Original subtitles

*

*

VERONIKA: Well, let's see...

After you decide that I'm depressed

or whatever, you'll put me on meds, right?

And I know,

hundreds of people on 'em

and they're all doing just fine, really.

I'll go back to work on my new antidepressants.

I'll have dinner with my parents,

persuade them that I'm back

to being the normal one who never gives them any trouble.

And one day,

some guy will ask me to marry him.

He'll be nice enough,

and that'll make my parents very happy.

The first year, we'll make love all the time,

and in the second and third less and less.

But just as we're getting sick of each other,

I'll get pregnant.

Taking care of kids,

holding onto jobs, paying mortgages,

it'll keep us on an even keel for a while.

Then about ten years into it,

he'll have an affair because I'm too busy

and I'm too tired.

And I'll find out.

I'll threaten to kill him, his mistress,

myself.

We'll get past it.

A few years later, he'll have another one.

But this time, I'm just going to pretend

that I don't know because...

somehow kicking up a fuss just doesn't

seem worth the trouble this time.

And I'll live out the rest of my days

sometimes wishing my kids could have the life that I never had.

Other times secretly pleased

they're turning into repeats of me.

I'm fine, really.

*

(Water running)

(Indie rock music playing)

* Think I've gone insane

* 'Cause everybody seems so strange

* I can't concentrate

* I can't process any information

* Make the world go away

* Just long enough, forget me all

* Free my mind

* Free my mind from this

* Free my mind

* Free my mind from this

* Make it all go away

(Man singing indistinctly)

* You bring me down, bring me down

* Give me a reason why

* Give me something real

* I can't deal

* Free my mind

* Free my mind from this

* We're fallin' together

* Free my mind

* Free my mind from this

VERONIKA: Load of crap.

"Green is not the new black.

"Hasn't anyone else noticed

"that everyone has gone totally insane?

"Why are we all so afraid to look at things

"as they really are? Slogans like this

"have succeeded in distracting us all

"from the things that really matter.

"There's no other escape.

"I want people to know that I'm killing myself

"rather than participate in the collective madness

"of this world we are all living in.

"This is not the real world.

"Goodbye."

(Banging on door)

(Banging on door)

MAN: Open up!

Miss? Miss?

*

Hurry, call 911!

*

FEMALE DOCTOR: Needle is going in.

MALE NURSE: She's at 100 over 60.

DOCTOR: Let's get that BP up!

NURSE: It's dropping fast. It's at 80 over 40.

DOCTOR: Let's get her inside!

NURSE: Prepare the patient for ACLS.

*

Could you please send in my 9:15?

*

MALE STAFF MEMBER: Edward!

Come on now, Edward.

I wanted to let you know

that your father's annual visit is scheduled for next week.

He'll be asking me if you've made any progress.

Have you made any progress, Edward?

You know, Villette works

for the great majority of people who come here.

The last two times your father visited,

I suggested he bring you home, but, well...

I'm certain he believes you being here is for the best.

What do you think of that, Edward?

Nurse.

(Voice speaking indistinctly)

(Voice continuing)

(Voice speaking indistinctly)

Relax.

We're going to take good care of you.

(Crying out)

Relax.

There we go.

There we go.

Veronika...

you were in a coma in intensive care for two weeks

before being well enough to be with us here.

Where am I?

Villette.

Villette?

FEMALE PSYCHIATRIST: A privately funded psychiatric facility on the Hudson River.

Our director Dr. Blake has taken

a special interest in your case.

You're shrinks.

Why am I here?

Who put me here?

Your parents approved it.

Veronika, can I ask you a few questions?

Your date of birth?

December 24th, 2000--

Um, 1981.

Your address?

Your place of employment?

Freeman Stanley.

Your position?

Assistant accounts executive.

$75,00 a year

plus additional health benefits included.

The colour of your mother's hair?

I don't remember.

PSYCHIATRIST: The colour of my hair?

Blonde.

Are you sure?

Um, "Deklava"

is Slovenian?

Your parents are--

Yeah, my parents left before I was born.

We get along just fine, if that's what you're wondering.

