Original subtitles

ALADDIN SUPERFANTAGENIO

Hi, Tony.

Hey, fish face. You got something for me?

- Yep. - Atta boy.

All yours.

For a fat five.

What'd you do, find another Andrea Doria?

Take it or leave it.

Take it or leave it, huh? All right, let's see here.

I'll give you the five bucks,

but it's breaking my heart giving it to you.

I'll tell you right now. Here.

- Thanks Tony! - It's okay, Pally!

I'll see you around, huh? Keep digging away.

Hey kid!

Give me a hand along this junk. Come on.

Move it, move it. Come on. We've got a lot of things to do here.

I've got junk to collect. Everything has got to

be collected here. What do you think? It's a joke?

And you were three and half minutes late this morning.

Don't think I don't know about it, here.

Can't put anything over me, kid, because I've been in the business 30 years.

That's a long time, 30 years in one business.

And I feel that I know what I'm doing at all times.

Now, listen. I want you to shine that stuff so I can see my face in it.

And no daydreaming like you always do.

I'm giving you 5 bucks a day, and I want to see results. You understand?

Yes, Mr. Boswell. I'll get right on it.

Oh, yeah, Mr. B. I'll get right on it.

5 bucks a day. And that's not hay.

Alright, alright.

I don't know why I take these pills. They make me feel worse.

Master, are you call? What is your command?

What.. what... What did you say?

Who are you? Where you from? I mean--

Are you talking to me? What do you want?

I am the genie of the lamp. And you are my master.

What do you mean... my master? Are you crazy?

Make any wish and it will come true.

Oh, boy, I got a whole bunch of wishes. Just let me think.

There are so many things I can wish for.

Is this where do you live?

Oh, no, no I work here when I'm not in school.

We classify poor. Mom works. That's what she can.

Granddad spends his pension betting on horses almost every day.

Owes most of the money though Monty Siracusa.

Anyway, he's the one my mom plays piano for.

He's got some kind of hold on her.

Well, I mean, that's because of granddad, I guess.

I mean, I try to help out, but I'm not much good at anything because.

Sorry, master, I didn't understand one word.

You now have the lamp, you can have anything you want.

All you have to say is "I want". Remember.

- I'm dreaming this. - You're not dreaming.

- Why don't you try? - Try what?

Say... you want me to be... invisible.

I want you to be invisible.

- Now say: "visible!" - I want you to be visible.

You got it?

Invisible! Visible!

Invisible! Visible!

Master, you intend keeping this up for long?

- I'm wasting a lot of energy. - Sorry.

How much is all insurance? The whole thing?

How much? Hold on a second. Hold on a second.

I don't believe it. Everything is going up for money.

These electronic things drive me bananas.

My old stuff is better.

I'll find out what's going on here, and we'll see how it works out.

Too much, pal. Too much. You're way out of line, pally.

- Well... - Hey, slowpoke, you finished yet?

Mr. Boss, you gotta hide.

No danger, only you can see me if you want.

Invisible, invisible.

Who are you talking to?

Oh, nobody, Mr. Boswell.

I finished everything now. Can... Can I go?

You ought to stay for another hour, but if you want to go, it suits me.

But you're only getting $2.50 for the day, you understand?

- How old are you, my sir? - 14.

- What's your name? - Al Haddin.

- Al what? - Al Haddin.

- Why, what's the funny? - Oh, nothing.

Who do you live with?

Mom and grandfather. That is my dad's father.

- Where is your father? - I don't know. He died when I was six.

- Friends? - Yeah, Danny Esposito.

But he disappeared the other day. No one knows where he went.

You know, I guess his mom and dad, they're worried sick about him.

- Do you have any other friends? - Oh, no.

The other guys, They don't want to know me.

- What about the sports? - Yeah, well, I do play some basketball,

but I'd really love to be a water skiing champ.

You got the girl?

Oh, no. Well, the only girl I like. She's with another guy.

There, that guy. Red Foster.

- I want you to be invisible. - I am invisible, master.

- Hey, look who's there! - Chicken out!

Hey, kid, I hear your grandfather lost his last pair of shorts on a horse.

Can't waste him.

Go ahead. No one's stopping you.

One more word, you creeps about my mom and my grandpa.

I'll take you all apart, you understand?

Time out, guys. This won't take all of us.

Ohh. What were you gonna do?

Thanks a lot, Tay. You know that?

A fortune cookie is better than you.

Why?

What do you mean why?! Didn't you see what he did to me?

You know that's Red. He's the meanest kid on the block.

Hold it. Hold it. What did you ask me before?

I asked you if I can go beat up on those four.

I answer, "Go ahead. No one is stopping you."

You should have said, "I want!" Remember.

Really. OK, I want to go beat up on those guys.

That's lucky. Go ahead.

- Hey, brat, the ball! - Come and get it. If you got the guts!

- I'm gonna make you eat it. - You're gonna what?

Oh, thanks a lot, Genie, man. You're the greatest.

Sit down.

- Where are we going now? - Oh, home, I guess.

Oh, you can't come dressed like that.

I want you to change your clothes.

A-OK!

- Hey, you're house is far? - Oh, to the other side of town.

Can you either hop a camel or a couple of horses?

- No need. We drive. - And what?

You know, we drive and, one of those.

