Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,826 --> 00:00:02,959
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:06,484
- Hey, hey, hey.
- No way!
3
00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:07,746
I got the new
cable converter box.
4
00:00:07,833 --> 00:00:10,010
Whoo-hoo! Movin' on up
to pay-per-view.
5
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:11,489
Next stop, Saturday night.
6
00:00:11,576 --> 00:00:14,536
The Caribbean Tropic
Bikini Contest.
7
00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:15,754
- Let's get this baby hooked up.
- Yes.
8
00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:16,973
- See if it works.
- Yes, yes.
9
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,801
[sighs]
10
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:20,629
You know, J.T.,
um, should I feel guilty
11
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:22,239
that I'll be looking
at girls in thongs
12
00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:24,937
considering, you know,
I'm goin' out with Dana?
13
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,461
Look at it this way,
it doesn't matter
14
00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:27,636
where you work up your appetite
15
00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:29,377
as long as you come home
for supper.
16
00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:36,253
Hey, don't-don't-don't
shake it like that.
17
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,821
- You're gonna break it.
- I'm not gonna break it.
18
00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:40,127
[electricity crackling]
19
00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:41,780
- Oh, oh, oh.
- Oh.
20
00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:48,309
I think I broke it.
21
00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,920
Great, now we can't watch
the contest. Thanks to you.
22
00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:55,055
Oh, I got it, we'll just
hook up the converter box
23
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:57,535
to dad and Carol's TV
and watch in the living room.
24
00:00:57,622 --> 00:00:59,842
I don't know, J.T., if I feel
comfortable looking at yabbos
25
00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:01,800
while your dad and Carol
are around.
26
00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:03,759
Relax, man,
they're not gonna be there.
27
00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:05,935
They're goin' to dad's high
school reunion Saturday night
28
00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:08,503
and the girls are going to some
lame figure skating event.
29
00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:11,593
Yeah, but, J.T.,
our TV is still wrecked.
30
00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,857
Hey, I got it.
31
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:16,293
Let's invite
a bunch of guys over
32
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:17,816
and charge 'em
to watch it with us.
33
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:21,168
Figure about 20 horny guys
at 15 bucks a pop
34
00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:23,953
that's enough to pay for
the contest, and get a new TV.
35
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,172
What do you think?
36
00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:26,564
I think invite
a few more pathetic guys
37
00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:27,609
we'll have enough for a VCR.
38
00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:28,697
- Yes!
- Yes!
39
00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:30,002
[chuckling]
40
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,744
[theme music]
41
00:01:32,831 --> 00:01:34,616
♪ Step by step ♪
42
00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:36,574
♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪
43
00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:38,402
♪ A fresh start over ♪
44
00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:40,317
♪ A different hand to play ♪
45
00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:42,232
♪ The deeper we fall ♪
46
00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:44,539
♪ The stronger we stay ♪
47
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,541
♪ We'll make it better ♪
48
00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:49,283
♪ The second time around ♪♪
49
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,123
[instrumental music]
50
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:13,611
What do you think?
51
00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:17,354
Well, I can't tell ya
'cause I have a X-rated opinion
52
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:18,703
in a PG-rated room.
53
00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:21,315
[laughing]
54
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:22,751
I'm glad you like it,
this is what I'm gonna wear
55
00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:25,275
to your 25th high-school
reunion.
56
00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:28,365
Oh! Ah!
God, gee.
57
00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:31,499
I just threw my back out
scoopin' the ice cream.
58
00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:32,761
[groans]
59
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:34,632
No reunion for me, honey.
60
00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:37,331
Darn, darn, darn.
I'm so disappointed.
61
00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:41,726
Why is it that bad things
happen to good people, anyway?
62
00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:44,425
Give it up, Frank, there is
nothing wrong with your back.
63
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:47,297
You've been trying to weasel
out of this reunion for weeks.
64
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,908
I don't get it. Why don't
you wanna go to your reunion?
65
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,736
Two words.
66
00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:54,435
- Roy Tucker.
- Roy who?
67
00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:56,437
Roy Tucker,
he went to high school with me.
68
00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:58,265
He was better than me
at everything.
69
00:02:58,352 --> 00:03:01,268
I mean, I was popular,
he was the most popular.
70
00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:04,009
I was good at football,
he was the best at football.
71
00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:06,925
I dated a cheerleader,
he dated her mother.
72
00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:12,888
Let it go, Frank.
