Original subtitles

[♪ upbeat theme music playing]

- [glass shattering] - [♪ theme concludes]

[♪ soft music playing]

Ah, the universe.

I'm sick of it!

We know more about the most distant galaxies

than about this majestic ocean right here.

- [Leela] That's the Hudson River. - [Professor] Eh, the whuuh?

[Bender] Nature's trashcan.

[grunts] Nailed it!

It's high time we explored the oceans.

- [wrench clanking] - I just need to make a few

small modifications to the ship.

Nothing major.

I'll start with the modification nut.

[grunting] Oof.

And... done.

[ship horn blowing]

[♪ light tropical music playing]

♪ When laughs are hard to come by ♪

- [tentacle thuds] - ♪ Relax, just don't even try ♪

- [glass shattering] - [laughter]

♪ The laugh track ♪

♪ Indicates there's been a joke ♪

[audience laughing]

♪ The laugh track ♪

♪ Helps out the slower folk ♪

[audience laughing]

- ♪ Laughs ♪ - ♪ Amuse us ♪

- ♪ Laughs ♪ - ♪ Inspire us ♪

- ♪ Laughs ♪ - ♪ More contagious ♪

♪ Than the Norovirus ♪

♪ Turn up your knob ♪

♪ For laughs ♪

♪ Turn up your knob for laughs ♪

[audience laughing]

[Amy] Wow. The passenger manifest

reads like a who's who of B-list celebrities.

- More like B-minus. - [audience laughing]

No, B was about right.

Look! There's Monique and Boxy Robot

from that show people used to watch.

That's strange.

I thought Monique was dating famous acting robot Calculon.

Hm. He's not on the list,

but we do have a mysterious Elvis impersonator.

[♪ sneaky music playing]

Wow! He looks exactly like a real Elvis impersonator.

- [audience laughing] - Speaking of "wow,"

there's Florp, the famous comedian,

and his agent-slash-lover, Ivana Tenpercinski.

My secret dream was always to be a comedian,

but I was too scared the audience would get up and walk out.

Like that patient you declared dead.

[audience laughing]

And there's that famous magician, The Great Revealo.

He looks so sad.

I shall explain why,

from over there!

[smoke bomb exploding]

The smoke concealed my movements.

If you say so.

You see, I was engaged to my beautiful assistant,

but she died in a magic accident.

I was sawing her in half when suddenly, she passed away

from old age,

- and maybe a little bit of sawing. - [audience laughing]

I always had a thing for magicians.

Really?

I like magic, too.

Oh, I don't like magic. Blegh!

All that unnecessary hand motion.

[laughing] No. I'm just really into magicians.

[sighs]

[♪ upbeat rock 'n roll music playing]

"Jailhouse Rock," ma'am.

"Blue Suede Shoes" to you, sir.

I mean, what is the deal

with those people at the buffet? Know what I'm saying?

They're all like... [growling and grumbling]

- [group laughing] - [glass shattering]

[passenger] My hip!

Wonderful, Mr. Florp!

I'm a huge fan.

Yeah. Thanks, uh...? [awkward chuckle]

Dr. Zoidberg, your ship's doctor,

but more importantly, an aspiring standup

who could use some advice, maybe?

Advice? Sure.

The setup comes before the punchline,

and the paycheck comes before your ass walks on that stage.

- [shouting] - Oh-ho!

Worldly advice sweetened with a hilarious joke.

Thank you, friend.

[Florp screaming]

[Florp] You've been a great audience, good night!

- [water splashing] - [audience laughing]

Zoidberg, what have you done?

You've opened up a spot in tonight's big comedy show, that's what.

But my act is terrible.

I need a plan.

Think, you untalented, murderous bastard. Think!

[gasps] I know.

A laugh track machine!

Those make even the laziest comedy seem hilari-funny.

[audience laughing and clapping]

[♪ lighthearted suspenseful music playing]

Ooh. Oh, yeah.