I've been meaning to ask you about those boxes.

Oh, those are automobiles. You know, we use them to get around.

Oh, I got it. It's like a magic carpet on wheels. Now, what is yours?

- I don't have one. - Why?

- Because... I'm poor. - You're poor, that's funny.

- Do you want one? - Is Pope Catholic?

- What? - Oh, never mind.

It's, you know, it's just an expression people use.

You know, it's another way of saying yes.

Hey,... What are you waiting for?

Well, all right, let me see.

Well, all right, first of all, it's got to be a real big car, you know.

I mean, you got to fit into it, too.

The one my dad always dreamed about. What was that car?

You know, You know the one that famous rock stars drive?

I want... I want... I want a Rolls Royce.

Holly cow!

Holly cow.

- You drive. I can't. - What?

Can't you drive?

Well, I never saw that none of this,

but you bless me with an order, you'll see.

I want you to be as good as any Indy driver.

OK, come on, let's go.

- Hey, kid, you lose your driver? - No way, man. It's right over here!

Genius become visible.

- Hi! - Fall out. Ghostbusters.

Where are we? I don't recognize anything.

Miami, Florida.

- Is that far from Baghdad? - Baghdad?

- What year is this? - 1986.

200 years without work. That's a long vacation.

- What do we do now? - There's nothing we can do now.

Take a look at this mess. Well, I guess I'll just have to wait.

- Do you want to wait, master? - Well, what do you want me to do?

What is your imagination? What do you want me to do?

Okay, I want to get out of here.

We're flying! We're flying!

Genius. I can't believe it. I mean, what?

We're in the air, Jeannie. This is amazing. We're flying.

I can't believe it. This is awesome. Hey, how are you doing down there?

This is amazing. I mean, the people, there's still such a traffic.

Genie, how did you do this? It's incredible.

Genie, look out the bridge!

Hey, look how small everything is down there. Genie, you're the greatest.

Hey, Genie, look at those skyscrapers over there.

Isn't this amazing? I can't believe this.

I mean, this is the greatest. People can't believe their eyes.

- But, what are you doing there? - No, please.

I want you to save him!

Genie, come on. Step on it. Hurry up.

He's got over there. Hurry up. Hurry up.

Don't worry. Everything's gonna be all right. Just hang on a sec.

- Hey, what are you doing there? - I was just thrown off the building

by a couple of Monty Siracusa's men.

I didn't have the $5000 to pay the protection racket.

Monty Siracusa. Is he the man your mom works for?

- Yeah, that's him. - He wrecked my store.

Threat my family. But there was no way

I could lay my hands on that kind of money.

So. So he sent his boys up to me. And what am I doing here?

Hey, would it be asking too much if you give me a ride?

OK. I'm sorry. Sure. Come in.

Gosh, thanks. You just saved my life.

- Who are you? - Friends.

Wait, I got it. I'm dead!

I hit the sidewalk and I'm on my way to heaven. You guys are angels.

- Hey, what this? - 5000 dollars!

- For me? - Yes.

$5,000! That's what all I needed! It's incredible! Now I can go home.

- Thank you! Thanks, thanks! - No problem.

- Bye! - Bye-bye! Thanks!

That's her, the girl I was talking about.

Her name's Patricia.

Oh, listen, Genie. I'd really like to get her a present.

I don't know. A necklace. Maybe. You know,

- Say I want. - OK, I want a necklace for Patricia.

- You happy now? - And some.

- Hey, look! - Oh, Patricia!

Al Haddin! What are you doing driving around a chauffeur, in a Rolls Royce?

- Oh, It's mine! - Yours?

- Did you rob a bank or win the lottery? - My grandfather got lucky with a horse.

You'll probably lose it on the next one.

Really, Al, if you only had more going for you.

I, uh, got a present for you.

- Did you like it? - Hey, not bad.

- Well, don't I deserve a kiss? - Don't be ridiculous.

I want a kiss.

Watch your language, Janet? That's no way to talk to your father.

I'll watch my language, Dad, just as soon as

you stop with horses, raising, and your bookie.

Oh, you say every day has a D in them?

Oh, every day has a D in them?

Well, what about what about Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday?

Yeah, yeah, okay, Dad. Where's Al?

He ain't home yet.

What do you mean he's not there yet?

He's a bigger worry than you are.

Have him call me when he gets back,

and try not to empty the bottle. See you later!

I don't like people who work for me sitting on the phone.

I'm sorry, Mr. Siracusa, but that was my father.

- Jeremiah! Does he still talk? - Of course he can talk!

What do you mean?

Huck and Chuck must have got held up.

I sent them over to convince him to pay his debt. He owes me a bundle.

Don't worry. They won't hurt him... much, if you're nice to me.

- Mr. Siracusa,... - Call me Monty.

Mr. Siracusa, I'd rather be nice to a rat.

What's wrong with you? I'm not such a bad-looking guy.

And I can make something out of your life.

All you gotta do is take one little step.

In your bedroom. Forget it!

Al, where did you get that car?

Oh, you're gonna believe it anyway, Grandpa. Where's Mom?

Who do you know where she is? She's at the River Gate.

She said that you should call her when you get in.

- Hey, Al. Who's your friend? - He's the driver, Grandpa.

I'll call mom from my room now. It won't be long.

