Original subtitles

What kind of pies do you have?

Well, we got um...

Apple, pecan, cherry, key lime.

And which do you recommend?

Well, key lime's great, but...

it's an acquired... acquired taste.

Well I ain't had key lime pie in ten years.

When you had it did you like it?

No, but that don't mean much.

I was a completely different person back then.

Let's give that key lime pie a day in court...

And a big ol' glass of nonfat milk, if you please.

Should I make that two pieces?

No, no, Rosie.

My name's not Rosie. It's Mabel!

Whatever.

"It must have hurt your pride"

"To have to stand beneath my window"

"With your bugle and your drum"

"And me, I'm up there waitin'

"For the miracle"

"For the miracle to come"

"I don't believe you'd like it"

"You wouldn't like it here"

"There ain't no entertainment"

"And the judgments are severe"

Goddamn, this son of a bitch is runnin' hot!

Y'all go on inside. I'm gonna check it out.

All right, I'll get a cold one for ya.

Good God almighty, what the hell is that?

That? A bitch out of hell, son.

Take a run at her, kiddo.

- Miller, Mabel. - Right, comin' up.

Hey, Mabel.

"The way you love me got to suit my style"

"Or little baby, I will say goodbye"

That's some sweet piece of meat, ain't it?

Her name's...

...Mallory.

Mallory, whatever. Who gives a shit?

I call it pussy!

Hell's bells, don't stop now, darlin'...

I'm just gettin' started!

Hey, I think she's sweet on you.

Are you flirtin' with me?

You want a piece of it, darling?! Do ya?!

Your move-- Your move, fucker! Go!

Yeah! This stupid...

Shit...

...list!

Shit! You son of a bitch...

It's not polite to point.

Just because my woman's mopping up the floor

with your buddy, is no reason for you to join in.

How sexy am I now? Huh?! Flirty boy?!

How sexy am I now?!

Damn!

"You made my shit list!"

Why're they always fuckin' with me?

Honey! Come on, he's dead.

I just wanna dance. Fucker!

No! There's no escaping here!

Who's the lucky one?

Eenie, meenie minie, moe

Catch a redneck by his toe.

If he hollers let him go!

Eanie, meanie, minie, moe...

My mama told me...

...to pick the best one,

...and you are it!

When people ask you who done this,

you tell 'em Mickey and Mallory Knox did it.

All right? Say it!

Mickey and Mallory Knox did it.

Mickey and Mallory Knox.

- I love you, Mickey. - I love you, Mallory!

Stars are coming out.

Look up in the brassy sky, and there they are like loony pocket change

You bet on something you wish you had 10,000 to bet on,

something where the odds are good.

Betting all those stars won't mean shit...

I saw 'em getting out of the car, ...going into a door.

One of the cops looks at me, and I shake my head, "No!"

The whole world's comin' to an end, Mal.

That's the angels, Mickey.

They're comin' down for us from heaven.

And I see you ridin' a big red horse.

And you're drivin' the horses, whippin' 'em.

And they're spittin' and frothin' all at the mouth.

And they're comin' right at us.

And I see the future.

There's no death,

'cause you and I, we're angels.

That is poetry.

Damn.

I love you, Mal.

I know you do, baby.

I've loved you since the day we met.

Hi, Dad, how was work?

What work? I'm unemployed.

Where the fuck have you been, huh?

Well, you look nice, Mallory.

Yuck, you look like [barf sound]

Thanks, Mom. Well, I'm gonna go now.

I'll be back at midnight, okay?

What're you wearing, a broomstick and a trash bag?

Why don't you put some meat on you?

A few pounds lighter, you'll be Miss Ethiopia.

Where the hell do you think you're goin'?

I'm going to the John Lee Hooker concert with Donna.

I told you that yesterday.

First off, you don't tell me anything! You ask my permission.

Second, you're not going out in that whorehouse dress.

You'll end up peddlin' your ass, you stupid bitch.

And third, you're not going out at all.

You didn't mow the yard.

That piece of shit lawn mower is fucked!

That's how you talk in front of your mother?!

You stupid bitch! You watch your language

or I'll kick the shit out of you... like I do her.

So if your ass is in this house...

...it's my ass.

So you move it upstairs and take a shower.

And you make sure it's a good shower,

'cause I'm comin' up after to see how clean you are.

Mommy!

Don't you think you were a little hard on her, Ed?

I'll show her a little tenderness... after I eat.

When I get up there she won't see my face for an hour.

Darling, I think you should speak nicely in front of Kevin.

Don't think. You're a fucking idiot!

What am I, the bad guy?

Did I ask you to fuck my friends?

And don't tell me what to do!

If it wasn't for me, you'd still be slingin' hash in that shithouse and fuckin' your boss

Oh, that must be Donna! I'll tell her the bad news.

Don't let your macaroni get cold, Ed.

- Yes? - Delivery for Ed Wilson.

What on earth is it?

It's beef, lady 50 pounds of beef.

Well you wait right here. I have to have a word with my husband.

Who're you?

Mickey. Who're you?

I'm Mallory.

You oughta change your name to beautiful.

You a big... meat eater, Mallory?

I could be.

You always dress like that, or you just...

...waitin' for me?

Why would I be dressed like this for somebody I don't know?

Maybe something inside you told you to.

You know, like fate.

You believe in fate, Mallory?

Maybe.

You don't look too happy.

Wanna go for a ride? Talk about it?

Now, Ed, you promised your doctor, no more meat.

I eat what I want, so what?

This fuckin' food here, you pray after you eat.

It's just that I don't want you to clog up your arteries

...and just keel over at the table.

Now don't fuckin' cry! It turns me off!

I haven't cried in 15 years and you still haven't touched me.

Yeah, how 'bout him?

You were drunk and thought you were in Mallory's room!

That's why we have Kevin.

What?! You mean Mallory's my mom?!

I'm sending the meat back, Ed.

And I don't care what you do to me!

You know what I'll do to you...

- Ed, look! - What does it say?

"Out with the meat man. Back before dawn. Love, Mallory."

Oh, that stupid bitch.

Ed, they stole your car.

My car? Oh, that meat man cocksucker!

I broke her in and he grabbed her.

I'll fix his ass too. Call the cops! Come on!

Everything I see, I see you, Mal.

I know, baby, I'm goin' crazy too.

Even ugliness looks beautiful... ...'cause of you.

Even though I'm in here, I visit you every night.

Listen, Mickey...

...my daddy, he's gonna move us away...

so that you can't never find me.

And I'm scared.

He can't keep me away from you.

- Okay - He said if you ever show up...

...he's gonna kill you.

Kill me? When's this supposed to happen?

Can I help you?!

He won't leave me alone.

He keeps fuckin' touchin' me, and I can't take it.

I have to go.

'Cause if he finds out I'm gone, he's gonna beat me.

I just wanted to tell you I love you and I miss you...

...and don't forget about me.

- You won't forget about me? - I won't forget about you.

It's cool. No matter where he takes you...

...Timbuktu, it don't matter.

'Cause we're fate. You know?

Nobody can stop fate. Nobody can.

