Original subtitles

- Hello, master! - Hi, Gennaro!

- Is this Pollena? - Yes.

Thank you.

- Sir, do you need a porter? -Yes.

- Watch out! - Sorry, but this suitcase is heavy!

Alright, alright.

You can find some means of transportation to get to town.

- Does any pass by? - Almost never. There you are.

I should give you a tip?

It's 100 liras for each piece, but this one is heavy, so you decide.

- Alright. Here. - Thank you very much.

Don Michele!

Don Michele, you let it leave?

Lucia, the train can't wait for you!

Alright. Tomorrow another one just like it will pass by.

Did you see? Big news today. A foreigner got off.

He's not a foreigner. He's Raffaele Renzullo, Donna Sabella's grandson.

Donna Sabella's grandson? He's grown so much!

Kid, what're you doing there? Leave the switch alone, you rascal!

Last time you sent the train on a dead track!

Lucia, Raffaele arrived. Did you see him?

- Yes. - Did he recognize you?

- I don't know. - Are you happy?

You've finished waiting. I wonder what he'll say when he sees you.

What if he doesn't recognize me?

- Many years have gone by. - Of course he will!

- Lucia, tell me about it later. - You're so curious!

Go on!

Darn! Did you have to open right now?

Hey, beautiful! Will you give me a ride?

- Go! Go! - Hey! I'm talking to you!

- Go on! - A lovely girl like you

makes me walk this uphill road?

- It'll work up your appetite. - You're very haughty!

- Don't get so friendly with me. - No need to get angry.

Maybe you believe that since you come from the city...

I left this place over 10 years ago, but I was born here.

- It's not true. You're a liar. - You want evidence?

Behind those trees, there's the institute.

After that, the town wash house.

- See? - You have a good memory.

- What else do you remember? - Isn't that Uncle Cola's vineyard?

I came often as a child to steal grapes!

- Did you come alone? - Yes.

No, I came with a little girl.

- What was her name? - I can't remember.

- Get off right now! - Why?

- The mule gets tired going uphill. - So do I!

- I said to get off! - Are you crazy?

No! Stop! My jacket!

Uncle Emilio, you know who arrived? Donna Sabella's grandson.

Really? If the old lady had her grandson come,

it means she's about to die!

- Garufaniello! - How is she?

- Bad, bad... - Good, good!

- Stamp! - Yes, Don Emilio?

I'm going to buy cigarettes. You be attentive, ok?

- Yes, sir! - Remember to be watch...

Watchful. And... to report.

- And if the old lady dies? - Bury her.

Inform me! Darn it!

Don't move and don't open.

Donna Carmelina, did you tell her I am waiting?

I did, but you know how my sister is.

She says that until she loses consciousness, you can't enter.

- Excuse me. - It's hot!

- My handsome Rafiluccio! - Aunt Carmelina!

My Rafiluccio!

It's been so long, my gosh! You're so grown up!

- How is Grandma? - Bad, bad.

Excuse me.

Sabella doesn't want to hear these funeral laments.

Sing a more cheerful one. Come. She keeps asking about you.

- When I read the telegram, I left. - But it took a long time.

Donna Carmelina, you're leaving me with this?

- I'm sorry. - I am going.

- These kids must eat. - No!

What if she dies?

First, the sacrament must be given, and then calmly...

A little patience... Come, Rafiluccio.

- Grandma! - Rafiluccio!

- Are you Raffaele? - Grandma!

What're you doing? Jesus, Joseph, Saint Ann and Mary!

Carmelina, mind your own business!

Finally! It took so long to see you again!

See what a handsome young man he's become?

My blessed boy. Blessed.

You want to kill yourself? You couldn't talk an hour ago.

I feel like a lion now. Do you mind?

Sit down, my Rafiluccio.

Sit down and tell me.

I've been crying for 3 days. I called the priest, too.

- What'll I tell him now? - That I don't want to die!

I want to live to be 100. Did you hear her?

As if I signed a promissory note with a deadline! I must die today.

Saint Raffaele performed a miracle. And I fooled all of them!

- Go! Go! Go! - How mortifying!

You fooled me, too. "Grandma seriously ill. Run."

We'll settle accounts later! I had to pretend I was dying, to see you!

You put on this big act to see me?

No. I had you come because I've a nice project for you.

- You came only because I was dying! - What project?

- Later, later. - Father Gregorio wants to rejoice.

Darn it!

Father Gregorio, go say the "De profundis" somewhere else.

We don't need your service anymore. Thank you.

Your grandma is impossible! And I give a bad impression!

For you to make a good impression, I was to go to the other world!

She's angry because along with that scarecrow who buzzes around her,

they were counting on my death.

Listen to how evil she is! I am hated in this house!

I can't stand it anymore!

Know what that silly girl wants? She wants to get married.

- Now? - Actually, it's been 20 years!

- Does it seem possible? - 20 years ago it was normal!

Normal, my foot! I can't entrust my little sister

to that loser who can't do a thing,

who has no money, but just an empty head.

Want to see him? Look at that nice piece of furniture!

Look at him here. Look at him.

He is spying on my death.

Look. That crow!

- Is she dead? - Not yet.

- When will she die? - You must be patient.

Darn it! She's made of steel!

- Father Gregorio! Father Gregorio! - Don't pull!

Peace be with her. Poor Sabella. Stamp!

The wreath!

You didn't understand. She feels better than you and me.

She feels better than you and me? But you sighed!

Because I put myself in your place, and that of Carmelina's.

Oh, God! What happens now?

Father Gregorio, let's hope Carmelina intercepts the wreath.

Let's hope so! Be patient, Don Emilio.

Patient? We've become the laughing stock of town.

Know what they call us? "The Betrothed".

Don Emilio, chastity extends youth. And then...

"Natura non facit saltus".

"Non facit sauce", but Nature has its limits, too.

- I delivered the wreath. - I'll kill you!

It should fall on your head!

Run, run, you scoundrel, you devil!

Scoundrel to who? My brother is too kind!

He should slap your face!

Grandma, who is the girl out front?

The niece of that stingy loser who wants to marry your aunt.

Look! He sends a wreath without even a rose! Miser!

