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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
2
00:00:15,025 --> 00:00:16,652
Thank you.
3
00:00:18,762 --> 00:00:20,765
Jesus.
4
00:00:25,896 --> 00:00:27,652
What's good, Shannon?
5
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,588
Oh, Sam. Hey, hey.
6
00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:32,009
- Hey.
- Did you got my message?
7
00:00:32,051 --> 00:00:34,011
So, so sorry about this.
8
00:00:34,053 --> 00:00:37,014
What? Something else wrong with the van?
9
00:00:37,056 --> 00:00:39,749
Yeah, so, um, we're still
looking into things,
10
00:00:39,791 --> 00:00:42,286
but it seems like
someone made off pretty clean
11
00:00:42,328 --> 00:00:44,063
with a couple vehicles last night.
12
00:00:45,098 --> 00:00:46,322
It was stolen?
13
00:00:46,364 --> 00:00:47,758
Yeah. But don't worry.
14
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,559
You're completely covered
by our insurance.
15
00:00:49,601 --> 00:00:51,895
And I-I know you got that
tracker LoJack thing in there,
16
00:00:51,937 --> 00:00:53,464
so... might turn up.
17
00:00:53,506 --> 00:00:56,032
No, no. That's okay.
18
00:00:56,074 --> 00:00:57,934
It's probably totally gone forever.
19
00:00:57,976 --> 00:01:00,338
C-Can you sign this, though,
for the insurance?
20
00:01:00,380 --> 00:01:02,372
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
21
00:01:02,414 --> 00:01:03,973
- Sorry, Sam.
- Yeah.
22
00:01:04,015 --> 00:01:06,142
We did fix that vibrating
in the steering wheel,
23
00:01:06,184 --> 00:01:08,044
- so, you know, if it does turn up...
- Mm.
24
00:01:08,086 --> 00:01:10,113
Not cool, Shannon.
25
00:01:10,155 --> 00:01:13,583
- Yeah, not... not cool.
- Sorry, Sam.
26
00:01:13,625 --> 00:01:15,419
Not cool. Yes!
27
00:01:15,461 --> 00:01:20,423
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
28
00:01:20,465 --> 00:01:22,460
I was fine, you know?
29
00:01:22,502 --> 00:01:25,295
And then he comes over
to tuck the kids in.
30
00:01:25,337 --> 00:01:27,598
And just having him back in the house...
31
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,333
I practically begged him to stay.
32
00:01:29,375 --> 00:01:31,469
- Mm.
- I am such a loser.
33
00:01:31,511 --> 00:01:33,503
Uh, uh, uh. Don't say that.
34
00:01:33,545 --> 00:01:35,538
Ooh.
35
00:01:35,580 --> 00:01:37,341
Um, honey?
36
00:01:37,383 --> 00:01:40,034
I am. I'm one of those people now.
37
00:01:40,076 --> 00:01:42,946
- I'm my mama.
- No, you're not.
38
00:01:42,988 --> 00:01:45,014
Is that a diaper bag?
39
00:01:45,056 --> 00:01:47,172
It's like I just keep punching myself
40
00:01:47,214 --> 00:01:50,005
in the face right in front of him.
Like, "Ain't I cute?
41
00:01:50,047 --> 00:01:51,640
Don't you want all this mess?"
42
00:01:51,682 --> 00:01:53,986
And then he comes home for 15 minutes
43
00:01:54,028 --> 00:01:55,992
at the end of the day
to tuck the kids in,
44
00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:59,205
and it's Captain Daddy Bedtime Champion.
45
00:01:59,247 --> 00:02:00,672
He can't do that.
46
00:02:00,714 --> 00:02:02,574
Oh, uh, you know what, though?
47
00:02:02,616 --> 00:02:03,833
He actually can.
48
00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:05,635
Because you don't have a mediator
49
00:02:05,677 --> 00:02:09,506
or a schedule or an attorney,
so he can do whatever he wants.
50
00:02:09,548 --> 00:02:11,641
You have no boundaries for him.
51
00:02:11,683 --> 00:02:14,402
Sorry, broken record,
but I will continue
52
00:02:14,444 --> 00:02:17,981
to be a broken record
until you get professional help.
53
00:02:18,023 --> 00:02:20,151
I'm sorry. I know that you're right.
54
00:02:20,193 --> 00:02:23,386
I know you're right. It's just
this waiting that's killing me.
55
00:02:23,428 --> 00:02:25,189
Waiting for?
56
00:02:25,231 --> 00:02:28,769
I just want things to go back to normal.
57
00:02:28,811 --> 00:02:29,823
Oh!
58
00:02:32,004 --> 00:02:33,931
Ooh!
59
00:02:33,973 --> 00:02:35,231
These are g... This isn't gonna hold.
60
00:02:35,273 --> 00:02:37,901
- No, no, no.
- I need a backup.
61
00:02:39,010 --> 00:02:41,838
That's so nasty. I'm not...
62
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,382
Everybody should have diapers
in the car.
63
00:02:44,424 --> 00:02:46,268
- Girl, that's not...
- Whether you have kids or not.
64
00:02:46,310 --> 00:02:48,178
- That's so nasty. I'm not...
- It may look weird, but...
65
00:02:48,220 --> 00:02:51,481
Oh. Ooh!
66
00:02:51,523 --> 00:02:52,916
Okay.
67
00:02:52,958 --> 00:02:55,888
Ready to go. Here comes gym.
68
00:02:55,930 --> 00:02:57,787
That's some white people shit.
69
00:03:04,321 --> 00:03:05,396
Oh, buddy.
70
00:03:06,031 --> 00:03:08,231
Guess why I'm smiling right now.
71
00:03:08,643 --> 00:03:10,088
Because I'm ridiculous?
72
00:03:10,130 --> 00:03:11,434
No.
73
00:03:11,476 --> 00:03:14,704
Because I see what's
on the other side for you.
74
00:03:15,522 --> 00:03:18,208
In this case,
the journey is not the reward.