One of these nights soon...

...I'm gonna be comin' for you.

Gotta go.

I love you.

Come on!

Tornado! Tornado!

Move!, move!, move!, move!

All right you guys, get on the goddamn bus! Now!

Get on the fuckin' bus!

Hey!

Stop or I'll shoot!

...break his arms.

There's no action here. What am I watchin', two fuckin' fags?!

Kill him! Kill the fuckin' Indian!

Where the fuck do you think you're going?

- I'm going out! - You ain't going nowhere!

Hey Dick... Mickey's back.

Well, just the prick I wanna see.

All right, fuck face!

Now I'm gonna take your eye out and show it to you.

You been fuckin' the wrong woman!

You stupid bitch! You stupid fuckin' bitch!

"You will shut up! You will eat your food!"

"You will listen to me! Are you clean?!"

"Are you sloppy and wet?!"

"You stupid bitch!"

He's dead! He's dead!

Now where's the old bag?

He's dead. He's dead!

Hi, Mom.

You never did nothin'.

Wait!

You're free, Kevin.

Wherever we go, or whatever happens, Mickey...

when I look up at the stars...

I'll know you're lookin' up at the same ones.

Same ones, baby.

You make every day feel like kindergarten.

All right!

I think we should get a whole bunch of stuff,

because I need a whole new wardrobe,

'cause I'm a new woman now, huh?

A- All right, All right, honey.

I'm a new woman!

She's a new woman!

Past is behind us, Mal.

It's time to grow up.

We got the road to hell in front of us.

- Mal? - Yes?

Will you marry me?

Of course I'll marry you.

I've been waitin' for you to say that for so long.

Well, where are we gonna get married?

Right here, Mal. This is our church.

I got the perfect thing.

Give me your hand.

That's not what I had in mind.

Fuck you!

Okay, put 'em together.

It's very romantic, baby.

We'll be livin' in all the oceans now.

God... before you and this river...

...and this mountain, and everything we don't know about.

Mickey, do you take Mallory to be your lawful wedded wife,

...to have and hold and treat right until you die?

I do.

Oh, baby.

Mallory, do you take Mickey to be your...

I ain't gonna murder anybody on our wedding day.

Fuck you! God!

I do.

For all eternity until you and I die,

...and die and die again...

...'til death do us part. Yes!

By the power vested in me, as God of my world...

I pronounce us husband and wife.

After that, there was no stopping Mickey and Mallory.

They tore up the countryside with a vengeance right out of the bible.

Tonight, I'm standing on Highway 666.

Running through towns like Cortez, Shiprock, Sheep Springs...

...and ending in Gallup, New Mexico.

To some, a beautiful stretch of the American landscape...

...but to Mickey and Mallory Knox, who are still at large,

it is literally a candy lane of murder and mayhem.

Patrolman Gerald Nash...

was just the first of 12 peace officers...

that Mickey and Mallory murdered during their reign of terror.

Gerald and his partner... Dale Wrigley,

were parked at this donut shop,

Alfie's Donuts, when...

This 1970 Dodge Challenger

pulled up across the street from the donut shop.

Gerald, only three weeks out of the academy,

come walkin' out with coffee...

...and my bear claw.

Hey you.

Driver asked him a question.

How the hell do you get to Farmington?

Looked like he was giving street directions.

Head on out on 324. Take it over to 66

and Farmington's up about 65 miles.

Quick ride. You folks goin' there?

When he finished they waved him thanks...

then up come that shotgun.

You cop killin' cocksuckers!

In the ensuing chase a tragic murder occurred.

American bronze medalist marathon bicyclist...

Brian Smith...

I always wanted to take a shot at one of 'em.

They're not so easy to hit.

We raped and pillaged the first show to do this.

We changed the order so it wouldn't be so obvious.

- It needs a new intro in my opinion. - Who is this guy?

You can't cannibalize yourself all the time.

- Repetition works, Davey. - You're gonna wind up with shit.

Do you think those nitwits out there in zombie land remember anything?

This is junk food for the brains.

It's filler, fodder. Whatever.

Look, just build it to the interview, okay?

Keep saying that word, "Live Interview with Wayne Gale!"

Anticipation, Davey, that's what it's all about.

What do you think of Mickey and Mallory, huh?

They're hot. Totally hot.

I love Mickey and Mallory.

They're so cool. They're so great.

Mickey and Mallory are the best thing to happen to mass murder since Manson.

Yeah, but they're way cooler.

Take all the great figures from the states:

- Elvis; Jack Kerouac; - James Dean;

- They are super cool. - Mickey, c'est l'homme!

Jim Morrison; Jack Nicholson; - add a bloody pail of nitrate

and you got Mickey and Mallory.

I'm not saying I believe in mass murder or that shit,

- Don't get us wrong. - We respect human life and all.

But, if I was a mass murderer, I'd be Mickey and Mallory.

"I'm back in baby's arms"

"I miss those lovin' arms"

I haven't seen a cop for ten minutes.

- Well... - Is there such a thing as a cop-less town?

That would be paradise, wouldn't it? Shangri La.

- You wanna get us a hostage? - No.

What about her? You from here?

What about her? Too heavy? Too fat?

What's the matter?

Well, do you think I'm still sexy?

Oh, man, we might have to find us a motel here soon.

Soon as I see one that looks nice

I'm gonna put my little honey bunny bride down on the bed,

tie her up.

"Now I'm back where I belong"

"And in my baby's arms I'm gonna stay"

Offering a present in the form of a flower.

Wanna go out and get something to eat?

No... we'll stay in. We got plenty of action here.

You know what I've been thinking about, baby?

Course I know. You been thinkin' bout...

rollin' around in that big sunflower patch outside of Tulsa.

How'd you know?

...and you been thinkin' about cuttin' your hair short.

And you been thinkin' about us,

settlin' down on a boat, in the middle of a big lake

...with a dog and a jukebox and a 26" Sony Trinitron.

Baby, I love it when you can read my mind.

I bet I know what you been thinkin' about.

Yeah, I been thinkin' about...

why they're makin' all these stupid fuckin' movies.

Doesn't anybody out there in Hollywood

believe in kissin' anymore? Hm?

Love you baby.

I love your knee. I love your thigh.

Love your stomach.

I love your finger.

- Where is it?! - Goddamn it, Mickey!

I just took it off so I wouldn't snag my hair when I washed it.

Okay, baby, look.

Even if that ring pulls out every hair on your head,

it stays on.

If it tears out my eyeballs, it never comes off.

Every great thing we do starts with these.

All right. Since you put it that way.

The impulse for sexual reproduction is strong and unique.

"I know you really love me"

"But you see my hands"

Why are you lookin' at her?

"I know it must have hurt you"

"It must have hurt your pride"

I'm goin' for a ride.

Uh... baby, hold on.

I thought we could just throw her into the mix.

Shut up! Shut up! Quit being so fucking cute!

You can be cute all by yourself, little Mickey!

You're so fuckin' pretty! You go fuck her!

Maybe I just will!

We gonna have some fun?!

No!

Fill her up.

