Original subtitles

Thank you.

She comes to me

Checked the perimeter.

No sign of any dangerous animals, but blowing my bush now.

That's great, Ron.

Did you happen to find that little poop shovel you've been talking about ever

since we left town?

Couldn't find it anywhere. I just did my business.

Covered it up like a big old cat.

Meow.

Funniest thing, though. I swear I brought it.

Sure is pretty night.

I bet we could see every star in the sky right now.

I'm willing to bet Dodge Donuts that if we were up on top of a mountain, we'd be

able to see right into the future.

The infinite universe we live in and everything we don't understand.

We're just a minuscule speck of dust.

Kind of puts everything into perfect perspective.

Camping around clears my mind, you know.

When I was a boy, one of my fathers used to take me on these camping trips.

They were our special camping trips.

We used to sing and dance.

When it was hot out, we'd strip down to our skivvies and jump in the lake.

He used to chase me around the campfire, and boy, if he caught me, we'd wrestle

for hours and hours.

Jesus.

When it's quiet, though, and nature's turned in for the night, I like to pull

out my banjo and sing a song.

Nothing makes more sense to me than music, my favorite girl, And a gorgeous

night in front of a roaring campfire.

Oh, my mirrors. I've been talking with the storm.

Can I get you some coffee or something?

No.

Thanks.

Caffeine is really bad for you.

Have some fun sitting in the sun Gonna let the rays of light shine on my head

From the sky above I'm gonna make sweet

love And take my baby out for a bicycle ride

Do you feel a sense of calmness wash over you?

I feel like you should promise to never,

ever sing to me again.

Wow.

That was unexpected.

Was it, Ronald?

Really?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did I hurt your feelings?

We have been going out for almost five months, and you have done nothing to

show me that you actually want to be with me.

You haven't even tried to have sex with me. And that one time that I thought you

were going to, you started talking about how...

Han Solo is your favorite Star Wars character.

And then the topic somehow moved to how much you love your mother's sweet tea

and pancakes and how her jaw clicks when she chews.

Science fiction is a highly underrated genre.

My mother ended up needing surgery, which hasn't fixed the problem, thank

you for asking.

Have sex with me, Ronald, before I lose my fucking shit!

Where are you going?

I thought we were going to, you know, the thing.

Wooka-tooka, wooka-tooka, wooka-tooka.

I need to freshen up.

Oh, and Ronald.

Get it ready for me.

Get what?

Oh, yeah, that.

I'm going to be a snake in the grass in no time.

Hey, I'm going to make you hotter than a three-packer billy goat.

Maybe work on your dirty talk.

Hello?

I'm gonna pick you at my banjo, girl.

I'm gonna fuck them strings!

I'm gonna straighten you up. Oh, that might not work. That's not gonna work.

I know you just heard a deer bedding down for the night, not some crazy

serial killer.

Come on, little buddy.

I don't have as much out of you.

This girl is top shelf.

My boyfriend is right over there, and he will kick your ass!

Oh, for Pete's sake!

Just think of...

Farrah Fawcett and Ronnie Anderson in a love puddle.

Dear Dolly, it's about time.

Is that you, babe?

I got something for you.

Don't be messing around now.

I've been boxing the ball champ for several minutes and I'm ready for a

knockout.

this is different good thing i like different

Thank you.

Hiding secrets with a twisted frown.

Steps in silence that evil clown.

The clown behind the smile.

He's got a wicked style.

Red shoes that tap, tap, tap.

In shadows, hill and truck.

Bright lights flashing, city's never sleeping

Neon dreams we're chasing Heartbeats always racing

Shadows in the alleys Music

in the air Dancing in the silence Lost without a care We're living in neon

Dreams we're holding tight

Devin.

Devin!

Devin!

What was that?

You're a dirty little slut?

Girl, I already knew that.

No, it's fine. You sleep for six hours straight. And I'll drive for the entire

time.

Penis.

Peanut! Peanut!

Oh, you're awake!

What the hell was that?

Where are we? We passed through Idaho a couple of hours ago.

Oh shit, how long have I been sleeping?

For a couple of hours.

You kept farting in your sleep.

Oh my god, whatever.

No, seriously.

You're like a farm animal.

Shut up, bitch.

Is that him again?

Devin. What?

Is that him again?

Yeah.

You kept calling while you were asleep, too.

I'm pretty sure you promised me you'd block this number.

I did.

But then his mom texted me.

Oh my god.

She asked that I not completely shut him out.

Evidently he's back in therapy and she says he's doing really good.

Oh really?

His mommy?

The only one that would advocate for that piece of actual amoeba shit.

And she has the audacity to text you and beg you not to cut off her son?

God.

The toxicity exuding from your guys' relationship is actually horrifying.

Plus, besides me, the only person that gives two shits about you is your mom.

Now that she's gone, getting the hell away from him was the only way.

I don't need to be rescued, okay?

Staying at my aunt's, who I haven't seen in over 10 years, with my best friend,

you know, as much of a bitch as she is, is all I need to clear my head.

Remind me again why your aunt?

I told you, my mom reconnected with her after she got sick.

They were not close at all, but I guess even after 12 years of not talking to

each other,

They still loved each other, so they talked and then we talked and she

is still the same crazy Aunt Connie that I remember.

Oh my god, when I used to visit when I was a kid, I remember her being so warm

and protective of me.

Never knowing my dad, I felt like she kind of took in the reins, you know?

I don't know.

Maybe she felt sorry for me.

Or maybe because she lost her own daughter, I was just a decent

consolation.

Is that a shitty thing to say? I mean calling yourself a consolation prize is

pretty inaccurate.

I would say you're a participation trophy at best.

Suck my dick.

We'll see you next time.

What the hell are you doing?

I seriously need to take a piss, and despite your opposition to doing it

outside, I don't want to brag, but I'm pretty goddamn good at it.

We're like 20 minutes away. You can't hold it.

Bitch, you have two ginormous children, and an addiction to energy drinks and

ice mochas, and you see how well your bladder holds up. In the time you've

talked about needing to pee, we'd probably be there already.

Do you want to come with me?

Hard pass.

Thanks. Whatever, you're such a baby.

You know, don't expect me to pull ticks off of your ass.

Stupid.

Great.

No service.

talk to you about finding dead human bones in the woods.

What?

What my emotionally dysregulated friend is trying to say, we found human remains

in the woods outside of town.

And how do you know those were human remains?

Well, once you see one set of human remains, you've kind of seen them all.

There was a human skull.

And what did that skull look like?

I'm sorry. It looked like your head with nothing but Fucking on it!

Is there a problem, ladies?

The problem is that we need to talk to somebody other than Captain Graybush

here.

We found human remains in the woods outside of town.

Well now, that's not something you see every day, is it?

Officer Briggs, please escort these young ladies back to my office so we can

get their statements and maybe get to the bottom of this. You hear that?

We're going to go back there and they're going to take our statements.

Because that's how shit gets done. Done. Did you hear that, Officer Wrinkles?

Now grab your walker and escort us.

Thank you.

Detective Oxnard will be in shortly.

That detective was pretty cute.