75
00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:20,577
The reward is being on the other side
76
00:03:20,619 --> 00:03:22,679
and being free of this pain
77
00:03:22,721 --> 00:03:25,382
and knowing that he did you a favor.
78
00:03:26,241 --> 00:03:29,420
You could have used less
of a blindside, but...
79
00:03:29,462 --> 00:03:31,654
garbage into gold.
80
00:03:31,696 --> 00:03:33,165
Let's go.
81
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,659
Oh, hi.
82
00:03:36,184 --> 00:03:38,191
Do you want to know why she's crying?
83
00:03:38,233 --> 00:03:40,630
Is that why you're looking?
84
00:03:40,672 --> 00:03:42,933
Well, she's 49.
85
00:03:42,975 --> 00:03:45,135
Her husband just left her.
86
00:03:45,177 --> 00:03:48,071
She's got macular degeneration.
87
00:03:48,113 --> 00:03:51,035
She's got a six-year-old
and a semi-new baby.
88
00:03:51,077 --> 00:03:52,276
Oh, no.
89
00:03:52,318 --> 00:03:54,654
And, uh, she's gonna be 50.
90
00:03:54,696 --> 00:03:55,976
So...
91
00:03:57,022 --> 00:03:59,749
She's 50!
92
00:04:05,485 --> 00:04:07,752
I never did that when I was pregnant,
93
00:04:07,794 --> 00:04:09,046
and I have three.
94
00:04:09,088 --> 00:04:10,326
Hmm.
95
00:04:10,368 --> 00:04:12,629
And now I wish I had done more sit-ups.
96
00:04:12,671 --> 00:04:14,965
This is my fifth.
97
00:04:39,164 --> 00:04:41,313
I said, "I'm not doing this for you.
98
00:04:41,355 --> 00:04:43,796
I'm doing this for the man
that I'm leaving you for."
99
00:04:44,904 --> 00:04:46,396
Amen.
100
00:04:46,438 --> 00:04:48,296
I mean "A-women."
101
00:04:48,338 --> 00:04:50,739
Oh. He knows I love his fat ass.
102
00:04:50,781 --> 00:04:52,019
I just don't love mine.
103
00:04:52,061 --> 00:04:54,507
Sam? Sam!
104
00:04:54,549 --> 00:04:57,822
I love seeing you here.
It's Toussaint, President's mom.
105
00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:00,009
We worked on the bake sale
together all those years.
106
00:05:00,051 --> 00:05:01,679
And I made those super
strawberry scones, and you were
107
00:05:01,721 --> 00:05:03,314
like, "These are the best things
I've ever had."
108
00:05:03,356 --> 00:05:04,648
- Yup.
- It's so good to see you.
109
00:05:04,690 --> 00:05:07,451
- I didn't know you go here.
- Yeah. I go here.
110
00:05:07,493 --> 00:05:10,049
President told me
that Frankie skipped a grade.
111
00:05:10,091 --> 00:05:11,355
How did you pull that one off?
112
00:05:11,397 --> 00:05:13,824
I bet you had to really do
some backflips for that one.
113
00:05:13,866 --> 00:05:16,203
And boy, oh, boy, that is...
I don't want to scare you,
114
00:05:16,245 --> 00:05:18,862
but that is social suicide
to the max element degree.
115
00:05:18,904 --> 00:05:20,473
I mean, don't freak out...
It's not like she has to go
116
00:05:20,515 --> 00:05:22,432
to the hospital or anything...
But you skip someone ahead,
117
00:05:22,474 --> 00:05:24,105
- and they could...
- Who knows?
118
00:05:24,147 --> 00:05:27,253
How do I get my kids to give
a two clown shit about school?
119
00:05:27,295 --> 00:05:29,340
What's your magic?
I mean, all my kids want to do
120
00:05:29,382 --> 00:05:30,908
is eat toast and masturbate.
121
00:05:30,950 --> 00:05:32,369
I can't believe what you do.
122
00:05:32,411 --> 00:05:34,244
You're like an adolescent
freak whisperer.
123
00:05:34,286 --> 00:05:36,690
You come to my house,
I'll make you spaghetti.
124
00:05:36,732 --> 00:05:39,216
- I'll do anything you want.
- I fucking love you, Sam Fox.
125
00:05:39,258 --> 00:05:41,785
And you're popular.
But you've got roots.
126
00:05:41,827 --> 00:05:44,220
Jessica. We worked together
on The Prowler.
127
00:05:44,262 --> 00:05:47,557
Yes. I'm sorry. Baby Jess.
128
00:05:47,599 --> 00:05:49,627
- You were the...
- Demon hell child.
129
00:05:49,669 --> 00:05:52,657
How many times did they make you
do that vomit sunflower?
130
00:05:52,699 --> 00:05:53,797
No, no, don't.
131
00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:56,100
Because I still can't go
anywhere near clam chowder.
132
00:05:56,142 --> 00:05:57,439
- Right?
- How are you?
133
00:05:57,481 --> 00:05:59,163
I heard you just signed with Mal.
134
00:05:59,205 --> 00:06:00,537
Oh.
135
00:06:00,579 --> 00:06:02,156
And the thing about you is,
136
00:06:02,198 --> 00:06:04,540
you are so brave in your work.
137
00:06:04,582 --> 00:06:07,077
And I love that you have real thighs
138
00:06:07,119 --> 00:06:08,639
and you aren't afraid to show them.
139
00:06:09,231 --> 00:06:12,348
My wife is gonna die. She loves you.
140
00:06:12,390 --> 00:06:14,341
- Huh.
- This is really gonna work.
141
00:06:14,383 --> 00:06:15,834
He is the best.
142
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,882
He just got me a three-show deal
at Yougooglelu.
143
00:06:17,924 --> 00:06:18,931
Oh, shit.
144
00:06:18,973 --> 00:06:20,924
I was eavesdropping
before on the machines.
145
00:06:20,966 --> 00:06:23,494
You are effing hilarious.
146
00:06:23,536 --> 00:06:26,596
Oh, well, her pain is pretty funny.
