Original subtitles

You’re moving out

and taking my grandchild away from me?

Can you even afford a whole house?

- I can, if I go in on it with Millie.

The house is the most beautiful emerald green.

Oh! There’s my baby.

How was your weekend?

- Good! Ataata let me have so much cake.

- Oh, was it somebody’s birthday?

- No, it was his wedding!

- Your dad got married?

- Mm-hmm.

- To who?

- I don’t really know her name

’cause Ataata just calls her "babe."

But she bought me this dress.

- Nice...

- Wow.

It’s... nice.

♪ Sorry girl it’s a big old world ♪

♪ And it all don’t revolve around you ♪

♪ Sorry girl, it’s a big old world ♪

- He has the emotional maturity of a toddler.

How does he have a new soulmate

and I’ve had three...

Three and a half hookups?

Ting is married!

- We heard you the first 11 times.

- Yeah, now you’re just saying it louder.

- Mm. - It’s just...

I need to get back out there.

I deserve love too.

- So you want a boyfriend.

- Yeah! No.

Yeah.

But it’s so hard to find someone

that’s smart and funny

and handsome and it’s not like I have the time to look.

- What if we do a bunch in one night?

I’m not into orgies.

I don’t... think...

- No, we have D&D here tonight.

You know, Dungeons & Dragons.

I’m the D&D DJ.

We have a lot of guys.

- So I have to learn D&D by tonight.

- No, I’m saying we swap D&D for a speed-dating event.

Invite anyone that’s single.

Yeah! Blast out a radio ad.

Or wait, do you think Jason could put a word out

at the school?

We have a whole new crop

of southern teachers that came in

in the fall and they need some breaking in.

- Sounds like an efficient way to fast-track my progress.

- Yeah! That’s my kind of trainwreck.

♪ Sorry girl it’s a big old world ♪

♪ And it all don’t revolve around you ♪

Ooh, it’s cold out there.

Hey.

- I wasn’t expecting to see you.

You usually come weekends.

And text ahead.

- Yeah, yeah, well,

I heard it was a PD day at school.

I thought Bun might want to play out.

- Yeah.

’Kay. Fine.

Bun!

Your grandpa’s here!

Yay! I go pee first.

- Well, I... I see you got some...

some new stuff.

Yeah? I... I like it.

- I don’t really do small talk

with people who’ve been all up in here...

- Look, Neev, I just wanna spend more time with her, you know?

I missed out on seeing

Siaja grow up and now Bun--

- Bun! Your grandpa’s waiting.

Um... I’m pooing now!

- Fine.

Just tell Bun that I’ll be waiting for her

in my truck.

♪ I want to know what love is ♪

Calling all single folks.

Are you tired of meaningless hookups

and ready for slightly more?

Have we got a super-specific event for you!

Get ready for Speed-Dating for Real Romance.

Tonight, right here at the community centre.

Doors open at 07:00,

hearts open at 07:30.

Let’s see who bites.

- I heard that and I know exactly what you’re up to.

And I’m all in!

It’s criminal to let that

youthful flexibility and natural collagen

go to waste.

- Did you want something?

- Oh, yeah! Big news.

We got the community programming grant.

For real?

Even the ball?

- Yes, your idea paid off.

Literally.

- Let’s go! Okay, I’ll get started.

- Slow your roll.

You may be the face of this,

but I’m still the brains.

So I’ll get started

and you get ready for date night.

You all have fun tonight!

♪ I want you to show me... ♪

- Helen, I want to talk to you.

- Mm-hmm?

- I really think I should lead the winter ball.

I am so excited to get started.

Maybe I could even reach out to Elisapee.

- Hmm?

- No, not our Elisapee.

Elisapee Isaac, the global rock star?

Just imagine the whole town

in Inuk-style tuxes and ballgowns,

dancing the night away.

- This is gonna be the biggest event Ice Cove

has ever seen.

This can’t fail.

I’m up for review this year.

- It won’t fail because I learned from you.

I promise no shortcuts on equipment, on safety.

I will micro-plan every detail

and make us both look great.

Also, you told the funders that I was the project lead.

So I think I should actually be the lead.

- Are you... strong-arming me?

- What if I am?

I’m leading the winter ball!

- What? Oh my gosh! - Yes!

- Hey, Jason! What’s up!

I mean... Vice Principal Idajjuk.

- Hey Kuuk. What’s up?

- Just want to drop this off for you.

My resumé.

- Ah, Colin mentioned you’re job hunting.

- Well, I mean, I can cook, I can clean, you know?

- That’s a step down from...

scientific research associate.

- Well, the title made it sound fancier than what it is.

Yeah. And besides, I’m kind of a...

- A broke bitch?

Harsh. Yes, but accurate.

- We’ve all been there, man.

I’ll keep you in mind, okay?

- Yeah? Dude, thank you.

- You’re welcome. - All right, see you.

- Talk to you later.

Watch out, adult coming.

Nice!

- That was crazy, like a Fortnite jump.

- Hey, where we landing, guy?

Guys! Seriously?

The bell was five minutes ago.

Whatever.

- Got any V-Bucks that you’re not using?

