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KENAN THOMPSON: 2024 was a hell of a ride.

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ

Whoa. It's packed with some stuff. [laughing]

THOMPSON: We laughed, we cried.

Can you believe O.J. died?

Can't trust the media.

Joe Biden blew the debate.

"Madame Web" was far from great.

And this young lady taught us how to fellate.

"Hawk tuah" and spit on that thing, you get me?

THOMPSON: We were confused by D. Wade's face in bronze.

And Red Lobster finally ran out of prawns.

People are pigs, and they'll just keep eating.

THOMPSON: Beyoncé released a hit country song.

The Feds did Peanut the Squirrel wrong.

And we all saw this pole vaulter's giant DONG.

- Not demure. - THOMPSON: Yeah.

2024 was far from demure, but full of deep meaning.

Now, to break it all down,

here's Kevin and me, Kenan.

Now, who's ready to back that year up?

Me!

[applause]

Holy cow, welcome back

to "2024: Back That Year Up," guys.

Our annual look back at the year and everything.

I am Kevin Hart.

And I am Kenan Thompson.

And it is so great to be back

to break down one of the most consequential years since 2023.

There's so much that we can talk about, right?

We got the Tom Brady Roast.

We got the Mark Twain Prize,

"Fight Night" on Peacock.

- What a year. - Well, Kev, those are just

- things that you did. - [applause]

Yeah, I mean, I mean, come on.

Other people did some stuff, right?

Yeah yeah, I mean, there was the Paris Olympics.

Yeah. Oh! Oh, yeah, that's right.

I did that, I did the-- I did the Olympics too.

- We did the Olympics. - Did we do it?

It was a huge success.

Ah, that's right.

I took home three gold medals.

Yes, you did. And you need to return them to Simone Biles.

We brought the comedy gold.

Now, if we didn't, then this never would have happened.

- Holy cow. - Look at that there.

You gotta be kidding me. You got Wheaties?

- Yeah, I got Wheaties. - Yeah, well, that's crazy, man,

because I got this. Yeah, yeah.

- That's magically offensive. - Oh, you son of a bitch.

- That's what that is. - Look, man, that's just

the kind of year that it's been.

Guys, it's time to unpack the biggest

entertainment stories of 2024

in a segment that we call

For the Pop Culture.

- Let's get it. - Let's go.

Moviegoers embraced the big-screen magic

- of "Wicked." - The movie "Wicked" was

such a cultural phenomenon,

Mattel released a line of dolls to promote it,

but ended up with the wrong kind of plug.

REPORTER: The dolls look adorable,

but look at the packaging.

The website listed is wicked.com,

which links to a pornographic website.

What's the site? Just so I can see what they talking about.

I'm not trying to look at that mess.

W-W.

Was it one W, or was it-- it was--

W-W-W, okay.

- That wicked.com. - Okay.

I'm not interested in going there.

No, I'm not going there for anything

other than just to fact check

what the news is saying, that's all I want to do.

So relax, parents, mistakes happen.

- All the time. - Yeah, that's how

half your kids got here anyway.

- That's right. - [laughter]

Now, because we are professionals,

we went to the website multiple times.

- Yeah. - And we had to check it out.

It's easy to see why people are confused.

If you go there and you look

at some of the titles they got on wicked.com,

one of them is "Dorothy Does Kansas."

- "Carpet Munchkin." - Yeah.

[laughter]

Uh, this is a really confusing one.

"Swallow the Yellow Brick Chode."

- Oh, my God. - Just, yeah, yeah.

Oh, man, I like the one

that they made with the all-Black cast.

- "The Jizz." - Yeah.

[laughter]

You understand? Good music.

- Yeah, yeah. - Good music in that one.

Good music.

Just gotta ease on down.

- Ease on down that road. - Ease on down.

That's what it's got to do.

According to the Chinese zodiac,

and Joe Rogan, it was the Year of the Dragon.

But in television, it was the year of the "Baby Reindeer"

and "The Penguin" and "The Bear" and the chimp.

And with this crazy-ass lady.

Tonka loved me as much as I love Tonka.

- It's like your love for God. - All right.

And I'll do anything to protect that primate.

- Anything. - Yep.

"Chimp Crazy" is the story of an unhealthy, unhinged,

fast-food-eating animal incapable of being socialized

and her chimpanzee, Tonka.

[laughter]

[laughter continues]

Who does an interview in between two bunk beds?

[laughter]

This lady... This lady's a psychopath.

Well, where'd you like to do the interview?

Y'all got some bunk beds?

After 41 years, Pat Sajak finally retired

as host of the beloved game show "Wheel of Fortune."

Fortunately, he stuck around just long enough to enjoy

the finest moment in the show's history.

- Roll the clip. - Category is phrase.

And off we go.

**

- Tavaris. - "Right in the butt"?

Right-- he knew it.

- [laughter] - Blake.

- "This is the best." - First word

- ain't even close to right. - I just don't...

I just don't like his confidence when he said it.

- Boop! - Right in the butt.

"Is that what everybody else is thinking?"

- Yeah. - [laughter]

"Right in the butt"?

Listen, you never hear someone say

"this is the best"

after you hear "right in the butt."

[laughter]

In May, Netflix gave us "The Roast of Tom Brady."

They served up the GOAT

and went straight for his throat.

Hosted by none other than the great Kevin Hart.

- Yeah. - Now, Kevin, I love

that you got to host a Tom Brady roast,

but I bet you that you didn't know this.

There was another Brady Roast that took place this year.

Let's take a look.

You know, I love how they called

the Brady Bunch a blended family.

America's first blended family.

Last time I checked, all them motherfuckers was white.

- [laughter] - Marcia Brady has

given more Black men AIDS than the U.S. government.

- Goddamn. - Taking shots.

No, no, she went hard. You got more?

Let me see a little bit more, if we got more.

How is Alice's pussy like an atomic bomb?

Well, it's radioactive

and it hasn't been used since 1945.

She got that Oppenheimer pussy,

but her shit ain't the bomb.

- That Oppenheimer. - That's a roast.

You gonna do a roast, do the roast.

Shout out, she's-- she got that Oppenheimer pussy.

- That's all right. - 2024 was

a truly unforgettable year in music as well.

Beyoncé got country fried.

Sabrina Carpenter served up espresso.

And we all dined out on Drake and Kendrick's beef.

That's right. Don't forget Usher.

He killed it at the Super Bowl Halftime Show

and then his world tour was the cherry on top.

Look... Look at her.

Look at her, try to get to the cherry.

- That's a cherry he holding. - Oh, man.

- Hold on. - She doing the most.

She seems more thirsty than hungry.

- Was she tying it in a knot? - I don't know what she did.

It looked like she was mimicking licking balls.

[laughter]

- That's what she was doing. - Yeah, that's what

- it looked like. - That's what it looked like.

If you got one ball, she gonna stay.

