All language subtitles for Trouble

Good afternoon.

Mr. Wright?

Who's calling?

Just a moment, please.

Mr. Wright, Flumier Printing
printing on the line.

Towers Model Agency.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

I'm sorry, Mr.
Fitzgerald isn't in yet.

You're welcome.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

What do you want, please?

I'd like to have a job.

Are you registered here?

Well, no I'm not.

I've never been...

We're not registering
any new girls.

Towers Model Agency.

Good afternoon.

You have the wrong number.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

Good afternoon.

Towers Model Agency.

Just a moment.

Good afternoon,
Towers Model Agency.

Towers Model...

Will you, uh, have
a seat, please?

How can I have a
job here tomorrow?

Are you registered?

Oh, yes, yes, I'm registered.

Did you get a call from
Mr. Wright's office?

Well, no.
Mr. Wright?

Guess there's
nothing for you, then.

Sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

This is Mr. Wright's office?

I came to see about
being a model.

Did Mr. Wright call you?

Oh, yes, yes.

I got a call from Mr. Wright.

Go right in.

Thank you.

I want him
to put his OK on it

Before we print one of them.

He's putting up all the
money for this deal,

And he has a right to
know what's going on.

Now, don't argue with me.

Send the proofs in right away.

I'll be with you in a minute.

Get me Mr. Trevor's address.

Yes, sir.

Did I call you?

Oh, yes, yes, you called me.

Uh, what was it for?

Well, I don't know.

To be a model?

And you're French, huh?

Yes, I'm French.

But the accent won't
show on the pictures.

No, of course not.

Let me see.

Must have been this,
uh... yes, that's it.

Now, this is where you go.

Mr. Trevor's
address... thank you.

This man is a first
class photographer.

You'll pose with drapes.

Pardon?

With drapes.

With... oh.

Drapes.

And what else?

Nothing else.

Oh?

Oh, you mean you... you want
me to pose with... just with...

Yes.

What do you think I am?

I've never...
You don't want to do it?

Me?
No.

I'll never do it.

All right.

You.

Come in, please.

Yes, Mr. Wright?

I have a job for you
to pose with drapes.

For how much?

$2.75 an hour.

He'll want you three hours
a day for about 10 weeks.

That's no job.

That's a career.

Oh, there's one thing I
want to warn you about.

He's a very impatient man.

Don't keep him
waiting, because he's

Likely to throw things at you.

I'll be there on time.

Well, make you are.

Go right into his
studio and get ready.

Here's the address.

His name is Candecker.

Thank you, Mr. Wright.

Here are the proofs
for Mr. Trevor.

Oh, yes.

We'll send them right
down to, uh... to... Hi.

I asked you for Mr. Trevor's
address a half hour ago.

Where is it?

Yes, Mr. Wright.

I put it right here...

Now, don't argue with me.

But I remembered to...

Everyone in this place
wants to argue with me.

Well, I'm so sorry, but I...

Get me that address.

Yes, sir.

But Mr. Wright, I distinctly...

Get it.

Right over there.

Thank you very much.

Going up.

Mr. Trevor's office, please.

See his secretary, please.

This one?

Yes, that one.

OK.

Oh, wait a minute.

I am to see Mr. James Trevor.

Take this to the
mail room right away.

Mr. Trevor wants it
to get the 3:00 plane,

And to have it registered.

What do you want to
see him about, please?

- I am from Towers, and...
- Oh, from Towers?

He's expecting you.
Go right in.

Ah, yes.
In here?

Yes, right in that door.

He'll be there in just a minute.

Make yourself comfortable.

Yes.

Yes, of course.

Right away.

I want about 800,000
copies, and I don't

Want any argument about it.

Jim, that'll stand us over a
quarter of a million dollars

Before we even start.

Listen, this isn't your money,
and so will you be good boys

And do as I tell you, please?

Who is it?

Well, it's... it's, uh... huh?

You are Mr. James Trevor, no?

I'm Mr. James Trevor, yes.

How do you do?

I'm sorry I'm not ready.

I know you are very impatient.

No, I'm just curious.

Would you mind telling me
what this is all about,

Or is that asking too much?

Pardon?

What is this all for?

$2.75 an hour.

Oh.

For $2.75, eh?

Is it too much?

Oh, no, no, no.

As a matter of fact,
it's quite reasonable.

I was just thinking that
it's worth that to find

Out what happens next.

Cannot get this....

May I help you?

Oh, no, no, no.

Please, I... I think
I can do it myself.

Here's your plane ticket, sir.

Mr. Eddie will meet you
in Chicago at 10:00,

And he wants you to
bring... oh, pardon me.

I beg your pardon.

Pardon me.

You are the certain
Mr. James Trevor, no?

I am Mr. James Trevor,
but not very certain.

But don't let that stop you.

Go right ahead.

No thought about me.

Where are the "draps?"

The what?

You have the "draps?"

I don't know.

I had the measles.

What are the "draps" like?

Where is your camera?

My camera?

Oh, my camera.

Oh, well that's a
long, sad story.

I lost it.

- You lost it?
- Mm-hm.

Lost it last winter in Florida.

Put it in the back of my
car and somebody stole it,

And it's the only
camera I've ever been

Able to make pictures with.

You're a photographer, no?

That's where you've got me.

I'm a photographer, no.

And what are you?

I'm a model.

From Towers.

You're a model from Towers?

Well, what are you doing here?

Yes, sir?

Get me Towers on the phone.

Please!
Please don't!

Don't, don't,
don't call them up.

It's all right.

I... you know, I'm not
supposed to be here.

They didn't send me.

They told me about the
"draps," and I came here.

Please don't do that.

I... I thought you
were the photographer,

But you have no camera, so...

- Now, don't mind about Towers.
- Yes, sir.

There seems to be
something wrong.

Oh, no, no.

Nothing is wrong, I promise you.

I just wanted to
make a little money.

That's what I was afraid of.

Yes, Mr. Trevor?

Yes, Mr. Trevor?

