Original subtitles

LOVE ME

Do you think it's going to be you and me?

When is your dad coming home?

I'm talking about eternal love here.

I don't even know what you mean?

Do you think we'll spend our lives together?

Of course!

Have you seen American Psycho? What if he's like that?

Beneath the handsome, well-groomed exterior lurks a maniac.

-Stop it! Where are you? -I'm spying on him.

OK... Who's the psycho here?

Damn! There's some girl flirting with him.

I wonder if they know each other. You should see the way...

You know what? I'm not doing this. I haven't promised him anything.

Fuck! He spotted me. Damn, he's cute!

-I'd better go in. -Clara, wait!

Don't speak your mind. Don't ruin this.

I hear you. - Hi!

I'm coming in.

This way? Yes. Fuck, fuck, fuck...

-Hi. -Hi, nice to see you...

-Sober? -That too.

-And nice to see you here. -Indeed.

I'm no longer crawling around in my own vomit.

-Precisely. -Thanks.

-Are you ready to order? -We're both ready to order.

I'll have the spaghetti Bolognese.

I'll have the omelet with a salad instead of French fries.

-What would you like to drink? -What do we want to drink?

Do you want to share a... What are you having?

-Mineral water is fine for me. -The same for me.

-Yes. -Thanks.

OK. Where were we?

We were talking about you getting drunk all the time.

-Am I ever going to live that down? -That's up to you.

-It doesn't happen every weekend. -I know. I was joking.

Good.

Well...

-So we're on a date. -Yep.

-How do we do this anyway? -Don't ask me. I have no idea.

Well, I think one starts by getting to know one another.

OK. How many kids would you like to have?

Whoa! OK. Maybe not quite so fast.

Eh...

I don't know, but I see what you mean.

Take my friends, for instance. They're on Tinder-

-looking for potential fathers for their unborn children.

They're panicking. They really are.

There's a desperation to it, the whole baby thing.

But I think it's nice to make time for... Oh, I don't know.

-A few drinks? -Exactly.

-Relax, rewind. -Precisely.

-Back to where you were. -Or at least talk first...

...before you broach the subject. But...

-Do you like kids? -You just broached the subject.

I'm for kids. Not all kids, but...

-There are kids that are... -Ugly.

They are!

I know it's wrong to say that, but...

...one of my friends just had a baby. The ugliest baby you've ever seen.

I can't look at him. I called around. She asked me to hold...

I have to take this. - Hello, yeah...

Oh my God!

Yeah... Mm.

-When is he coming home? -Who?

-Your dad. -Why do you ask?

Because it's my birthday next weekend.

I was thinking maybe we could have the party here.

-You've got really small wrists. -Aron?

-I heard what you said. -Maybe we could have it here.

-Look, your wrist with one hand. -Are you listening to me?

Well, I...

I'm not sure if it's the right time for a party.

-OK. -Well, my mom just died...

...and dad is the way he is. And there's my neck.

OK, I understand.

You know I want us to celebrate your birthday.

I was thinking we could have a casual celebration, just you and me.

Mm. Sure.

-Where are you going? -To the bathroom.

Maybe it's not the right time for that either.

Honey...

Of course we'll celebrate your birthday.

Maybe just not a massive party.

-Really? -If that's what you want.

-I was thinking it would be fun. -Yeah.

-We're having a party. -Yay!

-What would you like? -A really expensive bag.

-Anything else? -Eternal love.

I think I can fix that.

I love you.

Thank you for visiting our couples massage.

-Namaste. -Excuse me...

-Yes. -My bag?

-Yes. -Yes, where is it?

-In your room. -No, I brought it with me here.

-Yes... -Yes.

-And now it's not here. -We brought it back to your room.

-No, why? -It's included, don't worry.

-You don't have to tip us. -That's good to know...

-...but my clothes are in the bag. -There is a bathrobe.

-That one? -Yes.

-It looks small. -One size fits all. Namaste.

Namaste. Well...

Shit!

-Nice view. -Hi, it's you!

I dropped my card. I'm staying here.

Well, not here. In there...in the room.

We're right beside each other. How nice!

-Anita. -Sten.

It's not mine. "One size fits all", they said.

-A little on the short side. -Yes, I agree.

-I hope you get a refund. -I didn't buy it.

-They gave it to me at the spa. -Yes, I know!

Ah, yes...

-Have you had a spa treatment? -Yes, couples massage...

-...but there was just me. -Lovely!

I'm having one of those facial treatments later today.

It's what you do in a place like this.

Yes. We've booked... I mean, I've booked a facial for tomorrow.

I'll knock on your door later and let you know if it was worth having.

Yes, do that. We'll see if I'm in then.

-It was nice meeting you. -Yes, likewise. Bye.

-Not for me, thanks. -You need a new profile picture...