Anybody who's a friend of Al's is a friend of mine.

So come on in and have a drink.

I got some booze that's 12 years old,

and way to try this.

Did you have anything older?

The only thing around here that's any older is me.

- You're too young. - You're a great.

- Hey, do me a favor! - Tell them I'm out!

Tell them I'm out!

- Where's Jeremiah? - He told me to tell you he was out.

- He leave the bread with you? - Bread? You hungry?

Hey, don't play dumb with us.

- You guys are wasting our time. - Right?

Let's get him a present to remember.

Wait, Mom. Hold on a second, all right?

- Look what's going on! - You know what to do.

I want you to stop them.

Now, I want you to put back everything the way it was.

- Did you see that, Chuck? - I can't believe it.

- They gone? - Yeah.

Oh, mom's still on the phone.

- Hi! - Hi!

Hey, I forgot to tell him that my power's switched off at night.

- It's dark already. - What did you say?

- I said, I don't work at night. - Oh, union rules.

You work 8 hours a day.

and anything else is triple time. Is that right?

Yeah... more or less. I gotta go.

- It's the first door to the left. - Thank you.

- Where's the genie? - The who?

The chauffeur. Where'd he go?

I don't know, I don't know. I think he went that way.

Yeah, I'm sure he did, Grandpa. Well, I know how to get him back.

You want me to believe that this is Al Haddin car?

Like I said, officer, the boy turned up

here less than a half hour ago with his driver.

I don't buy that. Now, who's is this?

What, did somebody win at the lottery? What's going on here?

- Hi, Sergeant O'Connor. - What's the story on the car?

Where'd you get it? Who gave it to you?

Did you buy it? steal it?

- No, I didn't steal it. - Well, is it or isn't it yours?

Well, of course it's his and it's it's mine.

It's in the whole family.

In fact, it was left to us by some distant relative.

And we're gonna sell it pretty soon, aren't we?

All right, all right. We'll discuss the car later.

- You, uh, recognize this? - Yeah.

- Where'd you get it? - I found it!

- Yeah, expect me to believe that? - That's a family heirloom.

- Why did you give it to my daughter? - Because I wanted to.

- Why? I mean, is it a crime? - It's a crime.

A kid like you owning a Rolls-Royce.

You know, my guess is you're up to no good.

Now, I am going to be watching you.

O'Connor, it's not stolen, not registered, the car's not even built.

What the hell am I looking at, chopped liver?

- How did it get here? - My buddy...

He's gone. He said he doesn't work nights.

I want to see your buddy tomorrow.

And as far as this car's concerned, it's impounded.

You're going to have this back.

You stay away from my daughter.

- You understand? - Yes, Sergeant.

- Tony! - Yeah.

I've got something good for you today.

What do you got? An old clock or worn out shoes?

It's a genuine antique.

It's gotta be worth at least 10 bucks.

Let me see that. 10 bucks. 10 bucks.

- It's mine! - Huh?

- You heard me. That's mine. - Oh, no. That's a family heirloom.

I'll give you a family heirloom. That's mine. I picked it up at the wharf.

And your no-good grandson ripped it off.

You make sure you don't come around here and get her out and call the cops.

- And besides, he's fired. - I didn't know anything about it.

- Hey Tony? - What is it?

Maybe you can lend me a couple bucks.

Get out of here. Beat it, will you?

Get out of here. I want nothing to do with you bandits.

- How about that one buck? - Nothing, I told you. Get out of the store.

50 cents?

Nothing. Can't you hear anything I'm telling you?

- A quarter? - Nothing!

Wake up, Al, school. Breakfast is ready.

Come on, out of bed.

- Where's my lamp? - What lamp?

My lamp. I put it right here last night. Where is it?

Yeah, Granddad took off with it.

Oh, tell you. He's was going to sell it to--

What's his name? That junk deal.

"Tony Boswell". What's important about the lamp?

Look, Mama, you just wouldn't understand, all right?

Just believe me, all right, Mama,

I just gotta get that lamp back, all right? I gotta go.

- Hello Mr. Boswell. - What are you doing here?

You're fired, you little punk.

If you're lucky, I'll turn you to the cause of steal in the lamp.

I don't ever want to see you again. Get out of here.

Now, Tony, come here.

Hey, what do you say? What do you got for me?

Hey! Hey Get over here with that lamp!

Get that kid with that lamp! Get that kid out of here!

You'll pay!

Good morning, master!

I rubbed the lamp all night. Where were you?

Sleeping, sleeping. I was sleeping.

I forgot to tell you something very important.

I am the opposite from Dracula.

I don't work nights. That's when I lose my powers.

So I can fulfill your wishes.

Do you have to disappear?

No, I can stay with you, but like any normal man.

- A friend. - Well, I prefer to stay.

OK.

It's Tony Boswell! I want to keep the lamp!

I got you, little thieving animal.

I'm gonna teach you to try and rip me off, you understand?

I'm gonna give you something you never got before, you hear?

- What a... What did you hit me with? - With this?

No way, no way. It's impossible.

Hit me again. Hit me again! Get, hit me again!

- Everything all right? - Oh, just fine. Oh, we're late.

- For what? - The big game at school.

Let's go.

My kids haven't make a basket in so long,

they've forgotten what it looks like.

My best player.

