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1
00:00:00,913 --> 00:00:02,089
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,284
[GUNSHOTS]
3
00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:27,201
It's me, Yosemite Sam,
4
00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:29,594
the greatest train robber
that ever lived.
5
00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:32,641
And I'm here to rob
this fancy new train.
6
00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:35,470
All righty, sir.
Have you got a ticket?
7
00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:37,472
Get that dust
out of your ears, old timer.
8
00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:39,343
Did you hear me say who I am?
9
00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:42,085
I ain't ridin' this train,
I'm robbin' it.
10
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:45,349
Oh, not this train, fella.
This here is a bullet train.
11
00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:47,177
Too fast to rob.
12
00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:49,571
There ain't a train that been
invented that I can't rob.
13
00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:50,789
What time's it a-comin'?
14
00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:51,877
Noon.
15
00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:55,664
-High noon, perfect.
-[TRAIN BEEPS]
16
00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:04,020
-So, where is it?
-It just went by.
17
00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:05,369
"Just went by"?
18
00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:08,372
I didn't see nothing.
[GROANS]
19
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:10,766
-That's the 12:01.
-[GROANS]
20
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:15,336
[BLUBBERING] 12:01?
What time's the next one?
21
00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:16,380
-[TRAIN BEEPS]
-Ugh!
22
00:01:17,468 --> 00:01:19,557
That's the 12:02.
23
00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:21,385
-[TRAIN BEEPS]
-[GROANS]
24
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,781
-That's the 12:03.
-Ugh...
25
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:26,912
[BLUBBERING]
26
00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:28,958
Are there any more?
27
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,916
-Nope.
-Phew!
28
00:01:31,003 --> 00:01:32,918
-[GROANS]
-[TRAIN BEEPS]
29
00:01:33,963 --> 00:01:35,878
Until the 12:04.
30
00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:41,536
If you wanna go as fast
as a bullet train,
31
00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:43,233
you gotta be a bullet.
32
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,453
[TRAIN BEEPS]
33
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:48,934
There she blows! Yee...
34
00:01:49,021 --> 00:01:50,066
[LOUD BANG]
35
00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,676
...haw.
36
00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,591
[GRUNTS AND GROANS]
37
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:57,552
Why are folks
still advertising
38
00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:59,684
on billy-boards
when you got the Internet?
39
00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:02,122
-Gall darn it!
-[TRAIN BEEPS]
40
00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:06,952
[MUMBLING]
41
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:11,218
This time everything's
gonna go...
42
00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:13,263
[GROANS]
43
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,396
Consarn it!
[GRUNTS]
44
00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:16,745
Hmm, no good helmet!
45
00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:18,094
[TRAIN BEEPS]
46
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:23,621
Razzle-frazzle,
brick building, no-good...
47
00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:24,709
[CHUCKLES]
48
00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:25,841
[GROANS]
49
00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:30,454
Oh, you, consarn it!
50
00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,587
-[SCREAMS]
-[TRAIN BEEPS]
51
00:02:34,806 --> 00:02:36,243
Whoa! [GROANS]
52
00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:37,592
Huh-uh.
53
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:40,072
It's not too late.
It's coming back.
54
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,988
Just gotta point the cannon
in the other direction.
55
00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:45,861
Whoa! [GROANING]
56
00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:49,865
You sure you don't wanna
just buy a ticket?
57
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:51,301
[GROANS]
58
00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:55,740
[LAUGHS]
59
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:58,047
If I can't get onboard
this here train,
60
00:02:58,134 --> 00:02:59,962
I'll blow it to smithereens.
61
00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:01,442
-[TRAIN HALTS]
-[DYNAMITE TICKING]
62
00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:02,747
Huh?
63
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,706
What the...
64
00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:07,012
Oh, you no-good
razzle-frazzle...
65
00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:08,449
[GROANS]
66
00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:09,754
-[MUTTERS]
-[DYNAMITE EXPLODES]
67
00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:11,321
No-good dynamite...
68
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,497
-[DYNAMITE EXPLODES]
-[GRUNTS AND GROANS]
69
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:17,806
[TRAIN BEEPS]
70
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:19,590
If at first you don't succeed,
71
00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:21,766
try a rocket-powered
motorcycle.
72
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,942
[TRAIN BEEPS]
73
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:26,293
[ENGINE REVVING]
74
00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,341
[BUTTON CLICKS]
75
00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:37,739
[YOSEMITE SAM LAUGHS]
76
00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:43,875
Here she comes now.
77
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:45,225
[SNIGGERING]
78
00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:46,269
[TRAIN BEEPS]
79
00:03:47,618 --> 00:03:49,577
The old ball and train gag.
