Original subtitles

(suspenseful music)

(suspenseful music continues)

(radio chattering)

- Can you hear?

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me?

(radio chattering)

Good.

Secure the hostage.

Ow.

- [Tank] What do we do with his body?

- Bring me his head.

Packaged discreetly.

I don't need to see that.

Go ahead.

I love the retro thing

but the sound, don't get me wrong,

I love the gift, I just, hello?

(helicopter whirring)

- Somebody found us.

What's the plan?

- Search the perimeter.

Bring him back to me alive.

Brock freaking Belfrie,

when are you gonna learn?

You're too old for this game.

- [Radio] We're ready to rock, just give us the word.

(Brock grunting)

- [Radio] Belfrie, you copy?

Belfrie?

Belfrie?

(speaking in a foreign language)

- Don't start, sit down.

Sit down.

(hand punching)

You know when they put you to pasture

you're gonna be right there next to me.

(gun banging)

(hands punching)

(body banging)

(body banging)

(Tank grunting)

Ah.

You will not see the last of me, Belfrie.

Ah.

(bomb beeping)

(bomb exploding)

- Hello?

(radio chattering)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

♪ One time only, one time deep ♪

♪ She said you need a ride back ♪

♪ Some cash ♪

♪ And one decided been a long while ♪

♪ Since I played, and can liar ♪

♪ And we had a good time ♪

♪ Had a good time ♪

♪ Such a good time ♪

♪ Blackhawk ♪

♪ You know a Blackhawk ♪

♪ Every inch of the way ♪

♪ And when you rock you better roll, Willy ♪

♪ That's a long lift ♪

(upbeat music)

(slow music)

- Mr. Belfrie, how are you feeling this morning?

Hello?

- Oh, I'm, I'm good.

I guess I'm just ready to get out of here.

- It looks like you're gonna be here for a few weeks.

- Oh, come on.

- You have a lacerated deltoid.

Your planter tendon needs surgery.

You're gonna have to be patient.

How old are you?

- 42.

- You're getting a little long in the tooth

to be playing hero.

So, today's agenda, you have X-rays,

11 am prelim with your physical therapist.

Yummy hospital lunch at 1,

oh yes, and it's bath day.

You down for a little sponge bath?

- Oh yeah, well all right.

- Great, Ingrid,

sergeant Befrie is ready for his sponge bath.

(slow music)

(slow music)

(Belfrie grunting)

Doing good.

(upbeat music)

You've come so far.

(upbeat music)

Look how far you've come.

(upbeat music)

Real good.

(upbeat music)

- Thanks, doc.

I never thought I'd be sad to be leaving this place.

- [Mia] Gonna miss all those hospital lunches, eh?

- A lot more than that.

- Then maybe you should ask me to lunch sometimes.

- Doctor Lang.

- Mia?

- Mia, I was curious.

Could you see yourself with someone like me?

- Lunch?

Absolutely.

Friends, yes, end up with you

as in end up with you, not likely.

- Too good for me?

That what it is?

- No, soldiers come through here all the time.

Not all of them are as lucky as you.

I'd be worried that one day you'd go to work and...

- Be unlucky.

- Belfrie, you are now honorably discharged

from the United States Army.

In exchange you are to keep your history

and your assignments fully classified.

- We're suggesting a relocation

as well as flying under the radar at the moment.

- You come across any strange situations

you contact our office immediately.

- And please keep us abreast of your whereabouts

just to be safe.

- Most importantly, you come across

any of those unsavory characters

that you faced on the battlefield,

you contact me immediately.

All right, Belfrie, good luck with everything.

- You are now a civilian.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

- [Belfrie] Looking forward to the new us.

- Okay.

- And, ah.

(upbeat music)

(glass clinking)

(upbeat music)

(TV chattering)

(upbeat music)

(door closing)

(suspenseful music)

(guns banging)

- Oh come on, that's not how you,

you can't reach a door...

Ah, number three is flagging number two?

What the hell?

Just...

(guns banging)

Yeah cool, flag each other.

This...

(guns banging)

- You miss it?

- I am exactly where I wanna be.

- You're not bored?

- No.

Well, maybe a little.

- I knew it.

You know what I think you need?

- Bam chicks wow wow?

- Besides that.

I think you need to find something that interests you.

Like coaching little league, maybe a hobby.

You have a whole new life ahead of you.

- Hm, you know what?

You are right.

You're right.

I'm gonna get me a job.

- Hey, bout time you start

carrying your own weight around here.

- Carry some more weight than just mine.

- [Mia] Okay.

- Hm, good idea.

(Mia laughing)

(slow music)

- Get my chopper to the helipad.

- So, Mr. Belfrie, what kind of work experience do you have?

- Well, nothing I can talk about really.

Well see, I signed an NDA on my last gig

but I promise you I am a natural born kill...

Leader, natural born leader,

but I'm not looking for that kind of responsibility anymore.

- What a surprise.

Office skills?

- Well...

(phone ringing)

- Hello?

I'm working.

I'm sitting in my office right now.

I have someone sitting across from me.

♪ By the time we see the sun ♪

- Food service experience?

- Can make a mac 'n cheese that's fire.

What else you got?

- Experience in sales.

House painting.

Bartending.

No?

Birthday party clown.

- Come on now, really?

- Work with me, Belfrie.

Aside from being a standup comedian,

you must possess some skills.

- What I do have are a very particular set of skills.

You could say I have experience

working in security.

- Actually, I have something that might be right for you.

- Really?

What's that?

