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1
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[instrumental music]
2
00:00:04,352 --> 00:00:06,832
Oh, J.T.?
3
00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:08,704
Do you realize
what month it is?
4
00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:11,228
I don't know.
One of the cold ones?
5
00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:12,838
No, not just
one of the cold ones.
6
00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:15,319
It's February.
Do you know what that means?
7
00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:19,541
Yeah, it means this milk
is three weeks old.
8
00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:23,936
No, no, no. For-forget about
the milk for a second.
9
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,200
We promised Sam and Dana,
we'd take 'em on a ski trip
10
00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:28,028
next weekend.
11
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:31,074
- Oh, it's that February?
- Yeah, you bonehead.
12
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:32,728
Did you save any money
for it at all?
13
00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:34,904
Well, let's see, including what
I got in my checking account
14
00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:38,038
college fund
and savings and wallets
15
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:41,389
two dollars
and a coupon for a corn dog.
16
00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:42,825
Listen, man, don't sweat it.
17
00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:45,088
We promised Sam and Dana
that trip months ago.
18
00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:47,656
If we forgot about it,
maybe they forgot about it, too.
19
00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:51,442
Snow Mountain Inn, here we come.
20
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,532
Look, guys.
21
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,534
The ski shop at the mall
was a having a sale
22
00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:59,102
so we got everything we need
for our trip next week.
23
00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:01,061
Are you guys
as excited as we are?
24
00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:05,021
We're just dripping
with excitement.
25
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:07,023
- Yeah.
- Just dripping.
26
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:09,591
Look.
27
00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:12,550
We are totally outfitted.
28
00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,336
Snow bunnies.
29
00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:16,728
Sam.
30
00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:19,731
Sorry. Snow women.
31
00:01:19,818 --> 00:01:21,864
Hmm, but, honey, aren't you
gonna be a little cold
32
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,606
on the slopes in this?
I mean, gee..
33
00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:26,956
Put your tongue back
in your mouth, J.T.
34
00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:28,740
It's not mine.
It's a present.
35
00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:30,177
We got this
for our friend Becky.
36
00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:31,700
She's having a bridal shower
this weekend.
37
00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:34,746
Come on, Sam, let's go
try on all of our new stuff.
38
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:38,098
Great idea!
I can't wait to go skiing.
39
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:40,012
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, neither can we.
40
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,537
- Ah!
- We are excited!
41
00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:44,016
We are just pumped.
42
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:47,107
[laughs nervously]
We are screwed.
43
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,328
Don't sweat it, man.
We only need $400 a piece.
44
00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:52,895
There's gotta be a job
in here somewhere
45
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:53,983
where we can make
some quick money.
46
00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:55,506
[groans]
47
00:01:56,812 --> 00:01:58,901
Yup! Like this.
48
00:01:58,988 --> 00:02:00,685
Look, I hate to burst
your bubble, but I'm pretty sure
49
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:03,601
you need more formal training
to become a neurosurgeon.
50
00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:06,648
Not that, this! Look.
51
00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:07,997
"Club Booty proudly announces
52
00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:09,955
"its annual
male stripper contest.
53
00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:12,697
First prize, one thousand
bucks." That's it, that's it!
54
00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:15,091
That's how we're gonna
get the money.
55
00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:17,528
So you're saying
we should rob Club Booty?
56
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,664
No, I'm saying
we should become male strippers.
57
00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:26,363
Oh! I think we have a better
shot at becoming neurosurgeons.
58
00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:30,280
[theme song]
59
00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:32,369
♪ Step by step ♪
60
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:34,241
♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪
61
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,025
♪ A fresh start over ♪
62
00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:37,983
♪ A different hand to play ♪
63
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:39,898
♪ The deeper we fall ♪
64
00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:42,249
♪ The stronger we stay ♪
65
00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:44,120
♪ We'll make it better ♪
66
00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:46,601
♪ The second time around ♪♪
67
00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:49,560
[theme music]
68
00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:00,876
[instrumental music]
69
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:06,011
[doorbell rings]
70
00:03:06,098 --> 00:03:07,752
[sighs]
71
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:12,975
♪ Na-na-na-na-na ♪♪
72
00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,411
[laughing]
73
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:16,413
Lilly, that is
the third time today.
74
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:19,373
Now, knock it off.
