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1
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[instrumental music]
2
00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:05,614
Honey, listen to this.
3
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:08,269
Here's an article called
4
00:00:08,356 --> 00:00:11,228
"How to make
a hot marriage hotter."
5
00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:12,795
[spits]
6
00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:14,449
I'm in for that. Ha-ha!
7
00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:16,059
I'll do it. Is it dangerous?
8
00:00:16,146 --> 00:00:18,714
- Do I need a spotter?
- Easy, Romeo.
9
00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:21,021
It just says
we should try a risque
10
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:23,023
role-playing rendezvous.
11
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,155
Oh, that sounds French.
12
00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,288
You know I'll do it.
13
00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:30,073
It suggests
that married couples dress up
14
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:31,857
and pretend they're strangers.
15
00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:33,294
Then they meet in public places
16
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:36,253
for close encounters
of the sexiest kind.
17
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:40,344
But, honey, we don't have
to go out to be sexy.
18
00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:42,651
- We can be sexy right here.
- Hmm.
19
00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:43,869
I'll tell you what.
20
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:46,176
I'll play Saddam Hussein.
21
00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,571
You be the naughty
UN inspector
22
00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:51,703
looking for my weapons
of mass destruction.
23
00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:53,705
[laughs]
24
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:56,317
Really, Frank?
No, I think, you know
25
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:57,970
pretending to be strangers
would be kind of
26
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,581
ooh, exciting, you know.
27
00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:03,193
Spotting each other
across a dark, crowded room.
28
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,716
You want dark and crowded?
29
00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:06,979
Let's go out to the truck.
30
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,633
Will you, at least,
think about it?
31
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,680
Mm.. I don't know.
32
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,291
[Frank grunts]
33
00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:16,119
[Frank]
'Hey, Carol,
what are you doin'?'
34
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,817
[Carol chuckles]
'I'm helping you
to think about it.'
35
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:23,039
[theme song]
36
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:25,215
♪ Step By Step ♪
37
00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:27,087
♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪
38
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:28,784
♪ A fresh start over ♪
39
00:01:28,871 --> 00:01:30,742
♪ A different hand to play ♪
40
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:32,527
♪ The deeper we fall ♪
41
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:34,964
♪ The stronger we stay ♪
42
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,922
♪ We'll make it better ♪
43
00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,403
♪ The second time around ♪♪
44
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:53,852
[rock music]
45
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:58,161
- Yello!
- Hey, Rich.
46
00:01:58,248 --> 00:01:59,858
Goin' to lose
another hockey game today?
47
00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:02,513
Hey, take it easy.
We're not that bad.
48
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:03,906
[scoffs]
Oh, really?
49
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:05,212
Then how come
your team's nickname
50
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,952
is "The Mighty Sucks?"
51
00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:13,611
Hi, sweetie.
52
00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:16,266
- Hi, honey.
- Not you, fathead.
53
00:02:18,573 --> 00:02:20,575
- I'm so glad you're here.
- Oh, I know, honey.
54
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,925
Only for a minute, though.
I'm late for my hockey game.
55
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:25,319
Oh, I hate our schedule
this semester.
56
00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:26,494
I hardly ever get to see
57
00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:28,365
my giggly-wiggly,
shmoogly-poogly.
58
00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:31,281
Oh, and I miss my cutesy little
boopsy-shmoopsy.
59
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,633
And I'm about to hurl
my lunchy wunchy.
60
00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:40,551
[both moaning]
61
00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:42,945
Oh, honey, I got to go,
I'm so late.
62
00:02:43,032 --> 00:02:44,425
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
63
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:45,730
You know, Rich,
if we are ever
64
00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:47,384
going to spend any time together
65
00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:49,647
we need to find something
that we both like, okay?
66
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:51,171
So, I have an idea.
67
00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:53,912
I was thinking that we could
take a class together
68
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:55,610
at the community center.
69
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,046
I don't know, honey,
I have enough trouble
70
00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:58,439
cuttin' the classes
I'm already taking.
71
00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:01,268
It doesn't have to be academic.