Yes, Mr. Trevor?

Gentlemen, don't you think
this looks a little haywire?

What do you mean by haywire?

I'm a model, I tell
you, for $2.75 an hour.

Well, that's undoubtedly
a bargain, but you see,

We have no possible use
unless any of you gentlemen

Happen to be
photographers or painters.

Oh,!

Well, gentlemen, there must
be a model in there somewhere,

So will you all go
back to your offices

And try and find out what it is?

That'll be all.

Thank you.

Don't bother to go
upstairs, Frenchie.

There's a lock on your door.

You're not going to
let me in my room?

I'm not going to
let you in, and I'm

Not going to let your clothes
out till you've paid your rent.

I don't owe you so much.

I can take a few things.

You can't take a thing.

That's the law.

Now out you get.

Go on.
Out.

No, I won't!

- You won't?
- It's not fair.

I'll get a job tomorrow.

On your way.

But you can't do this.

You must help me.

If you want help, get
it from Washington.

Washington's dead.

Haven't you heard?

Oh, Gloria,
please, talk to her.

You keep out of
this, Miss Patterson.

I pay $7.00 a week
in this fire trap,

And if there's any fun going
on, I want to be in on it.

Stop this clatter.

I'm trying to think.

It's all right.

The queen is trying to slip
Snow White the apple again.

She's four days
behind on her rent!

And you're two weeks
behind with your hot water.

I have to live too, you know?

Why?

Don't you talk to me like that.

I'll do better than that.

I won't even talk to you at all.

And I'll pay her rent.

These people.
They just...

Shut up!

Why are you always
so good to me?

Oh, I suppose you have
to be good to something,

And my dog died a week
before you moved in here.

I must get a job tomorrow.

I've been telling you for
months that the only job

For a woman is marriage.

Who would marry me?

There's nothing wrong with
you that a nice, rich husband

Couldn't cure.

Did you marry a rich husband?

I married a hooker.

All he had was a time step,
and a shuffle off to Buffalo.

Late in life he
became ambitious.

And got rich?

And got 20 years.

Please don't feel
sorry about him.

But when I married
this heel beater,

I turned down a man
who went millions.

Every time I think of it,
I want to cut my throat.

Oh, I could have
married anyone then.

But you loved the hoofer?

My luck.

We used to go to Reisenweber's
every night after the show.

I could have had anyone there,
from the millionaire johns

Down to the busboy.

What a funny kid, that busboy.

He... say, he's at the
Savoy Grand right now.

He'll give you a job.

Oh, you think so?

I know so.

He'll do anything I ask him.

And I'll ask him tonight.

Where are you going?

But this is the
Savoy Grand, no?

Yes, I know.

But let's go around the
back and surprise them.

In here?

Sure.

Where do you expect
to find the head

Waiter, in the bridal suite?

Come on.

I beg your pardon.

Thanks.

Mediterranean.

$4.25.

I beg your pardon, sir.

Thanks, take these
a la cremes, $5.95.

That's an outrage.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, I'm looking
for Mike Levetavich.

He's a captain here.

I'm sorry.

- Levetavich is, uh...
- , $2.80.

He's in the dining room.

You'll have to wait.

Chicken a la king,
salad no hearts, $4.89.

It's very important, sir.

Would you mind sitting
down a moment, please?

Salad , $3.40.

- Hammond.
- Yes, sir?

What's the idea?

In a salad
for Mrs. Britton,

The garlic must
be just... Gloria.

I don't believe it.

Oh, it's not you.

Oh, but it is you.

And you look so good, I thought
we were back at Reisenweber's I

Was the busboy then, but
when glorious Gloria used

To come in after the Follies.

Who, who, I ask you,
cooked her eggs and bacon?

At I'll tell you who it was.

It was me, Mike the busboy.

This your daughter?

Oh, no.

This is my friend,
Miss de Cortillon.

Oh, all right, all right.

How do you do?

It was Gloria Patterson
in lights then.

Mike, I'd like to talk to
you when you're not so busy.

Oh, I'm never too
busy to talk to a pal.

Thanks.

Uh, this kid wants a job.

Job?

Yeah, she's one of those
rare people who really

Want to work for a living.

Well, I can't put
anybody on right now.

This is the bad
season, you know?

Oh, yeah?

What do you do in
the good season?

Hang 'em on the chandelier?

Well, when it gets better
I can't put her on because I

Won't be here myself.

I'm going to open
my own restaurant.

Oh, really?
When?

Soon.

I found a place.

But not the money, eh?

I've got the $3,000
to put on the line.

All I need is a little
money to renovate.

Well, I'm sure you'll get it.

Oh, soon as I open and
put her on, probably.

Hey, Mike.

You're wanted upstairs.

Mr. Duncan just checked in.

Room 1452.

OK.

Excuse me, please.

It's my best customer.

He always wants my
personal service.

I'll be right back.

Sit and wait for me, huh?

Excuse me.

That's too bad.

It would be so
nice to work here.

Uh-huh.

Look at those girls in there.

That's where you belong,
not in the kitchen.

The way to a man's heart
is through his eyes, baby.

That's the modern version.

He believes what
he sees, and takes

Bicarbonate of soda
for his indigestion,

Instead of a wife that can cook.

Those women spend $3 billion
a year in beauty parlors,

And none for cookbooks.

You're very hard to
understand sometimes.

70% of all the money in America
is in the hands of women.

You understand that, don't you?

Yes, but...

And if the boys don't
look out, the girls

Will get the other 30%.

Gee, kid, if I looked like
you and knew what I know now,

I'd be in there brushing caviar
off a mink coat.

But you were very
beautiful once.

I saw the pictures.

Oh, sure.

I was a lulu, but with
the brains of a butterfly.

And by the time I had sense,
I looked like somebody's aunt.

Oh.

Well, maybe I'd better
do this very soon, no?

Now you're talking, honey.

All we need is some
clothes, a decent place

To live where you'll meet
the right kind of people,

And some money.

Not very much.

$3,000.

