Original subtitles

(alarm clock)

(upbeat music)

- [Singer] I'm amazed at the things that you say.

I've heard it all before, just another day.

January, February, all the same.

March, April, May's coming back again.

Oh, why?

Because it's the worst year of my life again,

it's looked around and called me back in.

Now yesterday has come again, oh no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

the worst year of my life again.

(upbeat music)

- What's happened to the alarms?

Sam, wake up!

Alex, the power's off; none of the alarms have gone off!

You're gonna be late for school!

- Norris; oh no!

(upbeat music)

(departing bus)

(upbeat music)

- Nice of you to join us, King.

I can't wait to hear your excuse for being late this time.

- Late?

I'm not late, I've been here the whole time.

- Really?

Well, perhaps you'd like to repeat the announcement

I made at the start of class then?

- Um, we're gonna have a maths test?

- No!

I said the art teacher's off sick, so you will

be back with me this afternoon.

But a maths test, you say?

Um, not a bad idea.

I think we'll have one straight after lunch.

(students groaning)

And, as an added bonus, anyone that gets under 50%

can join me in holiday classes.

Very good idea; thank you, Mr. King.

(solemn music)

- A maths test, sir; idiot!

- Shut up!

This is your fault.

What is this supposed to be?

- It's painting, it's obviously painting.

- [Librarian] Sshhh.

- That's not painting, this is painting.

- That's conducting.

- That's not conducting.

- Sshhh.

- It's only a practise test.

Supposing we nick the answer sheets.

Norris keeps them in his cupboard.

- No cheating, OK?

Don't you think we're in enough trouble already?

- I cheat all the time and never get caught.

- You cheat?

How?

- Whenever I'm taught something in class,

I secretly remember it.

- OK!

No cheating, all we have to do is learn a term's

worth of maths in one lunch hour.

What's a trapezium?

- It's a Russian acrobat.

- And why would a Russian acrobat be in my maths book?

- Will you be quiet!

I won't tell you again.

- Who are we kidding?

Maths in an hour; it's not possible.

- Master maths in an hour.

- Give me it!

- I saw it first.

- Well, actually, Maddy saw it first,

and she's closer to me.

- And Maddy's my best friend, so that's why she.

- Quiet!

That's it, the three of you out!

Now!

- Can I borrow this?

Nice going, well done.

Now what are we going to do?

- Now we fail the maths test and spend our entire

holidays with Norris.

Oh no, I feel sick.

- You do look sort of pale and pasty and clammy and dry.

- He always looks like that.

- Do you think we should take him to the sick bay?

- Might as well; half the class wants to beat him up,

he'll probably eventually end up there anyway.

- I could get a sick note.

- Get sent home.

- I do have a little um-hmm in my throat.

- I'm starting to get a little of it myself.

- We can't both be sick, that looks too sus.

- One could get away with it; two, no chance.

(rockabilly music)

- You broke my wombat!

- King, loser, enjoy the maths test.

We're off home, sick notes.

- Yeah, joy, sick notes!

- But we were gonna do that.

- Tough luck, King.

If I wasn't so injured, I'd give you a punch

for getting us the test in the first place.

- I'll do it!

- Hell no!

- What?

- You really are gonna beat us up after school, aren't you?

- No, King, we're not.

We're gonna beat you up now.

First you get us a test.

Then you lose us our sick notes.

You two are toast.

- Well, technically, both of those things were Alex, so.

- Shut up!

- I am not spending my school holidays stuck with Norris.

- Yeah, me neither.

Mum was meant to be taking me to that petting zoo.

They've got a pony!

- Sorry.

What are you gonna do about it, King?

- There's nothing I can do.

- We could always nick the answer sheet.

- No way!

OK, the coast is clear.

You go get the answer sheets, I'll be lookout.

- I don't think so.

You go get the answer sheets and I'll be lookout.

- Why should I have to do it; this was your idea.

- Exactly!

I'm the brains of the operation, you're the feet.

- I don't think you should be doing this, Alex.

- We're not really ill, Maddy.

- Then why is Simon shaking?

- I'm not.

But sick or not, we'll both be needing an ambulance

if one of us doesn't go get those papers.

- All right, fine; rock, paper, scissors.

- OK.

- What is that?

- That is dynamite; beats paper.

Actually, it pretty much beats everything; it's dynamite.

- He's right, Alex; dynamite would definitely beat paper.

- All right, fine.

I'll do it.

But you keep watch.

Both of you.

(rockabilly music)

- There, see?

- No, I think Alex is right, that's not painting.

Painting would be more like this.

- No, no, that's ridiculous.

It looks like you are shaving a cat.

OK, look.

