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1
00:00:00,250 --> 00:00:01,626
Thanks, everybody,
for coming out
2
00:00:01,685 --> 00:00:02,858
to Hitchcock's
divorce party.
3
00:00:02,943 --> 00:00:04,218
Why is the cake
two men getting married?
4
00:00:04,302 --> 00:00:06,070
That's me and Hitchcock.
The boys are back together!
5
00:00:06,154 --> 00:00:07,654
This cake
for a gay wedding.
6
00:00:07,739 --> 00:00:09,257
- The inside is a rainbow.
- Nuh‐uh.
7
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,311
It's my favorite flavor:
all the flavors!
8
00:00:11,396 --> 00:00:13,038
I can't believe
Bethany's gone.
9
00:00:13,123 --> 00:00:15,440
- It was so out of the blue.
- Well, not entirely.
10
00:00:15,524 --> 00:00:17,788
I mean, she did have an affair
with her hairdresser,
11
00:00:17,873 --> 00:00:19,539
and you filmed it and
threatened to release the tape,
12
00:00:19,623 --> 00:00:20,828
and then she said
she didn't care
13
00:00:20,912 --> 00:00:22,117
and put it on the internet
herself,
14
00:00:22,201 --> 00:00:23,203
and then when it
started to make money,
15
00:00:23,287 --> 00:00:24,421
you sued her
for half the profits.
16
00:00:24,505 --> 00:00:26,827
And then boom, out of
the blue: divorce papers.
17
00:00:26,912 --> 00:00:27,999
Aw, buddy, you'll be okay.
18
00:00:28,084 --> 00:00:29,756
It doesn't feel like it.
19
00:00:30,014 --> 00:00:32,874
My heart is ruined forever.
I'm done with love.
20
00:00:32,959 --> 00:00:34,319
I'll never find anyone as...
21
00:00:34,404 --> 00:00:37,452
Oh, my God!
Get a load of the can on her!
22
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,655
See ya dorks,
I'm gonna get some.
23
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,905
Well, Hitchcock still sucks.
24
00:00:41,990 --> 00:00:44,146
*BROOKLYN NINE-NINE*
25
00:00:44,499 --> 00:00:48,725
*BROOKLYN NINE-NINE*
Season 07 Episode 06
26
00:00:49,042 --> 00:00:51,042
Episode Title: "Trying"
Aired on: 03/05/2020
27
00:00:51,336 --> 00:00:53,443
Synchronized by srjanapala
28
00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:03,280
Hey,
29
00:01:03,365 --> 00:01:05,639
did you get my
sexy calendar invite?
30
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,522
You mean the one titled
"8:00 pm coitus"?
31
00:01:08,607 --> 00:01:10,968
Yes, and the one
titled 7:55 foreplay.
32
00:01:11,053 --> 00:01:12,554
You didn't
accept either invite.
33
00:01:12,693 --> 00:01:15,054
Oh.
I can start foreplay later.
34
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,077
No, no, no.
I love foreplay, as you know.
35
00:01:17,162 --> 00:01:18,100
It's just...
this is all feeling
36
00:01:18,185 --> 00:01:19,858
a little overscheduled,
you know?
37
00:01:19,943 --> 00:01:22,741
It might be taking some of
the fun out of making a baby.
38
00:01:22,826 --> 00:01:25,788
Oh, okay.
So what are you suggesting?
39
00:01:25,873 --> 00:01:28,194
Maybe we try this
The Jake Way.
40
00:01:28,279 --> 00:01:29,702
Eating dinner
starting with dessert?
41
00:01:29,787 --> 00:01:31,257
That's one Jake Way.
You know?
42
00:01:31,342 --> 00:01:32,186
The Jake Way is a brand.
43
00:01:32,271 --> 00:01:33,455
It encompasses
a whole lifestyle.
44
00:01:33,539 --> 00:01:35,181
So get ready,
because this month,
45
00:01:35,266 --> 00:01:37,633
we're making a baby
The Jake Way.
46
00:01:37,782 --> 00:01:39,697
Okay, I'm in.
Sounds fun.
47
00:01:39,782 --> 00:01:42,157
- So, are we doing tonight, or...
- Oh, no, no, no.
48
00:01:42,242 --> 00:01:44,150
The Jake Way does not believe
in scheduling.
49
00:01:44,235 --> 00:01:45,638
You gotta just let go.
50
00:01:45,723 --> 00:01:47,049
You don't know
what The Jake Way is.
51
00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:48,478
Nope,
but we've got a name for it,
52
00:01:48,563 --> 00:01:49,587
and that's a great start.
53
00:01:49,672 --> 00:01:50,972
The Jake Way!
54
00:01:51,410 --> 00:01:52,449
Lieutenant, as you know,
55
00:01:52,549 --> 00:01:55,020
I've been walking the same beat
for the past three weeks.
56
00:01:55,105 --> 00:01:57,036
It's become a bit tedious.
57
00:01:57,121 --> 00:01:58,271
I thought you loved tedium.
58
00:01:58,355 --> 00:02:00,098
I love monotony.
They're very different.
59
00:02:00,183 --> 00:02:01,872
I'm sorry,
but you know our policy
60
00:02:01,957 --> 00:02:03,622
is that uniformed officers
must walk
61
00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,106
the same beat for six months.
62
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:07,459
It's how they become familiar
with the community they serve.
63
00:02:07,543 --> 00:02:09,271
Well, surely you can
make an exception for me.
64
00:02:09,355 --> 00:02:10,380
I can't play favorites.
65
00:02:10,465 --> 00:02:11,701
You never did
when you were in charge.
66
00:02:11,785 --> 00:02:13,059
- Of course I did.
- Really?
67
00:02:13,144 --> 00:02:14,566
I never got any
special treatment.
68
00:02:14,651 --> 00:02:16,394
I think you
can do the math there.
69
00:02:16,686 --> 00:02:17,770
Damn.
70
00:02:17,855 --> 00:02:18,958
Well, think of it this way:
71
00:02:19,043 --> 00:02:20,460
It's like doing reps at a gym.
72
00:02:20,544 --> 00:02:22,379
Doing something
over and over again
73
00:02:22,463 --> 00:02:23,599
is how you
make your pecs pop.
74
00:02:23,683 --> 00:02:25,965
The only muscle
I care to work out is my brain.
75
00:02:26,050 --> 00:02:28,718
Then get those reps in
and make that brain pop.