Look, how long do I have to stay here?

Unfortunately,

we have some difficult news

in that regard.

Does somebody want to tell me what's going on?

DR. BLAKE: That's yours.

Oh...

PSYCHIATRIST: Veronika, when you took the overdose

your heart stopped

and you suffered a heart attack,

which caused a ventricular aneurysm.

In layman's terms,

you have damaged the mechanism that pumps blood into the heart

which has caused irreversible damage to it.

I'm afraid the aneurysm is so large, it's inoperable.

It will get bigger and bigger every day,

until it finally ruptures.

So, I'm going to die after all?

I'm afraid so.

Well, how long do I have?

A year? Years?

Exact estimates are impossible.

Not years.

Okay, so six months? Five months?

Four months?

It could be any time.

Um... two weeks,

one week.

Two weeks or one week, which is it?

More like one.

I have to wait that long?

PSYCHIATRIST: Well, uh...

If I succeeded, why don't you just kill me now?

This might be too much

for you to take in.

DR. BLAKE: Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

I think we've said enough for now.

(Sighing)

We think this is the best place for you.

We'll be giving you regular shots for your heart,

which may make you feel a little tired.

But we'll do everything we can to make your last days here

as pleasant as possible.

Do my parents know?

No. No, not yet.

You can't tell them.

I think we've said enough for now.

Natasha, would you please...

NATASHA: Yes, Doctor.

*

*

WOMAN: 860, 861, 862,

863, 864, 865.

There you are.

Better?

I'm your roommate, Claire.

This place isn't so bad, you know.

They have really good drugs.

I'm leaving any day now,

but not before I have one more round of my coma treatment.

No! No! I want--

(Man shouting)

You're really pretty.

(Man shouting indistinctly)

(Shouting continuing)

I'm going to tell you the trick of this place.

It's a story.

Once upon a time

there was a powerful wizard

who wanted to destroy a whole kingdom.

And to do this,

he poured a magic potion into the well

from which all the citizens drank.

Anyone who tasted it would go mad.

And the King, when he saw his people so changed,

he was terrified.

He was preparing to leave the city,

when the Queen stopped him, saying,

"Let us drink from the well,

we'll be the same as they are."

And so they drank,

from the communal well of madness

and they were immediately as insane as their subjects.

And so, the King was allowed to continue ruling in peace

for the rest of his days.

So...

learn to think as those around you think

and you can pass yourself off as anything.

You think outsiders are any less crazy than we are?

I'm not crazy.

Are you really going to die?

Who told you that?

Oh, you know, the talk. Talk, talk,

blah, blah, talk, talk.

I don't want to wait.

Do you know how I could get my hands on something?

Really?

Come have a smoke with me.

No thanks.

Oh, come on.

Get dressed.

You don't want them to think you're crazy.

Ask Mari, she'll tell you

how to get the pills.

She's been here the longest out of all the patients.

Her clique has the best deal here.

They don't have to take their meds

unless they feel like it.

She was a lawyer on the outside

and she was married to one too.

And then she lost her job

and she had a breakdown and she ended up here.

Her marriage is over too.

And she's really close to Dr. Blake.

VERONIKA: You think she'll help me?

I don't know.

If she doesn't want to talk to you,

she won't.

VERONIKA: What about him?

Ed.

I know. He's gorgeous.

You can't actually talk to him.

Mari has a way with him,

but no one else.

He was dumped here a few years ago.

Years?

That's what happens.

He was in an accident

and then by the time he was fixed,

he had stopped talking.

VERONIKA: What do they say is wrong with him?

CLAIRE: Oh God, it changes all the time.

Catatonia, schizo, all these names.

No use getting interested in him.

He doesn't care about anybody.

I'm not interested in anyone either.

Not even me?

I'm freezing.

CLAIRE: Hey! Hey!

Do you know what astral travel is?

(Speaking indistinctly)

How are you?

Your parents are waiting outside.

No!

I can't see them.

No, I won't see them.

But they want to see you. They've come all this way.

Did you tell them?

No.

No, you told me not to.

I thought I'd leave that up to you.

How can I tell them?

I think you should see them.