75
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,026
[sighs]
76
00:03:22,027 --> 00:03:23,594
[doorbell rings]
77
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:26,510
Okay, okay,
now you are really in trouble
78
00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:27,903
you little..
79
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,557
Uh, reverend.
80
00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:31,994
Hi, Carol. Rough day?
81
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:34,170
Oh, I'm sorry.
82
00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:36,781
I usually don't scream at
close personal friends of God.
83
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:40,698
- Please, come in.
- I'd love to.
84
00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:43,397
Gosh, uh, I'm really sorry,
we missed church on Sunday
85
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:45,050
but if it does help,
we did catch
86
00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,052
"Touched By An Angel."
87
00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:48,619
Oh, me, too.
88
00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:51,448
That Roma Downey is a fox.
89
00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:53,537
Uh, uh, but I'm not here
to discuss TV.
90
00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:55,452
Oh, well, please then,
come on in, sit down.
91
00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,193
Oh, thanks, but I'm only
gonna stay a minute.
92
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,848
Carol, I've noticed over
the years that you and Frank
93
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:02,633
have one of the most stable,
loving relationships
94
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,287
in our congregation.
95
00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:06,507
You're kidding?
I-I mean, thank you.
96
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:11,599
And because of that I think you
two would make great role models
97
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:12,991
for some of the young couples
at our church
98
00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:14,471
who are planning
to get married.
99
00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:16,038
What could we do to help?
100
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:17,300
Well, I'd like to bring
three couples
101
00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:18,823
over Monday night,
let them learn
102
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:20,085
from you and Frank
what it takes
103
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:21,217
to keep a marriage together
104
00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:22,349
in today's world.
105
00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:23,872
Well,
Frank and I'd be thrilled.
106
00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:25,743
- We'll see you on Monday night.
- Great.
107
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,050
You know, if this works out
108
00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:30,357
we have a young parents
mentoring program
109
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,097
we'd like you to help us with
because you've raised
110
00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:34,448
some wonderful,
wonderfulchildren.
111
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,928
[sighs]
Well, thank you again.
112
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:41,106
♪ Na-na-na-na-na ♪♪
113
00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:42,673
[blowing raspberry]
114
00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:46,764
[chuckles]
115
00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,375
Neighbor kids.
116
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:52,335
[instrumental music]
117
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:55,904
Come on, Rich.
118
00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:57,558
Please don't make me
do this, man.
119
00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,037
Come on.
No, look, look, look.
120
00:04:59,124 --> 00:05:00,561
They're gonna,
they're gonna laugh at us.
121
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,476
What makes you say that?
122
00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:04,086
I've seen you naked.
123
00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:08,308
Lighten up, Rich.
We're in Port Washington.
124
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:09,961
How tough
can the competition be?
125
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,920
[indistinct chatter]
126
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:14,836
Okay, that's it.
Let's get out of here.
127
00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:15,967
Compared to this
herd of beef cake
128
00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,752
we're total losers.
129
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,842
No, we're not.
We're just different.
130
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:23,975
Just think of us
as the other white meat.
131
00:05:26,064 --> 00:05:28,153
Alright, gentlemen, listen up.
132
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,373
Hey, you two,
are you the plumbers I called
133
00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:32,419
for the backed-up toilet?
134
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:33,985
Wait, wait, wait.
We're not plumbers.
135
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:35,726
We're male strippers. Okay?
136
00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:38,555
We're eye candy, boy toys.
137
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,949
Every woman's fantasy.
138
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:43,517
But in case
you don't see us like that
139
00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:45,867
how much does,
uh, fixin' the toilet pay?
140
00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:47,521
Rich, forget the toilet, okay?
141
00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,523
Are you gonna allow us
to try out for this contest
142
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:50,959
or do we have to go
over your head?
143
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:52,700
Okay, alright.
144
00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:54,266
You wanna try out
for the contest?
145
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,877
Fine, be my guest.
146
00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:58,183
Gentlemen, strike the pose
and lose the clothes.
147
00:05:58,270 --> 00:06:00,055
Yes! Let me help you
get this off--
148
00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,839
Yeah, yeah,
I can do it myself.
149
00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,713
Alright, meat.
Listen up.
150
00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:08,803
This is the results.
151
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:10,892
'Number one, you're in.'
152
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:13,024
'Number two, goodbye.'