- I don’t have any kind of bucks right now.

- Oh, uh... guys, get to class.

Come on.

What are you guys doing?

You don’t wanna end up broke like me, do you?

- Wow, you look hot.

- So do you.

Bun’s with Alistair so I’m going out.

Where are you going?

- Some dumb singles thing.

Where are you going?

- To the dumb singles thing

my friends organized just for me.

- Oh! Are you looking for a, um... tryst?

- Uh, no.

This event is specifically for people who want

more than that.

- Huh. Shit.

- You can still come.

- Uh... no.

Relationships are too hard.

- But it’s worth the effort for the right person.

- Hmm... that’s just not in my DNA.

But you go.

Hopefully you didn’t inherit my--

- Damage? - Genes.

- It ends with me.

They’ll call me Siaja

the Intergenerational Curse Breaker,

first of her name.

- I almost didn’t find you.

- Betcha didn’t think I’d hide here.

- Well, you know the reason I took so long?

Cos I thought, "There is no way

"that Bun is gonna hide in the same place

"three times in a row!"

- I’ll go hide again.

- Oh... Look, look, look. Hang on, hang on.

It’s getting kind of late, Bun.

- Last round? I promise.

I won’t hide in the same place.

Please?

- Okay.

Atausiq, one.

Marruuk, two.

Pingasut, three.

Tisamat, four.

Okay! Listen up!

This is the Ice Cove murder board.

Doesn’t have anything to do with murder, as far as I know.

Elisapee and I have updated it

based off your RSVPs.

- We have huge extended families

in this small town.

It can be hard to remember who you can date.

- So. Red string means relation by blood.

Do not engage.

Blue string means relation by marriage or adoption.

Engage at your own risk.

And no string, no problem!

We start in 10.

- Brilliant idea. Work of art, really.

- And it’s functional. You should take a look.

I think I’m okay.

- Says the girl who tongued her dad.

I hate you!

- You looooove me.

- Hello, kittens!

- Uh, Helen.

Didn’t know you were coming.

- I didn’t either. Went out for milk

and saw that the lights were on.

- Wearing your dancing pants.

- Oh! Oh, well...

better to have ’em and not need ’em

than to need ’em and not have ’em.

Okay.

To succeed at things like this,

you’ve got to bag the beast

within 90 seconds.

This scent drives men nuts.

- Worked on me.

- I think I’m okay. I’m just gonna go out there

and try to be open and--

Minty fresh.

Okay, now go get ’em!

We’ll be back next week, all right?

Thanks. Huzzah.

- What are you doing here?

- Hey! Uh, well, I came here

to level up my elf but now

apparently I’m serving snacks, so...

- Oh! Sorry, we hijacked the place just for tonight.

- Are you... participating in the... the...

- Yeah! Why not?

- Yeah. Right, of course. Yeah.

That’s, uh... That’s sup...

That’s so great.

Yeah.

- Uh, I should... probably go do...

- Get in there.

Who’s ready to mingle and dingle?

- Bun!

This isn’t funny anymore.

Where is she?

Bun!

Bun, come on, Bun, it’s getting late!

Bun!

Ugh, this kid is gonna give me a heart attack.

Let date night begin!

Each date will last around three minutes.

Helen here has kindly volunteered to help keep time.

When she blows the whistle that she just happened

to have with her,

those of you on the outside will move one place

to your right.

No! No! Uh, sorry, nope.

Just a demonstration, just to-- - Go!

- How did she take over so fast? - I’m weak. I have no spine.

Hey sweet cheeks.

- It’s Siaja.

Nice shirt. I loved Ocarina of Time.

- And then Ting dumped me when he found out

I was pregnant. - That’s so messed up.

A real man should raise his kids.

- Oh, no, he’s not the father.

But you could be.

Third cousin, ahem.

- You don’t have to pretend to be a gamer for me.

And you should know that I like wearing the pants

in the relationship.

- Oh my God, me too!

We already have so much in common.

♪ What’s two plus two ♪

- It’s a simple question.

Can. You. Handle me?

♪ Make a girl go crazy ♪

♪ Four, three, two, ow ♪

- This could be all yours.

♪ I like big boys, itty-bitty boys ♪

♪ Mississippi boys, inner city boys ♪

♪ I like the pretty boys with the bow tie ♪

- And so I only have one toe left.

- Oh man. Was it... frostbite?

- Heh. Nope.

♪ You my fave boys ♪

- So what’s your scandal?

- No scandal.

But I can’t handle anything more than a hookup right now.

- Did you not... read the event description?

- No. I was just walking by and...

Millie just dragged me in here.

- Siaja, not to say that you’re snobby,

but I think you’re the type of girl who doesn’t like

to live at the dump.

We should just remain friends.

- That’s all, folks!

Time to hand in your selections.

♪ Make a girl go crazy ♪

Hi.

- Hi. Hi, it’s me.

- To what do I owe the pleasure?

- I have lost Bun.

I have looked for her everywhere.

- What?

You lost our granddaughter?

We were playing hide-and-seek.

Wait, wait, wait, what do I do?

Do I organize a ground search or...

Hi, Grandpa!

Bun?