- Can I look at that car? - Go ahead.

That'll be, uh... 17 bucks, lady.

That's a nice 'Vette.

Wait a second. Don't I know you?

I don't think so.

Do you want to touch me?

Yeah.

Tell me you want me.

I want you.

Tell me I'm beautiful.

Boy, you are beautiful.

Am I beautiful?

You're so fucking beautiful I can't stand it.

Am I sexy?

Yes, you're sexy.

Go down.

Holy shit. You're Mallory Knox, ain't ya?

That's the worst fucking head I ever got in my life!

Next time, don't be so fuckin' eager!

It's called, "Scagnetti" on Scagnetti."

- It's probably at your local bookstore. - Yeah.

- Why don't you go buy it? - I will.

An author too, huh?

My wife could never wear these.

Now, that is a perfect ass.

It's nice.

There's her arm... her head.

Dry saliva drops here. See 'em?

That's my type of girl. I like her.

Let's see what we got here, Scooter.

Give it up.

Mallory Knox, meet Jack Scagnetti.

Exactly, where do you expect us to be goin' right now?

Where exactly are we supposed to be?

What town is it that's out here?

Oh, fuck, it's the fuckin' cheese.

Quit lookin' in the rear view. Sit back.

Put the lighter on the floor.

Where's the bag?

- Mal... would you relax? - What

Make a left up here. I think there's a town.

All I see is desert.

That's right, Cochise...

go eat some more fried bread.

Give me some 'shrooms, Mal?

Mine ain't kickin' in yet.

Turn left? Turn left to what, you stupid bitch?

"Aw, you stupid bitch."

"You stupid bitch?" "You stupid bitch!"

Mickey, that's what my father used to call me.

Thought you'd be more creative than that.

You're losin' it, Mickey! You're losin' it!

Snakes and birds! Ain't nothin' out here.

I'd go down on a lawman for a gallon of gas.

Let me tell you something. This is the 1990's, all right?

In this day and age, a man has to have choices.

A man has to have a little bit of variety.

What're you talkin' about, "variety"?

Hostages? You wanna fuck some other women now?

Is that what you're talkin' about, Mickey?

Why'd you pick me up?

Why'd you take me out of my fuckin' house and kill my parents with me?

Ain't you committed to me?

Where are we fuckin' goin'?

Just relax, all right? It's me, your lover, not some demon,

not your father, all right? Relax.

No, you're not my fuckin' lover.

You're not my fuckin'- You been lovin' me?

You been fuckin' lovin' me, huh?

You've been lovin' me real fuckin' true!

Hey... listen,

we got tobacco, lots of tobacco, if...

You got any gas we can buy?

I don't think he speaks English, Mickey.

Push comes to shove, we can snatch that donkey and ride on outta here.

Come on in.

Come on in.

- Oh! - Oh, my God!

- That a friendly snake? - That's a rattlesnake.

My name is Mal-lo-ry.

This is Mick-ey.

How...

you doin'...?

We're not from here.

It's kinda like "The Twilight Zone" or something.

Is that your wife?

Washington...

Oh, he died?

That was your baby, huh?

Feel the demons here, Mal?

I think we're the demons.

Who you out there fuckin'?

- Your father. - Bitch!

I said, shut up!

- Come here, you peckerhead. - Don't! Don't hit me!

Mom...?

I hate you, you little asshole!

- This is so bad! - Shit!

- What did you do, Mickey? - I didn't mean it!

Mal!

Bad, bad, bad...!

- Come on, Mal! - Bad, bad!

Okay, okay. Get it together, now.

Come on!

Come on, Mal!

Mal...?

Let's go!

Come on!

Why? Why did you do that?

It was an accident. This whole fuckin' thing is crazy.

There are no accidents, Mickey.

I'm human, Mal, and I made a mistake,

- and you gotta understand... - You are sick!

You killed life!

He fed us!

He took us in there!

Mal, that is a harsh indictment.

Mal... whoa-! Hold it, hold it!

Leave me alone! I'm going!

No, Mal! Hang on!

- You okay? - I got bit!

- Hold on, Mal! - Oh, shit!

My leg!

- Go on, Mal! - I think there's more!

- I know, hang on, hang on! - Mickey, there's more.

- Oh, shit. - Stay right there, Mal!

There's more!

What have we done?!

Hop on, Mal.

Know something? Badasses don't die, Mal.

I'm seein' space. Make it stop!

It's okay...

Just dreamin' and shit.

It's just a dream, Mal.

My name's Pinky.

Oh, yeah, I remember, now.

My brother gave me this name when I was six or so.

He said, "Well, you're about as big as my little pinky."

I really don't like these cheap motels.

Give me the creeps.

Say, are you a real cop?

I'm a real cop.

You're not gonna hurt me, are you?

I never hurt anybody in my whole life.

I'm the law, okay?

I'm your protector.

Come on over here. Come here.

Come on over here. Take off them shoes.

You're real pretty.

Step up on the bed.

That's nice. Move around.

Yeah, you like that?

Take off your bra.

Mmm... that's nice.

Come here. Come on down here and gimme a kiss.

Gimme a kiss. Give big Jack a kiss.

- You like me? - Yes.

Pinky... you ever been strangled?

Hey, just kidding with you.

Come on, I'm just kidding with you.

Come here. Give me a kiss.

I'm just kiddin'. I'm just kiddin'.

Come here. I'm just kiddin', okay?

Fuckin' bitch!

Mickey! I'm coming to get you.

I'm not gonna make it.

I feel so cold.

You're gonna make it, Mal. Get mad.

Just go get the stuff... go get the stuff then.

All right.

Once they were average citizens.

Living drab nothing-ever-happens lives.

But then these sweethearts began a cross country murder spree

which has lasted only three terrifying weeks,

but has left 48 known bodies in its wake,

including Mallory's own...

...mom and dad.

Oh, shit.

- All needlessly... - Excuse me.

Aloha.

- Uh... chief? - Yeah?

Rattlesnake took a chunk out of us a ways back...

and me and my wife are pretty sick.

Could be dying, you never can tell about these things.

So, how's about you ungluing your fatass from that boob tube.

And getting us some snake juice... pronto.

Found it yet?

They stormed in with shotguns...

and after liberating the establishment

of all the firearms they could carry,

and various personal idiosyncratic knickknacks...

they killed every customer in the place without hesitation.

"Come on... money! Faster! Faster!"

But they always leave one clerk alive...

...to tell the tale of Mickey...and Mallory.

I'll be damned. Mal?!

Shit.

Mal!

Mal, cops!

Hurry! I'll meet you out front with the car.

Go get the car! I'll get the snake-bite juice!

No! No, please!

Well, that was sweet. Snake juice.

We don't carry it. Hospital.

Yahembey? This shit keep you hard?

I'm the only clerk left.

- You're forgettin' something. - W-What's that?

If I don't kill you... what is there to talk about?

- Fuckin' squid. - No!

Mal?!

I forgive you, baby.

All right, get off of him!

Mal!

Fuck you!

What a stupid bitch!

Shut the fuck up!

