Original subtitles

(gun firing)

(screaming)

- His father's Alejandro Flores,

you need to disappear for a while, Nina.

- Does he come with a receipt?

Perfect.

- [Leah] You're in charge of the shop for a week

and you end up crowd funding Isis.

- Blood antiquities are being looted from Syria

by Jihadist militants.

- In New York I met a bounty hunter,

let's ask her how we get our money back.

- Why don't I come to you?

- Where's Nina Morales?

- Barnaby?

I thought your sister was coming.

- Oh no, my car's a two-seater.

- Oh, what you got, a Aston Martin?

(car locking system beeping)

(background chattering)

This is your car?

Get the fuck out of here.

This isn't a car, this is a frigging clown car.

- It's environmentally friendly.

- Depends upon the environment, huh?

You drive this piece of shit through my neighborhood,

you ain't making a lot of friends.

You need a hand with that?

- Nope.

(groaning with effort)

- Sure?

I don't think it's gonna fit.

- No, it's fine.

- [Nina] You good?

- Like Mary Poppins' handbag.

(mellow melodic music)

(traffic rumbling quietly)

(chewing gum noisily)

- So what happened to your face, Barnaby?

This guy, Smith do this to you?

- Well actually, it was,

yep, yes, he did.

- Don't worry, once we're through with his bitch ass,

he won't be winning any Miss America contests.

- That really won't be necessary,

I'm sure me and the bitch ass can resolve our differences

in a perfectly cordial manner.

- You talk funny.

(quiet rumbling)

Oh, my God, what's happening?

Are the doors about to fall off this clown car?

(quiet alert beeping)

- [Barnaby] Bugger!

(car horns tooting)

- Really?

(quiet squeaking)

- [Man in Van] Hey Noddy, get out of the fucking road!

(door opening) - Hm!

- [Nina] Hey, there she is, how you doing, huh?

- Nina, thank you so much for coming.

- Sure, how you holding up? - Good.

- Good.

Last time I saw this girl, she had brains all over her.

- [Leah] Let's not go there.

- Let's definitely go there.

- Well, nobody wants to see her boyfriend

get shot in the head, you know what I'm saying?

- Boyfriend, more of an acquaintance.

- And you didn't think that this was worth mentioning,

that this woman shot your acquaintance in the head?

- Oh no, no, no, no,

I shot the guy who shot her acquaintance.

- Oh, there's another man that's also dead?

Good, good, the body count rises.

Who wants tea?

- Oh, darling, darling babies!

- Mum! - Ooh, baby, ooh!

- Mum, what are you doing here?

- Oh, Penelope's badgering me about that trestle table

and I think it must be in your father's storage unit.

Who's this?

- Oh, well, this, Barnaby, do you want to?

- Yep,

well, this is Nina,

my new cleaner. - Girlfriend.

- Oh,

which is it?

- Both,

she was my cleaner and we fell in love,

so she's going to come and live here for a bit,

if that's okay.

- Of course,

oh, you haven't had a girlfriend for ever.

Oh, Nina, it's so, so lovely to meet you.

Oh, oh!

I'll go and change the sheets on his bed.

- Your freaking cleaner?

(footsteps ascending stairs)

(quiet traffic rumbling)

- Hello, back again.

- Hey, how you doing?

Listen, we're looking for a guy who came in here,

big guy, tattoos.

Hello, Earth to asshole!

I think this guy may have a little bit of a hearing problem.

Can you hear me now?

- Hm.

- Good! - Nina,

they have security cameras.

- Oh, good thinking, Barnaby.

Hey, cocksucker. - Hm?

- We need to see your security tapes.

(door buzzing)

(gasping for air)

- I do apologize for my colleague,

she's had rather a long flight.

(door closing)

That's him.

- He comes here a lot?

So he was here, this guy's a gambler

and if someone keeps winning,

you've gotta run a couple of checks on them, right?

- Hm.

- Just in case they have a history of fraud.

