Original subtitles

Excuse us. We're here to take Dr. Beck's class, How to Find Your Bliss, A Journey

of Self-Discovery. Room three. Oh, okay. Okay.

You have fun.

I'll be at Tito's Taco Terrace. Faith, come on.

We're both at a crossroads in our lives, searching for our true bliss.

I'm searching for nachos.

I'll tell you what. You take this class, and I'll have three margaritas, and then

we'll see who's happier.

Faith, please take this class with me.

All right.

But let me go to the ladies' room first. If I can't escape through the window,

then I'll come back.

Oh!

I'm so sorry. Are you all right?

I am now.

Didn't you play Ashley Storm on The Sacred and the Sinful?

Why, yes.

Yes, I did.

My mother loves you.

You know, but she's a little hard of hearing, so you're not nearly as loud as

I expected.

But your mother sounds like a wonderful woman.

Tell her I...

Well, I'm late it's very nice meeting you

Welcome

to parents without

partners Sorry, I'm late

Small world.

Teeny-weeny.

Carry on.

I was just going to ask anyone new to introduce themselves.

Would you like to start?

Oh, I'd be delighted.

Hello.

I'm Faith Fairfield.

And I'm... an alcoholic.

An... an overeater.

Sex addict?

This is a single parent support group.

I knew that. I was just kidding.

What I should be at is at a Joker's Anonymous meeting.

Okay. Last week we left off with Chris, so let's begin with him.

Oh, yes, let's do. Please.

Well, I found the woman I meet.

Don't understand that being a good parent comes first. They seem to resent

my daughter.

Have you considered placing her in foster care?

Tell me about it.

Well, anyways, I've decided I'm not dating any more women without children.

Oh, come now, Chris. That doesn't sound like you.

Faith, how many children do you have? I don't have any more than one.

A boy named Justin.

Oh, how old is he? He's eight or nine-ish.

Under ten for sure.

Well, Faith, welcome to our group.

And I hope you and your son can make it to our Parents Without Partners family

picnic tomorrow?

Oh, well, Justin's father usually takes him on Saturdays, but lately he's been

falling down drunk at the cockfights.

Oh yes, we'd love to come.

She would want you to A, give her some space, B, make her talk about it, or C,

buy her a gift to cheer her up.

Another easy one. A, give her some space.

Is that your final answer?

No, because what good is space without a new pair of earrings to go with it?

And I saved Dad.

I'm never getting married.

Like you'll have a choice.

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I met the future Mr.

Faith Fairfield.

You know, I can't believe you ditched me. You missed a wonderful lecture on

finding your bliss.

Oh, I found my bliss.

And his name is Chris.

We went out for coffee after class, and coffee led to espresso, and espresso led

to cappuccino, and cappuccino led to mochaccino, and do you have any sleeping

pills?

So you blew me off for some random guy?

He's not a random guy, Hope. This could be the one.

He invited me to a picnic tomorrow with his daughter, and I thought it might be

fun if I brought Justin along.

Sure. That sounds nice. Which reminds me, I don't know nearly enough about my

darling nephew.

So... Let's start with some basics. Age, date of birth, any allergies I should be

aware of.

Faith, if you don't mind, we're sort of in the middle of something here.

I'm quizzing Charlie.

Dr. Beck wanted us to do a relationship test.

Hope got a perfect score when I gave her the test. We know each other like that.

Okay, so how'd I do?

18. 18 out of 20, not bad.

18 wrong.

What? Let me see this.

Okay, okay, are you telling me... that El DeBarge's Rhythm of the Night is not

your favorite song.

Chris's favorite song is Do You Really Wanna Hurt Me by Boy George.

You know, you two should go have some coffee together and get to know each

other a little better.

That's a great idea.

Ha! She only drinks tea.

Well, they should.

You look adorable.

Oh, now, one more little thing. What do you say we play a game called Pretend

I'm Your Mommy?

I don't like scary games.

