Original subtitles

Tonight on St. elsewhere. Now I'm gonna kill you!

The only way we're gonna know is to open him up and explore. Let's get on with it.

If we don't find anything? We sew him back up and that's it.

I didn't wanna come here.

And, frankly, I have nothing in common with you people.

What is it in my personality that bugs people?

You're really a closed, narrow-minded,

judgmental human being.

- What's going on around here? - We got an arrest.

- Open up the chest. - Something went wrong.

Because ever since you did your first solo, you've been dying to cut again.

Hey, hey, hey. Hold it right there, fellas. Come here.

Sit down over here.

I think this is gonna make you feel better.

Don't you just love these quiet, carefree nights?

My metabolism thrives on chaos.

Inactivity breeds discontent.

Just try to relax.

I'm gonna give you some demerol, and we're gonna try this again in 20 minutes.

Did you hear about Peter white? Yeah, he's in bad shape.

Westphall read him the riot act. Told him to stay home for a couple of days.

And said he had to start a drug rehab program.

That's depressing. Can't we talk about something else?

Sure. How about your sex life?

Was mr, tepper's neck mass biopsied?

Well, the patient has had four or five fibromas removed over the past six months.

I see that. Does he have any history of neurological disorders?

Other than diffuse bone pain, he's complained

of weakness in the lower extremities.

All right. Have you ordered a skeletal survey? No.

I think a skeletal survey is in order and probably a bone scan. What do you think?

- Yes, sir. - Dr. Chandler, how's Mrs. Kranz?

Uh, excellent. Vitals are stable. She's able to hold down her food.

Is she still craving pizza? No, now it's Chinese food.

Moo goo gai pan. All right.

Dr. Wade, what was the etiology on Mr. Evans's flank pain?

He passed a kidney stone. It's been sent for analysis.

I'm just concerned about why his amylase level is so high.

Right. Excuse me, Dr. Westphall.

Dr. Benzyck called. He can't make your meeting.

Oh, damn. Is he at home, do you know? No, Beth Zion.

Is he working? No, his wife just had a baby.

Bad timing? The worst.

Mr. Rizzo, hi. Oh, back so soon?

How are you feeling? Eh, so-so.

How much? It's 98.7.

It's down from 103 an hour ago.

Huh. Thank you, Juan. Yeah, thanks a lot.

So, what's the story? Am I dead or alive?

I saw your lab results from this morning.

The cortisol was within normal limits.

Thyroid function studies pending. But?

Well, we don't know what's causing the fluctuations in your temperature,

or the loss of weight or the constant hunger.

Think it could be something with the pancreas?

Might be. Your fasting blood sugar is in the lab.

Anybody in your family have diabetes?

No. So, you think that something could be throwing my sugar out of whack, huh?

It's possible.

Something like some kind of growth or tumor or something?

Mm, I really can't say at this point, Mr. Rizzo.

Vietnam, 1968. Me and my buddy are in the thick of it.

Noise in the bushes, "think it could be Charlie?" I says.

"Could be," he says.

That was the last thing he ever said.

I'm not trying to be evasive. Okay, okay.

Just tell me, are you gonna go in and probe and poke and see what's cooking or what?

Some exploratory surgery may be necessary.

Well, I can't say that I like it.

But, um, if that's what you gotta do, then do it.

Nothing was ever solved by running away from things, huh?

Mr. Rizzo, if I only had a few more patients like you...

Go on.

Dr. Kochar. Dr. V.J. Kochar, 2-5-3-6.

Ah, Donald. We missed you at doubles yesterday.

I was having my weekly rendezvous with Dr. Chegley.

He reminds me of Mrs. galando, my fourth

grade school teacher... Strict disciplinarian.

He's determined to smack my misbehaving immune system back into line.

How are you feeling? Excellent.

Just going over the results of my tests.

I would say my numbers are extremely bullish.

That's terrific.

You were absolutely correct, Donald, about the chemo.

My cancer's down. Hopefully out.

Is there something I can do for you?

Yes, as a matter of fact, there is. I've been asked to give a sermon...

To the incoming med students in the six-year program over at b.U.

How can I be of service?

I asked Dr. Benzyck over at Beth Zion if he could help me out today.

I was thinking of mixing medicine and surgery. You know what I mean?

But his wife decided to have a baby.