76
00:02:28,802 --> 00:02:30,136
Pop, pop.
Pop, pop, pop.
77
00:02:30,220 --> 00:02:32,114
What you're describing
is an aneurism.
78
00:02:32,199 --> 00:02:34,474
Pop, pop.
Pop, pop, pop.
79
00:02:34,558 --> 00:02:36,434
It's official!
I'm in love.
80
00:02:36,518 --> 00:02:38,979
I just spent the night
with the woman of my dreams.
81
00:02:39,063 --> 00:02:40,647
The lady from
your divorce party?
82
00:02:40,731 --> 00:02:41,856
Yeah.
She's my soulmate.
83
00:02:41,940 --> 00:02:43,199
She's funny.
She's beautiful.
84
00:02:43,284 --> 00:02:45,355
- She has almost no scars.
- Hot biscuits.
85
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:46,941
It sounds like
you hooked a live one.
86
00:02:47,026 --> 00:02:48,861
I know; we walked
along the river for hours,
87
00:02:48,946 --> 00:02:50,280
just talking and laughing.
88
00:02:50,365 --> 00:02:52,910
She even gave me
her real number.
89
00:02:53,035 --> 00:02:54,494
- Really?
- Check it out.
90
00:02:54,738 --> 00:02:56,788
That's just a dirty
old napkin covered in sauce.
91
00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:59,528
Oh, no. Her number!
It's totally ruined.
92
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,418
I knew I shouldn't have
had those breakfast wings.
93
00:03:01,502 --> 00:03:02,715
Oh, bud, I'm so sorry.
94
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,997
Now all I have to
remember her by is this tooth.
95
00:03:05,082 --> 00:03:06,840
What the hell?
Why do you have that?
96
00:03:06,924 --> 00:03:08,553
We were eating pizza,
and it fell out of her mouth.
97
00:03:08,637 --> 00:03:10,598
Well, this is perfect.
We can use it to find her.
98
00:03:10,683 --> 00:03:12,856
- What do you mean?
- We just have to try fitting that tooth
99
00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:15,014
into the mouth of every woman
in New York City
100
00:03:15,099 --> 00:03:18,185
till we find the matching
gum hole of your one true love.
101
00:03:18,855 --> 00:03:21,858
My life is like a fairytale!
102
00:03:21,943 --> 00:03:23,731
So, Lieutenant,
sorry to take up your time.
103
00:03:23,816 --> 00:03:26,590
I just wanted to go over
the CompStat numbers.
104
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:29,028
Um, what the...
Is something wrong?
105
00:03:29,112 --> 00:03:30,707
Are the CompStat numbers bad?
106
00:03:32,457 --> 00:03:34,700
The numbers are
fine and I have to go.
107
00:03:34,785 --> 00:03:36,957
Oh, okay, then why'd you ask
for this meeting?
108
00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:38,036
Don't follow me.
109
00:03:38,121 --> 00:03:39,473
What?
I wasn't going to!
110
00:03:39,558 --> 00:03:42,028
This was a very
confusing interaction!
111
00:03:42,527 --> 00:03:44,089
Hmm.
112
00:03:44,779 --> 00:03:46,837
- Hello?
- Hello, Sergeant Santiago.
113
00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:48,613
I've taken your husband
hostage.
114
00:03:48,698 --> 00:03:50,533
If you ever want
to make a baby with him,
115
00:03:50,618 --> 00:03:52,369
you'll do exactly as I say.
116
00:03:52,454 --> 00:03:53,691
Jake, where are you?
117
00:03:53,776 --> 00:03:56,325
Oh, this isn't Jake.
This is the Syndicate.
118
00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:57,557
And you will never see us,
119
00:03:57,641 --> 00:03:59,011
because we are
everywhere and...
120
00:03:59,096 --> 00:04:00,106
You're by the elevators.
121
00:04:00,191 --> 00:04:02,005
Dammit! Don't...
look away! Look away!
122
00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:03,897
- Okay.
- Yes, that's better.
123
00:04:03,981 --> 00:04:05,895
On top of the copier,
there's a headset.
124
00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:08,443
Put it on and get in the limo
that's waiting out front.
125
00:04:08,527 --> 00:04:09,903
Mm, okay,
I love you.
126
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,698
I love you, too.
Now go!
127
00:04:14,183 --> 00:04:15,371
Are you Amy?
128
00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:17,176
- Tell him "yes."
- Yes.
129
00:04:17,261 --> 00:04:20,043
How does it feel
to be played like a puppet?
130
00:04:20,128 --> 00:04:23,083
Okay,
I'm walking into the apartment.
131
00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:26,252
Why did you have me
get $400 out of the ATM?
132
00:04:26,336 --> 00:04:28,671
Good question.
It's to pay for the Airbnb.
133
00:04:28,756 --> 00:04:30,622
You're giving them
$400 in cash?
134
00:04:30,721 --> 00:04:33,342
I broke several lamps while
trying to hide in the dark.
135
00:04:33,427 --> 00:04:34,754
Now, turn on the lights.
136
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:35,878
Okay.
137
00:04:36,459 --> 00:04:38,122
Hello... it's me.
138
00:04:38,207 --> 00:04:40,129
- Put down the drinks.
- Why? Are you upset?
139
00:04:40,245 --> 00:04:42,406
Yeah, and now I have
to take The Syndicate down.
140
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:43,825
Oh, my goodness.
141
00:04:43,910 --> 00:04:45,480
To be clear,
by "take down The Syndicate,"
142
00:04:45,564 --> 00:04:47,034
- you mean we're gonna have...
- We're gonna have sex, yeah. Okay.
143
00:04:47,118 --> 00:04:48,453
Yeah, absolutely.
Take your clothes off.
144
00:04:48,537 --> 00:04:50,377
Boyle, what are those?
145
00:04:50,462 --> 00:04:52,755
My guinea pigs.
This lady is Claire.
146
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:54,993
And this guy
is also named Claire.
147
00:04:55,078 --> 00:04:57,602
You can't have pets in here.
This is a police precinct.
148
00:04:57,690 --> 00:04:58,858
I know, I'm sorry.
149
00:04:58,943 --> 00:05:00,625
I got them
for Nikolaj's birthday,
150
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:01,751
but it turns out he's allergic
151
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,154
and the pet store
won't take them back.
152
00:05:03,238 --> 00:05:04,587
I've got a friend
who works in a lab.