Oh, great. At this rate, I'll be sending in the cheerleaders.

Look at the scoreboard, guys. We gotta get something going here.

- Can you go back in? - No.

Coach, can I play?

Oh, you're gonna put a stop to this rock?

I can try.

Haddin, you've never played basketball in your life.

I know, but all I have to do is just put the ball in the basket, right?

Right. Nothing to it.

Come on, Coach, what have you got to lose?

Nothing. It's already lost. All right, go ahead and suit that.

Genie, I want to play great basketball, and I want my team to win, all right?

Look! It's chicken out.

GUEST: 56 HOME: 9

Cool, thanks!

GUEST: 56 HOME: 12

GUEST: 56 HOME: 40

GUEST: 56 HOME: 57

What's the problem?

I was gonna call you. I don't have a dime to pay for this.

How many piastras did you need?

Dollar, Genie, dollar. This is America, remember?

I don't know, um, maybe five covers.

Thanks!

Do you want me to take you home?

Oh, no, thanks, Genie.

I think we're going to go for a nice romantic walk.

Well, in that case, I'm going to eat an ice cream. See you later.

All right.

- Is your chauffeur's name Genie? - What?

Oh, no, no. I mean, yes, he is.

I mean, Genie is short for, Eugenie. That's it.

- Can I have a big one? - Yes, sir.

- Here you go. - Thank you!

You're welcome.

You're late with your insurance payment this month.

Yeah, yeah, I know, but I've been fixing the place up.

Nice, no? And well, to tell the truth, I'm kind of low this week.

Oh, that's too bad. Then I guess we got to do some work on you.

Make you think twice next time!

That'll do for now.

We'll be back at the end of the month for the double premium.

Hey!

You look so cute.

I can almost give you a good licking.

Hmm, that's pretty good.

Hey, you saw nothing,

you heard nothing, and you say nothing.

Got it, fatso?

Right here, Sir.

This is the one-way street you're going down.

You know that?

- Well, it's only going one way. - Oh, you're a comedian.

No, everyone's going one way. Look.

Yes, Sir. But see, they're going one way from there to there,

the right way into one way.

And you're going from this way to that way,

the wrong way into one way, sir.

And for that, I'm going to have to give you a ticket.

- Is that good or bad? - It depends.

Let me see your driver's license, sir.

Sure, with pleasure, if you tell me what it is?

Oh, my God. Look, Sir.

Follow this motorcycle right here, Sir.

Straight downtown.

and the "sticky one" will explain it all to you once we get there.

- Follow me, Sir. - OK.

It was really neat, Al. Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow.

- OK, bye. - Bye!

- Bye. - See you later.

Bye.

Hey, what do you guys want in? Get off, get off me!

Help! Help me! Help!

Help me! What do you guys want? Help!

What are you doing here?

Your car is not registered. You have no ID.

And you don't know your name. Is that correct?

- Well, not exactly. - Let me ask you again.

What is your name? And when and where were you born?

My name is Genie of the Lamp,

and I was born on January 1, 1685.

You know you can get two years for disrespecting the law?

Just a moment, please. Excuse me, sir.

Genie of the Lamp.

Date of birth: January 1, 1685.

Correct, sir.

You can't fool us forever. Give me his prints.

- Yes, sir. - These aren't prints. They're blods.

Right, Lieutenant. He doesn't have any prints.

What do you mean he hasn't got any prints?

That's impossible. Give me your hand.

I can't believe it. He hasn't got any prints.

Some gangland plastic surgeon wiped them off, huh?

- No. No. No. - No? That's not going to stop us.

We're going to get to the truth. Now, where were you headed

- when Officer Alden here stopped you? - Oh, listen Stickler...

Stickler! You got a nerve calling me that. Who told you?

- Him. - Lock him up!

And you keep your big mouth shut next time, huh?

Yes, Sir. Yes, Sir.

- Get out of here! - Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Find yourself a place and lie down.

Okay, you kids, go to sleep.

We got 'em all ages. Whatever you want, three to 15.

Red, yellow, black, you name it, whatever you want.

- We just got the kid. - Listen, we just got in a fresh one.

Gorgeous. Dark blonde hair, blue eyes.

15 years old. Right, okay.

I'll ship them off to New Australia in the morning.

Al, is that you?

Danny?

- What are you doing here? - Same as you, I guess.

Same as all of us here. We were kidnapped.

But why? I mean, we don't have any money.

I don't know. Every now and then, they come and they take one of us away.

- Did they ever come back? - No. I'm scared, Al.

All right, don't worry about it.

Listen, by the time it's daylight, I can get us all out of here with this.

Did they ever come I said slave! Not talk!

One more word and I'll set the dogs on you.

Knock it over there!

- Good morning, Mr. Lamp. - Good morning.

Now that you had a nice rest, you ready to talk?

- What do you want me to say? - The truth.

Yeah, the truth is I gotta go.

What do you mean you gotta go?

This isn't a hotel. You just can't come and go whenever you want.

My master calls me. I must obey. Bye-bye!

Come on, kid, you're leaving.

Good morning, my sir!

Get that clown out of here!

I want you to turn them into pigs.

You want me to believe that a guy, with no name, no prints...

just vanished into thin air like some kind of ghost?

Yes, sir. That's exactly what happened, sir.