She's still with you.

[laughter]

You know, I'm pretty sure I saw

a thirstier Usher clip than that one.

* It's seven o'clock *

Wow.

This is... This is incredible.

What the fuck are you doing?

Man, give me my...

- That's Kevin. - Is that Usher?

* It's seven o'clock *

* On the dot, I'm in my drop top *

* Cruising the streets *

[humming along]

Which one is Usher?

Which-- I can't tell.

Am I the only one that's confused?

- [laughter] - Man.

* It's 7:00 on the dot *

* I'm in my drop top cruising the streets *

Yeah, that's right. [humming]

- We in a moment. - Moving on.

Unfortunately, music legend Quincy Jones

passed away this year.

We also lost Frankie Valli from the Four Seasons.

The only difference is

Frankie Valli is still performing.

That's right.

Yeah. There he is. He ain't even singing.

Why? Why give him the microphone?

Yeah, he buffering worse

than the Jake Paul / Mike Tyson fight.

- [laughter] - Looks like

a Halloween decoration that got left through the...

[laughter]

What is it?

Well, it looks like a Halloween decoration

that got left out through December, man.

- [laughter] - Guys, that was

- For the Pop Culture. - Yes, it was.

One of the highlights of my year

was my day drinking with Seth Meyers.

Look, it took all afternoon and made me even more useless

than normal the next day. Take a look.

Here we go. Get up!

- Ready? - Ready?

One-two-three, go.

Aaaagh!

You stupid!

- Aaaagh! - You stupid!

All right. Joining us now is the Bad Influence himself,

"Late Night's" own Mr. Seth Meyers.

Yes. Yes.

Hey.

- What's up, "Sethly"? - Thank you guys so much.

Thanks for sending a plane ticket

and flying me out to LA.

It means the world to be with you.

- Yeah, man. - Yeah, yeah, no-no-no.

That's what we did. That's exactly what we did.

- Treating you right. - You know.

That was the first priority.

Seth, how long does it take you

to bounce back from these day drinking sessions?

Well, let's see, Kevin. You and I went day drinking

in early September, and I feel like I'm almost back.

Yeah.

Now, aside from the election,

were there any stories from 2024

that you feel slipped under the radar?

I don't know if this slipped anywhere,

but you guys were at the Olympics.

I feel like that French pole vaulter

we could still be talking about, right?

Yep, we could do more.

Does anybody know his name?

Ammirati.

- Ammirati. - He's so much better than us.

- Yeah. - He's so much better than us.

Look at that. That's a real journalist.

- Like, right there. - You're a real journalist.

You're so prepared. Like, literally.

You didn't ask production--

You guys, in my defense,

I covered the Olympics every night on Peacock.

I did a full show every night.

- Okay. - Every single night?

But in our defense, so did we.

- We still had no idea. - In our personal defense.

Just want to make it very clear, Seth.

- We did the same thing. - No, that was--

- Yeah, that was-- - You're just

way better than us. Right now, Seth,

what I want you to do, man, I want you to talk about

your new HBO special, "Dad Man Walking."

Yeah, man, it's a good special, too.

The reason why-- what Kenan and I know

and what a lot of your fans know,

is how amazing of a comic you are, man.

And I can't wait for people that don't know

to discover what we've known for so long.

So please, articulate it

in the best way that you possibly can.

Why this special is something that people should watch.

Thank you, Kevin. Those kind words could not

possibly sound more as though you read them off a card.

- I didn't. - Hey, this is genuine.

That's bullshit. There's nothing on my card.

- This is genuine. - This is real.

As you say, Kenan, this here is real.

This here is real. That's right.

Um, it's the best. I mean, Kevin,

when we were doing Day Drinking, we were talking about stand up.

I just still love doing it so much.

It's such a different muscle.

It's been really fun to work on an hour

about how much I like having children,

even though they provide a lot of material

about how I don't like them at all.

Seth, before we go, though, man, I want to know,

what are your New Year's resolutions for 2025?

I'm going to stop pretending I don't need glasses.

- Yep, that's a good one. - I like it, I like it.

- Less squinting. - Reading the menus.

Hold the phone.

Way far away.

Get some glasses. There it is.

- There it is. - Now, thank you very much

to... Seth?

You can catch "Late Night with Seth Myers"...

- There it is, right there. - ...weeknights...

on NBC and eventually on Peacock.

- Yeah. - That's what it says...

Seth, we love you. Congrats on your special, man.

Guys, make sure you please check it out.

Very, very funny. Behind a desk

and in front of a crowd-- guys, we'll be right back

after we get pardoned by President Biden.

- We'll see you after this. - Oh snap.

- [applause] - They throwing

them pardons around. How do you already know

what's gonna happen next year?

Because I'm Jon Hamm

and I watch reruns of "The Simpsons."

You were really diplomatic about the Yankees fans

that tried to rip off your hand. Here's your chance

- to tell those guys... - Yeah, right now.

exactly what you feel.

- I would really say-- - Hey!

Maybe the best thing we can do is for the three of us

to join together in a little interracial makeup sax.

[laughter]

[smooth melody]

Welcome back to "2024: Back That Year Up."

The Blackest thing on Peacock

until they get the NBA.

We don't need a warm up for this next segment.

We just need to ball out on the year in sports.

Let's take a Victory Lap.

At the Super Bowl, we discovered

how much Taylor Swift likes football

and how much Travis Kelce likes singing.

* Viva! Viva! *

* Las Vegas! *

- Yeah. - [laughter]

That's the face of disappointment.

Right there. That's that one.

- Just right there. - That's...

- That's that face like yep. - Yep, she's just like,

- that's what I signed up for. - That's my guy.

That's him. That's him right there.

I'm sticking by him, right there.

They need to put Kelce in the blue tent immediately.

- Yep. - All right, look, man,

when NFL players aren't on the gridiron

or attending Taylor Swift concerts,

they have all kinds of interests.

I'm Anna Prosser, here at the 2024

Pokémon North America International Championship.

And I'm here with Jamaal Williams,

who plays for the NFL and is also a huge Pokémon fan.

What has brought you here today, Jamal?

I just like anime and I love Pokémon.

[laughter]

All right. I don't know why...

I mean, what the fuck was that?

[laughter]

I mean, what was that?

By the way, why do they have

live interviews at a Pokémon convention?

[laughter]

Who wants to hear what these people have to say?

Why are we going live from a Pokémon convention?

Oh, we're live here with Peter. Peter, tell us what you got.

- I got Pokémon. - [laughter]

I just like anime and I love Pokémon.

Yeah, anime and Pokémon.

I wonder what else Jamaal Williams likes together.

I like rap music. I like Macklemore.

I like birds and I love parakeets.

I like appetizers and I love edamame.

I like wizards, and I love

Harry Potter's friend, Ron Weasley.

Yeah.