147
00:06:27,350 --> 00:06:29,064
Men are shit.
148
00:06:29,106 --> 00:06:30,556
I want to do something with you.
149
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:32,003
I've got some ideas. I'm gonna call Mal.
150
00:06:32,045 --> 00:06:33,416
Are you in town for a while?
151
00:06:33,458 --> 00:06:35,381
Um, sure. Yeah.
152
00:06:39,818 --> 00:06:43,213
So, here is the best part.
153
00:06:43,645 --> 00:06:45,348
We get to go home now.
154
00:06:45,390 --> 00:06:48,052
Longest time ever before more gym.
155
00:06:48,094 --> 00:06:49,353
I'm proud of you.
156
00:06:49,395 --> 00:06:50,788
It does feel pretty good.
157
00:06:50,830 --> 00:06:52,155
Yes!
158
00:06:52,197 --> 00:06:55,115
The endorphins live!
159
00:06:56,326 --> 00:06:57,702
Now we drink.
160
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,642
Just me.
161
00:07:04,684 --> 00:07:05,909
- Hi.
- Hi.
162
00:07:05,951 --> 00:07:07,445
U-Untether me, please.
163
00:07:07,487 --> 00:07:08,745
Why? Are you showering?
164
00:07:08,787 --> 00:07:11,382
I don't track
your grooming habits, do I?
165
00:07:11,424 --> 00:07:13,051
Well, you're not supposed to take it off
166
00:07:13,093 --> 00:07:14,819
- unless you're showering.
- Ugh.
167
00:07:15,820 --> 00:07:18,188
Please.
168
00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:23,560
- Okay. Mm-hmm, well...
- And the straps.
169
00:07:24,304 --> 00:07:27,374
Hey, Mom, I need you
to sign this for me for school.
170
00:07:28,061 --> 00:07:29,132
Nice tits, Gran.
171
00:07:29,174 --> 00:07:30,334
Thank you, dear.
172
00:07:30,376 --> 00:07:32,202
Is that a new stained glass?
173
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:33,904
It's pretty.
174
00:07:33,946 --> 00:07:35,772
No, it's been there for 20 years, Phil.
175
00:07:35,814 --> 00:07:37,027
- Bye.
- Bye.
176
00:07:38,751 --> 00:07:39,844
Okay.
177
00:07:40,637 --> 00:07:42,380
Uh...
178
00:07:42,422 --> 00:07:45,382
- Okay, what is it... for?
- Thank you.
179
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,018
What did I sign?
180
00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:01,431
- Hello.
- Not your manager,
181
00:08:01,473 --> 00:08:05,003
but I have very crazy
professional news for you.
182
00:08:05,045 --> 00:08:07,624
Tasco's rebooting Ching of the Mill.
183
00:08:07,666 --> 00:08:09,906
- What?!
- Donnie wants to meet with you
184
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,354
out in Simi Valley tomorrow.
185
00:08:11,396 --> 00:08:13,187
I will send you all the details.
186
00:08:13,229 --> 00:08:14,745
Oh, my God.
187
00:08:14,787 --> 00:08:17,081
It's gonna be huge.
Everyone wants in on this show.
188
00:08:17,123 --> 00:08:19,465
So I personally suggest you do it.
189
00:08:19,507 --> 00:08:22,720
This is so good!
Maybe I can fix my roof.
190
00:08:22,762 --> 00:08:24,889
I'm almost poor.
Did I tell you I'm poor now?
191
00:08:24,931 --> 00:08:26,718
Sorry to hear that.
Regardless, I'm taking 15%
192
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:27,824
if this thing is a go.
193
00:08:27,866 --> 00:08:29,260
Also, I'm not your manager.
194
00:08:29,302 --> 00:08:31,194
Also, I will see you Saturday
with the kids.
195
00:08:31,236 --> 00:08:33,463
- Love you! See you Saturday.
- Love you.
196
00:08:33,505 --> 00:08:34,798
Oh!
197
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,769
Yes! Yes!
198
00:09:09,776 --> 00:09:12,803
We must cover the ribs
199
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:15,505
so as not to burn them.
200
00:09:36,369 --> 00:09:38,696
Hi. Hi.
201
00:09:38,738 --> 00:09:41,098
Do you have a lady dealer available?
202
00:09:41,140 --> 00:09:42,734
I'm sorry, all of our sales associates
203
00:09:42,776 --> 00:09:44,202
are busy at the moment.
204
00:09:44,244 --> 00:09:46,037
Did you make an appointment online?
205
00:09:46,572 --> 00:09:50,610
Oh, I didn't know that...
206
00:09:50,652 --> 00:09:53,644
Uh, I thought this was just,
like, a car dealership
207
00:09:53,686 --> 00:09:55,880
and you could walk in and look at a car.
208
00:09:55,922 --> 00:09:57,215
We don't take walk-ins.
209
00:09:58,925 --> 00:10:01,418
- Hey. Sorry I'm late.
- I told you.
210
00:10:01,460 --> 00:10:02,953
Nobody will help me.
211
00:10:02,995 --> 00:10:05,188
Are you looking
for a new car experience today?
212
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,524
I think it's my wife here
213
00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:09,126
that needs your help. Come here, Pooh.
214
00:10:09,168 --> 00:10:10,227
Oh.
215
00:10:10,269 --> 00:10:11,428
She's such a different person
216
00:10:11,470 --> 00:10:13,063
since she went
through the change last year.
217
00:10:14,056 --> 00:10:15,066
Do you need your fan?
218
00:10:16,709 --> 00:10:18,401
Do you need some water?
219
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:22,840
So, what's the story?
220
00:10:22,882 --> 00:10:24,241
You want to look at the Pacifica?
221
00:10:24,283 --> 00:10:26,177
I'm not getting another van.
222
00:10:26,219 --> 00:10:27,845
But you have a lot of people.
223
00:10:27,887 --> 00:10:29,679
I really don't. Max drives herself,
224
00:10:29,721 --> 00:10:31,249
and I'm usually alone now.
