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Some have meat and cannot eat

And some would eat that want it

But we have meat and we can eat

So let the Lord be thanked!

Dig in, dig in!

What's in this again?

A little bit of this, a little bit of that...

And I will love thee still, my dear

till all the seas gang dry.

Till all the seas gang dry, my dear

and the rocks melt with the sun...

Intimate fellowship or worship...

How many letters?

Nine.

Uh... Communion.

C-O-M-M-U-N-I-O-N. Communion.

Now let's see if I can get through the rest of this.

Night, Lucy.

Good night, Jimmy.

Oh, we're closed.

Excuse me?

We close at nine on weekdays.

Ah.

Hey.

Oh, it's fucking freezing out.

Come here.

For you tonight, madam,

we have a creamy mushroom fettuccine,

which we're pairing with a lovely bottle of red wine

opened just a couple of hours ago

and only half consumed by the chef.

Thank you very much, chef.

How's work?

You know.

How's the new manager?

Mm... A dick.

I'm sorry. - It is what it is.

I just gotta make it to April.

Oh, Brian came in today.

He said we should go visit them next week.

See the new place. Meet the baby.

Where is it again? - Augusta.

Ooh, I do not have that in me this week.

This is incredible.

Mm. Yeah, not bad.

It's Campbell's. They make this new

hen of the woods mushroom cream.

It's really great.

Gotta say, Garry, I really

love what you've done with the place.

It's been a labor of love.

Obviously it's dead around this time of year,

but I imagine there's a local crowd

that still comes in?

Well, the summer's a heck of a lot livelier.

There's no question about that, but oh yeah,

the locals are very faithful.

Lucy!

Hey!

Sorry, I didn't mean to... - No, no. Go on through, hun.

I'll be back a little later. - Okay, yeah.

You said they're loyal?

Very loyal.

Good. - Very.

So there doesn't seem to be a real lull...

Are you drawing me?

I might be.

Your name?

Lucy.

Lucy.

I'm Ilse.

It's yours. What do I owe you, Lucy?

Twelve bucks.

That's a good book, by the way.

Yeah, it's great so far.

Lucy? - Yeah, I'm home.

Thank you, Lucy. We're out a little early tonight.

Have to get to Boston in the morning.

Martin got an appointment to see his specialist, finally.

Oh, that's great. Let me know how it goes.

Okay. Goodnight.

Goodnight.

It's interesting, your job.

You get to observe people so intimately.

Watch them going about their lives every night.

You know, when I was a little girl,

I wanted to be an archeologist.

I did.

I simply couldn't believe that there were people

alive on the earth hundreds, thousands of years ago.

And that they, you know, had homes

and wore rings

and used cups and dolls

and talked to each other like we are now.

I find it comforting.

That we're just kind of...

people, the way people have always been people.

Lucy, would you ever like to pose for me?

For drawings.

A painting, maybe.

I've been stuck, I'm afraid.

And I'd pay you.

I mean, I...

I don't really know how to do that.

Nothing to know.

I'm interested in your natural postures.

In the way people have always been people.

Yeah, I'll give you my number.

You can think about it and call me.

I was thinking twenty-five dollars an hour to start,

if that's agreeable for you.

Think about it.

Hey, Lucy.

Oh, thanks.

I'm so sorry about Slick's.

What do you mean?

Well, Garry's been here with that guy from Portland.

You know, the sale.

What sale?

What the fuck, Garry?

Look, let's just sit.

You're selling the bar.

When were you gonna tell me?

It's just something I'm considering.

He came to me with an offer.

I have to think about it, don't I?

Lucy!

You wanna do something?

Just take your mind off it.

Not really.

Okay.

What are you doing?

It's nothing. Just go back to sleep.

What is it?

Okay, look, I... I had an idea.

Okay?

What if you and I buy the bar from Garry?

I mean, why should some random asshole get it?

If we make an offer now, then at least we can

just buy some time.

Figure everything out.

Look.

I think this is the most we can get from a business loan,

but you have experience, you know,

more than enough to run the place,

they'll know that.

I do.

And...

I don't have a lot, but I've, you know,

I've got some savings, and if we use that,

then I think we can break even in a couple of years.

I mean, we know exactly what comes in.