Oh, I suppose that calls for a congratulations.

I suppose. Leaves you a man short.

Right. Are you free?

I had promised Katharine to have lunch with her at Locke-ober...

To celebrate my new lease on life.

But we... we can always manage that some other time.

No, no, that's important. I wouldn't ask you that.

Have you thought of asking Mark?

It was incredible, Jack.

I'm talking about a small bowel resection, okay?

And I pulled that baby off in under two hours. Even Craig was bowled over.

That's great. Yeah, I really caught that one.

Two things to worry about in life, huh? Your work and your wife.

One down, one to go. Okay, now who is this guy?

Anthony Rizzo. He's a meat packer.

What do you see? Nothing.

As far as his abdominal series goes, he's as clean as a whistle.

There's no air fluid levels. There's no

obstructions. What do you think we should do?

Hey, I'm into stainless steel. You know what I'm gonna suggest.

You think we should open him up? Depends on who you ask.

If you ask me, I say yes.

Why? Because we don't know what's wrong with him.

The only way to find out is to go in and look around.

Yeah, but it's not as if Rizzo's gonna drop on us in the next hour or so.

His vitals are fine. All his labs are within normal limits.

Besides, if you do operate, it won't be the first time.

You should see the scars on this guy.

Well, you mind if I took a look at him?

Sure. Okay.

Go ahead. I can tell you right now, we're going to have to cut.

Oh, no, you think I'm gonna give you two bucks for that? Oh, no.

Yes, I think that you'd better.

Oh, no. What are you gonna do if I don't?

I'm gonna tell the guard, and then you're gonna see.

This is amazing.

Just another day in the naked city.

Maybe there'd be less trouble if we were all naked.

I mean, we wouldn't have to worry about concealed weapons.

Something I can do for you, Kathy? No, thank you.

How is Wayne? Oh, Wayne. Um, he's fine.

I heard the two of you are seeing each other. We're not seeing each other.

Um, we've gone out a few times. I don't feel bad.

Good. I feel a certain glow.

Like now there's a connection between you and me. Get away from me!

I'm sure that... excuse me.

Get away from me. Get away from me! Get away!

What's the problem here? He wants to sit down.

Is there a reason he can't sit here, ma'am? No one else is using it.

I'm sorry.

I was just saving this seat for my friend.

But I'll leave if you want me to.

No, it's all right. It's all right.

Sir, why don't you sit over here?

Oh, no, no, no, no. What are you gonna do with...

He's such a sensitive fella.

Wayne? No, Warren apple gate.

Oh. Some people think we're a mismatch,

but actually we're very compatible.

Warren apple gate in dermatology?

We're the correct imbalance. He is what I am not and vice versa.

That's for sure. Warren's very soothing and stabilizing.

Like Mr. Rogers. Sounds stabilizing.

Shirley, we should double-date. Double-date?

Uh, you mean the four of us?

All that interaction and social intercourse,

just think of the possibilities.

Well, yeah. Um, we'll have to do it... sometime.

How about tonight? Tonight?

None of us are on call. I've checked.

Well, okay.

But I have to ask Wayne. You know, in case he's made other plans.

Let's talk it over at lunch.

Okay. Okay.

♪ Mary had a little lamb ♪

That's a talented kid.

I don't think Terry is suited for a career in

surgery. I'd like to push him into medicine.

Why is he so hell-bent on surgery? Well, it's in the family.

His old man is a surgeon, you know?

Keeping up with family expectations. Would you, uh, talk to Terry?

Maybe I should talk to the old man. Even better.

Oliver, how are you? Mark, can I talk to you?

I hear benzyck's wife threw a wrench in your plans today.

She really did. That's why I was looking for you. I was hoping you could help me.

Why didn't you ask me in the first place? You've had this talk scheduled for weeks.

All right, Mark. I just didn't think it was your cup of tea.

It's not. This affirmative action crap doesn't hold any water with me.

It is not affirmative action, Mark. I know, I know.

It cuts the cost of a medical education. It does.

But if they're not careful, it'll cut the quality too.

All right, here's what I think.

I think it's very important for these kids to spend some time in the hospitals...

And in the areas where they come from.

That's what I'm trying to get across. Now, a man of your stature could help me.

Oh, for crying out loud.