225
00:10:31,883 --> 00:10:33,260
You're never alone.
226
00:10:34,627 --> 00:10:36,486
So that's it? I'm just neutered.
227
00:10:36,528 --> 00:10:39,256
I used to drive an
eight-cylinder '88 Fox-body
228
00:10:39,298 --> 00:10:41,880
which was absorbed into the dealership
229
00:10:41,922 --> 00:10:44,428
when I traded it in for the mommy van.
230
00:10:44,470 --> 00:10:45,610
You're a mommy.
231
00:10:46,306 --> 00:10:47,999
I want something cool.
232
00:10:48,041 --> 00:10:49,720
Why do you get to drive this truck?
233
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,779
- You have kids.
- You have kids.
234
00:10:53,812 --> 00:10:55,072
It's different for guys.
235
00:10:55,114 --> 00:10:56,332
I know.
236
00:11:03,223 --> 00:11:04,782
Jesus.
237
00:11:04,824 --> 00:11:07,552
Look how fucking low I am.
238
00:11:07,594 --> 00:11:09,587
I need, like, ten pillows.
239
00:11:09,629 --> 00:11:11,588
I feel like I'm driving my dad's car.
240
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:14,292
Do you have anything with
a stick? Like, anything fun?
241
00:11:14,334 --> 00:11:16,059
Pretty much everything's
automatic these days.
242
00:11:16,101 --> 00:11:17,329
- Mm...
- Can you even drive a stick?
243
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,431
What are you talking about?
Zombie escape plan.
244
00:11:20,473 --> 00:11:23,800
I tell all the girls that they
have to learn to drive a stick.
245
00:11:23,842 --> 00:11:26,069
Because in the apocalypse,
there's gonna be
246
00:11:26,111 --> 00:11:30,040
one lone prospector
with a gas pump, a slash of rope
247
00:11:30,082 --> 00:11:33,977
and a landline, and he's gonna
fix the end of the world.
248
00:11:34,019 --> 00:11:36,047
- She actually tells them this.
- Sounds like a good plan.
249
00:11:36,089 --> 00:11:39,116
Just maybe I should do
250
00:11:39,158 --> 00:11:42,352
the responsibly thing
and get an electric job.
251
00:11:42,394 --> 00:11:44,419
Oh, we got the i3 over here.
252
00:11:44,998 --> 00:11:46,490
Whoa.
253
00:11:46,532 --> 00:11:48,425
That car is ugly as shit.
254
00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:50,660
Some people really like it.
It's good for the environment.
255
00:11:50,702 --> 00:11:52,864
You should take it for
a couple days and try it out.
256
00:11:52,906 --> 00:11:54,298
I don't have a charger thingy.
257
00:11:54,340 --> 00:11:56,167
Just go to the mall or any parking lot.
258
00:11:56,209 --> 00:11:57,467
They've got them everywhere.
259
00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:00,404
"Almost Nude Maids"? What the hell?
260
00:12:00,446 --> 00:12:02,441
That's how I met my wife.
261
00:12:03,816 --> 00:12:06,711
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
262
00:12:06,753 --> 00:12:08,279
Hey, hey.
263
00:12:08,321 --> 00:12:10,146
Oh. Hey, Brad.
264
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:12,048
Hey, Sam. What happened to the minivan?
265
00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:14,027
Oh, this is a loaner.
266
00:12:18,096 --> 00:12:21,324
So, you know, we really like your mom.
267
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,627
- Oh, God.
- But she's been swimming
268
00:12:23,669 --> 00:12:25,029
in our pool.
269
00:12:25,071 --> 00:12:26,797
A-Actually, that's not even the issue.
270
00:12:26,839 --> 00:12:29,100
I mean, we don't mind
if she wants to swim, but...
271
00:12:29,142 --> 00:12:30,551
if she could just...
272
00:12:31,911 --> 00:12:33,603
cover herself up?
273
00:12:33,645 --> 00:12:35,972
It's just, we got young boys,
and, well, y-your mother
274
00:12:36,014 --> 00:12:40,877
doesn't exactly have
the body of a woman her age.
275
00:12:40,919 --> 00:12:43,547
God. Brad, I'm so sorry.
276
00:12:43,589 --> 00:12:47,485
We-we really don't want to make
this into a thing, you know?
277
00:12:47,527 --> 00:12:50,020
Actually, you know,
we're thrilled that she dropped
278
00:12:50,062 --> 00:12:51,688
the lawsuit against our dogs.
279
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:54,792
If she could wear
a swimsuit or something,
280
00:12:54,834 --> 00:12:57,193
- we'd be really grateful.
- Yeah.
281
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,696
- No. I know.
- Say anything, just...
282
00:12:58,738 --> 00:13:00,898
- Can you...? Bye.
- Oh. Oh.
283
00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:02,232
Sorry.
284
00:13:02,274 --> 00:13:04,302
- Say hi to your wife.
- Okay.
285
00:13:04,344 --> 00:13:07,130
- Laura? Laura, I think.
- Lisa. It's Lisa.
286
00:13:10,686 --> 00:13:13,581
♪ Paradise, feeling's nice ♪
287
00:13:13,623 --> 00:13:15,683
♪ When you turn out the lights ♪
288
00:13:17,058 --> 00:13:18,452
♪ La, la, la... ♪
289
00:13:18,494 --> 00:13:20,420
Okay, what's the point?
290
00:13:20,462 --> 00:13:23,256
So good to see you.
My God, how cool is this?
291
00:13:23,298 --> 00:13:25,326
- Huh?
- Oh, my God, it's amazing.
292
00:13:25,368 --> 00:13:27,761
- How are the girls doing?
- They're great, they're great.
293
00:13:27,803 --> 00:13:30,030
I mean, they're all older
than me now, but...
294
00:13:30,072 --> 00:13:33,333
Well, yeah. I mean, uh, Milo
just graduated from Cal Poly.
295
00:13:33,375 --> 00:13:35,236
- Jack's studying to be a vet.
