Original subtitles

Aunt Ada: A wedding,

a special day where dreams come true,

a celebration of love and commitment...

in the company of family...

and dear friends.

Unless...

a deadly crime...

turns it into something much... more...

nightmarish...

Bingo did it.

- I'm so sorry! - What the fuck!

- What the fuck! - You were having a nightmare,

- and you were shouting. - Oh, my God.

- I didn't wanna wake you. - Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

It was so horrible.

Let me guess-- about bunnies?

Yeah.

What time is it?

Just gone half 6:00.

Oh, my God, have you slept?

Not really. I had to treat it like a book.

And I've also always secretly wanted to do a murder wall.

I mean, it's colour coordinated?

Well, obviously.

Oh, and also, your, erm...

your phone keeps ringing.

Well, it can wait.

Because we have a job to do.

Come on.

So... when were you gonna tell us

that you withheld evidence from the scene of a crime?

- Um... - I mean, I guess now.

And we just wanna outline why Bingo isn't the murderer and--

And I don't like it when people tell me how to do my job.

Okay, but the bunny costume in the photo--

it has all its buttons on it.

Which means that there were two rabbits,

and therefore, Bingo is being framed.

Well, that photo, which you shouldn't have,

is blurry at best.

And we checked Bingo's costume. There is a button missing.

Still, it's probably worth looking into.

- Or-- Or not. - Yeah, but I was being followed last night

because I guess we were on to them.

And did they threaten you or...?

I don't know, he just disappeared.

I threw some Tic Tacs at him. And...

What other evidence do you have that proves that Bingo did it?

Well, this isn't an open Q and A,

but since you think I'm clearly incompetent,

there was a lover's code that only Bingo and Tatiana knew.

Now, that code was used to set up a meeting

in the cloak room at midnight.

Then Bingo used Tatiana's phone to divert the meeting,

giving himself a flimsy alibi.

Tatiana didn't have her phone in the toilet.

Exactly. Because he did.

So, Bingo had Tatiana's phone on him when--

- when you arrested him? - No.

But then murderers don't usually keep evidence on them.

You learn that at detective school.

Look, Bingo had the means,

the motive, and not forgetting the fact

that the victim told you to your face

Bingo did it.

But that doesn't mean it was definitely him.

Well, we will look into it.

All of it.

But if you decide to keep playing cops and robbers,

I will make your little game a reality

and arrest you for wasting police time.

Do I make myself clear?

- Yeah. - Good. Show them out, Draper.

Thanks for this.

Um, by the way, I hope you don't mind me saying,

but I'm a huge fan of your books.

- I love Di Dashford. - Oh, yeah. Wow. Thank you.

I mean, loads of your so-called fans,

they've all dropped off because it's been so long

since your last book.

But us diehards, we... we know you can do it.

- That was a disaster. - Yeah.

We need help.

I know the perfect person.

Bye.

Oh, my God, you did not tell me

that your aunt was at Sunny Ridge.

This is like heaven for theatrical has-beens.

Oi, less of the has-beens.

- Sorry. - Aunt Ada. This is...

Tuppence Cowley,

precocious younger sister, daughter of a vicar,

hence the need to rebel, and a Bundeba--

whatever that means.

Ooh. How did you know?

- It's her party trick. - Er, hello.

You have social media.

Now, why do you both look

like you've hit an investigative dead end?

So basically, that's everything.

And we're a bit lost.

I see.

Ah! Fresh meat.

The regulars get all excited,

figure out if she's worth fighting over for Bridge.

Pathetic.

Well, darlings, it's like my mother used to say,

you can't pickle a pig and darn your stockings at the same time.

You can't do two things at once.

What is your most direct route to freeing your friend?

Finding the other bunny.

Because if we find the other costume,

then the police have to listen to us.

Exactly. I knew you'd get there.

Just didn't think it would take quite so long.

But where do we even start to look for it?

Come on, lovelies.

It's like when you lose anything as a child.

Where did you last see it?

Okay, I remember there was a dumpster by the staff entrance,

so let's just start there.

Oh, hello! Yoo-hoo!

The wedding tours start this way, please.

