Original subtitles

The hallways were dripping with blood and gore.

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And then I removed the villain's head from his body.

His guts flew everywhere. (CACKLES)

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And, of course, I ate his eyeball.

So he can never find his way back to the halls of Valhalla.

(LAUGHING)

I guess I'm just taking a break.

This is very different, but, you know, life is about new experiences.

And this certainly is one of them.

Anyway, I ended up here in Australia

and moved in with Daryl.

Hello.

THOR: We split the rent, of course. Divide the duties.

Clean. Daryl cleans the toilet, mainly.

'Cause you do most of the damage in there.

(CHUCKLES)

I'm a prince from another world

and I'm used to giant, shiny, golden castles.

So this is kind of ridiculous

- in a lot of ways, but... - (DARYL SIGHS)

You know, I'm managing.

Thor's great. He's kind. He's very strong.

He has a particular point of view.

But there's another side, which I understand, it can be frustrating.

Connect four.

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

He's massively out of touch.

Just things like this. He destroyed Connect Four

and this has been in the family for quite a while,

and I can't tell him that sort of stuff.

I just sit here cleaning it up.

He just doesn't seem to have a concept of time.

I said, "Bills are due fortnightly."

And he really deals with things in centuries, I guess?

'Cause he's often said, "I'll get to it next century."

I can't, uh, pay rent with these things.

One's a pumpkin, and these are Asgardian coins.

They're not worth anything.

In Asgard, those coins, these coins,

are worth gazillion human dollars, okay?

There's a gazillion, you're rich. There's a gazillion.

Gazillion, gazillion, gazillion.

- No one will exchange these. - Go to the market.

- Set up a store, right? - Yeah, yeah.

Asgardianware.

Previously owned by Thor.

I'm a celebrity. That will sell like hot cakes.

You might need to think about (STUTTERS) getting a job.

- (LAUGHS) Get a job? You serious? - Yeah.

I have a job. Do you know what my job is?

I save the planet.

Maybe you should get a job. Hmm?

- I have a job. - Really? (BLABBERING)

Hitting the machine, with the words that come out of it.

"Ooh, this is knowledge. Knowledge is power."

No, it's not. Knowledge is not power. That's power.

The brain is a muscle.

And that's a muscle. And that's a muscle.

And they're all muscles. This is all muscle.

So I am covered in brains, and I have more brains than you.

So do you think maybe we could just think about...

I think we need a servant.

- I don't think we can get a servant. - We should get a servant.

- I don't think we can get a servant. - Yay! It's settled.

We're getting a servant.

That came out of a conversation about me saying, "Could you pay some rent?"

And then his next thought is, "I'll get a servant."

I don't see how those two things are connected.

THOR: So, Shane, it's nothing too hard, really. The usual stuff.

Polishing this guy here.

Cleaning my armour after adventures and battles.

There'll be blood and sweat and grime on them.

Sharpening my swords, writing of my legendary tales.

But really, Shane, the main thing you'll be doing as my servant

is to get a job and to pay my rent.

And you'll be paid in Asgardian gold. How does that sound?

Excellent. Oh, you're hired.

Now bring me some more mead.

DARYL: He's essentially an illegal alien.

I'm dreading the knock on the door

and his reaction to "Where's your passport?"

We were all the best of friends.

And then they had a disagreement, stopped talking, and there was a fight.

But not one of them bothered to call me.

And that's just one thing that you'll have to learn about life.

That friendship is not forever.

That nothing lasts. Nothing.

THOR: Earth is a place that I've come to love.

And I feel it's a second home.

And I'm very protective of the humans

because they're so helpless and ridiculous.

(INHALES SHARPLY) Let's go to bed.

- It's just me and Daryl now. - DARYL: Yeah.

And we don't need anybody else.

Just...

Just best friends forever.

- We'll have to get you an outfit. - Yeah.

(CLICKS TONGUE) Maybe a cape or something.

Yeah, whatever.

What about this? Do you wanna try to hold that?

(LAUGHS)

- As if. - (BOTH CHUCKLE)