
232
00:08:24,731 --> 00:08:27,151
Nope. Nope. Just me.
233
00:08:27,231 --> 00:08:28,981
Can I make you something to drink?
234
00:08:29,691 --> 00:08:31,191
Uh, no, thanks.
235
00:08:31,271 --> 00:08:32,941
Okay.
236
00:08:33,021 --> 00:08:35,401
You know, you're trying
to sell a house.
237
00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:36,861
- It's...
- Oh.
238
00:08:36,941 --> 00:08:38,941
It's gonna be hard to sell a house
like, like this.
239
00:08:38,981 --> 00:08:40,861
I gotta tidy up a bit, I know.
240
00:08:40,941 --> 00:08:43,321
You know, it's all based
on first impressions.
241
00:08:43,401 --> 00:08:45,088
People come over,
they're gonna see this...
242
00:08:45,113 --> 00:08:46,025
Yeah.
243
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,260
...and then no one's gonna buy it.
244
00:08:47,261 --> 00:08:49,021
All right. I'll take care of it, Dad.
245
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:51,021
- Oh. Yeah.
- Hey.
246
00:08:51,111 --> 00:08:53,901
Heard about the whole
Cheryl-Ted blowup in Mexico.
247
00:08:53,981 --> 00:08:55,731
- Oh.
- Oh, boy.
248
00:08:55,821 --> 00:08:57,981
- Little bit of ash. Sorry.
- Yeah, that was...
249
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,111
- That was wild.
- Yeah, that made me happy.
250
00:09:00,191 --> 00:09:01,997
- Oh, you... Really?
- Little Miss Perfect. Yeah.
251
00:09:02,021 --> 00:09:03,861
It made me feel better about myself.
252
00:09:04,521 --> 00:09:06,571
Boy, you two used
to get along so well.
253
00:09:06,651 --> 00:09:08,571
Yeah, well, not anymore.
254
00:09:08,651 --> 00:09:10,901
You sure I can't get you
something to drink?
255
00:09:10,981 --> 00:09:12,901
No. What are you drinking
in the daytime for?
256
00:09:12,981 --> 00:09:15,321
- Who drinks in the daytime?
- People who go to brunch.
257
00:09:15,401 --> 00:09:16,821
Well, we're not at brunch.
258
00:09:16,901 --> 00:09:18,771
Okay. So I am not having a mimosa.
259
00:09:19,321 --> 00:09:20,048
All right.
260
00:09:20,073 --> 00:09:22,255
What, what,
what do you... What do you want?
261
00:09:22,321 --> 00:09:23,941
- What, what's going on?
- Okay. Well,
262
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,707
obviously, I heard
you're selling the house.
263
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,271
Yeah.
264
00:09:27,361 --> 00:09:29,691
You know, the thing is, Becky,
265
00:09:29,771 --> 00:09:32,771
you know, I did buy you
the house, so...
266
00:09:32,861 --> 00:09:34,821
- I know.
- It's kind of my house.
267
00:09:34,901 --> 00:09:37,691
- No. No, you...
- I paid for the house.
268
00:09:37,771 --> 00:09:40,058
And I thought it was only
fair and reasonable...
269
00:09:40,083 --> 00:09:40,845
Okay.
270
00:09:40,901 --> 00:09:43,941
I'm gonna let you keep the profits
271
00:09:44,021 --> 00:09:45,361
to, to the house.
272
00:09:45,441 --> 00:09:48,321
But of course,
I'll get my investment back.
273
00:09:48,401 --> 00:09:51,401
No, no, no. No.
274
00:09:51,771 --> 00:09:55,571
- Hey. Say I gave you $700,000...
- It's my house.
275
00:09:56,861 --> 00:09:59,361
Please don't do this to me, okay?
276
00:09:59,441 --> 00:10:01,361
Please don't do this.
This is my house.
277
00:10:01,441 --> 00:10:02,861
It's all I have left.
278
00:10:02,941 --> 00:10:06,731
Oh, my God.
Please don't do this to me.
279
00:10:06,821 --> 00:10:08,941
I, I lost my job.
280
00:10:09,021 --> 00:10:10,571
And my boyfriend broke up with me.
281
00:10:10,771 --> 00:10:12,571
- Geez. Don't cry...
- He was from Poland,
282
00:10:12,651 --> 00:10:15,821
and it turns out
all he wanted was a visa.
283
00:10:15,901 --> 00:10:18,861
Okay, you...
284
00:10:18,941 --> 00:10:21,901
Forget, forget it.
You, you, you can keep the house.
285
00:10:21,981 --> 00:10:24,021
You can keep all the money,
keep, keep the profits.
286
00:10:24,111 --> 00:10:25,981
Keep, keep it all.
287
00:10:26,071 --> 00:10:29,481
- Is this a joke?
- No. No. No.
288
00:10:29,571 --> 00:10:30,821
- You mean it?
- Keep it all.
289
00:10:30,901 --> 00:10:33,821
- Thank you, Larry.
- Keep it. You can have it.
290
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:35,981
Yeah. It's okay.
291
00:10:42,861 --> 00:10:44,071
- Really?
- Yeah.
292
00:10:44,151 --> 00:10:45,571
- Wow.
- I know.
293
00:10:45,651 --> 00:10:47,901
I think I always had a secret
little crush on her.
294
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,271
- Me too.
- Yeah.
295
00:10:49,361 --> 00:10:51,191
It was in the daytime.
296
00:10:51,271 --> 00:10:52,941
I love daytime sex.
297
00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:54,521
You're filled with energy.
298
00:10:54,611 --> 00:10:56,644
Yes! I mean, nighttime,
you're so close to going to bed.
299
00:10:56,668 --> 00:10:57,858
Filled! Right!
300
00:10:57,883 --> 00:10:59,297
Why are you doing that
before you go to bed?
301
00:10:59,321 --> 00:11:00,634
The whole thing should
be all flipped around.
302
00:11:00,658 --> 00:11:01,552
I know.
303
00:11:01,553 --> 00:11:02,707
- It should never happen at night.
- The daytime.
304
00:11:02,731 --> 00:11:03,877
- Always during the day.
- Yes.
305
00:11:03,901 --> 00:11:05,361
Ah. It's Jon.
306
00:11:05,441 --> 00:11:07,627
- What's going on?
- Nothing. We're just going out to dinner.
307
00:11:07,651 --> 00:11:10,071
- Is that working out okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.
308
00:11:10,151 --> 00:11:12,111
Where is he?
309
00:11:14,361 --> 00:11:17,321
Did you have sex
with my sister Becky?
310
00:11:17,401 --> 00:11:18,981
Who said that?
311
00:11:19,691 --> 00:11:20,691
Becky!
312
00:11:20,731 --> 00:11:21,901
What did she say?
313
00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:24,151
She said, "Guess who I fucked?"
314
00:11:24,231 --> 00:11:26,941
- Huh...
- Oh, my God.
315
00:11:27,021 --> 00:11:29,821
- He did.
- Oh, my God!
316
00:11:29,901 --> 00:11:31,771
- What, what are you thinking?
- I was there,
317
00:11:31,861 --> 00:11:35,441
and she was, she-she was
upset, she was sobbing,
318
00:11:35,521 --> 00:11:37,441
and I consoled her, and...
319
00:11:37,521 --> 00:11:39,271
And, you know, it just, it happened.
320
00:11:39,361 --> 00:11:41,087
- That's why.
- Yeah, what about the money?
321
00:11:41,111 --> 00:11:42,401
I told her, uh,
322
00:11:42,481 --> 00:11:44,337
she didn't have to, uh,
share the money with me.
323
00:11:44,361 --> 00:11:46,611
- Oh, my God.
- That's, that's like prostitution.
324
00:11:46,691 --> 00:11:49,151
- It was consensual sex between two adults!
- Oh, my God.
325
00:11:49,231 --> 00:11:50,960
There's nothing wrong with
that, as far as I know!
326
00:11:50,984 --> 00:11:51,997
She was vulnerable.
