Original subtitles

Good afternoon. I'm looking for a house in the country.

I saw your advertisement in the paper.

My name is Eric Sange.

Come in.

I hope I haven't got the wrong address.

It's the only house around here.

I'll just take a quick look around.

- Is it difficult to heat? - Terribly.

No-one wants to live here all the year round.

And with the airport so close...

Does that bother you?

No, I'd completely forgotten about it.

You can't hear a thing in the village.

And then, why not?

I could use some noise around me,

so as not to lose touch completely with the town.

Are you staying at the hotel?

If you can call it a hotel.

But I don't mind. I like the region.

I hope to come back here regularly.

- In the winter? - Whenever I feel like it.

London is much more depressing.

Have you been here long?

Too long.

- What's over here? - Go up.

Shit! Mind the step. It's needed repairing for centuries.

My name is Ariane.

- Very apt. - Why?

You could always go to the beach,

if you're bored, and the weather's fine.

I hate the sun.

- And I don't like crowds. - Why live here?

Lying for hours on a dirty beach,

with some brat clambering over you. Awful!

You're absolutely right.

What's more, we English can't bear the sun.

We haven't seen this room yet, have we?

No. Don't go in there.

Hello? Ariane?

Hello?

Are you here to see the house?

No. I'd like to see Miss Ariane.

- Well. And who are you? - Eric Sange. She knows me.

We'll see. Wait there.

This way, please.

Mr Sange?

- The writer? - Yes.

I'm Agathe.

Sit down.

I'm listening.

I came to see Ariane.

That's what Céleste told me, but I thought she'd misunderstood.

Céleste is a treasure, but a bit eccentric.

It's odd. There's no-one here of that name.

Perhaps you met her somewhere else?

You see so many faces when you're house-hunting.

It was certainly here.

It was Ariane who showed me round.

It was she who asked me to come back today.

I don't know what to say.

Yesterday, I had a visitor, a German businessman.

He liked it a lot, said it would be a good investment.

- I'm sure. But I must... - Insist?

No need. I'll show you the house myself.

The dining room.

Office, library, guest room...

Plenty of room, as you can see.

You can invite all your friends.

Or you could rent it out during the summer.

Here we are.

We don't heat this room, as you can tell.

We have to economise, too.

You see, there are fireplaces throughout.

A room.

Another room.

Suppose I were to describe that room to you.

If I told what is in there and in what condition,

would you believe me then?

- You could try. - Fine.

Colour... yellow. Or rather faded orange.

There was a mattress on the floor by the window.

A large mirror with an old photograph.

One moment... Ah, yes.

There was mould by the left of the door.

It might be a good idea to get that fixed before selling the house.

I don't know what you were doing yesterday afternoon,

but I was being shown around this house.

In the company of Miss Ariane.

- Incredible. - What?

I'd always hoped such things could happen, but it's incredible.

Come on, Céleste is waiting.

- Waiting? - The tea.

Hurry up, I want to tell her all about it.

She had a dreamy air,

but it may have been the lace dress that suggested that.

At the same time, there was something perverse

even dissolute, about her.

Yes, she had a slightly lascivious look.

Each gesture, each inflection was a bit

how shall I say, over-emphatic.

She thought highly of herself, but at the same time

she was introverted, unable to cope with daily life.

As if she felt obliged to act out a part...

Oh, what lovely details!

Unfortunately, I don't know her.

And yet you're wearing the same shoes she had.

Really? It shows she must have taste.

You have to find this creature.

Supposing we tried a séance?

We've got a table that would be perfect.

And Céleste would be a great medium.

Don't laugh.

I'm sure we can reach her, even make her appear.

Thank you and goodbye.

Mr Sange...

You know what we'll do?

Come back in an hour. I'll be out shopping.

I'll arrange for Céleste to be outside, so you'll be alone.

Perhaps.

You can search for your mysterious creature.

- But there's a condition. - What?

- 70 million. - What?

You don't think that's a reasonable price?

There's no concrete and glass and flats everywhere.

It's perfect for a writer. Remote but not too much.

