Original subtitles

In tribute to Jean Cocteau

Charlotte and Her Bloke

It's me

I know it's you. I knew you'd come back.

I said you would. You can't stay away from me.

You're an idiot. You never listen

I know why you're back. You've come to say you're sorry.

It's too late. Whatever it is, you´d better not say it.

It's incredible

Sure, you're the prettiest girl in Paris. So what, big deal!

With a guy like that you could see it coming. Idiot!

Honestly, you exaggerate

I know what you're going to say, but it's rot, complete rot

So, it didn't work out

It didn't work out because it couldn't work out

It couldn't work out because it shouldn't have. Impossible. Possible...

You should know that "impossible" is a French word

I too could throw myself at just anyone. Easy

I'm not blaming you for being in love but for thinking he was too

You can believe in love, but not in theories about it

Girls are incredible. Honestly

They say love's like a waltz. Three little twirls, yes, yes, yes! Well, no!

That's why I said nothing

I knew you'd be back in a week, your tail between your legs

So what the hell are you doing here? Look at you now

You'll tell me you couldn't have known. But you could, idiot

A creep like that!

I knew he'd drop you

I could see it coming. You're such a fool

It's amazing how girls have no common sense

I don't deny you've a very nice little body

But you're still a nasty little bitch

I know you think he'll use you in his next film because you sleep with him

No chance. I know him. He's scum

Listen to me!

If you at least made love properly, put your knee here, hand there, pushed a bit

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn´t witnessed it. It can get on your nerves

I told you, he's not the type to take it lightly

He doesn't give a damn about girls

What're you thinking about?

- What do you do together? - Nothing. He messes me about

Let me finish. I warned you not to make a fool of me

The same old story. Shit!

I don't blame you for running off with a guy you've known for three minutes...

...when you've loved me for three years

But doing it so flippantly. Worse, with obvious flippancy. There's a difference

Don't play the fool

Don't deny it. I told you it couldn't work. I knew you'd be back

Seriously, you can't do without me

I told you a thousand times you never will

I know you're thinking I can't live without you either. I agree

That's exactly why I knew you'd be back

Don't deny it

Because I love you, Charlotte, you're forced to love me.

If I didn't love you, OK. But since I do, you must love me too. It's obvious

Don't say no. You're tiresome. It's too much

It was a barmy thing to do, my girl

You don't have to be a genius, but you could use your brain now and again

That's right, you little fool

You're set on being in films? You'll have to sleep with thousands more guys

Anyway, why films?

It's cheap...

Cheap and corny

What is a film anyway? A big head pulling faces in a little hall

You must be crazy to go for that!

I know what I'm talking about. The cinema is an illusory art

Novels, painting, OK!

But not the cinema. Everyone will tell you you're crazy

But you never listen. So: you're the only girl in Paris anyone can have...

...for free!

I know what you're going to say... that you love it

Rather go on the streets. At least you'd make some money

It's true! But when I suggested it you refused. All right!

But playing a streetwalker inside is a thousand times worse

I can screw around. But not you!

Because you compromise your soul. Yes!

There's a soul behind the face

And you see a girl's soul in her face

It's not the same for boys. That shocks you?

It reminds me of a nut-case, full of hot air

Know what he said?

"What is most important, ladies and gentlemen, is not love, not war...

"...not money, nor happiness, nor women

"No, what is most important is the subtle difference!"

Yes, kitten. But that'll be the day when you grasp that

Christ...

You've cut your hair. But you're crazy! Just look at you!

France is full of idiots but you break all the records

I know what you'll say but you're wrong

Unbelievable. Girls don't even realise it, but it's obvious

You're idiots by definition. Keep still!

Let me finish

I know exactly what you're going to say: why do I love you? Well, you're a idiot!

Who says I love you? I don't any more, so there!