327
00:11:52,021 --> 00:11:54,071
We were all in the
living room over there
328
00:11:54,151 --> 00:11:55,611
when you gave a big speech,
329
00:11:55,691 --> 00:11:57,321
and you were gonna march over there
330
00:11:57,401 --> 00:11:59,457
- and get your money back for that house.
- I did march over there,
331
00:11:59,481 --> 00:12:00,861
and then I felt sorry for her.
332
00:12:00,941 --> 00:12:02,377
- Oh, my...
- Yeah, you marched over there,
333
00:12:02,401 --> 00:12:03,691
you got a fuckin' blow job,
334
00:12:03,771 --> 00:12:05,151
and then you gave the house away.
335
00:12:05,231 --> 00:12:07,111
There's a million fuckin'
women in the world.
336
00:12:07,191 --> 00:12:10,151
- You have to have sex with Cheryl's sister?
- What?
337
00:12:10,231 --> 00:12:11,771
Oh. Hey, Jonny.
338
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,611
Uh, yeah. The door was ajar.
339
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:14,837
The fuck are you doing in my house?
340
00:12:14,861 --> 00:12:16,321
What is Jon Hamm doing in my house?
341
00:12:16,401 --> 00:12:18,457
- He's, he's, um...
- Hold on. Yeah, I should get this down.
342
00:12:18,481 --> 00:12:19,611
He's starring in a movie,
343
00:12:19,691 --> 00:12:21,207
and he's kind of,
you know, shadowing me.
344
00:12:21,231 --> 00:12:22,791
He's bas...
The character's based on me.
345
00:12:22,861 --> 00:12:25,151
So, the character
is a disgusting pervert?
346
00:12:25,231 --> 00:12:26,981
That's good.
347
00:12:27,071 --> 00:12:28,981
It's actually not funny, Jon Hamm.
348
00:12:29,231 --> 00:12:31,047
Oh, no, no. I'm not here.
Act like I'm not here.
349
00:12:31,071 --> 00:12:32,877
- I'm just a fly on the wall. Just, uh...
- Hey.
350
00:12:32,901 --> 00:12:34,321
- New sneaks?
- Oh, yeah.
351
00:12:34,401 --> 00:12:35,997
- Good, right? How comfortable?
- Love 'em.
352
00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:36,646
Yeah.
353
00:12:36,671 --> 00:12:38,545
Hey, guys?
This is not the time, okay?
354
00:12:38,611 --> 00:12:40,151
It's my house, you're in my house.
355
00:12:40,231 --> 00:12:41,997
- I'm terribly sorry.
- You crossed a line...
356
00:12:42,021 --> 00:12:43,521
- ...this time.
- You crossed a line!
357
00:12:43,611 --> 00:12:45,127
- Oh, my God.
- I didn't cross a line.
358
00:12:45,151 --> 00:12:47,191
I went over the line
that you already crossed.
359
00:12:47,271 --> 00:12:48,521
- What?
- He's a friend.
360
00:12:48,611 --> 00:12:50,821
Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. Ted and Larry,
361
00:12:50,901 --> 00:12:53,401
it's just like you and your sister.
It's the same thing.
362
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,861
- It's nowhere close.
- It is not close.
363
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,861
It is close! She slept
with my friend, Ted Danson.
364
00:12:58,941 --> 00:13:00,691
- Okay?
- Okay. That's fine.
365
00:13:00,771 --> 00:13:03,247
- But I can't sleep with her sister?
- It feels like the same thing.
366
00:13:03,271 --> 00:13:06,361
- Because Ted is like a sister to Larry.
- Yeah!
367
00:13:06,441 --> 00:13:08,361
No. It's a relationship with Ted.
368
00:13:08,441 --> 00:13:10,377
- It's not, I didn't just go have s...
- Oh, it's a relationship?
369
00:13:10,401 --> 00:13:12,167
Who's to say that I'm not
gonna have a relationship
370
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:13,667
- with Becky, what do you mean?
- Oh, my God.
371
00:13:13,691 --> 00:13:16,071
You know how
jealous Becky is of Cheryl.
372
00:13:16,151 --> 00:13:19,731
You know that Becky thinks
of herself as Princess Margaret,
373
00:13:19,821 --> 00:13:21,691
and that Cheryl is Queen Elizabeth.
374
00:13:21,771 --> 00:13:23,285
Yeah. Right.
375
00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:24,657
Yeah. Oh,
and you think you're Prince Philip?
376
00:13:24,658 --> 00:13:25,450
Is that what you're saying?
377
00:13:25,451 --> 00:13:26,870
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God.
378
00:13:26,950 --> 00:13:29,870
Prince Philip would put
a fucking gun to his head
379
00:13:29,950 --> 00:13:32,160
before he had you representing him.
380
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,256
Again, real quick,
are we talking about The Crown now?
381
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,820
- Yeah.
- How good is that show?
382
00:13:35,910 --> 00:13:38,200
You know what, Jon Hamm,
it was nice meeting you.
383
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,870
But, really, this is between us.
384
00:13:39,950 --> 00:13:42,660
You know what, I've heard enough.
Come on, Jonny. Let's go eat.
385
00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:44,320
- I'll call you.
- You've had enough...
386
00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:45,846
- ...you petty piece of shit.
- Thank you so much, by the way.
387
00:13:45,870 --> 00:13:47,820
Yeah, it's great. It's great.
388
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,410
- Go, go be him, asshole.
- Thank you.
389
00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:56,700
- Aw, man.
- What are you doing?
390
00:13:56,780 --> 00:13:59,780
You just plopped that into
your, into your water?
391
00:13:59,870 --> 00:14:02,410
Yeah, I plopped it in because
I like lime with my water.
392
00:14:02,490 --> 00:14:04,910
I know but they,
they don't wash these rinds.
393
00:14:04,990 --> 00:14:06,700
You gotta have some trust in people.
394
00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:09,410
You ever see signs in bathrooms,
"Wash before leaving"?
395
00:14:09,490 --> 00:14:11,170
It doesn't matter
if their hands are clean.
396
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,796
- They don't have to...
- The rind's dirty.
397
00:14:12,820 --> 00:14:15,280
- You get a disease.
- Aah, please.
398
00:14:15,370 --> 00:14:16,910
It's bullshit.
399
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:19,240
And I'm really irked
about something, man.
400
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,925
- Did you say "irked"?
- Yeah, irked.
401
00:14:21,950 --> 00:14:23,796
I never heard you use that word
before, but go ahead.
402
00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:26,910
I'm irked because...
with all due respect...
403
00:14:26,990 --> 00:14:28,530
Jon is here, and Michelle is...
404
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:30,176
you wouldn't let Michelle
come to dinner.
405
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,070
I have to watch my Ps and Qs.
406
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,870
I don't wanna watch Ps and Qs.
407
00:14:33,950 --> 00:14:35,280
Do you wanna watch Ps and Qs?
408
00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,160
What are you, Shari Lewis?
Where's Lamb Chop?
409
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,870
In your pants?
410
00:14:38,950 --> 00:14:42,240
- Look, she's irked.
- She's irked.
411
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:43,740
So you're both irked?
412
00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:47,410
She's so angry at me that I had
to, you know, make an excuse.
413
00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:48,780
Oh. What did you say?
414
00:14:48,870 --> 00:14:50,570
I said you had a bleeding rectum,
415
00:14:50,660 --> 00:14:52,320
and that you were worried and scared,
416
00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:54,070
and you needed to talk to me alone,
417
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,410
and you'd be embarrassed
if she heard it.
418
00:14:56,490 --> 00:14:59,477
- Are you out of your fucking mind?
- Well...
419
00:14:59,502 --> 00:15:00,886
You couldn't think of a
better excuse than that?
420
00:15:00,910 --> 00:15:02,796
You should have called me.
I got thousands of 'em.
421
00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:05,160
- I can't even face her now.
- Why not?
422
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,280
Nobody respects a person
with a bleeding rectum.