It was 25 years ago!
73
00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:14,629
Yeah, but every time
I see him, honey
74
00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:17,197
he just rubs my nose
in his successes.
75
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:19,721
Okay, so let me
get this straight.
76
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:22,941
You're not going
because this one guy outdid you?
77
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:24,813
No, it's not just that.
78
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:26,771
He also forced me
to arm wrestle him
79
00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:28,164
in front of the whole
football team.
80
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:31,036
It was the most
humiliating moment of my life.
81
00:03:31,123 --> 00:03:32,386
Just because he beat you?
82
00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:34,475
Uh, no,
not just because of that.
83
00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:37,173
After he beat me, the team ran
my jockstrap up the flagpole.
84
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:38,740
[laughs]
85
00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,698
It's not funny.
I was still in it.
86
00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:43,397
[laughs]
87
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:45,790
Come on, Frank, don't let
this guy beat you again
88
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:48,706
by intimidating you
into not going to your reunion.
89
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,795
I, uh, honey,
I know you're right.
90
00:03:50,882 --> 00:03:54,103
- So you'll go?
- Yes, I'll go.
91
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:55,496
But if my underwear ends up
92
00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:57,149
on that flagpole,
you're goin' up after it.
93
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,934
Okay.
94
00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:00,892
[instrumental music]
95
00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:05,157
Sounds good, Mikey.
See you in a few minutes.
96
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,290
Hey, and don't forget
about the 15 bucks.
97
00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:09,031
Okay, bye.
98
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:10,989
Yes, that makes 20 customers
99
00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:13,165
for our pay-per-view
booty blow-out.
100
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,472
Watchin' girls in bikinis
and makin' money doin' it.
101
00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:17,909
Call me corny,
but I'm proud to be an American.
102
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:22,827
Well, don't start wavin'
your flag yet there, Billy Bob.
103
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:25,003
We still gotta get your parents
and the girls out of the house
104
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,962
before the horn dogs arrive.
105
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:30,574
Frank, hurry up!
We're gonna be late.
106
00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:33,055
Yeah, yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm coming.
I'm comin', honey.
107
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:34,578
You know, gee, it's, uh..
108
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:36,580
It's awful windy,
and-and my lips are chapped.
109
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:38,452
I'm not sure
it's safe for me to go out.
110
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:39,801
We can get ChapStick
on the way.
111
00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:41,193
Let me get the door
for you guys.
112
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,934
Okay, but, J.T.,
now, if you need us--
113
00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:44,936
Yeah, yeah. Both of you,
live it up, have a good time.
114
00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:47,069
- Bye.
- Yes! Ah!
115
00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:50,202
T minus five minutes
to booty blast-off.
116
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,943
[chuckles]
117
00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:53,597
Would you guys slow down?
118
00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:55,686
You still haven't told me
which scarf looks better
119
00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:57,166
and I wanna be
properly accessorized.
120
00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:58,559
Karen, we're late.
121
00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:00,125
Now wrap one of those scarves
around your neck
122
00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:01,257
and the other one
around your mouth
123
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:03,390
so we don't have
to listen to you.
124
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:05,566
Okay, that's so sweet.
Now you guys go on.
125
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:07,524
You go out and stay out
as late as you want.
126
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:09,134
Please, have a good time
and don't hurry back.
127
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:11,136
- Uh-huh.
- Hey.
128
00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:13,878
[shrieks]
129
00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:17,273
Don't forget,
Lilly has to be in bed by 8:30.
130
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,841
- Lilly?
- Lilly?
131
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:21,712
Isn't she going with you?
132
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:25,237
Yeah, J.T., I have her
right here in my purse.
133
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,065
No, of course,
she's not going with us.
134
00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:29,590
She's seven.
She can't stay out that late.
135
00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,679
- Now, take good care of her.
- Okay.
136
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:34,246
Ah..
137
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,423
Lilly?
We have to babysit Lilly?
138
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:39,208
Man, this ruins everything.
Now we gotta cancel the party.
139
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:42,385
Relax, Rich.
We're not cancelling anything.
140
00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:44,518
Oh, let me guess,
you're gonna let Lilly watch
141
00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:46,258
but only charge her
half price?
142
00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:49,566
No, that'd be wrong.
143
00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:52,613
But...what I'm gonna do
144
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:56,443
is send her on a nice,
long trip to Camp Candy.