80
00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:50,926
[GROANS]
81
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:54,625
I did not see that...
Come on, now!
82
00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:56,975
[GROANS]
83
00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:59,674
I know what I'll do.
I'll jump on top of the train.
84
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:02,764
This will require
impeccable timing.
85
00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:04,635
One... two...
86
00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:06,420
No! [GROANS]
87
00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:08,552
No, no, no, no!
Ow!
88
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:09,858
[GROANING]
89
00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:11,163
[TRAIN BEEPS]
90
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,297
[GROANING]
91
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:16,604
Ow, my biscuits!
92
00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:19,607
[SIGHS] Okay,
that was a tad early.
93
00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:22,305
This time,
I'll get it just right.
94
00:04:22,392 --> 00:04:23,567
-Hu-ha!
-[TRAIN BEEPS]
95
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:26,135
Yosemite Sam
has done it... Ugh!
96
00:04:27,484 --> 00:04:29,530
[GROGGILY] Tunnel.
97
00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:30,574
[THUD]
98
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:34,317
[GROANS]
99
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:35,362
[TRAIN BEEPS]
100
00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:39,366
What is happening?
101
00:04:39,453 --> 00:04:40,845
-[TRAIN BEEPS]
-[GROANS]
102
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,547
Come on, come on!
103
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:47,983
[TRAIN BEEPS]
104
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,593
[GRUNTS AND GROANS]
105
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,425
[GROANS] Ooh!
106
00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:02,737
All right,
I'll buy my ticket.
107
00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:07,002
And then, I'mma rob it
from the inside.
108
00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:08,960
Can you break a 100?
109
00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:10,919
Nope.
110
00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:14,618
Razzle-frazzle!
Lousy transportation industry!
111
00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:19,928
[YOSEMITE SAM COUGHS]
112
00:05:20,015 --> 00:05:22,322
-BUGS: Ticket, please?
-Here.
113
00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:24,759
Thank you very much, Doc.
114
00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:26,064
[BLUBBERING] You?
115
00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:28,110
You're the one
driving this train?
116
00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:30,286
That's right, Doc.
Next time you wanna rob me,
117
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:32,549
I would train first.
118
00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:34,986
Now, let me just stash
your belongings.
119
00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:36,423
-[TRAIN BEEPS]
-[SCREAMS]
120
00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:42,211
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
121
00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:45,345
[STAMMERS]
Thanks for calling.
122
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:48,130
Porky Pig speaking.
How can I help you?
123
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:49,827
Oh, I'm extremely sorry.
124
00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:51,394
We don't have any openings
until after the...
125
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:53,048
[STAMMERS] ...the 21st.
126
00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:54,528
Yes, that's century.
127
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,486
MAN: Hey, Porky the Pig!
128
00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:57,705
Yes, I'm coming!
129
00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,228
[PANTING]
130
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,406
-Yes, sir.
-The menu is done.
131
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,103
Everything is perfecto!
132
00:06:05,190 --> 00:06:07,279
The restaurant,
she opens in 30 minutes.
133
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,630
So I'm gonna go foraging
for mushrooms.
134
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,675
Keep your eyes peeled
for deliveries.
135
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:14,025
And don't
mess up the place, huh?
136
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:15,549
I'm just kidding you.
137
00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:17,855
I know
you're a good little piggy.
138
00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:20,684
[MENACINGLY]
Aren't you, Piggy?
139
00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:22,512
Aren't you?
140
00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:25,341
All right now, Porky.
141
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,865
No need to be nerv...
[STAMMERING]
142
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:30,346
Just calm down.
143
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:33,088
-[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-[SQUEALS]
144
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:36,831
VOICE FROM BOX:
Help! Help! Let me out!
[WHIMPERS]
145
00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:38,789
Gee, now that's fresh.
146
00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:40,661
Thanks, pal.
147
00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:42,097
I almost suffocated in there.
148
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:45,056
Oh, dear. We couldn't
have you suffocate
149
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,232
before we have you for dinner.
150
00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:50,279
Now, that is what
I'm talking about, dinner!
151
00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:51,846
Set me up, bub!
152
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,500
I'm starving.
153
00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:57,112
Oh, you're not having dinner.
You are dinner, see?
154
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:59,244
But, they told me
I was heading
155
00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:00,942
to a relaxing spa weekend
156
00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:05,120
at an animal sanctuary
because I'm so special.
157
00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:06,687
[STAMMERING] No, no, no.
158
00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:09,733
Animal Sanctuary
is the name of the restaurant.
159
00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:12,997
-And you're the special.
-So that's how it is?
160
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:16,392
I gotta say,
that idea is all wet!
161
00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:18,263
[CHEERS MANICALLY]
162
00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:19,874
[STAMMERS] Come back!