Kill 'em all!, kill 'em all!

Hey you bonehead sissy, this is Jack Scagnetti, Knox!

Now you put that gun down!

Fuck you, Scagnetti!

Now! I'll cut her tits off!

Go ahead, Scagnetti! I'll get her some silicon implants.

I swear to God, I'll cut her fuckin' tits off,

right here... ...right now!

Go ahead! You ain't got the balls.

Don't give up! He ain't gonna do it!

Shut the fuck up!

Watch this!

Hey, you like that?!

Oh, God! Okay!

- Hey, put that gun down! - Don't cut her!

Put your hands where I can see them,

and step out in the light.

Kill 'em all! Kill 'em all!

All right! I'm coming out!

Put your hands where I can see 'em!

That's a good boy!

Now step out in the light. Come on.

Yeah, come on out here. Step outside, big shot.

All right!

Someone come get this bitch.

Come on... get the big bad wolf.

Come on, come on, give me that.

- You're in my light, motherfucker! Shove over!

Oh, God, my eye!

Hold your fire! Hold your fire!

Don't kill him! I'm going to fuck with him!

No! Do not kill him!

One camera all you can muster, Jack? Huh?

You ain't that big a star yet, cocksucker.

You're on, you and me, one on one, let's go.

Fuck you! Yeah! Bring it, bring it, bring it.

Fry this cop killer!

How's that feel, big shot?

Fuck you!

Make that motherfucker dance!

Hey, Mickey. Want a drink?

- Fuck you! - Just jokin'.

Where's my baby? Where is she?

Let her go... let her go.

You okay, babe? Yeah, you're all right.

"These boots were made for walkin'"'

"And that's just what they'll do"

"One of these days these boots"

"Are gonna walk all over you"

Hey, no pictures! Clear the area!

- Always wanted to meet you, Scagnetti. - Oh?

I really respect you. You know what?

I even bought your book.

- And I read the whole goddamn thing. - Oh, yeah?

How 'bout an autograph?

Warden.

- Jack Scagnetti. - There ya go.

Dwight McClusky. Welcome to hell.

Great to meet you warden.

So, how the hell are my two favorite assholes?

We got them two ratfucks back up in there.

- I guess you'll want to see 'em. - Why not?

- I seen you on TV. - Oh, yeah?

I even read your goddamned book.

- I'm impressed. - Oh.

- Surprised Hollywood ain't found you yet. - Oh

Your story would make a lot better movie than that "Serpico" shit.

I'll tell you something, Scagnetti...

in all my days in the penal business-

and that ain't no small amount of days, right boys?

- Oh, no. - Nope.

Mickey and Mallory Knox are, without a doubt,

the most twisted, depraved pair of shitfucks...

it's ever been my displeasure to lay my goddamn eyes on.

I'm telling you, these goddamn motherfuckers

are a walking reminder of how fucked up this system really is.

Don't get me started, okay? Don't get me started.

Dwight. You call me Dwight.

They killed a shitload of inmates and guards?

Three inmates, five guards, one shrink all in one year's time.

- Open that goddamned gate. - Yes sir.

- Psychiatrist? - Yeah.

Mickey's better half, miss Mallory, strangled his ass

when he made the dumbass mistake of asking what her parents were like.

- She done it all on tranquillizers. - Oh.

Ain't love grand? Ain't that the truth?

It's like that other big lie...

"Love makes the world go 'round."

I need to talk to you about something...

How's a fella like you get to be a specialist in psychos, anyway?

Well, actually, Dwight, I'd recommend having your mother killed by one.

After that happened, I developed a rather keen interest in the subject.

- What happened? - I was born and spent the first part of my life in Texas.

- That's funny. You don't have an accent. - I don't wanna talk like those assholes.

- My mother was from Texas. - I meant those other assholes.

- The ones who beat the shit out of me. - Okay.

When I was eight years old we went to play in the park.

The same day Charles Whitman climbed to the top of University of Texas

and started shooting strangers.

- And you was with her? - Sure was.

The thing is, Dwayne, I didn't hear any of the shots. Any of 'em.

One minute I'm with my mother and all of a sudden...

Chest explodes. She hits the ground, right. And I'm just lookin' at her,

Her forearm flies off, her hip explodes,

and I'm not hearing any of these shots, right.

Boom! Chest explodes, right.

I spent all goddamned day lying on the grass,

being eaten alive by fuckin' ant's, thinking...

"What happened to my mom?" You know.

And since then I've had a strong opinion about the...

psychopathic fringe that thrives today in America's fast food culture.

I tend not to exhibit the self discipline, you know?

- Becoming a police officer. - You got it right, Jack.

You don't mind do you, if I call you Jack?

We got an army of shrinks in here that talk about mania, schizophrenia, and multiphrenia

and obsessions. It makes me sick.

It's all pride. It's arrogance, it's bullshit.

I'll tell ya, this Mickey and Mallory Knox are not the sickest I've ever seen.

- Open up. - Yes, sir.

Tonight's movie will be "Escape from the Planet of the Apes".

So, why me, Dwight? What's this really about?

Can you feel it, Jack?

- Silence in the air? - Yeah.

It's the one thing you don't want in prison, Jack.

- Silence. - Uh-huh.

- You boys all right? - What the fuck is you lookin' at?

- You boys all right? - I said, what the fuck is you lookin' at?

Drop it! Drop it!

Try this on, big boy!

Try it on there, you son of a bitch. Now come on up here! Boy!

Come on up here! Dance for me!

Goddamn it!

Stick his ass in F block for a month then bring him to see me!

you alright?

Jesus Christ, Dwight, you could be on American Gladiators.

30 minutes a day, shake and roll it.

Somebody goes for you, you go straight for their throat.

Mickey and Mallory did this. They got the whole prison worked up.

- Like sharks to chum bait. - Smell of blood drives 'em nuts.

- 80% of these assholes are violent offenders. - We're over 200% capacity.

This ain't a prison anymore, Jack. It's a time bomb.

- Fry the pricks. - Well, we tried.

Every time we do they kill somebody new, and we gotta start the legal process over again.

Sounds like a hemorrhoid you can't get rid of, Dwight.

That's why we're sending them for testing to Nystrom with you.

Lobotomy Bay?

Vegetable land. Home of the criminally insane.

- That hasn't been done in years. - We got a stage one ruling.

It won't stick with these asshole do-good shrinks around,

but it'll get 'em under your control for a couple of hours.

Then what?

You're a celebrated law man. Public loves you.

15 years on the force. Best-seller out in paperback.

A modern day Pat Garrett with a deadly axe to grind with maniacs.

That is why you have been chosen to delver Mr. and Mrs. Knox.

We, the Prison Board, know once you get 'em on the road,

- if anything should happen... - An accident.

- Fire. - Escape attempt, anything.

Jack "Super Cop" Scagnetti will be there,

to look out for his public's best interest.

I'm getting the picture here, Dwight.

'Course, nobody in their right minds will cry for these twp pigfuckers

if they happen to take a little lead.

A lot of lead, Jack.

You write the script. Call it anything you want to.