72
00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:04,619
It can be something fun.
Like origami.
73
00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:06,490
Uh, I'm not really
into raw fish.
74
00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:09,493
Very funny. Okay.
75
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,539
How about a class
on art appreciation?
76
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,541
I'd rather eat origami.
77
00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,893
Fine. How about
a class in pottery?
78
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,503
Pottery? Like in clay?
79
00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:21,462
You know that, uh,
brown, messy mud stuff
80
00:03:21,549 --> 00:03:22,767
that gets all over your hair
and your clothes?
81
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:25,292
- Yeah.
- I'll do it. Sign us up.
82
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:27,424
But, honey, I am so late,
I gotta go.
83
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,034
I love you.
Mwah.
84
00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:31,080
- Well, wish me luck.
- Okay.
85
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:37,826
[rock music]
86
00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:48,271
This is so wonderful, honey.
You and I together.
87
00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:50,317
And I'm doin' stuff with my
hands that won't get me slapped.
88
00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:52,319
[chuckles]
89
00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:53,885
Is this cool or what?
90
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:57,193
[sighs]
Yeah.
91
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,586
Really cool.
92
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:03,982
Good.
Satisfactory, I suppose.
93
00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,506
Acceptable.
94
00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:09,074
Outstanding.
95
00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:11,642
Mr. Halke..
96
00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:13,644
...I gather you've worked
with clay before?
97
00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:15,429
Uh, actually, no.
98
00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:18,345
Um, but when I was a kid,
I did eat a lot of play dough.
99
00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:22,392
Well, you appear
to be quite gifted.
100
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:25,482
We may have a prodigy here.
101
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:28,355
Now, let's see
what we have over.. Oh, dear.
102
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:35,013
Honey, don't you listen to him.
You're doin' just fine.
103
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,712
Pfft. I know.
But it is not my fault.
104
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,583
This wheel is off-kilter.
105
00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,106
The lighting stinks
106
00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:43,108
and I haven't seen
a piece of clay this stubborn
107
00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:45,154
since Gumby takes his stand.
108
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:47,983
Well, if it'll make you happy
109
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,724
why don't you
just switch places with me?
110
00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:52,683
Look, real simple. Come on,
you can use my wheel, huh?
111
00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:55,164
- Uh, well, okay.
- Come on, come on.
112
00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:56,948
No problem at all,
no problem at all.
113
00:04:58,472 --> 00:04:59,821
No..
114
00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:01,823
See. Happy?
115
00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:03,607
Yeah, thrilled, thanks.
116
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:07,742
[Dana sighing]
117
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,352
Class.
118
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:11,006
I would like you all
to take a look
119
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:13,225
at a piece of classic pottery.
120
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:16,794
- Oh.
- This is my best piece.
121
00:05:16,881 --> 00:05:20,276
It will, no doubt,
end up one day in a museum.
122
00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:22,583
Enjoy.
123
00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:28,763
[swoosh]
124
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:29,981
[shatters]
125
00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:39,208
[instrumental music]
126
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:40,949
What? What, you never
heard of glue?
127
00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:43,908
[instrumental music]
128
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,218
[phone ringing]
129
00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:54,136
- Hello.
- Hola.
130
00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:56,530
This is Armando Suave.
131
00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:01,926
I want to make
hot passionate love to you.
132
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:03,406
Pervert.
133
00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:07,715
[keypad beeps]
134
00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:10,761
[phone rings]
135
00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:11,980
[sighs]
136
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,590
Listen, you sick freak--
137
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:14,896
Hey, hey, honey, honey, honey,
it's me, it's me.
138
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,332
It was me just now.
139
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:17,725
- Frank?
- 'Yeah.'
140
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:20,249
Why are you making
obscene phone calls?
141
00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:22,817
I wasn't being obscene,
I was doing that
142
00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:25,341
role-playing rendezvous thingy
we talked about.
143
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:28,213
Heh. That's the character
I decided to be.
144
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:31,608
Armando Suave,
the bull fighting
145
00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:33,741
billionaire from Barcelona.