- Rent-a-Cop has an opening.

(upbeat music)

- Mister I made poopa.

- Well, get the hell away from me

and take your poopa with you, little girl.

Go on.

(child screaming)

- What did you just say to my kid?

If I wasn't on parole I would beat your ass.

- Really, need to tend to your little girl there.

- I've seen your type before.

What do you think you're a cop? You're a loser.

I wanna speak to your supervisor. Supervisor.

- This one will be hard to screw up.

Play it safe, don't talk to anybody.

(upbeat music)

(wall banging)

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, calm down.

(washer door closing)

Hey man, put your drawers back on.

(change rattling)

- [Customer] Money, money, money.

(speaking in a foreign language)

- But this wasn't my fault.

The man was naked.

I'm not talking half naked,

I'm talking about buck, stark, full frontal just nasty.

I wasn't about to put my hands on him.

- Then I got called to the maternity ward

to deliver two babies in three hours

followed by removing a dime from a kid's nose.

Sorry.

How was your day at work?

- Well, about that...

- I know the jobs that they've been sending you on

aren't ideal and I know that I said

that we don't need the extra money

but speaking of maternity ward...

- What? - You're gonna be a daddy.

- What?

Me?

When?

- December.

- Oh, I love you so much.

- I love you too.

- What?

Oh my god.

- Yeah.

- A baby.

- We're gonna be the perfect little family

and I was thinking the extra money

that you've been making,

we can put it towards the baby's room.

- Hmm.

- So, what were you gonna tell me?

- Oh nothing, nothing.

We are going to have a baby.

We are going to have a baby.

Hello, hello, I'm your daddy.

Hey.

- So, before you bailed the last time

I had one last job that is suitable for you.

- I'll take it.

- You don't even know what it is yet.

- Doesn't matter, I need a job.

- Fine.

- The Sunnydale Retirement Village?

- One and only.

They need an extra security guy.

- What about that square dancing place?

I can absolutely outrun that woman if I need to.

- Oh, that ship has sailed, Belfrie.

So suck it up.

This is the last job that suits you.

That's it.

- A retirement village?

♪ But the way you carry your persona ♪

♪ It's been a long call making it out ♪

♪ Louisville, gateway to the south ♪

♪ So Louisville ♪

♪ So Louisville ♪

♪ This is for our city ♪

♪ So Louisville ♪

♪ So Louisville ♪

♪ This is for my city, for my city ♪

♪ I'm so glad we feel cold or flow griff ♪

♪ Taking places is smart down 35th ♪

♪ I'm like Ali feeling like the greatest ♪

♪ Wouldn't feel right without a shout and static mate ♪

(car engine revving)

(car door closing)

(upbeat music)

♪ Yes, sir ♪

(air whooshing)

♪ When I touch down ♪

- I'm looking for Kurt?

- Don't bother, he's in a constant state of meditation.

Has anyone told you you have a radiant aura?

- No, ma'am.

- Herta Sherry.

- Brock.

- I'm picking up a marvelous vibe.

- Is Kurt around?

- Kurt?

The operations manager?

Virgo, sweet but extremely uptight.

What's your sign?

- May I have my hand back?

- My guess would be Gemini.

Cut the deck.

Are you married?

- Yes.

- I myself am not.

Not that I wouldn't give it another whirl.

Seven is my lucky number.

- You've been married seven times?

- Six.

- Seven's the one that'll stick.

♪ Touchdown in your town all we do is ball ♪

♪ Touchdown in your town all we do is ball ♪

- You remind me of my son.

(hand slapping)

Hate my son.

That boy still owes me $400.

- Brock Belfrie?

- [Herta] We have to talk.

Something right bad is about to happen to you.

- Kurt Hamper, operations manager.

I was afraid you changed your mind.

Come on.

♪ Get my business right, player ♪

♪ Take an oath this year ♪

- Welcome to the Sunnydale team.

As you can see, I have my hands full.

- Well, I wasn't expecting that.

- Well, you know, you hear the term retirement village

and you think, oh bingo and knitting circles

but the truth is it's hell on earth.

Yeah, and it's thanks to social media

because they got the old people thinking

that this age is just a number.

Last week I caught two of our 90 year olds

running an Only Fans account.

Yeah, it was like,

like watching 50 Shades of Gray in diapers.

- Ah, sorry I'm late.

Martha and Enzo were doing bong rips

on the veranda again.

What up, dog?

Kirby Carmichael.

Welcome to our humble abode.

- Brock.

How long have you lived here?

- Oh, I don't.

I'm the head of security.

So, did you tell him about our,

the super fun assignment?

- Oh, oh my goodness, you are gonna love this.

So, once a year a few of our more manageable residents

get a reward and it's just a,

it's a quick road trip.

- To Atlantic City baby.

High five.

- Atlantic City?

Oh, no, I'm sorry, I can't.

- Oh no, no, no, it's okay, no, no.

They're, it's not a problem.

All your expenses are paid including money

for gas and snacks.

- I will help around here but I,

I can't go to Atlantic City.

I'm married.

- Don't worry, I'll make sure you don't get your freak on.

- I don't get my freak on.

- Reservations have already been made.

- Yeah.

Okay.

- Bon voyage.

(upbeat music)

Martha, I have told you not to smoke in here.

- I'm sorry, my memory must be going to crap.

- Do that around Francis's oxygen

and this place is gonna go up like the Hindenburg.

- Read your cards.

You have a very interesting trajectory.

Did I tell you that my grandson

was abducted by a UFO?