"Showdown in Mojave" "The Extermination of Mickey and Mallory Knox"

I don't give a shit. I'm giving you my two best men,

Kavanaugh and Wurlitzer.

We got a special disliking for these punkolas!

Have we found our man?

You know her, you love her.

You cannot fucking live without her. Mallory Knox.

"...One in my heart"

"I guess I was born"

"Naturally born"

"Born bad"

- Hey, Knox. Somebody out here wants to meet you. - "Born bad"

"it's such a sin"

"I guess I was born"

"Naturally born"

"Born bad"

Jesus Christ!

Don't worry about it. She does this all the time.

She ain't changed a bit, huh?

So, where's the other half?

We got his stinking' ass in the deepest, darkest cell

in the whole dungeon. Just so happen you can't see him right now.

- He's got a special visitor. - Oh, yeah, who's that?

Wayne Gale.

Wayne Gale? The TV scumbag?

We call them media, Jack. Don't you like the media?

A worm in my bloodstool's got more attraction to me than that.

Okay, Dwight? The guy lives to fuck cops over.

Can't say no to the media, Jack. You want this job?

You come say hello.

I have a television show.

And. uh, every couple of weeks we do, y'know,

it's our thing about "Current America". We do, uh,

A profile on a different serial killer.

Technically, mass murderer.

Well, whatever you are.

Anyway, the episode we did on Mickey and Mallory was one of our most popular ones.

- Ever do one on John Wayne Gacy? - Uh, yeah. Yeah.

- Who got the higher rating? - You blew him away.

What about that crazy motherfucker, Ted Bundy?

Oh, that crazy guy? You got the larger Nieison share.

You're big. You're huge.

- What I wanna get to-- - What about Manson?

Manson beat you.

Well, it's pretty hard to beat the king.

Yeah. Anyway, Julie, my producer and I...

We've waited a long time to do a follow up episode on you.

And that time has definitely come.

Anyway, I feel it's apparent to anyone who's hip to what's going on,

that these prison boys have thrown the Constitution straight out the fucking window.

You and Mallory may be killers, but nuts? insane?!

Today they wipe clean your mind, because they feel your actions are dangerous.

Tomorrow, they might clean my mind or dump me into fucking syndication,

because they feel what I say is dangerous.

Where does it all end?!

Now, I have interviews with the Prison Board,

and the psychiatrist, Emil Reingold,

and with that warden, Dwight McClusky,

and I'll tell you, Mickey, they look bad.

Now, if you give an exclusive to Wayne Gale,

we are talking a media event here. Some promos on the Super Bowl.

The network will cream for it. Oh, my God!

What a great idea, Julie!

We are about nothing less than television history.

The first sit-down, in-depth interview

with the most charismatic serial killer ever,

one day before he's being shipped away to a mental hospital

for the rest of his life.

This is Wallace and Noriega.

This is Elton John confessing his bisexuality to Rolling Stone.

This is the Maysles Brothers at Altamont.

This is the fucking Nixon/Frost interviews.

What do you say, mate?

Why in the hell are you lettin' this scumbag do this, Dwight?

Oh, relax. if I don't, we'll be excoriated in the press.

If I do, it'll be weeks before they can clear it.

Legal, appeals.

M&M are gonna be toast before that ever happens. Right, Jack?

Nobody's gonna give a flying fuck about two dead losers.

What do you say?

- Time, motherfucker. - Hey, hey. Come on!

Hey, come on!

Leave him alone, he's a human being, for Christ sake!

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Let him answer me!

Time's running' out, mate. What's the answer?

I say, go for it.

- In any case, he says yes. - I thought he would, but

we're gonna keep contact with the population to a minimum.

Okay, no worries, mate. Just give me a large room. I'll take it from there, okay?

We're stealth journalists.

If I was you, I'd worry more about the promos

that start hittin' the air next week.

You'll be a national face, Warden, a hero to the American public.

- No... - it's true. Who knows...?

- You could launch a new career here. - No.

Julie, my producer, is gonna fax you in the morning with the details.

I've gotta get back to the Rotten Apple.

I'm doing a benefit tonight for the homeless transsexual veterans.

"Dearest Mallory:

You once told me I had no feelings.

You were right, and you were wrong.

I got more feelings now than I ever had before.

I've been reading a lot, and doing yoga with this guy,

but he pissed me off.

He's not around anymore.

At night, I pretend you're lying next to me.

I lie in my cell...

I imagine kissing you, not making love,

just kissing for hours and hours on end.

I remember everything about our time.

I remember every secret you ever shared.

I remember every single time you laughed...

and your dancing, oh, my God, your dancing.

I lie on my bed and go over every day,

every minute of our happiness.

I take it all as it comes,

and I live that day again.

That way, when I get to our first kiss,

they're not just memories.

I feel that joy again."

Dr. Reingold, are they insane?

Insane?

...No.

Psychotic? Yes.

It's right after the Super Bowl. We've got 'em in their homes,

the game has just sucked, and they want to see this guy, Mickey.

What's he like...?

A country numb with violence.

These guys want to tear their wives' heads off!

Yeah, but some of them...

Mickey and Mallory know the difference

between right and wrong.

They just don't give a damn.

This will be the most talked about event in television history!

...they were sexually abused as children, Dr. Reingold?

I can't imagine. I don't think... that it's...

I would say... no.

When you suggested that I marry your daughter after I got her pregnant,

that's exactly what I did.

Now, you listen to me...

if you blow this,

CBS will be eating your lunch next season,

and I'll be there with them, 'cause I'm out of here!

I'm out! Yeah

...Mallory Knox has said that she does want to kill you.

I never really believe what women say to me.

Maggie! Margaret, darling, I don't know what you think you found,

- but it's not what you think it is. - Just tell me who Ming is.

"Ming"? There's no "Ming". That's a fuckin' restaurant!

What do you mean going through my drawers?

I don't go through your drawers.

Davey, this looks like it was cut with a fuckin' meat cleaver.

And where's my close ups?

Now, listen... less of the shrink,

keep the teens, keep the longhairs...

I love the cop at the doughnut shop,

and I love McClusky.

Cut in on him in the middle of that horrific fuckin' laugh.

Freeze frame on him. Don't even let him answer.

Then, cut to me at the trial.

"Their subsequent trial turned into a sick, pathetic circus.

The nation caught Mickey and Mallory fire."

Mike fuckin' Griffin is who these misguided assholes should be revering.

Mike Jerome Griffin was killed in the line of duty

by these cocksucking, degenerate douchebags!

We Want Mickey! We Want Mallory!

What do you think of this turnout, Mallory?

I've never had more fun in my life!

Scumbag!

Ming... Ming, first of all, slow down. Speak English.

Okay? You're paranoid.

Nah, she's not on to us.

I don't give a fuck what the I Ching says!

Just don't put anything down on paper. Ever.

If she calls back, you say, "Hello, Ming Dynasty Restaurant...

Number Five, may I take your order?"

What do you have to say to your fans?

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

How the hell did you let this show go live, Dwight? For Christ's sake.

Couldn't help it, just got out of hand.