153
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:06,071
I can call and see if they need
154
00:05:06,156 --> 00:05:07,345
any guinea pigs
for their research.
155
00:05:07,429 --> 00:05:09,682
They are not
science experiments!
156
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,891
They are living creatures
with rich inner lives.
157
00:05:12,001 --> 00:05:14,024
Claire number two is
stuck on his back like a bug.
158
00:05:14,109 --> 00:05:15,344
Oh, I'll handle this.
159
00:05:15,429 --> 00:05:17,016
Flip! Flip!
160
00:05:17,391 --> 00:05:18,884
Oh,
I flipped the wrong Claire.
161
00:05:18,969 --> 00:05:20,050
Stop flipping guinea pigs
162
00:05:20,134 --> 00:05:21,180
and get them out of here!
163
00:05:21,265 --> 00:05:23,142
I'll make 'em disappear,
Lieutenant.
164
00:05:23,262 --> 00:05:25,157
Oh!
Don't kill them.
165
00:05:25,282 --> 00:05:26,501
They have so much to live for.
166
00:05:26,586 --> 00:05:28,002
They haven't even
been to Manhattan yet.
167
00:05:28,086 --> 00:05:29,064
Okay, coast is clear.
168
00:05:29,149 --> 00:05:30,315
I know a safe place
we can hide these guys
169
00:05:30,399 --> 00:05:31,322
until we can find
homes for them.
170
00:05:31,407 --> 00:05:32,289
You're not
going to murder them?
171
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,458
Hell no.
I love animals.
172
00:05:33,543 --> 00:05:34,606
I'm the mushy one
on the squad.
173
00:05:34,690 --> 00:05:36,110
Right, of course.
174
00:05:38,235 --> 00:05:39,806
Here it is.
Supply closet K.
175
00:05:39,891 --> 00:05:40,946
It's full of CPR
training babies.
176
00:05:41,030 --> 00:05:42,790
No one goes in there
because it's too creepy.
177
00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:46,150
Oh my God.
178
00:05:46,235 --> 00:05:47,438
It's perfect.
179
00:05:47,523 --> 00:05:49,413
Well, I don't want
to take all the credit,
180
00:05:49,498 --> 00:05:51,671
but I'm pretty sure
doing it The Jake Way worked
181
00:05:51,756 --> 00:05:53,015
and we're getting pregnant.
182
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:55,265
That would be incredible,
but
183
00:05:55,350 --> 00:05:57,921
feels like you're setting us up
for disappointment.
184
00:05:58,005 --> 00:06:00,131
No, I'm just
being optimistic.
185
00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:02,132
You're amazing,
we're amazing,
186
00:06:02,217 --> 00:06:03,551
and it definitely worked.
187
00:06:03,635 --> 00:06:04,636
- It didn't work.
- Ugh!
188
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,412
I knew it.
I got bum nards!
189
00:06:06,497 --> 00:06:08,056
- Jake!
- Right, gotta stay optimistic.
190
00:06:08,141 --> 00:06:09,818
We can do this!
191
00:06:11,021 --> 00:06:12,531
So how are you feeling?
192
00:06:12,616 --> 00:06:14,436
Well, I'm pretty bummed,
but...
193
00:06:14,521 --> 00:06:15,922
Amy, could you
open your mouth for me?
194
00:06:16,006 --> 00:06:18,522
- What? No.
- Forget it, I just saw.
195
00:06:18,607 --> 00:06:19,714
She's got all her teeth...
196
00:06:20,003 --> 00:06:21,252
Even the back ones.
197
00:06:21,352 --> 00:06:22,522
Did that
turn your mood around?
198
00:06:22,606 --> 00:06:24,653
Nope.
But it's okay.
199
00:06:24,738 --> 00:06:26,330
I figured out how
we're gonna get pregnant.
200
00:06:26,414 --> 00:06:28,239
By doubling down
on The Jake Way?
201
00:06:28,324 --> 00:06:29,804
Ooh, do you think we could rent
the phone booth
202
00:06:29,888 --> 00:06:30,630
from the movie
"Phone Booth"?
203
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,302
No, from now on,
we're gonna do it The Amy Way.
204
00:06:33,387 --> 00:06:34,576
Does that mean
we're going back to
205
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:36,076
- the overly scheduled sex thing?
- No.
206
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,513
We're going way more scheduled.
207
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,247
- Ah, so even less fun.
- Big time.
208
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,263
This is a test,
and we're failing.
209
00:06:41,348 --> 00:06:42,982
Because we're not
studying hard enough.
210
00:06:43,067 --> 00:06:45,091
Or maybe this is just
211
00:06:45,176 --> 00:06:47,010
one of those tests
you can't study for?
212
00:06:49,724 --> 00:06:51,129
Oh, wow, that's a new laugh.
213
00:06:51,214 --> 00:06:52,810
Come on.
We're going binder shopping.
214
00:06:54,555 --> 00:06:55,865
I'm off
to walk my beat again,
215
00:06:55,950 --> 00:06:57,169
much like Sisyphus,
216
00:06:57,254 --> 00:06:59,075
condemned to
push the same boulder
217
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,013
up the same hill
day in and day out.
218
00:07:01,098 --> 00:07:03,763
You know, according to French
Philosopher Albert Camus,
219
00:07:03,848 --> 00:07:06,810
Sisyphus achieved happiness
in that absurd repetition.
220
00:07:06,895 --> 00:07:10,237
Any French philosophy
post‐Rousseau is essentially
221
00:07:10,322 --> 00:07:11,543
a magazine.
222
00:07:12,204 --> 00:07:13,622
You rube.
223
00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:15,166
Oh, hey, Boyle!
224
00:07:15,251 --> 00:07:17,340
Do you have
the 6th Street case file...
225
00:07:17,994 --> 00:07:19,559
Wait.
What's that?
226
00:07:19,644 --> 00:07:22,175
Uh, this?
It's... my water bottle.
227
00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:24,597
It looks like a water bottle
from a guinea pig cage.
228
00:07:24,682 --> 00:07:26,562
True, I got it for the guinea
pigs,
229
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:28,065
but they're not here anymore.
230
00:07:28,150 --> 00:07:30,568
So I decided to be green
and use it for myself.
231
00:07:34,730 --> 00:07:35,816
Ah!
Thirst quenched.
232
00:07:35,901 --> 00:07:37,033
What took you so long?
233
00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:38,449
Terry almost caught me.