153
00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:16,941
'Number three and four,
you're good.'
154
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,595
'Number five'
155
00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:20,249
'go back to the farm.'
156
00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:24,340
'Number six, you're in.'
157
00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:26,081
'Number seven and eight.'
158
00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:29,911
Number seven and eight
159
00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:32,304
this is a strip show,
not a side show.
160
00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:35,612
'Get lost!'
161
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:37,614
W-w-w-wait,
what are you? Blind?
162
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,747
We're pros, we're practically
legends in this business.
163
00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,618
Have you ever heard
of a little town called Vegas?
164
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:43,098
- Yeah.
- So have we.
165
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:45,317
Can we be in the contest?
166
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,102
Hit the road, you morons.
167
00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:48,146
- Well, hold on, boss.
- What?
168
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:49,626
Why not put 'em in?
169
00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:50,671
They'll be good
for a couple of laughs.
170
00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,281
And besides, when they're on
171
00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:54,762
it'll give the chicks
a chance to go to the can.
172
00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:56,024
- Oh.
- Yeah.
173
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:58,679
Alright, Beavis and Butt-Head,
you're in.
174
00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:01,725
- Yes!
- Oh, my God.
175
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:04,685
[instrumental music]
176
00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:09,385
- Hi, honey.
- Hello, sweetie.
177
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:12,432
Oh, boy, do I have great news.
178
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:13,781
- Me, too. But you go first.
- Okay.
179
00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:14,956
You know Vinnie Grogan?
180
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:16,479
- My concrete guy?
- Uh-huh.
181
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:20,265
Well, he just got
a new 60-inch TV.
182
00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:22,833
And he invited a bunch
of us guys over to his place
183
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,314
to watch the Bucks-Bulls game
next Monday.
184
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:26,750
Isn't that great?
185
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:29,579
Absolutely, that's terrific.
But you can't go.
186
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:32,756
Uh, why can't I go?
187
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:35,237
Because Monday night,
Reverend Fielder is bringing
188
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,805
some engaged couples over here
so we can talk to them
189
00:07:37,892 --> 00:07:39,546
about how to have
a happy marriage.
190
00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:41,504
Yeah, well,
take my word for it, honey.
191
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:42,897
If I don't get to see this game
192
00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:44,855
we're not gonna have
a whole lot to talk about.
193
00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:47,989
But this thing is already set.
194
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,860
Yes, without asking me first.
195
00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:51,732
Honey, I've been lookin' forward
to this game.
196
00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:53,211
Look, I got
all stocked up for it.
197
00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:55,213
I got my double cheese nachos.
198
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,954
I, I got my imported beer
199
00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:59,479
and I got my purple
200
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:01,829
"Go, Bucks" big finger.
201
00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:05,049
Go Bucks! Go Bucks! Go Bucks!
202
00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:07,312
Bucks, Bucks, Bucks, Bucks.
203
00:08:08,357 --> 00:08:09,967
Bucks, Bucks, Bucks, Bucks.
204
00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:12,840
Bucks.
205
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:14,015
You know, I'm tempted
to tell you what to do
206
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:16,147
with that finger.
207
00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:17,758
Frank, it's just a game.
208
00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:19,716
I think you can give up
one night of basketball
209
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,370
to help do God's work.
210
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,807
Take it from me, God is gonna be
watchin' that game
211
00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:25,592
with the rest of us guys.
212
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:27,898
And I happen to know
he is a Bucks fan.
213
00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:30,945
Frank, the class
willbe here on Monday.
214
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,686
I promise the reverend
we would help him
215
00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:34,731
and I'm not gonna break
our promise.
216
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:36,777
Well, fine then,
you do whatever you wanna do.
217
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:39,736
I'm gonna be watchin' the game
on a 60-inch set.
218
00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:41,999
No, you're not,
you're gonna be here
219
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:43,914
and you're gonna be nice
and you're gonna smile.
220
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:46,134
You're gonna show those couples
what a happy marriage is like
221
00:08:46,221 --> 00:08:47,483
if it kills us both!
222
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:49,920
Well then,
we'll see about that, won't we?
223
00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:52,357
You know, jeez, you got me
so upset I forgot my finger.
224
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,927
Alright, come on.
225
00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:58,712
Give me the finger.