Just 40 minutes from Clermont-Ferrand.

70 million! It's a nice house, but...

I know, the aeroplanes.

After a few days, you won't even notice them.

My Prussian seemed to find the price very reasonable.

And besides, you're a successful writer.

We'll discuss it later, after your rendez-vous. Tomorrow.

Yes.

But you haven't given me the key.

Look in your pocket.

Show Mr Sange the way, Céleste.

Yes, Madame.

What are you doing here?

It's the most desolate part of the house.

Not for me. It's the only place I feel comfortable.

In the dark and the emptiness?

I closed the curtains to keep out this oppressive daylight.

But it's not empty at all.

It's the room I had as a child.

This is where I lived.

Surrounded by pictures of friends...

Excuse me, your Majesty, but I must introduce you.

Permit me, sire,

to present the Baroness d'Aquila.

There's a costumed ball tonight, your Majesty.

Don't be shocked if the baroness comes as Salome.

She's getting on a bit.

And if she wears

a solitary ruby in her left ear.

while Jean Destiné

wears his earring on the right.

And his noble young cousin

wears a marvellous knife handle on his heart.

The Princess of Prague...

has a splendid frontlet

of an extraordinary red.

She's crazy about it.

But one who isn't red at all

is the little Balatin...

Stop all this.

You know what we're going to do?

We're going to have a look around the forbidden room,

which appears to frighten you so much.

My God.

There you are, M Eric.

Are you buying the house?

Don't you agree it's a unique property?

Isn't this a bit too much for two people?

It's not too much for four.

How did you come to live here alone?

Experience. That's what counts in life.

You look pale, M Eric.

Had a good look around?

You'll see. We're from Vichy, here.

Although...

There are surprises every day.

Just look at those tomatoes!

What the hell do I care about your tomatoes?

I want you to tell me what's going on here.

They didn't look like that in the catalogue.

- The thieves! - Do you live here or not?

You surely know what this is all about.

The flowers in the garden...

are sad every night...

It's very sad that the garlic won't grow in this soil.

Do you like garlic?

The things I could tell you...

Things that no-one could dream of.

This house...

I knew it! No, don't turn round.

She's watching from the window.

She mustn't know were talking.

Listen...

Come back tonight, when everyone's asleep.

I'll leave the service entrance open.

I'll wait for you in the kitchen.

- You'll know everything. - What time?

Eleven.

The flowers in the garden are sad every night...

It's better that I speak to him myself.

Those girls might say anything.

You never know with creatures like that.

But then... What should I say?

Certainly not the whole truth. He'd never believe it.

My violence is an act.

What I am, what I think, secret things, virginity...

Stop it, please. Tell me what you think.

So you think I'm not what I am?

No, because if so, I'd think so too.

You'd think you're not what you are.

You win, Madame.

Come and help me, ladies.

It's going to rain. We have to get the washing in.

This house used to belong to my parents.

My father was quite rich.

And while he lived we lacked for nothing.

But he didn't have a head for business.

And you know, the horses...

When he died, he left more debts than you can imagine.

So everything had to be sold. Even the house.

That must have been very difficult for you.

May I offer you some wine?

No, let me get it. Where is it?

Do you often think of him?

Never. It would be too sad.

No. I was very lucky to be able to stay.

There's a lot of work,

but it's like working for myself.

- Are you paid regularly? - Of course.

Why do you ask?

I thought they had money problems.

Well, they aren't rich.

THEY? THEY aren't rich?

So there are two?

Leave at once!

Where does their money come from?

No, I've said too much.

Too much? You've said nothing at all.

Tell me everything.

First, how did they get the money to buy this house?

- Tell me! - They didn't buy it.

When my father died, it was put up for sale.

Someone bought it. I never saw who. They never came here.

It was the father of one of the girls, I think.

And when he died, they inherited it.

The debts, too.

It was the same story again.

There! That's all there is.

Now you know. So please go away.

How many other "customers" have you tried this on?

What the hell do you care?

- Are you a policeman? - Answer the question.

Listen. Who'd want to live here?

We're in the middle of nowhere.