Victor benzyck has the lisp of an adder.

I mean, he can hardly talk to a patient, much less a group of people.

What possessed you to ask him? I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry.

You're damn right you weren't. All right, are you gonna step in and pinch-hit?

Look, Donald, I'd like to help you out, but the fact of the matter is...

That there's no chemistry between me and those low-income kids.

They're very bright. It doesn't have to do with intelligence.

It has to do with taste and culture.

All right, now I'm in a bind,

and you'd be bailing me out and it would be a huge personal favor.

Well, if you put it that way, how can I refuse? All right, thank you.

12:30, and I'll drive. Yeah.

Well, it all started on the weekends.

Before I knew it, it was every day,

and I was dropping thousands of dollars a month.

You know, the funny thing is,

I didn't think I was doing anything wrong.

That was even before I started freebasing.

Cocaine became my best friend.

My career went out the window, along with my wife and my home.

And that's when I decided to come here.

How long have you been clean?

Twenty days, Paul.

I, uh, graduate tomorrow.

Oh, that's wonderful, Stuart.

Grab a seat.

Stuart's lucky.

Actually, it's not that easy to quit.

You've gotta constantly be on guard...

For those moments when you feel the most susceptible,

when you feel the need to take your own special drug.

Nan, this is your first time with us.

What are you addicted to?

Um, codeine.

Now, just before you felt the need to take the codeine,

what were you usually doing?

Well, I was... I was at home.

Go on.

Last winter, I had a cold.

I can't take pills, so my doctor prescribed codeine cough medicine.

I didn't realize until way after the cold was over...

That I... I was still taking the stuff.

Why do you think you needed the codeine?

Um...

After... after my husband went off to work and the kids left for school,

I'd find myself wandering from room to room in that big house of ours.

I didn't know what to do with myself.

I was... I was all alone.

It's all right, nan.

We've all cried in this room. Go ahead. Let it out.

Yes, Peter. This is Peter's second day.

Uh...

All right, I got a problem.

I, uh...

This is crazy. I gotta go.

According to the abdominal ultrasound, Mr. Rizzo, your pancreas is fine.

But you've got hypoglycemia.

We're starting 72-hour fasting glucose and Insulin levels.

This is Dr. Ehrlich. He's a surgical resident.

Oh. No, I only asked him for a consult.

Don't tell me. Don't worry.

They don't let us operate anymore unless the patient is unconscious.

You two guys, like a regular tag team, huh?

Gorgeous George and bobo Brazil. Are you a wrestling fan?

Fan? Come on. I practically live there.

My cousin, Ralph... he's announcer down at the garden.

You ever meet Bruno sammartino?

Are you kidding? Me and Bruno...

Well, anyway, I'm gonna wanna have a look at you here.

Oh, sure, that's what all the surgeons say, huh?

Oh, boy, you weren't kidding. You've been through it all right.

They took your appendix out? Yeah, August 11, 1978.

Woke up with cramps, you know.

Thought it was from this fish joint down on the pier.

Fresh catch of the day, right? Sure. Should have stayed with the scampi.

What about this one?

Oh, that one.

Super bowl Sunday, 1976.

I lost 50 bucks on the cowboys. Damn that Bradshaw, huh?

I had a stinging pain right after the game. They went in.

They had to take down some adhesions.

Okay, I wanna feel your abdomen now. Take a deep breath.

Let it out.

Just relax.

Feeling for masses, huh? That's pretty good.

Where'd you learn your medicine? Oh, you pick it up.

Unfortunately.

You know, I don't feel anything abnormal here.

Amazing.

Your temperature's back up to 102. An hour ago it was normal.

Uh, so what are you gonna do?

We're still in the talking stage.

Ah, you wanna go inside, don't you?

We may have to do some exploratory surgery to find out what's going on,

if your angiogram is normal.

Hmm. What do you think?

Well, it's certainly one possibility.

Story of my life.

If that's what it's gotta be, then that's what it's gotta be.

Let's get it over with so I can get outta here. What do you say?

Nothing's definite yet, Mr. Rizzo.

It's like frick and frack.

You guys are a couple of regular politicians, right?

Gonna need another urine sample. Ah, no problem.

Bye. See you later. Okay.

Mrs. Phillips to admitting.

Mrs. Phillips to admitting.