I didn't see a ring on his finger.

Do you think he's married?

Oh, I'm sorry. Are we practically pissing on human remains already?

Human remains are not.

You know I cannot resist a man in uniform.

I quiver at the thought of how fast he'd get those handcuffs on me.

Oh my god, Jill. Shut up.

They might be recording us.

Oh, shit.

You think?

So if I just start making noises, they might play it back for us later? Jill,

stop it.

Oh my god, detective.

Show me where you keep your pistol.

Oh, and your gun safe?

Yeah, that's a very safe and responsible spot.

Oh, now read me my fucking rights!

Shut the fuck up!

Sorry for the delay, ladies.

Things sometimes move pretty slow around here. We're not used to lively folk like

yourself interrupting the charm in our peaceful little community.

You understand?

Now, about these remains.

What can you tell me?

So it's like this.

I drink way too much caffeine because this sleepy bitch over here can't keep

her eyes open to save her life.

Long story short, I pull over on the side of the road and sprint into the

woods to pee, and that's when I found the human remains under the remnants of

a sleeping bag.

And where were you?

Me? I waited in the car.

My apologies.

What I mean was, where was this skull found?

Oh, out on the old hall road.

That's a little bit off the beaten path, don't you think?

Well, that's the only way I remember taking as a kid.

I did just see that the highway comes right through town now, though.

And where are you two coming from exactly?

Denver.

Colorado.

I see.

Well, then what...

Pray tell brings y'all to Grant County.

The human remains, mostly.

Yep, it's time to check that off the old bucket list.

Actually, my mom just passed away, and I was in a really bad relationship.

I didn't have any other family up there, so I decided to come and stay with my

Aunt Connie for a while.

Ah, you're Connie's niece.

That means you must be Devin.

And you must be Jill.

Your Aunt Connie's been talking up the two of you for weeks.

Ah! Don't say another goddamn word to these fucking pigs.

I tried to stop her, but she's too damn fast. I told you to wait out there,

Connie. Fuck him, and fuck you too.

Jill? Detective?

This is Aunt Connie.

Oh, shit.

Your aunt is Eminem?

My niece and her differently abled friend here are not going to say another

word to you without legal representation.

Aunt Connie, it's not like that at all. I told you on the phone. We're just here

filing a report.

Miss Devereaux, while I do appreciate your enthusiasm and sincere lack of tact

and willingness to help your niece, they're not suspects.

On the phone, you said you've... You dumped a whole body in the woods and

we're coming here to turn yourselves in.

That is not at all what I said, Aunt Connie. I said we found bones out in the

woods and we're here filing a report.

Well, that's it?

Well, why the fuck didn't you say so? I did.

Literally, like 20 minutes ago. Listen, we'll get a couple of officers out there

and if we find anything, we'll be sure to get a forensics team on it.

In the meantime, I took your numbers in case I need to get a hold of you.

If you try and pin anything on my niece, I

swear to God, I will sue this department and you and your cohort

will be under the bridge eating cold soup through your pee holes. Do you

understand me?

You call me.

This is my guest slash junk crew.

We didn't have a lot of time to prepare, so I guess it'll have to do.

This is perfect, Aunt Connie. I just really appreciate you giving me a place

to land.

Dibs on the right side.

This one is beginning to make my ass itch.

Love you too, Aunt Connie.

Dinner's in 30 minutes.

If you're not out there in time, I'm going to feed your plate to the

neighbor's asshole chihuahua.

Tough.

I think I'm going to be okay.

Bitch, I know you're going to be okay.

Even if the asshole Chihuahua gets our dinner.

You know, it's like I took a Polaroid of what my future is going to look like and

just waiting for it to develop.

Look, other than telling you how awful of a metaphor that was, I know whatever

proverbial road you choose to take from here on out.

You'll always be headed in the right direction.

Oh, do you want to make out with me?

Oh my god, yes!

I heard that!

Mom?

Are you okay?

What do you need?

Can I get you your treatment?

Here.

I'm afraid if I fall asleep, I won't wake back up.

Don't be silly, Mom.

I'll take you to the appointment with Dr. Kendall in the morning.

We can figure out if the chemo is working.

We both know what Dr. Kendall is going to say.

Mom, please don't say that. There's still so many other things we can try.

They have trials now.

More chemo.

We can even get a new oncologist.

Please. I don't know why you're so ready to give up.

Maybe if you would just lie next to me.

For a little while.

Like I used to do for you when you were little.

Of course, Mom.

I'm sorry.

Mom? How are you standing?

You haven't walked in weeks.

I'm better, Devin.

Just like you hoped for.

Don't you want to come give me a hug?

Where are you going?

Mom?

What is this?

Mom, who did this?

When you bury me, make sure I'm dead.

Mom, you're scaring me.

When you bury me, make sure I can't dig my way out.

Mom, please stop.

If I get out, I'll find you.

And I'll make you... Hey, for letting me die.

What's the matter?

Mommy's right here.

I hope you know I only know how to cook cereal.

I am really not that hungry.

You super skinny bitches are never hungry.

I'm not skinny.

Okay, stripper full of titties.

Titties? For real? Are we in middle school again?

You know that's when I peaked. I just can't let it go.

And you're not Jason Momoa asking me to ride off into the sunset on his dick.

Yet here we are.

Is Devin here?

I don't know. Unknown creeper undressing me with his eyes. Is she?

Who is it? I think a stray dog.

Oh my god!

Trent! Oh my bad. I guess it's Trent.

Yeah, Jill, this is Trent. The guy that I was telling you about that I used to

spend my summers here with.

Oh, Trent.

Oh. It's just that when you described him, you didn't make him sound so rakey

looking. Joe, what the hell?

That was rude.

Sorry about her.

Anyways, how have you been?

Good, good.

When did you get into town?

Just last night.

What the heck have you been up to lately?

Not a lot, just working with my dad, doing odd jobs, things like that. Okay,

that sounds pretty cool.

Not really.

But I get to make my own schedule.

Oh, okay. That'd be nice.

Yeah, so how was the trip out here?

Your aunt told my mom that you were going to be here, and here you are.

Little Miss Devin Cavanaugh.

Girl, you used to call me Chunky and throw mug pies at me.

Oh, you're not still mad about that, are you? Well, I was overweight, and

I got bullied about it all the way through high school.

But that was forever ago.

Do you want a slice or are you still on a diet?

Why would I still need to be on a diet?

So anyways, me and some friends are having a get together later on.

You guys are more than welcome to come join, hang out, meet the crew.

You don't have to if you don't want, but offer's open.

That sounds like it could be fun.

Cool. I'll text you the address later.

Don't you need my phone number first?

Oh, shit.

Yeah. Yeah.

What is it? It's 303-555-8871.

Just sent you a text. Okay. Save that number.

Okay. Consider it saved.

All right. Cool. See you later. See ya.

If you let that man anywhere near your lady parts, I will fucking end you. You

got problems, dude.

Yeah, probably.

Pizza?

Oh, what the hell is that?

It's the phone, dummy.

Oh, should we answer it?

I don't know. Maybe there's a voicemail or something.

