Original subtitles

(alarm ringing)

("Worst Year of my Life, Again! Theme")

♫ I'm amazed at the things that you say

♫ I'd heard it all before, just another day

♫ January, February, all the same

♫ March, April, May's coming back again

♫ Oh why

♫ 'Cause it's the Worst Year of My Life Again

♫ It's looped around and pulled me back in

♫ Now yesterday has come again, oh no

♫ Yeah yeah yeah yeah

♫ The Worst Year Of My Life, Again!

(alarm buzzing)

(gentle music)

- Too slow, chin face.

- You all pumped for your

big cross country race today, slug?

- Cross country?

That's my boy.

- It's really not a big deal.

It's just a couple of guys jogging.

I want to save my energy for soccer.

- Rubbish.

Think of it as training.

Win at cross country will prep you for a great soccer game.

- It's not about winning, it's about having a go.

- Having a go and winning.

Winners are grinners.

- What are you up to this afternoon, love?

- Going to the tip with a box of waste.

- Toxic waste?

- Box of waste from the garden clean up.

I'm taking it to the tip.

Go for gold, son.

You know what to do, win, win, win.

- Who's too slow now, slug?

(tooth cracks)

- Ow, my filling, I lost my filling.

- You gotta watch those nut bars.

- You want a lift?

- Uh, no thanks, walking's good.

It's a good warm up for the race.

- It's a fine line.

You don't want to waste any of that vital energy.

Cross country's all about stamina, energy stores.

What's that?

- Uh, it's an ankle brace.

- You're not injured, are you?

- No, not yet, but you can never be too careful,

especially when you want to win, win, win!

- That's my boy.

(school bell rings)

- Brilliant, what did you do?

- Nothing, it's pretend.

It's a pretend injury.

- Oh no, what happened?

- I jumped over a wall.

- Poor Alex, pretend injuries are the worst.

- Cross country running is the pits.

It's just jogging and lots of it.

- Yeah, you can hang with me.

The girls cross country was yesterday.

And you're right, Alex, it was a lot of jogging.

- Who won?

- Nicola Grey.

She is deceptively streamlined.

- Oh yeah, I'm gonna go congratulate her.

- No, you shouldn't.

(shouting)

- King.

- You can't hit me, I've got an accident.

- Bag, juice, bag.

(laughing)

- [Howe] Nice one, mate.

- Oh, uh, hey, Nicola.

Congrats on the race.

- [Classmate] Loser. - Uh, yeah.

- Congrats on getting juiced.

- Ugh.

- Smooth, Alex.

Real smooth.

- What's this?

- It's a new trophy for cross country.

- And the winner of the boys' race goes here

with his photo right next to Nicola's.

- I suppose so.

- Side by side, immortalised together for all of eternity.

You know, I love cross country.

It'll prep me for a good soccer match.

- [Alex] Lost property.

- Ugh, this is disgusting.

Why didn't you bring your own gym stuff?

- Because I wasn't going to run.

Anything in there?

- Why don't you just run in your school uniform?

- 'Cause Norris will never let me, keep looking.

- All this to get a silly, sweaty-faced photo

next to some girl.

- Why else would you wanna win stupid cross country?

- Have you trained?

- Of course he hasn't.

- Don't worry, Alex, I'll be your coach.

I'll ride my bike alongside you, shouting helpful things.

- Like what?

- Keep running.

- Why would he stop running?

- He won't, he'll have me motivating him.

- I don't need motivation.

- Oh score.

- No, no, there has to be something else.

(laughing)

- [Girl] Oh my god, Louisa, do you see this?

It is so embarrassing.

(laughing)

- Boys, shut up.

You all know the course, same as always,

but because so many of you are lazy cheats,

I've cheat-proofed the race.

I've set up three checkpoints, here, here and here.

You must get a token at each of these checkpoints.

You cannot win the race unless you have all three tokens.

- [Nicola] Troy will beat everyone.

- [Mr. Norris] Right, turning left out of the school gate,

you run past the carpark then onto Watson Road.

It goes all the way up to the park.

Do not go through the park, go around the park

- He's the one to beat.

- Norris?

- Troy.

No way I'm letting his sweaty face go up next to Nicola.

No way.

(grunting)

- Watch it.

- Four more blocks until you reach checkpoint one.

Don't, I repeat, do not

(voice fades)

Okay, on your marks,

get set, go, go.

- Oh, cripe.

(mellow rock music)

- Shortcuts!

- Cheat cut.

- So much for Norris' cheat-proofing.

- Keep running.

See, he stopped already, he does need me.

- I've stopped because there's no point even racing.

No matter what I do, they're still going to win.

- Unless you cheat as well.

Fight fire with fire, strike while the iron's hot,

what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

- No.

- Look, Alex, you could not cheat

and that would mean the meatheads

would end up in the trophy cabinet

with Nicola for all eternity, so.

- I can't let that happen to Nicola.

- You're cheating to save Nicola?

- Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

- So I figure that if we catch the number 605

that that will drop us off just before the first checkpoint.

- You were planning to cheat all along.