So, consult. Nice guy, huh?

Yeah. How about his abdomen?

Well, it's hard to tell. If there's a tumor, it may not be palpable,

especially if it's endocrine in origin.

We should open him up and look around.

I don't know. It just doesn't fit together somehow.

His tests are negative except for fluctuations in temperature and low sugar.

I wanna think about it and wait for serum Insulin levels.

Spoken like a real internist.

Uh, Mr. Rizzo, yeah, in 405.

He's gonna be giving me another urine sample.

Okay, I'll send someone down. Thank you. Oh.

What? Would you get me a temperature on him every hour?

Yeah, I'd be delighted to.

Okay. Okay. Thank you.

Is he allergic to penicillin? Um, no.

Any other drugs? No, not that I know of.

Hey, give me that, please.

Has he had any recent illnesses? No.

Has he had any complaints lately? Fatigue? No.

Has he been eating normally? Well, no...

Put that down!

Come on, Wayne, what's the big deal? We'll go out with them.

We'll get some food. We'll see a movie maybe. That'll be it.

Look, I can think of plenty of things I'd rather do...

Than doubling with Cathy Martin and Warren apple gate.

Like getting my teeth drilled. Aw, he's not a bad guy.

That's right. He's a nerd. He's the kind of guy...

That has one of those plastic things in his shirt pocket with pens and pencils in it.

"Hello, Wayne. What a lovely, lovely day, Wayne."

Used to be she just worked with stiffs.

I was able to put her off for now, but she

wants us to meet for lunch in the cafeteria.

You really don't like me, do you, Shirley? Come on, you'll see.

We'll have a good time. I used to sleep with her all over the hospital.

I don't care about that. I have a history too.

Wayne, this is an overture of friendship.

Okay, okay, I can handle it if you can.

Don't worry, I can handle it.

Oh!

Oh, no. What?

That woman over there. She's been waiting all morning. Oh, terrific.

My mother always wanted me to be a TV weatherman, and I just laughed at her.

Mr. Foster, 4-6-2-3.

Sorry, ma'am, but this woman was sick before you.

Hi. I'm Dr. Fiscus. What seems to be the problem?

My stomach hurts. Well, that's no good.

But you're in luck. This week we're running a special on abdominal distress.

That includes parts, labor, a free checkup of all vital systems,

a five-year, 50,000 mile warranty, whichever comes first.

So, if you will just step in here, we'll see what your problem is.

How long has your stomach been hurting you?

I don't know.

Well, that's pretty general, isn't it? I mean, a day? Two days? A week? A month?

Since yom kippur? What? I don't know. A while.

Okay, a while. Any diarrhea, vomiting, constipation?

Any nausea? Have you had a fever?

Missed a period? Anything like that?

It hurts all over here.

Okay, is it a dull pain or a sharp pain?

Is it there all the time? It just hurts.

All right. Are you on any medication? Have you taken any drugs?

I don't take drugs.

Good for you. Okay, then, why don't we just take a peek.

I'll have my lovely assistant draw the curtain,

and you wouldn't mind lying back on the

table, would you, and unbuttoning your blouse?

Shirley?

Don't you touch me! I'm just going to help you, that's all.

Don't you lay a hand on me! Oh, come on now.

Come on. Just relax. Everything's gonna be all right.

No. Just tell her to leave me alone!

Okay, call up to psych and tell them we got someone for them.

We'll put her in restraints so she doesn't hurt herself.

Mrs. Abernathy, why don't you come back here now?

Everything's going to be all right. Come on. No!

Everything's all right.

What I'm trying to say is probably explaining the obvious to you.

There is, in fact, an urgent need in inner-city hospitals,

like St. eligius, communities like roxbury, southie,

for affordable, skilled medical care.

And we hope that when you finish this program and your training,

that you will seriously consider careers in the areas where you're needed the most.

Dr. Westphall? Excuse me.

Before we open this up for questions, I would like very much...

For you to hear from our chief of surgery at St. eligius, Dr. Mark Craig.

Mark? Thank you. We're running a little late here,

but I wanna toss in my two cents and echo Dr. Westphall's fine words.

My son is graduating from Ohio state in June, so I think I can relate to you all.

Your communities need you,

and to serve them in a medical capacity is a privilege like no other.

Thank you very much.

Excuse me, doctor. Yes?