...because the one you have doesn't resemble you.

-What did he say to that? -I don't remember.

I deleted him immediately.

I'm trying to remember what he looked like. I can't.

-A complete blank. -You're being a bit hard on him.

It's not easy to pick a profile picture.

Because you have so many nice ones to choose from?

-Not too cute. -I don't have any of those.

-Nor too ugly. -I've got a few of those.

Funny pics are not sexy.

-It's not easy. -It's quite difficult actually.

-I've never been out there. -On the Internet?

Precisely. "On the Internet", what's that?

-I meant a dating site. -Good. Don't do it!

It's all about appearances.

The whole world is preoccupied with how they look.

That's what it's all about now, posting pretty pictures.

Looking good drinking coffee, walking the dog, at work...

What if I posted pictures of myself alongside a post-birth vagina?

Here I am looking pretty, stitching it up. How sick would that be?

Don't you agree? This new generation has really lost the plot.

Podders, bloggers, streamers, influencers...

...it's all about appearances. And here we are.

I'm a senior physician, and you?

I'm a model.

-Are you serious? -Mm.

-Really? -Yes.

It's not that you aren't handsome. You look great.

-Thanks. -But... A model?

-Do you have another job besides? -No, I wouldn't have the time.

Well, how about that!

A model! "The check please, got to run."

-How would you rate his looks, 1-10? -Does it matter?

-I think it does. -What's the problem here, Clara?

The problem is, he's a 35-year-old model.

Everyone I know would give an arm to get laid by a 35-year-old model.

You're talking about men now.

You would give both arms to get laid by a Paradise Hotel contestant.

I'm talking about a possible future relationship.

Who wants to live with someone who won't eat French fries?

He has to think of his body. His body is his profession.

-Oh, for Christ's sake! -But you think he's cute.

You won't let that go! Yes, I think he's cute.

-He's a model. Of course he's cute. -I know he's a model!

-Is he funny? -Yeah.

-He doesn't seem dumb? -No, not so far.

-He's kind. -Well, I don't know...

You were shit-faced. He drove you to the hospital.

Then he drove you, your brother and his girlfriend home.

He kissed you, even though he watched you puke earlier.

-When you retell it like that... -He wants to see you again.

-That's what I mean, he's not normal! -Clara!

You've been waiting for someone like him.

He seems too good to be true. He's certainly too good for you.

-That's what I'm afraid of. -Fear not!

I'm serious. If you don't want to see him again then tell him straight up.

You don't walk out on a date. How old are you anyway, 26?

You made him sad. He's a sad model.

-I don't think he noticed. -And what was your brilliant excuse?

-I blamed you. -You're so damn mean!

Why is everyone on the model's side?

Don't mess this up, Clara.

What? Don't look at me. You know whose side I'm on.

-Damn it! It's him. -Answer it!

-Answer the model when he calls! -Fuck! I hung up on him.

-She hung up. -Why did you do that?

-I don't know! -He's definitely a sad model now.

Oh my God! Could you please give me a break!

A lose-lose situation. Cute, sad and sexy-

-but he won't be coming here. Insanity at its finest!

-Hi. -Hi.

Do you think I look younger?

Well...

The beautician said it knocks off 7 years.

Yes, now that you mention it I can see that it does.

She also said, "it fits all", so you can try it tomorrow.

Well, I've got a couples package so I can knock off 14 years.

-You look nice. -Me?

-Yes, the suit and... -Oh, this old...

If you don't mind waiting I can dress up-

-and we can have dinner together.

Maybe you'd prefer to dine alone.

No... Go ahead. Get dressed.

I'll wait for you in the restaurant.

-OK, see you then. Bye. -Bye.

-Sir, are you ready to order? -No, I'm waiting for somebody.

-Ah, your wife. -No...

Of course, my mistake.

Hi there!

-Hi. -Am I late?

-No. -Good.

Here you are with an empty glass.

Oh, this is nice. It beats dining alone.

-Yes, indeed. -OK. What do you like?

-Riesling, Chardonnay? -I don't mind.

Surely you have one that you prefer.

-Red. -OK.

-Red it is. -Excuse me!

So... Who are you?

-My name is Sten. -Yes, I know that.

Tell me about yourself. I want to know everything.

I don't know where to begin.

Start at the beginning. We've got all evening.

-The beautiful wife has arrived. -No...

Excuse me, we would like a bottle of red wine.

Red wine, of course madam.

Red wine. You may like it, sir. We have an exquisite one.

Just one second.

"We have an exquisite one."

Have I done something wrong?

Elsa would like these, don't you think?

When I have a full-time job maybe.

Picasso once said he'd like to live like a poor man with lots of money.

I like that. I mean, it's not about the money as such.

It's what you can buy with it that makes the difference, right?

How can a fucking bag cost 8 000 SEK? Crazy!