Do you know if there have been any UFO sightings recently?

He might be an alien. Or a super robot invented by the enemy.

- He didn't look like a robot to me, sir. - How do you know?

Have you met a lot of robots? Get out there and find him,

even if I have to turn the city upside down.

Yes sir.

I want to say thank you again to Al and his good friend Eugene,

for bringing my boy home!

"Salut"! Enjoy your pizza.

How did you find the kidnappers, Eugene?

- Well, I... - I told you, Mom.

He saw them grab me and then he followed them right into their hideout.

- Right, Eugene? - Yes, and so...

then he waited for the right moment and bang, he moved right in on him.

I mean, honestly, he caught them right by surprise.

They didn't know what hit him. Come on, tell her, Eugene. Come on.

- Where are you from? - Mom, why all these questions?

I mean, he works for a car rental company.

Gets around a lot. Tell, Eugene.

- I was born 300... - Miles from here.

His company specializes in weddings, receptions, you know, meeting big shots.

- Come on, tell her, Eugene. - I come from...

a long line of chauffeurs. When he's done

with work. That's when he lends me the car.

- Tell her, Eugene. - My first master was...

First. After that, he moved to another car rental

company because that's because, you know,

they offered him a better job. Tell, Eugene.

Yeah, but if you say what I have to say,

how can I say what you say?

Excuse me.

Hey, you owe us some money, Jackie.

I don't have it all. I I can give you some.

The boss doesn't like delay payments, Pizza Head.

- What do you want? - I'm the fat so, remember me?

- The guy you told to shut up. - So?

Well, I shut up, but I get nervous.

So what?

- Eugene. I don't know what to say. - Oh, never mind.

- Excuse me. - You don't talk much,

- but you sure get your point across. - Well, to tell her you're the truth...

Well, you tell all to her.

You know, it's really neat you walk into school like this,

like you are my dad.

You, uh, could marry mom.

I am old enough to be her great-great-great-grandfather.

Well, with all those greats, you gotta make a great dad.

Right, Al. Hey.

Just a moment. I feel something wrong.

- Make me invisible. - I want you to be invisible.

All right, kid. I told you I was going to keep an eye on you.

- You got him. - Give him his lamp back and fast.

Be careful. He packs a mean right-handers kid.

Come on. Come on Come on. Hand it over.

- Hold it! - Who are you? What precinct?

- Your name a precinct, now! - O'Connor, 2nd District.

That's the spirit! The kid is clean.

Clean? Since when is it OK to take something without paying for it?

- It's a loan. - It's a loan? I don't...

How much do you wish to give this gentleman?

Oh. I don't know... maybe...

- Five dollars? - Five dollars?

I bought and sold that for more than five dollars!

OK, OK. Don't be so tight. He's right.

Be generous, give 50-100. You can afford it.

- Is it okay? - Perfect, thanks Sergeant!

- Goodbye, sir! - Now, wait a minute.

You sure there's no law being broken here?

Sure, I am sure. Do you want to have to?

What, here, now? In broad daylight, in front of everybody? Are you crazy?

Well, I-- that's right.

Calling all cars. Calling all cars.

Intercept Black Dodge, license number 4768,

carry three men who are armed and dangerous.

They throw a bomb into a store at Biscayne Boulevard.

Come in, get in, that's an order!

I want you to go. I'll wait here.

Quickly radio some help.

I tell you radio some help.

- May I call Baghdad? - Cut the comedy.

- Collect, of course, - Follow orders.

- Help! Help! Help! - I'll have you pull off the force!

Give me that!

This is X14. Intercepting suspect vehicle.

I'm in pursuit along vehicle on Washington Avenue.

Washington Avenue.

- Shoot! Shoot! - What?

Your gun, for Christ's sake, your gun!

This?

Not at me, you turkey, at them, them!

Geez.

What in the hell are you doing?

- They're tires, they're tires! - Tires?

- Hey, it doesn't work. - I'm gonna cry. Reload it.

Hold it. Hold it right there. We'll open fire.

Attention. Attention to the building. Come out.

You have 10 seconds! Come out with your hands up!

You stay right here and keep out of the way.

I'm going to see you up before the judge.

Right.

Where do you think you're going? Get back in the car. Get down!

Hold your fire, hold you fire!

One of them is coming in.

That's Fatso. He's a cop. He must have kept us under surveillance.

Sergeant, here they are.

Knuckleheads, I pay you to collect protection premiums.

Crack a head or two, and you dummies get yourself arrested.

It cost me 300 grand to get you out.

I had to buy some major political muscle.

Look, boss, if it hadn't been for that cop.

What Cop? They're all working for me.

But, boss, this guy's different. He's new, undercover.

Use the chauffeur's uniform.

He's been after us for a while.

Yeah, he's the one made us eat pizza last night.

This guy's good.

You know, we blasted him from zero range.

Nothing, just kept on coming.

Cops wear bulletproof vest, you apes.

Get out of here! Hey, wait a minute.

I want to meet this guy. Every man has his price.

Hey, it's gonna stay all night, right? 12 o'clock, huh?

OK, have a good time.

Bye-bye.

- Hey... you, Aren't you the-- - Yeah! The cop is my twin brother.

- Unless that here is another Rolls. - Then I'll impounding this one too!