It's too big. That's why it's been on sale for so long.

- Who'd want to live here? - I'm asking the questions.

Tell me, how do they make a living?

What kind of work does Ariane do?

Oh, I don't know.

I hardly see a penny of it.

Oh, it's nothing to do with me.

I'm beginning to understand.

No need to get upset.

I may have gone a bit far.

Yes, you did a little.

You gave me a fright.

Since I'm thinking of buying the house,

your employers will soon have plenty of income.

But it won't be as easy as they hoped.

And you, Céleste, if you want to remain here...

What must I do?

Tomorrow you're going to help me put a few things straight.

Listen carefully...

The light bothers you.

I think I should start by telling you about my little ghost hunt.

Is that really necessary, Mr Sange?

You think we can just ignore it?

- I already have several offers. - Really?

Two, in particular, are very interesting.

So why wait?

Attack on several fronts. It's very simple.

- Do you really need these? - Do you?

Don't be nosey. We're talking business.

- You started it. - Hello...

Is this for Céleste?

Change of plan. Come on, it's your turn.

- I'm not ready. - Hurry. Get dressed.

Help me.

Are we going to talk business or not?

That's what I want to do.

But these lies, these stories about the house.

Let's drop all the sales patter about the other buyers.

A German industrialist indeed!

The other stocking!

Do you really think you can fool someone

with this little game of hide-and-seek?

I know you're poor and that life is hard, but even so...

I know what you are. You're a sex maniac.

Let me go, and get out.

No, that's not what I meant.

Let's just sit down and discuss the contract.

We'll have time for that tomorrow with the solicitor.

We'll settle on a more reasonable price.

But I'm not sure it's a good idea

to have that slut wandering around on the first floor.

That sort of trick doesn't work with everyone.

I don't understand.

No? Your game fell apart too quickly.

It's too childish, too tiresome.

Even with two girls as charming as you, Agathe,

and you, Ariane.

Céleste, you're perfect.

I was just about to call you.

I wondered how Agathe would get out of this.

You are truly unbelievable.

I didn't expect you to go so far,

with such a hare-brained scheme.

You're very clever.

- How did you find out? - It wasn't difficult.

Seeing Ariane again yesterday, I understood everything.

What happened? Tell me everything.

All right. But it's hard to know where to start.

You're a writer, aren't you? Start at the beginning.

You arrived as agreed...

I went up to the door.

I opened it.

There was no creak, no sinister noises.

OK, you opened it. But you didn't find her right away.

No. I searched all the ground floor rooms.

Oh, you're impossible. We'll never get to the end.

You went up.

I found her on the first floor, in the orange room.

We spoke, or rather she spoke, very vaguely.

Mysteriously.

About people whom you never knew existed.

Exactly.

I was impatient, furious with her, and with you, too.

I dragged her to your room.

Downstairs, by her wrist.

She struggled, but not much. She undressed quickly,

so that you could see her naked like a whore.

She came closer, she pressed herself against me,

and kissed me.

She unzipped you,

and took out your cock, which swelled in her hands.

She went down on her knees.

She started to rub you, like a whore.

She licked your balls.

She said, "Fuck me!"

Me... me...

I undressed her completely.

I kissed her.

I tasted her saliva in my mouth.

She bit your tongue.

And said, "Do it!"

She threw her head back.

And tasted your tongue.

And then your cock in her throat.

She cried out softly,

and asked for more.

Her voice became higher...

...more childlike.

More childlike.

Moaning and licking,

you bit her all over.

And you fucked her.

Suddenly you were completely inside her.

She thrust against you,

her body tensing.

You moved faster.

Then...

You came together...

She was full of your juice...

Crying out...

I am not what I am and you are not what I want...

I'm very upset

that I wasn't told everything.

Don't worry about it.

Now that I've decided to buy the house,

we'll remove Ariane from her purgatory.

I won't deny this game of ghosts has been amusing,

but we're grown-ups.

It's you... you interest me enormously.

You're going to stay here with me. That's an order.

If you wish. We'll meet tomorrow at the solicitor's.

Excellent.