- You don't even have a grandson.

- Have another drink, Martha May.

That's why your son never comes to visit you.

- This is Brock.

- He's taking us to Atlantic City.

- Well hello there, big and beefy.

Mitzi Monet here, charmed I'm sure.

- Sorry, Mitz, he's married.

- But not buried.

- Big dog, I'm Teddy, this is Enzo, and that's Francis.

- Beg your pardon?

- He's taking us to Atlantic City.

- No, I'm not.

- Can't find my keys.

- He don't hear too good.

- He also doesn't drive.

- But he's a hell of a paisano, right Francis?

- Okay, and this is Ophelia.

(Ophelia yelling)

No, no, no, no, no.

- Down girl, down girl.

He remind me of my son.

(upbeat music)

(airplane engine revving)

(tires screeching)

- Did you guys find him yet, huh?

The boss is getting antsy.

(radio buzzing)

- Son of a bitch, I got him.

- [Sketch] What?

- I got him.

- [Sketch] Brock?

- Yeah, got his cell phone right here, listen.

- Mia, I am not going.

- Calm down you big baby.

It's only a weekend.

- [Sketch] He's in Kentucky.

- Sh. - [Sketch] Let me in on that.

- Stop.

Son of a...

I lost him.

- I should have never agreed to work with this clan.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, listen.

- I mean, they may be veterans

but they are seriously twisted.

- Veterans.

- They are totally breaking it down.

- This is not good, this is not good.

- [Sketch] This is Zero Dark Thirty stuff.

- This is not what I expected.

One of 'em almost blew up the place.

They're animals.

- It's not gonna be that bad.

- I'm telling you, this mob doesn't play by the rules.

- Mob?

This mob.

It's like a secret mob.

Of course.

- [Tank] I lost him.

- Kentucky Fried Illuminati.

- Illuminati.

Hey, we gotta get out of here.

That means they know our location.

We gotta go.

Clean up this stuff.

- That's not the point, Mia.

I just don't roll with old people.

- Not all old people are gonna smother you

like they did when you were little.

- I just can't leave you alone.

- Honey, I'm fine.

I'm a big girl.

I will be okay.

- Well, don't forget I'm supposed to be laying low.

- Everything's gonna be great, all right?

I'll talk to you soon.

I love you.

Bye.

- Yeah well, closer isn't good enough.

Thanks to you buffoons

I'm a laughing stock

of the international kidnapping community.

Ow.

Okay, listen, I appreciate you

putting the man in manicure

but you are mining my cuticles, baby.

- We're tracking Belfrie's phone as we speak.

He's somewhere in Kentucky.

- Really?

Wow, very clever.

Okay gentlemen, this is your last chance to find him.

Get it?

Jagger, you go lick your wounds.

Take a staycation.

Rest of you, find sergeant Belfrie

and his new kill squad.

- We need more intel.

- Yeah.

- Well, that's exactly what you'll get.

Gentlemen, meet Tasha Sharp.

She's graciously come on board

to provide us with a little inside information.

- Hiya boys.

- [Sketch] Hey Tasha.

- Eliminate them all.

No, no clear coat, like just a, just a buff.

What am I, Nathan Lane?

(slow music)

(bag banging)

(door closing)

- Hello?

- [Tasha] It's Tasha Sharp over at Special Ops.

I was just calling to see how civilian life

is treating you.

- Well, so far so good.

I think I'm gonna stay in Louisville for a bit.

- Great to hear.

Well, make sure to absolutely send us your address

so we can keep it on file

and out of curiosity, are you working with anyone?

- Well, right now I'm teamed up

at a place called Sunnydale.

- Well, it makes me warm hearted

to hear that you are doing so well.

Make sure to keep us posted on your whereabouts

and stay golden.

- I will.

Babe.

- Yes.

I got it.

- What?

- They took my bid.

There's a, Steve Austin action figure, the original.

You look through the eye

and it has this kind of telescopic thing.

(inaudible)

How was your thing?

(slow music)

(car door closing)

(car engine revving)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

- I can't find my keys.

- It's okay, it's okay.

Listen, Ophelia's meds should be

kicking in any minute.

Have fun, be careful.

Have fun.

- [Ladies] Good morning, Mr. Belfrie.

- Looking sharp, ladies.

- This is gonna be a trip

we're never gonna forget.

- I don't doubt that.

- Hidey ho, partner.

You didn't have to wear your uniform.

Loosen up.

- I don't loosen.

- Well, I myself am ready to throw down.

Get my drink on.

Get hizzy for my shizzy.

- Will you please stop doing that?

- Word.

Oh.

According to the old navigator

in about 12 hours we should roll into Atlantic City.

14 if you count the potty breaks.

I'll cover the first leg.

- The hell you will.

Keys.

- Suit yourself.

(everyone cheering)

(upbeat music)

- [Herta] Mr. Belfrie?

- Yes, Herta.

- [Herta] Can you pull over, please. I need a potty break.

- Get ready for lots of that.

I kinda have to go too, I mean, to be honest.

Anybody else have to go?

Hands up.

We all have to go.

(sirens blaring)

- Get on the bus.

(sirens blaring)

Get on the bus, please.

(upbeat music)

Get on the bus.

Get on the bus.

(upbeat music)

(phone buzzing)

- Belfrie.

- Oh, hi it's Tasha, just checking in.

- Yeah, I'm on a road trip

if you wanna call it that.

- Well earned.

Where exactly are you?

- Well, I'm headed out of state and...

(phone clicking)

- You're supposed to rest.