226
00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:02,803
[instrumental music]
227
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,547
[instrumental music]
228
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,604
Alright, feel the music.
229
00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:24,476
Yeah, feel that burn, baby.
Get into it, yes.
230
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,740
Alright, babe, we're gonna do
that belt thing on three, okay?
231
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:29,090
It's gonna drive the chicks
wild. On three, okay?
232
00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:31,571
- Yeah.
- One, two, three.
233
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,398
[both groan]
234
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:35,618
- Ow.
- Ow.
235
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,580
There's gotta be an easier way
to make some money.
236
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,756
We're not gonna win this
stupid contest.
237
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,322
[knocking on the door]
238
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:46,977
Oh, yes, we are,
because our secret weapon
239
00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:49,066
has just arrived.
240
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:51,025
- Our secret weapon?
- Yup.
241
00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:52,809
Behind this door..
242
00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:55,595
..is the world's greatest
living male stripper.
243
00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:03,124
Hi.
244
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:04,299
- Hey, J.T.
- Moose, what's up?
245
00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:06,954
Yeah.
246
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,913
What the hell is that?
247
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,134
Relax, that's Moose.
He works for my dad.
248
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:16,267
- As a male stripper?
- No, as a construction guy.
249
00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:18,182
But he used to be
a male stripper. Right, Moose?
250
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:20,750
Well, I hate to brag,
but, uh, 20 years ago
251
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,143
when I played Vegas
252
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:23,535
I had more money in my G-string
253
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,495
than all the crap tables
in town.
254
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:28,453
You guys ready to get down
with your..
255
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,586
...bad selves?
256
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:33,284
Absolutely, Moose. We're puttin'
ourselves totally in your hands.
257
00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:35,330
Well, that's good,
because I got more moves
258
00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:37,288
than United Van Lines.
259
00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:40,378
Uh, hit the music
260
00:10:40,465 --> 00:10:42,642
and, uh, do what I do.
261
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:45,645
[instrumental music]
262
00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:56,525
Oh, no, that's just stupid.
263
00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:59,571
Oh, come on.
There's no wayI'm doing that.
264
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:04,011
- Ugh.
- What did you just say?
265
00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:05,969
I said,
you're poetry in motion, sir.
266
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:09,190
That's what I thought you said.
267
00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:11,061
Now you shake your goofy..
268
00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:12,846
...or I'll shake it for you.
269
00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:20,288
Good, now put some
270
00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:22,812
Elvis in your pelvis.
271
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:26,207
Some Jagger in your swagger
272
00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:29,166
and put some
Hootie in your Blowfish.
273
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:31,125
Easy there, big guy.
274
00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:35,433
Now it's time to flash the grin
275
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,609
and show some skin.
276
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,612
[music continues]
277
00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:50,405
Frank, thanks to you
278
00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:51,972
the reverend is stalling
with bad jokes.
279
00:11:52,059 --> 00:11:53,408
Will you just get back in there?
280
00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:55,192
Don't start with me, Carol.
281
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:57,978
I'm supposed to be watchin'
this game on a 60-inch set
282
00:11:58,065 --> 00:12:00,110
and I'm trying to pick it up
on an Etch A Sketch.
283
00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:03,810
I don't care,
this is the third time
284
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:05,812
you've ducked outta there
in ten minutes.
285
00:12:05,899 --> 00:12:07,204
The reverend and those couples
think you have
286
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:10,077
some kind of terrible
bladder infection.
287
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,731
Oh, hey, that's great,
then I'll stay in here
288
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,515
and watch the game, you tell 'em
I'm down at the drugstore
289
00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:15,996
getting some adult diapers.
290
00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:17,519
Frank, if you don't
get back in there
291
00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:18,999
the next time we make love
292
00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:21,653
you'll be old enough
to need adult diapers.
293
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:25,788
[grunts]
294
00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:31,576
Well, we're back.
295
00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:33,317
You know, Frank, I, uh
296
00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:36,407
I had a little bladder problem
myself last year.
297
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:38,366
May I suggest two things.
298
00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:41,151
Prayer and cranberry juice.
299
00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:45,155
I'll keep that in mind.
300
00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:47,027
Okay, let's continue.
301
00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:48,680
You three couples
are about to embark
302
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:49,856
on wedded bliss yourselves.
303
00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:51,771
I'm sure you have many questions
304
00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:54,077
for this happily married couple.