Yes. We're really excited.

Just follow my lead.

Okay.

Seems you're our only couple.

I wonder why.

So, as you can see,

you can decorate the venue to suit your own personal taste.

Can I just say, you make a lovely couple.

- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

How long have you been together?

Oh, um, we, um, met at university.

First love. Oh, powerful.

Come.

Flamingos. The lovers' code.

- Don't you see? - No.

The police said that Bingo had Tatiana's phone

and sent himself a flimsy alibi, right?

- Okay. - Right, but I was with him when he got that text,

which was a flamingo emoji, like, multiple times.

Which must have meant meet at the flamingos at midnight.

But he can't have sent himself that text.

It was someone else making sure he was out of the way during the murder.

- Further proof he was being framed. - Yes.

Are we saying yes then?

- Absolutely. - Oh! Great.

My fiancé is gonna deal with the paperwork.

Great. Very good. If you just...

- Sure. - ...sit there.

Well, I hope you're okay with a December wedding.

Uh, well, I've already had a summer one, so why not?

Um, no bunny outfit, by the way.

The police probably already combed the place.

Mm.

Maybe this is a waste of time.

Er, excuse me.

Shit.

Are you health and safety?

You better believe it.

I-It's not my fault.

The venue can't take that much rubbish.

And you know these parties--

no one eats any of the food, so...

So you take the rubbish round here?

Well, yeah. Sorry. It won't happen again.

No, it won't. Now scram.

Before we report you for Section 27.

An order against dogs in the workplace?

- Mm-hmm. - She's not even bluffing.

Do we look like we work for the council?

Well, you do.

Come on in. The rubbish is warm.

Maybe you're right. Maybe we should just leave this.

I mean...

Wait. What's that?

Come here.

Oh!

Holy smokes.

The other bunny costume.

And proof that Bingo was framed.

- You're welcome. - Oh, my God.

Uh, I mean, okay, yeah.

I will, um, file this, and I will get on it.

DI Merriot!

Hello.

Marco?

Oh, Marco from Uber.

Hi. Yeah, um, I think I left my bag in your car the other night.

Yeah, I was, um, I was dressed as the Cheshire Cat.

Are you sure?

Okay.

Lina didn't get the Uber.

She doesn't have an alibi.

Wait, am I being Andrei again? cos I have some thoughts about my character.

Gone? Where have they gone?

They have been disposed of.

No, no, no! They're my wife's possessions.

Find them for me. Give them back, for God's sake.

Seb.

That's not what this is really about, is it?

Why don't you just come with me?

Have a little chat in the office?

You can stop hiding behind the plant now.

Sorry. It's just, um...

I don't care.

All of that over his wife's stapler?

Totally weird.

But then again, you would be super messed up

if you found out your wife was slyly shagging your mate.

I mean,

let's not slut shame the dead.

Oh.

Could we see Lina Weaver, please?

Well, she hasn't shown up for work.

Pulled a sickie, which, thank God,

cos she was the one that got rid of his wife's stuff.

Oh, okay. Um, yeah.

Do you know what? That, um, is actually...

That's actually a real shame,

because we really needed to tell her something.

Yeah.

Um, and it would be really great if there was somebody

that could just give us her address.

Oh.

Oh, my God, I really love your nails.

Ah. Look at that colour.

I run my own side hustle.

But maybe we could help each other out.

I can't believe this is it.

We're actually about to apprehend the killer.

Okay, let's really think about our game plan.

Stop! Murderer!

Or that.

Lina, why did you lie about getting into that Uber?

Hey!

Listen, we could do this all day.

Fine.

I got out of the Uber at the last minute

so I could talk to him-- Simon-- about the situation.

The situation of you being Tatiana's troll.

He was furious, told me to leave,

so I wandered around for a bit,

which is a crap alibi, so I lied.

And now you're doing a runner?

No. I can't stay here. It's not safe.

- They're watching me. - What do you mean?

Er, Simon told me to get rid of Tatiana's work things, so I did.

But I-I maybe found something that I shouldn't have.

Such as...

I found this password.

I thought it was Tatiana's client database.