[laughter]

The WNBA enjoyed its most successful season this year

with rookie stars Caitlin Clark

and Angel Reese uniting fans

and dividing trolls on social media.

That's right, Caitlin and Angel won our hearts,

but it was the New York Liberty

who won the title for the first time in franchise history.

COMMENTATOR: Jones puts it down,

gets it back...

and finishes, puts the foul...

The New York Liberty

are WNBA champions!

Joining us now from the championship

New York Liberty

- is Jonquel Jones. - [applause]

- Yes. - What's up?

What's going on, guys?

- How y'all doing? - HART: Oh, good.

You out there. I saw you.

"Aagh! Get off!"

- Ugh! Ugh! - "Get off me."

Getting big on the block.

I used to do the same thing.

He used to do the same exact thing.

- Samesies! - [laughter]

Yeah. God, man.

- I love it. - The way I killed Pastor Jones.

I swear to you, when I played in church.

- Like it was nothing. - On the box.

- Get out of here. - Watch out, Pastor Jones.

Get out of here. You better praise this.

- You too little! - Aagh!

Drop-step.

Listen, you won the 2024 finals, MVP.

I gotta ask you, what was going through your head

when they announced your name?

JONES: I was a little bit shocked.

I wasn't really focusing on my stats

during the series. I just wanted to win.

And then, you know, just really happy that

all the hard work, all the things

that I had kind of done to get there was

- kind of being recognized. - BOTH: Yeah.

It was definitely recognized.

You moved to the US from the Bahamas at 13

to pursue basketball.

At what point did you know that you was better

than everybody in the Bahamas?

[laughter]

I mean, at a pretty young age,

I knew that I was a pretty good basketball player.

- Especially in the Bahamas. - Yeah.

- Same, right? - Same, 'cause I was--

we played a church from the Bahamas.

- We bust their ass. - Bust that ass.

- We bust their ass. - Yeah, yeah.

- Everybody. - It was crazy.

I said, we got to... go play other churches.

- 'Cause... - We had carpet on our court.

- We used to bust ass. - [laughter]

We had a carpeted court, at church.

[laughter]

The WNBA saw record attendance this year.

Does that add to the pressure

that you're up to in your game now?

It does come with added pressure,

especially when you're playing in a big market like New York.

You know, you gotta really balance,

you know, the mental aspect of the game,

like being prepared and ready to play.

And also just, you know, understanding

that we're human and sometimes we're gonna have a bad game.

Not anymore. You're not allowed.

Um, you're a champion now.

That's all we want to see from you.

- Okay. - And the MVP.

Every single time you hit the court--

that's the mentality that you had.

I had that-- I'm not going--

Every time you touch the court.

I'm not stepping into no church

unless I'm giving out 45, 26, and 18.

- All church league. - By the way,

we had a church lady who could ball.

I gave her 65.

- Okay. - Yeah, on the block.

- And she could ball. - She could ball.

She was a deaconess.

- Got it, yeah, yeah. - Played with a kitten heel.

[laughter]

- Played with a kitten heel. - Yeah.

Now, JJ, your win marks the Liberty's

first-ever WNBA championship in 28 seasons.

- Wow. - That is incredible.

It feels amazing, to be able to, you know,

shut the city down and have a parade

and have everybody turn out

and, you know, just celebrate us and our team.

You know what's crazy? The Knicks never talk like this

because they've never been able to win a championship

with Spike Lee sitting courtside.

Okay? He's the problem.

- It's not the Knicks. - It's Spike.

It's Spike Lee, his bad-luck ass,

and those glasses sitting there

- cheering every game. - Bad-luck glasses.

By the way, he came to one of my church games.

- I got him out of there. - Immediately.

- I don't want you. - Like, you're not allowed.

No, okay? Your mascot Ellie

also got a lot of shine this year.

Can you tell us what's happening in this clip right here, please?

**

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

- Ellie. - Hey.

- Shake your tail. - Ha-ha-ha!

- Literally, shake your tail. - THOMPSON: Hilarious.

I don't know. I feel like Ellie is

starting to steal the show at this point.

I have family members texting me, like,

"Oh, I wanna come to the game." And I'm, you know,

I'm texting them back like, "Oh yeah?" Like, "That's good."

Like, "You're finally gonna get to see me play."

And they're like, "We ain't coming to see you.

- We coming to see Ellie." - HART: Yeah.

JONES: So, you know, people really love Ellie,

and Ellie is, like, global now.

Like, everybody loves Ellie. It's crazy.

I mean, what's not to love?

A mouse twerking? What is that?

- It's an elephant. - It's an elephant?

- [laughter] - That was an elephant tail?

[laughter]

- That was an elephant. - What's not to love?

- A mouse shaking ass? - A mouse twerking?

That was a really skinny elephant.

I ain't never seen an in-shape elephant.

- You ever see that? - That's a BBL elephant.

A BBL elephant. That's funny.

All right, now before you go,

what is your way-too-early prediction for the WNBA please?

You know, not being biased, but we gotta run it back.

- So that's actually-- - Run it back.

Yes, I wanna see you guys win another one, man.

- Yeah, - I gotta-- and I'm gonna come.

I'm gonna come to a game. Not to--

- Please, we'd love to have you. - Not to see you guys play.

I gotta get my eyes on that goddamn elephant.

- On that goddamn mouse. - [laughter]

I gotta look at my eyes on that damn...

I know Ozempic when I see it.

Oh! Don't do Ellie like that.

[laughter]

- THOMPSON: Skinny-ass elephant. - HART: Skinny-ass elephant.

Thank you for joining us and good luck

on running it back in 2025.

- Get it done. - Jonquel Jones.

- Thank you. - [overlapping chatter]

Thank y'all. Thank you, guys.

- Bye-bye. - Thank you.

[applause]

NBA Finals MVP Jaylen Brown

cemented his legacy in Boston,

while D. Wade had his legacy bronzed in Miami.

Here it comes.

What you worked your whole life for.

- [laughter] - Right there.

- That's what it's about. - Look at him.

- He's like, yeah. - By the way--

- That ain't it. - That's what it's about.

Look. He's like, "Wait, who did what?"

- That's right. - That's crazy.

I can't believe that. Who is that guy?

That's the first statue

that has ever had to take a paternity test.

[laughter]

REPORTER: Have you had a chance to see any of the reaction

to the statue yesterday and like--

- Yeah, I have an iPhone. - Why is he dressed

for the 2003 NBA Draft?

[laughter]

That was wild.

Yeah, and here we are,

presenting your life's honor statue.

That was good. That was good.

- The 2003... - Here he is,

stung by a bunch of bees in the jaw, D. Wade.

[laughter]

Here he is.

- Candyman. - Candyman, right here.

Come on, man.

- Bees in his mouth. - Come on, man.

You got it. What you think?

That's one... That's one of the times

where his statue got revealed,

and the guy that made it was on the side like this.