234
00:07:38,534 --> 00:07:40,355
I had to drink from
the guinea pigs' water bottle.
235
00:07:40,439 --> 00:07:41,449
Amazingly, he...
236
00:07:41,534 --> 00:07:42,754
- Totally bought you'd do that?
- Mm‐hmm.
237
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:43,755
Yeah, I'm not surprised
at all.
238
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,528
Good news. My niece
will take the two Claires.
239
00:07:45,612 --> 00:07:46,324
She wants them as pets.
240
00:07:46,409 --> 00:07:47,743
That is great!
Okay.
241
00:07:48,175 --> 00:07:49,809
Now we just need
to find a home for ten more.
242
00:07:49,893 --> 00:07:51,230
Ten?
243
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,550
Boy Claire got girl Claire
pregnant
244
00:07:53,635 --> 00:07:55,020
and made a bunch
of little baby Claires.
245
00:07:55,104 --> 00:07:56,224
Oh, they're
having sex again.
246
00:07:56,308 --> 00:07:57,675
- Mm‐hmm.
- Both: Oh, Claire.
247
00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,011
- Claire.
- Claire.
248
00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:01,628
I gotta say,
I'm loving these.
249
00:08:01,713 --> 00:08:03,238
I always wanted to wear
Hammer pants.
250
00:08:03,323 --> 00:08:04,120
Stop.
Hammer time?
251
00:08:04,205 --> 00:08:05,925
No.
Stop joking around.
252
00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:07,089
You're wearing those pants
253
00:08:07,174 --> 00:08:08,950
to keep your testicles away
from your body's warm core
254
00:08:09,034 --> 00:08:10,206
so your sperm
don't overheat.
255
00:08:10,291 --> 00:08:12,527
Well, I am loving the breeze.
I feel like I'm 83.
256
00:08:12,612 --> 00:08:13,566
All right, focus up.
257
00:08:13,651 --> 00:08:15,269
This is our
pregnancy war room.
258
00:08:15,354 --> 00:08:16,433
On the master calendar,
259
00:08:16,518 --> 00:08:18,011
we will track
ovulation windows,
260
00:08:18,096 --> 00:08:18,933
menstruation cycles,
261
00:08:19,018 --> 00:08:21,385
- and every uterine deposit.
- "Uterine deposit"?
262
00:08:21,470 --> 00:08:23,511
Is that what we're calling sex?
It seems a little clinical.
263
00:08:23,595 --> 00:08:25,679
Well, you could always
shorten it to U. D.
264
00:08:25,914 --> 00:08:27,010
Or "ud."
265
00:08:27,095 --> 00:08:28,049
Yeah, I don't
want to do that.
266
00:08:28,134 --> 00:08:30,060
Here's a list of
everything you cannot eat
267
00:08:30,145 --> 00:08:31,184
while we are trying
to conceive.
268
00:08:31,268 --> 00:08:32,436
No more nachos?
269
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,104
Even if they're in
a novelty baseball helmet?
270
00:08:34,188 --> 00:08:34,856
No.
271
00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:36,857
Whoa, this is serious.
272
00:08:36,941 --> 00:08:38,692
We will adhere to
a strict exercise regimen
273
00:08:38,776 --> 00:08:39,693
and sleep schedule.
274
00:08:39,777 --> 00:08:41,361
Also, no more video games,
275
00:08:41,445 --> 00:08:43,030
because they cause stress
and they raise your heart rate.
276
00:08:43,114 --> 00:08:44,698
More stress
than being a police officer?
277
00:08:44,782 --> 00:08:46,636
Jake, I've seen you play
"Mario Party."
278
00:08:46,721 --> 00:08:48,035
Wario cheats!
279
00:08:48,119 --> 00:08:49,901
I'm just saying,
Wario cheats.
280
00:08:49,986 --> 00:08:51,050
It's a stupid game.
281
00:08:51,135 --> 00:08:52,706
Look, I know
it isn't easy,
282
00:08:52,790 --> 00:08:54,511
but this could increase our
chances
283
00:08:54,596 --> 00:08:56,564
of getting pregnant
by 19% a month.
284
00:08:56,649 --> 00:08:57,925
Yeah, of course.
Absolutely.
285
00:08:58,010 --> 00:08:59,059
So how do we get it started:
286
00:08:59,143 --> 00:09:00,511
Dim the lights,
put on some music?
287
00:09:00,596 --> 00:09:02,183
Swallow 35 vitamins each.
288
00:09:02,268 --> 00:09:04,049
Oh.
Cheers.
289
00:09:04,729 --> 00:09:05,729
Oh.
290
00:09:05,923 --> 00:09:07,768
Let's make a baby!
291
00:09:11,432 --> 00:09:13,353
I probably should have had some
water ready.
292
00:09:13,439 --> 00:09:17,550
Okay, basal
body temp is optimal.
293
00:09:17,635 --> 00:09:18,648
Let's do this quickly.
294
00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:22,121
Oh, Amy, I'm not some faucet
you can just turn on and off.
295
00:09:22,206 --> 00:09:23,371
You gotta romance me.
296
00:09:23,456 --> 00:09:24,840
Faucet's on!
Let's ud!
297
00:09:24,925 --> 00:09:26,531
- Thank You.
- Spasibo.
298
00:09:26,615 --> 00:09:27,991
- Okay.
- Do svidaniya.
299
00:09:28,075 --> 00:09:29,253
Okay.
300
00:09:32,678 --> 00:09:33,721
Sorry!
301
00:09:33,806 --> 00:09:35,347
I thought you separated
the males and the females.
302
00:09:35,431 --> 00:09:37,478
Well, it's hard.
They're all named Claire.
303
00:09:37,563 --> 00:09:38,744
You named them Claire!
304
00:09:43,579 --> 00:09:45,290
Oh, come on.
305
00:09:45,375 --> 00:09:47,752
It's like every woman in this
city has all of her teeth.
306
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:50,252
Stupid Bloomberg
and his stupid soda ban!
307
00:09:50,337 --> 00:09:52,947
Okay, 6:14, it's ud o'clock!
308
00:09:53,032 --> 00:09:54,041
Okay.
309
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:56,061
- Here we go.
- Mm‐hmm.
310
00:09:56,145 --> 00:09:58,087
So this bag of pellets
is your lunch?
311
00:09:58,172 --> 00:09:59,736
Yup, it's the perfect
food for a human man.
312
00:10:00,756 --> 00:10:02,118
- You want some?