305
00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:56,427
Uh, Gordon, why don't you get
the ball rolling?
306
00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:58,429
Okay. Um..
307
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,301
Donna and I
love each other very much
308
00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:02,346
but we have this problem.
309
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:04,871
I'm kind of a quiet guy,
but she always wants me
310
00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:06,742
to share my feelings.
311
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:08,135
I'll be honest with you.
312
00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:10,093
I don't have that many feelings.
313
00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:13,836
Well, you get used to that
314
00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:15,925
tell-me-your-feelings thing,
Gordon.
315
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:17,797
That goes on forever.
316
00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,974
- Really?
- Oh, absolutely.
317
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:22,932
But you want me to tell you
what's really gonna bend
318
00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,238
your crank?
319
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:29,199
It's when your wife keeps
volunteering you for things
320
00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:31,854
without having the courtesy
to ask you first.
321
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:35,162
[chuckles]
Well, I'd never do that.
322
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:38,165
Of course, you wouldn't.
323
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:40,080
Get back to me
after the honeymoon, Gordo.
324
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,997
Well, that's just Frank's
325
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:46,042
sense of humor.
326
00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:47,827
Which, by the way,
you ladies are gonna need
327
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:51,004
because sometimes your husbands
will act a tad, uh..
328
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:52,657
...shall we say immature?
329
00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:56,052
[laughs]
Right, honey?
330
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:58,881
That's right,
you guys act immature
331
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:01,666
because your wives act
more like your mommies
332
00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:03,059
and won't let you watch the game
333
00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:05,018
you bought
the special nachos for.
334
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,023
You know, folks, in Corinthian--
335
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:12,416
I think what Frank
is trying to say--
336
00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:13,940
Oh, did I fail to mention
337
00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:16,377
that sometimes they not only
volunteer you for things
338
00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:17,682
but they speak for you as well?
339
00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:19,641
That's because a lot of times
340
00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:22,687
when husbands talk, what comes
out is really, really stupid.
341
00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:24,037
Ha-ha. Let me tell you
about stupid--
342
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,473
- 'I'll tell you..'
- Yes, well..
343
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,127
I think that just about covers
344
00:14:27,214 --> 00:14:28,911
communication and honesty.
345
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:31,000
What do you say
we move on to respect?
346
00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,697
- There's foreign soil for you.
- I'd like a little respect.
347
00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,525
- 'She doesn't know..'
- 'I'd like a little respect.'
348
00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:37,006
[instrumental music]
349
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:39,966
[crowd cheering]
350
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:51,542
- Check, please.
- Man, this is so cool.
351
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:53,936
Three hundred chicks would have
paid to see me naked.
352
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:56,286
Is this a great country or what?
353
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:57,331
I don't think
I can go through with this.
354
00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:58,375
I'm afraid when I get out there
355
00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:00,377
I'm gonna wet my pants.
356
00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:02,162
Not a problem, Rich,
because in two minutes
357
00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,120
you won't be wearing any pants.
358
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:07,645
That doesn't help at all.
359
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:10,648
[all cheering]
360
00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:18,787
Oh, this is disgusting.
361
00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:20,789
If I had known the bridal shower
was gonna end up
362
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:22,617
at a sleazy meat market
like this
363
00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:24,488
I never would have come.
364
00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:26,447
Really?
365
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,971
I would have stopped
at the bank for more singles.
366
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,408
Yeah, Dana, lighten up.
367
00:15:31,495 --> 00:15:33,236
I mean, this is Becky's
last chance
368
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:34,846
to have a kick-butt
girls night out
369
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,066
before she gets married.
370
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:39,590
Gee, I only have a twenty.
371
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:42,724
I hope the dancers carry change.
372
00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:45,683
If they do, I hate to think
where they might be hiding it.
373
00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:49,774
[crowd cheering]
374
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:56,956
Alright.
375
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,697
Ain't that somethin'?
How about that?
376
00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:02,135
Yeah, that went marvelous.
377
00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:06,313
Ride 'em cowboys, huh, ladies?
378
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,750
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
379
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,404
Now we got
a couple of local boys.
380
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:12,014
Now these are pure amateurs
381
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:13,668
who I swear have never been
382
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,365
in a strip contest before.
383
00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:16,671
And I guarantee after tonight
384
00:16:16,758 --> 00:16:17,672
they will never be
in another one.