It's not like anything will change.

And, you know, if we want kids in a couple of years,

then I think this puts us in a really good place.

Garry has to at least consider it.

I mean, he owes you that much.

Hey, hey.

We got this.

Nothing has to change.

Hi. Hello. Come on in. Sorry for the delay.

Yeah, I'm sorry about the mess.

I was going to...

tidy a little before you came and I...

I don't know where the morning went.

I'm usually pretty organized,

but you know, you move into a temporary space,

sort of all at once and any which way

and it kind of...

Oh, well.

Just, yeah, put that wherever you...

Make yourself at home.

Would you like some tea?

Sure. So this is your friend's place?

Yes. My dear, dear friend from school,

she bought the building a little while ago

and she's getting a residency program together,

but it's not quite there yet.

And she got pulled into other work

and she's letting me use the space meantime.

Where do you live normally?

Oh, I was in New York for a while,

and London before that.

Oh.

Excuse me a minute.

Hey, give me a minute.

I'm just getting to somewhere where I can...

Yes, sorry about that.

I hope you don't mind. I went ahead,

the kettle was whistling.

Brilliant. - If you want this?

Brilliant. Thank you.

Ah, here have a seat.

Can I... Do you mind pulling your hair up? I wanna see...

Yeah. Can you turn your head a little bit,

a little, little back to me?

Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I think, we'll...

I think we'll start right there.

If you look at the...

the great Renaissance paintings

the women always have these long,

long necks like swans.

Is that a good thing?

Made them look available, I suppose.

Vulnerable.

I've been researching this fascinating

renaissance artist, Clara Peeters.

She's Flemish, she was very successful in her time.

And she did these gorgeous classical still lifes with

goblets of wine and figs and and cheeses and flowers and...

Very sensual.

It's not my sort of thing, usually, still lifes.

But in many of her works, if you look very closely,

you can see these small self-portraits

hidden away in plain sight.

Like... In a reflection on a vase

or a face tucked into the light

falling on a glass.

She's there.

It's interesting, no?

Very.

It's like she wanted to be seen, I think.

And live on, maybe.

Yeah.

Can you turn your face back to the window, please.

Sorry.

Hello? - Hi, I've got Tom here.

Hi. I'm sorry, I'm on.

Got some good news about your loan.

Hi.

Hi, darling. How are you?

Fine.

Yeah? It's late there, no? Is everything all right?

We just got in. I couldn't find

the WiFi password in the London house.

How's London?

Boring.

Well, are you at least looking forward

to spending some time with grandpa and grandma?

I guess.

What about your London friends?

Have you called Jack and them yet?

Is that your dad? - Yeah.

Can you put him on for a minute, please?

Dad! - I love you, Charlie.

I'll talk to you soon, darling.

Hello? - Hi.

How are you? - Yeah, I'm good. I'm good.

How's London?

Yes. Just made it in.

The weather's a nightmare, we kept getting delayed.

Yeah. I thought you'd call when you got in.

How's work? Are you getting a lot done?

I'm planning on getting a draft to Harvey

by end of the month.

Wow. End of the month. That's great, Hugh.

It's really, it's great.

And how's the...

retreat?

Yeah, it's good. It's good.

It's, you know, I...

You know me,

I'm still kind of getting into the swing of it and...

I'm sure you'll be great.

Thank you.

Have you gotten the paperwork in the mail yet?

No, no, no. Nothing yet.

The solicitor said he overnighted it days ago.

I gave him the Maine address.

Oh, well. It'll get here. Yeah.

We're not...

We're not in a rush, are we?

Listen, it's late over here. I need to go.

Yeah, of course, of course.

Yes, of course, of course.

Will you, will you kiss Charlie for me?

Bye, Ilse.

Those are just studies.

Thank you.

What do you do when you're at home?

I noticed you had last night off. What did you do?

Not much, I guess.

I fell asleep on the couch, actually.

Can you show me?

Like... Like this.

That's good.

You were tired, then.

I guess.

Why?

My boyfriend's, well, we are

trying to buy the bar.

You want it to happen? You'd like to run the business?

Yeah, I think so.

We made an offer, so we're giving it a shot.

You plan on staying for a while then, huh?