She's so stingy, she never shares her contacts.

So I used it on her work computer.

- And... - And what?

It all made sense suddenly.

I mean, I thought she was Simon's favourite

because she flirted with him, but it was so much more.

They were in it together.

In what?

Where's her laptop now?

I got rid of it all like Simon told me to, but I-I-I...

He must have seen what I was doing or found out somehow.

And he's sent some guy after me

and following me around on a motorbike,

which is why I have to get out right now.

- Because it's not safe. - You can't, you can't.

You have to tell the police about this.

Yeah. I mean, think about Tatiana.

You owe her.

I've

always loved "Alice in Wonderland",

but I forgot it's not a nice story.

It is a fucking nightmare.

Just be careful, or you'll end up like her.

Okay.

Do you think Simon could be our killer?

If he's Lina's alibi, she is his.

- Then he can't have done it. - Yeah, but it doesn't mean he didn't plan it.

I mean, what do we think the password reveals, anyway?

As far as I could Google,

he's just your usual property mogul with dodgy morals,

a penchant for fraudulent charity, and an OBE

It must have been highly illegal

to make Lina scared like that.

Yeah. That's true.

Come on, let's get looking.

She must have left the password here somewhere.

- Okay. - Okay.

Let's have a look.

You just, like, checking to see if she has one of her books?

- No. - Yes, you are.

No, I am absolutely not doing that.

Look at you.

She's got your favourite book.

"Middlemarch".

Oh.

Yep. I always lied about reading that at Uni.

I know you did. Drove me up the wall.

The lecturers loved you, but you did none of the work.

It's because I was too busy, you know, partying,

being cool, like you're supposed to.

- Loser. - Hey, I was cool...

- Were you? - ...ish.

I mean, you thought you were cool.

Excuse me. You can't talk. You had monogrammed stationery.

How did we ever get together?

Such a car crash.

Terrible idea.

Er... Tommy.

Hmm?

Oh, my God.

Where's one of those hackers from a kid's film

when you need one?

Without Tatiana's work laptop, we're stuck.

And the police don't even have her phone.

- What? - Tatiana's phone. I'm an idiot.

Sh-- She-- She ca-- She called her phone from--

from my phone when we were in the toilet.

Like, I-I have her number.

What are you doing?

The murderer would have thrown it away.

You heard what Merriot said.

Can't hurt to try.

Voicemail.

"I know what you did."

Tuppence, what-- Are you sure about this?

- Just think, please. - Tommy, there's a grey tick.

That's another tick. They kept it on.

They still have it.

Answer it, can you...

- Answer the bloody thing. - No. I don't want to.

- Go on, go on. - What do I...?

- Just pick it up. - Okay.

Ju--

Hello?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no. I haven't forgotten.

No, no, no, of course I haven't forgotten.

I'm almost there. I'm almost there.

Where are you going? We're still on the case.

And you just texted a murderer. Tuppence!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Aunty, you're 13.8 minutes late.

I'm sorry, Liberty.

Mum is going to be really cross with you.

I am aware, Verity, I am aware.

Let's just...

get you home before mum has MI6 take me out.

Right. Let's run.

Okay. Left. Turn here.

Go on.

Just stay there one sec.

Off you go.

I was only a few minutes late.

- Don't even. - Hey, is that Tupp?

- I've made dinner. - Oh, hey, Charlie!

- Well, shall we go and eat, then, or-- - Dinner can wait.

Right.

What is going on here, Tuppence?

I don't understand why you're still staying in my house.

That's a bit harsh.

I j-- I just need a little bit more time to think.

What's with all the flowers?

They're from your husband.

Do you remember him?

Tuppence, what is the plan here?

Are you going back to LA or are you breaking up?

Constance, first of all, back off.

I'm not the government.

I don't need you to make me a plan.

Then stop running away!

And start acting like you've got one.

Because it's not fair on me.

And it's certainly not fair on Julius.

So make a decision, and make it soon,

or I'll tell Mum and Dad.

That is a low blow.

I'm being serious.

Now come on, let's go and eat.

No, I've actually lost my appetite. Thanks.