[laughter]

What you think?

We doing this in front of your family.

[laughter]

- Oh, man. - I love you, D.

And that was Victory Lap.

[applause]

The Los Angeles Dodgers won the World Series,

and one reason was the outstanding play

of our next guest. Take a look.

COMMENTATOR: Line drive, right field.

- THOMPSON: Got that. - Betts comes on and makes

- a diving play! - Got that!

Thank you.

Pitch down.

- Put back to it. - And Betts...

Please welcome Mookie Betts.

Mookie Betts.

"Bett" on yourself. What up, daddy?

Holy cow. Mookie.

Oh, no. Y'all got beef?

- We do have beef. - Who y'all got beef with,

- though? - We do have beef right now.

- Hilarious. - I don't want to let the world

in on it, because it's none of the world's business.

But Mookie Betts is scared to play me in pickleball.

Oh, interesting. Is that the truth?

- I did run, but I'm back. - Yeah.

- Oh, he ran and he's back. - I'm back.

It's none of the world's business. We're not here

to talk about Mookie Betts being a coward

and not showing up

for a pickleball match that he committed to.

I'm not here to debate

or talk about a challenge that we took on.

And he looked me in my eyes and said,

"Okay, tomorrow morning."

I said, think-- "Okay, let's go."

That morning came and went.

Mookie Betts never show.

- Whatever. - Mookie, a rebuttal?

You know, I had to take care of some things

with the wife, and I didn't wanna--

He had to take care of his wife, man.

- I'm ready. - It's fine, some people--

some people compete, some people run.

- Yeah. - We're just different.

Whatever, man, let's just--

let's just get to the interview.

Well, I gotta say, congratulations, man.

I got a question to ask you, man.

'Cause the Dodgers did a lot of creative things.

What did you think about the Dodgers

bringing out Ice Cube?

You know, Ice Cube got the swag.

- He got the-- he came out. - Yeah-yeah.

BETTS: Doin'-- yeah. Ay-ay!

And we was all vibing. You could see

the whole Dodger Stadium.

We was all just vibing with him,

and he had the mic drop.

At that point, we had won.

All right, all right.

Now, you won the series with the Dodgers

in the COVID short-ended season of 2020.

Now, how does that compare

to winning it this year?

We had fans, which was cool.

Going to New York, you know,

with the play and all that stuff.

That would have never happened in 2020.

- We didn't have people there. - Right.

So, you're saying that one doesn't count?

No, I'm not saying that.

- What are you saying? - I'm saying...

'cause there was no fans there,

- because of COVID. - Is that what you're saying?

Yeah. A lot of people take it away.

I'm not gonna let you take that away from me.

I'm not taking it away.

The other team could have been sick.

What do you think of-- do you ever think like that?

No, I didn't.

- I didn't. - You get what I'm saying?

I got the ring.

So I think once I take

- possession of the ring... - Yeah.

- ...counts. - Got it. Got it.

Now, if they take it away from me...

Does the ring have a mask?

- Because... - They didn't put one on.

Okay. They didn't put one on.

- Cool. Okay. Got it. - Just wondering.

- Yeah. Just a question. - We just wondering.

By the way, we're not here to stir anything up.

This is a friendly conversation.

- We're here as good people. - [laughter]

After Game Four, you were really diplomatic

about the Yankees fans that tried to rip off your hand.

But on this show, you know, you can say

whatever you want, man. So here's your chance

to look right into that camera

- and tell those guys... - Yeah, right now.

...exactly what you feel

and, like, what you want to say.

COMMENTATOR: That's in the corner--

Does he have room? Fights with a fan!

I would really say fuck you guys.

- Hey! - [laughter]

- Yeah-yeah-yeah, yeah. - Fuck you guys.

- That's right. - [applause]

But also on the grounds of... why?

Like, get the-- try and get the ball, cool.

- Right. - But, like,

you trying to grab my shit.

- Like, you trying to, like... - Yeah.

...you trying to take the glove and shit with me,

- like, you know. - Yeah.

And then I didn't even feel the dude grabb my arm.

Yeah, you were in the moment.

I was in the moment. So I tried--

I thought about throwing a ball at him,

and then-- then I realized,

Mook, you ain't-- you ain't gonna do shit.

- Yeah. - [laughter]

you ain't gonna do shit.

Go back to right field.

- That's been established. - It's crazy that

you say that, because when I saw it,

I was like, what a bitch.

Like, Mookie. 'Cause you were like this,

and there was a mic-- you can hear you going,

[high-pitched grunting]

[laughter]

- Hey, man, look, it worked. - "Stop!"

He-- they called him out.

- That's all that matters. - "That hurts!"

You're hurting me.

"You're hurting me! You're hurting me!"

That out was important, guys.

- "Just take the ball!" - It was.

- "Take the ball!" - That out was important.

After that play? No, boy, I didn't even look

- in the outfield. - Well, Mook, nobody's really

ever going to have a problem with you.

You're one of the best players to ever do it.

- Yep, 100%. - So, like, let's just--

let's just understand that, okay?

Nobody... Nobody's ever...

Nobody's ever looking at you with animosity.

Like, they have to put respect to your name.

So the only reason why I'm giving you love,

'cause I-- I've experienced that.

[laughter]

- I know what that feels like. - That's how it's been.

- Playing in the church league. - That's how it's been

- for you all your life. - [laughter]

Mookie Betts, we want to thank you

so much for joining us. I'm glad you could come here

because you did not come to the pickleball court.

So, I was glad to see that you showed up for something.

Okay, and good luck on running it back.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mookie Betts. One time.

- Run it back one time. - Oh, my God.

Guys, we'll be right back after this.

- Get out of here... - That's right, he got

- three rings. - You got three.

- Oh, you a gangster. - He's got three?

Are the people hype for the holidays? How you feeling?

[smooth melody]

Yeah, I'm just gonna say it, Kenny.

What the fuck is happening right now?

He didn't bring his daughter to work

because Matt Gaetz was still in Congress.

Oh, that's a good one.

HART: I said cut his mic, guys.

All right. Welcome back to "2024: Back That Year Up,"

the only show Republicans and Democrats

can both agree on-- they all hate it.

You know, every year at this time,

I not only take stock of the year that was,

but I start to think about the ways I can

better myself in the new year.

And I'm always thinking about ways

that you can be better. As a matter of fact,

I wrote some New Year's resolutions just for you.

That's crazy, because I wrote some for you, too.

That way that we can hold each other accountable.

All right, well then, hand them over.

Okay. Yeah, I'll give you-- get mine.

- I'll get mine, yeah. - There you go.

All right, let's see.

- All right. - Okay.

I resolve to rescue a cat and a dog from a shelter

and then donate them to a Haitian food bank.

[laughter]

You know, I resolve to get my prostate checked out

and this time by a doctor.

