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1
00:00:00,826 --> 00:00:02,915
[instrumental music]
2
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[balloon deflating]
3
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Man, that's so cool.
4
00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:19,454
Hi, are you like five?
5
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:20,846
Could you knock it off
with the balloon tune?
6
00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:22,152
I'm trying to read here.
7
00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:23,849
Excuse me, Einstein.
8
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:27,418
How many actual words are there
in the swimsuit issue?
9
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:28,854
It just so happens
I'm learning
10
00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:31,901
a lot of educational stuff
about Fiji.
11
00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:33,772
Yeah, like it's a great place
12
00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:35,905
to catch Elle Macpherson
in a thong.
13
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:43,478
Hey! Where's my grape soda?
14
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[burping]
15
00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:51,790
You're out.
16
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:55,272
That was my grape soda.
17
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:59,581
So, that was my Ding Dong
you scarfed down this morning.
18
00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:01,670
So we're even.
19
00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:02,758
No, we're not even.
20
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:04,281
You drank my grape soda
21
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:07,415
so Iam gonna eat
your Cap'n Crunch.
22
00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:08,807
Hey!
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00:01:08,894 --> 00:01:10,592
You get your hands
off the Cap'n.
24
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- Bite me.
- No, I mean it, man.
25
00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:15,162
You get your hands
off my cereal.
26
00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:16,859
- It's mine!
- No. No, it's mine!
27
00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:23,213
Nice going, dipstick.
28
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Fine, you wanna
play hardball?
29
00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:27,087
You wreck my Cap'n Crunch?
30
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:30,177
I am going to take your..
31
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...Lucky Charms.
32
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,052
Take your hands off
the Charms..
33
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...and nobody gets hurt.
34
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Halke!
35
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Halke, you're dead. You're dead!
36
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Aah!
37
00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:53,330
[theme music]
38
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:55,289
♪ Step by step ♪
39
00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:58,944
♪ Day by day ♪♪ A fresh start over ♪
40
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♪ A different hand to play ♪
41
00:02:01,077 --> 00:02:02,818
♪ The deeper we fall ♪
42
00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:05,168
♪ The stronger we stay ♪
43
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,039
♪ We'll make it better ♪
44
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,825
♪ The second time around ♪♪
45
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[instrumental music]
46
00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:32,108
Now, sweetie, after you take
in my dry cleaning
47
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I need you to drop my books off
at the library.
48
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,721
Oh, and then pick up
my nail polish at the pharmacy.
49
00:02:36,808 --> 00:02:38,462
Talk to Diane.
50
00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:40,856
- She's my person there.
- Right. Diane.
51
00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:43,293
Oh, and is today the day
I'm supposed to do your ironing?
52
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,252
No, that's Thursdays.
53
00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:46,775
But uh, if you have time,
you can put
54
00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:49,430
a fresh crease in my culottes.
55
00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:52,998
Alright, okay, well,
um, bye, everybody.
56
00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,609
- Bye.
- Hm.
57
00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:56,741
- Bye, Karen.
- Bye, Chipper.
58
00:02:58,743 --> 00:03:00,005
Oh..
59
00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:08,362
Um, Karen, I could be wrong
here, but, um, didn't Lincoln
60
00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:10,015
free the slaves?
61
00:03:11,452 --> 00:03:14,063
Karen, Chip seems
like a nice guy.
62
00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:16,805
Don't you think you're kinda
taking advantage of him?
63
00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:18,720
Oh, not at all.
64
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:22,550
He told me, making me happy
makes him happy.
65
00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:25,335
So actually, by letting him
run my errands
66
00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:26,902
I'm doing him a favor.
67
00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,862
It's just my way of
giving something back.
68
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:37,391
Well, thank you,
Saint Karen of Assisi.
69
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:40,350
[instrumental music]
70
00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,746
Halke!
71
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:54,756
You miserable little worm.
72
00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:58,063
Gee, J.T., what happened?
Retaining water?
73
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:02,067
This creep shrunk my clothes.
74
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:03,895
I'm sorry, I guess I shouldn't
have washed 'em in hot water.
75
00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:05,201
I was just trying
to do you a favor.
76
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:06,768
No, you weren't,
you did this on purpose
77
00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:08,683
to try to make me
look like a fool.
78
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:11,338
Actually, I think the look
is more village idiot
79
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,209
but I guess fool works.
80
00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:17,039
Oh, you think
this is funny, huh?
81
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:18,954
No. I don't think it's funny.
82
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,825
I, uh, I think
it's hysterical.
83
00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:23,480
[laughing]
84
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,308
That's it, chum.