It is imperative that I have your specific location

for your safety.

- I gotta call you back.

Get on the bus.

(upbeat music)

♪ And a good time, such a good time ♪

(upbeat music)

- Okay, who's ready for an egg salad Sammy?

- [Herta] Yeah.

- Egg salad?

- [Teddy] Yeah.

- Egg salad, egg salad, egg salad?

- Are you sure this is the right way?

- Well, the old flip phone is never wrong.

Egg salad?

Chow down, folks.

(upbeat music)

- This is where he's hiding out?

- Tasha said it was Sunnydale.

- Gentlemen, Kurt Hamper, operations manager.

Can I help you?

- We're looking for a friend of ours.

- Belfrie.

- Brock Belfrie.

- Ha ha ha, sure, yeah, he's,

oh no, no, no, you can't go inside.

No, I'm sorry, you can't...

I'm sorry, Brock who?

- Brock Belfrie.

- There is no Brock Belfrie.

We have a Brock Bellingslyinge.

He's Norwegian.

He has like vibrant blue eyes, they're stunning

but yeah, there's no Brock Belfrie.

- He ain't in there.

- See?

- Where is he?

- I, there, I don't, wait, what are you doing?

What are you, no, no, no, I can't go,

are you taking?

I have to call bingo balls at three.

- [Sketch] This is the way, get in the van.

- [Kurt] Oh my god, are you kidnapping me?

(upbeat music)

- Hey, how's it going?

- It's going.

- You good?

- Define good.

- I have a surprise for you.

- Yeah, what's that?

- I'm gonna come down there and hang out with you guys.

- Oh babe, as bad as I wanna see you I just,

it's just not a good time.

- Okay.

- Stay put, I'll see you when I get home.

I love you.

- I love you more.

- [Brock] Bye bye.

- Okay, bye.

(upbeat music)

(tire screeching)

(car door closing)

- It's flat.

- [Tank] Is he on the move?

- Looks like he's heading east.

- It looks like Tasha's information was correct.

- Where is he?

- He's heading east now.

We did capture one of his accomplices though.

We're interrogating him right now.

- Just get it done.

Morons.

It's like asking the touring company of Roadhouse

to sub in for Sweeney Todd.

- Go with Hern.

- Like Cario.

- Ah, point taken.

- Something tells me I'm gonna have to handle this myself.

That's what you get

when you hire personal trainers for henchmen.

Your little vacation done?

- Ready to rumble.

- Why did I do that?

I always default to the diminutive.

Little this, little that, it's kind of,

it's not threatening, is it?

- Pretty campy.

- It is, it's a little cam, there I did it again.

It's just, I don't know, I don't get it.

It's odd.

Lemon drop?

- Sure.

- Do we have any more information

from our guest back there?

- Where is Brock Belfrie.

- Okay, I will say it again,

I don't know any Brock Belfrie.

Now look, if you just let me out

I swear I won't utter a word of this to anyone.

- Tank, just let me kill him.

- He's heading to the Silver Slipper casino

in Atlantic City.

- Hey, that checks out.

He's heading that direction.

(Sketch laughing)

(slow music)

(tire banging)

- Looks like you got a flat tire.

(slow music)

- Boy, what the hell'd you run over?

- Don't start, Ophelia.

- Zip it, you old fool.

You don't know me.

- Will everybody just please calm down

and get back on the bus?

(slow music)

- There's a spare tire in the back.

- It's okay, I see a little rest stop up ahead.

I'll pull up there.

- Good plan, Ace.

(door closing)

- Look, I want you to take them inside

and buy them lunch while I fix this.

One hour.

- Roger dodger.

- And Kirby, come and get me

if you see anyone strange.

- Okay.

- [Brock] Well, more strange.

- 10/4 good buddy.

You know what?

I'm starting to think we make a really great team.

Kinda like Starsky and Hutch.

- One hour, Kirby.

- Sure thing, Starsky.

- And, don't bring them back here

until you're satisfied that everyone

has gone to the bathroom, okay?

- All right, gotcha.

Come on everybody, it's chow time.

(whistle blowing)

This way, this way.

Come on. - You need help at all?

- No, no, I'm good.

- You're okay?

- Yeah.

- All right.

(slow music)

- Look, let's make it fast all right.

Pit stop.

- Hey, order me some grub while you're in there.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Hey darling, how many of you are there?

- Uh, table for eight please.

- Anywhere you like.

- [Kirby] Come on, gang.

(rocks crunching)

- Where is he?

- He's here.

(people chattering)

(suspenseful music)

- Well, well, well, fancy running into you here.

I told you I'd find you.

- Well, you surely did.

(upbeat music)

- Toss it.

(upbeat music)

Oh, I'm not gonna fall for that.

(upbeat music)

- Has anyone told you, you have a radiant aura?

- All the time.

- Herta Ziering.

- General Burt Langley.

- General.

- Hey Burt, can I warm up your coffee?

- Sure.

- And, got your number seven.

- Lucky number seven.

Thanks, Cherry.

- Number seven?

(upbeat music)

(Sketch grunting)

(upbeat music)

(metal banging)

(upbeat music)

- Where's the head?

- Up at the cashiers.

(upbeat music)

(air whooshing)

- Hello there, Cherry.

Do you sell chili dogs?

- What if I do?

- Well, then I'd have to bother you

for three chili dogs, footlongs please.

- All right.

- Wow.

- Where'd I put my keys?

- So beautiful, what brings you out

to the middle of nowhere?