146
00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:35,743
[both laugh]
147
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:38,180
- Frank, that's fantastic.
- 'Yeah. Yeah'
148
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:42,402
- I mean.. Fantastico,Armando.
- 'Uh-huh.'
149
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:45,666
And what would you say
if my name were, uh..
150
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,537
...um, Candy?
151
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:51,759
- Oh, si.
- Candy Apple.
152
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:53,456
Ai-ai-ai.
153
00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:55,240
[laughs]
154
00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:57,242
Jerry Springer is the man!
155
00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:58,722
You're wrong, J.T.
156
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:01,029
Ricki Lake has had
just as many fights
157
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:03,597
per show as Jerry Springer.
158
00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:07,078
Yeah, but has she ever had
cross-dressing Siamese twins
159
00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:09,864
who find out on the show that
they're dating the same guy?
160
00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:11,822
Hm.
161
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:14,999
- You got me there.
- Ha-ha-ha.
162
00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:20,135
Yes, Armando, I'd love
to get together with you
163
00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:23,007
my torrid toreador.
164
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:24,618
[laughs]
165
00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:27,272
Of course, I can
get away tonight. Don't worry.
166
00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:31,189
No, I'll just make some
excuse to my husband.
167
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:32,495
'What should I wear?'
168
00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:34,454
[gasps]
Armando
169
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:36,281
I could get arrested for that.
170
00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:39,284
[laughs]
171
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:47,205
Did you hear that?
Carol's havin' an affair!
172
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:50,426
That is ridiculous. My mother
would never have an affair.
173
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:52,689
Oh, yeah, then how come
we heard her say
174
00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:55,823
[imitating Carol]
"Ha-ha-ha, my torrid toreador..
175
00:07:57,651 --> 00:08:02,351
...I could get arrested
for that. Ha-ha-ha."
176
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:04,266
She sure ain't talkin'
to grandma.
177
00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:06,921
Look, I know it sounded bad
178
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:10,011
but there must be
some explanation.
179
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,360
So, why don't we go in there
180
00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:13,797
and casually try to find out
what's going on?
181
00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:15,930
Fine, but if she's cheating
on my dad..
182
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:19,063
...then he gets to cheat, too.
183
00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:23,981
[laughing]
184
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,985
- Hi, mom.
- Hi, kids.
185
00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:30,074
Gotta go.
186
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:32,990
[clears throat]
So, Carol, who,
who was that on the phone?
187
00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:36,385
Uh, Frank. My husband, Frank.
Uh, you know.
188
00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:39,867
He calls me in the middle
of the day sometimes.
189
00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:42,783
Really?
So when is my dad coming home?
190
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:44,393
Oh, actually, he's not.
191
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,221
Uh, we're gonna meet
for dinner tonight.
192
00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:47,657
Which reminds me, I, uh
193
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:49,485
have to go upstairs
and get ready, so..
194
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:50,530
See ya later.
195
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:53,533
[laughing]
196
00:08:57,754 --> 00:09:00,148
That's it. Your mom is
definitely cheating on my dad.
197
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:02,890
Hold on.
We still don't have any proof.
198
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,021
You want proof? Fine.
199
00:09:04,108 --> 00:09:05,066
Then we'll follow Carol tonight
200
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:06,720
and we'll catch her in the act.
201
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:09,984
J.T., I, I really
don't feel good
202
00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:12,639
about spying on my mom.
203
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:14,945
You mean, because it might
break up the family?
204
00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:17,731
No. Because I have
nothing to wear.
205
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:22,039
[upbeat rock music]
206
00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:27,828
[upbeat rock music]
207
00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:33,050
- Hello.
- Hey, Dana.
208
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,182
What's in the box?
209
00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:35,662
Oh, nothing, just something
210
00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:37,489
I finished
in my pottery class today.
211
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,361
Nothing you guys
would be interested in.
212
00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:42,059
Wait. I wanna see what you made.
213
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:43,757
- Yeah, come on, Dana.
- Uh..
214
00:09:43,844 --> 00:09:45,149
Let's have
a little look-see, huh?