I'm so sorry, but Mr. Duncan
is such an important man.

Mike...

Please, about the cards.

Mike, you need more money for
your restaurant, don't you?

Well, with another
$2,000, I could

Have the most beautiful...
You wouldn't want

To go in on a deal, would you?

I'd like to talk to
you a little about it.

You want to talk to me?

Well, come right in.
Come.

Can you imagine you
and I being partners?

I have a little
place where you can...

We could rent the clothes.

We'll give her a
great, big build up.

We'll move right here in the
hotel, where you can keep

Your eyes on your investment.

It's crazy, it's insane.

It's my $3,000.

What are you talking
about, $3,000?

When she's a rich Mrs.
Who'sus, she'll back you with

The biggest restaurant in town.

Look at her.

Can you imagine what she'll look
like when she's all dressed up?

Oh, come on, take a chance.

I'm no gambler.

I saved this money dime by dime.

I'm not going to
do it, even if it

Does mean a hole in
the wall, instead

Of a great, big restaurant.

No.

My answer is no.

Definitely no.

Do you think it would work?

Right this way, please.

I know you're going to
like this apartment.

It's the finest one
at the house, really.

Well, then that's
the one we want.

I understand there
was a brilliant season

In Paris this year.

Oh, yes, a brilliant season.

Ah, wonderful gay Paris.

The queen of all the
cities of the world.

Entrez, Madame.

Mademoiselle?

Southern exposure.

All newly decorated.

Oh, it... it's lovely.

She means it'll do.

And now this way, please.

This, madame, is the
sleeping chamber.

Nicole?

The bedroom.

Oh, this is very...

Hm... it's all right.

You'd better start unpacking
the few things we brought along.

Over there, madame,
is the other bedroom.

Now, if there is anything the
madame requires in the way

Of special service,
we shall be only too

Happy to arrange it for you.

We want your stay with us to be
a memorable and enjoyable one,

Because we feel that there
isn't a hotel in America

So well equipped as ours to
make you was comfortable as you

Were in the home you just left.

What a sweet thought.

Well, well, well, well...
Uh, well, does madame wish

To order some, uh, luncheon?

Isn't it a little early
for luncheon, captain?

Oh, no, no.

We always like to
order it early.

Madame, you need me to help you
unpack your wallet to telephone

The clerk at the desk?

I think my niece and I
can manage, thank you.

And remember, we're
all ready to serve

You at any time, all of us.

No service too great, no
service too small, thank you.

I thought he was going
to stay for the weekend.

I'm going to get settled.

Gloria, Mike, look, look!

It's beautiful!

Oh!

Oh, it's like a dream.

It costs $30 a day
to rent this coat.

It's no dream, it's a nightmare.

Do you think it's better
with the collar up?

Well, what do I know?

Not very much.

Why did you engage this suite?

Because Bill Duncan
lives across the hall.

And who is Bill Duncan?

He has $10 million and
owns half of Canada.

Oh.

In that case, we're
going to dedicate

This little number to him.

Try it on, darling.

Watch out for the cigarette!

Oh!

I'm sorry.

I didn't see it.
She didn't see it.

But if she burn the coat,
we have to buy the coat.

And if we have to buy the
coat, we have to go to jail.

And if we go to jail,
you'll get a pardon

Because you're so cute.

Right.

Try it on, darling.

She's such a child.

And while she's
growing up, it's costing

Me $60 a day for this suite.

And that's, uh, a little
over $0.04 a minute.

If you lose one
penny on this deal,

I'll give you my right eye.

And I'll take it.

Oh, if I only had $10
left, I'd go to a doctor

And have my head examined.

Come on, tell me more
about this Duncan man.

Well, he owns half of Canada.

Isn't that enough?

Maybe we could do
better than that.

Ah, Mrs. Patterson, I
have your credit card for...

I... I don't know.

It feels all right to me.

May I ask the meaning of this?

The lady complain
about the chairs.

They feel a bit hard.

I was just trying them out, sir.

Yes, I think it must
be stuck with feathers

From a... stool pigeon.

- Personally, for me it's...
- Never mind.

Never mind.

Yes, sir.

Oh, it's all right
once you're in it.

It's the first meeting
that's a problem.

Yes, I understand.

Captain, you're wrong.

There is a decided shock.

How are the others?

Try that one.

Yes, sir.

It's just like
being a test pilot.

How's that one, madame?

Oh, this is divine.

See?

Oh, if I just had
my boots and saddle.

Gloria?

Gloria?

What's the matter, dear?

I'd like to have breakfast.

I thought you were frightened.

No.

I want my breakfast right here.

- In bed?
- Mm-hm.

Ah.

I want some honeydew
melon, and some toast,

With lots of butter.

And then I'm gonna...
Then, and then,

And then I want some bacon.

Some bacon with eggs.

Two eggs.

Two eggs.

And then... then I
want some sausage.

Some sausage, and a jelly donut.

Yes.

Is that all?

Oh, no, no, no.

No, I want some
coffee, and a shower.

All right, lovely.

I'll order it.

That will be all.

Room service, please.

This is 1460.

One toast and one
coffee, please.

Well, do we do that Bill
Duncan business this morning,

Or have you lost your nerve?

No, no, no.

I'll do it.

But you're positive
he'll believe it?

When he gets a look at
you in that new outfit,

He'll want to believe it.

You think so?

Sure.

Then it'll be the same old
story in the same old setting.

Lunch one day, dinner
the next, hockey games,

Races, night clubs.

Oh, I like that.

That doesn't mean a thing.

But if he invites
you to the opera

And sits you in the family box,
then, my dear, that's love.

Charlie!

Charlie!

Charlie,.

I beg your pardon, but I... I
don't know what you're saying.

Oh, but Charlie,?

I'm sorry, but I don't
understand French.

But have you been in a war?

No.

You are well?

Quite well, thank you.

How are you?

You... you're not
Charlie Dumurray,

Who was so big and
played with me in Cannes

When we lived next door?