Oh my God! Are you okay?

- My best hiding spot is near Grandma’s.

- Mm-hmm.

- Thank you. - You were taking way too long to find me.

Forgot you’re old and slow.

- She got hungry, okay?

But I kinda had you going there for a bit.

- What the hell, Neevee?

You’re...

You were honestly gonna make me believe that I lost Bun?

I am trying here, and you...

You are just screwing with me.

Jesus, Alistair, calm down.

I was just--

- Unbelievable.

Un. Believable.

- Men are so emotional.

- Siaja, basically every guy has but you on his yes list.

- Effin’ right.

Let’s see your picks.

You picked no one?

I thought you said you’d be open?

- I am open!

But I spent years with the wrong guy.

I don’t want to make another bad choice.

- You can’t tell that in three minutes.

Am I too late for speed-dating?

You... just missed it.

Um...

But we could play foosball if you’d like.

- Sure, yeah.

Yes.

- I’m Siaja, by the way. - Ethan.

- I’m such a sore loser. It’s horrible--

- Really? I don’t see that.

I mean, you’re good at foosball,

so you have that going for you. - I’m winning.

So how do you like teaching? - The students are tough.

- How are they treating you?

- I think my students hate me.

- Nah, you seem like a...

pretty likeable guy.

- Thank you.

But one of them straight up called me a red flag.

- If anything, I’m the red flag here.

- No.

Wait, in what way?

- That is a second date kind of question.

- Oh, yeah?

Am I getting a second date?

I mean, they say I’m pretty likeable.

- You give a guy one compliment.

- Ooh!

Good game.

Hey, it’s, uh...

It’s pretty loud in here. Did you want to...

- Hey, Jason. What’s up?

Hey, Kuuk. You got a minute?

I was hoping to talk to you about a job opportunity.

- What would you say is your favourite thing

about being a mom?

- Um, it’s kind of...

You watch this kid become their own person,

which is kind of weird.

- But beautiful? - But really cool, yeah.

- Hey, I’m just gonna say it.

I like you.

And I’d love to keep hanging out.

- Well... look at me not saying no.

- Yes, yes, I’m very excited.

Okay. Thank you. Okay. Thank you. Kuuk!

- Hey! - Hi, honey!

- Siaja! Hi!

- Hey!

- Hey. - Who is this?

- Alexis, this is Ethan.

- Oh, my gosh, there he is...

I’m sorry. ’Scuse me, guys! Hi!

- Oh, Lex, I wouldn’t touch that.

He looks a little mangy.

Alexis, you shouldn’t pick up loose dogs.

- He’s harmless, you guys. It’s okay.

I wouldn’t...

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Oh!

- I mean, she can’t have rabies.

Right?

- There were a lot of lemmings this summer.

- Oh...

You know nothing.

Foxes eat the lemmings,

and then when there’s too many foxes,

rabies spreads like wildfire.

Then foxes come into town and...

- Oh. Sorry, sometimes I’m still a...

City boy.

- Yeah.

Hey, uh... Looks like your, uh...

Your night went well.

- Ting... got remarried last weekend.

- Oh. Ouch. That was fast.

- Right?

- Yeah.

But hey, he’ll always be the loser that lost you.

Oh hey, I heard your, um...

You’re leading the winter ball?

- Yeah. - Congrats. That’s awesome.

Yeah. Oh, and, uh...

Jason called and he asked me

to try subbing at the school, so...

- Nice! - Yeah.

- That’s actually so perfect for you.

You’re so good with kids.

- Thanks.

Hey Kuuk!

You can go in now. Okay.

Thanks for being here.

See you later.

Hey! How’s she doing?

- Hello!

- Hey!

Uh...

I shouldn’t have picked on you.

When... you were being a massive baby.

Okay. It was the wrong moment to mess with you.

And you didn’t deserve that.

So I sincerely apologize...

and it’ll never... ever happen again.

- Well, I accept your apology...

in the full spirit in which it was given.

- Also this.

That’s me.

- Because you said you missed out

on seeing them grow up.

I’m still gonna mess with you, though.

Right?

It’s just who I am.

Let’s go, Bun.

- Bye! - Bye.

- I do want a real relationship.

But not tonight.

Tonight, I just need to clear my head.

- I... might be able to help with that.

- Take your shirt off.

- Wait, right here?

- Right here. Right now.

♪ Baby, I don’t need you ♪

♪ I just wanna freak you ♪

♪ What’s two plus two? ♪

♪ Four, three, two, ow ♪

♪ Boys, boys, boys ♪

♪ Make a girl go crazy ♪

♪ Four, three, two, ow ♪

♪ Boys, boys, boys ♪

♪ Make a girl go crazy ♪

♪ Four, three ♪

♪ I like big boys, itty bitty boys ♪

♪ Mississippi boys, inner city boys ♪

♪ I like the pretty boys with the bow tie ♪

♪ Get your nails did, let it blow dry ♪

♪ I like a big beard, I like a clean face ♪

♪ I don’t discriminate, come and get a taste ♪

♪ From the playboys to the gay boys ♪

♪ Go and slay, boys, you my fave boys ♪ ♪