385
00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:19,108
[laughs]
386
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,457
You guys get out there
387
00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:23,025
and just shake your booty.
388
00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:25,462
- Ow.
- Whoa.
389
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:27,160
Make mamma proud.
390
00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:31,903
[chuckles]
391
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,209
Get 'em!
392
00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:36,082
Alright, ladies,
give it up for..
393
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:37,431
...The Handymen.
394
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:40,390
[crowd cheering]
395
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:47,745
Oh, my God!
396
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:51,097
[crowd booing]
397
00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:54,056
[upbeat music]
398
00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:15,556
- Uh, Rich!
- J.T.!
399
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,517
Hey, easy, baby,
touching costs extra.
400
00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:25,218
[groans]
Hey!
401
00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:27,785
Sam, what are you doing
in a strip club?
402
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,222
Keeping my clothes on.
403
00:17:29,309 --> 00:17:31,006
Which is more than
I can say for you.
404
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:33,574
Uh, hi, honey.
405
00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:36,620
This, uh, isn't what
it looks like.
406
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:39,449
Really, Rich? It looks to me
like you're about to get naked
407
00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:42,800
for a bunch of howling,
horny women.
408
00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:46,108
Oh, okay, so it is
what it looks like.
409
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:48,241
But honestly,
we're doing this for you.
410
00:17:48,328 --> 00:17:51,200
[crowd yelling]
411
00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:57,946
Yeah, great.
412
00:17:58,033 --> 00:18:00,253
Seriously. We're trying to get
money for the ski trip.
413
00:18:00,340 --> 00:18:04,170
Please, excuse us.
We didn't wanna disappoint you.
414
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:07,173
So you're willing
to totally embarrass
415
00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:08,870
and degrade yourselves
416
00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:11,568
in public for us?
417
00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:13,222
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
418
00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:20,229
That is the most beautiful thing
419
00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:21,839
I've ever heard.
420
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:23,928
Alright, let's bring back
the cowboys.
421
00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:26,931
[crowd cheering]
422
00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:30,979
Oh, look,
everyone here hates us.
423
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:33,112
The ski trip's off.
We might as well just quit.
424
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:35,766
No, no, keep dancing. Wait.
425
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:39,944
Ladies, ladies, now
426
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,859
we're gonna try something
a little different.
427
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:44,906
- Uh, do you like these guys?
- No!
428
00:18:44,993 --> 00:18:46,603
Do you wanna see them
take their clothes off?
429
00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:47,778
[all]
No!
430
00:18:47,865 --> 00:18:49,171
Are you willing to pay them
431
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:50,651
to keep their clothes on?
432
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:52,261
[all]
Yes!
433
00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:54,133
Then show me the money!
434
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:57,136
[crowd cheering]
435
00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:08,364
[instrumental music]
436
00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:13,848
You wanna know
what really ticks me off?
437
00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:15,850
It's when you hog the covers
438
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:18,157
and I freeze my butt all night.
439
00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:21,377
I need the covers
to pull over my head
440
00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:24,598
to drown out the sound
of your snoring.
441
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:27,731
- I do not snore!
- Yes, you do!
442
00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:30,691
And that's the nicest sound
you make in bed!
443
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:36,349
Well, if you wouldn't put cheese
on everything you cook.
444
00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:37,915
- 'Then I wouldn't have--'
- 'Hey, pal!'
445
00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:41,223
We live in the Cheese State.
Get used to it.
446
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:43,094
Yeah, well,
then you get used to it.
447
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:46,620
Well, I, I think this could be
a good stopping place.
448
00:19:46,707 --> 00:19:49,100
Maybe we could have
some refreshments.
449
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,102
I know I'd kill for a beer.
450
00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,497
You know what? Uh..
451
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:55,672
Before we break,
there's something
452
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,457
I'd like to say.
453
00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:59,067
Donna, I-I love you
454
00:19:59,154 --> 00:20:01,896
but I'm not sure
we should get married anymore.
455
00:20:02,549 --> 00:20:03,593
What?
456
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,204
I mean, with all due respect
457
00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:07,467
if Frank and Carol
are the happiest couple
458
00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:09,295
in Port Washington
459
00:20:09,382 --> 00:20:11,732
I'd hate to see
the ones who don't get along.