- Wow.
296
00:13:35,278 --> 00:13:37,170
- I know.
- I hear it's harder to be a vet
297
00:13:37,212 --> 00:13:38,723
- than to be a human-people doctor.
- That's true.
298
00:13:38,765 --> 00:13:41,225
That's ac... Yeah, 'cause you
got to master all the, uh,
299
00:13:41,267 --> 00:13:44,295
all the, uh, you know,
additional, uh, anatomies...
300
00:13:44,337 --> 00:13:47,097
- ...and stuff like that.
- Oh, my God. This is so great.
301
00:13:47,139 --> 00:13:48,145
- I can't believe...
- Yeah, so listen, uh,
302
00:13:48,187 --> 00:13:49,200
thanks for doing this.
303
00:13:49,242 --> 00:13:50,835
- I know it's just like...
- When do we start?
304
00:13:50,877 --> 00:13:52,467
...it's crazy awkward, and...
305
00:13:57,355 --> 00:13:59,343
Oh, God. Your manager didn't
306
00:13:59,385 --> 00:14:01,713
explain the, uh, the situation.
307
00:14:01,755 --> 00:14:03,714
- Oh, shit.
- Well, what?
308
00:14:03,756 --> 00:14:05,550
I'm kind of in between
managers right now.
309
00:14:05,592 --> 00:14:07,218
What-what situation?
310
00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:09,753
It's just a formality, okay?
311
00:14:09,795 --> 00:14:13,757
But, uh, we need you
to read for the part.
312
00:14:13,799 --> 00:14:15,026
Oh, that's fine.
313
00:14:15,068 --> 00:14:17,395
- Which part?
- Uh, Rooster.
314
00:14:17,437 --> 00:14:19,731
Look, w-we don't know,
we don't know if we're gonna,
315
00:14:19,773 --> 00:14:21,433
uh, age him up, age him down
316
00:14:21,475 --> 00:14:23,367
or do something completely,
you know, different.
317
00:14:23,409 --> 00:14:24,869
- Oh...
- Listen, listen, listen.
318
00:14:24,911 --> 00:14:26,570
- I know what you can do. Okay?
- Mm-hmm.
319
00:14:26,612 --> 00:14:28,772
I mean, you know that. It's not me.
320
00:14:28,814 --> 00:14:32,511
It's just these new...
exquisite corpse corps.
321
00:14:33,302 --> 00:14:36,547
Yeah. They want me to read for my part?
322
00:14:36,589 --> 00:14:38,650
The part that I did for ten years.
323
00:14:38,692 --> 00:14:41,585
The part I won
a Genie Golden Halo Award for?
324
00:14:41,627 --> 00:14:43,155
And well-deserved.
325
00:14:43,197 --> 00:14:45,633
I mean, I mean, well-deserved, right?
326
00:14:48,548 --> 00:14:50,027
There she is.
327
00:14:50,069 --> 00:14:51,630
- Hey.
- Hey.
328
00:14:52,056 --> 00:14:53,998
- What's up?
- How are you?
329
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,800
- How are the girls?
- Good. They're great. They're great.
330
00:14:56,842 --> 00:14:59,470
- How are your girls?
- Uh, the girls are great. Yeah.
331
00:14:59,512 --> 00:15:01,940
And then I got-got
other kids, too. They're good.
332
00:15:01,982 --> 00:15:04,809
- Oh. You do?
- Um, yeah. Long story short,
333
00:15:04,851 --> 00:15:09,446
I-I had a vasectomy and...
didn't work, and so basically,
334
00:15:09,488 --> 00:15:12,516
I've got six kids... They're all 13.
335
00:15:12,558 --> 00:15:15,152
- Ah.
- Not sextuplets.
336
00:15:15,194 --> 00:15:17,856
- 13, yeah. Um...
- Wow. Yeah.
337
00:15:17,898 --> 00:15:20,671
And that's why we're doing the reboot.
338
00:15:20,713 --> 00:15:24,051
Yeah, you got to get
that orthodontia money.
339
00:15:24,093 --> 00:15:26,480
- Yeah. But, uh, hey.
- Okay, well...
340
00:15:26,522 --> 00:15:27,832
Kill the people, Sammy.
341
00:15:27,874 --> 00:15:29,133
- Cool. Yeah.
- You're gonna crush it.
342
00:15:29,175 --> 00:15:31,636
- Amazing. Okay.
- Come on. All righty.
343
00:15:31,678 --> 00:15:32,688
Good luck. Or...
344
00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:33,971
- You don't need it. We'll see you.
- Thanks.
345
00:15:34,013 --> 00:15:35,507
- Thanks, boss.
- All righty. - Close... Mike.
346
00:15:35,549 --> 00:15:37,275
- Close the fucking door, dude. Come on.
- Oh, yeah.
347
00:15:37,317 --> 00:15:39,285
This is just a formality, all right?
Everyone is doing it.
348
00:15:39,327 --> 00:15:40,605
- Okay. Yeah.
- Okay? You know?
349
00:15:40,647 --> 00:15:42,680
I mean, Maddie, Brittany,
Carlos, Henry...
350
00:15:42,722 --> 00:15:44,832
- Oh, they all...?
- Yeah.
351
00:15:44,874 --> 00:15:47,185
- That makes me feel better.
- Yeah.
352
00:15:47,227 --> 00:15:49,087
And you're, you know,
you're Rooster, for God's sakes.
353
00:15:49,129 --> 00:15:51,690
- Just give me a little, would you?
- Okay.
354
00:15:51,732 --> 00:15:53,491
Poop-poop, pop, purple,
355
00:15:53,533 --> 00:15:55,651
- people, pretzel.
- Good.
356
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:57,342
- Pencil.
- Good. All right, listen,
357
00:15:57,384 --> 00:15:58,758
I'm gonna turn my back on you.
358
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:01,276
All right? So, I know you know
that doesn't mean I'm being rude
359
00:16:01,318 --> 00:16:03,054
- or anything, okay? Right?