423
00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:09,450
You think Lincoln
could have prosecuted a war
424
00:15:09,530 --> 00:15:11,240
if people knew he had
a bleeding rectum?
425
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,176
And by the way, when you
come to the dinner party
426
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,780
in a few days,
I would not mention it.
427
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,570
Who mentions that at a dinner party?
428
00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:19,120
Do I still have it
or-or am I over it?
429
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,200
No, I left it open.
430
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:23,200
Sorry to hear that.
431
00:15:23,570 --> 00:15:25,200
I also... Can I say,
432
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:26,820
we ordered this
kind of for the table,
433
00:15:26,910 --> 00:15:28,990
and I feel like you've
gone way over your
434
00:15:29,070 --> 00:15:30,530
appetizer allotment at this point.
435
00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:32,780
- My allotment?
- Well, there's three of us.
436
00:15:32,870 --> 00:15:35,660
- We each get a third.
- Who makes up that fuckin' rule?
437
00:15:35,740 --> 00:15:37,370
It's an unwritten rule.
438
00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:38,870
Oh, my God.
439
00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:40,620
There's two Larry Davids.
440
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,490
Holy shit.
441
00:15:42,570 --> 00:15:43,910
Pretty good.
442
00:15:43,990 --> 00:15:46,530
Pretty, pretty good.
443
00:15:49,450 --> 00:15:51,120
Aah.
444
00:15:56,530 --> 00:15:59,120
- She threw me out.
- She threw you out?
445
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,410
- Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep.
- Why?
446
00:16:01,490 --> 00:16:04,910
Well, she doesn't like the way
I defended you being with Becky.
447
00:16:04,990 --> 00:16:07,780
- Come on in. Make yourself at home.
- I will.
448
00:16:07,870 --> 00:16:09,030
I, I gotta go.
449
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,596
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to Becky's.
450
00:16:10,620 --> 00:16:13,530
Oh. If you keep going to Becky's,
451
00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:15,410
I can't go home.
452
00:16:15,490 --> 00:16:16,870
Keep going to Becky's.
453
00:16:16,950 --> 00:16:18,780
- I'll see you later.
- Bedroom's upstairs.
454
00:16:18,870 --> 00:16:20,530
- Second one.
- Got it.
455
00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:22,410
Okay.
456
00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:46,570
No.
457
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,660
You're welcome.
458
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,700
We did it. We did it!
459
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,080
You didn't expect an airport
drop-off, did you?
460
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,850
Nope. Nobody expects an
airport drop-off anymore.
461
00:17:16,874 --> 00:17:17,684
Ah? Airport drop-off.
462
00:17:17,740 --> 00:17:20,160
- All right, well, have fun skiing.
- I will.
463
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,740
I'll text you when I land.
464
00:17:21,820 --> 00:17:23,296
- Eh, not necessary.
- I didn't really want to.
465
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,886
- Yeah.
- It's like an extra, unnecessary step.
466
00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:27,370
- I'll find out if you're dead.
- Yeah, yeah. You'll know.
467
00:17:27,450 --> 00:17:28,966
- Yeah.
- You got big plans for when I'm gone?
468
00:17:28,990 --> 00:17:30,570
I'm gonna help a friend out
469
00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:32,280
with his, uh, with his new business.
470
00:17:32,370 --> 00:17:33,490
- Cool.
- Yeah.
471
00:17:33,570 --> 00:17:35,410
- Thank you.
- Bye.
472
00:17:36,820 --> 00:17:39,320
He told her you
had a bleeding rectum?
473
00:17:39,410 --> 00:17:41,450
Yeah. Now I gotta walk around
474
00:17:41,530 --> 00:17:43,780
knowing this woman thinks
I have a bleeding rectum.
475
00:17:43,870 --> 00:17:44,910
I can't live like that.
476
00:17:44,990 --> 00:17:46,450
'Cause once that starts to spread,
477
00:17:46,530 --> 00:17:47,620
she's gonna tell everybody.
478
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:48,990
And the worst part is,
479
00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:51,006
no one's ever gonna know
that the bleeding stopped.
480
00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:53,490
People are thinkin',
how does he stop the bleedin'?
481
00:17:53,570 --> 00:17:54,780
Is he wearin' a pad?
482
00:17:54,870 --> 00:17:56,630
Is he, is he a little boy,
a little Dutch boy
483
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:57,820
with his finger in his ass,
484
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,870
with wooden shoes on,
with socks to his knee,
485
00:17:59,950 --> 00:18:02,120
little shorts on, little vest,
little top hat on,
486
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,950
with his finger in your damn rectum?
487
00:18:04,030 --> 00:18:05,620
Right. Right.
488
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:07,620
Hey. There's a parking lot.
489
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:09,280
- Woo, let's go.
- Yeah, let's do it.
490
00:18:09,370 --> 00:18:12,780
Get to work, baby. "Gotta Go"!
491
00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:15,320
Can I help you guys?
492
00:18:15,410 --> 00:18:17,660
We got, uh, we got a little
business proposition for you.
493
00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:18,820
My name's Larry.
494
00:18:18,910 --> 00:18:20,240
- Hey, Larry.
- This is Leon.
495
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:21,990
- I'm Bill.
- Here. Here you go, Bill.
496
00:18:22,070 --> 00:18:23,280
- "Gotta Go"?
- That's right.
497
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:25,320
You ever sit in that booth
at this time of day
498
00:18:25,410 --> 00:18:27,170
and gotta go to the bathroom,
what do you do?
499
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,370
I just stay in the booth.
500
00:18:28,450 --> 00:18:30,200
I can't go anywhere,
just gotta hold it in.
501
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,200
Until now. For a dollar a minute,
502
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,070
five dollar minimum,
I will sit in that booth
503
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,660
while you go and use the bathroom.
504
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,370
- You're serious?
- Very serious.
505
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,490
- Right now, I really have to go.
- Go!
506
00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:40,660
Go ahead, brother.
507
00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:42,280
- I'll be right back.
- My man.
508
00:18:42,370 --> 00:18:43,990
- Thank you.
- My man, I got you!
509
00:18:44,070 --> 00:18:45,570
My man, you gotta go!
510
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:46,870
Ha-ha!
511
00:18:46,950 --> 00:18:48,716
- Look at this shit, Larry. Woo!
- Huh? Told ya.
512
00:18:48,740 --> 00:18:51,700
- Did I tell ya? Huh? I told ya!
- You fuckin' told me, Larry.
513
00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:56,120
- You order a "Gotta Go"?
- Yes, I gotta go.
514
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,700
- Okay. You go.
- Thank you.
515
00:18:57,780 --> 00:18:59,660
- Before I gotta go. Get on out of here.
- Okay.
516
00:19:00,070 --> 00:19:02,740
- Gino! Go handle your business.
- Bye.
517
00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:08,490
Hey. Excuse me.
518
00:19:08,570 --> 00:19:11,200
- You just spat on my shoe.
- It's a fuckin' spit shine.
519
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,530
It's a... Stop!
520
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:14,070
Stop! Stop spitting on my shoe.
521
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,480
I'm not, I'm not paying for this.
522
00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,070
- Okay?
- Your tips are appreciated.
523
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,990
Give me a fuckin' break.
I'm not giving you a cent.
524
00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:23,160
Fuck it, then. I don't give a fuck.
I don't work here.
525
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,410
Woo!
526
00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:27,740
Ha-ha! Woo!
527
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,200
Thank you.
528
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,506
- Thank you for having me.
- Thank you.
529
00:19:35,530 --> 00:19:37,130
- Yes, indeed.
- My pleasure to have you.
530
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,636
- And by the way, your home is lovely.
- You're welcome.
531
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,296
I should be complimenting
you, too, because...
532
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:41,820
Well, I did pick out,
533
00:19:41,910 --> 00:19:43,390
I would say, a majority of the stuff.
534
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,370
Well, I can tell. Great taste.
535
00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:47,006
He's sitting down, Richard.
536
00:19:47,030 --> 00:19:48,176
Richard, he's sitting down.
I can't...