Problems with the ladies?

Lay it on me, bro.

Confess to the Profess.

Leela's gaga over some magician.

It's like every time he shows up, he makes me disappear.

- [audience laughing] - My man,

you gotta fight magic with magic.

The love magic that's in your heart.

Dig? [clicking tongue]

- [gun fires] - [glass shattering]

- [audience laughing] - I'll put that on your tab.

[Scruffy grunting]

- [flames whooshing] - [coughing]

Why, if it isn't Chief Engineer Scruffy!

Doc, you gotta help me.

I've been vomitin' blood.

- [Scruffy coughing] - [audience laughing]

That's just Norovirus.

Everyone gets it on every cruise.

Now, move over. I got a comedy career to save.

You're a machine, right, Boiler?

- Yesss. - [steam hissing]

I suspected as much.

So, you can also work as a laugh track machine?

Boy, can I?

[multiple voices laughing]

- You're hired! - [steam hissing]

[Scruffy groaning]

[♪ lighthearted music playing]

Oh, Boxy, I'm ready to do it with you.

- [Boxy beeping] - Aha!

"Aha," what, Mr. Presley?

- Guess again. - [♪ dramatic sting]

King of rock 'n roll?

Guess a third time.

[♪ dramatic sting]

I don't suppose you could sing "Heartbreak Hotel"?

- Oh, for the love of... - [fabric ripping]

[♪ dramatic sting]

[gasps] Calculon!

What a shame. You just missed Elvis.

You cheated on me with this clunky Casanova?

Why?

- And whither?! - [glass shattering]

I never told you this, Calculon,

but Boxy and I are cousins.

[♪ intense dramatic sting]

Oh, right.

You did tell me, but I'd forgotten.

We've come to throw our late grandmother's remains into the ocean.

She was a wine bucket bot.

Her dying wish was that we share the bottle

she'd spent her life chilling.

- Oops. Lucky for her, she's dead. - [audience laughing]

Monique, I've been such a fool.

Can you ever... marry me?

Oh, Calculon! Yes!

Yes with a billion zeroes after it.

- [♪ soft romantic music playing] - [lips clanging]

[Monique groaning]

- [Boxy beeps] - [audience laughing]

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[paper rustling]

Oh! I can't believe Florp fell overboard

the very minute the cruise started.

It happens a lot.

We navigate home by the trail of floating bodies.

[boiler laughing in multiple voices]

Oh, hiya, folks.

Sorry Florp couldn't make it tonight.

He had a death in the family.

His own!

And joke.

[boiler laughing in multiple voices]

[Ivana sobbing]

I'll never laugh again.

So, these two items walk into a bar

and the punchline says, "You guys are nuts."

And then, the setup goes,

"They were a cashew and a pistachio."

[boiler laughing in multiple voices]

And joke!

Ugh, this act is a total train wreck.

Or I guess I should say, shipwreck.

- [ship horn blares] - [♪ intense dramatic music playing]

[raucous audience laughter]

[♪ light, upbeat music playing]

Leela, I know you like magicians,

so I worked up a private show just for you.

- [sniffing] What smells? - Oh, the hat, sorry.

I borrowed it from The Great Revealo.

In the depths of his sorrow, he forgot to feed his rabbit.

- [bones clattering] - [audience laughing]

And now, young lady, if you'll step up on stage.

Fry, please. You're never going to--

Pesto al dente.

[♪ soft, ethereal music playing]

[gasps] I can't believe it.

This is the first time I've actually been amazed

by a magic trick.

For you, Leela, I'd pull a rabbit out of anything.

- [lips smacking] - [audience swooning]

- But how did you do this? - Easy.

Electromagnets. I found them in the ship's radar.

[electricity zapping]

What?!

You disabled the radar?

- [hologram zapping] - Oh no, we're off course!

We're in the Antarctic instead of the Caribbean.

Ta-da!