Get up! Come on!
85
00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:26,788
- Your butt is toast. Come on!
- Oh, yeah? Fine.
86
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,355
You want a piece of me, huh?
You want a piece of me?
87
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:29,399
'Cause I'll rearrange your face.
88
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:30,879
Take your best shot, weasel boy.
89
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:32,707
- Yes! Chick fight!
- 'Come on!'
90
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:34,709
- Come on! Buckle up there!
- Kick your butt!
91
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:36,711
- Alright, alright, alright!
- Come on!
92
00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:39,627
Boy, your fighting is starting
to tick me off.
93
00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:43,152
Oh, J.T., does your daddy
have to save you?
94
00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:44,458
Did your daddy..
95
00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:51,029
Sorry, Mr. L.
96
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,554
- Throw him out, dad.
- I can't throw him out.
97
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:56,296
I need his rent so I can loan
you the money to pay yours.
98
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:01,388
Now, you guys have to
find a way to solve this
99
00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:03,390
and you have to do it fast.
100
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:04,869
I have an idea.
101
00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:07,089
Why don't you two
get some counseling?
102
00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:08,786
Forget it,
I don't need to waste money
103
00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:11,528
to find out Rich is a jerk.
104
00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:14,357
I was just thinking
that maybe I could counsel you.
105
00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:17,534
I think you should
just duke it out.
106
00:05:17,621 --> 00:05:20,145
No, no, no. No.
Now, wait a minute.
107
00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:22,583
I have gotten
straight A's in psychology
108
00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:25,847
and this semester we're studying
dysfunctional relationships.
109
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:27,979
So I can help you
settle your differences
110
00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:29,590
and get a term paper out of it.
111
00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:32,636
Yeah, I'm willing
to give it a shot.
112
00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:34,072
Of course you are,
she's your girlfriend
113
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:35,204
and she hates my guts.
114
00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:36,553
True.
115
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,120
But, uh, the way you've
been fighting lately
116
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,035
I hate both of your guts.
117
00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:42,124
Actually, I feel the same way.
118
00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:44,213
Now I don't care
how you solve it
119
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,562
but you have to stop this fight
120
00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,434
or I'm throwing
the both of you out.
121
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,220
Okay, Dr. Barky.
122
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,179
We'll see you tomorrow at 4:00.
123
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:55,311
I should be able
to pry the underwear
124
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:57,792
out of my butt by that time.
125
00:05:57,879 --> 00:06:00,751
[instrumental music]
126
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:07,062
[sniffing]
127
00:06:10,282 --> 00:06:11,458
Hi, Chip. Where's Karen?
128
00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:13,634
Oh, uh, she's upstairs
taking a shower.
129
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,418
I just brought her over
this new shampoo.
130
00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:17,942
She is sure it's gonna give her
hair just the right bounce.
131
00:06:20,989 --> 00:06:22,512
What are you doing
with those magazines?
132
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,906
Oh, I'm taking all the
perfume samples out of them.
133
00:06:24,993 --> 00:06:26,386
That way,
Karen can decide which one
134
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:27,430
she wants me to
pick up for her.
135
00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:28,692
What do you think of this one?
136
00:06:28,779 --> 00:06:31,173
- How much does it cost?
- $55 an ounce.
137
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,523
- She'll love it.
- Great.
138
00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:38,267
Chip, I don't like to meddle
139
00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:42,097
but doesn't it bother you
to run all over Port Washington
140
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:45,666
just to find a shampoo
with the right amount of bounce?
141
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,711
Oh, I didn't get
the shampoo here.
142
00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:49,234
I had to go to Chicago for it.
143
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,194
It's got jojoba.
144
00:06:54,109 --> 00:06:57,242
You went to Chicago
just to get Karen shampoo?
145
00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:59,854
Oh, I wouldn't have gone
there just to get shampoo.
146
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,682
- I'm glad to hear that.
- Yeah.
147
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,118
She also wanted me to pick up
the new French "Vogue."
148
00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:04,641
It doesn't go on sale here
until tomorrow.
149
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,775
Oh, we better talk.
150
00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:10,255
Chip, now, I love my daughter.
151
00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:13,781
But Karen has a tendency
to be slightly manipulative.
152
00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:17,175
Thanks for the tip.
153
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:20,178
I'll watch out for that.
154
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:23,138
Chip, it's happening already.
Think about it!
155
00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:26,707
Karen's treating you
like a delivery boy.
156
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:28,926
You know, now that
you mention it, uh
157
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:31,799
this relationship does seem
a little one-sided.