Oh, come on, Daddy. We'll be late for the championships.

Tough. You can walk.

Ok. No problem. Let's go, guys.

Bye daddy, see you tonight!

What's wrong, honey?

I don't know, but I think it's serious.

What's the number of your analyst?

Hi, everybody. This is Carl Heinz, welcoming you back to

Lakeside for the second-half of this year's Water Ski Championship program.

After this morning's eliminations, only two skiers are left in the running.

Last year's winner, Red Foster and Al Haddin.

You're crazy, Al. You've never been in a water ski in your life.

- I mean, you don't even know how to swim. - No sweat, Danny.

I'm going to make Red look like a fish out of water.

I'll win that trophy. Stem out our feet. Right, Eugene?

- Right. - Well, I'll see you two later.

- I'll be rooting for you. - Thanks a lot, pal.

Bye-bye.

- Well, you need something? - Oh, yeah. And I remember, Genie.

I want everybody to be champs, but I want to be the best.

No problem, master. As long as I keep an eye on you, you'll be the champ.

All right.

There's Red on the water now, warming up.

After his win after you, Red is the best favorite to pull it off the dish.

Look at him go!

Hey, Red's going good out there today, huh?

Your grandson will never beat this kid, Red.

He's too strong. Too strong.

You're all wet. Al's gonna win.

Al's gonna win, Al's gonna win.

You wanna put your money away about this?

- Sure! - Yeah.

- 500 bucks! - 500!

Al Haddin turn to warm up.

Looking good!

- No, no, I'll bet 1000. - 1000? OK, you got it.

- Excuse me. - Hi.

Hi!

- Why are you staring at me? - Oh, me?

You look familiar. Are you Sinbad the sailor's girl?

- Sinbad? - Yeah.

No, my man is a sailor, but his name is

Clark and he's on duty at the Nimitz.

He's very jealous, but I don't think he'd

mind if you'd offer me a drink at the bar.

OK!

Oops!

There goes Al, taking a nasty spill.

That's you kissing your money goodbye, Pally.

Ah, he's just trying to confuse the competition.

- Thanks a lot, Genius. - Oh, master.

You're right, perfectly right. It's all my fault.

- Yeah, well, uh, what went wrong? - I was distracted by this girl.

She looks like someone I met in Damascus 300 years ago.

But anyway, don't worry. When it comes down to the real thing, I'll--

First contestant, please get ready.

That was a great performance by Red Foster, who just over 48 points.

Enjoy yourself, Al.

- Now it's Al Haddin's turn! - You'll see!

Only two minutes of our now between the two.

Now I really want to see.

Stay in the lead, or you will be disqualified.

Uh, yeah, I just have to put on the helmet.

All right.

A single body quiz.

A backward somersault!

And look at that! Al picked up his

left ski and there goes the other one!

Barefoot jump! That's something!

And the 1986 Waterski champion with a score of 50 points is Al Hayden.

Al, he won! Give me the money!

Al, that was fantastic, I didn't know it was so good.

- Yeah, well... - Well, I had to go to work.

- Work, why so early? - Today is the last day of the month,

and that means payday. And I intend to quit.

See you later, Dad.

You know my friend, you know, you're drunk.

- Who me? - Yeah.

I don't understand.

I've never drink this stuff before. I normally drink... cachaca.

Caja? Cajakski? What is that? Is that a drink?

A mixture of yogurt, salt...

- and sulfurous water. - God, that sounds awful!

You know, I'd much rather just drink, just drink beer.

- You know something? - What?

Me too.

You know, to think in the beginning,

I didn't like you. I thought you were weird.

- What was? - A real yo-yo.

Well, I kind of understand that. I mean, I tend to be shy sometimes.

Not shy. A real dummy. A knucklehead. A nerd.

- A yuck? - Yes, exactly.

Oh, I, I liked you right from the start.

Um, I think it's time I went home. Or dad will have a fit.

- Okay, I'll walk you. - Sure.

- Just the two of us, huh? - Yeah, you're gonna drink.

I'm gonna drink? I'll drink as much as you will drink.

May I help you?

- Well, yeah, you can help this man. - Give him a bigger glass.

That's the biggest we got.

What about that?

Well, that's not a glass.

That is a glass.

- Now that's both sides. - Right. All right. Let's go.

No, No, no, no, not that way. In here.

Oh, isn't that beautiful? Isn't that pretty?

Look at that. Oh, looks like ice cream.

Oh. That's, that's, that's enough.

- Now don't forget down the hatch. - Of course.

Wow. Hey, wow. Boy, look at that.

Wow. ohh Hey, Hey pal, it's, it's a Fleetwood. Flatfeet.

What's there, the tribe of Indians?

No, no, no, no. It's, It's them, the cops.

- What do they want? - They want us to stop.

Why do they want us to stop?

I don't know. Why do we stop and ask?

Good idea.

- Let me see your driver's license. - My name is Eugene.

I have no registration,

no driver's license, no fingerprints.

Can we go now?

A real wise guy, huh? Bring me the box.

Come on, step out of the car, please.

Oh, all right.

- Here, blow into this. - Why?

Because you were exceeding the speed limit and you're drunk.

Hey, blow. Blow.

Stinks like a beer hall.

Hey, Al, Al?

- The cops arrested the Eugene. - Why?