The bar was my dad's.

Garry had the money, but my dad built most of it.

The wooden bar. He built that.

That's why you stay.

This is Rimbaud.

She's beautiful.

Sometimes I think she reads my mind.

Garry?

Are you avoiding me?

I got a lot to think about.

Look, I gotta go.

Lindsay's up from Boston with the baby

and we're going to dinner.

It's not personal.

I gotta put them first.

I got grandkids now.

To cede control or possession.

It's five letters.

I don't know.

Hey, hey.

Jimmy.

Hey, Tom. How are you doing?

Same crossword?

No, come on. I'm not that bad.

Has Garry come in yet?

Nope.

There you go. - Thanks.

Good evening. - Heya.

Oh, excellent.

Thank you, Lucy. Just what I need.

All right. I'm gonna head home, babe.

Oh, you must be the famous Tom.

In the flesh. Yeah.

And sorry, you are?

Ilse.

Pleasure.

Pleasure.

I am so looking forward to joining you for dinner.

Lucy says you're quite the chef.

Does she, now?

How about this weekend?

Yeah, totally, yeah. That works for us, huh?

Yeah, of course.

Text me when Garry comes in. - Mm-hm.

First circle of hell, according to Dante.

Limbo.

So, who is she? - She's this artist.

She's doing a retreat thing. Came here to paint.

Huh.

She just seems kind of lonely.

She keeps coming to the bar. I don't know.

I invited her to dinner.

Yeah, that's very nice of you.

Were you gonna ask me?

It just came out. I can't uninvite her now.

I've actually posed for her a couple times.

Sorry, what?

Just for drawings. She needed a model!

Since when are you a model?

I'm not.

Sorry. Why would you not tell me about that?

I was gonna tell you.

I don't know. I guess I thought maybe

you just wouldn't get it.

Well, she's paying you right?

Kind of a lot actually.

Well then fuck yeah, I get it.

Good hustle, babe. Good hustle.

You know, I actually took a couple

of art history classes in college.

Oh, you haven't mentioned that.

It was a while ago.

You didn't wanna pursue it?

Oh no, I didn't finish school.

I dropped out when my dad got sick.

Well, when I went to art school,

and that was centuries ago,

we had to learn very traditional technique,

perspective, light and dark.

Still lifes, the figure. Ugh. I hated it.

Really?

Absolutely. It was so boring, stiff, antiquated.

I wanted my work to feel raw, new.

I didn't wanna learn how to shade correctly.

But lately I've been drawn to

tradition in that way.

Take the human figure, for example.

How many paintings have been done

of the ordinary human figure?

A lot. - Yeah. A lot.

But we're drawn to it for a reason. Right?

We, we wanna get it right.

What it feels like to be a human, a person,

in a body, in the world.

We keep hoping for it to reveal something to us.

Sometimes it does.

Sometimes it does. Yes.

I'd...

I'd like to try something, Lucy.

Can I ask you to...

to move around the room.

I want to find a... I want to find a longer pose.

Okay.

Just...

Just keep moving.

Tell me about your day. - My day?

But, yes, but keep moving.

Okay. It's nothing to write home about, I guess.

I woke up around eight.

I made a cup of coffee and toast.

I like toast in the mornings.

Do you eat with your boyfriend?

No. He was asleep. He likes to sleep in.

I read the paper, did the crossword.

I like to do it in the mornings,

but I pretend I don't know the answers yet

if Jimmy asks.

Then what did you do?

I went for a walk.

Where'd you go?

Just down to this little hidden lake spot

a couple miles out.

It's beautiful.

Especially this time of year.

When I was a kid,

my dad used to take me ice skating.

I haven't done that in years,

but I still like it there.

You stand by that lake and it's just you and the trees

and this cold, white light over everything.

You feel like the only person alive.

- What'd you do there? - Oh, not much, really.

I just...

wanted to see if it was frozen.

Stay right there.

Lucy, how would you feel about

doing this one nude?

Oh. Completely nude?

Well, only if you're comfortable. No pressure.

Okay.

Here, you can...

You can change...

Change in the back.

Oh.

Please remember the pose.

I think your left hand's a little further forward.

There you go.

And your...

Tilt your head a little to the left.

Eyes to me.