145
00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:58,836
Lilly, could you come down here
for a second, please?
146
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:00,403
- Pick up the grub.
- Argh.
147
00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:12,197
Oh, good.
Pretzels, chips. Pizza!
148
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:14,025
J.T., you're throwing me
a party?
149
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:16,985
You're the best big brother
in the whole world.
150
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:21,468
Uh, it's not that kind
of party, Lilly.
151
00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:23,644
It's-it's for grown-ups only.
152
00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:26,473
But what about me?
153
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,126
I've got somethin'
much better for you
154
00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:30,085
than a stinky-old
grown-up party.
155
00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:31,782
Check it out,
you're gonna have your own
156
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:34,872
special party
upstairs by yourself, huh?
157
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,483
Check it out,
Olsen Twin videos.
158
00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:38,310
Saw them.
159
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,312
All the M&M's you can eat.
160
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,706
Allergic.
161
00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:45,709
- Pepperoni pizza?
- I don't really like pepperoni.
162
00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:47,407
Then pick off the pepperonis
and throw 'em around
163
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:48,756
like little greasy Frisbees,
okay?
164
00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:50,584
Come on, come on.
165
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:51,802
[doorbell ringing]
166
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:52,977
I-I'll get it.
167
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,326
But I don't wanna go upstairs.
168
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,677
- I wanna stay with you.
- Ah!
169
00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:58,069
- Hey!
- Hey, Rich.
170
00:06:58,156 --> 00:06:59,157
Bring on it, baby.
171
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,985
[indistinct chattering]
172
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:02,073
Lilly, all the grown-ups
are here
173
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,379
so why don't you go upstairs
174
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:05,381
and I'll check on you later,
okay?
175
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:08,210
Go on. Toss those Frisbees.
176
00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:10,821
J.T., I can't believe it.
177
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:12,910
You were actually able to
outsmart a seven year old.
178
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:15,739
- Hey, she's almost eight.
- Man.
179
00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:16,958
[doorbell ringing]
180
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,264
- Hey!
- Hey!
181
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:22,267
[instrumental music]
182
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,275
Frank?
Frank Lambert!
183
00:07:30,362 --> 00:07:32,321
Oh, put it there,
you big lug.
184
00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:34,192
- Tom? Little Tom Garilick?
- Yeah! Yeah.
185
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:37,500
Well, I mean, they don't call me
Little Tom anymore.
186
00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:40,460
Frank, let me give you a little,
uh, friendly advice.
187
00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:42,984
Don't ever go into
the potato chip business.
188
00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:45,856
It's true,
"No one can eat just one."
189
00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:48,032
[laughing]
190
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:49,817
Alright!
Uh, Tom, this is my wife, Carol.
191
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:50,861
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hello.
192
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:52,167
Oh, isn't this great?
193
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:53,690
Getting everybody together
like old times?
194
00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:55,649
Yeah, actually, you know,
it's kind of fun.
195
00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:58,434
See, all that worry for nothing.
I knew you'd have a good time.
196
00:07:58,521 --> 00:07:59,957
Well, especially since
we haven't seen you-know-who.
197
00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,437
[laughing]
198
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:02,960
- Oh.
- Oh, thanks.
199
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,310
Hey, let the good times roll!
200
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:07,008
Roy Tucker's in the house!
201
00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:08,879
[indistinct chattering]
202
00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:10,446
See you, Frank.
203
00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:16,191
You know, Frank,
you're having a good time.
204
00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:17,409
Don't let him get to you.
205
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,759
Well, I'm not gonna let him
206
00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:20,195
ruin my night.
207
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:23,372
Oh, it's Lambert.
208
00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:24,416
My number-two man.
209
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,767
[laughing]
210
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:30,031
- Yeah, he just ruined my night.
- Go easy, Frank.
211
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:32,555
He's with his daughter, so maybe
he won't be a total jerk.
212
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:33,991
[Frank sighs]
213
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:36,994
So how is it going, Lambert?
214
00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:38,909
Well, how you doin', Roy?
215
00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:41,695
Roy, this is my wife, Carol.
Carol, Roy Tucker.
216
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:45,350
- Carol, nice to meet you.
- Hello.
217
00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:48,179
A looker like you
married a guy like Frank.
218
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:49,441
What are you? Blind?
219
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,834
[laughing]
220
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:53,924
Gee, Roy, you're exactly
like Frank described.