- You took the wreath's flowers? - Yes.

Carmelina! Put them in water. I'll need them today.

I want to make a nice bouquet. Rafiluccio, sit down.

Eat. Studying withers you.

Who knows how hard you worked to obtain this degree!

Eat, my handsome Rafiluccio.

Grandma Sabella, why did you have me come? What's the project?

Raffaello, we must have a man to man talk.

You don't have a mother or a father,

and you must listen to me.

We don't have any money left here.

I can't support you in Naples anymore.

You want to bury me here?

Now listen to me. I had you come because the richest girl in town

has now become of age for marrying.

You'll marry attorney Mancuso's daughter.

With the dowry of that nitwit, we'll go to Rome.

I want to bathe in the Trevi Fountain.

To dive inside it, and bathe like a nymph.

Grandma Sabella, to have you bathe like a nymph,

you make me marry a nitwit I don't even know?

You'll meet her. Today, in fact.

Always secrets behind my back!

- These are not topics for ladies. - Tell her.

- She wants me to marry... - Mancuso's daughter.

- She doesn't want you! - Why?

- With the Mancuso arrogance... - They have arrogance,

but we have a degree. We are engineers!

Carmelina, pull out my cream colored dress and freshen it up.

- What dress? - The one I wore at your Confirmation.

- Why? You want to go out? - Yes. We'll go out together.

Rafiluccio will take a nice nap and at 5 we'll go to the social club.

Rafiluccio, I never went to Rome, not even on my honeymoon.

I'm from Garibaldi's time, and think the way he did.

Either Rome or death!

- Good-day. - Good-day.

- Sabella, my respects. - Doctor...

He's an incapable doctor.

- Good-day, Donna Sabella. - She's a famous matchmaker.

- Good-day. - She gossips and badmouths everyone.

Rafiluccio, say hello to Granddad.

A very uprighteous man.

- He had crooked legs. - Oh, no!

The townspeople were so stingy, they didn't have a horse made.

Know who she is? It's me. I posed for it.

I had the loveliest neckline of the province.

- Sabella! - They called me "Pollena Venus".

Look, Raffaele. The entire Mancuso family is coming.

Be on your best behavior.

There they are. Don Evaristo Mancuso,

the lost cases lawyer.

That sea cow is his second wife. She was a washer-woman in Bologna,

and now she wants to be called "Donna Clotilde". That's Evelina.

- I thought worse! - Lovely, huh?

Cultured, plays the piano. A born virgin!

Donna Sabella, you're here!

- Weren't you about to... - No, no.

- Who is the handsome young man? - My grandson.

My grandson Rafiluccio, engineer. He came from Naples this morning.

Good for him.

Donna Clotilde, accept these flowers.

Actually, these flowers were for me.

But I thought it was better to give them to you.

Thank you.

- Why are you laughing? - I imagined you to be different.

- Meaning? - Smaller.

- All skin and bones. - Yes, like a greyhound.

Oh, no! He is healthy and robust. He never even sneezes!

And what teeth! Show them your teeth.

- Look at how lovely! - Lovely! Lovely!

Evelina, go play something on the piano. Go on!

Go!

Excuse me.

What're you waiting for? Go, you dunce!

Excuse me.

What a lovely couple! Aren't they?

Yes, yes. Lovely.

- You really want me to play? - Of course!

I don't know if I can. My hands are cold. Feel.

Yours, instead, are warm and strong!

I don't know why, but my heart is thumping.

- Listen. - It's thumping!

Your heart is so round!

Evelina! Play, or come outside!

Excuse me.

- Play, play. - Yes.

- Hello. - Good-day.

Go ahead. We won't look.

Donna Concettina, a postcard arrived for you.

Thank you, Lucia.

Donna Valentina, your son wrote to you from America.

- Who will read it for me? - I can, if you want.

Please do me that favor. What does it say?

"Dear Mom, here in New York

I found lots of people who are offended with us because Valentino

didn't want to marry Mariuccia."

Lucia, speak more softly! Evelina is playing.

- Have her stop! - How rude!

"Martino set up a nice shop."

"Filomena is pregnant for the third time."

"She says if it's a girl, she'll name her after you."

"In a way, New York is like a little Pollena."

"We don't feel the heat because the skyscrapers create shade."

"Goodbye and kisses. Your son, Nicola."

Thank you, dear!

- Don Michele, your paper. - Thank you.

Lucia! Lucia!

- Good news for me, too? - No. I guess no one thinks of you.

- What bad manners! - Don't bother with her. Play.

No, don't ask me. Music extenuates me. I feel it too much.

- I can see that! - I vibrate all over, understand?

- I once fainted with Bach. - Awesome!

Yes, with Bach. I feel him here.

Evelina! What are you two doing? Play, or come out!

What's wrong with it? Darn!

Then, play. You know "Cajun Mambo"?

I'll play "A Virgin's Prayer". For you.

Thank you.

Let them get some distraction. They're young.

Evelina is not like many girls today. Her social level, her dowry...

Ma'am, at their age Nature has its needs.

- It makes no distinction. - I do!

Then you don't love her! It's evident you didn't give birth to her!

I consider her so much like my daughter that I'd never allow her

to forget the noble blood that flows through her veins.

And that on her dowry there's the family crest.

With or without the crest, linen is all washed in the same laundry.

- And you know that very well! - What do you mean?

I mean that, if Evelina remains a spinster,

she can slap her family crest here!

- Evaristo, I feel ill. - Take care of yourself.

Asthma is an ugly disease.

I had a lovely dog whose name was Bixio.

He had asthma as a puppy and died on the spot.

Right, Carmelina? What're you doing?

Carmelina, sit here!

Donna Sabella, your grandson has a good ear. You know that?

My grandson is a complete young man.

- Lucky the woman who marries him! - You must have many girls in Naples!

- But Dad! - "But Dad!"

No! He must find his bride here, in his home town.

Look how lovely Evelina is when she smiles!

- Soave, graceful... - Hurry, let's go home!

I don't feel well.

- We're going home. - Let's stay a bit longer.

Home! I don't feel well.

- You're just a little out of breath. - It's asthma.