- Okay, all right. - [laughter]

You need an actual professional.

I resolve to give more money to Charity...

and Destiny and Ashley

and all the other hard-working ladies

at the Blue Flame in Atlanta.

Yeah, there you go.

I resolve to write my second book

and also read my first one.

- Yeah. Take a moment. - Yeah.

It's a good one. I resolve to be more honest

with my friends and finally tell Kel

"All That" has been officially canceled.

- Yeah, I don't think he knows. - He doesn't know.

- He doesn't know. - He's still going.

- Aah. - [laughter]

Oh, man.

I resolve to take music lessons

and finally learn to play the glockenspiel.

What the hell is a glockenspiel?

Oh, well, you know, I always keep a glock on me.

What-- What is that?

- [glockenspiel dinging] - Okay.

All right. You know what?

[laughing]

You actually-- [laughing]

You actually did a good job.

I'm pretty good, right?

You actually did a really good job.

Thank you very much.

That sounded insane when you did that.

As always, we like to celebrate all the animals,

big and small, who went viral this year.

This is Heavy Petting.

Let's get into it.

The petting zoo is a great place for kids to learn,

but sometimes it's the parents who get schooled.

WOMAN: Look at that white goat.

Oh, they are so cute.

Don't stand behind the goat.

WOMAN: I know, and there's a black one.

Black one?

[laughing]

Where did he come from?

[laughing]

And I'm glad that he knows you should tiptoe around that.

I want to give that kid credit for being PC,

because what the kid really meant to say was, "Bitch?"

[laughing]

Also, I think that's me.

[laughing]

Can I get a "black one" to my camera?

- Hold on, let me see. - Go, go, get in there.

Get in there, Kenan.

- Black one? - HART: Yeah, yeah, man.

Yeah, dude.

[laughing]

[applause]

There's nothing funny about breaking the law.

It's the getting caught part that's really hilarious.

This is Lawlessness & Disorder.

- [dun-dun] - [applause]

This gentleman was bought up on charges

for driving with a suspended license.

For all you future lawyers out there,

see if you can spot what he did wrong.

- Mr. Harris, are you driving? - Hello?

Actually, I'm pulling

into my doctor's office, actually, so--

So, just give me one second.

He doesn't have a license,

he's suspended, and he's just driving.

Defendant is to turn himself

into the Washtenaw County Jail by 6:00 p.m. today.

Failure to turn himself in

will result in a bench warrant with no bond.

[laughing]

Oh, my God!

Hating on me, man.

Come on, man.

Oh, my God.

I said I was pulling over.

I mean, that literally

has to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life.

- Oh, no, very funny. - But very funny.

The dude was driving during his suspended license trial.

That's like showing up to an AA meeting

with jello shots.

That's like hiring Tony Hinchcliffe

to be the Grand Marshal at the Puerto Rican Day Parade.

That's like showing up to a swingers party

with your Mormon wife.

Actually, that was a pretty normal thing.

- HART: Yeah, that's actually-- - THOMPSON: Yeah, pretty normal.

Now, when schools have to cut their budgets,

the arts are always the first to go.

Maybe that's why one music teacher

had to find a side hustle.

We got a teacher in the classroom

on school hours, stripping down

butt naked, bending over,

and showing everything on the video.

And all you could see

was cellulite hanging and pubic hair.

And I loved every moment of it.

This is a disgrace and a shame

that this is the type of educator

and teacher that is in the classroom.

I'm not saying I watched the video

from front to back several times.

[laughing]

Pullin' her pants down,

right leg first, left leg second.

And you can hear her breathe

and spread her butt cheeks.

[laughing]

Yep, it's just another day at Cardi B High.

[laughing]

When all you could see

was cellulite hanging and pubic hair.

This is a disgrace and a shame.

- She laughing? - Did you need a suit for that?

No, I don't think so.

- [laughing] - I don't think so.

I don't think the wardrobe matches the statement.

- Right? - Hello.

They want me to come down there and talk about the video?

Okay, I'm gonna tell them that I didn't like it,

but I really liked it.

[laughing]

Did you see it?

She bent over and showed everything.

[laughing]

Why was he talking like that?

I mean, what is this I have a wet dream speech?

[laughing]

You keep that pubic hair trimmed and neat.

[laughing]

Neat at last, neat at last.

Thank God Almighty, it's neat at last.

[laughing]

Yes, yes, he deserves one.

[applause]

And that was Lawlessness & Disorder.

- HART: Yeah. - THOMPSON: Oh, man.

2025 cannot come soon enough.

This year has been so divisive,

and it takes its toll.

I'm just glad that we're here

so we can process it together.

Yeah, we can do more than that, Kev.

We can sing about it.

I actually don't think that'll help, Kenan.

Trust me, it is time to get down to brass tacks, all right?

We all need to come together for some Make Up Sax.

Wait, makeup sex?

Okay, look, this-- this is a family show, okay?

Not a show I'd watch with my family.

But for the record,

I said sax.

Make Up Sax.

And I invited an OG horn legend to help us out.

Ladies and gentlemen, please say hello to K. Gorelic.

Who the fuck? Who is that?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Y'all-- y'all may know him as Kenny G.

- HART: Oh, Kenny G! - [applause]

THOMPSON: Yeah.

The legend himself.

Wow. Oh, man, Kenny G.

It's so great to have you on the show with us.

Why don't you tell me, man,

what's the vibe out there right now?

Like, are people hyped for the holidays? How you feeling?

[smooth melody]

- Yeah... - [laughing]

Sorry, I guess I don't really like the sound of that one.

Is there anything that we can do?

[riffing]

Oh, okay-- I see. Okay.

Yeah. Well, that makes a lot of sense.

Right? Right.

Yeah. I'm just gonna say it.

Kenny, what the fuck is happening right now?

Like, what are you blowing about right now?

All right, all right.

- Well, Kenny, use your words. - Please.

Okay, okay. Well, Kevin, it's complicated.

There are challenging times out there.

But I have hope.

And maybe the best thing we can do for everyone

is for the three of us to join together

in a little sweet, interracial Make Up Sax.

[laughing]

Way to use your words, Kenny.

Yeah, yeah. Let's do this.

[riffing]

* *

[upbeat beat fading in]

[riffing]

Conservatives and liberals, it's time to face the facts.

Y'all need to reach around the aisle

and have some makeup sax.

[saxophone riffing]

Bennifer 2.0, your romance turned back into a pumpkin.

Well, I guess we learned that marriage

can't run on Dunkin.

Climb into bed and hide away those cigarette packs

and just have some multi-hyphenate makeup sax.

[saxophone riffing]

Everybody and their mama watched this year's eclipse.

Come on, Moon.

You can't just show up during the Sun's work shifts.

But it's not your fault.

We all watch the news.

We know you're both actually controlled by--

Hey, hey, hey-- whoa, you-- You can't say that.