537
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,780
He's gotta sit somewhere.
538
00:19:49,870 --> 00:19:51,466
- I can't... I don't want...
- You know what?
539
00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:53,570
You can't sit on the arm.
It's too thin.
540
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:56,120
- No, I like a thick, cushy arm.
- I agree with you.
541
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,240
Excuse me, everyone,
but dinner is ready.
542
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,410
- Please follow me into the dining room.
- Okay.
543
00:20:01,490 --> 00:20:02,820
This way.
544
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:05,990
We have assigned seating,
so everyone find your name.
545
00:20:06,410 --> 00:20:08,870
- Here we are.
- Welcome. Here we are.
546
00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:10,410
Richard, darling, this way.
547
00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:12,216
- Thank you, babe.
- Next to me.
548
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,570
- Thank you.
- Michelle.
549
00:20:13,660 --> 00:20:16,240
Wh-what's with the, uh,
wooden chair here?
550
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:17,990
Oh, you know, I'm so sorry.
551
00:20:18,070 --> 00:20:20,120
I-I... This set only
comes with seven chairs.
552
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:21,920
- Seven chairs.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
553
00:20:21,990 --> 00:20:23,620
- How unusual.
- I was with her.
554
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:26,096
- I never heard of that before.
- Yeah. You know what? It was odd.
555
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:28,570
It was weird, but I, I loved
them, so, I went with it.
556
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:30,346
- Ah.
- Hey, we're having a dinner.
557
00:20:30,370 --> 00:20:32,716
- Come on. Let's enjoy ourselves.
- Okay, sure. You're right.
558
00:20:32,740 --> 00:20:34,660
- Let's all enjoy. Let's enjoy.
- Yes!
559
00:20:34,740 --> 00:20:36,260
- Let's enjoy.
- Let's enjoy.
560
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,096
- That's the spirit. That's the spirit.
- There we go.
561
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:39,596
- Yes, let's enjoy.
- Bless the new table.
562
00:20:39,620 --> 00:20:41,950
- About time.
- Can I, uh, talk to you in the kitchen...
563
00:20:42,030 --> 00:20:43,136
- ...for a second?
- Who, me?
564
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,240
- Yeah.
- What now?
565
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,030
You got me sitting
in that wooden chair?
566
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,320
- It's embarrassing.
- It's new furniture.
567
00:20:48,410 --> 00:20:50,780
She's afraid if you sit on it,
you're gonna ruin it.
568
00:20:50,870 --> 00:20:52,490
I don't have a bleeding rectum. Okay?
569
00:20:52,570 --> 00:20:53,990
And even if I did,
570
00:20:54,070 --> 00:20:55,620
it's not gonna bleed onto the chair.
571
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:58,370
How stupid! You could have said
a million different things.
572
00:20:58,450 --> 00:20:59,990
A rectum came to my mind first.
573
00:21:00,070 --> 00:21:02,510
You could have at least said I
was better, that I was over it.
574
00:21:02,570 --> 00:21:04,160
- I forgot.
- All right.
575
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,320
The chair's in the house.
576
00:21:05,410 --> 00:21:07,740
You tell the CEO
that I want that chair.
577
00:21:07,820 --> 00:21:09,240
You can't get one.
578
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,660
If I don't get a normal chair,
579
00:21:10,740 --> 00:21:13,490
I'm gonna blow this
bullshit bleeding rectum story
580
00:21:13,570 --> 00:21:15,410
sky high. Okay?
581
00:21:15,490 --> 00:21:17,070
So get me a normal chair.
582
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,700
I'd really appreciate it.
583
00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:20,490
All right, you'll get the chair.
584
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:21,990
- Okay?
- That's great.
585
00:21:22,070 --> 00:21:24,070
Let's get the salads, and...
586
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,620
egg rolls out.
We'll wait about 15 minutes for dinner?
587
00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:28,280
Hey, Michelle. Hi, honey.
588
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,820
- Hi. What's going on?
- Listen, I spoke to Larry,
589
00:21:30,910 --> 00:21:32,950
and he's really embarrassed,
and, uh...
590
00:21:33,030 --> 00:21:34,490
you gotta get him the chair.
591
00:21:34,570 --> 00:21:36,756
- Oh, no. Absolutely not.
- You have to get him a regular chair.
592
00:21:36,780 --> 00:21:38,466
No, he's not... he's not
sitting in the chair.
593
00:21:38,490 --> 00:21:41,450
- No.
- He said he'd really appreciate it.
594
00:21:41,950 --> 00:21:44,620
Really? He said that?
He said he would appreciate it?
595
00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:46,700
Yeah, I wouldn't lie to you.
596
00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:48,370
Okay. Okay, fine. Fine, fine.
597
00:21:48,450 --> 00:21:50,450
Let him, let him sit
in the chair, but...
598
00:21:50,530 --> 00:21:52,870
if he bleeds in my new chair,
599
00:21:52,950 --> 00:21:54,950
you're in big fuckin' trouble.
600
00:21:57,950 --> 00:21:59,280
- Ooh.
- Mm.
601
00:21:59,370 --> 00:22:00,820
Okay. So, Jon.
602
00:22:00,910 --> 00:22:04,160
- You're playing a Larry-type character...
- Yes.
603
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,660
...in this movie. So, uh,
604
00:22:05,740 --> 00:22:07,120
what does the character even do?
605
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,030
- He's a sitcom writer.
- Of course.
606
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,926
Uh, but the whole... Very successful.
The whole thing is,
607
00:22:10,950 --> 00:22:13,700
it turns out that
the thing he's most known for,
608
00:22:13,780 --> 00:22:16,240
his big sitcom that he created,
609
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,700
he stole it from
an Australian sitcom.
610
00:22:18,780 --> 00:22:20,346
- What?
- The guy's a total fraud.
611
00:22:20,370 --> 00:22:21,450
He stole the idea.
612
00:22:21,530 --> 00:22:22,530
- He stole...
- What?
613
00:22:22,620 --> 00:22:23,910
What do you mean? Stole it?
614
00:22:23,990 --> 00:22:24,990
I didn't steal anything.
615
00:22:25,070 --> 00:22:26,240
No, in the movie, not you.
616
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,000
- It sort of implies that...
- Yeah!
617
00:22:28,030 --> 00:22:29,546
- ...their show is stolen.
- Yes!
618
00:22:29,570 --> 00:22:31,240
The character's name
is Lawrence Dean.
619
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:32,966
- Lawrence Dean? What?
- It isn't the same as Larry David.
620
00:22:32,990 --> 00:22:36,370
Hey, hey, hey. Guess what I found?
I found a chair!
621
00:22:36,450 --> 00:22:37,740
Oh!
622
00:22:37,820 --> 00:22:39,450
Yes! Hey!
623
00:22:39,530 --> 00:22:42,120
- What a miracle.
- It was in the garage.
624
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:43,466
How come you didn't tell me?
625
00:22:43,490 --> 00:22:44,886
Richard:
I didn't know it was a chair.
626
00:22:44,910 --> 00:22:46,110
- It was all wrapped up.
- Ooh.
627
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:47,410
It was wrapped up in plastic.
628
00:22:47,490 --> 00:22:49,570
I thought it was, uh,
my dead grandmother's ghost.
629
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:52,260
- I didn't know what the fuck it was.
- How could you not tell me?
630
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,200
- What a lucky thing.
- Yeah.
631
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,660
Because they didn't know,
and they just found it
632
00:22:56,740 --> 00:22:59,070
- in the garage.
- It all worked out. Look at that!
633
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,410
- They're very comfortable, very pretty.
- Yeah.
634
00:23:01,490 --> 00:23:03,870
It's very bouncy.
It's, it's kind of bouncy.
635
00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:05,136
Yeah. I love this chair.
636
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,450
Now we can eat.
637
00:23:06,530 --> 00:23:08,570
- Want more of these?
- Ah. Love Chinese.
638
00:23:08,660 --> 00:23:10,490
Thank you.