- I'm getting a seizure. - Some other time, then.

- We'll meet here at the club. - Yes, yes, yes.

- See you tomorrow. - Tomorrow at 6 for the return game.

With a dummy again? Donna Sabella is good. Invite her.

- My wife will rip my eyes out! - Respected attorney,

my grandson wants to play with you. - The engineer plays Tresette?

- Grandma... - You are too modest!

- He is a Tresette champion. - I accept the challenge.

- Evaristo, come! - I'm coming!

- So, tomorrow at 6. - Of course.

I've never held cards in my hand.

Be quiet! That washer-woman closed the door in our face,

and you'll enter through the window!

You'll marry Evelina! I swear on Garibaldi.

Grandma has gone crazy. She wants me to marry that idiot.

Don't contradict her. Please her. They'll never give Evelina to you.

- Alright. - Carmelina!

I'm coming.

- Mr. Raffaele! - Huh?

Excuse me. I care for you. Very much.

Do me a favor... I'll tell you the reason later.

- Speak highly of me to your grandma. - Alright. Goodbye.

- Thank you, sir. - Rafiluccio!

Don't you hear your grandma calling? Obey!

Go on, obey!

- Goodbye. - Come on!

Hey! Watch out!

Garufaniello, shall I make it with long sleeves?

With long sleeves.

- With a mandarin collar? - With a mandarin collar.

- Carmelina! - Sabella!

- Don't go. - Sabella called me.

- Carmelina, don't go! - I must go!

- Don't go! - I'm obliged to go.

- When do declare "good game"? - When I have 3 Aces in my hand.

- Or? - Or...

- You'll make me cut myself! - Carmelina!

Did you prepare "mostaccioli" for attorney Mancuso?

- I'm going. - Or?

- Or... 3 Threes or 3 Twos. - Or?

A "Neapolitan", idiot!

- What do you do if you get a queen? - I knock.

- If there's no answer? - I knock again.

You animal! You must bring out a "Neapolitan"!

I won't go out with a Neapolitan girl.

What the heck are you saying?

You're being a Casanova now? You must not look at her!

She's not for you.

What do you do when you have an Ace and a Three?

- You're making me drunk! I won't go! - Tell me!

- I've never held cards in my hand! - How did you get your degree?

- Here are the "mostaccioli". - They're the cakes for the attorney.

Give them to him. The perfume for Evelina?

- It's on the dresser. - I'll go.

Carmelina, go get my shawl and bottle.

I must go to Uncle Cola's to get mineral water.

- Mineral water! - Why? Isn't it mineral water?

- Mineral water? - Mineral water? Why?

Did you find the bottle?

- Yes, Grandma. - Best wishes, Rafiluccio!

If you win, Mancuso will be the one to run after you.

Mr. Renzullo...

Come here. Excuse my forwardness...

- What is it, Don Emilio? - You surely know

about your Aunt Carmelina and me.

- Yes, you're engaged. - We've been so for 20 years!

You're a sensitive young man, and should read here.

- What should I read? - This is a diary where

I daily noted the story of my unhappy love.

- What've I to do with your affairs? - Oh, no!

You must know what feelings I have for your aunt.

I never had a bad thought about her. Believe me.

- I believe you. - Don't listen to ugly rumors.

- I've always respected her. - I don't doubt it.

But your Grandma does. She's done horrible things to me.

For example, know what happened on July 25, 1943?

- The fall of Fascism. - No, no.

Here! July 25, 1943.

Your old grandma found me innocently talking to Carmelina,

and shot me with a pellet gun.

- Did she hit you? - The pellets are still in my body!

- When I sit down, they hurt. - I'm sorry, but what can I do?

You can do everything! You're her favorite.

- Yes, but... - Speak highly of me to her.

- Persuade her. - You know her. Who can persuade her?

You! You! What would you do in my place? Huh?

Don Emilio, I don't know. I'm in a hurry.

Mr. Renzullo, don't run off!

I need help, Mr. Renzullo.

I need advice. What should I do?

Do something rash.

Have her face a "fait accompli". Behave like a man.

Behave like a man? "Fait accompli"?

I'd never thought of it! Thank you, Mr. Renzullo.

- I knew it! - How far away is Villa Mancuso?

It's on top of the town. I'll lend you my bicycle.

This is a lightning bolt!

Here. Give me the package. I'll put it on the rack.

Here! Here! Mr. Renzullo!

What're you doing? After the way they treated you,

you lend him your bicycle?

- Give it to me! Get off! - Your uncle lent it to me.

It's my bicycle, and I won't give it to you.

Mr. Renzullo must go all the way to the Mancuso home.

Oh! Miss Evelina Mancuso's home.

You can walk there!

Or I'll lend you my mule, so you'll make a good impression!

Give me the bicycle! Get off!

Mr. Renzullo, you shouldn't have...

Forget it! Grandma Sabella made them with her own hands.

- If Donna Clotilde likes them... - Look, Mom.

Thank you.

- These are cakes? - Yes, the typical "mostaccioli".

- Who does Donna Sabella think we are? - Mom, please!

- Donna Sabella has good teeth! - What is this? A liqueur?

No, it's eau de cologne for Miss Evelina.

Eau de cologne? Mr. Renzullo is so kind!

- There's a note. Is it a secret? - Of course not!

I don't want to interfere in things that aren't my business.

"Dear Don Vincenzo..." It's for you!

Donna Sabella sends me eau de cologne?

I don't think it's eau de cologne.

It says, "This is the water I made this morning on an empty stomach."

"See if there's still the sugar found in the last test."

I apologize. It's the wrong bottle.

- I assure you that... - This is unheard of!

It's yours, Don Vincenzo. Put it away.

Don't be upset, Mr. Renzullo. Come and play.

We'll turn to university science,

and slaughter these two losers.

- Do you declare anything? - I declare...

Don't waste time. Declare something!

- I have 3 Threes. - Bravo!

- A good player has great cards! - I also have 3 Aces.

- Wow! - This is called...

Father Gregorio! Don't get angry.

- You want a liqueur, attorney? - Thanks, I don't drink liqueurs.

You're so annoying! You have every virtue!