Does something that old have voicemail? Well, how the hell should I know, Jill?

You've reached Connie's phone.

If you're the IRS, fuck you. If you're a telemarketer, double fuck you. And if

you're calling about the leather catsuit, it's already been spoken for.

For everyone else, leave a message at the tone.

This place just keeps getting weirder and weirder. This is Detective Oxnard

with the Grant County Sheriff Department.

We confirmed that those were human remains at the location that we spoke

about.

send those off to the lab and have them ID'd.

If you have any questions, please call me at 1-800-649-2568.

So that's it?

Hi, dumb bitches who probably solved our cold case.

We found human remains exactly where you said they would be, proving that even

women can be useful.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go eat my wife's meatloaf and have mediocre

sex with her. Goodbye!

What a fucking joke.

Oh my god!

Does that have a bone in it?

Answer it! I should.

It might be Detective calling back.

Hello?

Hello?

Who the hell is it?

Who is this?

Whoever this is, you better fucking think again before calling here.

Somebody not like the cat soup?

I was so fucked up.

You should hear the shit my brother says to the 12-year-olds he plays video games

with. He's 38.

Speaking of 12-year-olds, did Trent invite us out for a couple of roofie

cocktails? No.

He wanted us to come and meet his friends, you know?

But it might be nice for us to get out.

How messy things have been.

You gonna have weed?

Coke? Molly?

It doesn't matter. I brought my own.

No, yeah, let's go out and have a couple of light beers and listen to the Dave

Matthews Band with your school shooter friend.

It'll be super.

Try not to be an asshole tonight, okay? You're going to be leaving soon and...

These are all the people I'm going to have left.

I really want to make a good first impression, okay?

Shouldn't have worn that outfit, then.

What the fuck, Jill?

Hey, guys.

Hey. Welcome to Casa de Trent.

Do you mean Casa de Trent's parents' house?

Oh, you got me.

Yeah, I live at my parents' house.

Fascinating story, Trent. Do you have time to tell it again?

Shots fired.

This is a really nice place you got here, Trent.

Thanks.

Hey guys!

This is Devin, one of my oldest friends, and her friend Jill.

Devin, Jill, this is Liz, my baby sister Haley, and my brother Travis.

Damn, you got fucking hot.

Wow. Okay, hi Travis. It's good to see you too.

Yeah, it is.

You got a hug for me?

Uh... Oh.

Okay.

Yeah.

Devin fucking Cavanaugh.

Yeah, we go way back.

Who are you even talking to right now?

So, there's Trent, Travis, Haley.

Your parents run out of tre-names? Like Trina, Trevanna.

Fun fact, Haley was actually the name of the doctor who convinced our parents.

It was just a little too late to abort me.

Lucky you.

Yeah, I'm still here and everything.

So not really. Yeah.

So can I get you something to drink?

Yeah, I'd have a beer if you have one. One lukewarm beer coming right up.

Chill. Got any of the hard stuff?

Tequila.

I guess I'm staying.

Wow, Trent.

You know, I didn't know you knew so many people.

No, I didn't invite them.

Easy Steve did.

What is an Easy Steve?

Hey, Trent!

Great fucking party, man!

Easy Steve.

Dude is legendary.

He graduated in the 90s, but he crashes all the parties.

He also invites hordes of people to party with him.

He looks like he did... porn in the 70s and then quit when they switched from

film to video.

So, um, those beers.

Can you give me a hand?

Yeah, sure.

Is

this...

Uh, yeah, you can have some, but they're...

aren't any cups out here where i'm going i don't need a cup

I don't recognize any of these people.

Maybe you should have came around more.

Oh my god, look at you!

Little baby Trent!

Oh, that's exactly how I remember you.

I had that same awful haircut for years.

My mom would always take me to the barber and ask for the little boy's

haircut.

It always meant something different to everybody else, but it was always a

monstrosity. Well, thank god you finally took control over your hair!

No shit.

No shit!

Oh my god, are you okay?

Yeah... Ah, fuck!

Are you sure you're okay?

That was intense.

I'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

No, I shouldn't have...

I'm sorry. Look, no, at the risk of sounding like the world's biggest

cliche, I just got out of a really bad relationship.

Cow bad?

No,

it's okay.

Bad enough that I had to move really far away from it.

Damn, Bev.

Sorry that happened to you.

I've never had to move away from anything like that before, so it's a

really brave thing you did.

It sounds like he needs his ass kicked.

Yeah, at least once a day for the rest of his fucking life.

Do you want a hug?

I guess.

be when you grow up. Are you for real?

Everything you see here is real.

Do that again.

Hallie.

It's Haley. Okay, Hallie.

How old are you? Wait, don't tell me. I'm 16.

It's just a little baby. I thought you were 17.

Jill, right?

i'm gonna ask you a question real quick do you look at yourself in the mirror

and instantly see the child version of yourself just screaming writhing

and shouting at your present self to prepare for an existence of utter

disappointment and anguish no but one time i got really drunk at

a texas roadhouse and i threw up on the waiter

And then I banged him in the parking lot.

Right. And, um, how did that make you feel?

I'm making a documentary about post-feminism theory and how it affects

the male ego.

Baby sis here makes movies.

No shit?

Like Spielberg-type stuff?

Yeah, like Spielberg-type stuff. My baby daddy liked to make movies.

By himself.

For money.

And then he cheated on me with a guy named Derek.

Oh, shit. He was playing for the other team?

Yeah, but, like, love is love.

It just sucks to get dumped for some skinny white guy in glasses.

Uh, Jill, is it?

Yeah.

Why are you here?

I'm sorry.

Contasaurus, is it?

Did you just ask me why I'm here?

So do you go to Texas Roadhouse a lot? Silence, miniature poodle.

You're a miniature poodle.

Fuck you, seven-year senior, Travis.

Eat a bag of dicks.

You've been here, what, 20 minutes? And I already cannot stand you.

Damn, Liz.

What's up your ass?

What the fuck did you just say to me, bitch? What the fuck did you just say?

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Half-bite!

I just remembered how much I hate Ted Cruz. Absolutely fuck this bitch. I'm

leaving. I'm sorry, Liz.

It was nice to meet you.

Shit. Oh, is she leaving?

Bye, Liz. Love your hair.

That was fucking crazy. Girl went all Marky Mark on the Funky Bunch and got

emceed hammered.

fucking bitch like my hair like fuck you

Dev, why don't we try this again when you get settled in

Why don't you make, like, a mouth and eat cheese, dick?

Okay, good talk, Jill.

Let's go.

Dev, wait.

I really am sorry about what happened earlier in the kitchen.

No. What happened in the kitchen?

Nothing, Jill.

Why don't you go wait in the car?

Look, like I said, things are just...

really confusing right now.

I just, I don't know where any of this goes.

What happened in the kitchen, guys?

What happened in the kitchen? Nothing, Jill. Go get in the car.

I completely understand.

I mean, even if I don't know what it's like to pack up and pull up roots like

you did, it's a brave thing.

What happened in the kitchen?

Get in the car, Jill!

You guys don't have to yell.

We've got a lot of history, so let's just ride that wave, you know?