Doesn't change a thing, though, Jack. Gonna move them scumbags in the morning,

just a little bit ahead of schedule, that's all.

You know, Dwight, when I do these two ratfucking douche bags,

I'll go right up there with Jack Ruby, huh?

World famous, huh? Hall of Fame.

You'll be bigger, Jack. Lee Harvey Oswald was a pussy.

Oswald might have been a pussy, but he was a great shot.

Do you hear it, Jack?

- Hear what? - It's dead quiet.

It's dangerous when it's dead quiet.

A- hem- Okay.

Testing, one-two-three... Wayne, don't blow this.

Hey, how goes it, brother?

Doing some hard time, huh? What'd they get you for?

Murder.

Yeah, that's a rough one. I'm with you.

Show time.

And Dallas, your Cowboys are the Super Bowl Champions...

Right after the game, stay tuned for a special

"American Maniacs", on W-A-T-C-H.

Mickey Knox is the most dangerous man in America,

but Wayne Gale isn't afraid to meet him, one on one,

to learn what 48 people died for.

Is this man insane? Or does he belong where he sent so many others?

In the grave.

Mickey Knox, thank you for this time.

I've got a few questions to start with, if you don't mind?

Ahem! Well, that's real the fuck nice, Wayne.

Mickey Knox, when did you start thinking about killing?

Birth. I was thrown into a flaming pit of scum forgotten by God.

What do you mean by that?

I mean, I came from violence, it was in my blood.

My dad had it, his dad had it.

- It's just my fate. - Do you believe in fate, boy?

- My fate. - No one is born evil, Mickey...

it's something you learn.

What about your father? How did he die?

You were only 10 years old, and there's a lot of speculation.

I didn't kill my father, and I don't wanna talk about that shit.

Hey, hey...! Watch it, watch it-

it's all right, it's okay...

it's okay.

Go on to something else. Okay?

Please, let's do.

Tell me, how can you look at an ordinary person, an innocent guy with kids,

...and then shoot him to death?

- I mean, how can you bring yourself to do that? - Innocent?

Who's innocent? You?

I'm innocent of murder, definitely.

It's just murder. All God's creatures do it in some form or another.

I mean, look in the forest.

Species kill other species. Our species killing all species...

...including the forest, and we just call it industry, not murder.

But I know a lot of people who...

...deserve to die.

Why do they deserve to die?

I think everybody got...

...something in their past. Some sin. Some awful, secret thing.

A lot of people walking around already dead...

...just need to be put out of their misery.

That's where I come in. Fate's messenger.

Except a corn or wheat falleth to the ground...

...and die, it abideth alone. But if it die...

...it bringeth forth much fruit.

The theory that everyone meets a serial killer halfway? Is that what you're saying?

The wolf don't know why he's a wolf. The deer don't know why he's a deer.

God just made it that way.

You're saying that the world itself is predatory.

When a lion takes down an elk, it's the elk's time to go.

And the B.S. liberal agenda about saving the animal herds...

...only serves to overpopulate the balance of nature.

Maybe you're right. I don't think so, but maybe you are.

Corporate and environmental predators.

Nuclear predators. Life is a hunt.

I've seen it, I was there.

When the shit hit the fan at Grenada, I saw it all...

...go down at Grenada.

So tell me, Mickey, any regrets?

I mean, three weeks, 50 people killed. Not too cool, Mickey.

Fifty-two, but I don't spend a lot of time with regret.

It's a wasted emotion.

You must have some regret. Come on, rack your brain.

I wish that Indian hadn't got killed.

Bad, bad, bad!

One of your last victims.

Man had a rattlesnake sitting in a corner.

A rattlesnake?

He could pick it up, pet it.

He saw it.

He saw what?

The demon. He saw the demon.

The demon?

What demon?

Everybody got the demon in here. The demon lives in here.

It feeds on your hate. Cuts, kills, rapes.

It uses your weakness, your fears. Only the vicious survive.

We all told we're no good pieces of shit since we could breathe.

After a while, you kind of become bad.

But after the Indian, we were gonna quit killing.

The old man took it out of us.

What happened?

It was all just a mistake, you know.

Man was trying to help us.

You know, pet us.

Same dream I've had since I was a kid. I just...

Running, running with the animals in the darkness.

Mr. Rabbit.

Bloody fangs.

Christmas hat.

Little...

...madness going on, I don't know. We're just running...

I'm just...

I'm Mr. Rabbit.

I'm eating every other animal in the forest.

Death just...

Death kind of becomes what you are.

After a while, you begin to like it.

You know about realization, Wayne?

I mean, all this is just...

...an illusion.

Mr. Rabbit says, "The moment of realization..."

"The moment of realization...

...is worth...

...a thousand prayers."

You're crazy, mate.

I don't think I'm any crazier than you are.

I'm extremes, dark and light, you know that.

I'm light With Mal. Mal.

Mal.

That's your shadow on the wall.

Can't get rid of your shadow, can you?

You know, the only thing that kills a demon:

Love.

That's why I know Mallory's my salvation. She was teaching me how to love.

I forgive you, baby.

It was just like...

...being in the Garden of Eden.

Only love can kill the demon.

Hold that thought.

If these guys are in your eye line, I'm sorry.

You want some powder?

Mmmm!

Rise and shine, Mallory.

Turn around and face the wall.

Relax, we want to have a talk, is all.

Don't get too close or she'll kill you.

- Oh yeah? - One way or another, she'll kill you.

Relax. Read my book. I met some unruly crocodiles...

...but this little lady? I she's got a sweet streak for me.

Take that. It's okay.

- We're not allowed... - It's okay.

It's okay, guys-

Smoke?

I know you smoke.

I'm not here to hurt you, Mallory.

I want to be your friend.

If I ever met a girl who needs a friend...

...it's you.

You're a very pretty girl.

Remember the last time you got fucked?

Remember?

I want you to close your eyes...

...and remember the last time Mickey gave you the hard one.

Thinking about it?

Forget it, because it's never gonna happen again.

When they get through with all the electroshock shit...

...Mickey ain't gonna be worth a shit.

Was it worth it?

Was what worth it?

Was massacring those people worth being separated from your love forever?

You mean, was an instant of my purity worth a lifetime of your lies?

Explain where's the purity you couldn't live without...

...in the 52 people...

...who aren't on this planet because they met you and Mallory.

What's so fucking pure about that? How do you do it?

You'll never understand, Wayne.

You and me aren't even the same species.

I used to be you, then I evolved.

From where you're standing, you're a man. To me, you're an ape.

Not even an ape, you're a media person.

Media's like the weather, only it's man-made weather.

Murder? It's pure.

You're the one made it impure.

You're buying and selling fear.

You say "Why?"

I say, "Why bother?"

Are you done? Great. Now let's out the B.S. and get real.

Why this purity that you feel about killing?

Why, for Christ sakes? Don't lie!

You just gotta hold that shotgun in your hand, and it becomes clear...

...like it did for me the first time.

That's when I realized my one true calling in life.

What's that, Mickey?

Shit, man...

...I'm a natural born killer.