So sweetheart, I need you to give me his address,

before I slash the odds

on how long you remain attached to your balls.

(phone ringing)

(children playing nearby)

- [Youssef] We'll be there in half an hour.

(light haunting music)

- [Pancho] Mr. Foster?

Mr. Foster?

- Hi, how you doing?

Coffee?

- Is it Fair Trade?

I've a very delicate conscience.

- I think so.

- So tell me, Sofia,

where's Nina at?

- How do you know my name?

- Where's Nina, Sofia?

- I don't know any Nina.

- I think she'd be hurt to hear you say that.

- Coffee?

The man at the bar, he threatened me.

(traffic rumbling quietly)

(chewing gum noisily)

- Do you mind? - What?

- Just chewing that gum a little quieter.

Thank you.

Are you sure me and this chap

can't just come to some kind of gentleman's agreement?

- No, this guy's a punk.

Look, we'll just wait till he leaves, stage the break in,

take the money and go, alright.

(speaking in Spanish)

You speak Spanish?

- We used to go on holiday to Mallorca, Dad loved sailing.

- Oh, nice.

- Not really, I get seasick, like really seasick,

I have a spastic sphincter in my esophagus,

medical term, means I throw up a lot like a cat.

- Ugh! - Once I got so seasick,

I had to be airlifted off the topper,

Dad got rather disillusioned after that.

- Yeah,

but you've gotta remember you can't blame yourself.

- For what?

- Oh, you know, when somebody you love, you know, tries to.

- I beg your pardon?

- I mean, he has no money, he's gonna lose everything

and then he has a fall?

Oh, kid, wake up.

- No, he wouldn't do that.

- Yeah, how well do you know him?

- He's my father.

- Okay, so did you speak every day?

Every week?

Month?

- He's not an easy man to talk to.

- Oh, so you're estranged?

- We're English.

- Right,

I get it.

Families can be a real pain in the ass,

mine drive me batshit crazy,

but I haven't spoken to them in a couple of days

and it's killing me.

- Why don't you call them? - Oh, I ditched my phone.

- [Barnaby] Why?

- I'm not getting butt-fucked by AT&T.

- You can borrow mine.

- Really?

- Yeah, call them.

I can man the lookout.

- Thanks.

(sighing)

- [DI Suleiman] Have you ever seen this man?

(birds twittering)

- Sorry, to be honest I did some pretty moody K

in my late 20s and now I'm basically face blind.

(hushed chattering)

- Miss Walker.

- Mate, my Dad's in a bridge club,

a guy came in here wearing a hoodie once,

he was so scared he locked himself in a French armoire,

he's not dealing with blokes like this.

- Ma'am, you've got to take a look at this.

- That thug was parked illegally for two hours.

- Run the plates.

(phone ringing)

- Ma, it's Nina. - Oh, my God!

(speaking in Spanish)

- Nina, something happened to Foster,

Pancho went to his office, there was blood everywhere,

- What? - and a man came to the diner,

he was looking for you and I--

- Why is this schmuck looking for you?

- Can you just stay calm?

- [Maria] We are staying calm!

- Sorry, the boiler in the apartment burst.

Look, I need you guys to pack a bag

and get out of there, everyone.

- Where are we gonna go?

We ain't got no money.

- He's leaving. (light suspenseful music)

- [Nina] Oh, shit.

Sofia, I gotta go. - Everything okay?

- What?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just stay in the car, I'm going up.

- Shouldn't I?

- Stay in the car.

(background chattering)

(heavy breathing)

(door unlocking)

(car horn tooting)

(heavy breathing)

- Have you got the money? - Yeah.

It's all there.

(melodic haunting music)

It was all there, I swear to God!

- Find it.

(light suspenseful music)

(knocking on door)

- Mr. Smith, it's the police.

Can you open up, please?

- No, no, this isn't what it looks like!

- Mr. Smith. (knocking on door)

- Help, help me, help me! - Mr. Smith?