I'm glad that you're here.

You too.

Drive safe.

I will.

They seem really nice.

Really? That's all you've got?

They seem nice.

I'm sorry I called Trent a school shooter.

Hallie... And what was that other guy's name?

Parker? It's Travis Jill.

Jesus Christ, you know, you would know that if you wouldn't have gotten balls

deep in that fucking bottle.

Yeah, like I'm the only one that has something to work out.

Why are we here, Devin?

That's not even the same. Why are we here, Devin? Because I fucked up, Jill.

Because I made a shit ton of mistakes and everyone around me has to pick up

the slack because I'm so overwhelmingly incompetent. Is that what you want to

hear? I have to pick up the slack.

Every time.

Do you know what kind of bearing that has on me?

I'm a single mom with two kids.

And I'm away from them right now.

And for what?

So my best friend can have another fresh start.

Do you know what that does to me?

Nobody asked you to do any of this, Jill.

Yes, I absolutely hate this.

But if it means you're going to throw things in my face when you don't want to

own up your own shit, then I don't want your fucking help. Fine. Fine.

Do you think Taco Bell is still open?

Yeah, I can meet you there. Just give me a few.

Okay, bye.

Hey, so what's going on?

I found Liz's car on the side of the road last night coming from my house.

Oh shit, is she okay?

They haven't found her.

You didn't see her car when you guys drove by, did you?

Oh shit.

I don't remember.

Would she have gone the same way as us?

Yeah, the road kind of ends at my house.

You gotta go through Banner Forest to get back to town.

Are they searching for her or anything?

The sheriff's office didn't really elaborate.

It's just that they already spoke with my neighbors and we were next on their

list.

I, of course, told them that she was at my house last night.

Did you happen to mention the fight?

No, I didn't think it was pertinent information.

Well, everybody at that party saw Jill Hulk smash Liz last night.

Liz will turn up.

It's fucked up to say, but she goes missing all the time.

The only difference is, usually she's got her car.

That's weird.

Why are you friends with her, then?

She had a shit job.

Mom ducked out early.

Dad was an abuser.

Maybe it's sympathy.

She's got good weed.

Oh, there it is. Okay, the married you wanna, huh?

Um, so anyways, um, I was wondering if you guys want to go camping this

weekend?

Camping? Are you kidding me? With Liz missing? There's no way.

What's more freeing than a campfire and some beer and Travis burping, hey, he's

almost a stud.

Oh, well, when you put it that way.

Think about it. I gotta run.

I gotta go check some gamecams up at Highgrass Lake.

Gamecams? What for?

Up at the Roy Farm.

Something's been stealing his chicken. So he asked my dad to put some cameras

up. See what's going on.

Oh, so you're like a pet detective now, huh?

Yeah, like Ace Ventura.

Oh, right.

Okay,

yeah, don't ever do that again.

All right, all right. Well, um... So, camping?

I'm going to have to check with Jillian, but I think we can probably make it.

Cool. Well, text me later.

Okay. See you, Trent. See you.

Good morning.

Hey, you're back.

Sit down.

Have a bowl of cereal.

And Connie is currently out of milk, but that's okay because she has buttermilk.

But she didn't mention it was buttermilk.

Nothing soothes a hangover quite like thick, buttery

buttermilk.

How are you?

I'm fine, but I just wound up with Trent and evidently Liz is missing.

Good. I hope she's getting mauled by a bear, Leo Decap style.

You do realize that you came at her like a crazy person last night? Sure do.

I'm still scraping that bitch's skin out from underneath my fingernail.

You know, I don't care that you're sitting here at my table giving me

cancer.

I like you.

Love you too, Aunt Connie.

Anyways,

Trent says she does this kind of thing all the time, so... So what's the

problem then?

Well, the problem is that they found her car outside of Banner Forest last night

after the party.

I bet my left nut she hitchhiked her way to a Leonard Skinner concert.

Yeah, that seems to be the most likely scenario.

Well, whatever she's doing, I hope she's doing it with chlamydia.

Do not come at me when I just met you.

Fuck around, find out.

It's kind of like buttermilk.

I don't know where I was going with that.

Because I'm gonna puke.

Hey, Aunt Connie, can I ask you something?

Yeah.

How do you know Rachel Cavanaugh?

How do you know that name?

Well, I found an old newspaper clipping in one of your old books.

Are we related or something?

Rachel Cavanaugh is sort of a second cousin of sorts, but yeah.

We have a distant cousin who's also a serial killer?

Allegedly a killer.

But I swear to you, she didn't do anything wrong.

Oh, I didn't mean to offend you.

That's enough.

Stay out of my things.

Is that a fucking clown?

Man, I haven't been able to hike any of these trails yet. Aunt Connie wouldn't

let me when I was a kid because of what she called android bears.

What the hell is an android bear?

An android bear is a robotic bear that's programmed to kill hikers and people

from California.

She was pretty specific about it.

Hey, Haley. Do you remember when we went down to Mission Creek and...

There was this rock, like a 45 degree angle.

And you took your shoes off and you were like, I'm going to slide down it.

And you did, but you forgot the creek was down at the bottom.

We heard a splash when you fell in.

It was so funny. Yeah. And then you and Travis finally found the way down to the

bottom a whole two minutes later. Because you're both a bunch of pussies,

but we never talk about that, do we?

One time when Devin and I were both 13, we both liked the same guy.

So I straight up told him that she had crabs.

Oh my god, you're the one that started that fucking rumor?

Dude, people called me Crabby Patty for like six fucking months after that.

Well, maybe you don't have crabs, sweaty.

I'm sure everyone forgot about it by now.

I'll never forget.

That reminds me, Trent.

Remember when we were little?

We used to have to take baths together.

And I took a shit in the tub.

I told you it was a tugboat.

You kept playing with it, making motorboat sounds.

I kept calling you Captain Crap.

Mom was so pissed.

That's really fucked up, Travis.

Okay, so I have a question.

Go, what's up?

I asked my aunt about something that I found in her house earlier today, and

she got really weird and, like, snappy at me about it.

Was it her vibrator?

Ew! No,

it was not a vibrator. It was, like, some newspaper clippings from the 80s or

something.

You guys know a Rachel Cavanaugh?

You don't know who Rachel Cavanaugh is?

My aunt said she's like a distant cousin or something, but that's all she said

about it. No fucking way.

Dude, who is she?

She was a badass bitch.

Settle down, Turbo.

So you guys know who I'm talking about then? Yeah, Deb. She's our local serial

killer. I thought I read something about that. So what's the story?

This was like the early 80s.

Rachel Cavanaugh, a bunch of her friends, they go out camping in this

cabin in the woods near here.

And everything is fine until she starts tripping out, telling everybody that

she sees this guy dressed up as a clown.

Well, she ends up murdering all of her friends.

Then skips on down to the Herman farm, smokes the two brothers there.

There was a third brother.

He was just a baby.

I don't know if she just had a thing for babies or didn't know he was there, but

what an asshole.

So that's it? Did she kill anyone else?

Fuck yeah, she did.

In the span of a day, she murked like ten people.