And that's commercial. Two minutes, guys.

Did you get that?

All right, Mickey!

Great. Great, man.

- That was fucking brilliant. - Wurlitzer

- There's a riot going on here. - Shit!

Thanks.

Every fucking moron in the world just saw that, mate.

We got a riot going on here that's out of control. We need help.

God Almighty shit, Leroy. Where at?

In the rec room, B wing. We're outmanned, we need help.

All right.

You mobilize the men. I'm on my way.

Mr. Gale, close them cameras down. We got a riot going on in B wing.

-We're live, for Christ sakes! -You're finished.

- Millions are watching. - They got guns, hostages, explosives!

Close those cameras, now!

- Turn them off! - We'll never get this shot! We'll be famous!

You stay here and shut up.

I must find out what's going on before I let you film anywhere.

The world is watching! We'll never get this chance again!

Fuck you!

He can't tell me what to do in my jail! Fuck him!

Fuck you!

Keep your fingers on the trigger of your shotguns and follow me.

- Get his ass up here! - Come on!

Help! No! Oh, God, no!

No! Oh, no! God!

This is a tough room.

All right, one more.

Mother says to Sister:

"You can go to the drive-in with Bobby, but you got to take little Johnny."

Sister goes, "Okay."

They go, they come back.

Mother takes Johnny aside and says, "What happened?"

Little Johnny can't talk.

She says, "They went to the drive-in. What happened then?" Johnny goes:

"They were kissing? What else?" You heard this one?

"What else?"

Little Johnny goes:

"He felt her up?

What else?"

Little Johnny goes:

"They took off their clothes? What else?"

Little Johnny goes:

"They did that?

What the hell were you doing?!" Little Johnny goes:

"Little Johnny, no!"

Oh, shit!

Aah!

Drop it!

The gun, goddamn it! Smart move. Okay.

Empty the shells.

Hurry up!

Everybody raise your hands!

You think you're getting out of here, boy?

They're gonna mop you up, they're gonna put you in a bucket.

You're the law. I'm gonna break it.

You motherfucker!

Wayne, where are you?

I'm all right. I'm okay. I'm okay.

All right, new friend, get your camera.

- Where's Roger? - Right here.

- Where's Scully? - He's hit. I think he's dead.

Aw, Shit.

Put the shells on the table!

Drop your belt!

Hands behind your head!

Got the camera going yet?

They're both shot to shit.

- That's too bad for you. - No, no.

Wait, I got a remote Beta. I can get an image off it.

Very innovative. Put it on.

Everyone's going to follow me out of here.

One big, happy family, shooting everything I do.

Kavanaugh, get up!

Take me to Mallory's cell and hope she's in one piece.

Everyone get behind Kavanaugh.

Press up against his back!

Let's go! Young lady, come along with us.

Come on. Go, go, go.

Come on, hustle it!

Stay with me. Stay with me!

- Help me! - Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Come on, assholes!

Hey. Hey.

That's my camera, you motherfucker!

Get together.

Oh. Now I remember you. You're Jack.

I'm not really as bad as they say I am.

I'm actually a really nice person.

Yeah, I know.

I've done some pretty bad things myself.

I killed somebody.

No shit.

Anyway.

Know what I think about?

Sex.

Sex.

Fucking.

I think about hands on my tits.

And I think about flesh against flesh...

...and sweat.

My mind drives me crazy.

Sit down.

What do you want me to do?

I want you to kiss me and squeeze my nipple.

You're so specific.

Squeeze it.

You like a little bit of pain?

Harder.

How sexy am I now, fucker?

You stupid dick!

Shit. Shit, what happened?

You want a sexy little whore?

I'm trying, I'm trying.

Fucking bitch broke my fucking nose! Give me that gun!

I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you!

- No gun! Put it away! - Give me your Mace!

Come here, you fucking whore.

You want to play, bitch? You want some?

- No! - Get down! Get down!

I told you I liked you. I told you I liked you.

Now a special report from Channel 6 News.

They'll get you on the air. Are we on?

Good afternoon, I'm Antonia Chavez.

This is a WATCH special report.

I'm told we're taking you right now live to Botongo Penitentiary...

...where Wayne Gale continues his interrupted interview...

...in the middle of a riot. Wayne, can you hear me?

Wayne, tell us what's happening there? Are you safe?

This is Wayne Gale, resuming live.

You can tell by the blood and carnage all around...

...that the final chapter of Mickey and Mallory has yet to be written.

Are you in danger? Can you tell us?

War has broken out here, unlike anything I've ever seen!

Botongo will stand alongside them.

What's happening?

Botongo, Botongo, Botongo!

Botongoville.

Don't you like me?

Hey, Jack...

...Mickey's back!

Drop the shotgun!

Looks like we got us a Mexican standoff.

We've had this date from the beginning. Huh, Mickey.

Slide that shotgun over here.

Put your hands behind your head, your forehead on the floor!

Or what? You'll wound me?

I can blow you in half, Scagnetti, and you know it.

I never wounded anything in my life!

I got you locked right between the eyes!

I've had you locked from the jump, you phony!

You got me locked. Take your shot.

Okay, Jack, you win.

Oh, my God!

Oh, baby!

Ladies and gentlemen, this kiss has been a year in the coming.

They're doing what everyone said they'd never do again.

At this moment, they are the only two people on earth.

Shut up, Jack!

Losing your touch, Jack. I was out of shells.

You still like me now, Jack?

- What's this? - List of prisoners.

What the fuck do I want that for?! I asked for a list of hostages!

- How should I know? - Just get it!

Do I have to do everything?

All right.

Jesus Christ.

What are those guys right there?

Close 1, 2, 3.

- Still jammed open, sir. - Well, jam them shut!

- There's a fire! - I see the goddamn fire.

The psych unit looks like a zoo. All our informants are being tortured.

Hey, Mabel. Come here, look at this.

No!

- Warden? - Yes?

- What is it, Natapundi? - Napalatoni.

I don't care what your fucking name is!

Mickey and Mallory Knox are loose.

Scagnetti's dead!

They're live on network TV.

Live on network TV?

Jesus Harold Christ on a fucking rubber crutch!

Is this happening to me?

You fucking sick motherfuckers!

Come on.

Yeah, come on.

Come on.

Come on, Mickey. This way.

Who are you?

My name's Owen.

What do you want from us?

I want you to take me with you.

Where the hell are we?

It's a place I come to think when things get hectic.

Call them.

Let's go, Kavanaugh.

Follow me!

Now we're in B wing. Where we going, Owen?

Out. Through. Down.

Hold up!

Okay, Kavanaugh...

Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Wayne Gale!

Don't shoot! Wayne Gale!

Motherfucker! Ah!

How you doing, Wayne?

I'm fucking great!

- You got the feeling? - I'm alive for the first fucking time!

For the love, thanks to Mickey! Let's kill all these motherfuckers!

- Give me that. - Why?

You're not centered, Wayne.

Here, shoot with this.

Okay, let's go! Kavanaugh, stop slacking off!

End of the line. Drop him!

One move and he's dead!