Well, I was so big, but I
didn't live next door to you,

And I was never in Cannes.

Oh, you're not Charlie.

Oh.

Well, I'm sorry, I...

Don't be.

Please.

I thought you... oh... excuse me.

I didn't...

Good morning, Mr. Duncan.

Hey!

Jim!

It's a pal of mine.

Haven't see him since
last new year's.

Hey!

Jim!

Hey, Jim!

Shh!

Bill!

When did you get in?

Shh!

Didn't you get my letter?

Shh!

I just missed you in Chicago.

- Shh!
- I know.

I found your office.

Shh!

Why don't you
move into my place?

Shh!

I can't hear a
word you're saying.

These people are
making too much noise.

Shh!

I'll see you outside.

Shh!

Excuse me.

I'll be right back.

What's the matter?

Well, I know this man.

I met him.

Bill, you old Canuck.

How's everything in Winnipeg?
Fine.

When did you get the mustache?

Well, that's something I
picked up when I had the flu.

Remember the go around
we had New Year's Eve?

Do I?
I didn't sober up till Easter.

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

Who's he talking to?

It can't be us.

Well, curtain is
about to go up.

Look, will you go
out and buy yourself

A nice pair of long pants, now?

You're getting to
be a big boy, now.

Please go away.

Who are you with?

An advertiser.

Get rid of him and join us.

Oh, wish I could, but he's got
a big contract in his pocket.

Oh, forget the contracts.
Come on.

God, it's been...
Who are you with?

A girl.

Local entry?

- No, she's from Paris.
- Kentucky?

France.

Oh, Jim, she's really something.

Two diplomats tried to
blow their brains out

Last year because she
wouldn't marry them.

- Sounds interesting.
- Interesting?

She's marvelous.

The rage of Parisian society.

Daughter of a French
baron, or something.

Her aunt told me so.

- Oh, she has an aunt?
- All French girls have aunts.

Well, never mind the aunt.

When do I meet the girl?

- Do you still like brunettes?
- Sure.

You know me.
That's fine.

She's a blonde.

Oh, I can't wait.

Well, but suppose he...
He brings him in here?

Oh, he won't till
after intermission.

Mrs. Hudson, may I present
my best friend, Jim Trevor?

How do you do?

Nicole, this is Jim Trevor.

I wanted him to join us later,
but he couldn't make it,

So I... I brought
him in to say hello.

Charmed.

And don't believe
a word he says.

I wouldn't miss going to
your party for the world.

Really?

What comes next?

A little salad, perhaps?

Where is that on the menu?

That'll be here, monsieur.

For the entree I would
suggest?

You hear that, Mama?

I want ham and eggs.

Two ham and eggs, then.

I think I'll have
a little roast duck.

Excuse me.

Mrs. Patterson with
mademoiselle, Monsieur Duncan.

Can I have a beautiful
table for three?

I wish you were right.

Make it for four, Mike.

Right this way, please.

Why four?

We're having
company for supper.

Who?

Trouble.

On my money, having
trouble for supper?

Sit down, Jim.

Thanks.

And does the young lady
stay in the hotel, too?

Oh, yes.

Right across the hall
from me, with her aunt.

How cozy.

A little supper, perhaps?

May I suggest some
Russian specialties?

Why is he trouble?

He knows all about Nicole.

Why did you tell him?

The lobster is
very nice tonight.

No, I don't care for lobster.

Besides, I didn't
tell him, you dope.

Dope is right.

My money's all gone.

Ah, poulet de vinaigrette?

What are you ordering,
Mrs. Patterson?

Oh, a little poulet
vinaigrette for madame.

And for monsieur,
perhaps a little fish?

I'll have the same as madame.

Very well, sir.

Your party, Mr. Duncan?

Yes, it's a sort
of celebration.

Oh, in that case,
a little champagne

With , lobster
cold with a sauce supreme.

For you, mademoiselle?

That'll be fine.

Very well, sir.

Two very nice, cold lobsters,
and two tough chickens.

Why tough?

Never mind.

Never mind bout it.

How long have you been
in New York, mademoiselle?

Oh.

Well, uh...

Just a week.

She arrived the same day I did.

A week?

I should've said you've
been here much longer.

Oh, uh, she fools everyone.

I'm sure she does.

That reminds me,
I don't know why,

But the funniest thing happened
to me about three weeks ago.

A young lady came and said...

Uh, wouldn't you young
people like to dance?

Oh, yes.

Oh, it'd be a great
pleasure, if I may.

Yes, but it's my
pleasure first.

I'm sorry to
interrupt your story.

I'll tell it to you later.

You know, Bill's a
very old friend of mine.

We've known each other...

So I gathered when
two boys nearly

Broke up the opera tonight.

Well, ever since
we were about...

Keep your head.

Next time I'll
keep my money, too.

You know, I'm very much
interested in your niece.

Now, there's a girl that...

You know, I don't know how
that dear child does it,

But every man she meets is...

I'm sorry, but my
interest is not romantic.

Oh.

Oh, I'm so glad.

Oh, that'll be such a relief
to her to know that no one is

Interested in her.

Now, wait.

There's one thing I want
to ask you before Bill

Comes back to the table.

Ah, , sir?

Yes, but serve
it later, please.

But a glass for madame?

- Oh, yes.
- All right.

But make it quick.

With lightning, sir.

Now, your niece
came into my office.

Would you like some
bitters in your wine, sir?

- No.
- Well, some people like it.

I do.

I don't.

Yes, sir.

One does, one doesn't.

Now, you will
probably want to shoot

Me for... There's one thing
about Bill I want to tell you...

Would you like to
try some first, sir?

Will you please serve
it and get out here?

But the glass for madame.

One thing about Bill
I want you to know...

That a boy.

Keep it up.

In a moment, I'll
pour it down his neck.

A glass for you, sir?

Wouldn't you like to pull up
a chair and join the party?

Oh, thank you very much
sir, but the help is not

Allowed to sit with the guests.

Thank you just the same.

Now, about your neice...