- Oh, just a quick road trip

with a few old friends.

You?

- Normally I'm not allowed to discuss my past

but I'm retired.

I was stationed over at Fort Knox.

Got this little house right next to the place.

- Fort Knox?

Where they keep all the money?

- That ain't all they got locked up there.

You wouldn't believe what they're holding in that place.

I'm talking UFO's.

Let me know if you ever want

a little after hours tour.

- Check please.

- Ha ha ha, there you are.

You son of a bitch.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

(engine revving)

(Francis laughing)

- Cool jacket.

I used to have one back in the '80s

when I was a roadie for Judas Priest.

Did a tour in Munich once,

partied our asses off.

Yeah, I don't remember a lot of that tour.

Okay, I'll see you later.

Thanks, Cherry.

(can scraping)

- Yeah, it's about time.

- Cabin fever getting to you?

I'm with you.

You look busted.

- [Brock] Yeah.

- I could have helped you change the tire.

- No, it's done, let's go.

- All right.

Oh, got you pie.

- I appreciate that.

Now, can we get on the road please?

Hey, this is Red Dog 3182,

former agent Brock Belfrie.

Can you connect me with sergeant Green

in the Special Ops Black Unit, please?

- Belfrie, what's your status.

- Two of Pierce's goons caught up with me.

- Herta, what are you doing?

- We're taking a little side excursion.

You and the others go ahead.

We'll catch up later.

- You don't even know this guy.

- If anyone knows him it's me.

- Oh, 'cause you know things, right?

How are you gonna find us?

- I'll find you.

Remember, I have the gift.

- [Burt] And terrific GPS.

- Oh hon.

(car engine revving)

- None now, I disarmed them.

They're tied up behind Dusty's Diner in Bridgecrest.

- We'll get some MP's over there right away.

You got wheels?

- [Brock] You can say that.

- There's probably a third one lurking nearby.

I'll call you when we scoop him up, all right?

Be safe.

- Copy.

- Dammit.

I don't know how they were on him so quickly.

- I don't know.

I can look into it.

Did he say where he's headed?

I'm on it.

- Everybody here?

- Six, seven, Mitzy, is Francis back there?

- He's gone night night.

- Let's hit the road, man.

- All accounted for.

Everybody except...

- Herta.

- Where's Herta?

- Well, she's probably just met number seven.

- Number seven?

- She'll be fine.

She did the same thing with five and six.

- Okay.

(upbeat music)

(Francis mumbling)

- Don't forget to signal.

- I got it, Kirby.

- Copy that, Starsky.

- And stop calling me Starsky.

- Copy that.

- And stop saying, copy that.

- Gotcha.

Egg salad?

- If I took one, will you stop asking me?

- Uh, I can't promise that.

Maybe, yeah go ahead.

Want the other half?

(slow music)

- [Tank] Moose.

- Guys.

- Moose.

- Moose.

- Who else it gonna be, you idiot?

(knocking on can)

- What are you guys doing in there?

- We're not in there, we're back here.

- [Tank] Hurry up.

- [Moose] Well, what the hell are you guys doing back here?

- Hurry up, move.

Come on.

- [Henchman] I think he used like a hitch knot or something.

(Francis laughing)

- Four more hours.

Just get comfortable.

- Slow down, slow down, slow down.

(Francis laughing)

- Gee Tank, why you walking so fast?

- So bad, I got rope rash on my wrist.

- Where the hell is our ride?

- That son of a bitch and his kill squad

must have jacked it.

- Did you see him?

- Nope.

(slow music)

(knocking on door)

- Sorry fellas, I'm on my lunch break.

(slow music)

- [Biker] Hey.

- Absolutely not.

(slow music)

- Thanks for stopping.

My friend is unconscious.

(slow music)

- Everybody stay put.

(slow music)

- You heard him.

Everybody stay put.

- Hold her head back.

- Hurry please.

- How long has she been like this?

- Just now.

- [Biker] Can we get a ride to an emergency room?

- No, I'm sorry.

I got a bus full already

but I'll call for...

- How about now rent-a-cop?

(slow music)

- [Biker] Everybody off the bus.

- [Biker] Move it, you old bitty.

- Ladies, you're not thinking this through.

- Shut up, grandpa.

- You're right.

You're lucky I'm not your grandpa

because I'd tan your behinds.

- Oh, bet you'd like that.

- Got a point.

- I ain't seen one of these in a long time.

- You're gonna have to kill me dead

before you can take my fanny pack.

- Don't tempt her, Martha.

- [Biker] Where's your wallet, tough guy?

- It's on the bus.

- Well, what are you waiting for?

Move your ass.

You too, empty your purse.

- Such a pretty girl, remind me of my daughter.

I hate my damn daughter.

- Freeze.

- Beat it.

- Or not.

(motorcycle engines revving)

(upbeat music)

- I spy with my little eye.

Do you need some Kleenex?

(car beeping)

I'll get you some.

Who's got Kleenex?

(tires screeching)

- Everybody stays put.

Do not get out of the bus.

- You heard what the man said.

No matter what, nobody gets off the bus.

- Kirby, stay with them.

I'm gonna see if I can find the police station.

- Gotcha.

(upbeat music)

Everyone, everyone. Brock will be back in a minute.

Just stay right here.

- I'm feeling dehydrated.

I could go for a glass of water.

- Yeah, I need to wet my whistle.

- Martha, Martha please.

Please, Brock will be right back.

Ophelia.

Martha, Martha.

All right, go on.

- Wait up, fellas.