639
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:15,160
You guys, do you pick up the
rice bowl and eat it like this?
640
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,870
Or do you start on the table,
641
00:23:17,950 --> 00:23:20,070
and then pick it up,
pick the rice up?
642
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:21,620
You pick up the bowl first.
643
00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:23,136
Oh, you pick it right... eat
it right out of the bowl.
644
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:24,386
Yeah, eat right out of the bowl.
645
00:23:24,410 --> 00:23:26,240
It's just like eating it
over the garbage can.
646
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,120
- Huh?
- Yeah, yeah. In a way.
647
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,780
Oh, Michelle.
648
00:23:29,870 --> 00:23:32,740
- The walnut shrimp is scrumptious.
- Mm.
649
00:23:32,820 --> 00:23:33,990
Scrumptious?
650
00:23:34,070 --> 00:23:36,120
- You think so?
- It's really good.
651
00:23:36,780 --> 00:23:39,160
- What are we waiting for?
- I mean, come on. Come on.
652
00:23:39,910 --> 00:23:41,716
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- What are you doing?
653
00:23:41,740 --> 00:23:43,209
What are you doing?
I want the walnut shrimp?
654
00:23:43,233 --> 00:23:43,934
What are you doing?
655
00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:47,160
I'm turning the Lazy Susan
the way it should be turned.
656
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:49,030
- In order.
- No, no, no, no, no.
657
00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:51,780
A Lazy Susan is like
a roundabout, okay?
658
00:23:51,870 --> 00:23:54,030
I'm sorry,
I don't think you're right.
659
00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:54,667
Okay, can I...
660
00:23:54,668 --> 00:23:55,886
I don't think you know
how a roundabout works.
661
00:23:55,910 --> 00:23:57,546
It's first come, first serve.
That's a roundabout.
662
00:23:57,570 --> 00:23:59,990
- I do know how a roundabout works.
- I don't think you do.
663
00:24:00,070 --> 00:24:02,280
- It works like a Lazy Susan.
- No!
664
00:24:02,370 --> 00:24:04,136
- The cars...
- That's now how a lazy Susan works.
665
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,756
- Can I ask you a favor, please?
- It's how a lazy Susan...
666
00:24:05,780 --> 00:24:07,450
Can I ask you both a favor?
667
00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:10,370
Can you please not use
that term "Lazy Susan"?
668
00:24:10,450 --> 00:24:13,160
It's got racist and sexist
connotations,
669
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,620
and I'd really prefer
670
00:24:14,700 --> 00:24:16,990
- you just not call it that.
- Whoa.
671
00:24:17,070 --> 00:24:18,370
- Lazy Susan?
- Yes.
672
00:24:18,450 --> 00:24:20,030
Who's that racist towards? Susans?
673
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:22,136
- That's crazy. Where'd you get that?
- Okay.
674
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,120
I would just like you
to not use the term.
675
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,920
You're right. You know what?
It should be...
676
00:24:25,990 --> 00:24:28,006
We should definitely start
using the Ambitious Susan.
677
00:24:28,030 --> 00:24:30,320
Yes, yes. Please spin
the Indefatigable Susan.
678
00:24:30,410 --> 00:24:34,070
Oh, can we have the Multifaceted
Susan my way, please?
679
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,030
Yeah, spin the Industrious Susan.
680
00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:38,200
Ooh, can you spin Ambidextrous
Susan, please.
681
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:39,756
- Oh, the Ambidextrous Susan.
- Yes, both ways.
682
00:24:39,780 --> 00:24:41,490
- Both ways.
- So funny. You want it?
683
00:24:41,570 --> 00:24:44,570
- You want it? You want your stuff?
- Whoa!
684
00:24:46,620 --> 00:24:48,410
Whoa!
685
00:24:54,490 --> 00:24:56,160
Oh, man.
686
00:24:57,070 --> 00:24:59,530
- Oh, boy.
- What did you do?
687
00:24:59,620 --> 00:25:01,426
- What? I, I didn't...
- What did you do?
688
00:25:01,450 --> 00:25:04,200
- She spun the thing around like that.
- The thing, it was too fast.
689
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,530
You wouldn't shut up!
690
00:25:07,620 --> 00:25:10,070
I don't give a shit! I want you out!
691
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,990
- You're kicking me out?
- Yeah. And you,
692
00:25:13,070 --> 00:25:14,910
Larry David Junior, you can go, too.
693
00:25:14,990 --> 00:25:16,740
- You're kicking me out.
- Yes, Jon Hamm.
694
00:25:16,820 --> 00:25:18,666
Hey, you're getting kicked out.
Look at that, beautiful.
695
00:25:18,690 --> 00:25:19,434
What's up, huh? Hey.
696
00:25:19,490 --> 00:25:21,280
Out!
697
00:25:21,700 --> 00:25:23,990
- All right.
- All right.
698
00:25:24,070 --> 00:25:26,240
- Okay.
- We should, uh...
699
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:27,990
- Eh.
- Eh.
700
00:25:36,490 --> 00:25:37,820
Hey.
701
00:25:37,910 --> 00:25:40,070
Larry. Oh, thank God you answered.
702
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,320
I just got in a huge accident
on Mount...
703
00:25:42,410 --> 00:25:43,780
Wha?
704
00:25:43,870 --> 00:25:45,910
It was a ski school of children.
705
00:25:45,950 --> 00:25:48,120
They just flew
right in front of me. Ow!
706
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,820
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
707
00:25:50,910 --> 00:25:52,320
They're taking me to a hospital,
708
00:25:52,410 --> 00:25:54,006
and I don't... I just don't
know where it is or...
709
00:25:54,030 --> 00:25:56,256
- I don't know this town.
- Okay, don't worry about a thing.
710
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:57,756
I'll be on the next flight to Denver.
711
00:25:57,780 --> 00:25:59,620
- You would do that for me?
- Of course.
712
00:25:59,700 --> 00:26:02,450
Oh, my God, Larry.
You really are a prince.
713
00:26:02,530 --> 00:26:04,620
Don't worry. I'm calling
my travel agent right now.
714
00:26:04,700 --> 00:26:07,370
Thank you so, so much. Ow!
715
00:26:07,450 --> 00:26:09,160
Westside Travel and Tour.
716
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,238
Eliza speaking.
717
00:26:10,239 --> 00:26:12,006
Oh, hi. It's Larry David.
I have an emergency.
718
00:26:12,030 --> 00:26:14,120
I need to get on the next
flight to Denver, please.
719
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,280
I've got one leaving
in an hour and 40 minutes.
720
00:26:16,370 --> 00:26:18,240
Perfect. Fantastic. Book it.
721
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,346
Oh, you're lucky.
There's only one seat left.
722
00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:22,570
19E.
723
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:25,620
19E.
724
00:26:25,700 --> 00:26:28,740
It's a coach seat.
Oh, it's a middle seat.
725
00:26:30,570 --> 00:26:32,280
Shall I book it?
726
00:26:32,370 --> 00:26:34,370
Any other flights going to Denver?
727
00:26:34,450 --> 00:26:36,410
We've got a two, a four,
728
00:26:36,490 --> 00:26:37,820
and a six.
729
00:26:37,910 --> 00:26:41,990
Anything in rows... one through four?
730
00:26:42,070 --> 00:26:44,530
The only thing left is coach.
731
00:26:45,660 --> 00:26:46,780
Okay.
732
00:26:47,910 --> 00:26:49,990
Give me the next
first-class flight to Denver.
733
00:26:50,070 --> 00:26:52,490
It's not until 9:00 p.m.
734
00:26:52,570 --> 00:26:54,740
9:00 p.m. Perfect.
I'll take it. Book it.
735
00:26:54,820 --> 00:26:56,200
Very well.
736
00:27:04,780 --> 00:27:05,620
Hey.
737
00:27:05,700 --> 00:27:06,530
Hey, Larry.
738
00:27:06,620 --> 00:27:07,780
I got a "Gotta Go" emergency.
739
00:27:07,870 --> 00:27:09,450
I'm at the shoe shine shop, right?