- [♪ intense dramatic music playing] - [ship crashing]

- [glass shattering] - [Zoidberg grunting]

Oy! Ah! Huh?

Oy, I broke all my tuchuses!

[Ivana laughing]

Oh, somehow, Dr. Zoidberg, you made me laugh again.

Let me be your agent and lover.

I want 10% of your income and 90% of your love.

Go 8% on income, and you can have 93% of my love.

Deal.

- [♪ soft, romantic music playing] - [couple moaning]

[boiler laughing in multiple voices]

[boiler screaming in multiple voices]

[dramatic narrator] The wreck set off a rare ice fire.

And as Antarctica melted, sea levels rose catastrophically

until virtually all land was underwater.

It became clear from my tone of voice that things were grim.

But a few hardy survivors lived on

in a brutal, makeshift existence known as...

- [water splashing] - Wetterworld.

[♪ slow, dramatic music playing]

[Amy] Oh, no!

The marauders are gaining on us!

- [guns firing] - [Roberto] Ha-haw!

They're after our food!

Protect the all-you-can-eat buffet with your lives.

Give us the whatchamacallit!

Macaroni salad.

Or we'll cut off your kajiggers!

Heads.

Ow! My kajigger!

Hey, hand me that whisk, will you?

Don't fire until you see the whites of their eggs.

- [slingshot sproings] - Ow!

[Amy grunting]

- [metal clanging] - [rope creaking]

[group shrieking]

[Professor] Oh!

Not good!

- Hi-ya! - [engine rumbling]

Hello.

- [jet skis exploding] - They exploded!

[group laughing and cheering]

You saved us, Leela.

Well, some of us.

You're the best captain in the whole Freeboater Alliance.

I just hope the bloodshed will impress my boss,

Lord Mombatten.

I'm up for that big promotion to Chief Warlord.

Looks like we just have one sail down.

That's not a sail!

It's not? Then what is it?

[grunts]

Uh, ta-da!

[table crashing]

- [group gasping] - [♪ dramatic music playing]

We can still save the carving station!

[shark chomping]

Or not.

[gasps] Beer.

Poseidon has provided!

[cork popping]

Aw, man, this bottle's all full of message.

We're gonna starve to death.

There's no food left in the entire world.

And my boss is coming to dinner?

[audience gasping, laughing]

Boss ahoy!

What am I gonna do?

I'll never get promoted if I can't serve a big dinner.

[audience laughing]

Problem solved. We'll cook the Professor.

He's conveniently dead.

No, just napping face down.

But I dreamed up an idea.

If there was some way to descend

to the ruins of the old world,

we might find some canned or waterlogged food.

I've got it. I'll evolve gills!

That would take millions of years for a stupid mammal like you.

No, we need a better idea.

And I have one,

because I'm a professor!

[welder zapping]

There! I've built a bathysphere.

Oh yeah, baby!

Bite my glass-bottom ass.

[glass clinking]

[♪ slow, suspenseful music playing]

[both] Whoa.

Whoa.

[Professor] Ah, yes. Old New New York.

The current has brought us to Planet Express

and its trove of snack foods.

[metallic thudding]

One of us will have to make the perilous journey to the pantry,

and the other one of us is me.

Yeah. Actually, my hair just dried, so I--

- [garbling] - [mask snapping]

Oh, don't worry.

As long as you're breathing through this flimsy hose,

you won't die immediately.

[♪ slow, dramatic music playing]

[gasps] Jackpot!

- [whirring] - Oops, wrong button.

- [hose snapping] - [gurgled screaming]

♪

[bubbles popping]

- Death bubbles. Not a good sign. - [ship horn honking]

- And my boss is here? - [ship horn honking]

[Leela] It's Lord Mombatten,

and we have nothing to serve for dinner.

- [water splashing] - [♪ triumphant music playing]

Did someone say "food"?

No, I said "dinner."

[gasps] Fry! You're alive!

Yes. Thank you for noticing.