- Oh, no.
360
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,868
You did this at
my original audition, and...
361
00:16:04,910 --> 00:16:07,005
- All right. All right.
- Ain't no... Okay.
362
00:16:07,047 --> 00:16:08,514
Okay, so,
363
00:16:08,556 --> 00:16:11,016
- whenever you're ready. Action.
- Okay.
364
00:16:11,058 --> 00:16:13,344
A bee stung my head.
365
00:16:13,386 --> 00:16:15,412
Okay, good. Uh, just try,
366
00:16:15,454 --> 00:16:17,535
just try pitching it up
a little bit, Sam.
367
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,184
Okay, sure.
368
00:16:19,226 --> 00:16:22,658
A bee stung my head.
369
00:16:23,534 --> 00:16:26,958
Teacher said my toaster
was pandiculated.
370
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,926
Santa can't bring me an uninfect...
371
00:16:28,968 --> 00:16:30,594
All right, fine. Good, stop.
372
00:16:30,636 --> 00:16:32,363
Jesus, God.
373
00:16:32,405 --> 00:16:34,366
God, you're brilliant. You are.
374
00:16:34,408 --> 00:16:37,175
I mean, you were always
so good off the page. Right?
375
00:16:37,217 --> 00:16:39,396
- Yeah.
- I'm serious. Huh?
376
00:16:39,438 --> 00:16:41,205
- Thanks.
- You gonna be in town for a while?
377
00:16:41,247 --> 00:16:42,638
Yeah, sure, I'm in town.
378
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,008
- Where am I going?
- Yeah, right?
379
00:16:44,050 --> 00:16:46,210
- Yeah.
- Hey, hey.
380
00:16:46,252 --> 00:16:48,545
Hey. Wait.
381
00:16:48,587 --> 00:16:49,948
It's Curly. You remember,
you remember Curly.
382
00:16:49,990 --> 00:16:52,182
- Yes! Yes.
- Yeah.
383
00:16:52,224 --> 00:16:54,318
You're the P.A.
who would stock the green room
384
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,920
with all our favorite snacks.
385
00:16:55,962 --> 00:16:58,802
Slim Jims and wasabi peanuts.
386
00:16:58,844 --> 00:17:00,937
- Still my favorite.
- Amazing.
387
00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:03,460
I want to get some for the road,
if you don't mind.
388
00:17:03,502 --> 00:17:06,698
Oh, uh, I'm-I'm actually
not a P.A. anymore.
389
00:17:06,740 --> 00:17:09,296
I'm one of the executive producers now.
390
00:17:09,338 --> 00:17:13,123
- I-I'm happy to-to get you some Slim...
- Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
391
00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:15,225
- You said Slim Jims?
- No, no, no, no, no. You know what?
392
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:17,494
There's a 7-Eleven
down the street anyway.
393
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:18,929
- Congratula... That's great.
- Yeah... Thank you.
394
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,396
- Okay. Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.
395
00:17:20,438 --> 00:17:22,332
- I love you. I adore you.
- Love, yes.
396
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:23,566
So, I'm gonna see you soon, eh?
397
00:17:23,608 --> 00:17:25,885
Gee, I hope I get my own part.
398
00:17:25,927 --> 00:17:27,185
Peace.
399
00:17:27,227 --> 00:17:29,327
How'd it go?
400
00:17:29,714 --> 00:17:31,607
Awkward as fuck.
401
00:17:35,042 --> 00:17:38,959
♪ I'll be a sky so full of empty now ♪
402
00:17:39,001 --> 00:17:42,986
♪ That little falcons dive into, lover ♪
403
00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:47,489
♪ So when I'm restless
they can lead somehow ♪
404
00:17:47,531 --> 00:17:51,928
♪ What in the world
I'm gonna do out here ♪
405
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:55,632
♪ I feel that I'm a little lost
most of the time ♪
406
00:17:55,674 --> 00:17:58,610
♪ But I don't really mind. ♪
407
00:18:01,017 --> 00:18:02,423
Serious?
408
00:18:39,050 --> 00:18:41,386
Yes.
409
00:18:43,555 --> 00:18:44,713
Oh.
410
00:18:44,755 --> 00:18:47,325
Hi.
411
00:18:48,793 --> 00:18:50,319
Need something?
412
00:18:50,361 --> 00:18:51,587
Uh, yeah.
413
00:18:51,629 --> 00:18:53,590
Can you help me?
414
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:54,961
Depends how you mean it.
415
00:18:55,599 --> 00:18:57,380
That your golf cart?
416
00:18:59,137 --> 00:19:00,896
Uh, ha! Yeah.
417
00:19:00,938 --> 00:19:02,731
I need a tow truck.
418
00:19:02,773 --> 00:19:04,500
Or an extension cord.
419
00:19:04,542 --> 00:19:07,069
And my cell phone's being stupid, so...
420
00:19:07,111 --> 00:19:08,837
There's not very good reception
around here
421
00:19:08,879 --> 00:19:10,340
at the end of the world.
422
00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:12,985
Mm.
423
00:19:18,386 --> 00:19:20,992
Feel free to use my landline.
424
00:19:23,284 --> 00:19:24,353
Oh.
425
00:19:31,645 --> 00:19:32,807
Bango.
426
00:19:40,106 --> 00:19:42,143
What do you got under there?
427
00:19:43,692 --> 00:19:45,435
You want me to take it out?
428
00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:47,372
Oh, no. No, that's cool.
429
00:19:47,414 --> 00:19:52,419
No. Any excuse to get her out.
430
00:19:56,698 --> 00:19:58,383
I love looking at this car.
431
00:19:59,826 --> 00:20:02,287
- Yeah.
- Whoa.
432
00:20:02,628 --> 00:20:04,230
Yes!
433
00:20:06,384 --> 00:20:07,677
Chromey beauty.
434
00:20:08,191 --> 00:20:10,428
Run your fingers along these edges.
435
00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,296
Like here and underneath.
436
00:20:12,997 --> 00:20:14,265
You feel that?