He's already dead, dick weed!

You got shit! Fire!

Back off!

You shoot, I'll blast him. Back off!

Shut up, Gale, you prick!

Mickey, Mallory, just let me say--

Put your hand up.

You see!

- Fuck! - Now shut up!

Mickey, I made a place. Come, come.

Come on, move! Let's go, Mal.

Sixty seconds and I'm coming up!

Fuck!

What is your bloody problem? I was begging for you guys.

Think, think, think!

Fuck!

- Yes? - Think, think, think.

Hello, Margaret.

- How are you doing, Mal? - I'm all right.

You're doing good, baby.

I want you to know...

...no matter what happens...

...I love you.

- I love you more than I ever loved myself. - Blow it out your ass, Maggie.

I know that, Mickey.

- I'm never coming home. - Dinner's ready.

Don't you get it? I'm alive for the first fucking time in my life! I'm alive!

How'd you figure that out?

- Because I don't love you anymore. - Don't be stupid.

- I love Ming. - Ming? I knew it.

That's right, Ming is not a fucking restaurant.

I don't care! Take the rest of the money! It's all yours anyway!

And one more thing: Piss off, you cunt!

It's good to be with you, Wayne Gale. You do a lot of good for people.

The fucking joint's exploding, and you're diddling around with these two pubes!

- We have more important things to do! - These two die today! You hear me, Sparky?

I'll wipe that fucking scum off the face of the fucking earth...

...if it's the last fucking thing I do!

You know what I say?

I say...

...to hell with going back to our cells.

Let's go out there...

...and run down the stairs and go out in a hail of bullets.

And then we'll die.

Then we'll really be free.

That's poetry.

But we'll do that when all else fails.

- I just left her. - What do you mean?

That's right.

Put a bottle of Dom on ice. Get some ecstasy.

I'm gonna come over tonight, and put a hot pepper up your ass.

No, you're not.

- I love you, Ming. - Sorry, Charlie.

Ming? Ming!

Duncan, Duncan.

Hold this.

You married?

God, I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die.

That wasn't the question. Are you married?

Yes, I'm married.

Do you have children?

A boy and a girl.

I don't wanna die.

Mal, come here, please.

Sam, the only way we'll get out that front door...

...is if they don't wanna kill you two more than they wanna kill us.

Mr. Journalist!

Okay, hold that.

Duncan Homolka, Wayne Gale.

How are you?

You want reality? You got it.

My name is Wayne Gale!

I am the star of American Maniacs, watched by 40 million people a week!

I am a respected journalist, winner of the Ed R. Murrow and the Golden Globe award

...to name a few.

I've been shot! You're on camera!

We are live!

If anybody tries to fucks up our escape...

...I'll make it my life's mission to put Warden McClusky out of commission!

I will do exposé after exposé, revealing the inhumanity, brutality...

...and conditions that exist here!

You, back up! Back up!

My name is Wayne Gale! I'm the star of American Maniacs!

You are on camera! We are live!

Just how far do you think you're gonna get?

Out the front door.

That will never happen!

It is happening.

My name is Wayne Gale! I'm a friend of Bill Clinton's!

If anybody puts me in danger...

- You open that gate! - Open the gate!

My name is Wayne Gale! I am the star of American Maniacs!

I will personally hunt you down, blow the head off your fucking whore wife...

Don't disrespect my man!

...and plant your sick ass in the ground all by myself!

Another day, perhaps, but not today.

This is Wayne Gale, unfortunately no longer live.

I am wounded. All my crew is dead.

I have left my wife, and my girlfriend has left me.

Don't look that glum. That was good.

Mickey Knox's plan worked.

We walked out the door into my news van and made our getaway.

When we were followed by patrol cars...

...Mallory shot Deputy Sheriff Duncan Homolka...

...and tossed his body out.

Show them your ear.

Oh, my God, that is so gross.

Why helicopters were not deployed, I don't know.

My only thought is that it happened too fast for arrangements to be made.

We've pulled to the side of the road to do this interview.

Tensions run high as we--

We don't got all fucking day.

So without further ado: Mickey and Mallory.

So, Mallory, after Mickey's incredible rescue...

...what did you think next?

I was wondering how long it'd be...

until me and Mickey could be alone together, and if I could wait that long.

Did you have anything to do with the riot?

We didn't have nothing to do with that riot.

You know, that was...

Whatchamacallit?

- Fate? - Fate.

If they wanna say we masterminded the whole fucking thing, let them.

It's not like it's gonna keep us up at night and stuff.

But the truth is...

...it was...

...fate.

Yes. Fate it was. You saw it right here on American Maniacs.

You believe in reincarnation, Wayne?

Yes, I believe we've all lived many times. So, what's next for the Knoxes?

Well, I'm thinking we can lay in a big king-size bed...

...and sleep...

...for two days, and I've been thinking about motherhood.

So I think me and Mickey are gonna get started on that...

...as quickly as possible.

- Gotta go. - Wait.

How do you intend to disappear? You're the most famous couple in America.

There's the Underground Railroad, when during slave times--

Let me swing the camera around...

...and do my wrap-up, then we're off.

We're gonna do a wrap-up, all right.

But it won't be you staring in the camera, looking dumb and acting stupid.

You'll be staring down the barrels of our shotguns...

...and we're gonna be blowing your brains all over that tree.

Wait. Time. Cut, cut, cut!

It's a fucking joke, right?

Come on! Don't fucking shoot me!

During this escape, a bond developed between us!

Not really. You're scum, Wayne. You did it for ratings.

You don't give a shit about anybody except yourself.

That's why nobody gives a shit about you. That's why helicopters weren't deployed.

Wait a minute, you fucking hypocrite. What about the Indian?

You said you were done with killing! That love beats the demon!

You said that love beats the demon!

I am...

...and it will.

It's just that you're the last one.

No, don't kill me.

This is not about you, you egomaniac. I kind of like you.

But if we let you go, we'd be just like everybody else. Killing you...

...and what you represent is...

...a statement.

I'm not sure what it's saying...

...but, you know, Frankenstein killed Dr. Frankenstein.

Wayne.

Have some dignity.

All right. So I'm a parasite, so what?

Life is cruel, and no one said it'd be easy.

The day you two killed, your ass belonged to us!

To the public! To the media!

That's how it is! We are married, right?

The point is...

...what do we do next?

I say we do a Salman Rushdie-type thing.

Just books, talk shows. We lay low, we jump up, we bob and weave.

We get rid of them. We do Oprah, Donahue.

Do you have any idea how huge we could be?

Let's make a little music.

Wait, wait!

Don't Mickey and Mallory always leave someone alive to tell the tale?

- We are. Your camera. - Your camera.

Okay

I'm gonna miss him.

- Come on, let's go. - Okay, baby.

Can we hear him? I can't hear him. I'm not getting anything.

Oh, my God!

A bride and groom's wedding reception turned into a nightmare.

My dad...

People...

Because it would end in sex. That's all I thought about.

He punched me, he slapped me again.

I just wanna say, you know, can we...?

Ready?

Subtitles edited by OmegaDoom