221
00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:56,927
So, uh, uh, Roy, you're gonna
introduce us to your daughter?
222
00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:59,713
Daughter? Better put on
your specs, old man.
223
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,499
This is Desiree, my fiance.
224
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:06,458
I-I mean, uh, uh, nice to meet
you. Really nice to meet you.
225
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,156
Honey, this is the guy
I told you about.
226
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:10,724
I nearly ripped his arm out
arm wrestling.
227
00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:13,727
Hey, Roy, you know how
some stories just never get old?
228
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,337
- Yeah.
- Well, that one just did.
229
00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,644
Ouch. Ooh. So cute.
230
00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:19,471
[laughs]
231
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,736
Well, I just opened up my,
uh, 40th tire store.
232
00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:25,565
How about you, Frankie?
Still, uh, painting houses?
233
00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:29,351
No, Roy, that was a job I had
for the summer when I was a kid.
234
00:09:29,438 --> 00:09:31,005
I'm a contractor now.
235
00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:34,443
- Oh, handyman.
- No, not a handyman, I have a--
236
00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:35,879
You know, I really wanna
talk about this
237
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:37,838
but we're gonna go look
at the old auditorium
238
00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:40,710
because I'm thinking about
donating a new one.
239
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:42,973
So later, number two.
240
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,061
[laughs]
241
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:47,021
[instrumental music]
242
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:50,285
[cheering]
243
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:55,420
- Oh! Whoa!
- Whoa!
244
00:09:55,507 --> 00:09:57,640
J.T., I'm tired
of being alone.
245
00:09:57,727 --> 00:09:59,990
You wanna have a tea party
with me and Mr. Buttons?
246
00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:02,340
Not now, Lilly. My friends
are here. Maybe later.
247
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:05,126
Here's a bag of pork rinds.
Now, go upstairs, okay?
248
00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:07,824
Thanks a lot.
249
00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:09,304
[man on TV]
'And in just one minute'
250
00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:10,958
'the judges will have
tabulated the votes'
251
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:12,742
'and will announce
this year's winner'
252
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:15,397
'of the Caribbean Tropic
Bikini Contest.'
253
00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:17,399
[all cheering]
254
00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:20,663
[sighs]
255
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:23,623
Come on, Mr. Buttons,
if J.T. doesn't want us here
256
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:26,364
we'll go away and have
a tea party of our own.
257
00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:30,325
[instrumental music]
258
00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:43,468
[Caribbean music]
259
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:46,341
[indistinct chattering]
260
00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:48,604
J.T., man, we got enough money
for a new TV!
261
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:50,214
Yup, and this is only
the beginning
262
00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:52,216
because next month
when Frank and Carol go camping
263
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:55,655
we're gonna host pay-per-views
wet T-shirt showdown!
264
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,482
- Oh, yeah. Go, showdown.
- Go, showdown.
265
00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:59,354
- Go, showdown. Go, showdown.
- Go, showdown. Go, showdown.
266
00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:02,792
- Go, go, go, go, go, go, go..
- Go, go, go, go, go, go, go..
267
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:04,141
- Oh, oh, oh..
- Oh, oh, oh..
268
00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:05,621
Uh, the girls are back early.
269
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:08,145
- We're busted!
- Whoa! Check it out!
270
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,931
Now, see, I didn't know we were
having live entertainment, too.
271
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:13,063
Come on, ladies, take it off!
272
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:15,022
[all cheering]
273
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:18,895
Silence, morons!
274
00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:22,682
What the hell is going on here?
275
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:25,075
Hi, honey.
276
00:11:25,162 --> 00:11:27,251
We were just having
some friends over to watch
277
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:28,688
"Masterpiece Theatre."
278
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,037
It's, uh, Sherlock Holmes
279
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:32,474
in the case
of the missing thong.
280
00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:34,781
[man on TV]
'And now this year's winner'
281
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:38,828
'of the Caribbean Tropic
Bikini Contest..'
282
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:40,787
[clamoring]
283
00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:44,965
Alright, party's over.
Pack it in, perverts.
284
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:47,184
Oh, man, what a rip off!
Never get to see who won.
285
00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:49,534
- We want our money back.
- Hey!
286
00:11:49,621 --> 00:11:52,233
...big deal,
actually, but, uh..
287
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,104
Yeah, what a rip off.
We want our money back.
288
00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:55,715
Yes, I'll never
come back here again.
289
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:58,152
Don't even try it.