They found her all bloodied up in a ditch on the side of the highway,

completely silent.

Oh my god, I can't even imagine what could have happened.

So, she's found in a ditch.

Then what?

Not fit to stand trial.

Boom.

Ends up in an institution.

Gets gang-banged by a bunch of the male nurses.

Ends up pregnant as fuck.

What happened to the baby?

I don't know. Probably aborted it.

Your story seems to have some holes in it.

Yeah, I mean, like...

I'm sure this person existed, but I doubt all of this happened.

Okay, so where's the cabin then? Is that still around?

Yeah, no, it still exists. My Cutters Anonymous group used to go there

frequently, and it is really creepy. I think we passed it down the road on the

way here.

Oh, shit.

I want to go.

At night?

You crazy?

Hard pass.

No thank you.

Yeah, the remaining brother, they say, squats at the cabin, waiting to get his

much-deserved revenge on the woman that killed his family.

And locals say they see him all the time, either on the logging roads or in

the woods, and they all say the same thing.

He's dressed up just like a clown.

Whatever.

Yeah.

Hey, guys, it's true.

No, actually...

I was checking Dad's game cams, and I think I saw that guy up at the Roy farm.

Full clown attire and everything.

No fucking way.

Yeah. No.

No, yeah, he's been stealing chickens from that farm.

Now you're full of shit.

I'll show you when we get back, man.

Whatever, dickhead.

You're a douche canoe.

No wonder you're almost 40 and still single.

At least I'm not a giant diaper-wearing pussy.

What the hell was that?

Okay, well, on that note, think it's time to call it a night.

It's fucking cold out here anyway.

Come on, you guys.

Don't leave.

I still got a bunch of stories where Trent touches my shit.

Are you serious?

I was not built for nature.

You guys hear that?

This is exactly what happens right before I die. Fucking know it.

It's just coyotes.

Really scary sounding coyotes.

That's the ghosts of all those people Rachel Cavanaugh killed.

They heard us talking about them. First of all, we've all seen Stand By Me.

so you can shut the hell up. And secondly, you are freaking me out, man.

Rachel Cavanaugh, is that you?

Dude, knock it off.

Nah, it's cool, bro.

Hey, Haley, isn't this where Rachel Cavanaugh buried all her victims around

here?

Travis, I'm three-fourths the way to shitting my pants. And what?

It's cool, Haley. I don't think ghosts kill virgins anyways.

Then you'll be safer than me, stupid. Guys it's like 3 30 go to bed

Good night rachel cavanaugh

Joe

He's outside the tent.

Travis?

Are you fucking with the tent?

What are you talking about?

Yeah, we've all been asleep, Dev.

I would have heard him get out of the tent.

I can assure you, it wasn't him.

Glad you finally got some sleep. Yeah, you want to call it that.

Shit, I have no idea what the fuck was outside of our tent last night, but I've

rarely been as scared as I was then.

Tree branches?

Come on, I'll take rabid squirrels over tree branches.

Looks like my idiot brother and your asshole friend are getting along.

Why am I not surprised?

Oh my god, can you imagine if they procreated?

That's the kind of shit that wakes you up at night in a cold sweat.

That's an image I'll never get out of my head.

Hey,

Debbie?

Yeah, what's up?

Is this yours?

No.

Let me see that.

Oh my god.

Tell me that's not fucking blood.

It's definitely not blood.

Fuck.

The fuck is going on over here?

I found this necklace in this tree right outside of where our tent was.

Oh my god.

What? That's Liz's necklace.

Bullshit. That could be anybody's necklace.

Nah, dude. She wears that pentacle every day.

Hey, Debbie?

You have blood on you.

Oh my god!

Uh, is that what I think it is?

Guys, this is somebody's tongue.

And you just picked it up.

Alright, we get into service, we call the police, tell them what we found and

where we found it.

I touched this, it's dumb.

But usually I only touch it dumb when it's in my mouth.

I have bars!

Good. Call 911.

One minute, I'm thinking about taking a post-camping shit.

And the next, I'm touching someone's severed ball licker.

Oh my god, I have a ton of texts and voicemails from Detective Oxnard. I do

too. We'll see what he wants. I'm working on it, Haley.

Oh my god.

What?

They found Liz's body.

Did they say if she was missing anything like I don't know her fucking tongue

come on Haley

Travis

it's not the fucking tongue

What the fuck, man?

Maybe use your head and stop doing stupid shit.

Listen, we don't have time to stand around and bitch at each other. Devin,

give me a cup from the car.

Do you want the I smoke a cup or the slushy cup? It doesn't matter, Devin.

Here.

Okay, Travis.

I want you to put the tongue inside the cup, okay?

You can pour the liquid out first. Sorry, Haley, it wasn't the first thing

I thought about.

All right, if we're all done circle jerking each other now, we need to get

back in the car and call the sheriff's office and calmly explain to them that

we may have found evidence linked to Liz's murder and that said evidence has

been tampered with because our friend Travis here is an insufferable fuckhole.

Wait. So you want us to just go to the sheriff's office, say, hey guys, I'm

here with a cup with my dead friend's severed tongue in it.

Come on, man.

That sounds like a bad movie.

Look, we'll figure it out when we get there. We just need to go.

Um, I'm not, I'm not sitting next to the job.

It's not happening.

Anyone want gum?

I have some.

You can keep that.

What the hell is taking them so long?

I don't know.

Probably trying to figure out a way to charge us with tampering with evidence.

Oh, you mean like the part where we sauntered in with somebody's fucking

tongue?

Uh, you're welcome.

Well, if it isn't the mystery gang back to fuck up my universe.

I would like to just say that I practically begged them to put the

tongue back.

Thanks a lot, Judas.

Well, I can't definitely say that you didn't act somewhat precipitously by

removing evidence from what is now a crime scene. And whose bright idea was

that anyways?

You hear that, Travis? You fucking dumbass. Easy, Jill.

So what happened to Liz?

Miss Cavanaugh, this is an open investigation, which means I'm not at

liberty to discuss for fear of repercussions.

And with the way my luck goes, it'd be raining big fat titties out.

I'd look up and catch a dick.

What do you mean you can't discuss the case with us?

We brought you the tongue.

We brought you the necklace.

We've practically solved this case.

You haven't solved anything, and I know you must be frustrated. Frustrated?

Frustrated! We've been here for one week and already we found human remains.

And Liz, even though she is, was, sorry Trent, even though

she was a raging bitch, she ended up dead too.

I'm just kind of waiting around to see when I can be turned into a human

lampshade in somebody's farmhouse.

Frustrated? We're far past frustrated, buddy.

Okay, let's pump the brakes right there, sweetheart.

First of all, those bones were from a couple of campers who fought with a

grizzly bear some 40 years ago and lost.

Secondly, we'll take the correct measures to find out what happened to

your friend.

It's called due process.

That's how an investigation works.

Thank you. Thank you, sir. You are a true inspiration.

Back to blue.

I'm sorry.

Listen, we have your statements and we'll keep you updated with what we can

tell you. For the meantime, don't be thinking you'll be going too far. Stay

close. We may need more from you.

Do we get to keep the tongue?