Fine, let me rephrase that. Here are two tickets to the Cleveland Cavaliers game

next Friday.

What do you say?

I say you're the best mommy in the whole world.

Good. Hey, glad you made it.

Me too.

Well, this is my daughter, Mallory.

Sweetie, this is Faith, my friend I told you about.

Hey, and you must be... Justin, my son.

Hi, Justin.

So why don't you two run along and play and we'll pick you up after dark or

thereabouts. You are so funny.

Justin, let's go play on the swings.

You can push me.

These seats better not suck.

Great kid.

He looks just like you, too.

Now who's being funny?

It's so good to find someone who can make me laugh.

Most of the girls I date are so serious.

All I want to do is play games.

Oh, I know what you mean. I dated this guy once. He was obsessed with

backgammon. It was so annoying.

Backgammon? You're a hoot.

I'll bet you say that to all the girls.

I'll bet I don't.

The zoo?

Out with Chris.

It's our first grown-ups-only outing.

We're going to take this relationship from SpongeBob SquarePants to SpongeBob

Notepads.

When are you going to tell him that I'm not really your son?

When he falls in love with me.

Whatever, because I'm not going out with you anymore. Mallory is obsessed with

me. She tried to kiss me on the lips.

Don't you worry about her.

Once Chris marries me, I'm shipping her off to boarding school.

Nice.

Okay, Justin, girls are upstairs. We'll be home around 10.

My, my, what's the occasion?

Wait, don't tell me. Charlie's trying to make up for not knowing you by taking

you out to dinner?

He's driving me crazy.

All right, sweetie, whose favorite color is sage?

We're off to your favorite restaurant, Il Molino.

I'll go warm up the car because I know you hate to be cold. And I'll stop

talking now because I know you hate to be late.

I thought Chez Jean was your favorite restaurant.

It is.

You look nice.

So when do we get to meet Mr. Wonderful?

Soon, soon.

Hello? Hey, Faith, it's Chris.

Hey, listen, my sitter just canceled.

But Mallory had a good idea. She thought I could just bring her over to stay with

Justin and your sitter.

Oh, um, my sitter just got arrested.

Really?

Well, I guess we could bring the kids.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bring the kids?

Sure, why not?

7.30, Chez Jean?

We'll see you there.

Not on...

Fine, but I'm gonna have to tell your mother about that lamp you broke.

What lamp?

Now, are you gonna go get dressed, or is this crazy rampage you're on gonna

continue?

I'm really glad you told me Chez Jean was your favorite restaurant.

I'd hate to be at Il Molino, especially since now it's a car wash.

Charlie, you don't have to keep trying to prove that you know everything about

me. The little things don't matter.

They do to me. And one thing I know is what you like to eat. So you just sit

back, and I'm going to order for you.

Wow.

It's a four flapper.

You look very handsome in that suit.

And Justin, doesn't Mallory look pretty in her dress?

I guess.

Wow, looks like somebody's got a crush.

She sure does.

I wasn't talking about Mallory.

Oh, Chris.

Let's just give our exes full custody and get out of here.

That's Justin's father?

Uh, well, yes.

Who's the woman he's with?

That's his wife. Yes, that makes sense.

And the lady will have the, um, the salmon.

Or wait, the lamb. No, the chicken, chicken.

Uh, you know what?

How about just a sampler platter? That's always fun.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

Hey, there's Faith.

Did he just roll his eyes at you?

What a jerk.

You have no idea.

I'm going to go meet her mystery man.

I'm just going to say hi.

Is she coming over here?

Oh.

She's crazy and a big fat liar. Keep that in mind, no matter what she says.

Hello.

I'm Charlie's wife, Hope.

You must be Chris.

My sister's told me so much about you.

I know your sister?

Faith's my sister.

Is that Justin?

How's it going?

I brought Justin along for Mallory.

Shouldn't you be getting back to your table? I believe that violinist is for

you.

Nice to meet you.

I guess.

I can't believe your own sister married your ex-husband.