215
00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:47,587
You know,
I-I-I don't want you to..
216
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:54,768
Oh! Oh, Dana.
217
00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:56,596
Well, uh..
218
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:59,381
...this is creative.
219
00:09:59,468 --> 00:10:02,558
Boy, I made something better
than that in kindergarten.
220
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:05,561
[both laughing]
221
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:08,695
Hey. Hey, guys.
222
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:10,479
[laughing]
223
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:12,220
Wha-what's everyone laughin' at?
224
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:13,700
Oh, Dana's artwork.
225
00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,876
[both laughing]
226
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:17,181
Artwork? Please.
227
00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:19,531
Dogs have left prettier things
on our lawn.
228
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,533
[both laughing]
229
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:27,061
- Give me that.
- Honey, is that your pot?
230
00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:29,063
Well, that looks really good.
231
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:32,544
I-I-I especially liked
the, the, uh..
232
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,460
That looks really good.
233
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:38,594
- What did you make, Rich?
- Uh, no-nothin', really.
234
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:41,249
Just, uh, a couple of
knick-knacks, thingamabob
235
00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:42,729
doodad or two.
236
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:44,992
- Oh, let's see 'em.
- I don't think so.
237
00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:48,473
Oh, wait, wait.
What is the matter, Rich?
238
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,475
What are you,
embarrassed to show us
239
00:10:50,562 --> 00:10:53,043
that special project
you've been working on
240
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,741
after class?
Yeah, what happened?
241
00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:56,133
You peaked
on your first pot, huh?
242
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,569
- Yeah, that's it.
- Uh-huh-ha!
243
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,789
I peaked.
244
00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:02,444
- Well, see ya.
- Uh, not so fast.
245
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:04,925
We are all most anxious
246
00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:07,231
to see your creations.
Aren't we, girls?
247
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:08,885
- 'Oh, yeah.'
- Yeah.
248
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:11,888
- 'No, no, honey. It's--'
- Oh, come on, Rich. Unhand it.
249
00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:13,934
Let's see.
250
00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:18,721
Whoo! A big flat plate!
Nice!
251
00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:19,983
- Wait a minute.
- 'Yes, that looks good.'
252
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:21,028
There's something else.
253
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:22,116
[gasps]
254
00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:24,335
Oh, my gosh!
255
00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:25,597
[Lilly gasps]
256
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:29,471
Rich, this is incredible.
257
00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:32,604
Huh! Ha! Well, I'm surprised
you didn't make matching cups.
258
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,216
[gasps]
Look at these.
259
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:36,608
[Lilly gasps]
260
00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:39,960
There's two more.
261
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,657
Hey..
262
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:43,485
I can't believe this.
263
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:44,660
[scoffs]
Y-yeah.
264
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,140
You think you're so perfect.
265
00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:47,750
You forgot to make a lid.
266
00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:51,711
[Alicia]
Oh..
267
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:54,888
[instrumental music]
268
00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:58,152
[piano music]
269
00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:04,158
♪ Are there stars
out tonight? ♪
270
00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:08,292
♪ I don't know if it's cloudy
or bright ♪
271
00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:12,732
♪ 'Cause I only have eyes ♪
272
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:16,648
♪ For you dear ♪
273
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:22,916
[coughing]
274
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,224
Barkeep.
275
00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:28,443
'Tell me.'
276
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:29,923
Who is the muchacho
277
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:31,707
with the voice as smooth
278
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,057
as a baby's buttocks?
279
00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:36,494
Says her name is Candy Apple.
280
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:39,454
♪ And I only ♪
281
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:43,588
♪ Have eyes ♪
282
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:47,244
♪ For ♪
283
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:52,075
♪ You ♪♪
284
00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:53,337
[audience applauding]
285
00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:55,775
Thank you.
286
00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,778
[sighs]
Thank you.
287
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:05,523
Hi, my name is Candy..
288
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:07,569
...Apple.
289
00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:10,790
Buenas noches,
SenoritaApple.
290
00:13:12,182 --> 00:13:14,271
Your voice is..