(upbeat music)

- [Brock] Hello

(knocking on door)

- How can I help ya?

- Hi, is there a sheriff's station in town?

- You're standing in it.

- Well, I need to talk to a police officer.

- What can I do you for?

- You're a cop?

- I am.

I'm also a notary, a CPA, and a certified iowaska therapist.

Got a sweat lodge out back.

Did you wanna make an appointment?

- No, I'm good.

I'm transporting a bus load of seniors

to Atlantic City and we were just robbed

out on the highway.

- Let me guess, you wanna file a report?

- Yeah.

- [Officer] All right.

Fill these out.

- Woo.

Come on, take it.

(frat guys laughing)

- Hey dude, check it out, our dates are here.

- Hello young man.

Is it happy hour?

- No, ma'am, not until six.

- Do you take senior discounts?

- I'm sorry, we don't.

- Hey GILF's.

Hey, hey, over here, drinks on us, we'll buy.

That's if you ladies can keep up.

(frat guys laughing)

- Line 'em up, boy.

(pen scribbling)

(upbeat music)

(everyone screeching)

(upbeat music)

(everyone cheering)

- Hey, to women of a certain age.

- And one for the dead.

- One for the dead.

Hell yes.

Hey bartender, another round.

(everyone laughing)

- Keep it coming.

- Here, these.

(Francis sputtering)

- Yeah, yeah.

- He loves to get around.

- You better make it rain.

- Yeah buddy, all that ain't free.

(everyone cheering)

- Hurry up with that second round baby girl.

- Mitzi, are you crazy?

We don't got cash.

(everyone cheering)

- See this now.

Okay, so let me get this straight here.

You's was robbed by some biker chicks?

- Yes.

- Let me guess, were they on pink motorcycles

with them fringy things on the handlebars?

- No.

They were bad ass biker bitches.

- Okay, hold on one second.

Information Center, this is Reba.

I told you kids not to be calling me here all day.

No, I don't care how many damn Funyuns he's had.

He's not enough to give him pig belly.

I can't talk right now.

I'm conducting some official police business.

Now, put this phone down right now

and don't call me unless one of you's are dying.

Jesus.

Go ahead.

(upbeat music)

- Lady, I'm in love with you.

- I know.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, you better slow it down ladies.

Don't forget you're drinking

with the profess...

(Ophelia laughing)

(upbeat music)

- [Francis] Wanna come live with me?

- No, no, no.

- [Francis] Got my own house.

(everyone clapping)

- Let's hear it for Ruby and her new boyfriend.

Time to clean up pal, she's a man eater.

Now, as most of our regulars know

the generous proprietors of the Jelly's Club

have started the daily amateur spotlight

where nubile newbies can come up on stage

and shoot their shot.

If our contestant gets a big round of applause,

she'll get 100 bucks cash,

all the tips you scumbags throw at her

and we'll cover her tab.

Please welcome to the stage,

Mitzi the titsy blitzy.

(everyone clapping)

(upbeat music)

- She didn't.

- I think maybe she did.

(upbeat music)

(everyone cheering)

(upbeat music)

- Who said no, say baby.

- [DJ] We have a winner.

(Martha laughing)

- Lightweights.

- Look, there's the bitches that robbed us.

- I'll handle those ho's.

- No, no, no, sh, they're packing heat.

- I got Mace.

- Put that away.

Come on, we need a plan.

- All right big guy, looks like we're all set.

We'll let you know if we come across them

killer lady bikers.

We don't want those gals

terrorizing you and your old posse now, do we?

- Thank you.

(phone buzzing)

Belfrie.

- [Sergeant Green] Belfrie, sergeant Green.

Looks like Tank and Sketch got loose before we got there.

- Damn.

The thing is I'm driving a group of seniors

to Atlantic City and this could get sticky.

- [Sergeant Green] Okay well watch your back.

Keep moving.

I'll try to find you an escort.

- Okay, copy.

- [Sergeant Green] We're in the process of

tracking them down.

Odds are we'll find them before they find you

but stay in touch.

- All right, okay.

(suspenseful music)

- Not too bad for a day's heist.

(suspenseful music)

- Hey, what are you looking at?

- A bitch with a hole in her head

if you don't give us our money back.

- Drop your weapons you very bad young girls.

Now, where is our money?

And where's my fanny pack?

(gun banging)

(guns banging)

- What in the name of

Driving Miss Daisy on crack is going on?

I told you to stay on the bus.

I said it over and over again.

- [Ophelia] I got the money back

and then some.

- [Martha] And I got my fanny pack.

- I don't care.

I don't give a damn about your fanny pack.

(Brock grunting)

I've had it with you lunatics.

Had it with your stupid egg salad.

Your stupid potty breaks

and your stupid back seat driving.

- If I could...

- Zip it.

Shut hells up.

Just shut up.

Now, I should have stuck with my gut

and not agreed to this living hell.

I tried everything I could to keep driving you people.

It's like herding a box of kittens.

Old ass crack head kittens.

Now, I am done.

You are on your own.

I will walk my ass all the way home

before I endure another minute of this insanity.

(slow music)

(car hood closing)

- All fixed, just let me get the paperwork.

- You need a ride home?

- Nah, I'll rent a car and head back.

- So, what's next for you?

- I don't know.

I'll think of something.

- You know Kurt will want you back

once he realizes who you really are.

Red Dog Special Ops Black Unit.

- How did you figure that out?

- Meet Red Dog Special Ops Gray Unit.

- Really?

Gray unit?