- No!
313
00:10:09,202 --> 00:10:10,399
Spasibo.
314
00:10:10,548 --> 00:10:12,244
- Do svidaniya.
- Do svidaniya.
315
00:10:14,826 --> 00:10:15,966
Sorry!
316
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,838
Where were you?
You're 19 minutes late.
317
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:21,169
My temperature is shot to hell!
318
00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:22,446
I know.
I'm Sorry.
319
00:10:22,531 --> 00:10:24,005
I got detained
by the transit cops because
320
00:10:24,089 --> 00:10:25,840
my baggy pants
fell off on the subway.
321
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,467
Let's just ud
and get it over with.
322
00:10:27,552 --> 00:10:28,620
Oh, my God.
323
00:10:28,705 --> 00:10:30,390
There's so many of them.
324
00:10:30,475 --> 00:10:31,475
Sit.
325
00:10:31,706 --> 00:10:33,933
Yeah, good boy.
326
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,420
- You awake?
- Nope.
327
00:10:40,505 --> 00:10:42,398
- You?
- No. Let's do this.
328
00:10:42,483 --> 00:10:43,483
Okay.
329
00:10:43,567 --> 00:10:45,380
- Shirts on?
- Definitely.
330
00:10:45,497 --> 00:10:46,736
- Spasibo.
- Pozhaluysta.
331
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,622
Mnogo kliyentov segodnya?
332
00:10:50,121 --> 00:10:51,156
Make it a double.
333
00:10:51,241 --> 00:10:52,491
My heart has a hole in it.
334
00:10:52,576 --> 00:10:54,138
I might as well
fill it with booze.
335
00:10:54,223 --> 00:10:55,246
Same for me.
336
00:10:55,330 --> 00:10:57,348
Except my hole's in my mouth.
337
00:10:58,035 --> 00:10:59,115
It's you!
338
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,209
My toothless Cinderella!
339
00:11:01,746 --> 00:11:05,672
Well, that was definitely
technically sex.
340
00:11:05,757 --> 00:11:07,233
Yep.
341
00:11:07,581 --> 00:11:08,915
Maybe that was the one.
342
00:11:09,009 --> 00:11:10,601
Nope.
Not the one.
343
00:11:11,887 --> 00:11:13,346
- I'm so exhausted.
- Me too.
344
00:11:13,430 --> 00:11:15,149
But the doctor said
that it could take a while.
345
00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:16,349
I know.
It's just...
346
00:11:16,433 --> 00:11:19,101
we're doing everything right,
and it's still not working.
347
00:11:19,186 --> 00:11:21,438
What kind of perfect person do
you have to be to get pregnant?
348
00:11:21,522 --> 00:11:23,701
We're having a baby!
349
00:11:24,089 --> 00:11:26,049
Oh, rot in hell!
350
00:11:28,405 --> 00:11:29,725
Congratulations, Hitchcock,
351
00:11:29,810 --> 00:11:31,101
it's the first wedding
I've ever been to
352
00:11:31,185 --> 00:11:32,827
with a cover charge.
It's for our honeymoon.
353
00:11:32,911 --> 00:11:33,819
We're going to Barbados,
354
00:11:33,904 --> 00:11:35,491
and we'll have the island
all to ourselves,
355
00:11:35,575 --> 00:11:37,194
because it's Dengue Fever
season.
356
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:38,499
But your wife is pregnant.
357
00:11:38,584 --> 00:11:39,889
You can't live in fear.
358
00:11:39,974 --> 00:11:41,860
Don't want to spend every
moment worried about Dengue
359
00:11:41,944 --> 00:11:44,202
or black mold
or those weird spots
360
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,726
on the MRI
they found on your brain.
361
00:11:45,811 --> 00:11:47,155
Hitchcock,
is your brain okay?
362
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,998
The point is: I don't care.
363
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,764
Also, Anna's family
is from the Old Country
364
00:11:50,849 --> 00:11:51,787
and kind of conservative,
365
00:11:51,886 --> 00:11:53,132
so try not to mention
the baby to them.
366
00:11:53,216 --> 00:11:55,004
Perfect; I'll just do
what I always do at weddings:
367
00:11:55,088 --> 00:11:56,929
not talk to anyone
I don't know already.
368
00:11:57,014 --> 00:11:58,335
You're the best, Jake.
369
00:11:58,420 --> 00:12:00,039
That's why you're
the baby's godfather.
370
00:12:00,124 --> 00:12:01,201
Wait.
I am?
371
00:12:01,286 --> 00:12:02,295
Ugh.
372
00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:04,631
I can't believe
they're pregnant and we're not.
373
00:12:04,716 --> 00:12:05,725
How did they do it?
374
00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:06,873
They got drunk and had sex
375
00:12:06,999 --> 00:12:08,381
in a public park
next to a skunk.
376
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,959
Hitchcock sent me
a very long text
377
00:12:10,044 --> 00:12:11,054
with a lot of details in it.
378
00:12:11,138 --> 00:12:11,975
I think
it was meant for Scully.
379
00:12:12,060 --> 00:12:14,287
Ugh, the world is officially
upside down.
380
00:12:14,372 --> 00:12:16,373
Wait a minute.
Maybe that's it.
381
00:12:16,458 --> 00:12:18,139
We tried getting pregnant
The Jake Way;
382
00:12:18,224 --> 00:12:19,076
we tried The Amy Way.
383
00:12:19,161 --> 00:12:20,745
Maybe it's time we tried it...
384
00:12:20,830 --> 00:12:21,998
The Hitchcock Way.
385
00:12:22,083 --> 00:12:23,155
What's The Hitchcock Way?
386
00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:25,928
In every situation,
make the worst possible decision.
387
00:12:26,475 --> 00:12:27,865
Okay.
What the hell?
388
00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:28,897
Nothing else is working.
389
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,070
Let's try it The Hitchcock Way.
390
00:12:30,154 --> 00:12:32,826
All right, so first move:
Get hammered.
391
00:12:33,390 --> 00:12:34,412
Drink up.
392
00:12:34,497 --> 00:12:36,694
Uh, these are someone else's.
There's lipstick on mine.
393
00:12:36,779 --> 00:12:38,108
Yeah,
there's a cigarette in mine.
394
00:12:38,193 --> 00:12:40,054
But we're doing things The
Hitchcock Way, so bottoms up!
395
00:12:40,138 --> 00:12:42,098
All right.