Oh, I was gonna say Al Roker.

He's got all our backs, you know?

- Okay. - Right?

- Yeah. - Keep it going.

So, Sun and Moon,

why don't you rotate into some makeup sax?

HART: Yeah.

[riffing]

Kenny G, everybody!

[cheering and applause]

[riffing]

Nate, you don't cuss on stage, man.

Do you ever drop f-bombs at home?

- No, I don't. - Give me one, Nate, one time!

Oh, no, I'm not gonna do it.

[laughter]

It's me, baby, it's Santa Claus.

You look different, man. What happened to you?

I take a little Ozempic, but, uh...

I knew it!

[fireworks booming]

All right, welcome back to "2024: Back That Year Up,"

which you're only watching because you forgot

to cancel Peacock after the Olympics.

All right, now, one of 2024's bright spots

was a film about anxiety, embarrassment, and boredom.

"Inside Out 2."

No, "Joker 2."

Now, if I wanted to see a villain

struggle to get through a song,

I would have gone to a J. Lo concert.

No, come on.

Stop it, man. Good gracious, Kenan.

Let's get into it with Shaking My Damn Headlines.

- Come on, let's go, let's go. - [applause]

It felt like the 2024 election lasted five years

and it ended up with old Donnie T. back in power.

- Whoo! - In part, perhaps, because

he spoke to the one issue that matters most to Americans.

They're eating the dogs, the people that came in.

They're eating the cats, they're eating--

- Eating the dogs. - They're eating the pets.

- Eating the cats, pets. - Yeah.

The mayor there, he told us

there have been no credible reports

of specific claims of pets being harmed...

Look at his face.

...injured, or abused by individuals.

That's not what I heard.

No. No, it's not. They--

They're eating the fucking dogs.

They're eating the dogs.

- The pets-- - By the way.

They're eating the pets.

- Have you been to Springfield? - Yeah.

- I've never seen a dog. - Delicious.

[laughing]

You went recently, you ain't seen no dog?

I've never seen a dog!

- I'm just saying. - Just saying.

I'm not saying he's telling the truth.

- I'm just saying-- - I've never seen a dog!

- Ain't no dogs in Springfield. - Okay?

THOMPSON: Well, that fact checker brought receipts

longer than a CVS.

Gentlemen, those were all good jokes.

We also would have accepted

Dave Muir brought more receipts

than a Cardi B Instagram live.

- Now, wait a minute. - What?

Who this?

- Who this guy-- why you just-- - Oh, wow.

That's Blake Griffin, our Joke Checker.

- Yeah, Blake Griffin. - Came out of nowhere.

Give it up with Blake Griffin!

Ladies and gentlemen, Blake Griffin.

- [applause] - HART: Yeah, yeah.

Y'all know how on presidential debates,

they have a fact checker, well, we got a joke checker.

Yes, yes, and I can't believe we got him, man!

Celtics legend Blake Griffin.

[laughing]

That's funny.

But I also would have accepted

"Blake Griffin used to dunk over Kias,

now you look like you drive one."

[laughing]

Well, by the way, Blake,

where did you get the podium? Temu?

[laughing]

I'll allow that punchline, you could have also said,

"When's your podium due back at the AVN Awards"?

All right, Republicans have elephants,

Democrats have donkeys,

and then there's RFK Jr. who had a dead bear,

a dead whale, and a worm living in his brain.

REPORTER: The longtime conservationist

allegedly sawed the head off a dead whale

washed up on a Massachusetts beach

and then bungee corded it to the roof of the family minivan.

Why you telling people that, huh?

"Tied it up to the back of the truck."

"Chopped his head off and tied it on the top of the minivan."

- "That's all. I had to do it." - "I had to do it."

"I've been living with this all my life."

"I've been living with this."

You know, it raises a lot of questions,

none more important than where does that whale's head end

and his neck begin? Come on, now.

- Come on now. - It's true, man.

I never thought about it like that.

We also would've accepted,

"This is the first time a Kennedy's ever pulled

something dead out of the water in Massachusetts."

- Okay, all right. - What the fuck is this?

Okay. What is going on here?

Now hold on now.

That's enough, we about to cut his mic.

- Jesus Christ. - Moving on.

The presidential campaigns got nasty,

but at least the House of Representatives kept it classy.

I think your fake eyelashes

are messing up what you're reading.

- Hold on, hold on. - Listen--

OCASIO-CORTEZ: That is absolutely unacceptable.

CROCKETT: I'm just curious

just to better understand your ruling.

If someone on this committee

then starts talking about

somebody's bleached blonde, bad built, butch body,

that would not be engaging in personalities, correct?

A what now?

- Don't you "a what now" me. - A what now? You heard.

You heard it.

- You heard what I said, bitch. - Whoo.

I said beach not bad built body, bitch.

Big bad build bag body. Back.

You bad, built, bad, body, bitch.

[laughing]

- Okay. - The calm--

You heard what she said.

It was the calm.

"What now?"

[laughing]

If somebody gives they all-- If somebody gives they all--

with that much passion,

you hit it with that, it takes the air out you.

If I gave you my all,

you bad built, bad body, bitch.

[laughing]

What now?

[laughing]

I'm deflated after that.

Yeah, one of the bright spots this year

was how many young people got involved in politics.

- That's true. - And I'm talking really young.

...we have in this country

of settling our political differences

at the ballot box.

For nearly two and a half centuries...

You know, it was bring your son to work day.

Or as LeBron calls it, Tuesday.

No, come on!

Going to work with his son.

No, I got. I know what you said.

We also would have accepted

"He didn't bring his daughter to work

because Matt Gaetz was still in Congress."

- Oh. - [laughing]

That's a good one.

- I said cut his mic, guys. - He said that a long time ago.

- HART: Cut his mic. - Thank you, guys.

- Thanks for everything. - You taking the podium.

Yeah, I gotta get it back.

Wow.

Every election cycle,

we're bombarded by vicious campaign ads,

especially during major sporting events.

Kenan, sometimes I just wanna watch

the Yankees choke in peace.

- [laughing] - Snap.

Yeah, thank God we're finally done

with those damn attack ads.

ANNOUNCER: Kevin Hart says he's a standup comedian,

but he's really more of an improviser.

He says "yes and" how much to everything?

Kevin Hart says he's tough on the border,

but his movie "Borderlands" was tough on us.

Kevin Hart hosted "The Roast of Tom Brady."

Can we really trust someone who hates Patriots?

The only N-word Kevin won't say is "No."

It's time to say "No" to the "Yes Man"

and "Yes" to the Kenan.

THOMPSON: I'm Kenan Thompson, and I approve this message.

That's right.

Okay, Kenan, that's a little ridiculous right there.

Is it ridiculous or is it the truth?

That was definitely a little ridiculous?

What do you mean "Is it the truth"?

"Borderlands" was a good movie, man.