Right. Your suitor is a bore.

Did you see, instead, how likeable Raffaele is?

Evelina, what about us?

A liqueur is needed here to re-animate the adversaries.

- Centerbe or Certosino? - Certosino, please.

- Evelina made the Centerbe. - Centerbe, then.

This is a liqueur? Are we sure?

Don Vincenzo, please! I am drinking!

Please, gentlemen, serve yourselves.

Darn! This is an assault!

- It was my only good tooth! - I am so mortified.

Mariuccia, take this garbage away!

- These "mostaccioli" are stale. - Mom!

- Your tooth? - No, my tongue.

Come.

Gentlemen, shall we play?

- I'm sorry. - Mr. Renzullo, do me the favor

of playing your card! - Yes.

Italia! Italia! Cane and hat.

Here I am, Don Peppino.

Sit down, please! Dad, he is engineer Renzullo.

- Donna Sabella's grandson. - Pleased to meet you.

You're a truly handsome young man.

Father Gregorio has only one Ace. Play the Three of Hearts.

I'm going to get some mineral water.

Mr. Renzullo, time is passing! Play your card!

Watch out for the signs!

Damn it! Why didn't you play the Three? I knocked at 29!

- Dad, don't be rude to him. - Can't an engineer be

an idiot at Tresette? - Dad!

The family doctor with two degrees was lousy, and we kicked him out.

What about our dear mayor? Great politician, but at Tresette...

I'll grab this!

And he fell like a dummy!

Ok, I'll say it!

I must say it! I must say it!

Wait, Evaristo, don't say it! Attorney! Teresa!

- Evelina, let's go. - Great idea! Tresette

with women present, is torture. - Excuse me, Mr. Renzullo. Excuse me.

Will you sit down in your chair a minute, please?

So... there must be some other Clubs around.

Do you by chance still have Clubs in your hand?

Clubs? Of course. Why?

What? Why? Because unfortunately,

I am your cuckold partner!

Who's the son of a gun who put those cards in your hand?

Well, I had better go.

No! Now you stay here without moving, and be seated!

Wake up, Mr. Renzullo!

- Alright, but relax. - I am very relaxed!

Here I "call the best". I am "lead" in a game.

Do you understand? Wake up! Wake up!

- You sit down, too! - Oh, God!

Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

I excuse myself, and will go.

No! I am kicking you out! Go! Go!

Leave my home! Better to play with a dummy!

Lucia!

- What're you doing here? - Nothing. I was passing by...

- Do you need anything? - No, thank you.

It's Carmelina. Sorry if I don't accompany you.

Garufaniello...

What's the matter?

You're not what you used to be.

- You're agitated. - No.

Yes, you are. You're sweating.

- Yes, you're sweating. - No.

- You're sweating. - No, but if you want, I'll sweat.

- Did you change your undershirt? - No.

- Did you eat? - No.

You didn't eat! You must eat.

You are losing weight. You've lost at least 2 kilos.

I measure you with my eyes. You need substantial food.

Carmelina, you worry about silly things...

I must talk to you about something of capital importance.

- Capital importance. - I thought you said "captain".

- Not "captain"! - What is it? Don't scare me.

I want to say that...

Sabella must find herself facing a "fait accompli".

- Jesus! What do you want to do? - I want...

- I want... I want... - No! No!

- You must let me talk. - Yes.

- The time has come to get married. - Without her consent?

- Without her consent? - Yes, without her consent.

Without her consent...

And so?

What do you want from me? You say this out of the blue...

- Why don't we think it over? - We've thought for 20 years!

I thought about it. Now you do that.

Tomorrow you'll tell me yes or no. Otherwise...

- Otherwise? - Otherwise...

I will take back my freedom! There!

- Who is it? - It's me, Aunt Carmelina.

You scared me. I thought it was Sabella. I didn't hear you.

Rafiluccio, who knows what you think of me now.

- Don't worry, Auntie. - We're not doing anything wrong.

He is an honest young man.

- Did you hear everything? - I heard everything.

How awful! My gosh!

My gosh! How awful!

What should I do?

If I marry Don Emilio, Sabella will be left alone.

At her age, and used to not doing anything...

Who will take care of her?

Who will keep her company?

She needs to have a victim at home.

Otherwise, who will she let it out on?

How awful! How awful, Rafiluccio!

If I have Emilio wait any longer...

He is young, and will get tired...

He'll end up finding another woman.

Come on!

Come on!

Be quiet!

Sabella is coming back.

- Isn't he Granddad Mancuso? - Yes, yes.

- What are they doing together? - There's a story behind it...

They had... How do you say it? A "fert".

- A what? - A "fert".

- A flirt! - Yeah!

70-80 years ago. That senile man is still chasing her!

This is really the land of love!

I'm going to sleep. Grandma had better not see me. Goodnight.

Don't cry.

Donna Sabella, you made me drink to have me talk,

but a will is secret.

You've blown my brains up this big over the will.

- Let's talk about cheerful things. - Alright,

but you let it slip that you'll leave everything to the Church.

Your niece is of age to get married. Leave everything to her.

Donna Sabella, I'll make out my will on my deathbed.

Alright, but at your age,

that can happen any moment!

- Death is spiteful! - What? At my age?

- I'm two years younger than you. - What a liar!

- You were born in '74! - And you?

- Me? Who knows! - You are right.

One never asks a lady her age.

Excuse me.

- Peppino, take care. - Donna Sabella...

You won't let me up? We'll drink a glass of Rosolio together.

And we'll remember old times!

Peppino, the town is small,

and people are vicious. They talk.

Go!

Go, but...

"I leave half of my heart with you in going."

"Love does not allow the loved one not to love in return."

Peppino, don't wake up the sleeping lion! Go to sleep!

Danger number one... woman.

Enchantment number one... woman.

Donna Clotilde said that until she's alive,

your grandson will never set foot in her home.

You caused a lot of trouble with the Tresette, the "mostaccioli",

and the eau de cologne affair was the last drop!

That's history. Find a remedy. Or what matchmaker are you?

A remedy exists. Have the two young people lose their minds.

Don't worry about Rafiluccio. He does what I say.