291
00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:15,707
...magnifico.
292
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,841
Oh, well,
thank you for the compliment.
293
00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:21,931
I don't suppose
it comes with a...drink.
294
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:23,759
Oh!
295
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,196
- Ooh!
- Barkeep!
296
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:29,243
A margarita
for the chiquita senorita.
297
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:30,940
[giggling]
298
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:32,986
And for you, Mr. Iglesias?
299
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,471
A brewsky, por favor.
300
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:45,433
Allow me to introduce myself.
301
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,000
I am
302
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:49,916
Armando Suave.
303
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,179
Whoo!
304
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:59,012
Oh! Ugh.
305
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:02,493
This just proves
my mom is not cheating on Frank.
306
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:03,973
She would never have an affair
307
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,192
in a place that sells
308
00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:08,021
beef jerky at the bar. Ugh!
309
00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:09,587
Come on, let's go.
310
00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:12,590
[laughing]
311
00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:15,724
Oh, yeah?
312
00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:17,944
There she is.
313
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:19,728
[laughing]
314
00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:22,339
Oh, my God! It's true.
315
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,777
[Carol]
Ah, ooh!
316
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,389
You know, SenoritaApple
317
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:31,609
mwah, you are beautiful.
318
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:35,004
But you have a caterpillar
on your wrist.
319
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:36,571
No, Frank, that's,
that's not a caterpillar.
320
00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:38,573
Your moustache fell off.
321
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,144
Uh, listen, I'll just, uh..
322
00:14:44,231 --> 00:14:46,015
I'll go, uh,
repair this in the john.
323
00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:48,191
I mean, heh, the juan.
324
00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:49,889
[both laughing]
325
00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,281
[Carol]
Oh..
326
00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:00,377
That's it. I'm putting an end
to this right now.
327
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,165
Carol, I've got something
to say to you.
328
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:07,907
J.T., Karen,
what are you doing here?
329
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,517
What are we doing here?
330
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:12,346
What are you doing here
dressed like Jessica Rabbit?
331
00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:15,001
Excuse me.
332
00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:16,785
Fine. You don't have to tell me
because I already know.
333
00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:18,047
You're cheating on my father
334
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:20,049
with that lowbred
Ricky Ricardo.
335
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,792
Mom, tell him
that it wasn't your fault.
336
00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,794
Tell him
it was Frank's plaid shirts
337
00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:29,145
and oversized belt buckles
that drove you to this.
338
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:31,234
Oh, wait a minute,
you guys followed me here
339
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:33,628
because you thought
I was cheating on Frank?
340
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:34,890
What are you, out of your minds?
341
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:36,413
We know what we saw.
342
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,241
When that half-baked Romeo
gets out of that bathroom
343
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:40,026
I'm gonna break his nose.
344
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:43,899
Tik tik.
345
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,509
Tik-tik.. Oh!
346
00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:50,993
Oh, this is sicker
than I thought.
347
00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:55,476
Armando looks
exactly like Frank.
348
00:15:57,434 --> 00:16:00,220
Karen, that is Frank.
349
00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:02,178
Then, where is Armando?
350
00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:10,447
What are you guys doing here?
351
00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:12,623
Oh, they followed us here
because they thought
352
00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:14,103
I was cheating on you.
353
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:16,540
Aw, jeez, you guys.
354
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:18,760
W-where did you get
the nerve to spy on us?
355
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:20,153
Where do we get the nerve?
356
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,371
We're not the ones out in public
357
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,547
dressed like Wayne Newton
and Charo.
358
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:28,291
Yeah, and, you know, we have
to live in this town, too.
359
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:31,077
Yeah, well, not under our roof
if you keep up this attitude.
360
00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:32,643
I'll tell you what, dad.
I got an idea.
361
00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:34,254
If you forget
that we followed you here
362
00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:36,647
we'll try to forget we saw you
guys dressed like that.
363
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:41,261
Although, I'm gonna need some
heavy-duty therapy.
364
00:16:42,305 --> 00:16:43,437
It's okay. Come on.