This is painting, see?

Do you see the difference?

- What would shaving a cat be?

- I don't know, something like mrow, mrow, whatchew.

Vvrrr, mrow, vvrrr, vvrrr, vvrrr.

- Should I even ask?

Or will the answer be as stupid as I suspect?

- We.

- We.

- I thought as much.

(class bell)

- Isn't it going to be hard for Alex

to get those papers out while Mr. Norris is in there?

- Do you think?

Come on.

- All right, shut up.

I've got a lovely big pile of test papers for you

in my cupboard.

The sooner you all sit down, the sooner I can fetch

them for you.

- Oh, sir, I don't have a pen.

- I've got some spares in the cupboard.

- Or a ruler.

- In the cupboard!

- Or a ... football.

- Will you be needing a football for this test, Kent?

- I don't know sir, I haven't seen it yet.

- No; sit down.

- I haven't got a football either.

- Right, Birch, Parker, Howe.

Kent, David.

Carlisle.

OK, get to work!

Right, shut up!

Somebody in this room better have a good explanation

for what this was doing out there.

Hmmm; nobody?

Because if I don't find out who.

What about you, King?

Any idea?

- No sir.

- No?

Are you sure?

Well, King?

- I've been here the whole time.

(upbeat music)

- Alex, the power's off; none of the alarms have gone off!

Calicat!

- Morning.

- So, there definitely won't be a test this time.

- Nope, I'm not late, which means I won't get caught

by Norris sneaking into class, which means that we won't

have the conversation that gives him the idea

in the first place.

- So we won't need this then.

- Where did you get the answer sheet?

- I nicked it out of his cupboard yesterday.

Well, you know, you've gone on and on about

holiday classes and how awful they've been.

I figured I'd do a preemptive strike.

- The universe isn't going to like this, is it?

- Probably not.

- You are putting it back?

Why, what's the point?

What if there's a test next week instead?

- Simon, you know how this loopy stuff works by now,

you can't tempt fate.

- He's right.

- So just keep watch, properly this time,

and don't mime shaving a cat.

- Why would I do that?

- I have no idea, but that was your excuse

for blowing it last time.

Stay alert, and if Norris comes,

make a noise or something.

- So what noise does he expect us to make?

- We could do a siren beetle.

- How do they go?

- Sort of whoop whoop kkk kkk kkk.

- Brilliant.

What's a cat got to do with anything?

- [Maddy] Well, it had to do with shaving the cat.

- [Simon] I know we're not supposed to name names,

but I definitely think this is.

I'm just saying that if I was going to mime

shaving a cat, probably do it better than you.

Where's Alex, he should be out by now?

- Whoop whoop kkk kkk kkk.

- Well?

- I am, I was looking for some marked test papers.

- [Norris] Really?

- Yeah, I really do like the maths this term,

and I thought I might do some extra study.

- You don't say.

(class bell)

Go and sit down, King.

- Sorry.

- Thank you.

- Right, shut up!

The art teacher is off sick today.

- Is it contagious?

- I highly doubt it, Kent!

But it does mean you are all back with me this afternoon.

And as King here has just pointed out,

I have a lovely big pile of test papers in

my cupboard over there, so a maths test

straight after lunch, and as an added bonus,

anyone who gets under 50% can join me in

holiday classes.

Very good idea; thank you, Mr. King!

- Bet you're glad I stole the answer sheet now, huh?

At least we won't fail the test.

- But we wouldn't have had a test if you hadn't nicked it.

It's a thingy, isn't it?

What do you call it, Maddy?

- A paradox.

- A paradox, you've created a paradox, Simon.

- Have I?

Cool.

- You're not gonna cheat, Alex?

The universe won't like it.

- Hey, I tried to do right by the universe,

and I tried to return this.

Not this time.

I'm going to bring my A-game.

I'm going to pass this test, I'm going to beat the universe,

and nobody will get hurt.

- [Girl] You broke my wombat!

- You were saying?

- What's going on?

- These two knocked me down the stairs.

- What's up with you two?

- We fell down the stairs, and I really hurt my arm,

and he hurt his.

Oh, we probably can't use that one now?

- Which arm should we use, Parker?

- Come on, now, that was not even my fault this time.

Simon, tell them.

(rockabilly music)

- Maddy, move!

- Keep your voice down.

- Sshhh.

- Master maths in an hour.

Look Alex, this is better than cheating!

- Sshhh.

- You two are toast.

- Sshhh.

- You can't beat us up in here because you have to be quiet.

- Well then, we'll just have to beat you up quietly.

- Yeah.

How do we do that?

- First, you get us a maths test.

Then, you ruin our chances of being sent home sick.