But more importantly,

I come bearing forgotten delicacies of old Earth.

[♪ dramatic, theatrical music playing]

Canned onions?

Hey, it's the last food in the world.

- There's a reason for that. - [Bender grunting]

I still don't understand how you survived.

You went 20 minutes without air.

I evolved gills. See?

[floppy-lipped] I know you said it was impossible,

but sometimes science happens if you just have faith.

- [pan clanks] - [flames whooshing]

You better use all the spices you've got, Ensign.

Spices? We're in the middle of the ocean, woman!

Holding out on me, eh? Mutiny!

- [tape ripping] - [Hermes screaming]

[audience laughing]

Ooh, this can looks a bit swollen.

Could be botulism.

What, are we trying for a Michelin Star?

Cook it!

- [♪ dramatic, suspenseful music playing] - [boat engine rumbling]

[Amy shrieks]

Lord Mombatten.

We're so glad you could join us for dinner.

I don't care if you're glad or dead.

I just want the dinner.

[pan sizzling]

Mm. [chuckles] Mm!

This onion curry is delicious,

and it's smoothing my frown lines, for some reason.

Thank you, Captain Leela.

You know, I've been considering you for a big promotion to--

- [choking and gagging] - Chief Warlord?

- A big promo-- [choking] - I already know that part.

[continues choking and gagging]

Oh, no. I killed her!

Now, she'll never promote me.

On the bright side, we can eat her.

- Anyone hungry for a Momwich? - [audience laughing]

When I said we were having my boss for dinner,

this isn't what I meant.

[audience laughing]

Well, everything worked out fine,

except there's still a lot of gas shooting outta my hose.

- [hose hissing] - [group shrieking]

[flames whooshing]

Don't panic.

- [ship exploding] - [water bubbling]

[pirate] Don't panic!

[ships exploding]

Whoa. That was the entire human race.

So, I finally killed all humans?

Ah, check that off the bucket list.

Well, I guess that makes you Chief Warlord, Leela.

Where to?

Legends speak of a tiny speck of land that still exists,

and there's only one map.

[laughing] I got it on spring break.

Looks like it'll be about a three-hour tour.

- [thunder crashing] - [♪ lighthearted music playing]

- [thunder crashing] - [shrieking]

[shrieking continues]

[group grumbling]

What's this weird water we're sitting on?

[Bender gulping]

[gagging, spitting]

It's not water, it's the other thing.

Land!

We made it to dry land.

[group cheering]

[Zoidberg] Yum, sand fleas.

Wait. How did a 5,000-foot glacier melt

and raise sea level by 29,000 feet?

- Science! - 'Kay.

So, who are we? And how'd we get here?

I don't remember.

We must have all hit our heads on that log

- with seven dents in it. - [audience laughing]

If only there were a quick, fun explanation

we could hum along to.

- [♪ lighthearted music playing] - [thunder crashing]

♪ The premise started getting rough ♪

♪ The writers hit the sauce ♪

♪ If not for a song that explained it all ♪

♪ The viewer would be lost ♪

Okay. Listen carefully.

♪ With Phil Again ♪

♪ And his Cyclops friend ♪

♪ The Shmillionaire and her beautiful Smizmar ♪

♪ The TV trope ♪

♪ Professor Dope ♪

♪ Simple farm girl Mary-Jane ♪

♪ And last and least, the rest ♪

The rest? Bite my rusty metal ass!

[♪ lighthearted music playing]

Well, that explains everything,

except those jaunty outfits we were wearing.

We must have gotten them off those washed-up corpses.

Ooh!

It's like a cool thrift store

that uses bones instead of hangers.

[audience laughing]

- [flies buzzing] - Some of us are still alive.

Alive and ravishing, darling.

[snobbishly] I say, it's my Smizmar, Kiffy.

I don't suppose you saw any butlers in that pile?

Oh, plenty.

But they're all either dead or insubordinate.