Oh, come on, don't sulk like a kid.

I'm not sulking.

Oi, you two are meant to be asleep.

It's important to be up to date with current affairs.

Okay, yeah, sometimes you guys freak me out.

...super difficult time, which is why I'm writing a book

about my experience as Alice in a not-so wonderland.

It was supposed to be my night.

I mean, I planned the whole thing.

I love all things "Alice in Wonderland",

and my book will be similar to Lewis Carroll's.

Where'd you go?

I'm sending you something now, okay? Watch it.

I love all things "Alice in Wonderland",

and my book will be similar to Lewis Carroll's.

A lonely girl caught up in the madness of a murder trial.

Are you seeing this?

Like it's that easy to write a book.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look,

I know you said it couldn't be Alice

because the murder ruined her big moment, right?

But what if instead, it gives her her moment?

I mean, like she said, she planned the whole thing.

I know Simon is our number one suspect, but...

Wait. I have an idea.

Okay, Cowley, I'm all yours.

Okay, um, I will text you in the morning where to meet.

Okay. Night, Tommy.

Bye, Tuppence.

We thought your husband...

Was called Julius.

Writer's block's finally gone, then?

Just an idea.

I think Detective Dashford needs a partner.

- Ooh. - Like, a work partner.

Another detective.

And what about your partner?

Tuppence.

So wait, if she's married to this rich bloke,

what's she doing here, then?

I don't know, Albert.

Why don't you ask her out?

That's clearly vibes.

Mm.

I need to get back to work.

Have you ever heard of a little-known concept

called YOLO?

- Yeah, shall we... - Swap.

Yeah.

- So... - So...

Right, turns out Alice shared every single minute detail

of the wedding journey,

including where she was getting her and Bingo's outfits.

- Wow. - Yeah.

I bet you enjoyed that doom scroll down the rabbit hole.

Needs must. Come on.

I think we're in the right place.

Sorry.

How can I help?

Did you rent two of these bunny costumes recently

to this person?

We do make customers sign a deposit waiver,

so technically, there should be a record.

You wouldn't believe the indecent things

some people get up to in these costumes.

But I'm afraid I can't disclose customer information.

If that's everything?

Oh, my God.

Is that the costume worn by Blanche DuBois

in that seminal production of "Streetcar"

that was in the car park?

It is.

It's a personal favourite of mine.

Display only, of course.

Wow. That is amazing.

Sales Assistant: Not many people know this, but...

I mean, you-- you can completely tell.

I never want to hear about stitch patterns ever again.

- Did you get it? - Thanks to you.

You hate hurting books, though.

I know, but it was worth it. Look.

- Okay. - Right.

Alice signed her name here. One bunny costume.

But more importantly, there's another one further down.

- Carroll Lewis. - As in...

- Lewis Carroll. - The author of "Alice in Wonderland".

She was using an alias.

But how do we prove that?

Because even if Alice was wearing a disguise

when she got the second bunny costume,

- right? - Yeah.

Look here. She signed as Alice.

- Yeah. - She signed as Lewis.

- Yeah. - Notice anything?

- The hearts. - She dots her I's with hearts.

It's her trademark. She didn't even think to change it.

We've got her.

They got here quick.

No. No, but it wasn't even...

It wasn't even me. I didn't even do it.

Shut up and don't say anything.

I'll see you down at the station in a bit, okay?

Right. Come on.

I'm not done with you two.

Still don't trust him.

Likewise.

Thank you.

That tip off about the extra costume was just what we needed.

- What else did you find on her? - Her book.

She'd already written half of it before the crime even took place.

Half of it? That's loads.

I mean, uh, uh, Bingo can... he can come home now, right?

Yeah, and we can get justice for Tatiana.

Hopefully.

Um, I also found this in Alice's bedroom.

Where'd she get that?

Yeah, that would be my fault.

That must have fallen out of my pocket

when I was throwing shoes at the dog.

I didn't hurt the dog, guys.

I just thought maybe that's why

someone followed you the other night.

Has your address on it.

- Sorry. - Yeah.

Rookie mistake.

Bye.

That's it.

It's over.

You did it, Tuppence.