396
00:12:42,183 --> 00:12:43,889
For those of you
that don't know me,
397
00:12:43,974 --> 00:12:45,756
my name is Norm Scully.
398
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,475
Hitchcock is my partner,
399
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:48,695
and he's also my best friend.
400
00:12:48,779 --> 00:12:51,248
He buys the bear claws I like
when we're on a stakeout
401
00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:54,045
or when we're just
in the office or at home.
402
00:12:54,403 --> 00:12:55,524
I love him.
403
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:56,610
Anna Rubov,
404
00:12:56,695 --> 00:12:58,488
do you promise
to love and cherish
405
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,569
Michael Hitchcock as
much as I've loved him?
406
00:13:00,804 --> 00:13:01,888
I do.
407
00:13:01,973 --> 00:13:03,083
And, Michael Hitchcock,
408
00:13:03,168 --> 00:13:04,610
do you agree to shower Anna
409
00:13:04,695 --> 00:13:06,691
with the same love and kindness
you've shown me
410
00:13:06,776 --> 00:13:08,793
these 30 wonderful years
together?
411
00:13:08,878 --> 00:13:10,316
I do.
Dang.
412
00:13:10,401 --> 00:13:12,036
Terry didn't know
this was gonna be so sweet.
413
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,663
You may now kiss the bride.
414
00:13:20,295 --> 00:13:21,598
Hey, Rosa, good news.
415
00:13:21,683 --> 00:13:22,730
I just talked to someone
416
00:13:22,815 --> 00:13:24,551
who said he'd take
all the guinea pigs.
417
00:13:24,636 --> 00:13:26,340
All 600?
Why would he do that?
418
00:13:26,463 --> 00:13:27,809
I didn't ask.
I just said yes.
419
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,521
- Our prayers have been answered!
- Who is this guy?
420
00:13:29,605 --> 00:13:31,316
We gotta check him out,
make sure he's not weird.
421
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,761
He's just a normal guy
who's a friend of Hitchcock's...
422
00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:35,402
yep, we gotta check him out.
423
00:13:40,894 --> 00:13:42,278
Yeah, he's gonna
turn them into toupees.
424
00:13:42,362 --> 00:13:43,332
Oh, my god, he is.
425
00:13:43,417 --> 00:13:45,184
The Hitchcock Way is exactly
426
00:13:45,269 --> 00:13:46,473
what we needed, you know?
427
00:13:46,558 --> 00:13:48,660
These last six months have
actually been pretty hard.
428
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:49,605
Mm, no!
429
00:13:49,690 --> 00:13:51,379
Hitchcock doesn't
dwell on the past.
430
00:13:51,471 --> 00:13:53,721
Hitchcock
forgets about the past
431
00:13:53,806 --> 00:13:55,589
because
of the spots on his brain!
432
00:13:55,674 --> 00:13:56,466
Yes.
433
00:13:56,551 --> 00:13:57,424
To brain spots!
434
00:13:59,769 --> 00:14:02,354
- Oh! Cinnamon schnapps!
- Oh! Cinnamon schnapps!
435
00:14:02,439 --> 00:14:04,870
Barkeep, another round
of drink roulette.
436
00:14:04,955 --> 00:14:07,458
Lieutenant, I never see you
at Shaw's on a Sunday.
437
00:14:07,543 --> 00:14:10,034
Those nights are reserved for
spending time with your family.
438
00:14:10,119 --> 00:14:11,526
I guess you do make...
439
00:14:11,714 --> 00:14:13,432
- exceptions.
- What?
440
00:14:13,517 --> 00:14:15,112
The conversation
we had six months ago?
441
00:14:15,197 --> 00:14:16,300
The one where you
said you wouldn't make
442
00:14:16,384 --> 00:14:17,301
an exception for me.
443
00:14:17,386 --> 00:14:18,595
That was so long ago.
444
00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:19,909
A lot has happened
since then.
445
00:14:19,994 --> 00:14:22,440
Well, to me it seems like
mere minutes ago,
446
00:14:22,525 --> 00:14:25,784
because I've been living
the same day over and over again.
447
00:14:25,869 --> 00:14:28,206
Gentlemen, would either
of you mind giving some toasts?
448
00:14:28,291 --> 00:14:30,152
People are starting to notice
we didn't serve any food.
449
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:31,904
I have something
I'd like to say.
450
00:14:31,989 --> 00:14:33,561
Marriage is amazing.
451
00:14:33,646 --> 00:14:36,221
To get to spend every day
with the same person,
452
00:14:36,306 --> 00:14:39,225
day after day,
month after month on repeat.
453
00:14:39,392 --> 00:14:41,503
The comfort of knowing that
tomorrow
454
00:14:41,588 --> 00:14:44,090
will be just like
today is truly
455
00:14:44,198 --> 00:14:45,741
a rewarding assignment.
456
00:14:46,124 --> 00:14:47,104
To Hitchcock!
457
00:14:47,189 --> 00:14:47,948
Hear hear.
458
00:14:48,033 --> 00:14:49,132
I'd also like
to make a speech.
459
00:14:49,216 --> 00:14:53,557
Most marriages end in divorce,
and there's a reason.
460
00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:56,061
It's boring to be stuck
in the same routine forever.
461
00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:57,989
There's no value to be found
462
00:14:58,074 --> 00:15:00,458
in walking the same beat
over and over,
463
00:15:00,543 --> 00:15:02,337
especially when you've been
a captain for six years.
464
00:15:02,421 --> 00:15:04,932
The point is: marriage is
465
00:15:05,017 --> 00:15:08,186
a waste of my talents,
Lieutenant.
466
00:15:08,309 --> 00:15:10,138
To Hitchcock!
These are great.
467
00:15:10,223 --> 00:15:10,974
Really?
468
00:15:11,059 --> 00:15:12,778
I also have a toast to make.
469
00:15:12,863 --> 00:15:15,448
Hitchcock, I always thought
I was better than you,
470
00:15:15,533 --> 00:15:18,513
because I haven't been divorced
seven times
471
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:21,073
and I've never been
banned from a museum
472
00:15:21,158 --> 00:15:22,513
for kissing the statues.
473
00:15:22,598 --> 00:15:24,021
But today I realize
474
00:15:24,106 --> 00:15:27,955
that maybe my life would be
better if I was more like you.
475
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:31,427
Anyway, I gotta go
make a baby of my own
476
00:15:31,512 --> 00:15:33,763
just like the baby
inside of Anna.