437
00:20:14,307 --> 00:20:17,134
Yeah, there's no rough spots
on this car anywhere.
438
00:20:17,176 --> 00:20:20,772
When I was a kid,
my neighbor had a car like this,
439
00:20:20,814 --> 00:20:23,408
and it had this weird back thing.
440
00:20:23,450 --> 00:20:24,775
What is this called?
441
00:20:24,817 --> 00:20:27,687
- They call it a truck bed.
- Mm.
442
00:20:29,255 --> 00:20:31,149
- Get in.
- Oh, no.
443
00:20:31,191 --> 00:20:32,816
I couldn't. I don't want to hurt it.
444
00:20:32,858 --> 00:20:35,852
A lot of people will tell you
a car like this,
445
00:20:35,894 --> 00:20:38,622
you should just bring it
to auto shows on Sunday.
446
00:20:38,664 --> 00:20:40,567
- It's shameful.
- Mm.
447
00:20:42,301 --> 00:20:44,570
This is a driving car.
448
00:20:46,839 --> 00:20:49,167
I feel like a getaway driver.
449
00:20:49,209 --> 00:20:51,102
Not with your hands off the wheel.
450
00:20:51,144 --> 00:20:53,603
Ooh.
451
00:20:53,645 --> 00:20:54,705
And it's wood.
452
00:20:54,747 --> 00:20:56,750
How bad is it for the environment?
453
00:20:57,850 --> 00:20:59,418
Really bad.
454
00:21:00,019 --> 00:21:01,278
Mmm.
455
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,082
Har-loo!
456
00:21:04,124 --> 00:21:07,785
Hello. I have something
very life-changing
457
00:21:07,827 --> 00:21:09,387
to share with you.
458
00:21:09,429 --> 00:21:12,090
Or change of life-ing. Hmm.
459
00:21:12,132 --> 00:21:13,323
- Mom. Mom, Mom.
- What?
460
00:21:13,365 --> 00:21:14,891
Can you make me
a grilled cheese sandwich
461
00:21:14,933 --> 00:21:16,160
with the Cheshire cheese you bought?
462
00:21:16,202 --> 00:21:17,829
- What?
- Can you make me, uh, the...
463
00:21:17,871 --> 00:21:19,330
With the Cheshire cheese that...
464
00:21:19,372 --> 00:21:20,898
Excuse me.
465
00:21:20,940 --> 00:21:23,301
- Hello.
- Hi.
466
00:21:23,343 --> 00:21:26,989
Hi. How are you?
467
00:21:27,031 --> 00:21:29,739
Could you please... move...
468
00:21:29,781 --> 00:21:31,775
to the side?
469
00:21:35,855 --> 00:21:38,592
Hmm. Mm-hmm.
470
00:21:39,759 --> 00:21:41,352
Mm-hmm.
471
00:21:41,394 --> 00:21:42,753
What?! No!
472
00:21:42,795 --> 00:21:44,088
What is that?!
473
00:21:44,130 --> 00:21:46,490
Oh, you got to get out.
474
00:21:46,532 --> 00:21:48,025
Can you please get out? Get out.
475
00:21:48,067 --> 00:21:49,694
Please, go to your own homes.
476
00:21:49,736 --> 00:21:51,562
Or to a parking lot. I don't care.
477
00:21:51,604 --> 00:21:54,198
But just... don't be
in my house right now.
478
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:55,432
Mom.
479
00:21:55,474 --> 00:21:57,101
- Mom, Mom, look at me. Mom.
- Ooh!
480
00:21:57,143 --> 00:21:59,070
Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.
481
00:21:59,112 --> 00:22:00,470
- Ugh.
- It's-it's a chinchilla.
482
00:22:00,512 --> 00:22:02,105
It's like a giant furry mouse.
483
00:22:02,147 --> 00:22:03,908
Ooh!
484
00:22:03,950 --> 00:22:07,277
Oh, so, how did this get here?
485
00:22:07,319 --> 00:22:09,779
Did somebody close a zoo?
Who paid for this?
486
00:22:09,821 --> 00:22:11,381
Did somebody pay for this?
487
00:22:11,423 --> 00:22:12,917
We didn't do it on purpose.
488
00:22:12,959 --> 00:22:16,053
We went to the store
to get boneys for the dogs.
489
00:22:16,095 --> 00:22:17,420
And Duke fell in love with it.
490
00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:20,024
She hasn't had a pet like this
since Mandy Patinkin died.
491
00:22:20,568 --> 00:22:23,227
Mm-hmm. Okay, so I'm just
curious, though.
492
00:22:23,269 --> 00:22:25,662
So you guys went to a store.
493
00:22:25,704 --> 00:22:30,133
So that means that you
paid money for this.
494
00:22:30,175 --> 00:22:32,969
So I'm just wondering
how you got the money.
495
00:22:33,779 --> 00:22:35,055
I paid for it.
496
00:22:36,816 --> 00:22:39,377
- Oh.
- On your credit card.
497
00:22:39,419 --> 00:22:41,179
Oh, that's awesome.
498
00:22:41,221 --> 00:22:45,448
Max, pick the box up with that thing,
499
00:22:45,490 --> 00:22:47,450
and bring it outside.
500
00:22:47,492 --> 00:22:49,253
- Now. Now.
- Mom, Mom, its name is Priscilla.
501
00:22:49,295 --> 00:22:50,454
Priscilla the Chinchilla.
502
00:22:50,496 --> 00:22:52,853
Pick up Priscilla,
503
00:22:52,895 --> 00:22:54,792
and bring her outside
504
00:22:54,834 --> 00:22:58,094
to my new car,
which I was gonna celebrate,
505
00:22:58,136 --> 00:23:00,307
but you thunder-stealing chinchilla...
506
00:23:00,349 --> 00:23:01,998
- Wait, when did you get a new car, Mom?
- New car?
507
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:03,266
Did you say new car?
508
00:23:03,308 --> 00:23:04,602
Mom, you promised me the minivan.