And it's completely empty.

So, if there was 8 000 in it it would be worth it?

No, I just think it's a ridiculous price for a leather shell.

It's madness. This is making me hungry. Let's eat.

-You said she was worth everything. -She is.

Everything under 500 SEK. There's got to be a limit. Let's go.

-Do I have to? -What if she makes a habit of this?

-Next year, she'll want a car. -This could get out of hand.

I need to find something really nice and really cheap.

-I want to make her happy. -How about this?

Isn't this what your relationship is all about?

-There's more to it than that. -Really?

Really. Why do you always do that?

-What? -You rolled your eyes, why?

-No, I didn't. -Yes, you did. Why?

-I didn't. -You can't see yourself.

-This is what you do... -I just stretched a little.

-Stretched a little?! -Yes. Cut it out!

If you don't think that Elsa is the one, then say it.

-Say it! -No, I don't think she's the one.

Don't be cross, you made me say it.

I don't know why I bother. You don't believe in love.

-Of course I do. -You never have done.

I'm sure she's your first great love. I'm sure that you're in love-

-but I can't see you two together in 50 years' time.

I think you've got some living to do.

It may look like our relationship is purely sexual.

Well, actually, it happens to be deep and multi-faceted.

-You're right, I'm wrong. -We can talk about everything.

Do you know what else she wanted for her birthday?

Eternal love. Doesn't that say it all?

What are we doing here then? Give her that. It's cheap.

I know how girls work.

If I give her a card: "Me & You Forever"-

-she'll say: "Great! But where's my real present?"

-Female ambivalence solved. -Now I know what I'll do...

...come with me!

I often travel alone. I see it as research.

-Research? -For a book.

-Are you writing a book? -No...

...but should I ever decide to write a book-

-I've travelled a lot, I've met a lot of people.

I collect stories because they're good to have.

-Congratulations on 40 years! -No, thank you.

-No? Sure. -And your beautiful wife.

My wife is dead. This is not my wife.

I'm his mistress.

I would love a glass of champagne. I'll have his too.

Of course, madam.

He thinks you're my wife. I apologize.

You don't have to apologize because I get to drink bubbly.

-Cheers! -Cheers!

You know...

...if we take our blinkers off and look around us-

-we can discover fantastic stories in every single moment.

Take Bengt and Agneta, for example.

Who?

This trip is a Christmas present from their children.

They hate each other, but they didn't have the guts to cancel it-

-now that their children finally gave them a gift.

Or Kajsa and Maggan behind me...

They've known each other since they both worked in the bank.

They don't see each other very often-

-but they go on vacation together every year.

Last year they were in Prague on an art museum vacation.

This year they chose a luxury sun holiday.

You try it now.

-No, I... -Go on, try it.

No, I'm not very good at that kind of thing.

But you can give it a try.

Sture, 65 years old. Over in the corner.

He...

His wife was in an accident.

And...

She lost an arm.

As a result of the accident she lost her zest for life.

It's as if she - his wife...

It's as if she stopped believing in love...

...in life.

If he could swap places with her he would.

But he can't.

He wishes with all his heart-

-that he could get her to see the light again.

That he could get her to laugh...

...that she could be her old self again.

But he can't.

Maybe he could have done things differently-

-but he doesn't know what.

Here she comes - his wife.

She has a prosthesis. It's impossible to spot.

It was very well fitted-

-by a doctor from Peru, of all places.

They flew here from Peru-

-to celebrate this unbelievably realistic prosthesis.

He did all of this just to see her happy again...

...if only for a day.

-Oh, I'm not very good at this. -I think you did very well.

You've got a book there.

-Why did I have that pizza? -You're disgusting.

-Why did you let me eat it? -Hi.

Hi! What are you doing here?

I'm here with my wife. She's about to give birth.

-I tried to reach you. -I can't hear you.

I tried to reach you.

-I know. -A thousand times.

I've been working...an awful lot. Doctors tend to do that.

Maybe models do too, but...

-Is that the problem? -What?

No, I just...

-Everything alright? -Everything's fine here.

-How are you? -I'm good.

-That's great. -Could we talk for a minute?

Eh...sure.

On the same side of this window, if possible.

-I'll be right out. -Thanks.

-Hi. -Hi.

Hi.

-Coffee? -Yes, please.

-Do you take milk? -Black, please.

Just as well. This thing ran out of milk a week ago.

-So this is where I work. -Nice.

Thanks.

Do you think that our date ended strangely?

-Strangely, in what way? -In every way.

-No... How do you mean? -You don't think so?

-No. I had things to do. I had to go. -Things to do?

"Enjoying a glass of wine with good friends."

I didn't know you were on Instagram.

Do you have a problem with me being a model?

No, not at all. That's an odd question.