Evelina must lose her mind and oblige her family to let her marry.

I told you. We need the young man's picture.

Carmelina, did you find the photograph?

I only found this.

This is Granddad at the Marsala landing.

So there's only this one of Raffaele.

Naked! Oh, no! Carmelina, don't look.

Alright.

If I can put it where I say, I swear he'll marry her.

I'll accompany you, Teresa.

This morning I am taking Evelina for sulfur baths. Goodbye.

- Take care. - Goodbye.

Sabella, do you think that even against her parents' will...

Carmelina! When a woman wants...

Did Rafiluccio go out? Did he go for a swim?

He left a long time ago!

Alright!

Teresa, I've those red spots on my neck again. You see them?

Don't worry. These baths are miraculous.

It must be because I got angry last night with Dad.

- I have a headache. - Because of the engineer?

He's such a well-mannered man...

Oh, God!

Teresa, what's in the water?

Some animal?

- More than that! - I'll scream!

- You want to cause a scandal? - Why? Who is it?

- It's engineer Renzullo. - Oh, God! What if he saw me?

No. He didn't see you.

My gosh! He looks like a dolphin!

- What's he doing? - He swims beautifully!

- May I look? - What's wrong with it?

What if he's undressed?

- Jesus! He's naked! - Miss, what a fuss!

These are modern times, and he certainly isn't ugly!

So handsome!

Handsome! Handsome! Lucky who will get him!

- Look at those muscles! - It flusters me.

Look. If you have the good fortune...

- What are you saying? - Who knows!

At least you know him well now, inside and outside!

Imagine your other suitor undressed as he is,

and make a comparison!

He's leaving. What a shame!

It's hot! I'm sweating all over.

Evelina, your headache is gone, huh?

It's gotten worse!

Are you sure he left? I am naked.

Don't worry. I'll go on the lookout.

Teresa!

Did you see what a great build Mr. Renzullo has?

He looks like an American actor!

Help me back here.

You've got cold hands! How long are you taking?

- All these little buttons! - Mr. Renzullo, are you crazy?

Don't get close and don't touch me. Don't look at me that way!

- What way? - In an ugly way!

You've given me goose bumps.

Your eyes are shining and filled with desire. Don't say no.

- No. - Oh, yes!

You have a wolf's eyes!

You are having bad thoughts!

What thoughts? The sun has gone to your head.

- Evelina! - Mom!

Mr. Renzullo, cover up! Put something on.

Donna Clotilde, don't go down! Be careful, it's slippery.

- Where is Evelina? - Over there.

Run, Mr. Renzullo!

- Who is that woman with her? - I don't know.

Evelina! Evelina! Who is that girl?

It's the game warden's daughter, Mom.

She was this tall last year!

She's in a developing phase.

- Right, Evelina? - Yes. Wow, it's hot!

- Thanks for the bicycle. - Thanks, my foot!

I wouldn't have lent it to you. Uncle Emilio always lends my things!

You've something against me?

You really don't like me. Since I arrived,

all you do is spite me. - Take that hand away!

Lucia...

"Pollena, May 16th".

I don't ever want to wash this hand again!

It's a date I'll always remember.

Stay away from me, or you'll really remember this day!

Why? You want to kiss me?

No. I'll throw another rock and break your head like last time!

- When? - What?

You still have a mark. Who gave you that scar?

- Did you do it? - Yes, I did it.

Then you're Cannolicchia!

Yes! I am Cannolicchia. You remembered. About time!

Jesus! I didn't recognize you.

We played often together as kids. So many years have gone by!

You've become an important person during these years.

You got a degree, you lived in Naples,

you had a lot of girlfriends. - Me? Never!

What? What about that Rosina who you almost married

because you'd gotten her into trouble?

- How do you know? - I'm a post office employee.

I read all the postcards you wrote to your grandmother.

I wrote those things in a letter!

Well... then I sealed it!

Oh! My compliments! You're a model postwoman.

- Did you read others? - Yes, I read them all.

- Do you mind? - Bravo! Bravo!

Do you realize you violated postal secrecy?

- What do I care? - You know what I'll do now?

I'll go to the police and make out a report.

But if you give me a kiss, I won't.

Have Evelina Mancuso give you a kiss.

- Since you're so intimate with her! - Lucia!

Help! Lucia, help!

Mr. Renzullo is trapped!

How did you end up here? Darn it!

- Did you hurt yourself? - No.

Thank goodness!

- What did you do? - My finger!

- Oh, God! Oh, God! - It needs to be cooled off...

Lucia!

The post office is empty. Mr. Renzullo is hurt.

- Do you need anything? - Later.

Mr. Renzullo, Mr. Renzullo... Do you care for me?

- Yes. - I care for you very much!

- Did you talk to Grandma? - Not yet.

You didn't get hurt, did you?

I told Carmelina about the "fait accompli"

as you suggested. Enough! We're not kids anymore.

- We must stop playing. - Don Emilio, the team is ready.

Right. Excuse me, Mr. Renzullo.

I took on the assignment of training the city soccer team.

We even have a new entry. A foreigner.

- What? - A foreigner, from Cassino.

I paid 700 liras for him. Now let's see what he's like.

Talk to Grandma. Do you care for me? Me, too. Very much.

You're so nice!

Good-day, Don Emilio.

- Are you ready, boys? - Yes, sir!

One dressed one way, one dressed another...

You look like Franceschiello's army!

Is he the foreigner?

We paid 700 liras for him. Admire him.

Turn around. Enough. You're disgusting.

Silence. Silence!

The bells are tolling for the dead!

What happened?

Did Donna Sabella die?

Praised be the Lord! The old woman died.

No grudge. Make the sign of the cross.

Rafiluccio, that's life!

Until yesterday, he was the one who followed me,

and now I'm the one following him. - He seemed in good shape.

- How old was he? - Very young. He was born in '74.

Excuse me, Rafiluccio.

Excuse me.

Good news, Donna Sabella.

Raffaele's photo isn't necessary.

Since she saw your grandson without clothes, Evelina no longer sleeps.

Good. Do we know how much Peppino Mancuso left, and to who?

We have to wait for the opening of the will.