Oh, here they come.

Come on, let's drink with them.

Oh, they make such
a lovely couple.

You're just in time.

The waiter insisted
upon pouring the wine.

I wish he'd insist on
pouring some for me.

Immediately, sir.

Well, I've had the most
wonderful chat with your aunt

While you were dancing.

- Did you tell your funny story?
- No, I didn't.

I wanted to wait till you
got back to the table.

I thought perhaps
mademoiselle would like to...

To dance?

But certainly, if you like.

Oh, a grand idea.

It comes just at
the right time, too.

And remember, don't believe
a word he says to you.

Jim and I are great friends.

Yes, so he told me, Mr. Duncan.

Why don't you call me Bill?

If I were 15 years younger,
I'd do better than that.

Why, Mrs. Patterson...

Call me Gloria.

Well?

Come on, come on, come on.

Tell me the whole story.

Just pretend I'm your uncle,
like you're pretending she's

Your aunt.

Pardon?

Now listen, I
know there's a lot

Of monkey business going on.

All I want to be sure of
is that my friend Bill

Isn't going to be the monkey.

No.

No.

Now, come on.

Too many people about?

We'll go to the bar.
No, no.

I don't go to the bar.

Well, you have to drink.

I don't drink
anything with you.

Very well, then.

Back we go to the table, and
I tell Bill the whole story.

I'll drink a
champagne cocktail.

Fine.

Two champagne cocktails, please.

Yes, sir.

Well, I'm all ears.

So you won't talk, huh?

All right, you don't have to.

I'll do the talking.

Now, this whole act is to
impress Bill that you're

A nice girl from a nice family.

You want to marry him,
and then in a few months

You'll divorce him, and
then live happily ever

After on the alimony, right?

It's a very cheap
and dishonest idea,

And I think that...
Shall I go on?

Go ahead.

I can take it.

Good.

I can dish it out, too.

I want you to lay off Bill.

I want you to tell
him the truth.

Because if you don't, I will.

You don't know
anything about me.

I know enough about you.

You were in my office
three weeks ago

With another kind of a racket.

And once Bill hears about that,
mademoiselle, you're finis.

And then I...

Mademoiselle, your
dinners are ready, sir.

- Are you here again?
- Here?

Why yes, sir.

I've been in this
hotel for 11 years.

Well, will you get out
of here for five minutes?

Ah, yes, sir.
Right away, sir.

Thank you.

Well, have you decided
you'll tell him?

I'll tell him.

Good.

Tomorrow.

Oh, no, no.

You're going to tell him
right now, while I'm here.

I started this thing, and I
want to be in on the finish.

All right.

You'll see the finish.

Sorry to have been rough
on you, but war is war.

You said it, Mr. Trevor.

That's strange.

They're not dancing.
Hm?

Oh, they must be.

I just saw them a...
Oh, there they are.

Where?

- At the bar.
- Oh, yes.

What are they doing over there?

Well, I know one
way to find out.

Let's join them.

Nice friend I have.

I've heard that man's best
friend is always the dog.

Here they come.

All right.

I'll try to do a good job.

Remember us?

I just thought you'd
be here for a dance,

But this is going too far.

Oh, Bill, I'm sorry,
but we have been talking,

And... shall I tell him now?

Certainly.

Go ahead.

Tell me what?

Sorry.

Mr. Trevor wants me
to tell you a story.

Oh, uh, don't you think
you'd better tell me first?

No, no.

I can tell it to everything.

He wants me to tell you that
I once went to his office,

And... that's right?

Mm-hm.

Uh-huh.

And... well, he was
taking photographs,

And I was supposed to be a
model to pose with "draps."

And... and he says it
will be a big joke.

Do you think it's funny?

Very funny.

Excruciating.

Don't you see
why it's so funny?

Because I've never
posed for one picture,

And he's not a photographer.

Everybody knows this.

And... and he says... do
you know what he says?

He says if I tell you
this, he's going to take me

Out for dinner tomorrow night.

You little double crosser.

I beg your pardon, Mr. Trevor?

We'd better leave, Mr. Duncan.

I'll see you to your rooms.

Mr. Trevor seems to
be a very peculiar man.

I'm sorry.

I could have sworn he was sober.

That'll be $2.50, sir.

Take out for the
glass too, please.

The glass is on me, sir.

I can't understand it.

He's changed so completely.

Inside a year, too.

I knew a man once whose
hair turned white overnight.

Well, I wouldn't believe it
about Jim unless I'd seen it.

You know, this man wouldn't
believe it about his hair

Until he became bald
the following night.

But that convinced him.

Please, Gloria.

I was just telling him.

Well, don't forget we
have a breakfast out

On the terrace in the morning.
Good night, Mrs. Patterson.

Good night, Bill.

I promised to find
you jelly doughnuts,

And if I have to turn the
whole of New York inside out,

I'll get them.

Thank you, Bill.

Good night, Nicole.

Good night.

If little orphan Annie
gets out of this jam,

She'll be a miracle woman.

Nice trick you
pulled in the bar.

Yeah.

That's why I'm here.

Now, there's something
very funny about that girl.

She's not what you
think she is at all.

Oh, find a new line, Jim.

Oh, but really,
Bill, I'm serious.

Oh, sure you are.

Remember Bermuda?

Sonia wasn't worthy of
me, and you finished up

With her in Honolulu.

Ah, but this is different.

And I did the same
to you at Miami.

What was her name?
Eloise.

But now, let's be
sensible about this.

I intend to be.

I don't blame you for
trying, but it won't work.

All right.
Be smart.

But I tell you, she's a
phony, and I'm going to prove

It to you if it takes a month.

Aw, Jim.

Nicole's the wrong girl
for your brand of humor.

Ah, the young lady in
your party forgot her wrap.

It wasn't my party,
and she's not a lady.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir,
but I'm sure you know

Your friends better than I do.

Who is it?

It's her fur coat with me.

What kind of a business is
leaving fur coats around?

What do you think,
they grow on trees?