- Team leader.

- Wow, look at you.

So, why did you retire?

- I got older.

It's time to settle down

and I'm loving it.

Speaking of, you need to start

showing old folks some respect.

- Yeah, you know it's really not like that.

My father died in combat

when I was just a little kid

and my grandparents and aunts helped raise me.

I had my fill I guess, you know?

Especially after today.

- Give 'em a break.

They were having fun.

Til we were robbed.

- Right?

- You do realize that you going to be old too one day

if you're lucky.

Life ain't over when you grow old.

It just means that you,

you got more miles on the odometer.

Life experience.

Look at me.

Minus a few aches, I'm 74 and still unstoppable.

The secret is to stay young right here.

So, show some respect.

- Copy that.

(wood banging)

- Did I interrupt your tender greeting card moment?

(upbeat music)

(Francis laughing)

- [Kurt] Francis?

- Hurry up, get him in.

- [Tank] We got him.

- I'll send you the coordinates to the rendezvous.

To the rendezvous rende...

Could you have this burned, please?

Get my chopper to the helipad.

- See if I can get a charter, it's a little...

- Oh, just humor me.

(slow music)

(phone ringing)

- [Kurt] Oh, it's a good thing we found you.

You know these air feds are really something.

- You two just sit tight, all right?

- If you're good little boys

you just might get a popsicle.

- Now that you kidnapped us

on this damned ice cream truck,

where exactly are you taking us?

- Kidnapped?

- I need you to navigate.

I have absolutely no idea where we are.

- Sure.

- I hope you three kidnappers

taking us northbound on I15 through Maryland

towards Lancaster don't hurt us.

- Hey, I'm gonna need a pit stop.

- You really gonna do this, Tank?

- You shoulda stayed in your own lane, pal.

Boss is miffed, that ain't good for ya.

- Where exactly are you taking us?

- Shut up.

- What's up with you?

- The shelf above you.

The shelf, look.

- Yeah, why are you taking

the Maryland turnpike heading north?

Where are you taking us?

- You see?

I told you we should have took the 179.

Do you even know where we're going?

(suspenseful music)

- Okay, let's do this.

(suspenseful music)

- Listen to me very closely.

Brock and Teddy have been kidnapped.

Kidnapped by an evil group of ice cream men.

Sh sh sh, hold on a second.

(suspenseful music)

(coffee splashing)

(suspenseful music)

- Why is Malachi Pierce kidnapping us?

When Special Ops finds out about this

you are in a world of hurt.

They'll find us once somebody calls the authorities

and tells them we are in trouble.

- Special Ops?

I thought he was a rent-a-cop.

- I'd like to report a kidnapping.

- The hell is that?

- They're on the turnpike, just like he said.

This is tracking Brock's phone.

- Francis, Francis, where'd you get this rig?

- Say again.

- Who's RV is this?

- Isn't it mine?

- I say we track these fools down.

- Kurt would never let us do that.

Get Herta on the horn.

Tell her new man we're gonna need some backup.

- [Cashier] Change?

Ya dick.

(RV engine revving)

- Oh no, oh no, no, oh hell no.

Stop.

Stop.

God dammit.

(suspenseful music)

- Yeah, they're all snug.

- Nice, don't even try anything funny

or I'll finish you off myself.

- Yeah, good luck with that.

- Good luck with this.

(hand slapping)

- Special Ops, eh?

You a tough guy too?

- Untie me, try me out.

- We're so scared.

(hand slapping)

- What happened to you, Tank?

You were my brother.

You took an oath to fight the bad guys, not become one.

(fist banging)

- He said, shut up.

- Yeah, I sure did.

Until the Special Ops decided to dump me

for some young scrubs.

- Age had nothing to do with it.

They dumped you because you were a thief

and an asshole.

But you should have minded your own business.

- That is such an ironic statement

coming from someone who's about to die

because they could not stay in their lane.

Good evening, gentlemen.

I'm Malachi Pierce.

You know my associate, Mr. Jagger.

Welcome to an evening of excruciating torture.

- What's up?

- [Malachi] And I think you have been acquainted already

with Miss Sharp.

- Surprise.

- It's a shame to meet under such circumstances.

Can't imagine what this air is doing to our skin

let alone our lungs.

What that's called, that meso,

the thing, the meso thing we had.

We, we watch a little late night television together.

Those commercials they just,

too much information.

Personally I had hoped my stooges here

could have, could have done the job

in between rehearsals for Roadhouse The Musical

and then maybe we'd, we'd, we'd be somewhere.

Had you done your homework

you'd have known that my organization

isn't normally in the business of harming people.

(suspenseful music)

(fist banging)

- You're a friend.

You finish him off.

- I'm sorry, pal.

I guess for old time's sakes, huh?

(metal clanging)

(upbeat music)

- Norman.

- Grandma?

- What on god's green earth are you doing here?

- Geez, Atlantic City's dark as shit.

(metal clanging)

- And one for the dead.

(oxygen tank exploding)

- Hold tight Starskey, help's arrived.

Charge.

- Oh, Mitzi.

- I got ya.

(metal clanging)

- Yes, yes.

(upbeat music)

(wood banging)

- Okay, okay.

Love it.

Go, go, go.

- Who do you think you are carrying on like this?

Your mother's gonna be beside herself.

(metal clanging)

- Such a pretty girl.

You remind me of my younger sister.

And I hate my sister.

(metal clanging)

(fists banging)

♪ Running ♪

♪ Running and running ♪

(gun banging)

(fists banging)

- My butt.