Ah, for fuck's sakes.

Have a nice day.

That was a complete waste of time.

You didn't give two shits about anything you had to say.

If anything, you made us look more guilty.

They've got detective work to do, and whether we like it or not, it takes

time.

That asshole in there cares more about his wife's meatloaf than he does about

actual detective work.

Does meatloaf, like, code for something sexual?

I'm just wondering. Look, we just need to do what we do and wait until we hear

back. Right.

That is a great idea, Devon. There is a serial killer on the loose, and I'm just

gonna sit back and watch the butchering happen.

Great! Oh, pipe down.

Nobody has an hour to listen to you talk about the fall of the patriarchy. They'd

rather kill themselves.

So now we're just dishing out self-harm jokes, right? You gonna make a little

TikTok dance about it? You gonna keep being a millennial bitch about it? Shut

the fuck up!

What the fuck is this?

Just thought it would help if we had a sketch of the perp. That's great, Trav.

He's right, though. I mean, what if it's the vermin, though?

Well, now that we have this incredibly accurate sketch to go off of, look, he

even drew a dick on it. We basically solved the case and caught the perp.

Let's go get it fucked up.

Breach.

Guys.

The clown.

We might really have something.

Did anybody ask Travis if he washed his hands?

Hey, Briggs.

Why don't you pull me the file for the surviving Herman kid?

Yes, sir.

And one more thing.

Stop microwaving your curry in the break room.

Smells like a rotten moose embalmed with buttermilk or some shit. Have a little

respect.

Sure thing, sir.

Hey!

Where you going?

Heading to the store to get some beer and some jerky.

I told you that if you keep drinking like that, you're gonna get erectile

dysfunction just like your father.

I'm 36 years old, Mom. Quit talking about my junk.

I changed your time. Travis Michael, I bet nothing's changed.

Ma, what the hell is wrong with you?

What's up, gorgeous?

Hey, T.

What are you doing here?

Here for some candy?

Yeah, let me go get some beers and I'll come back for dessert.

Okay. Alright.

Uh, you're selling the, uh, Plan B?

Plan B?

Yeah, you know, the pill that, like... Corrects mistakes?

Yeah, yes, some of that.

Yeah. This is a convenience store, sir.

Maybe try the Walgreens down the street.

So much for being convenient.

Excuse me?

I mean, you call yourselves a convenience store, but they can't even

get a simple contraceptive?

It's kind of the antithesis of convenient.

Did you just try to say antithesis?

Have you ever actually touched a woman?

Look at me.

Every day.

They don't call me Travis the Fur Trapper for nothing.

Really? Is that what they call you?

You know it.

Or Travis the Boner Train.

The Gash Smasher. The Cooch Crusher. The Muff Magician.

The Dirty Travis Sanchez.

Tramp Stamper.

Meat Cleaver. The Beaver Reliever.

And Bishop Travis.

What's up?

Wow. Impressive.

Are these women usually conscious?

What? Are the women in the room with us right now?

Is there a manager I can speak to?

Of course.

Hello, I'm the manager.

What is the problem?

Yeah, your employee is harassing me.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

Would you like to fill out a comment card?

No, I just want some fucking plan B.

Sorry. We don't have Plan B here.

We do have Plan A, though.

Try pulling out next time.

Whatever, bitch.

Have a nice night.

Thank you.

Please come see us again.

Damn. Guess I might have to get my sugar fix somewhere else.

Candy? Is that you?

I got beers.

Candy?

Where you at?

I'm hungry.

Fuck, you scared the shit out of me.

Did you get the plan B?

No, she didn't have it.

Oh, that's okay.

I'll still be your cum dumpster.

So, you ready to get this party started?

Yeah. I didn't bring my wallet, though, girl. That's okay. I got a free one for

you.

Do you like that T?

Fuck. Candy, are you alright?

What the fuck is that?

Oh shit! Fuck! Fuck!

Detective?

We've got another one. It's the Travis boy.

What are you doing?

I'm looking for more information on Rachel.

My aunt has got to have something somewhere.

I couldn't find anything on the internet.

What if it's her?

We don't even know if she's alive.

And if she is, she's probably locked up tighter than a tick's ass.

Tighter than a tick's ass? Really?

See, you're getting into the country spirit there, Billy Bob.

Wait, Trent. Slow down. Hold on. What?

Oh my god.

I'm on my way.

Why'd you fucking hurry?

LET ME FUCKING SEE HIM!

Right, you have to stand back, you know I can't let you do that. FUCK YOU!

LET ME SEE HIM!

Gee, I'm sorry for your loss, Trent.

I truly am.

We're going to find out who did this, and they're going to pay dearly.

Miss Cavanaugh, can I have a word with you?

Sure.

I'll take him home.

I'll be right back.

Miss Cavanaugh, do you have any knowledge of who Rachel Cavanaugh is?

My aunt said she's like a distant cousin or something.

Why? Did she do this?

Rachel Cavanaugh is dead.

She has been for years.

Jesus.

Why are you bringing her up then? Let me ask you another question, Miss

Cavanaugh. Are you familiar with the family she killed?

No.

Should I be?

July 27th, 1980.

Rachel Cavanaugh goes to a cabin and... These hills, with four of her friends.

Everything was fine at first, until at some point it wasn't. Her first victim,

Nancy Oliver, strangled.

Nancy's boyfriend, Louis, she cut his head clean off at the neck.

Why are you telling me this?

Next, she took out Louis' brother, Mark.

Bludgeoned to death with a rock.

Much like your friend Travis over there.

And last, but certainly not least, Joshua Miller.

He was going to be a lawyer, maybe one of the good ones, too.

She got him on the front steps, stabbed over 20 times.

The best part, he was in love with her, had a note declaring his love for her

and everything.

The poor bastard never had a chance.

But things went sideways when she got picked up by the Herman boys.

Talk about an unsavory bunch, in and out of prison, and more than a screw or two

loose. You want to witness the seedy underbelly of rural America?

Look no further than the Herman clan.

But you know what?

She got them too.

Now, I don't know how some five-foot, four-hundred-and-ten-pound woman murders

two good old boys like she's out grocery shopping, but she did.

When the sheriff's office picked her up, she didn't talk much at first.

until the sheriff at that time started slopping her around a bit that's when

she started screaming about some clown nonsense so they were all killed by a

vengeful funny man with a smiley face i'm sorry detective i don't

understand what any of that has to do with any of this edley herman just a

baby in a crib when he was found when rachel killed the two brothers

She left a baby brother to die, covered in sores and shit and barely a breath

left in him.

But you know what, Miss Cavanaugh?

Adlai Herman's alive and well today.

What are you saying?

I'm saying, I can't help you.

I'm saying, one way or another, Adlai Herman's gonna get his pound of flesh.

And if you stay here in this county, well, you're just plain laid down with

the devil himself.

Now you're best met.

You go on back to your aunt's place, you pack your things, and before another

drop of blood hits the ground, you get the hell out of my county.

I'll do a good job for myself.

We've got to form a vigilante committee and hang him to the highest tree. And

I'm going to start it. They say he'll shoot you as quick as he'll look at you.