How much money do you make a year?

More than the mayor, but less than Dr. J.

Do we have the same opportunity...

To make that kind of money in a roxbury clinic?

No, you don't. I didn't think so.

Uh, is your son gonna be, quote, privileged to work in a community like this?

Okay, let's take off the gloves, hmm?

Let me tell you. I didn't wanna come here...

Because I figured it would be an exercise in futility.

And, frankly, I have nothing in common with you people.

My ancestors came off the mayflower.

My grandfather was a distinguished surgeon,

as was my father and myself.

Now why would you for one second...

Think that my son would set up practice in roxbury or Charleston?

Now come off of it. He's not connected with those places, but you are.

Now, personally, I don't blame you if you take the money and run.

But if you do, nothing is gonna change.

Not for the better.

You are the future of your communities,

not me.

So put that in your pipe and smoke it...

Before you start tossing out a lot of wise ass questions to me.

That's all. Dr. Craig.

If you feel that way, why do you stay at St. eligius?

Because I couldn't find a better job.

Okay, Anthony. Now that didn't hurt a bit, did it?

You're right, it hurt a lot. Anyway...

That's what they used to tell us to say in nursing school.

Well, you do this all pretty good.

Yeah, I did. Thanks. And I don't usually do this.

But it seems like most of our lab technicians...

Came down with an acute case of spring fever.

So, uh, how long you been a nurse?

Oh, all my life.

My ex-wife always wanted to be a nurse. Yeah?

Hated school though. She's a hostess now...

At one of those restaurants on the mass turnpike. Which exit?

Fourteen. So, uh, do you like it? I mean, nursing.

Hmm, the hours are long and the food stinks, but I love being a nurse.

Yeah. Okay, open up. I wanna get another temperature on you.

Back in a minute.

They never sent anybody in for my urine sample.

Oh, that's okay. I'll take it.

So what'd you guys think about that power failure, huh?

Caught me in the middle of a shower.

Down, big boy. So, what happened?

So anyway, Alice and I are sitting on the couch last night,

and things are getting hot and heavy. Mm-hmm.

And she says, "I know I slept with all those other guys right away,

but you're different, Victor, you're special."

You believe that? Right. What'd you do?

So I said, "no, you got it all wrong, babe. I'm not different.

I'm the same as all the rest of 'em."

Come on. You don't really like me, do you?

We're just having lunch with them. As long as he doesn't touch me.

You know what it's like with dermatologists... cooties.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mind if we join you?

No, we've been waiting. Hello, Wayne. Nice to see you, Wayne.

So, are we on for tonight?

Cath and I know this really neat restaurant down near the pr...

- Sounds great. - Oh, it's wonderful, Wayne.

What kind of food? Italian.

Italian. Isn't that bad for your skin, all that oil?

Oh, Wayne, you used to love it when we used a lot of oil.

An awful lot of medical breakthroughs...

Are happening now in dermatology, right, Warren?

There's some really good work being done now, Shirley.

We're making great progress in eczema, seborrhea and psoriasis, Shirley.

Oh, uh, acne, the silent menace stalks the young.

Yeah. He's great, cath.

Oh, yeah, the best.

Well, actually, you guys in E.R. see all the interesting stuff.

Not really. We gotta go.

So how about our double date tonight?

Well, I... Wayne can't.

Oh. Some other time then?

Yes.

What do you mean I can't?

If we went, it wouldn't be so bad. Forget it.

Jack.

There was an opening on the board this afternoon,

so I slid Anthony Rizzo into it. Without checking with me?

Well, I ran it by Dr. London this morning.

Rizzo hadn't eaten all day, so he gave me the go-ahead.

Without checking with me. I'm checking with you now.

Not a chance, Victor. Why?

Rizzo's ready to go in. Well, I'm not ready.

You know, your ambivalence is really frustrating.

Yeah? So is your arrogance. You're getting to be a real surgeon.

Well, excuse me, but the man happens to have a tumor in his pancreas, okay?

Look at his Insulin levels. They're up, up, up.

How come the C.T. scan and all the other

tests are negative. How do you explain that?

Okay, most insulinomas are too small to be seen on x-rays.

The only way we're gonna know is to open him up and explore.

So, let's get on with it. And if we don't find anything?

We sew him back up and that's it. I don't know.