So, what are you gonna do about it, King?

- There's nothing I can do.

- Wha.

You could always give him the answer sheet.

- Great.

That's just great.

Without the answer sheets, we're doomed.

Holiday classes with Norris, again.

I feel ill.

It's a figure of speech.

- Then why do you look so pale and pasty and clammy?

- I always look like that.

- You know what we could do?

We could use one of these.

- Answers!

- Yeah, photocopied them.

Was planning on selling them about $10 each,

only you had us running around all lunch time.

- You're not gonna use them, Alex?

Please, can't you see the universe keeps trying

to tell you it's wrong?

- I'll tell you what's wrong, Maddy.

My punishment last time, that's wrong.

And I'm about to go through it all again even though

I tried to put the answer sheets back.

And that's wrong too.

The universe isn't playing fair so why should I play fair?

How else am I meant to pass the test?

- Studied for it?

- Apart from that?

- Nah, never mind her, mate, doing the right thing.

That will be $10 please.

(class bell)

All right, $5.

I won't go any lower than $4.

- OK, get to work.

You have exactly one hour to answer every question

on the sheet in front of you.

There will be strictly no talking.

When you are finished, stay quietly in your seats

until the time is up.

- See, Maddy, he cheated, and the sky hasn't fallen down.

- Yet.

- Anyway, Maddy, you cheat all the time.

- I do not!

- Please!

You think I don't see you secretly remembering

everything you are taught in class?

- Don't tell anyone.

Anyway, I don't know why you bothered.

The test was easy, the one with the triangle

was so simple.

- Triangles?

Maddy, what were you doing with triangles?

- It was a trigonometry test.

That is what we've been studying.

- No, it wasn't; it was algebra, wasn't it?

- You stole the wrong answer sheets.

You stole the wrong answer sheet!

- Isn't that going to look a bit funny if four people

hand in identical algebra papers instead of trigonometry?

- You think?

We have to get our tests back.

- Vvrrr, vvrrr.

- That's rubbish, it looks like you're painting.

You obviously don't have much experience shaving.

- He's locked the cupboard.

He never locks the cupboard!

It must be because I was there earlier.

- Oh, well done.

We're finished then.

Holiday lessons, detentions, and beat downs

from Parker and Howe.

- Maybe not.

There is another way in, but it's not easy.

Remember to get ours, Parker's and Howe's.

- I'm not going, you go.

- Would you; fine, rock, paper, scissors.

What is that?

- That is a bomb defusal expert; beats dynamite.

- Yeah, that makes sense.

A bomb defusal expert.

- All right! Fine, I'll do it.

Just keep watch, both of you.

And no mimes!

(upbeat music)

Aw, come on!

Good job!

- Alex?

- I'm in the vent!

- Well come out!

- I can't open it.

It's stuck.

- She did it; I was trying to put it in really gently,

but she made me force it.

- Help me.

The holes are too small for me to fit my fingers in.

- Even I can't shift it, Alex.

We will have to find another way out.

- Brilliant.

- You could pass my test paper through if you like.

(upbeat music)

- OK, it's moving; I think we're gonna be all right.

- Whoop whoop kkk kkk kkk.

- What are you doing.

- Siren beetle.

- Sounds nothing like a siren beetle.

This is a siren beetle, whoop whoop kkk kkk kkk.

- A siren beetle is more at the back of the throat,

with a phlegm, with a whoop whoop kkk kkk kkk.

- It sounds like a toad.

A beetle is more high-pitched, whoop whoop kkk kkk kkk.

- Oh, high-pitched.

You wanna go high-pitched, might as well go bbrrr ping!

- Should I even ask or will

the answer be as stupid as I suspect?

- Um.

- We.

- We were just.

- Thought as much.

(loud crashing)

And where exactly have you just come from, King?

- I've been here the whole time?

- All right, shut up!

One month's detention, and for cheating,

you will attend all my holiday lessons.

But at least you'll have some company.

Isn't that right, Birch?

Parker?

Howe?

Looking forward to spending the entire holiday

with your friends, eh?

- Well, Mum was gonna take me to that petting zoo.

They've got a pony.

- Get out!

The lot of you!

(upbeat music)

- Are you gonna beat us up every day of those holidays,

aren't you?

- No, King, we're not.

We're gonna beat you up now!

- Great idea, Si, never would have gone.

- Get back here, King, you are toast!

- Keep running!

I could get a sick note.

- Get sent home.

- I do have a little um hmmm in my throat.

- I'm starting to get a little bit of it myself.

- When are we having the conversation that leads us to

having, that gives us the idea in the first place?

Yes, thank you, thank you!