365
00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:44,829
[Karen sighs]
366
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,529
Ah, you were right, Frank.
367
00:16:48,616 --> 00:16:51,227
This was a terrible idea,
and it's all my fault.
368
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,012
No, no, come on, honey.
369
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:54,883
I mean,
who cares if they saw us.
370
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:56,885
Well, we're adults,
we're dressed up
371
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:59,192
and we're here, and..
372
00:16:59,279 --> 00:17:00,715
I don't know about you,
but I was feelin'
373
00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:04,023
our hot marriage gettin' hotter
by the El Segundo.
374
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:05,807
[both giggling]
375
00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:07,330
Come on, you know, uh, you wanna
pick up where we left off?
376
00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:08,505
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
377
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:10,551
- Mean it?
- Absolutely.
378
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:12,509
Senorita
379
00:17:12,596 --> 00:17:15,382
may I have this rumba?
380
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:17,819
Rumba?
Si, si, senor.
381
00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:22,041
[piano music]
382
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:39,536
Honey, let me give you a hand.
383
00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:41,799
- Rich, I do not need your help.
- No, no, it's..
384
00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:43,540
No problem, honey. You just get
the wheel going here.
385
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:45,890
I'm just gonna help you get
started. That's all, that's all.
386
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:49,155
Rich, I am telling you
right now...back off.
387
00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:50,765
Now, honey,
you're gonna get the hang of it.
388
00:17:50,852 --> 00:17:52,071
See, you just got to get
your hands wet.
389
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:54,160
That's it. Really wet.
Wet is good.
390
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:56,205
Wet is your friend.
That's it, see?
391
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:58,599
Rich, I am warning you.
392
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:00,862
Now, honey, you know what you do
when you get frustrated?
393
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,733
You just think about
that little ant
394
00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:05,519
who is trying to move
that rubber tree plant.
395
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:08,522
Huh? Do you know
why he's not frustrated?
396
00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:11,046
♪ He has ♪
397
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,004
♪ High hopes ♪
398
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,746
♪ He's got hi-high hopes ♪
399
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:19,010
♪ He's got high
unh apple pie ♪
400
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,012
♪ In the sky ♪
401
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,405
♪ Ho.. ♪
402
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:27,280
♪ Hope ♪♪
[spits]
403
00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:33,503
Oh, sorry. I slipped.
404
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,681
It's okay.
405
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,727
[spits]
I know you're just
406
00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:41,207
acting out your frustration.
407
00:18:42,643 --> 00:18:44,166
Honey, if I may.
408
00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:46,212
Let me suggest
the Rich Halke method, hm?
409
00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:49,302
Just, uh, relax and..
410
00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:51,260
...let yourself
be at one with the clay.
411
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:53,480
Oh, yeah?
I have a better idea.
412
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:54,959
You be at one with the clay.
413
00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:56,352
Oh!
414
00:18:58,267 --> 00:19:00,574
Alright. That's it.
415
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:03,142
Prepare to eat mud.
416
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:04,360
[Dana screams]
417
00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:05,840
You know what your problem is?
418
00:19:05,927 --> 00:19:07,581
For once, I'm better than you
at something
419
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,322
and you can't handle it.
420
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:10,671
[spits]
421
00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:14,675
Oh, yeah?
Well, uh...handle this.
422
00:19:14,762 --> 00:19:15,719
Argh!
423
00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:19,114
Fine. You know what?
424
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:20,811
You couldn't make a pot
to save your life.
425
00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:22,204
You're the reason
they invented Tupperware.
426
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:23,640
[screams]
427
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:29,472
Okay, alright.
You're going down.
428
00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:30,865
[groaning]
429
00:19:33,911 --> 00:19:35,783
You know, my Uncle Ned
can make a pot better than you.
430
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,045
And he doesn't have any thumbs.
431
00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:39,047
[screaming]
432
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:45,575
Okay, alright.
433
00:19:45,662 --> 00:19:46,924
That's it.
434
00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:49,405
Now, ha-ha-ha!
435
00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:52,539
Yeah. You have gone too far.