Anyway, Evelina will swim in gold. You know how to swim?

Like a fish! "Requiem aeternam dona eis"...

Lucia, finally we're taking a walk together!

Don't get too close. Everyone is looking at us.

Now that her grandfather died, Evelina has become very rich.

What do I care?

- You've nothing to say? - "Requiem aeternam dona eis"...

- Is that all you have to say? - Does it seem like the right moment?

Yes, because I've waited 2 days for an answer.

Be a bit more patient. I can't make up my mind.

No, I won't wait anymore. Either decide to marry me,

even against your sister's will, or we'll end it. I'm tired.

Garufaniello, are you offended?

Yes.

"Merci".

You're in great shape, Miss Yvonne.

You look good too, Don Emilio.

- Nice funeral, huh? - "Oui".

Lovely. Lovely!

Look! Don Emilio is flirting with the lovely foreign lady.

Her husband, the colonel, had more horns than a basket of snails.

Evelina, come on...

- Thank you. Are you alone? - No, my grandson is here, too.

He was very upset, poor thing. There he is.

- Oh! I see! - Excuse me, dear.

Don't have me make a bad impression.

Give your condolences to Evelina. Go on!

- What'd you whisper to my grandson? - Nothing.

- Evelina, I've no words. - Huh?

- I've no words. - Thank you, Mr. Renzullo.

Thank you.

Careful. Careful.

Don Vincenzo, for the test.

- Did you remember? Empty stomach. - Yes, empty stomach.

You must be more careful with your calls.

- If I call Clubs... - You called Hearts.

He called Clubs!

This funeral is like a Tresette game with a dummy.

Give them, oh, Lord, eternal light.

Did you see Don Emilio? Poor Carmelina!

Evelina, I warn you for the last time...

I'd better not see you talking to Mr. Renzullo again!

- Understand? - But, Mom!

I won't repeat it!

Go on! Support her.

Be strong. We are all close to you.

Let everything out. It's good for you.

Be strong, be strong...

Thank you. I'll take care of her.

Lucia!

"C'est la vie".

Excuse me.

- Carmelina, what do you want? - Garufaniello...

Darn it!

- Darn it! - Garufaniello!

- Well? - If you still want...

- If I still want what? - I'll do the "fait accompli"!

- Carmelina, you'll do it? - Yes.

What do you want? Why do you keep following me?

- Why'd you run away like that? - It's my business!

- I know why you ran away. - Let's hear it.

You're in love with me, and didn't want to see me with Evelina.

I'd like to know who told you this nonsense!

Why did you open the letters I sent from Naples?

Well? I am in love with you! So what.

- So will you give me a kiss? - Go away! Don't get close!

Will you give me that kiss?

I don't want to think of you anymore. I pictured you in a way for years,

and now that you're back, I realize you're a stupid jerk!

- Lucia, want me to beg you? - Not even if you get on your knees!

Raffaele! Go away, or I'll throw this rock at your head!

Throw it!

Lucia, you must take a better aim!

- Ok, I will! - Ouch!

- Did I hit you? - Yes, you did. Look. Darn it!

- Did I hurt you? - No, you made me feel good!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Please, excuse me...

- It's nothing. Goodbye. - Take care.

You look like your granddad after the Aspromonte battle.

- They'll build you a monument, too! - You laugh? I have 3 stitches!

Buy a hat, or what'll you tell your grandma?

- Have we made peace? - Yes.

- So can I give you a kiss? - As you wish.

- See the rocks here? - Don't you see that I like you?

- Really? Since when? - Here. Since May 16th.

- The stamp speaks clearly. - Listen!

Since this hand already has a stamp, go ahead and send it

to Evelina Mancuso! - Again? I don't care about her!

Too bad for you. She has money.

And has to find an idiot who marries her!

Goodbye, Raffaele.

- Bye, Lucia. - Bye!

Thank you for everything!

Carmelina, I'll get some mineral water for tonight.

If someone knocks, don't open and don't look out.

When Rafiluccio's wakes up, give him dinner. Understand?

- Aunt Carmelina? - Who is it?

- Are you ready? - Yes, yes.

Stamp, see if Sabella went out.

- Take a good look. My jacket! - You're wearing it.

You stay here, so we won't create confusion.

- My glasses! - You're wearing them.

- Be brave and go for it. - Brave! Brave!

May God bless you, and Holy Mary accompany you!

- Amen! Lucia, I'm going. - I want to come with you.

- You want to come with me. - Take her.

- My hat! - Here it is.

Here it is. Stamp... well?

- Here she is. - Here she is!

In the mountains and at the sea,

it is wonderful to love.

Hurry! They're waiting downstairs.

What? I'm not ready yet.

- How can I go out like this? - Come on! Wear this.

You want Grandma to return and find you here? Let's go!

- My gloves! - Go on! Go on!

Hurry!

- The light! - Aunt Carmelina!

Auntie!

Here I come!

Garufaniello, not even an orange blossom?

- What are these? - They're fake.

- They look real! - And the music?

- You'd promised violins. - Music...

- Thank you, Lucia. - They're not orange blossoms.

They're carnations. They're flowers, just the same!

- Thank you. - Thank you, Mr. Renzullo.

Thank you for all you've done for us.

- I don't deserve it. - No, you do.

If you hadn't been here to give us this push...

Now kneel.

Not you. The newlyweds.

Not there! Here.

- The best men? - Mr. Renzullo is my best man.

The bride's best man?

- But... - Oh!

- You come down. - When will I finish painting?

You'll paint later. Let's hurry!

Alright.

He's coming down.

Are we sure Grandma Sabella will remain at the tavern?

Stamp, go see.

You're already leaving? You're not playing Tresette?

I've other things on my mind. I want to go to church

and talk to Saint Nicola. - Good night.

Do you, Mescogliano Emilio, take Renzullo Carmelina as your wife?

- It's been 20 years, Father! - Say "yes".

- Of course! - You must say "yes"!

Yes, yes. Yes!

Yes!

Do you, Renzullo Carmelina,

take Mescogliano Emilio as your husband?

The old lady is coming!

Donna Sabella!

- Sabella! - What is it?