158
00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,104
As a matter of fact,
on my way home
159
00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:34,236
from Detroit the other day--
160
00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:35,933
You went to Detroit?
161
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:37,282
Well, yeah, they were
all out of the magazine
162
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,893
she wanted in Chicago.
163
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,764
Oh, for God's sake, Chip.
164
00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:42,331
Don't you have
any self-respect?
165
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,855
Karen's treating you
like her personal servant
166
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,944
and you are letting her
walk all over you.
167
00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:49,207
Now, damn it, Chip,
stand up to her!
168
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:53,647
You know, Mrs. Lambert..
169
00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:55,692
...you're right.
170
00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:58,652
I am being taken advantage
of here and I do not like it.
171
00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:02,220
Well, tell her how you feel.
172
00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:03,918
Doggone it, I will.
173
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,400
I can't believe
they passed this off
174
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,229
as a salon formula shampoo.
175
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:13,057
They call this bounce?
176
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:18,541
It doesn't have
an ounce of bounce.
177
00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:20,500
Chip, would you be an angel
and write an angry letter
178
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,327
to the company
that I can sign?
179
00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:25,113
No.
180
00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:32,424
Did he say no?
181
00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:35,471
I don't like to meddle.
182
00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:38,082
Uh, Karen,
I have just had a very
183
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,171
eye-opening conversation
with your mother.
184
00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:41,695
She has really, uh,
straightened me out
185
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:43,305
about our relationship.
186
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:48,179
I think I'll be leaving now.
187
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,181
No, Mrs. Lambert,
I, I want you to hear this.
188
00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:53,663
Karen,
since we have been going out
189
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:56,318
I have been the only one
that's going out.
190
00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:57,885
I mean, I've-I've been going out
to Chicago
191
00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:00,191
I've been going out to Detroit.
192
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:02,237
The bottom line is, uh..
193
00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:04,892
I think you've been taking
advantage of me.
194
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:06,807
Chip, what's gotten into you?
195
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:10,637
Maybe a little backbone.
196
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,943
You know, this relationship
isn't working for me anymore.
197
00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:16,251
Karen, I've made a decision.
We're through.
198
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:17,469
- What?
- What?
199
00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:20,342
Goodbye, Karen.
200
00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:22,257
Thank you, Mrs. Lambert.
201
00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:27,479
Oh, next time,
get your own jojoba.
202
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:32,746
[instrumental music]
203
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,930
What did you say to him?
204
00:09:44,279 --> 00:09:45,585
Who, Chip?
205
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:48,196
Yes.
206
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,024
I go upstairs
to take a shower
207
00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:52,722
and when I come back,
my sweet little Chipper
208
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:56,683
throws me away like
a polyester pantsuit.
209
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:58,554
You must have put
the idea in his head.
210
00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:00,991
No, no, I did not tell him
to break up with you.
211
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:03,864
I just told him to stop letting
you take advantage of him.
212
00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:06,170
I do not take
advantage of him.
213
00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:09,043
You sent him to Detroit
to buy a magazine.
214
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,175
See, that is where you're wrong.
215
00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:14,439
I didn't send him to Detroit,
I sent him to Chicago.
216
00:10:14,526 --> 00:10:16,528
They were out.
Is that my fault?
217
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,313
Karen, that is bull.
218
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,445
You treated him like dirt
and now you're paying for it.
219
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:22,926
Well, thanks a lot.
220
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:24,580
From now on,
I'd appreciate it
221
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:27,104
if you'd stay out
of my relationships.
222
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:29,237
Hey!
What is all this yelling about?
223
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:30,586
I'm trying to study in here.
224
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,414
You're not gonna believe
what mom just did.
225
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:35,896
Well, then don't bother
telling me. Just hold it down.
226
00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:38,072
Al!
227
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:41,205
She interfered
in my relationship with Chip.
228
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:42,642
And now he dumped me.
229
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,252
Alright!
230
00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:47,647
It's about time someone
freed Willie. Way to go, Carol.
231
00:10:50,606 --> 00:10:52,086
Don't tell me
you're taking her side.
232
00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:54,523
It's not about sides.
it's about right and wrong.
233
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,917
Exactly. We're right
and you're wrong.
234
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:01,661
I don't believe it.
The whole world's against me.
235
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:04,359
Aw, not the whole world.
236
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:06,056
Just your family.
237
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:09,756
What?
238
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:11,714
[instrumental music]
239
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:17,720
[Dana]
'You know, I think
you should know'
240
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,853
that in my approach to therapy
241
00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:23,378
I've borrowed generously
from the great Sigmund Freud
242
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:28,035
and while not a strict Freudian,
we do share one rule.