That's perfect.

I'm gonna set a timer. Can you hold...

Is that comfortable? Can you hold that for twenty minutes?

I think so.

How was it?

Good. What's in this?

Hummus. - Oh, perfect.

Here.

We started a painting today.

That's cool. What kind of painting?

It's just me in a chair, really.

She was telling me about this show she did in London.

I think she's kind of a big deal.

I mean, I've never seen a painter at work before.

Like, I thought she'd know exactly

what she wants.

But most of the time I show up

and it's like, she has no idea.

And she's just searching for something

and she's making marks until she finds it.

And sometimes, like today...

I can tell she's found something.

This is really good.

Yeah. I roasted the garlic.

Did you go to work today?

I called in sick.

Are you sick?

No.

My leg's falling asleep.

We'll take a break in one minute.

Let's take a break now.

Can I look?

Yeah.

What do you think?

I think...

It feels like I'm far away.

Far away.

Not physically, exactly.

Like...

My gaze is crossing through something to get to you.

I like it very much.

The light.

I think we have one more session on it.

I think it's close, yes?

Very close.

Yeah. I think we have an hour of light left.

Cheers. And cheers...

Cheers to your new business. How exciting.

Well, it's not official yet, but yeah, yeah.

We're pumped.

From what Lucy says, it's just really a family business.

Right? So just some logistics to iron out.

Should be, yeah.

We're trying not to get too excited yet.

Cautiously optimistic. Very prudent.

What do you do, Tom?

I work in a restaurant. - Oh, which one?

Pancakes. Pancakes. Pancakes.

But just in the off season,

I mean, in the summer I work at this...

this really nice white tablecloth place near Bath.

And we're always booked like a month out.

But it's closed until April, so...

Pancakes.

Maybe I'll come check it out sometime.

Yeah, I wouldn't.

Don't worry, he's not making us pancakes tonight.

That's right. I should check on the food, actually.

I'll be right back.

He really is a great cook.

I haven't had a home cooked dinner like this in years.

Years?

Well, when you're a terrible cook

you quickly learn

that you'll be happier eating out instead.

Well...

Bon appetit.

Bon appetit.

So...

Lucy tells me you're a really talented artist.

Well, I'm taking my work in a new direction

and it all feels very unfamiliar at this stage, I must say.

Huh.

But that's why I'm here, really.

I'm afraid things had gotten quite stale

in the last few years.

Of course the galleries were loving it,

but that's not really an indicator, is it?

Right.

Yeah.

I had lost interest in my practice.

I had begun to feel that my work was too...

Intellectual.

Pretentious, if I'm being honest.

Predictable.

A voice in my head started to say, Ilse, is this really

what you want to say, what you want to contribute?

Or are you just producing what you know will sell?

So I am exploring again.

Ah.

Is that what it's about for you?

Contribution, I mean.

It's part of it.

I mean, I think when you get to my age,

you start being aware of the mark that your life

is leaving.

I don't know if I mentioned, Lucy.

I have a new show opening in New York in March.

You do?

Mm-hm.

I'd love to invite you both.

To the opening?

Well... - In New York?

They're usually pretty boring affairs I'm afraid.

But I would be pleased to share this new work.

Wow. Yeah.

Well, I mean we'll see if we can...

But yeah.

We'll swing it if we can.

I'm actually hoping to include a new painting

of Lucy in the show.

If it turns out as I imagine.

I'm cautiously optimistic.

I'll have my gallerist send you both an invitation.

Thank you again for having me tonight. It was...

Thank you so much for coming.

You didn't have to see me out.

I wanted to.

So you'll come?

To New York?

Oh, yes. Yeah.

You could stay with me

for a little while.

If you wanted.

I'll need a good model.

And you are an excellent model.

I think you're a little drunk.

I mean it.

Night, Lucy.

I'm being considered for an award.

They just announced the shortlist.

So, you're leaving.

Oh, well...

It makes more sense to be in New York right now.

I'm having lunch with my gallerist tomorrow.

And it's...

It's all honestly kind of overwhelming.

I'm thrilled, of course.

We didn't finish the painting.

Oh.

I think we did.

I...

You were right about the gaze.