- No.

- Then why do you have the bus timetable in your gym shorts?

- Do you really want to get started on my gym shorts?

- Right, let's go.

- Start running.

Stop getting on the bus.

Stop sitting on the bus.

Stop travelling on the bus.

- Oh look.

- Get down, idiot, don't let them see us.

Only two more stops and we'll be at the first checkpoint,

might even be ahead of pack for an hour.

Oh.

- What, what is it? - Shh.

- Why can't I see Dr. Chadwick?

- He's on leave, but Dr. Gillick is really nice.

Looks a bit like George Clooney.

Oh you know, sort of a dentistry George Clooney.

- Dr. Gillick looks nothing like Clooney.

He's got a great big parrot nose.

- Shh.

- I look like Clooney.

You know what, I'm gonna sort this out, use my charm.

- No, don't.

Then they'll know I was cheating.

Dad'll blow his top.

We just have to wait here until they get off.

Oh no, it's the first checkpoint.

- Nice, really great.

- How is this my fault?

You're the one that wanted to take the bus.

- Look.

Lousy cheats.

(funky music)

- Are they ever getting off?

Where is this stupid Clooney dentist, Mongolia?

(chatting)

- [Simon] Four stops past our checkpoint.

- I can count, but if we sprint back to the checkpoint

then grab a bus, we're still in this.

We can still win the race.

- Tickets please.

- We did have tickets, but they were only for three stops

then we had to stay on for four because my sister

got on and then she had a filling and then she had to--

- Fare evading is no laughing matter.

You will be fined on the of course of clause 27,

tense C, subjection three, paragraph eight

of the Public Transport Act.

- Can't we just pay you now?

- Are you attempting to bribe an officer

of the Public Transport Authority?

- No.

- Good, so you two fare-dodgers won't mind

accompanying me back to the depot then.

- But we're in a cross country race.

- On a bus?

Come on.

- He would've been one of the first through.

- I'm telling you, Alex hasn't been past my checkpoint.

Everyone else has.

Well.

- Keep running.

You never went to the first checkpoint.

You two aren't very good at cheating.

- We've blown the stupid race.

All I want is for Nicola to notice me

in a way that doesn't involve public humiliation.

One lousy little photo could've changed everything.

She might've seen it and

But what do I get?

I get to be dressed like the human scab.

I get to come in last and see some

other sweaty-faced photo next to Nicola.

- What's he doing here?

- We've ended up right near the school

ahead of Troy and all the others, this is excellent.

We don't have the stupid checkpoint tokens.

- They're not stupid, they're very practical and beautiful.

- What are you talking about?

- Are they?

- I got them when I ran yesterday, aren't they pretty?

- I saw them first.

- [Maddy] Stop running, they're mine!

- [Simon] Give them to me, they're mine.

- Mine, come back!

- Let go.

- Yeah.

(clapping)

- Right, now-a two boys and only one set of tokens.

Detention for the both of you from now

until the end of the turn.

- Shortcuts are supposed to be short, idiot.

Less running, less work.

Parker, Howe, detention for the rest of the turn.

- Ha.

- [Maddy] Thank you.

- [Nicola] You did so well.

- Want to take a photo?

- Okay.

(clock ticking)

(alarm buzzing)

(bright music)

- Too slow, slug.

- You know what, chin face, you can have it

'cause you need all the brain food you can get.

- Hey dad, you should wish Alex luck.

He's got his big cross country race today.

- I sure have.

- Alex doesn't need luck.

We've been out training every morning this month.

You're gonna win it, aren't you, champ?

- That's the plan.

- Now, don't take it too seriously, Alex.

It's not just about winning, it's about having a go--

- Winners are grinners.

- That's by boy, you know what to do.

- [Together] Win, win, win.

- You want a lift?

- Love one.

Gotta save my vital energy for the race.

- Cross country's all about stamina

- And energy stores.

- That's my boy, hop in.

Let's do this.

Keys.

(soft rock music)

Now remember, no running before the race, win, win, win.

(screaming)

- Oh, I am so sorry, sir, I didn't see you there.

- Don't touch me, King!

You've done more than enough already.

- You should probably go see the school nurse, sir.

- You should probably go to detention

for the rest of the turn.

- Hang on, so you're telling me

that I didn't win last time 'round.

- Troy won.

- No way.

- For the rest of last year,

every time I walk past this stupid cabinet,

I had to look at him and Nicola

immortalised together for all of eternity.

- It's not exactly eternity, is it?

I mean, it's not there now.

- Sometimes you gotta love the loop year thing.

Right, so how you gonna cheat this time 'round?

- I'm not.

I've been training on the actual course

and I'm sticking to it.

I'm gonna win it for real on my own.

- No, really, what's the plan?

- That is the plan.

Last time I cheated and the universe punished me.

- Keep running.

- Helmet?

- I'm his coach, that's what I do.

- She's really good at it.

- Keep running.

- Yeah, thanks, that is some really handy advice.

- Thanks to her, we've gotten my time down to 42 minutes.

- That's two minutes under what Troy did last time.