Can someone please send in Mr. and Mrs. Deklava?

Veronika always had good grades

and made friends with nice people.

Always had good-paying jobs.

Never had a speck of trouble with her, never.

She...

You always made us... very proud.

Doctor, how do you make her get better?

I mean...

Back to normal.

He's a good doctor.

Well...

You see, first of all,

your daughter tried to kill herself.

Now, that's nothing for you to be ashamed of.

In our society, we feel we must be happy.

If we're not happy, we feel hopeless,

we feel like failures.

The plan is to talk with Veronika, mainly.

Talk?

(Speaking foreign language)

(Speaking foreign language)

Dad, how much are they overcharging you for this place?

Oh, it's nothing. Forget it.

The most important thing

is your health now.

Of course it would be better if you stayed home with us

and rest with us, but--

Sometimes, being away from everyone, even loved ones,

can help people get calm.

This-this place is worth it.

I even noticed on the way here they have a nice piano.

You play piano?

No.

MR. DEKLAVA: Oh yes, doctor, she--

MRS. DEKLAVA: She used to play lovely.

Mozart, Bach,

Debussy.

Every teacher said she has a gift.

It doesn't matter, I don't play any more.

It's nothing.

MRS. DEKLAVA: No, she even had

a scholarship from the Juilliard.

MR. DEKLAVA: Oh, yeah.

But we agreed it was better for her

to go to a proper school, so that she--

So she would never be lacking for a good-paying job.

Could we not have this conversation please?

We just want you to be happy.

Could we just not?

I'm sorry.

MR. DEKLAVA: It's okay, sweetheart. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay.

I'm sorry.

Veronika...

there's nothing else you want to say

while your parents are still here?

Are you sure?

Well, it's a long drive back to Brooklyn.

You'll want to beat the rush hour traffic.

Yeah, I guess...

getting back to Brooklyn at this hour could be horrible.

Listen...

When Dr. Blake says it's okay,

you'll come home,

you'll spend some time with us.

Okay?

DR. BLAKE: Thank you.

(Speaking indistinctly)

Bye-bye.

*

(Panting)

This is it?

(Voices speaking indistinctly)

NATASHA: There she is.

You gave us a start, young lady.

We're going to try adjusting the dosage on your medication.

(Chattering and laughing)

WOMAN ON TV: This is about a woman's life.

I mean, we wouldn't even be having this conversation

if she had succeeded. But luckily she didn't,

but we're talking about a woman's life.

MAN: The fashion industry has suffered attacks

from nut jobs like this all the time!

I'm sorry, it is fair!

Nutty as a fruitcake!

(Laughing)

(Laughing and chattering)

(Chattering and laughing)

Nutty as a fruitcake!

(Laughing)

...apparently is seizing of all the publicity around this...

Well?

Aren't you going to react at all?

No. You won't be with us much longer,

little one.

MAN ON TV: We're not changing her.

You read the email,

why do we need to put... (Speaking indistinctly)

(Chattering)

The good thing about being in a crazy hospital

is that you can get away with slapping Fred

when he talks like that.

I was looking for you.

Claire said that you might...

Be someone who can help you?

I need pills.

I want to die on my own terms.

When those two geniuses switch off shifts

at the end of the day, about dinner time,

around seven,

there's usually a moment when that door is unwatched.

I don't understand.

The medicine closet.

(Veronika breathing heavily)

FEMALE PATIENT: I remember that you like them.

FEMALE PATIENT #2: I do. They smell...

(Chattering)

How can you stand it here?

FEMALE NURSE: Edward!

Edward!

Edward, come on.

It's time for your treatment.

Come on.

Come on.

Edward, come on.

Dinner time!

Dinner time.

Come on, come on.

MALE PATIENT: Thank you.

(Chattering)

Hey, George, this way!

Veronika! Get away from that water!

No, no, no! Spit it out! Spit it out!

Spit it out! Out! All of it! Come on!

Out, all of it, all of it.

Come on! All of it, all of it, all of it.

All of it. Is that all?

Look at me, look at me.

All right? Come on.

Let's get her to Dr. Blake.