You shot my butt?

(upbeat music)

(shoes stomping)

- Get 'em.

Get 'em.

Get 'em.

Get 'em, get 'em, get 'em.

(upbeat music)

- Belfrie, where you at?

We're here.

(slow music)

(upbeat music)

- Take a right.

- He's gonna make me kick his ass.

Slow him down.

(everyone chattering)

- Another word for spicy.

Enzo, 20 to 1.

- 20 to 1.

- My Philly Twirl.

(upbeat music)

(phone clicking)

- [Kirby] Oh look at that, guys on the left,

look on the left.

(upbeat music)

(ball rolling)

(machines dinging)

- International kidnapper, Malachi Pierce

was captured outside of Maryland this evening

by a very unlikely team of heroes.

(upbeat music)

A group of retirees on their way to Atlantic City

helped track and arrest the long time career criminal

and saved the rent-a-cop who was escorting them.

(everyone chattering)

It just goes to show you

that age is positively just a number.

(upbeat music)

- [Worker] Belfrie, a call at the front desk.

Brock Belfrie, please come to the front desk.

♪ A thousand times before ♪

♪ That if you love a little ♪

♪ Then you can hate a little ♪

♪ Then you can hate a little ♪

♪ Then you can hate a little ♪

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

♪ Yes, sir ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ Uh, I touch down, I touch down ♪

♪ When I touch down, when I touch down ♪

♪ Okay, I care less about your hood ♪

♪ And what click you're with ♪

♪ A hundred choker chains swag on foolishness ♪

♪ Skinny jeans on the king, that's ludacris ♪

♪ You might see me with my queen ♪

♪ Shorty's super thick ♪

♪ I'm so sin see I did it for the have nots ♪

♪ Stack and wrap money guess I gotta have not ♪

♪ Home city rooting for me like a mascot ♪

♪ Connecting like WiFi to a laptop ♪

♪ Flow super throw, ball like the super bowl ♪

♪ Your flow's weak, yeah people thinking you should know ♪

♪ I'm old school like them buy caprises ♪

♪ Treat my solo black and males ♪

♪ All your boy do is freak, hey ♪

♪ No time if your attitude ♪

♪ Cocked on tilt, catch me sliding through the city ♪

♪ Tell the truth, why you hating me ♪

♪ Being with your man ♪

♪ Falls it's a ring with the committee ♪

♪ Touch down, in your town all we do is ball ♪

♪ Touch down, in your town all we do is ball ♪

♪ Now show out, now show out, now show out ♪

♪ Now show out, now show out, now show out ♪

♪ Touchdown, in your town all we do is ball ♪

♪ Touchdown, in your town all we do is ball ♪

♪ Let's show out, let's show out, let's show out ♪

♪ Let's show out, let's show out, let's show out ♪

♪ The world says your butt's so sincere ♪

♪ Get my business right, player taking off this year ♪

♪ Somebody wipe me off, I gotta cool it down ♪

♪ 'Cause when it come to spitting bars ♪

♪ I don't fool around ♪

♪ I heard your little mix tape ♪

♪ Boy, you do that now ♪

♪ Waving pistols in your video ♪

♪ You a clown ♪

♪ I hit G sharp, bro I need the newest sound ♪

♪ Ground hold music boy, I'm too underground ♪

♪ It's that new wave, fresh like your new Jays ♪

♪ Mix it up, make a sweet straight koolaid ♪

♪ Touchdown, got them hands up now ♪

♪ Monday move when I move ♪

♪ Stacking grands up now ♪

♪ Song blast we deliver the classic ♪

♪ That's a brand, that's a wrap ♪

♪ Toss some rappers in caskets ♪

♪ Whatever song I'm a body that ♪

♪ When I'm in your city show me love ♪

♪ Where the party at ♪

♪ I just touched down ♪

♪ Touchdown, in your town all we do is ball ♪

♪ Touchdown, in your town all we do is ball ♪

♪ Let's show out, let's show out, let's show out ♪

♪ Let's show out, let's show out, let's show out ♪

♪ Touchdown, in your town all we do is ball ♪

♪ Touchdown, in your town all we do is ball ♪

♪ Let's show out, let's show out, let's show out ♪

♪ Let's show out, let's show out, let's show out ♪

♪ Hut one and a hut two and a hut three ♪

♪ Sincere coming through ♪

♪ Hut one and a hut two and a hut three ♪

♪ Sincere coming through ♪

♪ Hut one and a hut two and a hut three ♪

♪ Sincere coming through ♪

♪ Hut one and a hut two and a hut three ♪

♪ Sincere coming through ♪

♪ Touchdown, in your town all we do is ball ♪

♪ Touchdown, in your town all we do is ball ♪

♪ Let's show out, let's show out, let's show out ♪

♪ Let's show out, let's show out, let's show out ♪

♪ Touchdown, in your town all we do is ball ♪

♪ Touchdown, in your town all we do is ball ♪

♪ Let's show out, let's show out, let's show out ♪

♪ Let's show out, let's show out, let's show out ♪

- [Speaker] Everyday you build, you put blocks down.

You guys ever see a mansion?

A big, beautiful mansion?

You gotta build a foundation, man.

That's what we're doing here.

Understand that you gotta build the blocks.

(upbeat music)

(crickets chirping)

- Oh, oh, help me, help me.

Help me, god.

Oh, thank god.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I've been stranded and I've been walking

and walking and walking.

(motorcycle engines revving)

(Curt screaming)

(guns banging)