You should have seen it coming. You've come back for nothing, dimwit

I told you if you ditched me you'd come back a week later saying you're sorry

I said I wouldn't give a damn

You'll plead with me in vain. I'll pretend not to hear

Like that actor, when Simone Simon told him she'd throw herself out of the window

-I don't remember... -It's in that Max Ophuls film

Shut up! It's all your fault

The morning we were getting married. If you hadn't overslept...

We wouldn't have been too late for the Town Hall

Always the same. Girls think everything they do is permissible

Damn! It's unforgivable

I warned you. You'll fall flat on your face

I knew you'd come snivelling back

You're too much. It'll be a miracle if I forgive you. There are limits

Yes, damn it!

But miracles are very important. Everything that happens is miraculous

Know what Picasso said to Jean Cocteau?

"It's a miracle...

"...not to drown in the bath!"

Don't answer me! You'll be wrong

Your great fault is babbling on forever. Guys hate it

You should know that by now

Don't pretend not to listen

I know you're listening

I know that creep's waiting for you down there in his car

So get out!

I know your tricks, remember!

When we met, me in my parachutist's beret, you were bleating...

"My parents have thrown me out. I've nowhere to sleep." And idiot that I was...

"Sleep in my bed. I'll sleep in an armchair." Disgusting!

"Won't you put the coat over my feet?" You couldn't find a bigger idiot!

And me stroking you while you pretended to snooze

In the morning you put on the sweet innocent act

You looked at your naked reflection and asked: "What must you think of me?"

Christ! What do I think of you? Just look at yourself

Joking apart, when I said you had pretty breasts it was to please you

I´m allowed to joke now and then, right?

Incredible!

You're not the first I've foretold the worst for, and God knows I'm always right

Look at your pal, Véronique. Girls like that...

You keep thinking men love you for your minds...

They love your bums! You like men who despise you. For example, dancing...

The first time we met...

Dancing the samba, the mambo. But the poor jerks who go, in their ties...

...multicoloured...

What do they want?

Rhythm, sambas, mambos? Forget it! They come...

...to rub up against it!

Oh, it's a waste of time. Why don't you clear off?

I've had it up to here...

...having my electric razor used for what? For shaving your legs!

At last I'll have some peace!

At last I'll have my room back

I'll stand at the window without getting your undies in my face

I've been against guys who live off women...

How wrong! Women should be kicked about!

I never wanted to, because I believed in being civilised

I was stupid! You must beat them

That's it. They need beating up! It's sad to say, but you must

You can tell them whatever you like

Not at all. I'm talking sense, one sentence following the next

You must stay with me. It's Cartesian logic. You love me, I love you

I'm deliberately speaking like an actor. I'm deeply moved

You know I can't do without you. Slut! If I'd known!

And that money with the caretaker. Don't pretend you've forgotten

If you go I'm finished

Find another guy who'll put up with the lot without complaining

The evening you didn't come back, at the commissariat, they laughed and winked

Too bad. I don't give a damn. I´m not angry with you

Yes, I am angry. No, I´m not

No, yes, I am... I don't know. It's funny

I'm angry with you without being angry

I know I'm pathetic but it's because I love you

I can't live without you. What shall I do if you leave me?

I'm begging you not to leave me. Besides, if you do. I'll smash your face in

I've got contacts too. I've had a telegram from Hollywood, for my novel

Stay with me. As soon as my book's out, I'll buy you an Alfa Romeo

English cars are crummy. I've always said you lacked taste

You're right, I'm rambling. But it's your fault I'm all mixed up

I've been miserable since you left

Don't leave me alone, I beg you. Stay!

You can't. I'll kill myself. I don't want to kill myself

I beg you, Charlotte, stay!

I know what you'll say: men in love are cowardly, lazy, cruel, stupid

Yes, it's true. I'm a swine

But deep down you don't dislike it

You need someone like me...a guy with style. Don't deny it, I know

You can't do without me either

That's why you're back, is that right?

No, Jules, I came back for my toothbrush