Oh, great, you don't know. What don't you know? You wanna do it, then do it.

So you two guys finally got things worked out, huh?

Well, Anthony, we have reached some sort of agreement.

But to be honest, Dr. Morrison still questions...

Whether surgery really is needed at this time.

Yeah, I know, surgeons versus internists, right?

So, we do have you scheduled for later this afternoon,

but the final decision, of course, is yours.

You got reservations, huh?

I feel we could hold off a little longer for additional testing.

I'd like to get a c-terminal Insulin to find out...

If the Insulin is coming from the tumor.

You a football fan?

Not really. Handball.

Ah, it doesn't matter. 1966, Michigan state versus notre dame,

playing for the number one ranking.

- Parseghian... - He used to be the coach of notre dame.

Yeah, right. Ran out the clock playing for a tie.

Bush if you ask me.

Play for a tie, you get a tie.

I'm here to win. Let's go for it, hmm?

No offense intended, Dr. Morrison.

None taken.

I'll see you later on tonight, Mr. Rizzo. Victor.

Okay, let me explain the procedure to you. Oh, don't waste your breath.

Look, you're gonna go inside and check things out.

If you find something you don't like, you'll take it out.

If you don't, you won't, right? Right. That about sums it up.

Yeah, I did two tours in 'nam, 82nd airborne, helicopters.

You wanna talk about exploratory surgery, '68 tet offensive.

We go into the jungle... we didn't know what the hell we were gonna find.

Sometimes nothing. Sometimes a hell of a cancer.

So don't you worry about me.

I know the story. I know what's going on.

Someone will be in to prep and premedicate you later on.

I'll see you in a couple of hours.

I'll be there.

Oh, I had a buddy in the 82nd airborne. No kidding?

Yeah, flunked out of Cal. Got caught with a low number in the draft lottery.

But I didn't think the 82nd was involved in the tet offensive.

Oh, yeah, yeah, we had a few boys there.

Okay. See you later.

Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Got a cigarette?

I'm sorry, there's no smoking allowed in here.

Maybe... maybe you can loosen these up a little bit, because they're so tight.

I think that... I think that they're giving me bruises. Please, they're really tight.

I don't want you to be uncomfortable, but I'm not allowed to.

Oh, please. Please.

All right.

Thank you.

Oh, you're so kind.

Now I'm gonna kill you!

I'm gonna kill you! Luther, we gotta tie that woman down!

Call security. Grab her! Shut up!

Get security! Get security!

I'm gonna kill you!

Get off me!

♪♪

Mark, I never would have pegged you for this kind of place.

Man cannot live on béarnaise sauce alone.

What is this, flounder?

Icelandic scrod. It's good.

Actually, I did a bypass on the owner of this place.

I drop by from time to time.

The food's not bad, and the price is right.

You really impressed the hell out of those kids today.

Some world, isn't it?

I mean, it's gotten to the point that if you say what you think, you're a hero.

Well, you speak your mind, that's true.

- Ever get you in trouble? - Are you kidding? All my life.

It's caused me a hell of a lot of trouble.

Now you speak your mind,

and you don't put people off.

You know, I mean it. And you're not perfect either.

But, I mean, people don't treat you like you got fleas.

What is it in my personality that bugs people?

That bugs you? Well, I...

Come on, come on. Give it to me straight. Don't pull any punches.

- Mark, I... what do you... - Right between the eyes.

No, really, I... come on.

Well, you're a little short on tact.

Right.

- You're rude. - Uh-huh.

Prejudiced. uh-huh.

You're intolerant of people who don't behave in a way that you think they should.

Right.

Now don't get me wrong. I like you well enough. I really do.

But, well, you're really a closed, narrow-minded,

judgmental human being, and I don't...

That's enough.

- Thank you, Donald. - Look, Mark, I'm sorry.

No, no, no, no. I respect you for that, for what you said.

I'm gonna go to the John.

I think this check is yours.

How does his pancreas look, ehrlich?

Peachy keen. Soft without masses.

This fellow used to play hockey? I don't think so.

He's got more scars than a maple leaf goalie.

Okay, let's take another walk around the block through these adhesions.

If we don't find anything, let's close him up.

A little more 02, v.J., looking a little murky here.

♪♪ You're really enjoying yourself, aren't you, ehrlich?