So you really thought it would be

that easy to steal some pills?

You're a shit.

Because I won't cooperate in you killing yourself?

Because you love playing with people's souls.

I hate you.

Really? Tell me about it.

(Thunder rumbling)

Fine.

I hate your stupid desk.

And I hate your ugly ties.

And I hate your ridiculous socks.

And I hate everyone locked up in this place.

And I hate my parents for spending their very last penny

to keep me in this zoo.

And I hate the jerks in my office who think

the money they earn makes them the shit.

And more than anything I hate the zombies on the subway

who have forgotten all of their dreams

or the fact that they ever had any to begin with.

I have some terrifying news for you.

What could be more terrifying than this?

You sound like you might be feeling better.

Answer me honestly, please.

Doesn't it feel better to feel better?

Have you ever heard the story

of the king and the poisoned well?

You mean Claire's absurd story?

Do you think she invented it?

Oh, I should have guessed this one.

That's your brilliant take on reality?

Well, reality is what the majority deem it to be.

Not necessarily the best or the most logical,

but the one that has become adapted to

the desires of a society as a whole.

Some things are governed by common sense,

and others become fixed

until more and more people believe

that's the way it should be.

You are batshit crazy, you know that?

You sell these patients on this optimistic belief

that they're no different than the people on the outside,

because they're no different than you!

Well, I consider that a simple matter of fact.

Only a truly crazy person would

call it reassuring or optimistic.

Besides,

aren't you the one who accused the fashion industry

of foisting pathological,

dehumanizing values on our society?

Well, I was high when I wrote that.

Then I take it, an ad campaign

was not the real reason you tried to kill yourself.

I had a point.

You almost laughed.

Another sign of improvement.

Go to hell!

(Door slamming)

(Thunder rumbling)

That Veronika is a strange one.

(Chuckling)

Which of them isn't?

Does she remind you of that girl that was here...

three years ago?

She came in with a heavy heroin habit

and they realized she had a heart problem?

Sandra Berowitz.

Remember that stink with state health services?

Oh, yeah.

I do remember that now.

Oh, that poor girl she was so skinny.

Yeah.

Ooh, yeah.

Do our printed records

go back that far?

Yeah.

Can I see her file?

Sure.

Great.

(Discordant notes blaring)

(Discordant notes blaring)

(Discordant notes sounding in distance)

(Discordant notes blaring)

(Playing classical music)

*

*

(Playing classical music)

*

She is beginning to experience

the reality of death as something beyond her control.

Edward's noticed her.

Whatever that means with Edward.

Have you grown so attached to your guilt

about the fix you're in with Edward

that you can't see yourself living without it?

Is it that you're so close to leaving

you want to construct a happy ending for Edward

to match your own?

I don't think Edward being interested in a suicidal girl

with a few days to live is much of a happy ending.

Perhaps you're a little jealous.

You mean "a little counter transference?"

Just because it's a cliché doesn't mean it isn't true.

Anyway, who says I'm ready to go?

In order to lose someone,

you must first experience authentic attachment.

Now, if Edward could recover normal affect

to the point where he'd be capable of genuine loss,

I think I'd consider that my finest hour as a doctor.

*

NURSE: You're free to go.

*

NURSE: Okay, Claire, I'm going to swab you down.

Here we go.

(Whispering indistinctly)

*

One of your patients, Veronika Deklava,

is getting considerable media play

from some rather unfair things she said about

part of our advertising campaign.

Of course, our first and foremost concern

is for the well-being of the young lady.

Well, now she's a patient

undergoing active treatment here,

the details of her condition are confidential.

But she is recovered enough

for a well-wisher to pay his respects?

Look, you want to put Veronika

into some sort of dog and pony show?

That's not going to happen.

We're under a great deal of pressure over this matter,

as I'm sure you understand.

I'm sorry, she's not available to be put on display.

We've made some enquiries

with the State Board of Health

that gives you your license to operate.

Apparently three years ago a patient died here?

Of a drug overdose?

And the families of other patients

have complained about irregular methods of treatment.

What the families of patients complain about, by and large,

is that not every mentally ill person can be cured.