It's gotta be so painful for you. Not as painful for me as it is for her.

He's a cross-dresser.

Look, why don't we go back to my place? I can cook.

And if everyone gets tired, we can have a sleepover.

A sleepover?

Did she tell you that I'm a bedwetter?

Shall we?

Hey, Justin, come here. I want to tell you a secret.

That's it!

Hey!

What? Your son just pushed my daughter.

She kissed...

No reason.

Now, why would you push her for no reason? Hey, wait a minute. If my son

says she kissed him, then that's exactly what happened.

Oh, so my daughter's a liar? Yes.

And a tramp in training wheels.

Well, are you sure you're not projecting?

I mean, is that a skirt or a belt?

It's a skelch!

And this is how it looks walking away.

Thanks for sticking up for me tonight.

Sorry about Chris.

Eh.

He's the type of guy that's gonna lose his looks in about... 60 years.

Besides, no one calls my favorite nephew a liar and gets away with it.

But we were lying about me being your son.

And that was wrong.

I'm supposed to be setting a good example for you, and I didn't, and I'm

sorry.

And if I ever do have a son... I hope he's a lady killer just like you.

Now pucker up, it's bedtime.

Chris, what are you doing here?

Mallory told me the truth.

Look, I'm so sorry I called Justin a liar.

Well, I'll pass along your apology.

I hope that you can forgive me, because I really do want to keep seeing you.

You are the most beautiful and exciting and funny woman I've met in a long time.

I'm really falling for you, Faith.

Oh, Chris, I'm falling for you, too.

But there's just this little tiny thing I have to tell you about my sister

and my ex-husband.

First... Just let me say how embarrassed I am about Mallory. She knows lying is

the one thing I cannot tolerate.

Not even a little bit?

You're a hoot and a half.

What did you want to tell me about your sister and your ex?

Hey, we're home.

Just that I live with them.

For tax purposes.

I didn't realize you had company. That's okay. We were just leaving. Let's go.

So you all live together.

Isn't that a little awkward?

Well, it was at first.

Until we moved her out over the garage.

And I couldn't be happier about it. Off we go!

Yeah, which reminds me, you're late on your rent.

Again. You make her pay rent?

And utilities.

Oh, Miss Moocher got a free ride long enough.

Charlie.

Let's go to dinner. Hey, hey.

Amanda, man, let me tell you.

This girl is a keeper, and I mean it.

Keeper!

All right, that's it.

I don't like the way you talk about the mother of your child, Mr.

Hey,

hey, hey!

Wait, stop it, stop it! I can explain!

Mom? Yes?

Okay, what is going on here?

All right.

Charlie, he thinks you're my ex-husband.

What? I know, it's disgusting.

He's not?

No, he's not.

And Justin is my nephew, not my son.

Look, you said you would only date a woman who had a child, so I lied because

I wanted to go out with you.

Sorry I lost it, man.

Guess I need to go back to my anger management support group.

Chris, I'm sorry.

Can you ever forgive me?

Not really.

Goodbye, Faith.

He's gone.

Well, you lied to him.

What do you expect?

I just wanted him to like me.

Faith, when are you going to learn to let someone like you for you?

Well, what if just me isn't enough?

Or way too much? Charlie.

You'll never know unless you try.

And eventually you'll find someone who loves you for you.

Just like I did.

And even though he might not know every little thing about you.

You'll love that he drives you crazy trying.

Me again.

I just had a really good cry in the car, and... And I realized I think I can

work on forgiving you.

I know a great couple support group we can go to.

Chris, how many support groups do you belong to?

Nine.

Plus a men's group, but I haven't been in a while because last time I had a

panic attack in the sweat lodge.

I'll tell you what, Chris.

Maybe you could call me when you're down to three support groups.

Oh, but email me about that man thing because that sweat lodge sounds

interesting.

I'm sorry.

You really dodged a bullet there.

Come on Justin, you can read me a bedtime story.

Charlie.

I also have closure issues.