That... That it's...

it's like you're looking through something,

that...

it's like you're in another sphere.

It's because, I realized,

I am looking at you and I am muddied

by my expectations of my work and of myself.

And I intellectualize everything.

And I...

I'm not explaining this very well.

It...

When you posed, it was so simple,

yes?

It was...

I can, I can't...

I can't...

call a thing, a thing.

I can't...

I can't feel that it is enough.

But when you posed, it was so simple.

All I had to do was translate.

I really need to find another way to articulate this.

No, no. I understand.

I'm sorry, Lucy.

Their offer was... I had to take it.

He promised me you could keep your job, if you want it.

After they renovate and what not.

I hope in time you'll see this as an opportunity.

You don't want to be working at a bar your whole life,

do you?

That's what dad did.

That's what you did.

I'm proud of my days here, but...

I know your father was too.

This is a small portion of the sale.

Now, I know it's not much, but it's a start.

You could finish up school, if you want.

I'm not your old man, I can't tell you what to do,

but I want you to have options.

I can't take this.

It's only right. Rob...

Rob was so proud of you, sweetheart.

He wanted you to be more than he ever could be.

You understand?

He wanted to do all he ever could do for you.

You've gotta see this one.

I'm telling you.

It's a must. You gotta go.

Welcome.

Can I take your coat?

Have you guys seen this piece yet?

White or red?

Oh, that one's cool.

Is that the...

Oh.

Tell me more about that one.

That one is the absence. Paired down.

Hugh.

This is Lucy and this is Tom.

Oh, how do you do?

This is my gallerist Geoffrey

and this is our dear friend Simone

and our son Charlie. Charlie?

Hi everybody. I'm so delighted to meet you guys.

This is awesome.

Fun age, isn't it?

The show is really good.

Truly phenomenal work, Ilse.

Oh, Geoff. I hope so.

Are you an artist as well, Lucy?

Lucy's actually buying this little bar in Maine.

Oh! Geoff and I were in Bar Harbor

just last weekend.

Oh, Simone.

Have you been to the new show at the Gagosian?

Excuse me.

... Right?

Oh, it's just imbecilic.

You forgot this.

Are we gonna talk about it?

Did you...

Are you in love with her?

No.

Okay. Then why?

I'm sorry.

For what?

For doing it or for not telling me?

Both.

Fuck.

Do you know how this makes me feel, Lucy?

I feel like a fucking idiot.

Like, you let me wear this stupid fucking tie.

Talk to those people and embarrass myself.

Do you know that I quit my job?

Yeah. I quit my job.

When?

Weeks ago. A month. More.

I was scared to tell you, so I kept putting it off

and then you just didn't notice.

Kind of turned into a game in my head.

Like, how long is it gonna take her to notice?

Just...

I'm going back to school.

Culinary school.

I'm really proud of you, Tom.

Fuck you.

You don't even want to be with me, do you?

Of course I do. I love you.

Of course you love me.

You love me like you love the house

or the bar.

Because I'm just...

I'm just there.

It's easier for you to stay than to do anything else.

Isn't that right?

What do you want?

Huh? Just tell me one fucking thing that you actually want.

♪ What is it you're feeling? ♪

♪ Can you put it in a painting? ♪

♪ There's no saturation. ♪

♪ It's just the same old thing. ♪

♪ Stop talking in rings. ♪

♪ You came here to say what you think. ♪

♪ I've got a real life now. ♪

♪ And I intend to shut you out. ♪

♪ I've got a real life now. ♪

♪ Watch me turn the clocks around. ♪

♪ Oh it's with my name too... ♪

♪ I walk that path, ♪ I walk it like you. ♪

♪ Find two knees pressed against one another ♪

♪ it's the shape of my need ♪

♪ in the shape of another. ♪

♪ And I swoop down in circles to find ♪

♪ the baby in my arms but it wasn't mine. ♪

♪ Cause I've got a real life now. ♪

♪ And I intend to shut you out. ♪

♪ I've got a real life now. ♪

♪ Watch me burn the candles out. ♪

♪ Watch me leave the table cold ♪

♪ leaving with my hat and coat. ♪

♪ Stop to do one final dish ♪

♪ and leave before it's finished. ♪

♪ I've got a real life now. ♪