163
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:22,050
You're the main course.
164
00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:25,053
-Well, I say, "Nuts to that!"
-[CHOKING]
165
00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:28,404
How's about a little fiber
in your diet? Whoo-hoo!
166
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:29,927
[EXCLAIMING]
167
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:34,671
Greetings. Welcome
to Animal Sanctuary.
168
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:36,978
Hey! That podium is not a toy.
169
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:40,764
-[STAMMERS]
Get your own, Duck.
-This one's mine.
170
00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:44,594
-[PANTS]
All right, now see here.
-Honk, honk.
171
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:47,118
[GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION]
Just gimme that!
172
00:07:47,205 --> 00:07:50,121
Who's the pig I gotta grease
to get a table around here?
173
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:52,254
[STAMMERS]
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
174
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:53,385
I'll seat you immediate...
175
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,127
[STAMMERING] ...promptly.
176
00:07:58,347 --> 00:07:59,783
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
I've been here 15 minutes,
177
00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:01,785
and I have
yet to receive a menu.
178
00:08:01,872 --> 00:08:04,614
Oh... [STAMMERS]
Sorry, ma'am.
179
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:07,225
Thank you.
180
00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:10,359
Garcon!
There are flies in my soup
181
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:12,013
My apologies, sir. I...
182
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:15,103
I ordered crickets,
and I didn't even order soup!
183
00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:18,672
Listen here, buckaroo!
If you can't fill me up soon,
184
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:20,761
I'm gonna fill you up
with lead.
185
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:21,849
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
186
00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:24,155
[STAMMERS] In a moment, sir.
187
00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:27,028
[ALL SPEAKING TOGETHER]
188
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,728
-Hey there, chuckles!
-Huh.
189
00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,643
You look like a man
who eats alone.
190
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:36,516
I've got
the perfect spot for you.
191
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,866
Here we are.
Table for one.
192
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:42,173
And I assume
you won't be needing
this chair...
193
00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:44,872
-or this table.
-[GRUNTS AND GROANS]
194
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,441
-[SHRIEKS] Ow!
-Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
195
00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,445
Welcome to the john, ham.
196
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,535
Would you care
for some talcum powder?
197
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:56,971
[INHALES SHARPLY]
198
00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:59,930
-[COUGHS AND GRUNTS]
-Maybe some cologne.
199
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,672
Perhaps a mint.
200
00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:07,547
[SCREAMS] Stop!
You're not the...
201
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:10,288
[STAMMERS] You're not
the bathroom attendant.
202
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:13,509
You're the duck
we're serving for dinner.
203
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:17,557
Tsk-tsk-tsk.
204
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:20,647
I have worked here
for eight years
205
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,910
and you don't even know me?
206
00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:27,088
I guess to you,
all us ducks
look the same.
207
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:31,222
-Then, where did he go?
-I'd try door number one.
208
00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:33,137
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Privacy, please!
209
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:35,662
[STAMMERS]
There's no time for privacy.
210
00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:37,098
Where is the rest of him?
211
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,449
Well, now I'm just puzzled.
212
00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:45,106
-You look a little flushed.
-Ah...
213
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:47,935
[EXCLAIMS]
It really was me.
214
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:49,589
[EXCLAIMS]
215
00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:56,596
All right, you!
Time to get in the pan!
216
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:59,729
No, it's time for you
to get in the pan.
217
00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,557
[EXCLAIMING]
218
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,864
Okay, folks.
There's 50 ways
to cook a pig.
219
00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:06,562
You can bake it, broil it,
grill it, braise it,
pickle it, tickle it...
220
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,085
Do as you please with it.
221
00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:11,567
My restaurant, it's trashed!
222
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:14,744
Porky, you're fired!
223
00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:18,095
[STAMMERS] Fired?
224
00:10:18,182 --> 00:10:22,491
[SOBBING]
225
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:26,277
Wait, you're the one
who wants to make me
for dinner?
226
00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:29,280
But, of course,
it's called Animal Sanctuary.
227
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:32,849
It's a nice, quiet place
you can come and eat animals.
228
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:35,112
But now it is ruined!
229
00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:38,159
Brother, you are
one hot-blooded chef.
230
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:40,814
You need to chill out.
231
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:42,859
Whoo-hoo!
232
00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:45,775
Now, that's what I call
Italian ice.
233
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:47,864
Whoo-hoo!
234
00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:49,257
What are we gonna do now?
235
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:50,345
What do you say
we open up
236
00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:51,825
a vegetarian joint together?
237
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:55,306
[STAMMERS]
You got a... Shake on it.
238
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,569
Well, I guess,
that's all, folks.
239
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,660
-Hey, that's my line...
-Shh.
16086
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