- For drunken driving. - Oh, Grandpa...

Well, how was I supposed to know that the guy can't hold his booze?

All right, just don't worry about it. I'll get him out, okay?

Ohh You get him out. Who do you think you are?

Rambo, Rumbo? It's not easy to get someone out of jail,

especially when they're drunk.

Hey, Jeremiah. The boss wants to see you.

Well, that's all right. I can pay. I got the money.

It's not the money he's interested in.

It's something he wants to discuss with you.

Come on!

Cockroaches! This place is like a garbage can.

- Are you sure it's him? - Yes, sir.

My men picked him up on the freeway about half an hour ago.

He was driving like crazy, dead drunk. And there was another guy with him.

- An enemy agent? - No, an American drunk.

- Stay here. - This way, sir.

- This him? - Yes, sir.

So, you don't have any fingerprints, huh?

That's what everyone keeps telling me.

- Who is your paymaster? - I have a master, but--

- I work for free. - The dedicated type, huh?

- Listen, friend, the lieutenant here... - The stickler!

...he swears you vanished in front of him.

If that is true, what is the trick?

No, no trick, is true. But it's very, very hard to explain.

It's a long, long story.

Oh, well, well, well. I have a long time in this world.

- I'm listening. - Oh yeah?

Once upon a time...

- I have to go! - Go?

But you haven't even started the story.

Excuse me, Sir, but my master call me and I have to go.

Who is your master? Go on, grab him.

What are you doing? He's disappeared.

Come on Genius!

You called me, master?

Oh, Genie. Grandpa said you've been arrested.

You call me just in time.

A few more minutes, so we'll mean goodbye until tomorrow morning.

What's the problem?

Monty Siracusa has Mom and Grandpa ram there.

- Where? - In here. At the River Gate.

Here is the service entrance.

Now, either I get some answers out of you two or you're in deep trouble.

Who's the chauffeur? Who's he work for? Is he a cop?

He's not a cop. e's my grandson's chauffer.

I'm warning you. Don't push me.

Where's he from? The Corleone family?

They've been trying to get into my territory for years.

Kids just don't get given a Rolls Royce for nothing.

- My son did. - Your lover gave it to you.

- You shouldn't have done that, girl. - You can't talk to my--

Genie, I want you to go waste them.

Easier said than done.

- Why? - I told you, I lose my powers at night.

I'm like any cho in the street. Yeah,

bud, come on. I mean, we're a big job.

We go in there and scare them to death. Please, Genie!

I mean, you see what they're doing to Mom and Grandpa?

Okay, let's go for it.

- Mom, is everything okay? - Yes, let's get out of here.

- Just one moment, please. - Hey, Boss, it's him!

- The pizza cop. - So, you're the boss.

The guy who sends these creeps around

to squeeze money on the people.

Hey, who are you calling a creep, huh?

You and your friends.

What's it to you what I do? Who sent you?

I wanted to tell you some things.

ONE: I don't like the way you treat women.

TWO: I don't like your insurance company and money-collecting methods.

THREE: I don't like your piggy face.

So I look like a pig? What about them?

They all got piggy faces.

The police, emergency!

Send cops over, over, over to the River Gate nightclub.

On 24th Street, right away.

The game's over, fatso! Freeze!

Oh, here you are, you little troublemaker.

Hey look, it's not my fault. We got to do it to me. It's not my fault.

Well, the guy will wreck my place. Where is he?

Alright, Fatso! Come out! Where are you? Show yourself.

Here I'm, piggy face!

Wow. Are you sure you don't have any powers at night?

Absolutely.

- Wherever he is. Don't let him get away. - Hi, Stickler.

- Arrest this man! - No, his not the one!

He's the one. Arrest Monty Siracusa.

He's the big boss!

Yeah, granddad's right.

Hey, you know, my friend right over here,

- he broke up the whole gang. - Will you all shut up?

Arrest everybody and make fast!

- All right, get up here. - Get up here like that.

See?

A major protection racket has been destroyed, thanks to you.

And there are many victims who have agreed to appear in court for testimony,

so guaranteeing long jail terms for its leaders.

A special word of thanks to the man who made the call to the police.

- It was me, I did! - Very well done.

You will receive a reward for apprehension the gang.

I would like to have a word with you in private.

Why, Private?

Oh, there is nothing to worry.

It's just that you are different from the others.

And I'd like to ask you a few questions of a confidential nature.

- Would you follow me, please? - Hey, excuse me, Chief,

but about that reward?

Can you tell me about how much, more or less?

I really don't know. Maybe in the region of 100,000.

Give or take a few dollars.

- This way! - A 100 thousand dollars!

- Oh my God! - Grandpa, take it easy!

Give me a drink.

Just think what we can do with $100,000!

Yeah. Like, play the horses.

No, no, none of that. No, I'm gonna invest it,

I'm gonna make the money work for me,

and I got a great idea going around in my head.

- Oh, It's wonderful! - Listen, mom, I--

- I forgot something. I gotta go... - Al, what...?

So let him go, and when we get home,

we'll talk it all over, and we'll decide what we're gonna do.

You're gonna stop drinking, though, eh?

Almost through. We're almost through.

Bear with us a moment longer, Eugene.

The tests are pretty conclusive.

He's got a heart the size of an 18-wheeler.