509
00:23:04,644 --> 00:23:05,803
You're full of shit, Mom.
510
00:23:06,241 --> 00:23:07,980
No, I am not.
511
00:23:09,340 --> 00:23:11,588
Did this thing even pass smog check?
512
00:23:11,630 --> 00:23:14,144
I don't know. I highly doubt it would.
513
00:23:14,186 --> 00:23:16,443
Mom, this car doesn't fit all of us.
514
00:23:16,485 --> 00:23:19,460
I know. Max, get in.
515
00:23:19,502 --> 00:23:20,943
No fair!
516
00:23:20,985 --> 00:23:23,153
Too bad, sucka. That's what you get
517
00:23:23,195 --> 00:23:25,488
for buying a chinchilla behind my back.
518
00:23:25,530 --> 00:23:26,690
Go inside.
519
00:23:31,136 --> 00:23:32,572
Yeah, baby!
520
00:23:37,012 --> 00:23:40,523
Unfortunately, there's no return
on pets, only store credit.
521
00:23:40,565 --> 00:23:44,494
I'm not trying to spend $300
on dog food and bones.
522
00:23:44,536 --> 00:23:47,560
We have a very fine selection of
pets that you can choose from.
523
00:23:47,602 --> 00:23:50,800
I don't want another pet.
I want my money back.
524
00:23:50,842 --> 00:23:52,834
You're the one who sold this dog mouse
525
00:23:52,876 --> 00:23:55,638
to a minor without parental consent.
526
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,416
No, I didn't. I sold it to her.
527
00:23:58,749 --> 00:24:00,042
Anyway,
528
00:24:00,084 --> 00:24:01,543
he's been returned too many times.
529
00:24:01,585 --> 00:24:03,178
They'll probably put him down.
530
00:24:03,220 --> 00:24:05,223
- Oh, shit.
- Oh...
531
00:24:06,391 --> 00:24:08,150
- Huh, fella?
- Jesus.
532
00:24:11,062 --> 00:24:13,232
I'll be right back.
533
00:24:14,966 --> 00:24:17,226
- Hello.
I just would like
534
00:24:17,268 --> 00:24:19,762
to start this phone call by
saying I'm not your manager.
535
00:24:19,804 --> 00:24:22,063
- Stop saying that.
- Well, it's true.
536
00:24:22,105 --> 00:24:26,334
And, okay, so they're going
with all the original cast...
537
00:24:26,376 --> 00:24:28,103
That's great!
538
00:24:28,145 --> 00:24:30,487
...except for Rooster.
539
00:24:30,529 --> 00:24:31,607
What?
540
00:24:31,649 --> 00:24:34,409
They're getting Lazlo Barber.
541
00:24:34,451 --> 00:24:36,411
Lazlo Barber is dead.
542
00:24:36,453 --> 00:24:37,580
I know.
543
00:24:37,622 --> 00:24:39,849
So, what are you talking about?
544
00:24:39,891 --> 00:24:43,285
Th-They're doing something,
a new technology
545
00:24:43,327 --> 00:24:45,822
called Vocology Sernagraphio.
546
00:24:45,864 --> 00:24:47,857
They piece together his voice.
547
00:24:47,899 --> 00:24:50,025
I mean they have, like,
over 10,000 hours
548
00:24:50,067 --> 00:24:51,438
of recordings of him.
549
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:55,497
Okay, so you're telling me
that an actually dead person
550
00:24:55,539 --> 00:25:00,436
is getting a part over me,
which is my actual part?
551
00:25:00,478 --> 00:25:03,206
Ugh, I hate being the bearer
of bad news. Jesus.
552
00:25:03,248 --> 00:25:05,345
It's nothing personal, Sam.
553
00:25:05,387 --> 00:25:08,043
They just wanted to go
in a different direction.
554
00:25:10,207 --> 00:25:12,076
It just wasn't the right fit.
555
00:25:12,537 --> 00:25:15,818
It was the right fit... for a decade.
556
00:25:16,226 --> 00:25:18,487
The guys said they love you
and they will keep you in mind
557
00:25:18,529 --> 00:25:20,121
for incidental characters.
558
00:25:24,402 --> 00:25:25,726
Oh, well.
559
00:25:27,561 --> 00:25:29,564
Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
560
00:25:29,606 --> 00:25:30,748
Exactly.
561
00:25:42,620 --> 00:25:45,090
Oof.
562
00:25:51,194 --> 00:25:54,724
Mom. Mom.
563
00:25:54,766 --> 00:25:55,957
She's nice.
564
00:25:55,999 --> 00:25:57,259
Whoa.
565
00:25:57,301 --> 00:25:59,328
- It's a girl?
- Yeah, it's a girl.
566
00:25:59,370 --> 00:26:01,840
- Look.
- Huh.
567
00:26:07,111 --> 00:26:09,304
Okay.
568
00:26:15,018 --> 00:26:16,255
Mom?
569
00:26:18,221 --> 00:26:19,849
What the fuck?
570
00:26:19,891 --> 00:26:24,863
Welcome to my midlife crisis!
571
00:26:28,732 --> 00:26:30,191
Can I drive your new whip?
572
00:26:30,233 --> 00:26:32,460
Hmm.
573
00:26:34,037 --> 00:26:35,297
Okay.
574
00:26:36,030 --> 00:26:38,841
I have to tend to the livestock anyway.
575
00:26:39,925 --> 00:26:41,412
Let's go home, baby.
576
00:26:42,579 --> 00:26:44,206
Let's go, snakey.
577
00:26:44,248 --> 00:26:46,876
Oh, cool, it's raining again.
578
00:26:46,918 --> 00:26:48,687
It's so cool.
579
00:26:52,190 --> 00:26:53,549
Be careful.
580
00:26:53,591 --> 00:26:55,318
You got the windshield wipers?
581
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:57,838
I think we should call her Betty White.
582
00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:59,225
Betty White?
583
00:27:03,977 --> 00:27:08,730
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
583
00:27:09,305 --> 00:27:15,928
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