The biggest rush I've had since I hit the waves at kaanapali.

The way I understand it, surfers are born, but surgeons are made.

Hey, v.J., what's "heaven" in hindi?

- Bihisht. - Bihisht.

Well, I think I found it in surgery.

Did you hear about him? He's got his intended coming over.

Oh, congratulations, v.J. First time?

No, I was intended once before. Her name was devi ropar.

Did you marry devi? No.

When I came home from medical school, she was engaged to gupta giva.

Gupta giva?

A useless son of a useless father.

They own apartment houses in patna.

She married him? No.

Why not? Probably found out about his girl from marabar.

Wait a minute.

What's going on around here?

- We got an arrest. - V.J., give him 100 milligrams Lidocaine,

two amps bicarb and calcium.

And for god's sake, seal the air leak and open those lines.

Ehrlich, open up the chest. Scalpel.

Easy. Spread the ribs apart.

Give me those retractors.

- There's absolutely nothing. - Open heart massage.

Come on.

Mary Abernathy? Mm-hmm.

I'm Dr. Armstrong. I'm sorry I haven't gotten

to you sooner, but I've been very busy.

Oh, I understand, dear.

Says you came into emergency complaining of stomach pains.

Yes. And Dr. Fiscus admitted you...

Because you were banging your head against the wall.

He was concerned you were going to hurt yourself.

The pain was very bad.

I can understand that.

It also says that you attacked a nurse.

I think "attack" is too strong a word, doctor.

I admit I did get a bit excited.

But I had been waiting around for such a long time.

And then they tied me down, and I was in a great deal of pain.

Naturally, I panicked.

Besides, I found the nurse to be very, very hostile to me.

Hmm. How well do you feel now?

Oh, much better, thank you. And I'd like to go home.

I see.

Well, I wanna make sure that you're not going to hurt yourself again.

Don't worry, I won't. I lost my head.

But it was just for a second.

Well, I'd like you to stay around a little longer...

So we can find out what the cause of your pain was.

Oh, no, please, I'm fine really.

And I really wanna go home.

Well, if you insist. I don't want to have to make you stay.

But I will have to get an okay from Dr. Sentefleban.

He's the senior resident on call tonight.

Oh, thank you, doctor. You're so kind.

What happened? I don't know. He tripled on the table.

You couldn't wait to cut into him, could you? It was routine.

Nothing should have gone wrong. It was surgery, ehrlich.

It was invasive.

Something went wrong because ever since you did your first solo,

you've been dying to cut again.

The guy's 80 years old. He's got hearing aids in both ears.

I bring him down for X-ray, and I say, "take off the clothes,

put on the gown and come across the hall for the X-ray."

Well, he gets the part about losing the clothes,

but misses the part about the gown.

He looked so funny and scared, walking across that hallway.

Bye. How did she get out?

Get me security. Hey, what's wrong?

Lucy, that's her.

Hi, Jack. You look tired.

Yeah, I'm beat.

It's been a difficult day.

Yeah, I know, but cheer up.

It's the desert flower.

The flower that Springs from the tiniest

asphalt crevice that has the loveliest bloom.

Know what I mean? No.

Well, when things didn't work out with Wayne,

I thought there'd be no happiness for me in this world.

Then Warren and I found each other.

Now I found my happiness, and it looks as though Wayne has found his.

We're all going to be very, very good friends:

Wayne, Warren, Shirley and Cathy.

That's great.

I feel rather like that painting déjeuner sur I'herbe...

Luncheon on the grass... By manet?

Do you know the one?

With the woman sitting naked and everyone eating.

You said you wanted to see me about something?

Right. The man who died in surgery, Anthony Rizzo.

After he was opened, we found that his c-terminal Insulin was negative.

It didn't come from his own body.

It came from a cow.

A cow?

That's right. The r.I.A. Is positive.

I don't get it. Cow Insulin killed him?

No. It was an extremely high blood level of synthroid...

That reacted with the surgical anesthetic.

What would such a high level of synthroid be doing in his system?

His thyroid function tests were normal.

I don't know.

I suppose the same thing that the cow Insulin was doing there.

He must have taken a large dose of synthroid just before he pre-op'ed.

Wendy, did you examine the woman we sent up to psych? The one in restraints?