477
00:15:35,340 --> 00:15:36,475
Nailed it. - Thank you.
478
00:15:36,559 --> 00:15:38,481
Why is she
saying these things, Anna?
479
00:15:38,566 --> 00:15:39,903
Okay, bud.
480
00:15:40,076 --> 00:15:43,400
Are you ready to have some
stupid Hitchcock‐style sex?
481
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:45,083
Oh, yeah,
where are we going?
482
00:15:45,168 --> 00:15:46,248
Nowhere.
483
00:15:46,333 --> 00:15:48,638
We're going right here
in Shaw's bathroom.
484
00:15:48,723 --> 00:15:50,428
Oh, that's such a bad idea.
485
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,083
I love it.
All right.
486
00:15:53,634 --> 00:15:54,810
Occupied!
487
00:15:54,895 --> 00:15:56,635
Someone's in there.
Should we wait?
488
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:57,802
Would Hitchcock wait?
489
00:15:57,887 --> 00:16:00,973
Hell no.
Hitchcock would find an alley!
490
00:16:01,896 --> 00:16:03,242
Well, this is perfect.
491
00:16:03,326 --> 00:16:05,489
There's probably so many skunks
skunking around here.
492
00:16:05,574 --> 00:16:07,349
Oh, yeah.
We're gonna make a skunk baby.
493
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:08,396
Yeah.
494
00:16:08,481 --> 00:16:09,950
- Hello.
- Huh?
495
00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:12,286
Don't worry about me.
I don't want to join.
496
00:16:12,409 --> 00:16:13,902
I'm happy just to watch.
497
00:16:15,629 --> 00:16:17,638
Shouting in Russian...
498
00:16:17,723 --> 00:16:20,058
Crap; they're really
pissed that Anna's pregnant.
499
00:16:20,143 --> 00:16:21,936
No, it's more
complicated than that.
500
00:16:22,021 --> 00:16:24,263
Anna just called her
entire family hypocrites.
501
00:16:24,348 --> 00:16:25,349
Wait, you speak Russian?
502
00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:27,247
Huh.
I guess I do.
503
00:16:27,377 --> 00:16:29,002
I must have picked it up
from speaking to that woman
504
00:16:29,086 --> 00:16:30,396
at the coffee cart
for the past six months.
505
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,794
Shouting in Russian...
506
00:16:32,879 --> 00:16:33,638
Now what's happening?
507
00:16:33,723 --> 00:16:35,442
Anna's mother says Anna
508
00:16:35,527 --> 00:16:37,512
should be
with someone respectable,
509
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:40,658
like her sister's husband,
Boris, instead of the...
510
00:16:40,743 --> 00:16:42,105
- Pig man.
- Well, that's too bad,
511
00:16:42,190 --> 00:16:43,801
'cause she already married
the pig man.
512
00:16:43,886 --> 00:16:46,513
Both shouting in Russian...
513
00:16:47,019 --> 00:16:48,395
What's she saying?
514
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:51,065
She says that Boris
is not a good man.
515
00:16:51,172 --> 00:16:52,298
He's cheating on her sister.
516
00:16:52,383 --> 00:16:55,478
She knows because
he's the real father of her baby.
517
00:16:55,821 --> 00:16:57,614
Oh.
What?
518
00:16:57,993 --> 00:16:59,327
Oh, no!
519
00:17:02,242 --> 00:17:04,038
Someone's here.
This is too public!
520
00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:06,500
I mean, it wouldn't
stop Hitchcock, but fine.
521
00:17:06,585 --> 00:17:08,236
I know a secret spot.
522
00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:14,667
What was that?
523
00:17:14,962 --> 00:17:16,572
- What am I feeling right now?
- Huh?
524
00:17:16,657 --> 00:17:18,619
Are those all your
little hands?
525
00:17:29,307 --> 00:17:30,759
And this is the last one.
526
00:17:30,844 --> 00:17:32,307
We've rounded up
all the guinea pigs.
527
00:17:32,392 --> 00:17:34,517
Not even close.
528
00:17:34,736 --> 00:17:35,893
Guinea pig.
Guinea pig.
529
00:17:35,978 --> 00:17:38,284
Guinea pig.
Guinea pig. Guinea pig.
530
00:17:38,369 --> 00:17:40,745
What were you thinking,
breeding guinea pigs at work?
531
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:42,502
We weren't
breeding them on purpose.
532
00:17:42,587 --> 00:17:44,026
They're just
very sexual creatures,
533
00:17:44,111 --> 00:17:45,591
and we didn't want to
slut‐shame them.
534
00:17:45,705 --> 00:17:47,995
Yeah. Sorry you're not
more sex‐positive, Terry.
535
00:17:48,079 --> 00:17:49,354
I called my friend
at the lab.
536
00:17:49,439 --> 00:17:50,651
He's gonna take
the guinea pigs.
537
00:17:50,735 --> 00:17:52,605
They're not gonna do
any chemical tests on them.
538
00:17:52,689 --> 00:17:54,082
They're just gonna teach them
how to run mazes.
539
00:17:54,166 --> 00:17:55,361
Really?
I want you to look
540
00:17:55,445 --> 00:17:56,791
Claire 38 in the eye,
541
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:57,655
and tell her that...
542
00:17:57,739 --> 00:18:00,115
I'm sending
you to a lab, Claire; bye.
543
00:18:00,199 --> 00:18:01,283
You can't do this!
544
00:18:01,368 --> 00:18:03,487
- This is so unfair, Terry!
- You're a cruel man!
545
00:18:03,572 --> 00:18:04,902
Thank God
he found a way to end it.
546
00:18:04,986 --> 00:18:06,664
Oh, it's over.
The nightmare's over.
547
00:18:06,984 --> 00:18:08,276
There you are.
548
00:18:08,361 --> 00:18:09,785
You didn't wake me up
when you left this morning.
549
00:18:09,869 --> 00:18:10,767
I tried.
550
00:18:10,852 --> 00:18:12,043
You said, "I'm dead.
551
00:18:12,128 --> 00:18:13,549
Leave me.
Find someone new."
552
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:14,767
Yeah, pretty hungover.
553
00:18:14,852 --> 00:18:16,050
Look, last night wasn't great,
554
00:18:16,134 --> 00:18:17,383
but I think I know why.