- Better congratulate Nicola.

Oy, Nicola.

- What are you doing?

You don't call for Nicola to come to you, you go to her.

Everybody, everybody knows that.

- Oh please, in a few hours,

we're gonna be trophy buddies, practically equals.

- [Boy] You do this to me everyday, guys.

- Parker!

- Nicola, sorry, it wasn't my fault--

- Loren,

bag.

- Do I have to? - Bag!

- Juice.

Did you beckon me?

- I, um, yeah, I wanted to say congratulations on the race.

- Thanks.

Great photo, isn't it?

- Yeah.

Yeah, no, it looks just like you.

- Looks just like you.

Just like, seriously?

- Yep.

- Real smooth, Alex, real smooth.

(soft rock music)

- Just started training?

- You wish, I've been training a week.

- Only a week.

Oh well, it's not all about winning.

It's about having fun, right, mate?

- Right, shut up.

You want to know why we're starting 30 minutes late?

It's because some of us had to get our noses fixed

after being assaulted by bag-wielding hooligans.

No naming names, King.

Now, you all know the course,

but, because so many of you are lazy cheats,

I've cheat-proofed the race,

so I've set up three checkpoints, here, here and here.

You must get a token at each of these checkpoints.

You cannot win the race unless you have all three tokens.

Turning left outside the school gates

and then you go all the way down, just follow the course.

Okay, on your marks, get set

(air horn sounds)

Go, go, go, go!

- Shortcut.

- Cheat cut.

- But the meatheads will win.

- Na-a, Troy's the one to beat.

- Keep running, you can do it, Alex, keep going.

Simon.

- Yeah, you go on alright while I just have a bit of a

bit of a cheeky stretch.

- [Alex] Alright then. - Yeah.

- Token?

(grunts)

- Yeah.

- Oh, you got a little something, just

just something there, just.

- Detour? There was no detour last time.

- The race started 30 minutes late, Alex.

You've changed the timeline.

- I hate it when I do that.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, excuse me, what's happened here?

- The road's closed, you can't come through.

A broken water main.

- Can I please just go through?

I don't care if my feet get wet.

- I require you to follow the detour signage

in accordance with clause 27-3, paragraph 10CC-U2

of the Public Safety Act.

Now, what part of detour don't you understand?

- I have to stick to this course,

it's what I was meant to do last time.

- And Troy's getting ahead, way ahead.

Alright, rehydrate, reenergize, regroup.

We'll think of something.

Keep up your energy.

- Win, win, woah.

- My shoes!

- What's all that?

- It's a bunch of waste.

- Toxic waste?

(tense music)

- No, this is all just a big misunderstanding.

This is just garden clippings and worm wee, ya know?

I'm in a race, surely you can let me go.

Can't I pay a fine or something?

- Are you attempting to bribe

an officer of the Fire Brigade?

- No. - Back.

Okay, let him have it.

Missed a bit.

You've got the all clear.

Looks like it was indeed worm urine.

Another pretend emergency.

- Pretend emergencies are the worst.

- Go on, get out of here.

- Been an hour.

Troy will have finished by now,

everyone will have finished by now.

- Sorry you didn't win, Alex,

but at least you didn't cheat or steal my ribbons yet.

- I'm not going to steal your ribbons.

What's the point?

Troy's the winner again.

Troy's trophy buddies with Nicola again.

Troy's gonna end up dating Nicola--

- Alex, Troy won a race not a girl.

- Yeah, but this is how it started last time.

They got all close over this

and then by the end of the holidays, what?

- You were cheating.

Even though you ran fair and square,

you were still trying to cheat at winning Nicola.

You can't use the loop year like that, it's wrong.

- Know what?

You're right.

I was being a cheater, but not now, I trained for this.

- Keep running.

- Keep cycling, go.

(upbeat music)

- The magic word?

- Please.

- [Maddy] Keep running, Alex.

- Yes.

Yes!

- Well done, King, you've come second.

- What?

- Don't get cocky.

At one hour and 53 minutes,

it's the slowest second in school history

and it's certainly not getting you out of detention.

- But everyone else?

- Nobody else got more than a single ribbon.

Came in babbling on about detours and leaky pipes.

They're all a bunch of cheaters if you ask me.

A bunch of cheaters!

Go home, go on, get!

- Everyone got lost.

- Bunch of lemmings they were.

- Cute and furry?

- No, stupid and last.

- Then who won the race?

It was Troy, wasn't it?

Then who?

- He was so slow that the detour was gone.

(upbeat music)

What are you so happy about?

You didn't win.

- But I didn't lose either.

- You're right, Alex, runner up takes talent.

It's winning once removed.

- So you lost.

(upbeat music)

- [Alex] Oh man, I gotta go see Dr. Gillick.

- [Maddy] Who?

- [Alex] You know? The dentist

that looks like George Clooney.

- [Maddy] Oy, I think he looks more like a parrot.

- [Simon] Thank you.

- [Maddy] And you look more like George Clooney.

- [Simon And Alex] Thanks.

("Worst Year of my Life, Again! Theme")