- Until tomorrow. - Until tomorrow, Eric.

Was it you who sent Céleste to me?

Are you crazy? This is between Eric and Madame.

I've had about enough of this.

It was you who wanted to come.

You said it would be like a paid holiday.

Yes, but it's gone on too long.

It's cold in here.

- You want some? - No.

Why did you agree to stay with him?

If I'd refused, it would have dragged things out.

Well, fortunately, it'll only take a few days.

You drink too much, Agathe. You'll get fat.

- You think so? - Yes, I'm sure.

Well, I have to be going.

My agent says he has some work for me.

You poor dear. You really believe that?

We need money to leave here.

Shit. I'm hungry. You coming? Shall we eat?

- Yeah. - The day's work is over.

Can I phone London from here?

- Anything to drink? - Calva, please.

A Calva for the gentleman.

- This place needs tidying. - Very good, Madame.

Mme Céleste. Such diligence.

But there's not much to do.

Everything's fine, and I'm very happy with the way...

There's not much time.

I can't find it.

With this, I'll look a bit more sophisticated.

What were you saying just now about my lips?

That you weren't doing it right. I'll show you.

- He's nice, isn't he? - Yes.

I think so.

Shh. How can I do your lips if you're talking?

Anyway, he's better than the guy last summer.

Before, you were saying you didn't like him.

Yes, but things have changed.

It bothers me that I have to sign this contract.

Is that OK? Not too much red?

What could go wrong?

The solicitor is crazy about Céleste.

He'd set himself on fire with it if she asked him to.

Have you seen how he looks at her?

Madame is ravishing today.

What are these horrible marks?

And on such a nice wall!

That won't do at all.

Everything has to be clean now.

There, nice and clean.

There, dear.

Today, we'll have a new master.

And all thanks to whom?

I know, I know.

It's terrible to feel all dirty, and to be unable to do anything.

I know, you need a thorough clean.

But I can't. I'm too busy.

In a few days. I promise.

The best thing about your bedroom is the alcove.

I'm sure you'll want to rearrange everything.

Not really.

- The onions. - Strange.

Now where's the vinegar?

Very strange.

And maybe children some day.

What's strange?

They accepted a relatively low price.

It's not the money they're interested in.

What did you say?

It's not the money they're interested in.

The chimney's drawing very well, isn't it?

I've just had it cleaned.

There's something else, and I have to find out what.

Our new master seemed preoccupied.

He had too much on his mind.

But I knew everything would turn out well.

We were there to help him.

During dinner, for example,

a few ideas, for them to suggest to him.

- Good evening. - Oh, my word!

It was so nice of you to invite us.

I'm dying of hunger. What are we eating?

That!

Céleste will show us how to cook it in the American style.

There's nothing easier.

- That's good, because with shellfish... - Crustaceans!

With the pollution and everything...

That's the risk that lobsters take. He looks fine, doesn't he?

In any case, I want to see that it's well boiled.

My cruelty only extends to eating it.

It's Céleste, thank God, who'll perform the massacre.

Oh, well that shouldn't be a problem.

Madame has a skilful hand at that kind of thing.

She can cut a lobster in six pieces in the blink of an eye,

and pull the head off a chicken.

It won't be like the executions in Baghdad.

She never missed one while she was out there.

- You saw beheadings? - Dozens, of course.

Not dozens, but a few.

Ariane couldn't take it, but I found it... interesting.

It's all very quick, unfortunately.

The condemned man is on his knees, then suddenly - Boom!

He falls over, silently. Without his head, of course.

The reaction of the crowd is unbelievable.

The victim's family want revenge on the family of the condemned.

What morbid taste you have.

- One of your hidden charms. - Mr Sange, I'm not morbid.

What were you doing out there?

Ariane's boyfriend was someone important in Baghdad.

While I'm cooking the lobster you can be starting on the salad.

Eric, will you help me, please?

- Will you do as he wants? - I'm doing what I can.

There should be a drum roll.

- There. - How horrible!

It's quite simple, Mr Eric.

- Here's the lobster. - American style.