No blood, no spleen, no liver.

Three stomachs.

The electrocardiogram and the electroencephalogram

came up with a big fat zero.

And the skin appears to be of a rubbery substance.

Gentlemen, we must discover what makes the man tick.

That leaves us with only one alternative.

Operate.

Thank you, Eugene.

Doctor, we'll go to Program 5 next.

Thank you.

May I have more?

I don't believe it! I don't believe it!

He likes chloroform!

A moment longer, Eugene. There's been a slight hitch.

Nurse, go to program six.

Ah, good. Very good.

- What is that? - Another test.

There was enough pentathol in that syringe to put an elephant to sleep.

- And now, sir? - I don't know.

- So, may I have something to drink? - Of course.

Coca-Cola, all right?

The incision will be made from the throat to the groin,

and an in-depth study will be made of his innards.

I don't think he's a man. He's a robot.

If you think he's a robot, perhaps we should start with his skull.

Good thinking. Good thinking. Make the incision!

No, don't do it!

He's my friend.

- What are you doing in here? - Please, don't storms. Please.

Get out, boy. We are making history.

He's not what you think he is. He's the genie.

The genie of the lamp. This. This is it. Aladdin's lamp.

You see, I can make him come and go whatever I want.

Nonsense. Get him out here.

Wait a minute, look. It's six o'clock.

Daytime. Watch this.

- You called me, master. - You bet, I did, Genius!

You've got to show them who you are.

You, uh... You want me to turn him into a monkey?

What?

I want you to turn him into a monkey.

What breed in particular?

An orangutan.

Oh my!

What are you doing Brown? What's this joke?

- I want him back to what he was! - Brown, are you crazy?

- I'm sorry, sir! - Sorry, Stickler. one, it wasn't my idea.

- Who did that? - I did, sir.

My young master ordered me chief, and his word is law.

You see, sir, he really is the famous genie from Aladdin's lamp.

- And this is the lamp. - Are you a magician? A medium?

- An Indian guru? - No, I'm just an old genius.

Can you conjure up gold, immense wealth, people from afar?

- Yeah! - Like that?

Where's your wife?

- On vacation in Europe. - I want Mrs. Shelton here.

It's about time, Arthur.

Where have you been? I spent three hours trying to call you yesterday.

When I finally get you, all you can say is bye.

I'm busy. Busy? You since when?

What's so busy? You can't stop to talk to your wife?

I know what you're playing at, sending me away on vacation.

Although you've got a lover, that no-good Betty Sailor.

I don't know what you see in her.

- Always lusting after... - Send her back to Europe, please.

I want her sent back to Europe.

- Well, my son. Let's hit the road. - No. Oh, no, no, no.

I need you.

You can do me a great service!

These are the Russian and American missile bases.

I want you to turn them into coffins.

They're submarines into giant lollipops.

They're tanks into Big Macs.

They're nuclear aircraft carriers into floating recreation centers.

The only missile base I want you to leave intact is that one in Canada.

which just so happens to be under my command.

That way I can become the most powerful man in the world.

Give the order, and let me see how fast I receive confirmation from my agents

spread around the four corners of the globe.

What are you waiting for? This is a golden opportunity.

Give the order!

Sorry, but I'm afraid not.

Our magic is... For the good of mankind.

What should that power in the hands of only one man.

Someone like yourself, in this case,

- is asking for trouble. - That's a lot of hogwash.

If you don't carry out my orders immediately,

I'll have you before a firing squad before you can say...

..."Abracadabra".

Master, I don't know about you.

I have heard enough. Let's get out of here.

- How? Do you have an idea? - We're sitting on it.

Come back here!

This is an emergency. I repeat, emergency!

I want fifth chopper wing in the air now.

A magic carpet just flew out of my office window.

Where are we going?

The Bermuda Deep, I have an idea. I hope you'll like it.

Sure I will. What is it?

I would like you to turn the lamp into the Bermuda Dip.

It's 5,000 fathom, so nobody can find it.

Why do you want me to do this?

The lamp in your hands was a truck of luck.

- It could never be repeated. - Hey, Genie, look!

You see? Imagine the lamp in his hands.

Catch them! Catch them! He has the lamp!

That's where the power is!

Hey, Genie, hurry up! The helicopters are coming, look!

Don't worry, master!

Come on, let's go!

Genie! Help, Genie!

- Thanks. - Okay?

Thanks.

- Here we go, master. - Yahoo!

The copter's slowing down again. Look.

Hey, Genie, look, they're still here. You think they'll catch us?

- It's up to you. - I want them to crash!

- You sure? - No, No I don't want them to crash.

I want them to slow down. Really slow down.

You got it.

Hey, look! The Bermuda deep! Throw the lamp!

What's gonna happen to you?

Well, I will follow the lamp's destiny. The ocean deep forever.

- Why? - Because I'm not human.

Genie, you see, you don't understand.

You're wrong. I can still make you human.

- I have the lamp! - Do you really want to?

Did you girls know that this place belongs to me?

- Really? - Right, I, I won it.

Honest, I did. Honest.

Let's go for a drink.

Yeah, but I'm sorry. I don't drink anymore.

He's great playing the piano.

I could swear I've seen him somewhere before.

- Chauffer, Cop... - He is one of three brothers.