- [audience laughing] - [♪ lighthearted music playing]

Hmm. I'll make the back door out of bamboo.

We're all out of human femurs.

[audience laughing]

Is there anything better than looking down on the riff-raff?

Have you tried urinating?

- [glasses clinking] - [audience laughing]

Well, let's search for food

before we starve to death in agony.

Uh, maybe we should have done that first.

- [audience laughing] - Come on, little buddy.

You can't make me. You can't make--

[shrieking and screaming] Ooh! Ow, ow, ow!

[♪ lighthearted music playing]

Okay, we searched the island.

I will now read the list of all the food we found.

One coconut.

[audience laughing]

- [coconut thuds] - Ow!

Castaways, I'm afraid there's only one option.

We'll have to eat each other one by one.

[♪ slow, dramatic music playing]

I'll go dress for dinner. What should I wear?

A dinner jacket, or herbs and butter?

[audience laughing and applauding]

- [coconut thuds] - Ow!

Two coconuts.

[audience booing]

- [coconut thuds] - Ow!

[♪ lighthearted music playing]

[group moaning and chewing]

[Amy belches]

Zoidberg was a good friend.

I'll always remember his blood-curdling screams

as we lowered him into the pot.

[audience laughing]

If I heard the lyrics correctly, I'm a simple farm girl.

But sometimes I wonder if anyone else is alive

on this big ol' wet planet.

There's only one way to find out.

Really? That's one more

- than I thought there was. - [audience laughing]

I'm fairly certain I can make a radio

out of this junk heap.

Uh, I have a name.

It's "The Rest."

- [metallic squeaking] - And... done!

- Hey! - Mayday! Mayday!

Does anyone read me? Over.

- [radio static] - [Zapp Brannigan] I read you.

This is famous astronaut Zapp Brannigan,

talk-jaculating from orbit.

It worked!

[Zapp] After years in space,

what a relief to hear a gross old man's voice.

Prepare for landing and the woodsy aroma

of Paco Rabanne.

[audience laughing]

Da plane! Da plane! [groans]

[splashing]

[hatch creaking]

[group cheering]

- [group applauding] - Thank you. Thank you.

I don't deserve this.

I deserve much more.

- [♪ sultry music playing] - So, can you save us, big boy?

Yes.

Well, one of you anyway.

It's an intimate space vehicle for two.

Deciding who to save sounds so difficult.

Oops! I accidentally bribed you

with a gold timepiece full of cash.

[audience laughing]

Zapp Brannigan can't be bribed.

I'm looking for meaningful human companionship.

Perhaps in those bushes over there.

[shudders] The very idea!

I could never sleep with someone who has so little respect for my money.

[audience laughing]

Rest assured, I'll make my choice

via a fair and demographic process.

A beauty contest.

- [♪ lighthearted music playing] - [audience laughing]

You mind kicking those back to me, soldier?

- [audience laughing] - [♪ lighthearted music playing]

I have made my decision, and it wasn't easy,

because you're all gorgeous.

And because my contacts burned up on reentry.

[audience laughing]

I choose you!

Me?

Oh my, oh dear.

- No. [nervous muttering] - [alarm chirping]

[♪ soft music playing]

[rocket zooming]

[water splashing]

[hatch creaking]

There was nowhere to land!

The entire Earth is covered with water.

Duh! The ice caps melted five years ago.

Everybody knows that.

Not me. I've been in orbit for six years,

and the windows were smeared with chimp remains.

Ugh.

Then, I guess this is it.

All that humanity built, gone.

The end of love.

The end of laughter.

[audience laughing]

The end of civilization.

[♪ slow, somber music playing]

[waves lapping]

[♪ soft, triumphant music playing]

[Professor] We were wrong!

Civilization was reborn.

And I regenerated as a symbol of hope or something.

Everything's just like it was before.

Except now, we know a lot more about the ocean.

Indeed.

Or as we now call it, the world.

[audience laughing and applauding]

♪