No, we did it.

So what now?

I think I have to go home.

- To LA? - Yeah.

Julius booked me a flight, erm, for tonight.

I was gonna tell you, and I just didn't know...

Erm, well, you should probably get going then.

We should grab your stuff from my flat.

I'll be quick.

- Albert! - Oh, my gosh.

Are you okay?

I'm so sorry, Tommy.

What happened?

I heard a noise upstairs,

so I came to see what was going on.

The place was completely ransacked.

And then somebody in a motorbike helmet pushed me out of the way.

I KO'd and they legged it.

- I'm such an idiot. - No, you're not.

I'm so, so sorry that this has happened.

It's not your fault.

You know, the weird thing is,

nothing seems to have been taken.

So what did they want?

Oh, and Tommy, I'm so sorry.

They've ruined your book wall.

Nothing's really broken.

It's just messy.

We got Alice. We just didn't... We didn't get Motorbike Man.

What do you think he was looking for in here?

Password. Lina said he was following her.

Perhaps he saw us in her flat.

Saw me leaving this morning.

Shit. He has it.

Safe keeping.

Genius.

Okay, so if he was looking for the password,

then this is about Simon and Tatiana's secret business.

Cos that's what the password unlocked, right?

Yeah. So Motorbike Man is him.

Yeah. Yeah.- It's Simon.

And he-- he-- he did plan this.

He just used his...

He just used his daughter to actually do it.

Partners in crime.

- What are you doing? - If Simon's the murderer,

- then he has Tatiana's phone. - You're not texting him now.

- Stop. Stop! - This will lead us straight to him.

Then we can track him down and we can--

Are you mad?

He nearly killed Albert because of us.

Because of you, actually.

What? Albert's downstairs. He's fine.

If you had just listened to me and put the business cards

back in the first place, they wouldn't have come here.

I didn't know that this was going to happen.

Yeah. And you were texting him yesterday.

You were goading him. No wonder they wrecked the place.

- You wanted to crack the case as well. - Yeah, of course I do.

But you always do this. You rush into things without thinking.

- You don't listen. - You are not better than me

because you play it safe, Tommy!

Fuck! Fuck!

Yeah. I'm gonna call the police.

And, um...

Yeah, you should go and catch your flight.

Yeah. You're right.

There's nothing keeping me here, is there?

Police, please.

Tuppence?

Oh, Tuppence.

Please tell me you're not going after Simon alone.

Well, you better catch up, then.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck.

Here, darling, have this.

If you take the helmet off, I'll give you what you want...

Seb.

Tuppence.

It is you.

- What? - It's you.

What do you mean?

You're the killer.

No, no, no, no, no, no, okay, you've got this all wrong.

- Okay? - No.

No, you're the one that was following us.

- Yeah. - You followed Lina. You attacked Albert.

Yes, because I had to warn you off, okay?

You need to give me the password,

and you need to get ou-- We both need to get out of here, okay?

I would never touch Tatiana, okay?

I loved Tatiana. All right?

Alice did this, and now her father is going to get away

with everything he stole. - Don't come any closer.

Okay.

So you found out about the affair,

and you told Alice about it.

Okay, you are so wrong here. Please just listen--

I said don't move.

You convinced Alice to have a themed wedding.

Perfect for wearing a disguise, right?

You made sure that she bought the second costume.

I mean, the cake cutting moment

meant there was a ready-made murder weapon at easy Reach.

You and Alice, you both took your partner's phones,

and you-- you used their own hookup codes against them.

Oh, my God, you are so way out of your depth here.

- Please just-- - No,

when everyone else was watching the fireworks

you put on the second bunny costume.

You took the knife from the cake.

You walked to the cloakroom

where Tatiana was waiting for Bingo.

Do you know what's especially cruel about it?

You made her think

that the man that she really loved had turned on her.

And then I'm guessing you--

you texted Bingo from Tatiana's phone

saying "Change of plan.

Meet in the cloakroom now,"

drawing him towards the murder scene.

This is absolute nonsense.

You had to take off the costume, didn't you?

That was when you realised

that Tatiana had grabbed the button off.