But if I ever meet him face to face, I'll...

You heard me. I feel him too.

First I try to get my $87 back.

Kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty.

Come on you son of a bitch.

What

the

fuck is going on here?

Rip your nuts off, mother-

Hello? Hello, you gotta get somebody out here. Some fucking son of a bitch

dressed up like a juggalo asshole just attacked me.

What?

914 Whitefield Lane.

You better fucking hurry up. I am too old for this shit.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

to leave that's great and go where shit back to denver i guess i don't

know some sort of normalcy back to sean back to lies and empty

promises i can't let that piece of shit dictate my entire life if i do he

wins seems like we're going from one piece of shit to another joe i told you

nobody is gonna do anything here And all I've done by coming back is awaken some

sort of fucking curse and people are actually dead now! Dev!

I just know that if you, that if we, don't try to put a stop to this, all

those people will have died in vain.

So what do I do?

I don't know.

You're the one with serial killing in your blood.

I don't need to go to the hospital.

I'm telling you, don't put me in that... Incline!

Are you going to be... Is she going to be okay?

Hey, can I get a second to talk to my niece? We really need to get you going.

You're bleeding pretty bad, ma'am.

I've been bleeding for 30 goddamn years, son. This ain't shit.

No one needs to get hurt.

Devin, there's something I need to tell you just in case I don't make it. Don't

talk like that. Listen!

I've been meaning to tell you for many years.

Then we lost touch and life happened and... What is it?

The woman that raised you isn't your mom, honey.

What do you mean?

I mean... She's your mom. She'll always be your mom.

She wasn't the one that gave birth to you.

She gave birth to me, then.

I think you know the answer to that, sweetie.

Oh, my God.

Rachel Cavanaugh was our sister.

They were going to put you in foster care when she gave birth to you in that

terrible place.

Those children, those three of us.

We were put into the system when your grandfather died.

We all suffered terrible, horrible, unspeakable things.

We couldn't see that happen to you.

So, we talked to the courts.

And Claire Elizabeth Cavanaugh became your mother.

I'm so, so sorry, Devin.

You deserve to know this.

We really need to get going.

I love you so much. Hey,

don't do that.

Or that. Sorry.

I love you too, Debbie.

I love you too. We gotta go. You're not putting me in that thing.

I'm riding in the front with you. I will ride up it. I'm telling you.

Not riding in the front.

I will ride up in the... Do not put me in there!

I'm telling you, I'm... There is nothing wrong with me!

Well, I did do a lot wrong. Do not... No. Do not put me in here. No!

No! Yeah. No!

Debbie!

What do you want to do?

Let's wipe that painted smile off that motherfucker's face.

Hey, Trent.

Look, I can't imagine what you're going through right now.

I'd really hate to ask anything of you.

But we need you.

I need you.

Look, it's late. I've given a half a dozen statements to cops.

I took a bunch of downers. I'm going to sleep.

Trent, he came after my aunt, too.

Can you meet me here tomorrow?

Yeah.

Dad, where's your bathroom?

It's down the hall to the left. Thanks.

Sit down.

You ever seen a chocolate lava cake?

It's about where I'm at.

It's down the hall to the left, Amy.

Thanks.

We're getting nowhere.

I don't even know where this Adley guy is until he's already fucked something

up and killed somebody.

Well, you know, Travis said that he used to stay at the cabin.

Or things went down with Rachel Cavanaugh?

Travis used to hang out there when we was a kid, when we were younger.

We don't even know if that Adley guy's there.

I vaguely know where it's even at.

Does anyone know where it's at?

Easy Steve.

Well shit.

It's not like we can tell him that we're exacting revenge on some sort of lunatic

inbred clown and we need help finding his lair.

For all we know, they're cousins.

Well, what if one of us texted him and said we wanted to party?

You know, get him to show us where the cabin's at.

I guess that's an okay plan.

Who's gonna text him?

Haley?

Buddy?

You want to take one for the team?

Um, team what? What are we doing?

Texting Easy Steve.

We want to say that we want to have a party and get him to show us where the

cabin's at?

You know, where we can find that piece of shit clown and fuck him up?

No. Make Joe do it.

I mean, he's not a waiter at Texas Roadhouse, but I think we could get it

done. No fucking way.

I don't want him to think I'm flirting with him. I don't want him to think I am

either. Guys, calm down.

Let's just draw straws.

Is this the short one? Did I get the short one? Fuck! Jill, calm down.

See? It's the same size.

This

election

is rigged, okay? I want to do over.

This is America, Haley.

We don't rig elections.

Okay. I sent it. What'd you say?

I basically said, Hey man, it's Trent and Travis' sister Haley. Was wondering

if you wanted to throw one of your lit parties at that cabin up in the woods

tonight. It's super secret, so come alone.

9pm, okay?

I'll bring all my friends.

Okay.

How kind of an invite is that?

Oh, Harry texted back. What'd he say?

Uh, good question.

It says, I can't wait to get my duck on with

some nasty benches. And then just a bunch of letters like, RU18.

Fuck off.

Damn, he's quick.

He texted me again.

Meet at the Moon Valley Road train bridge.

I'll take you there.

Where's that at?

It...

Also, can you spot me at 20? Still need some magnums, sis?

Just bring a good gun with him.

He didn't mean that type of protection.

What? So that's it?

We just show up with weapons and blind enthusiasm and hope he's there?

Well, it's like his home turf.

Besides, I don't think he's hitting up any clown conventions anytime soon, so

chances are that's where we'll find him. Really?

You've been holding on to that one for a while?

What are you talking about?

Clown conventions?

Are we doing puns now?

Got a little stand-up routine you want to do for us before we all die in

agonizing pain? There's a lot of trails, from what I remember, that lead up to

it. You just have to follow the tracks for a bit. Okay, good.

See?

That's the play, then.

You know, I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to take this fucking clown

back to the circus.

I did it again, didn't I?

Mm-hmm.

Where the fuck would he be staying?

I thought he'd be camped out here like it was Black Friday.

I told him 9 o'clock, so I guess he technically still has a few minutes.

We'll get them with tetanus.

I brought Aunt Connie's knife block.

That's her favorite set.

I know.

They can literally cut through soda pop cans.

How would you even know that?

Because maybe I cut through a soda pop can once.

What did you bring, Haley? I brought my dad's gun. Oh, what the fuck?

What? Don't be swinging that thing around like it's your dick.

No bullets.

Bring any bullets?

I thought... I thought that it would already be loaded.

The fuck, Haley?

I don't... Why wouldn't it be? I don't fucking know. I've never even held a gun

before. Why would I know that?

Every person in existence for the last 400 years knows that a gun

needs bullets.

Whatever. I don't even know why I thought we could do this. We're not

fucking killers.

I'm not going anywhere until that fuck is in the ground.

Should we just go?

I mean, clearly we are not prepared to handle this situation at all.

Easy, Steve.

What's up?

What's up, man?

Hey, Trent.

Hey, bud.

Sorry to hear about your brother.

Trevor was a good guy.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, Haley. I feel like I haven't seen you in years.

You saw me two days ago at my house.