Now, what is it exactly you want from me?

You have very unorthodox methods,

Dr. Blake. I can shine a spotlight

on the unusual activities taking place up here.

I have absolutely nothing to hide.

*

(Speaking inaudibly)

(Speaking inaudibly)

Claire, honey.

Come on, you haven't been released.

Okay, lets get your bags

and go sit in the day room.

No, not now, Edward.

Look, I don't really feel like playing.

(Chattering)

You okay?

I'll get to the moon next time,

and they'll let me leave.

*

(Chattering)

(Chattering and laughing)

*

(Chattering)

Hey.

You okay?

You should be more careful.

It doesn't really matter, does it?

You know, there's an expert in Sufi spiritual teaching

talking to us tonight.

Some people find Sufi spirituality

very beautiful and helpful.

Some don't.

I don't think you should leave this life

without knowing how far you can go.

ALL: Om...

TEACHER: Om...

ALL: Om...

(Playing classical music)

*

*

TEACHER: ... and allow the real "I"

to reveal itself.

The real "I" is what you are,

not what others make of you.

(Classical music playing in distance)

(Classical music playing)

*

(Door closing)

*

*

(Moaning)

(Moaning)

(Moaning)

I could fall in love with you right now.

And I know you won't say anything.

But that's okay.

(Chattering)

It's very early.

I need to talk to you.

I need your help.

You didn't have your injection last night.

I know. I'm feeling much better.

Well, you don't look it.

If you want to make the most of the time you have left,

you'll do as I say.

I do want to.

And that's why I need to know exactly

how much time I have left.

I've told you, I can't be sure.

Everything is happening as I anticipated.

Dr. Blake, I need you to do two things for me.

I need a shot or something

so that I can stay awake.

I want to be conscious of every moment.

What's the other thing?

I want to leave here.

No, no, no, no, no.

You can't just go, you're not well enough.

Besides you're under my care.

You're looking very pale.

I'm tired, that's all.

Look, if I have even a little time left,

there's so much I could do.

I want to go the beach.

I want to see the ocean and I want to feel the sand.

I want to have a huge taco from my favourite taco stand.

I want to walk into an Irish pub and I want to order a Guinness.

I've never done that.

I want to see my mom.

I want to talk to her, really talk to her.

Look, get some rest

and conserve what little energy you have left.

Last night...

I realized that whatever time I have left,

I have to live it.

There's so much about myself that I don't know.

Well, desire contradicts fear.

These days most people have replaced

almost all their emotions with fear.

When everyone has dreams, but only a few realize them,

then it makes cowards of the rest of us.

Even if the few are right?

Particularly then.

If everyone realized their dreams,

this place would be empty.

Hey, the Martians have said we mustn't study war any more

and must go forth and bring peace to the nations.

That's what I'm doing!

You think I'm making this up?

It's been reported on CNN.

You could hear their words plain as the nose on your face.

I recall you telling me that panic attacks aren't fatal,

even if they feel like they are.

"Positive Compassion,"

all that text book stuff is beginning to sound rather old.

Maybe it's time for you to leave this place.

Oh, don't be so ridiculous.

I do actually help people here, in case you haven't noticed.

Helping people? Like Veronika?

Edward is benefiting, isn't he?

Yes, but to get that benefit you're torturing a dying girl.

Making her recover her will to live,

just when it's too late to do her any good!

All in the name of research?

Well, it's not a perfect science.

Though practically everyone seems

to need me to lie and say that it is.

And when will you finally drop those

tedious notions of right and wrong

you've never really believed in to begin with?

Or are you still a lawyer at heart

with fantasies of truth and justice?

Look, if Veronika can help Edward

by giving him the illusion he's helping her through love,

then her life and death

will not have been completely meaningless.

My God, is that the only consolation you can manage?

Anyway...

I made a few phone calls.

Found a nice Legal Aid office on West End Avenue in Manhattan.

No billionaire corporate clients.

Just needy defendants

without a pot to piss in.

Up the block is a decent take out deli,

I can bring my lunch to the park.

Who knows? Maybe I'll call up

my ex-husband, see how he's keeping.