But you didn't have time to go back and get it, right,

because you had to leave the costume in the Dumpster

that Alice could get rid of.

But she wasn't able to because it had been moved.

So then when-- when Bingo was being arrested, you knew,

you knew you had to find a way to grab that button

off the bunny costume.

And so you played the devastated husband.

What the fuck did you do, huh? Huh?

And you're still doing it now, right?

Okay. Please, just listen to me.

Please just listen. Listen to me.

You listen to me, okay?

You killed Tatiana, the woman who no longer loved you.

And you framed the man that you hated.

Her lover, Bingo.

And Alice, I mean, Alice got rid of her competition.

Her cheating husband. She gained a book deal.

The two of you did it together.

You're two sad, desperate, jealous--

And then there was you, isn't there?

Meddling, meddling, meddling.

And you know what? It was wonderful.

It was wonderful.

"Bingo did it," she said. "Bingo did it."

It was a hole in one.

But you weren't satisfied, no.

Sadly, idiot that I am,

I wasn't scared of two randomers playing "Cluedo."

Oh, you underestimated us, didn't you?

Did I?

I'm not the one in an abandoned building site

with a murderer, detective.

Oh, but wait here for the police.

Oh, bollocks.

I hate you, Cowley.

Looks like the game's up for you.

Is it?

Because this is my get out of jail free card.

And the real reason I killed Tatiana.

Her business with Simon?

Have you got any idea

how it feels to be eclipsed at every single turn by your wife?

To watch her keep secret after secret after secret

to pocket thousands with her pseudo daddy figure

whilst you struggle to keep your business afloat?

Do you? Do you know how that feels?

Well, Simon's not going to touch me when I have this

because on here somewhere.

are all his contacts, all Tatiana's contacts,

all their sordid little dirty secrets,

all of their pick-ups and drop-offs.

And it's worth a lot of money,

a lot of protection.

That's what the password unlocks.

You need to give it to me

before you fall and break your neck.

You fucking bitch!

Tuppence!

Okay?

What's he doing, Tommy? Should we--

- No, no, don't. Don't! No! - No!

- Hi. - Come on. Give them here, love.

I thought you were only staying a couple of weeks.

I am, it's just a few bits.

No, it isn't. Madam's got a lot of baggage.

In every sense of the word.

Oi!

Have you seen this?

No. It's very analog of you.

Wow.

"Businessman Simon Dalvi revealed

as drug-smuggling kingpin."

That's what Lina's snooping revealed.

- The real business. - Yeah.

Just Tatiana had a lot of secrets.

No one's perfect, I suppose.

Um, and actually, on that note,

I wanted to say sorry for...

running off like that the other night.

I was, um, I don't know...

- Being Tuppence? - Yeah.

What about, um, your husband?

Uh, yeah, I spoke to Julius,

and I told him that I needed more time to think.

So if he wants to speak, he can come to me.

Drink?

Always.

To being flatmates.

And business partners.

Business partners?

Well, thanks to the money that Bingo gave us,

I might have invested in a little something.

To Blunt's Brilliant Detectives.

No, wait, what have you done?

Aunt Ada: And so, my darlings,

it seems our obsession with crime prevails.

And everyone caught up in it cannot help

but be irrevocably changed.

For better...

...or worse.

Because, after all,

our world isn't simply a dream or a nightmare.

It's just life.

Complicated...

Wow.

Aunt Ada: ...blunt, and brilliant.

Just like our two detectives.

Now, if only I didn't go and get murdered,

I could have joined in the fun.

To be continued, of course.

This is Blunt's, isn't it?

Do be careful.

You might be about to meet a murderer.

If it isn't Hampstead's answer to "Hot Fuzz."

We're not at university anymore.

- We're adults. - I know we're adults.

My husband wants a divorce, Tommy.

This is some great tea, by the way.

- Uh, Timmy, was it? - Um, it's Tommy.

Sure.

Aunt Ada: Stop expecting your suspects to tell you what they were.

Instead, you need to talk to the dead.

Oh!

Get out!

Stop!

Do you think we're, like, actually really good at this?

Yeah.