Sit down and join us, Madame Céleste.

- I need to undress. - Some wine?

With pleasure.

You were talking just now about synthesis in crime novels.

- I thought I was boring you. - It's so passionate.

It's our ability to produce...

a combination of elements that are apparently incompatible.

Of course, one must keep within what is plausible.

Without that, the reader will throw his book in the bin.

But we want the maximum diversity in the ingredients.

So... there is great pleasure in finding that the culprit

is a little girl, or an old crippled woman,

or an impassive housekeeper.

All crimes are made up of ingredients which,

at first sight, seem to rule themselves out.

Ingredients that are too unlikely or unexpected.

Like the orang-utan in Le Crime de la rue Morgue.

Exactly. In that case, it's a little too implausible.

A monkey that comes down the chimney. That's too much!

Don't you find it's best when it's freshly killed?

- Have some more. - No, thank you.

But I have to say that you sent it to the afterlife with an expert touch.

Tell me, have you read Wilkie Collins?

I've read them all.

Which do you prefer?

- I get them all mixed up. - Well I never.

How about you?

Oh, yes.

Would you like some cheese? I have some very good goat.

Gruyère, too.

And some Cantal.

Oh, there's no cake.

Stop being so childish.

Yes, we do have cakes, and fruit...

Could you try to behave yourselves?

Thank you, Mr Eric.

Why did you say I was morbid?

- Excuse me? - I love life.

Even in its worst moments. That's all.

You're a writer. Like me, you must enjoy...

observing.

I'm tired. Is my room ready?

Oh, I'm sorry. I was so busy, I completely forgot.

Don't worry. Just tell me where to find the bedlinen.

I won't hear of it. It's my job to look after you.

One thing, at least, was certain.

He was off on a new track.

And it was necessary to encourage him.

There!

As you can see, it has all mod cons.

It'll be quicker if I help.

When are they leaving?

They don't know where to go.

With all the money they have now?

I don't want to speak out of turn,

but they say one thing and do another.

They're so strange!

Yes, they are odd.

But that's what interests me.

But at last, I think I've found...

What?

You know, I underestimated her

Who? Miss Agathe?

Yes.

At first, it was the other. She seemed the more strange.

And Agathe, by comparison, was more down-to-earth.

I never suspected.

Were you watching her during dinner, Céleste?

Yes.

But, you know, with this sale... She worries me.

Tonight, in the kitchen...

She seemed... voracious.

What do you make of her tales of executions?

Well, you know, things work differently in that country.

It's not like over here.

She took such pleasure

in describing what she wanted to see.

She fascinates me.

She spies on us.

She hides, but she sees everything.

Like the other day, in the garden.

Even now, she has her methods.

What do you mean?

Tricks, secret passageways.

Oh, yes!

I often heard about them when I was little.

They were constructed during the Revolution.

Hiding places, hidden stairways, between the walls...

I never found them myself, but she knows them.

- And little rooms? - Oh, yes.

Tiny little rooms here and there.

That's where she hides and watches us.

- How? Through the keyholes? - No.

Through two-way mirrors.

- Goodnight, Céleste. - Sleep well, Mr Eric.

I drank too much.

I feel awful. I'm fed up.

Give me the ticket.

Now let me sleep.

Just as I thought.

Agathe! We have to act tonight.

Tonight?

You must be joking.

What's going on?

What are you waiting for?

She doesn't want to do anything.

This isn't the time, young lady.

I've brought everything you need.

There's not a moment to lose.

- Can't it wait till tomorrow? - Tomorrow?

Tomorrow you'll be a long way from here.

Already?

You know that there's no other choice.

If it was up to me...

Well, I don't want to. Do it without me.

If you don't do as you're told, you'll be the sole culprit.

And I can guarantee you'll pay dearly.

You heard what she said? So hurry up.

I don't give a damn!

Listen. We were hired. It's like a contract.

I don't care.

You get dressed, and we carry on.

Shit! Can you help me with all these buttons?

Why can't I take your place for once?

Are you nuts? Why?

- We've never done that. - Why not?

Are you completely stupid? What are you doing?