Well, it all sounds very... normal.

It's time I got away from you.

I mean...

from here.

Well yes, like I've been saying, for how many years is it now?

This is my office address.

I'll be staying at my sister's until I can find a place.

I'll get you a number when I have one.

Thank you.

You could come sit with me in the park one day.

If my schedule lets up, maybe.

Don't hide here forever, Alex.

*

(Knocking)

Yeah?

Hey.

Want some help?

You could put those clothes in there.

Okay.

Thanks.

You know, I heard you last night,

playing the piano in a way I've rarely heard before.

I recognized that you played with so much soul

because you know you're going to die.

I thought, "I'm going to die.

Where's my soul?"

I lost it...

to a husband and a job and a house

I never had the courage to leave.

Now, today I feel it again.

I wasn't myself last night.

Or maybe I really was.

Nothing makes any sense any more.

Some people go their whole lives

searching for one moment like the one you had

and never achieve it.

You had a thousand in you.

*

Sorry, I-- It's okay.

It's time for Edward's treatment.

You two can see each other later in the rec room.

So, what are you working on there, Ed?

Come on. It's time for your treatment.

Come on.

*

WOMAN: Why is he here? Why is he here?

I need to leave Villette.

Are you're talking?

I want to leave.

Assistance please.

North East Corridor. Immediate assistance.

It's okay, Ed.

It's okay.

ORDERLY: Hey, Eddie. Everything okay?

I have to talk to Dr. Blake.

Wow. You're talking up a storm there, huh?

I want to go.

Why don't you take a few of these,

calm down a little bit.

You gonna make this a whole big deal?

ORDERLY #2: Hey, come on. Call Thompson will you?

Where's Blake?

Off the grounds, appointment in the city.

You can talk to him the minute he gets back.

NURSE: Doctor Thompson, we need you down here right away.

You're just having a little crisis.

(Shouting)

No! DR. THOMPSON: What's going on?

He talked! Edward, that's wonderful.

Okay, Let's get him out of the hallway, okay?

Angela, relax.

Everybody just calm down.

Edward, let's take you to the room. Okay, relax.

Everybody calm down. What are you doing to him?

Veronika!

DR. THOMPSON: Get your hands off! Get your hands off, okay?

Veronika!

Everybody get back, get back.

(Excited chattering)

You just spoke.

WOMAN: No, no, stop it! Stop it!

(Excited chattering, shouting)

I think you're something important to me.

Ed, you need to come with me.

Take him to the room, please.

Do you think Blake will be okay with this?

DR. THOMPSON: We will do the treatment as planned.

Go back to your room.

MAN: Let's go walking!

Psycho's coming!

Wait!

I'm coming with you.

I'm coming with him.

ORDERLY #2: Go.

Go back to your rooms, now!

If someone...

who only has a short time to live

decides to spend it watching a man sleeping,

I'd say that's love.

Hey.

Are you back?

You don't remember, do you?

Veronika.

There's so much I want to know.

I was nineteen...

studying law.

I was in love.

It's okay if it's too hard, you don't have to.

I need...

She was very wild.

Totally different from anyone I'd ever met.

We loved each other.

But my father disapproved.

And when he realized I was serious about her,

he made it hard for us.

He thought I was going to ruin everything.

And then I did.

I decided...

we had to leave.

We were...

She was pregnant.

I stole my father's car

and I was going to drive us west.

Then...

in the darkness...

I ran into a truck.

She died...

instantly.

I couldn't go back,

even when I was better.

I couldn't move.

And they sent me home, but I didn't talk.

I didn't eat for a long time.

I couldn't do anything.

And-and my father found this place.

If I listened to him...

She'd still be alive.

They say what doesn't destroy you

makes you stronger,

but if it leaves you so weak

it feels wrong not to be destroyed.

Now I've been here so long

I don't think I can ever get out.

And then you arrived, Veronika.

Last night was what my whole life should...

I'm not asking you for anything.

I can play for you.

Edward...

If you want to leave, I can take you.

I know how without anyone seeing.

I don't have a lot of time.

You know that, right?