Now, now, now, be
quiet and calm yourself.

But you can't
just leave around...

We can be very proud of
our little girl tonight.

She certainly saved us all.

Oh, yes.

Yes, of course.

The way you got rid of
him, that was great.

Allow me to be the first
one to congratulate you.

You turned the tide of battle.

What's the matter?

It's the first time anyone has
ever said anything like that

To me before.

Said what?

He said I'm cheap.

Well, you certainly
paid him back for that.

In spades.

He's got some nerve... cheap.

I figured out just
now how much it costs.

$87.50 in rental.

Cheap?

What does he want you to wear?

Radium?

He meant I was dishonest.

Darling, all women
are dishonest.

If they weren't,
the world would be

Divided into two
classes of people... old

Maids and bachelors.

Look, that's dishonest.

Plucking your
eyebrows is dishonest.

The rouge on your
cheeks is dishonest.

And a fat woman in a girdle...
Oh, that's highway robbery.

If marrying a nice boy like
Bill is the wrong idea,

Don't tell me that starving and
waiting for a Prince Charming

To ride up on a white
horse is the right one.

Of course, it's so simple.

When I put paste on a steak,
does anybody eat the paste?

No, it's just for show.

Now, what you are doing
is just putting paste...

Please stop talking about that.

Aw, Nicole.

Don't let that
Trevor influence...

Leave me alone.

Now look, I'm a partner...

Now leave her alone!

You're just the silent partner.

Leave her alone?

Somebody calls her
cheap, then right away

She gets unreasonable.

But can I get unreasonable?
No.

Oh, now, Mike, everything
is going to be all right.

Sure.
It's going to be great.

I started out to
get a restaurant,

And I'll be lucky if I wind
up with a ham sandwich.

Miss de Cortillon, please.

I'm calling for
Mr. James Trevor.

The line's still busy, sir.

Just hold on.

She'll run out of
breath sooner or later.

Yes, sir.
We all do, sir, sooner or later.

I'm still waiting, operator.

It's a dangerous
business, interfering

Between a man and a maid.

Yes, Rigley.

I know when I'm in trouble
without you telling me.

Similar situation in
my own family, sir.

As a matter of fact,
that's how my second cousin

Lost his right eye.

I'm still waiting, operator.

Mr. Duncan's my best friend.

That's the only
reason I'm doing it.

It was my second cousin's
brother, sir, who knocked

Out my second cousin's eye.

Hello?

Is this the rage to Paris,
or the pride of Hoboken,

Or whatever you're
calling yourself today?

This is Jim Trevor.

Where's Bill?

Well, you can get Mr.
Duncan at his club.

He's at a meeting.

Oh, he's at a meeting?

Well, that's grand,
because you're going

To have dinner with me tonight.

What?

Oh, no.

No, I don't like you.

I'm sorry.

Well, I'm not sorry at all,
but you're still going to have

Dinner with me at 7:30 sharp.

No?

Remember those four
men in my office?

Well, they remember you.

And if you don't come, I'm going
to have the whole quartet down

There singing "Mammy"
right in front of your door

Until Bill comes home.

Eat.

It's not poison.

Anything else, miss?

No.

Well, I'm sorry you
didn't enjoy your dinner.

Well, I... I'd rather
like to know why I'm here.

Well, I thought there
might be a chance

For us to find a nice, friendly
way of calling off hostilities.

Pardon?

Ending our little war.

Oh

Uh, you can serve
the coffee now.

Yes, sir.

Isn't there any way I can
stop you from marrying Bill?

You're not going to tell me
you're madly in love with him?

Is that French wine?

Do you love him?

I... I would like to
leave now, please.

You're a very smart girl.

No, I don't think so.

Oh, yes, you are.

Because if you told me
you were in love with him,

I wouldn't believe you.

But by refusing
to answer, you get

The credit for being honest.

Bill is very lucky.

To get you?

No.

To have a friend like you,
who fights so hard for him.

Come on, now.

Why don't you be regular, and
just drop the whole thing?

I would need money.

That's what I thought.

$3,000.

Ah. $3,000... Did you
hear that, Rigley?

- You me to, sir?
- I do.

I did.

Good.

And remember it until I
bring Mr. Duncan back here.

No.

No.

No, you can't do that!

I didn't want you
to give it to me.

It's a trick.

It's terrible!

I know it's terrible,
but it's my turn.

Now, you just sit
down and relax.

No, I go now.

Please let me go!
Rigley.

Yes, sir?

If this young lady's not here
when I get back, you're fired.

Thank you, sir.

But this is not fair.

You can't do...

- All's fair in love and war.
- Allow me, sir.

And this is a
little bit of both.

You can't do that!

I'm sorry, mademoiselle, but
the age of chivalry is dead.

And when I come back, I'll
take you to the funeral.

You big fool!

You let me go!

This is a free country!

I... You have no right
to do that to me.

Let me go!

How old are you?

Huh?

How old are you?

Why?

Well, I would
just like to know.

Never mind how old I am.

Now, don't be nasty.

You have to watch me, but we
might as well be good friends

Until they come back.

46.

No?

Really?

But you look 10 years
younger than that.

Nonsense.

No nonsense.

You're a very
attractive young man.

You know what you ought to do?

You ought to go to France.

All the women would
be crazy about you,

If you know what I mean.

You're wasting your breath,
miss, talking to me like that.

All right.

I'll shut up.

How did you ever do that?

What?

Oh, that's easy.

Why, it's marvelous!

No, that's nothing.

I can do much better than that.

Really?

Sure.

You have a watch?

Yes.

Now, watch the watch.

Why, that's wonder...
Where's my watch?

Right here.

My sincere appreciation.

Oh, that's nothing yet.

But you should see
what I could do

With, uh... with those flowers.

What could you do with them?

Well, I could... I could make
each one light up like a lamp.

No.

Mm-hm.

How could you possible do that?

Well, that's a
professional secret.

You go in this corner,
turn your face to the wall,

And count slowly to 25.