290
00:11:58,239 --> 00:12:00,850
Sit!
291
00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:02,678
I cannot believe
292
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:04,941
the two of you would watch
something like that
293
00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:07,161
when you are supposed
to be babysitting Lilly.
294
00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:09,903
Relax, Lilly's fine, I just
saw her a little while ago.
295
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:12,122
I gave her a bag of pork rind,
she went back upstairs.
296
00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:14,429
She was happy as a clam.
297
00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:16,518
I'll go make sure
she's okay, alright.
298
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:22,742
- Hi, honey.
- Don't you "Hi, honey" me!
299
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,961
How could you watch
that sexist
300
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:26,571
degrading display
301
00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:28,051
of half-naked women
302
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,010
frolicking on the beach?
303
00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:32,664
Honey, it wasn't all frolicking.
304
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,014
I mean,
some of these girls express
305
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:35,537
some very deep concerns
about the hole
306
00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:37,408
in the ozone layer.
307
00:12:37,495 --> 00:12:39,759
Why? Because it melts silicon?
308
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:44,241
Lilly is not in her room.
309
00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:45,939
I can't find her anywhere.
310
00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:49,377
Oh, man!
311
00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:52,162
I can't believe
I let this happen!
312
00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:54,121
[instrumental music]
313
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:58,038
[indistinct chattering]
314
00:12:58,125 --> 00:13:00,040
Here you go.
315
00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:02,303
Ah, the nerve of that guy.
316
00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:05,523
- Oh, let me guess. Roy?
- Yeah.
317
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:07,612
I'm over there at the Swedish
meatballs with my friends
318
00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:09,310
and he had the nerve
to offer me a job
319
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,834
as an assistant tire stacker.
320
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:14,228
He just enjoys
making me feel small.
321
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:16,491
Mind if we join you, number two?
322
00:13:16,578 --> 00:13:19,146
Actually, Roy,
I'd rather sit on a table saw.
323
00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:21,322
[chuckles]
I'm just horsin'.
324
00:13:21,409 --> 00:13:23,498
Park it, honey.
325
00:13:23,585 --> 00:13:24,716
Frankie, you're hogging
the whole table.
326
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,067
Come on, move over.
327
00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:29,460
Ah. Ooh, I love these.
328
00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:31,419
Ah. Mm..
329
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,943
So, you remember
the wrestling try-outs in '71?
330
00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:35,379
How can I forget, Roy?
331
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:38,034
You've mentioned it
three times already tonight.
332
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,601
Yeah, but the girls
haven't heard it yet.
333
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,124
So we're in the try-outs
334
00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:43,083
'everybody thinks
Frankie's got me beat'
335
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:45,128
so I pull the old switcheroo!
336
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:46,608
[chuckles]
337
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:48,218
Pinned him
in three seconds flat.
338
00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,481
New school record.
Alright!
339
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:51,831
Isn't that a great story
or what?
340
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:55,095
- Yeah, that was great.
- Mm..
341
00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:58,141
I'll tell you what,
I'm gonna go find a sandwich
342
00:13:58,228 --> 00:14:00,274
that I left in my locker
about 25 years ago.
343
00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:03,407
Mm. Well, hey,
I gotta go do a cam.
344
00:14:03,494 --> 00:14:06,236
Why don't you two girls
chitchat? Meow!
345
00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:15,680
Nice reunion, huh?
346
00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:18,161
Yeah, I, I don't think
347
00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:20,598
my husband's having
a very good time.
348
00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:22,252
I could see that.
349
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:27,431
Look, I-I know
that you are Roy's fiance
350
00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:31,174
and I'm, I'm sure that deep,
deep down he's a decent guy
351
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:32,784
but do you think
you could ask him to stop being
352
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,699
such a jerk to my husband?
353
00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:36,179
I could, but it won't help.
354
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:38,616
He does this to everybody.
355
00:14:40,053 --> 00:14:41,445
Well, I don't mean to pry,
I mean
356
00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:44,318
but then why on Earth
are you marrying this guy?
357
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:46,407
[sighs]
358
00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:49,105
Look, I can't keep this up.
359
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:52,108
I'm not marrying Roy.
360
00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:55,155
We just work together and
he couldn't get a date tonight
361
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:57,635
so he paid me to come here.
362
00:14:57,722 --> 00:14:59,202
I am a cashier.
363
00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:07,384
You're an employee
at one of his tire stores?