(Chattering)

*

*

* And we got all day

* Mmm, baby, I've been missing you

* In the strongest way

* It's a little

* It's a little love

* It's a little show, oh

* It's a little

* It's a little love

VERONIKA: Life, dying,

everything at once.

* It's a little

* It's a little love

* It's a little show

*It's a little

* It's a little love, love

* It's a little love

* For we have got

* It's another day to start

* And make it up

* Oh, baby, just look how lucky we are

How do you feel?

Like I could live forever.

*

*

*

(Panting)

(Ticking)

Hey, could I get a Guinness?

(Irish folk music playing)

*

It's like you're part of me now,

like you're inside of me.

You better take good care of me.

It's too cold for you to be out here.

No, I have to see the sunrise.

I'm fine.

* If you close the door

* The night could last forever

* Leave the sunshine out

* And say hello to never

(Singing inaudibly)

(Singing inaudibly, waves crashing loudly)

Veronika?

Veronika!

DR. BLAKE: "Dr. Thompson. Greetings.

"This office and Villette are now in your care.

"I hope you will conduct yourself wisely,

"as I've tried to do.

"I want to bring you up to speed on a few things,

"clear up a few matters.

"I know you've been investigating

"my handling of Veronika.

"You saw that Veronika's echocardiograms

"do not only resemble a previous patients'

"who had succumbed to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.

"They were identical.

"That's because they were that patient's echocardiograms

"with Veronika's name added.

True pictures of Veronika's heart accompany this letter."

Her heart function is normal.

"In a few more days, I'd anticipated telling Veronika

"that our injections had cured her heart condition.

"But in light of her unscheduled

"departure from Villette,

"my telling that particular lie

will not be required."

"The majority of people who attempt suicide

"repeat their attempts until they succeed.

"I took a risk in lying to her about her condition.

"I decided to test the only remedy

"I've come to have any faith in:

Awareness of life."

"Until she finds out from some other doctor

"that she's perfectly healthy,

"she'll consider each day a miracle,

"which in my view...

it is."

Hey...

*

* You can't judge the love by the lover

* The sky by its thunder

* The road with no sign

* You can't make the snow fall in summer

* Or make him not want her

* Not leave you behind

* Maybe he'll stay in touch

* Years down the road

* And hope that he's still on your mind

* The sun may come up and go down again

* I'll still swear it's a beautiful life

* So, maybe we'll meet up in Denver

* Talk about weather

* Talk of old times

* I know every word that we said

* Was what we both meant

* Well, we meant it at the time

* Promise me that you'll be

* Standing up straight

* Chasing rivers and shadows and time

* The sun may come up and go down again

* And I'll still swear

* It's a beautiful life

* Time flies

* Time cries

* Oh, time flies

* Time cries

* So swim to the end of the river

* Until there's no shiver

* Left in your spine

* Live like there won't be tomorrow

* See through your sorrow

* See through your own eyes

* Try to remember

* These days down the road

* And try to remember this time

* The sun may come up and go down again

* And I'll still swear

* It's a beautiful life

* The sun may come up

* The sun may go down

* Oh, the sun may come up

* The sun may go down

* The sun may come up

* The sun may go down

* I'll still swear

* It's a beautiful life...

*

* I'm not hanging, not hanging on

*

* I'm not hanging, I'm not hanging on

* Oh, I'm not hanging, not hanging on

* I'm not hanging, not hanging on

* Oh, I'm not hanging, not hanging on

* I'm not hanging, not hanging on

* Follow your heart

* Follow your soul where it takes you

* (Where it takes you)

* Follow your heart

* Follow your soul where it takes you

* (Where it takes you)

*

* I'm not hanging, I'm not hanging on

* Oh, I'm not hanging, not hanging on

* I'm not hanging, not hanging on

* Oh, I'm not hanging, not hanging on

* Follow your heart

* Follow your soul where it takes you

* (Where it takes you)

* Follow your heart

* Follow your soul where it takes you

* (Where it takes you)

* Follow your heart

* Follow your soul where it takes you

* (Where it takes you)

* Follow your heart, follow your soul