You always take these things too seriously.

What could happen? He's not a monster.

Why should you be the only one to have fun?

I can't believe you've fallen in love with Eric. It's ridiculous.

Why not? I do as I please, after all.

One more reason to give all this up.

Let's leave tonight.

We can't. We haven't been paid. What can we do without money?

Anyway, I'm staying.

Because if I love him, as you say, I can't leave him alone.

I have to talk to him, explain it to him.

And tonight is the right moment, I'm sure of it.

I'll take your role, and you take my place behind the scenes. OK?

Please, Ariane. Listen to me.

I have a plan. Everything with be fine.

No.

Ariane...

What are you doing here?

Eric, listen. It's very important.

We have to run away together.

There's great danger if you stay here.

I have a plan... for later.

Who would have thought it?

That was quite an idea of hers, to switch places with Ariane.

Now he had to abandon all his theories,

and replace them with a single question:

On which side of the mirror was he standing?

If it were done, when 'tis done,

then 'twere well it were done quickly.

If the assassination could trammel up the consequence,

and catch, with his surcease, success;

but that this blow might be the be-all and the end-all,

here, but here, upon this bank and shoal of time,

we'd jump the life to come.

But in these cases we still have judgement here;

that we but teach bloody instruction,

which being taught, returns to plague the inventor.

He's here in double trust.

First...

Would you tell Miss Ariane that I'd like to see her.

You want to see her here?

No. Tell her I'll be on the first floor. She'll understand.

Hello. I'm tidying up. Did you sleep well?

No.

There's no need to look so grumpy.

Why not?

Eric, would you pass me that album, please?

Oh, what a mood!

Here it is. All my stuff.

I've always liked cutting out articles.

They're like souvenirs.

Those three albums are all souvenirs of Baghdad.

In the movies, this would be the moment

the girl announces that she adores the silent type.

Don't you think it's a bit early in the day to start fucking?

That's not what I was thinking.

My dear Eric, you're ranting.

You shouldn't spoil other people's day

just because you got out of bed on the wrong side.

That's the last straw.

All your tales of Baghdad...

All these commonplace...

Do you hear me, Agathe?

Do you see this? Do you like this?

I've had enough. Have you gone mad?

Shall we go over all the juicy details?

Eric, this is in very bad taste. You have no right to do that.

Now will you kindly leave. Because I'm very busy.

Busy? We haven't...

We haven't what? I don't give a damn!

Oh, but my little Ariane, if that really is your name,

you're in no position to take that tone with me.

Even if I'm acting in the worst possible taste.

What about your own dirty little habits?

What?

Don't bother to deny it. Each one of you watching the other,

hiding behind the mirrors.

The mirrors? Yes, it's strange. There are mirrors everywhere.

You don't deny everything, then?

OK, that's enough. Out of the way.

The poor thing. He was wrong again.

But how could he have guessed the truth?

Here. The cheque was cashed as you asked.

Well done.

- Go on. - No.

Don't lose heart, my dear.

For the next job, I'd like to be a redhead.

We'll never get this over if you just stand there.

Is everything packed away?

Look. You forgot this scarf.

It's Céleste's.

It's very beautiful. What a pity.

Come and sit down here.

Shit. It's always the same with this lock.

It never works.

Eric!

It's too late.

She'll always be stronger than us.

We mustn't get careless.

When is the train?

I'm sorry to bother you, Mr Eric.

Especially while you're working.

You were right about the secret passages,

but as for the mirrors, I'm not so sure.

I'm afraid I have some bad news.

- It's that... - They've left.

Yes. They just vanished.

They seemed to be in a hurry.

- Where did they go? - To Africa, I think.

- No address? - They didn't even say goodbye.

They travel a lot, you know. They may come back.

In fact, I'm sure they'll return.

They can't stay far away from here for long.

With your permission, of course.

I think I shall wait for them.

Mr Eric, I was in the village this morning.

There have been several long distance calls for you.

- Would you like to...? - No, later.

I'll deal with it later.

She'll be so happy!

So happy.

English subtitles by Kinsayder at KG.