364
00:15:07,471 --> 00:15:10,474
He doesn't own
any tire stores.
365
00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:12,259
He just works at one
366
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,087
as the assistant manager
367
00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:16,611
in the retread department.
368
00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:22,530
Oh, so he lied
about his success.
369
00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:25,881
Honey, he has been lyin'
about everything.
370
00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:31,017
[instrumental music]
371
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:37,110
Okay, thank you, officer.
We'll do that. Alright.
372
00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:39,416
Here's the deal, the police are
gonna start looking for Lilly.
373
00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:41,941
In the meantime, we should start
searching the neighborhood.
374
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,899
We've gotta find her,
now, you stay here
375
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,945
in case Lilly comes home
or anybody calls.
376
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:48,164
J.T., at least make yourself
useful, clean up this mess.
377
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,123
- Yeah.
- Stay!
378
00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:02,918
[sighs]
379
00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:11,535
[crickets chirping]
380
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,585
Lilly, are you in there?
381
00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:18,629
[Lilly]
'No.'
382
00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:23,678
Thank God. Phew.
383
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:29,292
[instrumental music]
384
00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:35,081
Lilly, what are you
doin' in here?
385
00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:36,734
We've been looking
all over for you.
386
00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:40,129
I'm having a tea party
and you're not invited.
387
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:41,348
[sighs]
388
00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:43,654
Can we talk?
389
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:46,570
Why? You don't care about me.
390
00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:49,399
Of course, I do, Lilly.
I love you.
391
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:50,922
Then why did you make me
go upstairs
392
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,099
and eat pork rinds by myself?
393
00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:57,016
[sighs]
Because..
394
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,019
...I needed a new TV
395
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,804
and I invited
all these guys over and..
396
00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:07,200
Okay.
397
00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:08,940
The truth is..
398
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:11,334
...I was a jerk.
399
00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:13,771
There's noexcuse
for what I did.
400
00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:17,862
And I'm your big brother.
401
00:17:17,949 --> 00:17:20,256
I should've taken care of you.
402
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:23,216
- I didn't.
- Yeah, you really blew it.
403
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,436
Yeah, I know.
404
00:17:26,523 --> 00:17:27,829
But I promise,
if you forgive me
405
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:30,484
I'll neverever
ignore you again
406
00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:32,790
and I'll do anything
to make it up to you.
407
00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:35,228
- Anything?
- Anything.
408
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:38,013
Would you play dress-up with me
in my next tea party?
409
00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:41,930
Sure. What shall I wear?
410
00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:44,237
Oh, just a wig.
411
00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:47,501
Mom's pink robe
and red lipstick.
412
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:49,459
So will you do it?
413
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:52,549
Sure, I can't wait.
414
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:57,337
[instrumental music]
415
00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,513
[indistinct chatter]
416
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:03,647
Honey, what are you doing?
417
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:05,388
I'm getting our coats, honey.
We are leavin'.
418
00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:08,609
I'm not gonna listen
to another one of Roy's stories.
419
00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:10,001
Yeah, well,
I just heard a story
420
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,525
I think you might be
interested in.
421
00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:12,961
Let me guess.
422
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:15,268
Is this the one
where he scored the winning goal
423
00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:18,227
in a hockey game by ricocheting
a puck off my head?
424
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:19,881
No, no.
425
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:22,362
Desiree told me
that Roy has been lying
426
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,625
about everything,
including her.
427
00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:26,148
She's not his fiance.
428
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:29,195
In fact, he had to pay her
to come with him tonight.
429
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:32,763
[gasps]
She's a lady of the night?
430
00:18:32,850 --> 00:18:36,463
What? No, she's a cashier
by day. They work together.
431
00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:39,988
And he doesn't own
a chain of tire stores.
432
00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:42,251
He's just an assistant manager
at one of them.
433
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:44,427
Oh, and by the way,
his hair, it's a weave.
434
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:46,125
She told you that?
435
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:48,692
Well, no, but I'm a beautician.
I know these things.
436
00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:52,131
I mean, the point is
that Roy's life is a disaster.
437
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,784
He's a miserable, unhappy
438
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:56,222
failure of a man.
439
00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:58,528
Yes! Way to go, God!
You're the man!
440
00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:00,182
Oh, yes!
441
00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:01,879
Oh. Ha-ha.
442
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:04,447
Come on, Frank, you gotta feel
a little bad for him.