436
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:54,541
You wouldn't dare.
437
00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,107
[panting]
438
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,893
- Guess again, poof!
- No!
439
00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:03,158
[laughing]
440
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:06,248
Wow!
441
00:20:06,335 --> 00:20:07,858
I can't believe you did it.
442
00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:11,297
I can't believe
I did it either.
443
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,256
I'm sorry.
444
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:16,998
[laughing]
445
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:20,219
What are you laughin' at?
446
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:23,787
You look like a Smurf
on steroids.
447
00:20:26,094 --> 00:20:27,965
Well, I'm certainly glad
448
00:20:28,052 --> 00:20:29,532
all this time we're spendin'
together is workin' out.
449
00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:31,404
[laughing]
450
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,409
Well, it might,
if we were doing something
451
00:20:36,496 --> 00:20:38,672
that I was halfway good at.
452
00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:42,110
[spits]
Face it, Rich.
I suck at pottery.
453
00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:43,503
And I just hate
454
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:46,288
looking like
a big dumb screw-up.
455
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:48,638
Oh, well, hey!
Welcome to my world.
456
00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:50,249
[chuckles]
457
00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:52,555
I feel like that
in almost everything I do.
458
00:20:54,165 --> 00:20:55,776
Honey, you just gotta realize
459
00:20:55,863 --> 00:20:58,039
that you don't have to be
the best at everything.
460
00:20:58,126 --> 00:21:00,433
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
461
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,783
I know,
I've been acting crazy.
462
00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:04,393
Mm.
463
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:05,742
But it's good to know
464
00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:08,528
that I will always be the best
at one thing.
465
00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:10,573
Yeah? What's that?
466
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:13,837
- This.
- Mmm.
467
00:21:16,449 --> 00:21:18,494
Well, then I am, uh
468
00:21:18,581 --> 00:21:20,409
truly in the presence
of a genius.
469
00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:22,324
[both chuckle]
470
00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:23,499
Mmm.
471
00:21:27,068 --> 00:21:28,199
- Ooh, Frank.
- Hm.
472
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,462
Here's another article on how
473
00:21:29,549 --> 00:21:30,811
we can heat up our marriage.
474
00:21:30,898 --> 00:21:32,943
Oh, gee, honey,
our marriage gets any hotter
475
00:21:33,030 --> 00:21:35,163
I'm gonna have to put a fire
extinguisher by the bed.
476
00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:38,558
[chuckles]
No. It just says here
if we rent gravity boots--
477
00:21:38,645 --> 00:21:40,516
No, uh, wait, wait.
No, no, no, no.
478
00:21:40,603 --> 00:21:44,477
That's it. I have a fantasy
of my own I would like to try.
479
00:21:44,564 --> 00:21:46,740
Oh, yeah? What's that?
480
00:21:46,827 --> 00:21:49,308
I'll be...Frank Lambert.
481
00:21:49,395 --> 00:21:51,353
Handsome contractor
from Sheboygan.
482
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:52,572
Mm-hmm.
483
00:21:52,659 --> 00:21:53,921
You be his wife, Carol.
484
00:21:54,008 --> 00:21:56,315
The beautiful blonde,
bombshell beautician.
485
00:21:56,402 --> 00:21:58,317
I like that, keep going.
486
00:21:58,404 --> 00:22:00,057
We live in a nice house.
487
00:22:00,144 --> 00:22:01,711
We have seven
wonderful children
488
00:22:01,798 --> 00:22:03,583
and we love each other
very much.
489
00:22:03,670 --> 00:22:05,324
Hmm, works for me.
490
00:22:06,803 --> 00:22:08,718
Being Frank and Carol
is really fun.
491
00:22:08,805 --> 00:22:10,633
I told ya.
492
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,026
It'd be more fun
with gravity boots.
493
00:22:12,113 --> 00:22:13,506
Carol.
494
00:22:13,593 --> 00:22:15,551
Just checking.
495
00:22:15,638 --> 00:22:17,771
Maybe a trapeze
or trampoline or somethin'.
33827
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