I think it's really strange... It's the first time in years-

-that I meet someone I like and feel something for.

Me and you have something, right? Well, don't we?

If you don't think we have then say it now...

-...so that I can let this go. -Clara?

-We've got a bleed in room 5. -Yes...

I need to attend to a patient. See you.

-Christ, he's cute! -How bad can this pain get?

-Pretty bad. -You're doing good. Keep it up!

-He loves you. -Is he a bit too pushy?

-He's so damn cute! -Yes, but is he a bit too pushy?

-You're happy he came here. -He follows me on Instagram.

If you don't want him then let someone else have him.

-The bleed? -A first-timer, just in.

-Cheers! -Cheers!

-To life! -To life!

I'm going for a dip.

Come on in!

Hop in!

Sir?

You should have seen your expression.

You should have seen his!

I haven't laughed so much in years.

I haven't had so much champagne in years.

My palate is as dry as a board!

-Goodnight. -Goodnight.

Goodnight, my darling.

My dear Sten, why did you stop there?

-What do you mean? -You like her.

She has everything that I didn't have.

-Don't say that. -But it's true.

Maybe she's the type you've been looking for all your life.

Bubbly, spiritual, impulsive, daring...

Stop it! Stop talking to me.

You're not here anymore. You're not real.

Said the man sitting here patting a towel swan.

Eternal love.

What the hell?!

-Have you seen Elsa? -No, I haven't.

-Aron, I did a round kick. -What round kick?

-I need to puke. -The bathroom is that way.

-That's not the bathroom! -Sorry.

-A small party, was it? -Have you seen Elsa?

Not since she danced on the table.

Have you seen the Ryan Gosling look-alike?

I wouldn't mind making out with him. - You hit on me already.

-Did I? -Yes.

-How did that go? -What do you think?

What are you doing? Come inside, I want to talk to you.

-Come inside! -Help! I'm going to get told off.

-Do you want some? -In!

-What the fuck! -What?

-Were you smoking weed out there? -Yeah. Excuse me!

-When did you start doing drugs? -Doing drugs?

It's just a little weed. I smoked a little weed.

-Relax! -Relax? Someone puked in the closet.

There are people fucking in mom and dad's bed.

Sorry if I'm a bit revved up right now!

-Nobody died. -Wake up, Adam!

-Is he dead or what? -Adam?

-Adam, wake up! -Aron, come in here!

- What the hell?! -Aron, call an ambulance!

Thanks very much, everyone. Go home now. Go home.

Thanks.

-Hi dad! How are you? -I'm good.

-I knew it would be good for you. -What's that noise?

Aron is calling on the other line. I'll connect you. Hang on...

-Hi, I've got dad on the other line. -Don't connect me!

-We're all on the one line now. -Hi dad! How are you?

-This is great. -Yes, it is. How are things there?

Everything's just fine here.

Hello! Can we all hear one another?

3-party calls can be tricky. We're all talking at the same time.

-What? -Dad, what did you want to say?

-Nothing in particular. -No. OK.

-I need to hang up now. -Yeah, bye.

Aron?

Did he hang up? - Aron hung up.

Our 3-party call is now a 2-party call.

Technically speaking, it's just a call.

Indeed.

-I had better get... -I know, you're busy.

-Yes, pretty busy. -We'll talk later.

Yes, we will. And dad, try to enjoy yourself.

Clara, I'll be alright. I'm doing fine, actually.

-Are you sure? -Yes.

You were right when you said that one mustn't give up on life.

We mustn't walk away just because we're scared.

No...

-Well, then... -Talk soon, dad.

-Yes, sweetheart. Take care! -OK. Bye.

-Hi. -Hi.

-We need to talk. -Yes, we do.

About you and me...

-It's not working. -Nope.

-I'm not looking for a relationship. -Me neither.

There's nothing wrong with you. It's me. OK?

Oh, shit!

We can always be friends.

Good looking guys in tight jeans, not my thing.

If I'm in a relationship - kids, a family and all of that-

-it has to be with someone that I really want to be with.

That's why I came here.

-It's not going to be you and me. -Good. So be it!

If I'm with someone, it's got to be all-in.

Do you mean all-in in a relationship or all-in now?

-Be quiet! -I need to know.

-There you are! -Hi.

God damn it!

-Did you make out with Ryan? -Yep, sure did.

I have a feeling that the real guy is better at it.

How is she?

Better than the guy that left in the ambulance.

Yeah...

-Want some? -Thanks.

-Warm beer? -Yep.

Nice...

-What a fucking night! -Yes, what a mess!

-That guy could have died. -Christ!

One death is enough for me this month.

I'm sorry about your mom.

I know that. Thank you, my friend.

-Did you show her your tattoo? -I didn't get around to it.

-You can do that another day. -Yes, another day.

Text: www.sdimedia.com