443
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:05,796
No, I don't.
444
00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:08,973
- Well, maybe you should.
- Why?
445
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:10,975
Because all your life
you always thought
446
00:19:11,062 --> 00:19:12,977
that Roy was the winner
447
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:15,154
but the truth is your life
is a hundred times better
448
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,633
than Roy Tuckers.
449
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,506
I mean, you're an honest,
self-made man.
450
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:22,117
You got a wife and kids
who love you.
451
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:23,814
You're the real winner.
452
00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:26,469
Number two.
453
00:19:26,556 --> 00:19:27,775
[Roy chuckles]
454
00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:29,951
The whole class
is waitin' to see me
455
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:33,433
whoop your tail
at arm wrestling again.
456
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:34,869
[indistinct chattering]
457
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:39,047
Nah, that's okay, Roy.
Not tonight.
458
00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:42,659
Oh-ho-ho! Come on, Frankie.
You a chicken?
459
00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:45,619
[laughing]
460
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:49,492
That's it,
I'm rippin' his arm off.
461
00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:51,146
No, I'm not gonna let him
humiliate me
462
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:52,669
in front of my friends again.
463
00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:54,628
- 'You show him, pal.'
- 'Ho-ho-ho.'
464
00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:59,676
Oh, just like old times, huh?
465
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:04,594
Yeah, Roy, just like old times
466
00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:06,553
except, this time
you are goin' down.
467
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,859
- Oh!
- Oh!
468
00:20:08,946 --> 00:20:11,558
That's never gonna happen,
Lambert.
469
00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:13,603
[laughing]
470
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:15,388
One
471
00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:18,173
two, three.
472
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:19,696
Oh.
473
00:20:19,783 --> 00:20:21,176
[chuckles]
474
00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:22,873
Not much has changed.
475
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,006
You still arm wrestle
like a girl.
476
00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:27,791
- 'Ooh!'
- 'Ooh!'
477
00:20:27,878 --> 00:20:30,272
- 'Right.'
- Heh-heh.
478
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:32,492
Why don't you just give up,
Frankie?
479
00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:34,233
'Cause you know you can't win.
480
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:37,932
And you know why?
481
00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:39,934
Because I'm better than you.
482
00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:41,414
I got a hot little fiance
483
00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:43,633
and more money
than I know what to do with.
484
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,593
So, face it, Frankie, I got
you beat seven ways to Sunday.
485
00:20:48,029 --> 00:20:49,813
- 'Go.'
- 'Get him, get him.'
486
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:50,858
- 'Get him.'
- Yeah!
487
00:20:50,945 --> 00:20:53,208
And I won again. Yeah!
488
00:20:55,079 --> 00:20:56,777
- Yeah, you sure did, Roy.
- 'Yeah!'
489
00:20:56,864 --> 00:20:59,214
Okay, everybody,
drinks on me!
490
00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:00,389
[all cheering]
491
00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:01,999
Yeah.
492
00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:04,480
[indistinct chattering]
493
00:21:11,792 --> 00:21:13,576
- Mm-hmm.
- What?
494
00:21:13,663 --> 00:21:15,926
I saw what you did.
495
00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:17,885
You let him win, didn't you?
496
00:21:20,104 --> 00:21:21,105
Maybe.
497
00:21:21,192 --> 00:21:22,498
[chuckles]
498
00:21:22,585 --> 00:21:24,848
Quite a guy, Frank Lambert.
499
00:21:24,935 --> 00:21:26,372
Proud of you.
500
00:21:27,764 --> 00:21:30,637
[instrumental music]
501
00:21:34,162 --> 00:21:37,252
Come on, J.T. You have
to come down for my tea party.
502
00:21:37,339 --> 00:21:39,559
[J.T.]
'Lilly, I'm not too sure
about this.'
503
00:21:39,646 --> 00:21:41,909
But you promised.
504
00:21:41,996 --> 00:21:44,477
[J.T.]
'Are you sure
nobody else is down there?'
505
00:21:44,564 --> 00:21:47,393
Yes, it's just me
and my stuffed animals.
506
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,351
[J.T.]
'Alright, I'm comin'.'
507
00:22:02,016 --> 00:22:03,887
You look very pretty.
508
00:22:04,975 --> 00:22:06,803
Thanks. I feel pretty.
509
00:22:15,638 --> 00:22:18,511
[instrumental music]
36727
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