And then you turn around,
and you will see it.

All right.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8...

Yes, Mr. Smythe?

Did you find out
about that train?

Yes, sir.
I did, sir.

There's a train that leaves
Grand Central Station

And connects with the B&H.

I beg your pardon, but...

But, uh, just a
minute, sir, please.

It leaves New York at 8:00
PM, and you get to Montreal

Next morning about...

Can I stop over at Albany?

I'm terribly sorry, but
this is very important.

Are you a member
of this club, sir?

No, I'm not.
But I...

Well, will you kindly
wait till I get through?

What was that?

On the noon train
you'll have a four

Hour layover in Albany, sir.

Four hours?

That's the best connection
we can make, sir.

Very well, then.

I won't go.

Four hours in Albany.

Imagine that.

Is Mr. Duncan here?

Who, sir?

William Jerome Duncan.

William Jerome Duncan.

Senior or junior?

Junior.

He's at a meeting.

Oh, he's left.

It was a very short
meeting tonight.

He said he'd be
at his hotel, sir.

All right.

Oh, Bill, I want you to
come up to my apartment.

I've got...

Oh.

Good evening.

Well, this is a surprise.

Well, I think I
have to leave now.

I'm in a hurry.

Good night.

How do you do?

How do you do?

This is my cousin Theresa,
and my Uncle Edward.

How do you do?

How do you do?

So happy.

Captain and Mrs. McMasters.

This is Nicole and her
aunt, Mrs. Patterson.

How do you do?

How do you do?

My cousin, George Morgan,
and my Aunt Amelia.

How do you do?

Mother.

This is Nicole.

My dear child.

I'm so happy to see you.

Thank you.

It's very nice to meet you.

Come on.

I want you to meet Father.

And you are Mrs. Patterson?

Yes, I am.

Bill has told me
about you, too.

I've been to Paris
several times.

My brother Eric has a branch
of his business over there.

On the Champs-Elysees.

You know, I think your niece
resembles you quite a lot.

Perhaps I should say
you resemble your niece?

Oh, it doesn't matter.

We all look alike in our family.

I'm glad we don't in ours.

Mrs. Duncan and I
want you and your aunt

To come up and spend a few
weeks with us at Winnipeg.

Oh, that's very nice.

It'd give us a chance
to get better acquainted.

And, uh, I'm sure
you'd like it there.

Do you like her?

Caviar, pheasant, champagne.

This is a celebration.

Boy, have I got a restaurant,
have I got a restaurant.

I don't know.

- You don't know?
- Well, have you?

I have.
I have the best.

I have the most marvelous.

I have the...

Now, you sit over
there till I need you.

Yes, sir.

I can't do this, sir.

Now, you do as you're told.

You're working on
borrowed time, anyway.

I should have fired
you last Tuesday.

Well, why don't you
fire me now, sir?

Well, if you do a good job
tonight, perhaps I will.

Oh, thank you very much, sir.

And my policy has
always been never

To see the family except
at weddings and funerals.

There's Jim.

Well, we must be off.

But you've only just
arrived, Mrs. Patterson.

Well, you see,
you're uh... we're

Going to... we're going to ride
to the hounds in the morning.

It's tally ho at dawn.

Yes, you've got to be up
very early in the morning

To catch a fox, wot?

Yes, and stay up very late
at night to catch a mink.

This is a surprise.

It's always a surprise when
someone uninvited shows up,

Isn't it?

I'm sorry, Jim.

I didn't know you
wanted to come.

- Oh, forget it.
- Hello.

Uh, we've met before.

I just can't place you.

Oh, you remember
good old Rigley?

Oh, yes.
Uh, how do you do, Mr. Rigley?

How do you do, sir?

My man.

Oh.

That's a very funny idea.

Now speak your
little piece, Rigley,

And we'll get out of here.

Well, I, uh...

Go on.

Speak up.

Speak up.

I can't do this, Mr. Trevor.

All right, then.

I will.

Last Tuesday night your
fiance was in my apartment

Trying to get $3,000.

Sorry, but you asked for it.

Mr. Dunan.

You big chump, you...

We must go now, sir.

Am I fired now, sir?
No.

Aw.

I saw the whole
thing, Mr. Duncan.

He pulled a knife on you.

What's happened?

What did they do?

Nicole?

Where's Nicole?

Now, don't worry, my dear.

We'll find her.

Oh, that child's always
running to fights and fires.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know that would happen.

Please come back, and I will
make clear what you meant.

Oh... something is broken?

Oh, we must call a doctor.

But... where are we going?

Oh!

Oh, take me back!

Stop this car!

Take me back, you hear me?

You can go back when
Duncan knows all about you.

But I'll tell him everything.

I...

You told him
everything once before.

No, you can come back with me.

I'll fix it up.

You'll probably fix it so
they'll call the police.

I'm sorry, young lady,
but you're too tricky.

But I don't do anymore tricks.
I promise.

From now on you can do
all the tricks you know,

But they won't do you any good.

What are you going
to do with me?

I haven't made up my mind yet.

Well, I don't go with you.

I... I'll jump out.
Go ahead.

It's your neck.

Break it if you want to.

Oh, you are a... a... a...

Beast is the word.

Yes, beast.
That's what you are.

Right.

Now, you turn right back!

Look out!

Now, will you please tell me
where you are going to take me?

Be quiet and keep still,
and you'll soon find out.

Well, I don't care, because
when I get there, I get back.

Sure.

How?

What's that?

I catch hitch.

You what?

I catch hitch.

You mean hitch hike?

That's what I said.

Splendid.

Place where we're not going,
the only thing that goes by

Is a milk truck.

And that's at 4:00
in the morning.

You'll have a lot of
practice doing this all... ow!

Oh, that's nothing.

Just wait.

I'll make a lot of
trouble for you.

Go ahead.

I can take it.

Well, here's where we get out.

I don't get out.

Oh, that's too bad, because I'm
going in there, and where I go,

My coat goes.

So sorry, please.

I stay right here.