- [laughing] - All right.

Our next guest just starred in "Nashville Christmas,"

which, if you can believe it, was not one of the 700

Hallmark Christmas movies out this season.

Yeah, and his new comedy special,

"Your Friend, Nate Bargatze,"

is available now on Netflix.

Please welcome, coincidentally enough, Nate Bargatze.

- Yes. - Come on now.

- What's up, Nate? - Thank you.

How are y'all? Good to see you.

- Good to see you too, man. - Good to see you too.

This year, Nate, you hosted "SNL" for the second time,

but at the very same time,

your favorite college football team, Vanderbilt,

was beating Alabama.

COMMENTATOR: Vanderbilt takes down number one Alabama.

Did you ever consider calling in sick to watch the game?

Yeah, I mean, I did not--

You know, you don't think we're going to beat Alabama,

but I got more texts about that

than I did "SNL" when that happened.

That feels good. That feels real good.

And it was like, people were like,

they're just all going, "Are you there?"

And I have to tell them, "No, I'm on SNL."

- [laughing] - Which, a friend--

"Did you go to the game?"

You're like, "I wanted to, but I was hosting SNL."

[laughing]

Did you even go to Vanderbilt?

No, no, I couldn't.

I didn't go to college, so--

I went to community college.

- And no credits. - Nice.

I wish I could say something crazy like,

"What a dumb ass,"

but I, too, went to community college.

[laughing]

That makes three of us.

Santa Monica College all the way.

Sounds like-- sounds like we're doing it right.

Yeah, we doing it right.

I went to a two-year program

and then I started my junior year

and I was like, "Wait a minute."

- All right. - [laughing]

Now--

Nate, you performed with Jerry Seinfeld,

Jim Gaffigan, and Sebastian Maniscalco

at the Hollywood Bowl. What was that like?

BARGATZE: The Hollywood Bowl is unbelievable.

Like, they had a picture of, like, Sinatra,

except they're performing in the backstage.

And so it's just how many people have been there

and it's so big.

Seinfeld was, like, my guy that, uh--

So, like, to get to do a show with him is wild.

- It's crazy. - THOMPSON: That's cool.

"Pinch yourself" moments.

Nate, you don't cuss on stage, man.

Do you ever drop F-bombs at home?

- No, I don't. - Not even at home?

To help you not curse is--

I think a good way is to try to do it off stage.

We had to go through TV more.

So you had to learn how to not curse.

- Yeah. - And learn how to not--

- You had to do both. - Nice.

And nowadays, I think a lot of younger comics,

they're just online, well, they don't--

there's no restriction on anything they do, so they--

Well, let me show you how TV works, Nate.

Fuck this shit.

- That's television. - This is-- this is stupid shit.

Fuck. Fuck, bitch, shit, motherfucker.

- This is all television. - Like, come on, man.

Give me one. Nate, one time.

- Come on, let's get it. - Come on. Right now.

Oh, no, I'm not gonna do it.

[laughing]

Yeah, I didn't know you were asking.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I always joke that I'm a-- I'm a comics parent's comic.

Yeah, yeah.

Every comic would be like, "Go watch Nate."

They tell their parents they can watch me.

[laughing]

I like that, man. Congratulations.

You've earned it all. Thank you very much, man.

We wish you all the best in 2025.

Thank you.

Don't go anywhere, guys, 'cause we'll be right back.

That's right, they can't go anywhere.

- Nate Bargatze, one more time. - Nate Bargatze.

* Oh, Santa's thin *

* Bones and skin *

* My new body destroys *

It's an honor to be with

two of the top 12 funniest guys on Peacock.

- You son of a bitch! - Oh, wait, easy.

- I mean-- - Easy.

[fireworks booming]

Welcome back to "2024: Back That Year Up."

If we're being honest,

we prefer to forget this year even happened.

But we can't all be as lucky as Joe Biden.

No, we can't.

In the business world,

the stock market went off this year.

It did, man, that thing was up higher

than Snoop at the Olympics.

That's right.

And this next segment is called Standing on Business.

Have you ever thought,

"I just wish we had the technology

to finally make a robot look like a wet fruit roll-up."

Well, if you did, here you go.

REPORTER: Scientists in Japan say they discovered

a new way to bind living skin tissue.

The soft pink blob stares at the camera

before pulling its face into a smile.

[laughing]

What is happening, man?

What the fuck are people doing, man?

Smush is-- Why is it so wet?

Why is it like-- What do--

Who feels like people need this?

Smushy and--

- Great. - Yeah, this is it.

Hey, watch this. Watch what my robot--

I've been working on this robot for 62 years.

Watch what it can do.

[laughing]

In 2024, people put the Cybertruck to the test.

And it didn't always go as planned.

- Hey, wait a minute. - Oh, Justin Timberlake?

- Wait a minute. - Justin Timberlake.

Hey, look, dude.

Look at this Cybertruck.

- Come on, man. - MAN: Oh-oh.

Now, I'm not a mechanic,

but I don't think cars are supposed to be peeing that much.

Well, that's why they didn't put Elon Musk

in charge of the border fence.

- That's why. - Yeah, right there.

Drive right over it.

Even though most people shop Amazon on Cyber Monday,

they really tried to put the Black

in Black Friday this year.

- Oh. - Is that how you do it?

- That's how you get 'em. - That's how you do a durag.

This is how we're gonna get the Blacks.

- This is what the Blacks want. - Trust me.

A white woman, a durag, a guitar.

Who would buy this stupid product, man?

Who?

- Oh, no. - Come on, now.

- HART: Oh, no. - THOMPSON: One of our own?

- No, man. Oh, God. - Come on, man.

- Well... - Oh...

You know his shit gonna be tight.

Oh, man.

His shit gonna be laid tomorrow.

- Yeah. - All right.

That was Standing on Business.

HART: Yes.

Kenan, man, you know I love this time of year, dude.

Not only do I get to do this show with you,

but it's also Christmas, which is my favorite holiday.

We're gonna bring out ole Kris Kringle himself

for a little holiday cheer.

Please welcome Santa!

- No way. - Yes.

- Yes, way. - Santa Claus.

- I told you. - What's up, Santa?

- Damn. - What the-- whoa.

- Holy shit. - Whoa.

HART: Holy shit.

It's nice to be here with you guys, ho-ho-ho.

- Whoa, Santa. - What the--

- Hey. - Santa, ah--

You look different, man.

I, uh--

I trimmed my beard.

[laughing]

Looks pretty sick, huh?

Uh...

Yeah, you look sick, Santa.

You look real sick.

Like, what-- what happened to you?

Eating my vegetables?

Hiking a little bit. Counting my steps and...

- I take a little Ozempic, but-- - THOMPSON: I knew it.

- [slaps on desk] - I knew it.

Santa on Ozempic.

- That's a damn shame. - Damn it.

Santa, this does not feel right, man.