Mary Abernathy. I was called in for a consult.

Security said you released her. That's right.

I got an okay from Dr. Sentefleban. Why did you release her?

She didn't seem as though she was any danger to herself.

Herself? The woman is crazy. She flipped out in E.R.

She was absolutely coherent by the time I spoke with her.

- Didn't you read my report? - Yes. But I'm telling you,

by the time I saw her, she was in complete control of her faculties.

I had no reason to hold her for 72 hours.

She threatened to kill me, for god sakes!

Shirley, would you calm down?

Save it for your patients.

I've been thinking about what you said, Donald. I am difficult.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Mark.

Oh, don't be silly.

I'm man enough to take a little healthy criticism.

We all have our defects.

Oh, you're damn right.

You have to admit your being "all things to all people" can wear pretty damn thin.

I never thought of it that way. But at any rate, at my age, it's hard to change.

My feelings exactly.

What?

Come on in, Jack. What's up?

Uh, the weirdest thing happened.

A patient of mine was operated on today and died on the table.

- Who did the surgery? - Uh, Dr. Ehrlich.

Dr. London was assisting.

According to path, the Insulin in the man's body came from a cow.

This guy have lots of scars?

Yeah. He's been operated on seven times before.

Body temperature bounce around? Blood in the urine?

That's right. Munchausen syndrome.

- Sounds like it. - I don't understand.

Patients who fool their doctors into performing

surgery that's completely unnecessary.

I mean, some of these sickos know more medicine than we do.

They've got to, to trick the doctor into performing all the procedures.

My advice to you, Jack, is to call some of the other hospitals.

Have them check their records.

I'll give you even money that this fella's been in every hospital in Boston.

Why would anyone want to be operated on?

They like being patients.

They get a weird kind of pleasure fooling doctors.

Some experts say it's just that they need some attention.

Unbelievable. Isn't it?

Well, thank you both. See you later.

So, ehrlich lost his first patient today.

Won't be the last.

Unfortunately. Some more?

Whoa!

Shirley.

What's the matter?

They let her go. Who?

That crazy woman from E.R.

She attacked me. She wants to kill me. And they let her go.

Shirley, she's a head case. They never follow up on their threats.

She said she was gonna get a gun and kill me.

This is the worst day of my life.

Between this psycho and you. Me? What did I do?

Come on, fiscus. You and Cathy Martin were

going gaga over each other in the cafeteria.

What? Must have felt like old times.

That's ridiculous. I was only being nice to her because you asked me to.

Really? Really.

You're seeing things that aren't there.

I am? Yeah.

Know what we're gonna do? We're gonna get your coat.

I'm gonna drive you back to my place.

I'm gonna make you a special dinner.

And then we're gonna snuggle up on the couch with a blanket,

and watch TV and shut the whole world out, okay?

Can I come in?

Yeah, sure.

I owe you an apology.

The autopsy on Anthony Rizzo...

Showed that he had ingested a large quantity of synthroid.

When it reacted with the surgical anesthetic, it killed him.

What are you saying?

I talked to westphall and Craig.

They suggested I dig deeper into his records.

So, I called some other hospitals.

Over the past seven years, Anthony Rizzo has been admitted...

To no fewer than 15 hospitals.

What... what for?

Everything.

I don't get it. What's going on?

Well, I'm not sure, but...

I think he was suffering from Munchausen syndrome.

Munchausen. Shot down by the baron Von Munchausen.

So you see, it wasn't your fault.

I appreciate this.

I've been lying here, thinking.

You're right, about this compelling need I've developed to get back into the O.R.

You're always told that in order to be a good surgeon, you've gotta be aggressive,

opinionated, eager to cut, but it's no good.

I've gotta try and curb that kind of thinking.

I'll see you around. Thanks.

You know, Donald, we oughta see more of each other outside the hospital.

I'd like that. How about dinner at my place? Sunday.

Ellen makes a great pot roast. Can I bring my kids?

Of course. And a date, if you like.

Sounds terrific. Are you seeing anybody special these days?

No. No one in particular. Great.

Have you ever met my recently widowed sister-in-law, Carol?

No, I don't think I've had the pleasure. Well, you will.

Sunday night. Mark...

Donald, I'd consider it a huge personal favor.

Let's take the stairs. These damn things never work.

Always works for me.