740
00:27:09,530 --> 00:27:11,240
And the guy must have food poisoning.
741
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,000
He's stuck on the fuckin'
toilet right now.
742
00:27:13,070 --> 00:27:14,370
So? What do you want me to do?
743
00:27:14,450 --> 00:27:16,006
I need you to cover for me
at the newsstand.
744
00:27:16,030 --> 00:27:17,830
The guy relies on me
for his six o'clock piss.
745
00:27:17,870 --> 00:27:20,620
- I'll call you back.
- Okay. Okay.
746
00:27:20,700 --> 00:27:22,620
- Hey.
- Yeah.
747
00:27:22,700 --> 00:27:25,030
I need you to do me a favor.
Actually, do Leon a favor.
748
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:27,280
He needs somebody to fill
in for him at the newsstand.
749
00:27:27,370 --> 00:27:29,030
- For the "Gotta Go" app?
- Yeah.
750
00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:30,120
I can't do it.
751
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:31,740
No, no. You gotta do it.
I can't do it,
752
00:27:31,820 --> 00:27:33,096
because I have to fly to Denver.
753
00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:35,530
- I already got my sweats on.
- So what?
754
00:27:35,620 --> 00:27:37,060
Yeah, well, once I got my sweats on,
755
00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:39,370
there's no going back.
I got my sweats on.
756
00:27:39,450 --> 00:27:41,280
What is it, an immutable
law of physics?
757
00:27:41,370 --> 00:27:42,756
Once you're in sweats,
you can't get out?
758
00:27:42,780 --> 00:27:43,780
Newton's Law of Sweats?
759
00:27:43,820 --> 00:27:46,990
It's Jeff Greene's Law of Day Over.
760
00:27:47,070 --> 00:27:48,910
Listen, I'd really appreciate it.
761
00:27:48,990 --> 00:27:51,530
I'm in my sweats!
762
00:27:51,620 --> 00:27:53,620
- Hello?
- Larry, what the fuck you doin', man?
763
00:27:53,700 --> 00:27:55,346
- Goddamn!
- All right, okay!
764
00:27:55,370 --> 00:27:57,410
Shut the fuck up! I'll come!
765
00:27:57,490 --> 00:27:59,280
Thank you. Thank you, by the way.
766
00:27:59,370 --> 00:28:02,160
- Wow.
- God bless you.
767
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:08,280
Hey.
768
00:28:08,370 --> 00:28:10,160
- Hey. I'm from "Gotta Go."
- Larry?
769
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,240
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh.
770
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,070
- I really gotta go.
- Okay. Okay. Hurry up.
771
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:16,410
- Okay. I'll be quick.
- Okay.
772
00:28:16,490 --> 00:28:18,030
- Okay. Thank you.
- Yeah. Hurry up.
773
00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:19,450
Okay.
774
00:28:22,370 --> 00:28:23,700
Fuck.
775
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:27,410
Oh, my God.
776
00:28:27,490 --> 00:28:29,120
Hello?
777
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:30,966
The newsstand
guy left 15 minutes ago.
778
00:28:30,990 --> 00:28:31,870
Hasn't come back.
779
00:28:31,950 --> 00:28:33,740
I gotta catch a plane to Denver.
780
00:28:33,820 --> 00:28:35,280
Hey, no browsing.
781
00:28:35,370 --> 00:28:36,950
Hey, do you carry Vegan Living?
782
00:28:37,030 --> 00:28:38,910
Who gives a shit?
Get the hell out of here.
783
00:28:38,990 --> 00:28:40,280
You gotta come and relieve me.
784
00:28:40,370 --> 00:28:42,160
I can't, Larry.
I'm at the shoe shine stand.
785
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:43,870
This guy's taking a $40 shit.
786
00:28:43,950 --> 00:28:46,231
Aw!
All right, I'll get somebody else.
787
00:28:48,990 --> 00:28:50,950
Thanks very much. Hey.
788
00:28:51,030 --> 00:28:52,030
Hey!
789
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:53,870
- I got your back.
- Oh, my God.
790
00:28:53,950 --> 00:28:55,830
- You are a lifesaver.
- No worries, no worries.
791
00:28:55,870 --> 00:28:58,280
- Thank you so much.
- Not at all.
792
00:28:58,370 --> 00:28:59,620
Jonny.
793
00:28:59,700 --> 00:29:01,320
Really appreciate this.
794
00:29:01,410 --> 00:29:03,070
Hey, no prob...
795
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:04,950
- Ah?
- Ah?
796
00:29:05,030 --> 00:29:06,740
I get it.
797
00:29:11,700 --> 00:29:13,200
Oh, my God.
798
00:29:15,740 --> 00:29:17,120
Excuse me, I'm so sorry.
799
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:18,740
I got seven minutes
to catch the plane.
800
00:29:18,820 --> 00:29:20,530
It sounds like a lie, but it's not.
801
00:29:20,620 --> 00:29:21,870
I'm not a cutter by nature.
802
00:29:21,950 --> 00:29:24,160
Um, my, my girlfriend
got in a skiing accident.
803
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:25,910
You know, she's my ex-wife's sister.
804
00:29:25,990 --> 00:29:27,820
We don't have to get into that, but,
805
00:29:27,910 --> 00:29:29,410
nevertheless, thank you so much.
806
00:29:29,490 --> 00:29:31,530
- I really appreciate it.
- Next.
807
00:29:31,620 --> 00:29:32,910
Are you together?
808
00:29:34,950 --> 00:29:36,200
No.
809
00:29:36,740 --> 00:29:38,120
No.
810
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:40,740
Why would you think we were together?
811
00:29:40,820 --> 00:29:42,030
No reason.
812
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,120
- No, no reason at all?
- No reason?
813
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:45,700
I just assumed you were a couple...
814
00:29:45,780 --> 00:29:47,216
- You assumed?
- You assumed...
815
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,160
- Oh, really?
- You assumed we're a couple. We...
816
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:50,886
I mean, I've never...
I mean, nice to meet you.
817
00:29:50,910 --> 00:29:53,320
- Nice to meet you, too.
- Yeah, see, look, we just met.
818
00:29:53,410 --> 00:29:54,780
Honest mistake.
819
00:29:54,870 --> 00:29:56,870
But why did you make the mistake?
820
00:29:56,950 --> 00:29:58,141
That's what I'm wondering.
821
00:29:58,166 --> 00:30:00,684
Any two people standing
together could be a couple.
822
00:30:00,740 --> 00:30:02,240
Two men, two women.
823
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,530
If I saw a man wearing a yarmulke,
824
00:30:04,620 --> 00:30:06,740
standing next to a woman
wearing a kerchief
825
00:30:06,820 --> 00:30:08,570
and carrying a mahjong set,
826
00:30:08,660 --> 00:30:09,980
I would think they were a couple.
827
00:30:10,030 --> 00:30:12,280
- What?
- It's just a natural assumption.
828
00:30:12,370 --> 00:30:14,200
Anyway, I'd love to continue
our discussion.
829
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,386
It's been very interesting.
I have to catch a flight to Denver.
830
00:30:16,410 --> 00:30:18,107
Eh, there's a lot of
black people in Denver.
831
00:30:18,131 --> 00:30:19,224
Yeah. Tell 'em we said hi.
832
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:20,660
Hello, sir. Boarding pass?
833
00:30:22,450 --> 00:30:24,820
You've been randomly selected
for a security search, sir.
834
00:30:24,910 --> 00:30:27,530
What? What? Secure...
What are you talking about?
835
00:30:27,620 --> 00:30:29,756
- Can someone get my spot? Thank you.
- Oh, please.
836
00:30:29,780 --> 00:30:32,240
Are you kidding me?
Oh, they couldn't be a couple.
837
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:33,320
Oh, it's crazy.
838
00:30:33,410 --> 00:30:34,636
It has nothing to do with that, sir.
839
00:30:34,660 --> 00:30:37,400
- Oh, it has nothing to do with that?
- No.