How can you be jolly if you're not clinically obese?

Whoa, whoa...

Oh, guys.

It's me, baby. It's Santa Claus,

[laughing]

Right? You know what?

Let me hit you with one of these jingles

to put you guys in the spirit.

Elfie, come on out here.

- Hit it, bitch. - [applause]

- Whoa. - Okay.

[applause]

[piano playing]

- Whoa, Santa! - [overlapping dialogue]

Uh-huh.

THOMPSON: Okay...

No, Santa, no, Santa--

No...

- Oh, bro! - SANTA: No more vibrators!

That's a sex sexy ass Santa right there.

- Okay, Santa-- - Put the sex work in.

SANTA: Can I have sex with you?

- No, Santa, no! - You can have--

- All right Santa, now-- - Santa, don't do that!

SANTA: I can have sex again.

THOMPSON: You can't have sex with everything, Santa.

Sorry, kids.

Stop having sex with everything.

- Merry Christmas, everybody! - Hey, Santa, do better.

HART: No, Santa.

- Santa Claus. - No, I like--

I like big, big Santa better, man.

Yeah, bring back fat, no-dick Santa.

Yeah, bring back fat, no-dick Santa, man.

Guys, we'll be right back.

With no Santa Claus.

[applause]

You work so much, you know what you're like?

You're like the white Kevin Hart, Jon.

That's a compliment.

No, that'd be Peter Dinklage.

- You son of a bitch-- - Oh-- hey, easy.

- I mean, come on! - Gentlemen.

It writes itself.

[fireworks booming]

All right, before we get out of here,

we have one last surprise for you.

Indeed we do.

Please welcome People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive for 2024,"

Jon Hamm!

- Oh! - Thank you, gentlemen.

Holy cow!

- Oh! - Right there. Wow.

- The best. - Wow--

- Jon Hamm. - Thanks for having me.

- Wow. - What's happening? All right.

So I am not People's "Sexiest Man Alive" this year.

It is John Krasinski.

- THOMPSON: No! - Yes, I know.

Think about how that hit me.

- Bullshit! - Unfortunate.

I'm gonna have to cancel my subscription to People now

and get my political news elsewhere.

- THOMPSON: I feel you. - HART: Wow.

For what it's worth, you know, I still think that

you're the best looking guy on Paramount+.

That's not nothing.

And I would like to say it's an honor to be

with two of the top 12 funniest guys on Peacock.

HART: Oh, that's rich.

Coming from the second sexiest Jon.

Silver medal!

Now, Jon, I heard that you got a new Apple series

called "Your Friends and Neighbors" coming in 2025.

And they ordered a second season

before the first episode even aired.

I mean, come on, man. You work so much.

You know what you like?

You like the white Kevin Hart, Jon.

THOMPSON: That's a compliment.

No, that'd be Peter Dinklage.

- Oh, wait, easy. - You son of a bitch!

- I mean, come on-- - Gentlemen--

- Sorry, it writes itself. - Gentlemen, easy.

That's a small joke, you son of a--

- HAMM: It writes itself. - THOMPSON: Easy.

[laughing]

Now, what else can we expect from you in 2025?

Guys, let's not make this just about me,

because there's so much to look forward to

for everyone in the new year.

In fact, I've got it all right here on these cards.

What? How do you already know what's gonna happen next year?

- HART: Yeah. - Because I'm Jon Hamm.

And I watch reruns of "The Simpsons," so--

- Shout out. - Buckle up.

This is Next Year's News.

THOMPSON: Let's go.

[applause]

Top headline, the Trump administration

accidentally deports Dora the Explorer.

- Oh, no. - Come on, come on...

Buckle up, McDonald's declares bankruptcy

after customers take advantage of their new promotion

all you can E. coli.

- Oh, Jesus. - Nice, nice.

HAMM: That's rough. That's a rough ride home.

Elon Musk begs Kevin Hart

to star in his new movie, "Soul Rocket."

- Yes! - Oh, "Soul Rocket."

- So that's a new franchise. - I'll do it!

- It's a rocket with soul. - It's gonna be good.

This is some sad news coming out of Ohio.

A confused Haitian eats Doja Cat.

HART: Oh.

I think that's already happened.

That's already happened here's a fun one.

Jay Leno's 2025 tour includes

90 comedy clubs and 120 emergency rooms.

[laughing]

He's-- Safety first with Jay.

- THOMPSON: Yeah. - Uh...

Well, this one's just nice.

Kevin Hart named

Sexiest Man Alive by Little People Magazine.

- You son of a bitch! - I knew that was coming.

Though it's a smaller version of the magazine.

- You knew that was coming. - Third one, man.

That was Next Year's News.

- HART: Wow. - THOMPSON: Thank you, Jon.

HART: Jon Hamm.

THOMPSON: Thank you very much.

Fantastic.

Goodbye, 2024.

Thank you to all our guests,

and thank you for watching.

May 2025 bring you more health,

more happiness, and more Kevin and Kenan.

Yes, we will see you in 2025.

Thank you, everybody.

[cheering and applause]

- Good game, dog. - No, great game.

- Good game, yeah. - Great game.

Woo.

Uh... [clears throat]

- All right. - How's everybody?

I guess we're here to answer

a couple of y'all dumbass questions, so...

Let's get them out the way.

FEMALE REPORTER: Uh, over here.

Blake Griffin is obviously a role player on the show,

but do you think he could have an expanded role in the future

or is less Blake Griffin better?

I can take that.

Blake was cool.

And, uh, that's enough.

I don't have anything good to say,

so I'm just not gonna say at all.

- You in the back. - MALE REPORTER: Uh, yeah.

Have you guys started training for the 2028 Olympics?

The fuck you think, man?

Of course.

- I mean-- - This is what we do.

Yeah, don't waste our time.

Down in front.

REPORTER: Any final thoughts on Ozempic Santa?

Look, Ozempic Santa's got his dick in everything at the time.

At this-- at this moment,

We got bigger things to worry about, right?

It's not the Ozempic, it's--

It's Santa's sex drive

that seems to be out of control.

So, you know, I just hope he gets the help

that he-- that he needs...

Yeah, Santa's probably fucking right now.

Yeah, right now, actually.

You know, a lot of kids can be without toys

if Santa doesn't pull it together, so I'm just--

I'm hoping he gets it under control.

- Yeah. - MALE REPORTER: Right here.

You guys were 49 of 53 with punchlines tonight.

How much was that you guys on the fly

and how much of that was scheme?

[cameras clicking]

- HART: Uh, I mean-- - [exhales]

All right, thank you, everybody.

- HART: Yeah. - We appreciate it.

We can't waste our time and that's what that was.

I wanna say thank you to Joe, Earl, Reg...

- Thank you, Joe, appreciate it. - And Nate.

Appreciate it, Joe, Reg and Nate.

All right.

[applause]