460
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:14,517
Hey, come on, that's ridiculous.
461
00:20:14,604 --> 00:20:16,737
Gordo, you got
the whole wrong idea here.
462
00:20:16,824 --> 00:20:18,304
I mean, you might've caught us
on our bad day.
463
00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:20,393
Yeah, but Carol and I,
we love each other.
464
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,830
Well, you sure have
a weird way of showing it.
465
00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:25,920
Well, maybe we do, you know,
but for every bad day
466
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:28,401
we have a hundred days where
we're really, really happy.
467
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:30,098
Well, more like 80-85.
468
00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:32,013
But the point here, guys..
469
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:34,537
...is it doesn't matter
how happily married you are
470
00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:37,148
there's bound to be days
when you just don't get along.
471
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,281
[Carol]
'Yeah, I can guarantee you,
you're gonna get angry'
472
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:40,630
and you're gonna
fight with each other
473
00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:42,632
but that's when
your love means the most
474
00:20:42,719 --> 00:20:45,200
because that's what carries you
through the bad times.
475
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:47,681
Yeah, and listen, I want you
guys to know that marrying Carol
476
00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:49,335
was the best thing
that ever happened to me.
477
00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:51,989
I-I wouldn't trade
that for anything in the world.
478
00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:54,470
And listen, honey,
I-I'm sorry about the fight.
479
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:56,037
I made a mountain
out of a mole hill.
480
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,082
Hell, I can watch game
at Vinnie's any day.
481
00:20:58,169 --> 00:21:00,607
[Carol]
'Oh, it wasn't
just your fault, Frank.'
482
00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:02,130
'I mean I shouldn't have
volunteered you'
483
00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:03,566
'for this without checking.'
484
00:21:03,653 --> 00:21:04,959
No, no, but I'm sorry. Okay?
485
00:21:05,046 --> 00:21:07,048
Oh, me, too. I'm sorry.
486
00:21:07,135 --> 00:21:08,615
Well, yeah,
but I'm more sorry.
487
00:21:08,702 --> 00:21:10,443
- 'No, I'm sorry.'
- 'No, I'm..'
488
00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:12,880
I could be twice
as sorry as you..
489
00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:16,362
Hey, by the way, makin' up is
a really cool part of marriage.
490
00:21:16,449 --> 00:21:19,321
[instrumental music]
491
00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:22,716
Thank you.
492
00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:27,155
Alright, now. Go. go. Go!
493
00:21:27,242 --> 00:21:28,983
[mumbling]
Oh! Good!
494
00:21:29,070 --> 00:21:30,941
Man! Oh, you are the man!
Go, big dog!
495
00:21:31,028 --> 00:21:32,421
- Frank.
- Hiya, honey.
496
00:21:32,508 --> 00:21:33,901
I think I made
a little mistake.
497
00:21:33,988 --> 00:21:35,511
Oh, that's too bad, dear.
What did you do?
498
00:21:35,598 --> 00:21:37,296
Well, remember when I promised
I'd check with you
499
00:21:37,383 --> 00:21:39,820
before I made any plans?
500
00:21:39,907 --> 00:21:42,301
- You didn't.
- I did. I'm sorry.
501
00:21:42,388 --> 00:21:44,520
I promise
it will never happen again.
502
00:21:44,607 --> 00:21:46,783
But I already made plans
for us for tonight.
503
00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:48,437
Well, I tell you what, honey,
you know, last time
504
00:21:48,524 --> 00:21:50,178
I did the seminar thing
for you, okay?
505
00:21:50,265 --> 00:21:52,615
And I'm not gonna do it again.
I'm gonna watch the game, okay?
506
00:21:52,702 --> 00:21:54,313
And nothing you can say or do
is gonna make me
507
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,879
take my eyes off this set,
I'm sorry.
508
00:21:55,966 --> 00:21:57,881
- Really? Hmm..
- Yeah.
509
00:21:57,968 --> 00:22:00,231
Well, I'm really sorry
to hear you say that, Frank
510
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,495
because I really thought
you'd enjoy
511
00:22:02,582 --> 00:22:04,758
what I had in mind for you.
512
00:22:10,285 --> 00:22:13,157
But if you'd, uh,
rather watch the game..
513
00:22:16,073 --> 00:22:17,945
Wha-wha-what game?
What-what..
37103
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