Finally! I looked all over the town for you.

- What happened? - Come. The whole Mancuso family

is waiting for you at the social club. They said, "Ask dear Donna Sabella

to honor us with her presence." Something big is going on!

Saint Nicola answered my prayer. Thank you, Saint Nicola!

The coast is clear! The old lady went away!

Do you, Renzullo Carmelina, take Mescogliano Emilio as your husband?

- Yes. - Thank goodness! The rings.

- Huh? - What?

- What did he say? - I didn't understand.

- The rings. - Oh! The rings!

Stamp, the rings. Where're you going? They're in your pocket!

Give them to me.

Excuse me.

I unite you in matrimony,

in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

- Be seated. - Should we sit down? Thank you.

And now, marriage rights and duties.

"Article 143."

"Marriage imposes on the couple

the mutual obligation of living together,

of faithfulness,

and assistance."

My dear faithful, and dear newlyweds,

in this hour of happiness, in a festivity of lights,

of flowers, of celestial songs...

Actually, it was a simple ceremony...

but the celebration is in the heart!

My dear Carmelina, my dear Emilio,

the best wish I can give

is that of loving each other

as you've loved each other until today.

You are young, and have a whole life ahead of you.

Actually, I'd prepared these words for you

when you were their age.

But they are fine today, too.

Be happy. May God bless you.

- You like it? - It's lovely!

You like it?

He's a childhood friend.

He's the third clarinet at the Campobasso municipal theater.

- If there had been two... - It's lovely just the same.

- Garufaniello... - Yes?

I feel something rising here.

Me too.

Bye, Antoniuccio.

Thank you.

Now tell me clearly the reason for being so nice.

Donna Sabella, you must excuse me,

but we've always treated you with respect.

Teresa, they think they can make a fool of me!

Donna Sabella! Want to know the truth?

That imbecile father of mine, bless his soul, may God forgive him,

left everything to Evelina,

on the condition that she marry your grandson Raffaele.

Bravo, Peppino! Thank you. You kept your word.

Giovanni! I don't like this ice-cream.

Bring a pistachio one with "maraschino".

You convinced him, and that imbecile fell for it!

You were accomplices.

Excuse me, one question.

If I don't accept this wedding, who gets the inheritance?

Father Gregorio, for his parish.

Oh! Father Gregorio...

No, Garufaniello, I can't come to your home.

I am embarrassed with all those people.

How can you think of returning to your home, and me, to mine?

Why did we get married? Come on!

What if Sabella doesn't find me?

- Then I'll come sleep in your home. - Are you crazy?

Did you know that matrimony imposes living together?

- Do you hear? The priest said it. - No! I care for you.

I care for you, but let's postpone till tomorrow.

What a character! It's true that flaws show up after the wedding.

I...

- Good evening, Donna Carmelina. - Good night, Don Emilio.

- Good night. - Good night.

We just got married and still behave like two strangers!

- This marriage is disgusting! - No!

I'll go upstairs now, wait for the old lady and tell her everything.

- And she'll die. - We'll finally get rid of her!

- Go on! Go on! - No! No!

This song is lovely, isn't it?

I heard it often in the evening when I was a boy.

I thought, "When I grow up, I want to sing it to my loved one."

Know what it says?

"Please, my love, go away."

"I don't want you to lose sleep over me."

"I loved you for days, months and years."

Raffaele, couldn't you have stayed where you were?

Instead of coming and ending my peace of mind?

You speak as if I didn't care for you.

I know how it will end up.

You'll return to Naples. One morning, the train will whistle...

"Write to me. I'll write." And farewell.

No. I'm staying here with you.

Yes, with me and your grandma!

I don't want to end up like your Aunt Carmelina.

Love made up of sign language, secret words, an unhappy life.

Don't worry. It won't be like that. I promise.

Do you want to marry me, Lucia?

Yes.

Garufaniello! Sabella is returning. You want to hide?

Oh, God! A man in my home. With his back to me.

Turn around. Turn again.

Both of you turn around!

You, dressed in white. What is it?

- Communion? Baptism? Confirmation? - No!

- We had come... - Speak up! Speak up!

- We had come... - That is my voice.

We had come to tell you... Carmelina and I...

You and Carmelina?

Wait a moment.

You're in trouble, Don Emilio. Excuse me, General.

Sabella, what're you doing?

- Donna Sabella... - Holy Mary!

Here I am. Continue.

Donna Sabella, Carmelina and I... You continue.

- No, you'd better continue. - No, you continue.

- No, you say it. - Donna Sabella, Carmelina and I...

have married of thinking...

No... have thought of getting married.

I am here to ask for her hand.

No violence! You know I still have the pellets inside me.

Viper! Viper! Cuckold!

- Don't call me that! - I'll never give my consent.

- Let go the barrel or I'll shoot! - Don't shoot!

- Go! Go! - Garufaniello, run!

- Here he is! - Am I mistaken,

or your answer is "no"? - Yes!

- Yes? - No!

Just think. I didn't even want to come back here!

- I remember this town as being ugly. - And now?

Now it seems beautiful!

And I think it's because I am happy.

- Do you love me, Lucia? - You even ask?

- Donna Sabella is shrewd! - She finally made it!

Her silly grandson will marry a huge wealth!

Evelina Mancuso's dowry amounts to a few million lire.

- Are you sure they'll marry? - Of course!

A half hour ago, the families were sitting next to us.

They made a pact and even set the wedding date.

- You're a great actor! - Wait, Lucia! I'll explain.

- Go away, traitor! - Open! Open, Lucia!

You must formally commit yourself to having no rights over my sister.

And you must no longer jeopardize her reputation. Swear it!

I swear.

- Sabella... - Sit!

Swear you'll no longer have clandestine talks,

no longer toss hidden notes among balls of bread,

no longer using sign language from the window,

no longer make me hear that obnoxious whistle

that has busted my soul for 20 years!

- Swear! - I swear!

You are a real worm!

Finally I've finished him off!

Go!

Go!

Go, you crazy man's hat!

Take off the white dress, and put on mourning clothes. That's done, too.

- Don Emilio! - Mr. Renzullo!