840
00:30:37,425 --> 00:30:38,926
Come on,
I'm gonna miss my flight to Denver.
841
00:30:38,950 --> 00:30:41,030
- Enjoy that search. Yeah.
- Enjoy it.
842
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:42,320
Honestly, if you're looking...
843
00:30:42,370 --> 00:30:43,796
I wouldn't look in
the food and wine section.
844
00:30:43,820 --> 00:30:45,910
I would look... Los Angeles magazine.
845
00:30:45,990 --> 00:30:46,910
Right down there.
846
00:30:46,990 --> 00:30:48,370
You don't find what you need,
847
00:30:48,450 --> 00:30:50,210
- look online. Everything's online.
- Thanks.
848
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:51,990
Excuse me, ma'am. No browsing.
849
00:30:52,070 --> 00:30:54,240
No, I'm just looking for an
article that Jay Inslee...
850
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:55,450
Oh.
851
00:30:55,530 --> 00:30:57,240
- Oh, hi.
- Cheryl.
852
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:58,570
- Jon.
- That's me.
853
00:30:58,660 --> 00:30:59,700
- Hamm. Hi.
- Yes.
854
00:30:59,780 --> 00:31:00,870
What are you doing here?
855
00:31:00,950 --> 00:31:02,546
I'm just watching
the newsstand for Larry.
856
00:31:02,570 --> 00:31:04,730
He had to... He had to jump
out and run to the airport.
857
00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:07,950
I'm sorry.
Does Larry own a newsstand now?
858
00:31:08,030 --> 00:31:09,570
Great question.
859
00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:11,490
- I don't have an answer.
- Okay.
860
00:31:11,570 --> 00:31:14,450
- So you are Larry's ex-wife. Wow.
- Yeah. I know.
861
00:31:14,530 --> 00:31:17,200
- I find that fascinating.
- Do you?
862
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,780
Oh, my gosh.
Spending the last few days with him?
863
00:31:19,870 --> 00:31:22,620
- I gotta know everything.
- It's a lot.
864
00:31:22,700 --> 00:31:24,950
Well, do you wanna
just go get some coffee?
865
00:31:25,030 --> 00:31:27,120
Sit down and talk?
866
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,410
- Now?
- Well, yeah. Why not?
867
00:31:29,490 --> 00:31:31,370
- Okay. Uh...
- Let's go.
868
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,120
I mean, do you really wanna hear...
869
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,280
Are you kidding me?
I wanna hear everything.
870
00:31:36,370 --> 00:31:38,620
You might be bored. Ah, 17 years...
871
00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:40,200
Wow.
872
00:31:48,700 --> 00:31:50,410
Do you recognize that signature?
873
00:31:50,490 --> 00:31:51,966
He killed the
motherfucker 'cause the waffles
874
00:31:51,990 --> 00:31:53,160
had expired and shit.
875
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:55,870
Gonna sit in that room
and get interrogated...
876
00:31:55,950 --> 00:31:57,990
Hey. Okay? You happy? You happy?
877
00:31:58,070 --> 00:31:59,790
- I hope you're happy.
- What the fuck, man?
878
00:31:59,870 --> 00:32:01,700
- I missed my flight to Denver.
- Sorry.
879
00:32:01,780 --> 00:32:03,796
Oh, because you wouldn't
get out of your sweat pants.
880
00:32:03,820 --> 00:32:05,570
Suppose there was an emergency?
Then what?
881
00:32:05,660 --> 00:32:06,796
You take the sweat pants off?
882
00:32:06,820 --> 00:32:08,120
Well, what kind of an emergency?
883
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,620
Suppose, uh, your friend
was in a car accident.
884
00:32:10,700 --> 00:32:13,490
- Which friend?
- Me. I got hit by a car.
885
00:32:13,570 --> 00:32:14,990
How did you get hit by a car?
886
00:32:15,070 --> 00:32:16,570
I, I got a piece of pizza, and,
887
00:32:16,660 --> 00:32:18,070
and I was crossing the street,
888
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:19,490
and the, the cheese fell off,
889
00:32:19,570 --> 00:32:21,046
and I bent down
to pick up the cheese,
890
00:32:21,070 --> 00:32:22,370
and I got hit by a car.
891
00:32:22,450 --> 00:32:24,676
Who the hell picks up cheese
in the middle of the street?
892
00:32:24,700 --> 00:32:26,346
I don't want to litter
so I picked up the cheese
893
00:32:26,370 --> 00:32:27,820
and I put it in the garbage can.
894
00:32:27,910 --> 00:32:30,160
No. You were gonna
pick up the cheese,
895
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:31,740
and put it on your pizza and eat it.
896
00:32:31,820 --> 00:32:33,926
Bullshit. I was not.
I was gonna throw it in the garbage.
897
00:32:33,950 --> 00:32:35,160
- You don't know.
- I know.
898
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:36,506
- What do you know? No, you don't!
- I know.
899
00:32:36,530 --> 00:32:38,160
And you, fuckstick, don't ever ask me
900
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,386
to man any post for you again,
'cause I'm not doin' it!
901
00:32:40,410 --> 00:32:42,530
Just consider me
in sweatpants all the time.
902
00:32:42,620 --> 00:32:44,950
Fuck that job.
I quit that shit already.
903
00:32:45,030 --> 00:32:48,030
- Wow. That was fast.
- Fuck, yeah. I'm in and out.
904
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:49,950
All right, I gotta go text Becky now
905
00:32:50,030 --> 00:32:51,796
and tell her I missed my flight
'cause of you two assholes,
906
00:32:51,820 --> 00:32:53,256
and tell her I'll be on
the first flight out to Denver
907
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:54,796
tomorrow morning.
Actually, second flight.
908
00:32:54,820 --> 00:32:56,240
Why second flight?
909
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:57,870
First class.
910
00:32:57,950 --> 00:32:59,450
Yeah.
911
00:33:00,070 --> 00:33:03,030
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
912
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,370
Oh, my God. What?
913
00:33:05,450 --> 00:33:07,280
Oh, my... Larry!
914
00:33:07,370 --> 00:33:08,780
Larry!
915
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:11,870
Larry!
916
00:33:11,950 --> 00:33:13,570
Oh, look.
917
00:33:13,660 --> 00:33:14,700
Latte Larry's.
918
00:33:14,780 --> 00:33:16,200
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Spite store.
919
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:17,386
- I heard about this.
- Yeah.
920
00:33:17,410 --> 00:33:18,990
- This must be, uh...
- Mocha Joe's.
921
00:33:19,070 --> 00:33:20,070
There we go.
922
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:21,256
Okay, don't tell Larry we did this.
923
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,160
You got it.
924
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,280
I've never been
in this shop. I just...
925
00:33:26,370 --> 00:33:28,910
It's kind of a wobbly table,
you know?
926
00:33:28,990 --> 00:33:30,740
It's like my least favorite thing.
927
00:33:30,820 --> 00:33:32,136
- It's all right.
- Here we go.
928
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,006
- Two cups of coffee.
- Hey. Thank you very much.
929
00:33:34,030 --> 00:33:36,296
Thank you so much for coming
in, Mr. Hamm. How's that scone?
930
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:37,950
Uh, not so much a scone.
931
00:33:38,410 --> 00:33:40,950
- No, it's a scone.
- Nah, this is like a muffin.
932
00:33:41,030 --> 00:33:43,410
I mean, I'm just saying,
like, there's kind of a specific
933
00:33:43,490 --> 00:33:45,596
quality that a scone has
that's sort of dry and crumbly.
934
00:33:45,620 --> 00:33:48,030
This is sweet. It's a little
more like a muffin than a scone.
935
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:49,990
What you are describing
is a stale scone.
936
00:33:50,070 --> 00:33:52,910
- That's a, that's fresh one.
- I'm not sure you know what a...
937
00:33:52,990 --> 00:33:54,240
definition of a scone is.
938
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,280
It looks good. I think, um...
939
00:33:56,370 --> 00:33:57,400
I'm just saying,
I'm saying it's a muffin.