(muffled shouting)

- We can hear you in there, Mr. Smith.

(muffled shouting)

- Get hold of him. - Open the door!

(muffled screaming)

This is your last chance!

- [Mr. Smith] Help, help, help me, please!

(muffled shouting)

(thudding blow) Uh!

(gasping)

(light suspenseful music)

(heavy breathing)

(door thudding)

- [DI Suleiman] Come on!

(suspenseful upbeat music)

- [Nina] We've gotta go, Barnaby.

(heavy breathing)

- Is he? - Yeah.

- Oh. - No, no, no, no,

we can't touch, can't leave any traces.

Are you okay?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, good.

- Argh! - Oh, my God, Jesus!

Come on, come on, move, go, go!

(door opening)

- So did you find Smith?

- Oh, hm-mm, he's currently lying dead

in a pool of your brother's DNA.

- Oh, Jesus, what did you?

Oh, sick, sorry, when you said DNA,

I thought that you meant.

- What, why would I?

- Adrenaline?

What about the money?

- I searched everywhere, sorry.

- That's good though, isn't it?

I mean, if they've got the money,

then they're not gonna be looking for us.

- They didn't see us, so whoever it is,

they're running scared, okay.

- Okay. - I'm gonna go wash up.

(groaning)

- B, it's okay,

we've lost the money, but we've still got the statue

and the good news is I know a man down the pub,

he's a bit of a wheeler dealer,

he's called Black Barry, he's a--

- No, we're going to the police.

- Yeah, I think that option's off the table.

- Why?

- Because you barfed on a dead man.

Sorry, Chundercat.

Sorry.

- Suleiman?

(police radio broadcasting quietly)

Evans?

Homicide are here, they'll take over.

- But sir, this is my case.

- We're out on antiquities,

dead bodies bit above our pay grade, don't you think?

(clearing throat)

(mellow melodic music)

Poor fella, what a way to go, eh?

Killed with a Bag For Life.

(mellow melodic music)

(groaning with effort)

- [Barnaby] I don't think I can do this.

- We've got to cover our tracks, kid.

Push, Barnaby, push!

(loud splashing)

(light melodic music)

Why are there chocolates on your pillow?

- Oh, that's my mother,

I think she's excited about,

you know, us.

- There is no us.

- Yes, obviously I know that.

Thank you for helping us.

Sorry that we can't pay you.

- Don't worry about it, we'll think of something.

Not that.

- Good,

not good,

I didn't mean, I'm sure I could learn a thing or two

from a seasoned,

not professional.

I.

- Goodnight, Barnaby.

- Goodnight.

- Well, well, well,

did your Mommy leave these too?

(groaning with embarrassment)

(birds twittering)

(snoring)

(pulling curtains open)

- [Barnaby] Oh.

- Oh, dear, did you and Nina have a fight?

You seemed to be getting on so well last night.

Oh,

you know, darling,

when a relationship becomes physical,

it's important to discuss boundaries,

you drive,

you know how annoyed you get,

when someone changes lanes without indicating.

(groaning with embarrassment)

(sighing)

Fine.

Penelope called,

she still hasn't got the trestle table.

("Papa Was A Rollin' Stone" by The Temptations)

(sighing)

(door closing)

- Hi, I think my father has a storage unit here.

♪ It was the third of September ♪

♪ That day I'll always remember ♪

♪ Yes, I will ♪

♪ 'Cause that was the day that my Daddy died ♪

♪ I never got a chance to see him ♪

♪ Never heard nothin' but bad things about him ♪

♪ Mama, I'm depending on you ♪

♪ To tell me the truth ♪

♪ Mama just hung her head and said, son ♪

♪ Papa was a rollin' stone ♪

♪ Wherever he laid his hat was his home ♪

♪ And when he died, all he left us was alone ♪

♪ Papa was a rollin' stone, my son, yeah ♪

♪ Wherever he laid his hat was his home ♪

♪ And when he died, all he left us was alone ♪

(melodic upbeat music)