You practically live on our couch.

You asked me if I could fit my whole fist in my mouth.

What the fuck, man?

Can you?

Not right now.

That sounds like an easy C. Alright, alright.

Speaking of, do you want something to drink?

Got some IPAs?

It's from fire.

Drink those on the way here.

Really? Couldn't tell.

Um, I'm gonna have to pass though.

Alright. So, Steve, you gonna show us where this cabin's at or what?

I don't believe we have been properly introduced.

My name is Jill.

And if you take one more step close, I swear to God I will make a claim first.

Okay. Okay.

Hi Steve, I'm Devin. It's nice to meet you.

You know, I've heard a lot about you.

It's all true.

All right, man. Hey, Steve, can you show us the way?

I love Peter Frampton.

Whatever, man. Cool.

All right. All right. Cool, cool. I'll grab my nine-pack, some Jimmys, and

we'll have this fucking pig.

Did he actually bring a pig?

This is a serious matter.

I feel like we should verify.

Judy Rose!

What did you do to her?

I love you.

Sorry,

man. Fuck you.

You know, you guys are a bunch of assholes.

Steve, where's this cabin?

It's just right over the hill here, Broseph.

Who the fuck is playing the golden oldies?

Hey, everybody get down!

Why the fuck are we whispering?

Bro, that hurt me in the heart.

I'm going to hurt him everywhere else.

I don't like this, okay?

Who is playing that music?

Steve, there's something we didn't tell you.

There's no party.

We're actually out here looking for the clown that killed Liz and Travis.

What the fuck? There's no party?

Shut the...

What is that?

I might have invited a few of my crew, though. They're cool.

Oh, God.

Wow.

Steve is really outdoing himself this time.

Woo! Yeah!

Free drugs and beers!

Woo!

Hey!

Those are my people, man!

Buck, there he is.

He's going right for them.

Who?

Hey, righteous fucking costume, hoss!

Turn it up.

Look at you three. A couple of clans.

I'd have put you all out of your misery right this second.

But I reckon that'd make Aunt Evelyn a little mad at me.

Yeah, I bet she'd shit a brick if I killed these wastes of oxygen.

Who are you?

Well, I'll tell you who I ain't.

A dummy.

My cousins here, they're crazier than shithouse rats.

And killing for them?

Well, it's like breathing for most people.

And I'll do just about anything I ask them to.

Except listen to me when I tell them to let me kill Rachel Cavanaugh's only

fucking kid.

Yeah, that's right. I bet you didn't know your mama was a murdering whore.

It's been such a long time since I thought about you. But your Aunt Connie?

Woo, boy!

She is a talker. When I heard you were coming back into town, couldn't wait to

roll out the red carpet for you.

But if you ask me, it's not red enough.

At least not yet.

Oh, Trent.

You were chubby, baby.

Your mama was chubby. Your dad was chubby.

You know,

Some people have a gold tongue some people even have a silver tongue, but

you know what I have

We're going to go out on the road with this.

Aren't we, Travis?

Yeah. We might even start ourselves an R&B band.

Call ourselves Tongue and Groove.

Hell, we might even be bigger than that Jeff Dunham guy.

Do that bit. Do that bit that we did the other night.

Rose is all red.

Why is it so blue?

All your friends are dead.

And you smell like glue.

No, the line is, you will be too. I can do it any way that I want.

But I'm the one with the gun.

As a matter of fact, why don't you go hang out with your brother for a while?

And you, the woman with all the words, all

the bark and no bite, I ought to kill you first for being such

a girl.

mouth, see you next Tuesday.

But I think I'll let you sit there and watch me kill your friend.

Yeah, the friend that you brought here to die.

This is really all your fault, if you think about it.

What the fuck is wrong with you? What do you want?

Oh, Miss Cavanaugh, don't play dumb with me. You know who your mama was.

You know what she did to my brothers and me.

I lied there for days rooting around in my own filth like a hog.

She killed those boys and in the end tarnished my family name.

All the police, all the investigations coming into our homes and taking our

things as evidence.

And me, a little boy.

discarded into the system like a piece of garbage.

Do you know what that's like, Miss Cavanaugh?

Do you?

Of course you do!

Somebody rescued you!

This one's hiring!

Take me with you! They don't have anything to do with this! So admirable,

Miss Cavanaugh.

I bet your tombstone will read something like, Real Purdy.

Real Heroic.

Real... Fucking dead.

You know, I guess I could let bygones be bygones.

But I just let you do goddamn much!

Straight up cap those motherfuckers!

I'm saying, one way or another, Adlai Harmon's gonna get his pound of flesh.

If you stay here in this county, well, you just might lay down with the devil

himself.

You call me.

Every time you stop, you call. Do you hear me? Yes, Aunt Connie.

I promise. Every time we stop. If you don't, I will fly out to Denver and

kick the living shit out of you.

I know.

Bitch. Tag.

Please don't let anyone make a movie out of this.

Come on, it's my way to cope.

I already have half a script written, and the hero is a woman.

Okay, okay.

I'll come

out and see you.

I'd really like that.

You gonna be okay?

Scout's honor.

Come here.

Thank you. For everything.

You guys wanna go get high and watch Sound of Freedom?

I'm a minor.

And?

Hell yeah.

I can't keep doing this.

Are you truly agnostic if you steal the leaving angels?

Two weeks of rap, they found my side. Gotta make it, make it through the day.

Conceal your secrets out of fear of other labels.

Suppress my inward Edward Hyde. Let him go, help us on the way. Cause I'm sick

of feeling sick.

I try so hard but only seem to fail here. In this mix, the best thing I can

do is say goodbye.

I was last September.

Stop the train. I took off and I surrender.

Did you just fucking slap me?

Sean?

I want my mommy.

Shut up!

That's right!

I found ya!

What the hell are you doing here?

You surprised to see me?

Uh... Yeah, surprise is one way to put it. I hoped you would be. I came all

this way to tell you that I've been thinking about you constantly and that I

love you. I love you!

Who the hell is that, then?

Absolutely nobody. Don't worry about her at all.

How did you even find me?

Well, I was going through your Instagram messages, and some guy under Easy Steve,

and the way you guys were talking seemed like he could be a new lover, perhaps.

Knew he was from the area.

He's the one that brought us back together.

That's great, Sean.

But, you know, we're kind of busy here.

Yeah, I saw that.

You join a gang or something?

A gang?

No.

Okay. Well, I could leave you to it.

But, you know, maybe pop back in town, grab a bite to eat. You know, when in

Rome. But I'll find you later. I'm pretty good at that.

Okay, yeah.

Could I maybe get a hug?

Sure, Sean.

Bring it in.

Is that bear spray? I fucking hate the bear spray!

While surely burning hell for all the things I've done Self-inflicted one way

forward Gotta make it, make it through the day The day of reckoning for 1981

Nice to know you, my last call. Let him go, help us on good way. I'm sick of

feeling sick.

I tried so hard, but only see pale hair in this mix. The best thing I can do is

say goodbye. I am much different than I was last September.

Say goodbye.

Stop the train, I give up, and I surrender.

Carry on.