Well then, I'd turn up
the window if I were you.

It's safer.

- Safer?
- Yes.

Well, not that I think
anything will happen,

But I think it's wiser not
to take any chances with so

Many wild animals about.

Oh, I'm not afraid.

Oh, you're not?

Well, that's fine.

Hey!

Watch your step.
It's rough here.

I don't want you
to break your neck.

I'm sorry I can't
wish you the same.

Oh!

What's that?

That's the old caretaker.

Used to be a hog
calling champion.

What's a hog?

Hog's a very big pig.

Now I could say something.

But I don't.

Hello?

Hello, pops.

It's me, Jimmy!

Jimmy?

Oh, it can't be true.

See.

Here, let me have
a look at you.

Why, it is Jimmy.

Gosh, it's good to see ya.

And you're looking fine, too.

I feel grand.

It is so long
since you've been up

Here that I was
beginning to commence

To forget what you look like.

How are you, miss?

Say, son, what are you doing
up in this neck of the woods?

Oh, that's a long story, pops.

Well, it ought to
be worth hearing.

- Well, I'll tell you later.
- Yeah.

Right.

I'll open the house
and light the fire.

Grand.

So it'll be nice
and warm for you.

OK.

Come on.

Now I'll go on a
sit down strike.

Then I'd better get you a coat.

No, I don't want any coat.

I'm going to get
pneumonia and die.

Then what will you
do with the body?

I'll show you.

You're going
inside, and like it.

No, please don't!

Are you ticklish?

Yes, I'm ticklish!

No!

Well, here you are.

Make yourself at home.

By golly.

It's about time.

Got to feed this lady.

She's pretty wild.

I'm not.

Well, the best to both of ya.

So you got him in
double harness, eh?

I always said when he
got spiced he'd pick

Out a lollapolooza like you.

What did he call me?

Lalala...

I hope you'll be as happy as
two jaybirds in a cherry tree.

And I'm mighty glad that
somebody as pretty as you

Is in the family at last.

Pardon?

He thinks we're married.

Pops, now, you've
got this all wrong.

Now, let me explain.

I met this...

Why don't we tell
him the truth?

I have every intention
of telling him the truth.

Well I think we
should tell him.

Didn't need to be told.

I knowed it the
minute I seen him

Carry you over the doorstep.

It's a customer in these parts.

Pops, it may be the custom
to do that, but there's also

A custom that...

Don't be mad, Jimmy.

You know, it's a secret,
but if you have to know,

You have to know, hm?

Oh.

Secret, eh?

Well, I won't tell a soul.

I'll have something
for you to eat

In two shakes of a lamb's tail.

Why did you tell
him we were married?

Oh, I didn't tell him.

He told me.

I said yes, Jimmy.

Stop calling me Jimmy!

Well, if you like, I'll
call you Mr. Trevor,

But I think it sounds
funny from a bride.

You're not a bride, and
you're not going to be.

That's why you're here.

And you're going to
stay here until you

Make Bill Duncan understand
what you are and what you did.

But if I stay here and
don't say we are married,

I get a bad reputation.

And I get a bad
reputation if you do.

Well, what?

Then take me back.

Not until you learn
to agree with me.

OK, Jimmy.

Just some country ham
and some country cheese,

And some homemade bread.

If I'd known you was coming,
I'd have cooked a goose

And baked a cake for ya.

Oh, this will do nicely, pops.

Well, when you get through
eating, just ring the bell,

And I'll come clear up.

And where is the bell?

Now, son, you know darn
well we ain't got no bell.

Just give off the old holler.

You know?

You remember?

Yes.

Say, ain't you eating nothing?

No, thank you.

Girls nowadays don't eat
no more than a hummingbird.

Ain't feeling poorly, are ya?

Oh, no.

I'm just nervous, I think.

Well.

Well, I kind of thought
that'd be the case.

- Mr. Pops?
- Yeah?

Where is telephone?

Right over there.

But it ain't connected.

Not connected?

No.

Well, can't... can't
you make it connected?

Oh, sure.

I'll notify the company the
first thing in the morning.

In the morning?

They'll send a
man up to fix it...

In about a week, or 10 days.

That's what they call
service, or something.

But I've got
another name for it.

I always thought the
French liked to eat?

Yes, but they are particular.

About their food?

No.

About who they eat with.

Who is this man?

He's my great uncle.

He's a bachelor, and
rich, and he's dead,

And so you can't
with him, either.

Why do they all have guns?

They were hunting.

Hunters?

I come from a long
line of hunters.

Oh, no.

No, I think you come from
a long line of sour pusses.

And you are a sour puss,
too, that... natural.

Oh, is that so?

Is that so?

Well, I'm so sorry
you won't eat with me.

But of course, I
understand... what's so funny?

Nothing.

Well, you might as well
let me in on the joke.

I'm not gonna... oh,
it's not a joke for you.

It's a bit for me.

I'm just thinking what happens
when Bill Duncan comes here.

Oh, is Bill Duncan coming here?

Sure.

He comes right in here, and
he says, asked for it, Jim.

And... right in the nose!

Then you'll fall over
there in this direction.

Oh.

I'd better remove this so
you don't cut your head.

Because if you cut
your head, we will

Have to put a bandage
on it, and we don't

Want to be bothered with that.

Naturally not.

You think that's the way
it'll happen, do you?

Why not?

It happened that way before,
and it'll happen that way again.

And you like the idea?

Oh, I think it will
be a lot of fun.

Yeah.

Well, I'm going to bed.

What?

I'm going to bed.

I've had a very tiring day.

But I can't stay here.

I have nothing...

You can find everything
you'll need in that room there.

Pajamas in the dresser,
and slippers under the bed.

But I want to go
back to New York!

Oh.

Oh, that's very simple.

You just take this road down
here, turn to your left.

It's 86 miles, and you ought
to be able to make it in about,

Uh... four days on foot.

If you don't take
me back, I'll scream.

Go ahead.

Pretty good.

Try it again.

Good.