555
00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:18,884
We were trying
to do it like Hitchcock
556
00:18:18,968 --> 00:18:20,886
when we should have been
trying to do it like Boris,
557
00:18:20,970 --> 00:18:23,055
the man who actually
impregnated Hitchcock's wife.
558
00:18:23,139 --> 00:18:24,501
So I found him
on Facebook and...
559
00:18:24,586 --> 00:18:25,640
Jake, stop.
560
00:18:25,725 --> 00:18:26,791
Why is it so easy
561
00:18:26,876 --> 00:18:28,728
for everyone else
to get pregnant?
562
00:18:28,813 --> 00:18:30,659
I mean, look at
these stupid guinea pigs.
563
00:18:30,744 --> 00:18:32,231
They made 600 babies,
564
00:18:32,315 --> 00:18:33,541
and we can't make one?
565
00:18:33,626 --> 00:18:35,056
Why can't we make
600 babies?
566
00:18:35,141 --> 00:18:37,268
You can't compare yourself
to guinea pigs, babe.
567
00:18:37,353 --> 00:18:38,645
You taught me that.
568
00:18:38,730 --> 00:18:40,106
I'm exhausted.
569
00:18:40,191 --> 00:18:41,739
And the universe
keeps telling us
570
00:18:41,824 --> 00:18:43,361
that it doesn't want us
to have a baby.
571
00:18:43,446 --> 00:18:44,744
The message
couldn't be clearer.
572
00:18:44,829 --> 00:18:46,486
So I'm done.
573
00:18:46,899 --> 00:18:48,580
Like, done for this month?
574
00:18:48,665 --> 00:18:50,900
Done.
Just done.
575
00:18:56,383 --> 00:18:57,422
Thank you for seeing me.
576
00:18:57,507 --> 00:19:00,237
I just wanted to let you know
I was wrong.
577
00:19:00,322 --> 00:19:02,159
Until last night,
I didn't realize
578
00:19:02,244 --> 00:19:03,611
how much Russian I'd learned.
579
00:19:03,696 --> 00:19:05,001
Yeah, it was impressive.
580
00:19:05,086 --> 00:19:06,939
- And your accent was great, too.
- Thank you,
581
00:19:07,024 --> 00:19:08,832
but I actually speak
with the accent of a peasant.
582
00:19:08,916 --> 00:19:10,854
Anyway, I walked my beat
this morning,
583
00:19:10,939 --> 00:19:12,730
and I spoke to several people
in Russian.
584
00:19:12,814 --> 00:19:15,441
They were so impressed,
they opened up to me.
585
00:19:15,626 --> 00:19:18,485
- I got a number of useful tips.
- All right.
586
00:19:18,569 --> 00:19:20,696
All because I made you
do something tedious.
587
00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:22,615
Monotonous.
Don't ruin this.
588
00:19:22,939 --> 00:19:25,345
Thanks for coming out
to Hitchcock's divorce party.
589
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:26,952
You know you got
another gay cake, right?
590
00:19:27,036 --> 00:19:28,087
What?
No way.
591
00:19:28,172 --> 00:19:29,954
It says "Boys! Boys! Boys!"
on it.
592
00:19:30,039 --> 00:19:31,650
Because we're the boys.
593
00:19:31,999 --> 00:19:34,502
Guys, I figured out what
went wrong between Anna and me.
594
00:19:34,587 --> 00:19:36,603
My job.
I'm a workaholic!
595
00:19:36,688 --> 00:19:37,837
Not anymore.
596
00:19:37,922 --> 00:19:40,507
From now on, I'm focusing
on what really matters.
597
00:19:40,592 --> 00:19:42,676
Come on, Scully,
let's get some wings.
598
00:19:42,761 --> 00:19:44,970
Aw, bud,
I thought you'd never ask.
599
00:19:45,481 --> 00:19:47,205
Hey, want some cake?
600
00:19:47,290 --> 00:19:48,737
I got a piece with a heart
on it,
601
00:19:48,822 --> 00:19:50,142
which I now realize is a butt.
602
00:19:50,226 --> 00:19:52,158
I'm good.
Thanks.
603
00:19:52,648 --> 00:19:54,149
So listen.
604
00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:56,363
I've been thinking about
what you said this morning...
605
00:19:56,447 --> 00:19:59,408
And it has been a really hard
couple of months.
606
00:19:59,537 --> 00:20:01,611
I'm sorry
I'm bad at making babies.
607
00:20:01,696 --> 00:20:03,331
Hey, hey, don't say that.
608
00:20:03,416 --> 00:20:04,533
It's not your fault.
609
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,198
And look, for all we know,
I could have...
610
00:20:06,282 --> 00:20:08,493
Don't say you have bum nards.
611
00:20:09,644 --> 00:20:11,384
I wasn't... I wasn't gonna.
612
00:20:13,249 --> 00:20:16,478
I think maybe it's just
a thing we can't control.
613
00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:19,002
That is my least
favorite kind of thing.
614
00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:20,087
I know.
615
00:20:20,172 --> 00:20:22,330
I really wanted
to start a family.
616
00:20:23,561 --> 00:20:26,767
Amy, we are a family.
617
00:20:26,901 --> 00:20:28,072
You and me.
618
00:20:28,157 --> 00:20:29,955
So, you know,
we can keep trying
619
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,459
or look into IVF or adoption
620
00:20:32,544 --> 00:20:35,212
or if we want, we can
forget about the whole thing.
621
00:20:35,297 --> 00:20:38,611
But if we're together,
I'm happy no matter what.
622
00:20:39,642 --> 00:20:41,080
I don't know
what I want to do.
623
00:20:41,165 --> 00:20:42,582
Fine.
That's okay too.
624
00:20:42,698 --> 00:20:44,074
We don't have
to have a plan.
625
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:45,786
We make the rules.
626
00:20:45,871 --> 00:20:47,623
Maybe it would help
to just not think
627
00:20:47,708 --> 00:20:49,208
about the whole thing
for a while
628
00:20:49,368 --> 00:20:50,572
and see where we're at.
629
00:20:50,657 --> 00:20:52,533
Yeah, okay.
630
00:20:53,956 --> 00:20:55,082
I love you.
631
00:20:55,167 --> 00:20:56,627
I love you.
632
00:21:07,340 --> 00:21:08,406
Should we go?
633
00:21:08,491 --> 00:21:09,992
- Yes.
- Okay.
634
00:21:12,048 --> 00:21:13,423
Nope.
46023
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