940
00:33:57,424 --> 00:33:59,386
- Let's not worry about it.
- You want me to take it away?
941
00:33:59,410 --> 00:34:00,620
No, I'm gonna keep the muffin.
942
00:34:00,700 --> 00:34:02,136
- Thank you very much.
- You enjoy the scone.
943
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:03,796
- Yeah, I'll enjoy the muffin.
- I'm good.
944
00:34:03,820 --> 00:34:05,926
- Thank you, that's great. Thank you.
- Okay. Awesome.
945
00:34:05,950 --> 00:34:07,320
It doesn't matter.
946
00:34:07,410 --> 00:34:09,570
- Yeah. I'm just having a good time.
- Hmm? Doesn't it?
947
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:11,870
Um...
948
00:34:11,950 --> 00:34:14,030
Oh! So when I first met Mocha Joe...
949
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,280
Ugh. Oh, hold on.
950
00:34:16,370 --> 00:34:18,070
- No. No. No.
- What's wrong?
951
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:19,160
Mocha Joe!
952
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,370
- Mocha Joe!
- Yeah.
953
00:34:22,990 --> 00:34:25,450
This coffee's... it's not hot.
954
00:34:25,530 --> 00:34:27,950
- It's plenty hot.
- No, it's, it's plenty not.
955
00:34:28,030 --> 00:34:30,820
- It's, it's, it is, it is at best luke.
- It's hot.
956
00:34:30,910 --> 00:34:32,756
- Oh, God.
- I don't know what to tell you.
957
00:34:32,780 --> 00:34:34,346
This is not, this is
not a hot cup of coffee.
958
00:34:34,370 --> 00:34:35,966
- It's a hot cup of coffee.
- Coffee should be served hot.
959
00:34:35,990 --> 00:34:37,006
- This is not hot.
- It's hot.
960
00:34:37,030 --> 00:34:38,450
I beg to differ. This is not hot.
961
00:34:38,530 --> 00:34:40,136
And I tell you what.
Here's how I'll prove it to you.
962
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:41,346
- No, no, no, I don't know...
- Would I be able to do this?
963
00:34:41,370 --> 00:34:42,950
Would I be able to do this
964
00:34:43,030 --> 00:34:44,740
if this was a hot cup of coffee?
965
00:34:45,370 --> 00:34:47,240
- Oh. Oh.
- Okay.
966
00:34:48,030 --> 00:34:50,176
- Doesn't even hurt. Doesn't even hurt.
- I can't do this.
967
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:51,466
- This coffee's not hot.
- Jon Hamm...
968
00:34:51,490 --> 00:34:53,200
- ...you have turned into Larry.
- What...
969
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,280
- I'm done. I can't do this.
- Cheryl...
970
00:34:55,370 --> 00:34:56,280
God.
971
00:34:56,370 --> 00:34:57,910
- Cheryl!
- No.
972
00:34:57,990 --> 00:34:59,740
- Come on.
- Nope.
973
00:35:00,700 --> 00:35:03,120
See, now look. The table.
Look at this. All over the place.
974
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:04,716
- All right, you know what, Jon Hamm?
- All over the place.
975
00:35:04,740 --> 00:35:06,200
- Unbelievable.
- Get out.
976
00:35:06,570 --> 00:35:07,910
Happy to.
977
00:35:09,950 --> 00:35:11,780
And you're banned, Jon Hamm!
978
00:35:11,870 --> 00:35:13,870
I don't care!
979
00:35:19,910 --> 00:35:21,160
Hey!
980
00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:23,320
I'm here!
981
00:35:23,410 --> 00:35:26,120
Look. Look! Flowers, balloons.
982
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,870
Larry David. What could be better?
983
00:35:28,950 --> 00:35:31,636
- Take a smell of that. Yeah? Pretty good.
- Yep. Smells like flowers.
984
00:35:31,660 --> 00:35:33,620
- Right? Where do you want 'em? Here?
- Yeah.
985
00:35:33,700 --> 00:35:36,240
Ugh. I came as soon as I could.
986
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:37,530
Did you?
987
00:35:37,620 --> 00:35:38,700
Yes, I did.
988
00:35:38,780 --> 00:35:41,450
'Cause it's, uh, been
a little over 24 hours
989
00:35:41,530 --> 00:35:43,200
since I called you and you were gonna
990
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,990
hop on the next flight.
So I just, I've been a little confused.
991
00:35:46,070 --> 00:35:48,410
Big issue with the TSA last night.
992
00:35:48,490 --> 00:35:51,256
- Ugh. I'm not even gonna bore you with it.
- Why would book a night flight?
993
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,370
I called you at 10:00 o'clock
yesterday morning.
994
00:35:53,450 --> 00:35:56,200
Um, you know, the... I couldn't
get a seat. There were no seats.
995
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,070
There were no seats
on any of the planes?
996
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:01,490
There were...
997
00:36:01,570 --> 00:36:03,200
no seats...
998
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:04,450
for me?
999
00:36:04,530 --> 00:36:08,280
Are you talking about
first class seats?
1000
00:36:08,370 --> 00:36:11,280
Uh...
1001
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:14,870
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah?
1002
00:36:14,950 --> 00:36:16,240
I broke my leg!
1003
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:17,700
- I called you scared.
- Yeah.
1004
00:36:17,780 --> 00:36:18,870
- And hurt.
- Yeah. I know.
1005
00:36:18,950 --> 00:36:21,410
I'm not worth two hours
in a coach seat?
1006
00:36:21,490 --> 00:36:23,740
- You know. All right, I'm gonna be...
- What?
1007
00:36:23,820 --> 00:36:26,046
- I'll just be straight with you, okay?
- Yeah. That'd be great.
1008
00:36:26,070 --> 00:36:28,280
- I've been honest with you up until now.
- Yes.
1009
00:36:28,370 --> 00:36:30,820
- So I'm gonna be honest with you again.
- Go for it.
1010
00:36:32,370 --> 00:36:34,660
I have a bleeding rectum.
1011
00:36:35,950 --> 00:36:37,490
They're okay with you bleeding
1012
00:36:37,570 --> 00:36:39,320
out of your rectum in first class?
1013
00:36:39,410 --> 00:36:42,570
It's a more comfortable
place to bleed.
1014
00:36:42,660 --> 00:36:45,030
I think it's probably best
that you go.
1015
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:46,990
- What?
- Yeah. Leave the flowers,
1016
00:36:47,070 --> 00:36:49,320
but take the ugly balloon,
and just go.
1017
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,490
Okay.
1018
00:36:53,620 --> 00:36:56,660
- Hey. You gonna eat that Jell-O?
- I'm not gonna eat the Jell-O.
1019
00:36:57,570 --> 00:36:58,820
Hmm.
1020
00:36:59,728 --> 00:37:05,551
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
1021
00:38:13,990 --> 00:38:16,280
Ah! Mr. Takahashi!
How you hitting 'em, Mr. T?
1022
00:38:16,530 --> 00:38:18,410
- Not your concern.
- Ah.
1023
00:38:20,950 --> 00:38:23,410
The color of a car
doesn't really matter to me,
1024
00:38:23,490 --> 00:38:26,280
because I don't really see it
when I'm inside the car.
1025
00:38:26,370 --> 00:38:27,700
It's like being inside your face.
1026
00:38:27,780 --> 00:38:28,926
I don't know what my face looks like.
1027
00:38:28,950 --> 00:38:30,870
- Who forgets their face?
- I'm in a capsule.
1028
00:38:30,950 --> 00:38:32,780
Everything's coming
from inside the capsule.
1029
00:38:33,070 --> 00:38:35,200
I haven't seen you take
one piece of red licorice yet.
1030
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:36,280
Only black for you?
1031
00:38:36,620 --> 00:38:39,030
Something wrong with a person
supporting black and shit?
1032
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,410
Black licorice, black jellybeans...
1033
00:38:41,490 --> 00:38:43,530
- You feel me?
- No, I feel you.
77660
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.