- What was that blow? - Your grandmother shot me again.

- She won't give Carmelina's hand. - Didn't you marry her tonight?

Yes, but I didn't have the courage to tell her.

- Help me! You're so handsome! - Stop kissing me!

Don Emilio, I will help you if you help me.

- What do you need? - You must tell your niece

that I love her and will marry her, even against my grandmother’s will.

- Jesus! Lucia? - Yes!

- You and Lucia? - Yes, Lucia and I.

- You'll go against the old lady? - Let me come to your home.

I know what to do. I'll have all hell break lose tonight!

- Did you shut off the gas? - Yes, I did.

- Did you make Raffaele's dinner? - Yes, I did.

That's Rafiluccio.

- Auntie, open the full door. - Jesus! Raffaele!

- Yes, yes. Come on! Come on! - Wait...

Let me remove the horns. Raffaele, what happened?

What are these mattresses? Tell me, Raffaele. Tell me!

- What is this invasion? - Watch out for your feet.

Who are these shirt-sleeved men? Soldiers? Refugees? Gypsies?

- Excuse me. - Oh!

- You again? You've risen again? - Yes, I have!

- What are these sheets? - They're sheets.

- And these pillows? - They're pillows.

This is trespassing! I will report you to the police.

- Raffaele, you've left me alone! - Come, Uncle Emilio.

I'll send you to jail!

- To jail! - I'm going with Raffaele.

I'll send you to forced labor. In jail!

This is your wedding room.

Tomorrow we'll fix it better. I'll sleep in the living room tonight

Rafiluccio, I demand an explanation.

- This is our love nest. - Love nest?

- What do you mean? - Raffaele will explain it.

As of tonight, Don Emilio is sleeping here with Aunt Carmelina.

Are you crazy? You want to dishonor my home?

Grandma, Don Emilio... Actually Uncle Emilio and Aunt Carmelina

got married this evening with full sacraments.

- Without my knowing about it? - Without your knowing.

- This evening? - This evening!

- Did she shoot me? - No, I closed the door.

Call the priest. Tell him to bring the ointment.

I want to die in the grace of the Lord.

Jesus! What did we do? She will die now.

- No! - Aunt Carmelina...

- She'll survive tonight. - She won't die?

No! You'll call the priest tomorrow. Now go to sleep.

- Shall we go to sleep? - Shall we go to sleep?

- We are married! - Oh, right!

Let's go to sleep.

Raffaele... the rifle...

You don't have to worry now. Congratulations.

- Good night. - Congratulations, Aunt Carmelina.

Rafiluccio...

Thank you for everything.

Thank you.

Worm!

Coward! Chicken! Weakling!

See that you were wrong? Grandma does what I say.

- What's she doing now? - Sleeping.

- Will you promise me something? - What, Raffaele?

That you'll be nice to Grandma when we're married.

She's a good woman. She looks like a devil, but has a sweet heart.

She raised me, and was like a mother to me.

Will you promise to be nice to her?

I promise I'll care for her, if you swear to always care for me.

Lucia! We'll go to town hall tomorrow morning

and fill out the papers, so that in 15 days we'll get married.

Bye, Lucia. Good night.

Good night, Raffaele.

Father Gregorio, I think this is it.

- My time has come. - Donna Sabella, what're you saying?

I've never seen you looking so colorful.

- What is it? - I want to tell you my last wishes.

Excuse me, Sabella, Garufaniello is calling me.

Did you see, Carmelina? You've become his slave!

She's dying!

Tell me. I'm listening.

- Garufaniello, did you call me? - You forgot something.

- What? - Blueberry jam.

- You're right. How stupid! - Alright...

- Forgive me. - You're forgiven. Carmelina.

- Yes? - Listen, Carmelina...

Again? Sabella is dying.

Later, then.

You're in bed? You were feeling well last night!

- You ate like a lion. - Softly. She is ill.

- I had come to... - No.

- Then I'll pass by later. - Stay. We'll talk now.

Donna Sabella, I know you! Did you change your mind?

Attorney! Don't tire her.

On my death bed, the Lord illuminated me.

I thought about it, and I'm saying that I don't give a darn

about Evelina and her dowry! - You don't give a darn? So...

- Attorney, please! - Let me speak!

We belong to an honored lineage of professionals and patriots.

- What's that got to do with it? - We can't become related

to petty people like you!

You know what my father's will says!

If the two young people don't marry, Father Gregorio will get everything.

This is my last desire.

I want to crown my life with a Christian gesture.

- Crown it with your own money! - Attorney!

- She's talking on her death bed. - Donna Sabella!

You know I'm a lawyer.

As of this moment, after 20 years, I will start exercising again.

The machine is again moving. Tomorrow morning I'll go to Naples,

talk to some colleagues, and maybe you'll repent!

Donna Sabella, take care!

Father Gregorio, this is done, too!

Donna Sabella, you're a saint!

Remember, with a part of the money you'll spend on charity,

you must pay for Rafiluccio and Lucia's honeymoon.

- But... - You promised!

Alright!

Did you think it over carefully? You won't regret living here?

Me? Look at the sun!

- Feel the air! - Have you finished chatting?

Shall we have this train leave?

Sure. Have it leave.

- Take care. - Goodbye.

- Bye. - Write.

- Goodbye. - Don't have us worry.

- Bye. - Bye, Auntie!

- Thank you. Take care. - Goodbye!

Bye.

Too bad we left without making peace with Grandma.

She has a hard head. She decided not to talk to us, and she won't.

Maybe she'll change her mind when we get back!

Stop, monster!

- Are you crazy? - Be quiet, black man!

What you did is against the rules!

- I don't give a darn! Help me up. - Grandma!

- Rafiluccio! - Come.

Garufaniello, Sabella is leaving.

Let her leave! Let her leave!

- Are you Renzullo Sabella? - No, she's my sister. Why?

There's a warrant of arrest here for attempted murder,

and illegal guns permit. - Jesus! I forgot

to withdraw the charges! - Garufaniello!

- We'll have a threesome honeymoon? - Of course!

We'll go on your honeymoon together! Bye, Pollena. Rome is waiting for me!

Rome or death!