243
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:29,689
No eating.
244
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:36,434
Now...if we're gonna solve this
245
00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:39,394
we need to go all the way back
to the beginning.
246
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,789
Okay.
247
00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:45,356
[exhales]
Well, I had a really tough time
248
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,403
with my potty training.
249
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:57,455
Not that far back, you doofus.
250
00:11:57,542 --> 00:12:00,676
What I meant was, before all
the fighting started, okay?
251
00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:03,287
So how were things when you
first moved in together?
252
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:04,724
- Oh.
- Well, um..
253
00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:08,336
They were great. I was happy.
254
00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:10,207
J.T.?
255
00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:13,167
Yeah, things were great.
256
00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:15,778
I mean, we really clicked.
257
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:19,564
And we like the same
music and movies.
258
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:22,698
Gee, we used to go
to the movies a lot.
259
00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:27,703
Then we'd come home,
stay up the whole night
260
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:30,619
just talkin'.
261
00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:33,535
Some nights we just
didn't have to talk at all.
262
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:40,281
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
263
00:12:40,368 --> 00:12:41,935
We always knew what
each other was thinkin'.
264
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,980
Yeah.
265
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:46,069
Well, the Sunday mornings
were my favorite.
266
00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:47,941
We'd get up, we'd read
the newspaper together.
267
00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:49,333
That's right,
you'd read the sports section
268
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:52,075
- I'd read the funnies.
- Well, then we'd yell..
269
00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:53,598
- "Switch."
- "Switch."
270
00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,690
- And we would.
- We would, yeah.
271
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,083
Every time.
272
00:13:01,389 --> 00:13:02,869
Oh, God, I miss those days.
273
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:04,958
[both sigh]
274
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:09,701
This is good.
275
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,181
Strange, but good.
276
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:14,750
So, what went wrong?
277
00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:16,317
I'll tell you what went wrong.
278
00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:18,885
He started naggin' me.
Nag, nag, nag.
279
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:20,408
Yeah, well, maybe
I wouldn't be such a nag
280
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,976
if you didn't turn into
a selfish filthy slob.
281
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,891
I kept coming home
and tripping over your laundry
282
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:27,719
and your leftover pizza, even
your damn toenail clippings.
283
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:32,768
Would you just clip your
toenails on your own bed?
284
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:35,858
I do. It's not my fault
they fly across the room.
285
00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:39,514
Well, next time give me
a warning and I won't sleep
286
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:40,907
with my mouth open.
287
00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:50,003
Guys, it's obvious that
this isn't working, alright?
288
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:52,222
So let's move on
to role playing.
289
00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:53,789
Cool. Can I be James Bond?
290
00:13:55,399 --> 00:13:57,924
No, Brainiac,
she means I pretend to be you
291
00:13:58,011 --> 00:13:59,882
and you pretend to be me.
292
00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:01,449
Sorry, I can't. I'm too tall.
293
00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:05,105
Ow, ha-ha. Oh, my side. My side.
294
00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:07,411
Well, I certainly can't be you
because I have a brain.
295
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:09,761
Oh-oh, my side!
Ho-ho, ho-ho!
296
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,676
You have a brain?
Your brain's this big.
297
00:14:11,763 --> 00:14:12,982
Yeah, at least I have one,
I'd rather have a little one
298
00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:14,418
than have no brain at all.
299
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:16,203
- Alright, stop!
- You have no brain whatsoever!
300
00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:19,293
Now if you're gonna
act like children
301
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:21,556
I'm gonna treat you
like children, alright?
302
00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:24,646
We'll use this stuff that
I got from the psych department.
303
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:28,084
Now, either we try
the role playing now
304
00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:31,087
or we move on
to puppet therapy.
305
00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:36,876
So, who wants to be Puffy
and who wants to be Fluffy?
306
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:40,880
Role playing it is.
307
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:43,491
I knew you'd see it my way.
308
00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:47,016
[instrumental music]
309
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:48,496
[doorbell ringing]
310
00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:56,504
[Karen]
'Chip.'
311
00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:57,984
Hello, Karen.
312
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:01,596
Would you like to come in?
313
00:15:01,683 --> 00:15:04,251
Fine, but uh,
I think you should know
314
00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:06,079
the only reason I'm here is to
collect all the money I laid out
315
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:07,645
for your dry cleaning
and cosmetics.
316
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:10,039
Here's an itemized statement.
317
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:11,736
Of course.
318
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,913
[sighs]
Can we talk first?
319
00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:16,654
Fine.
320
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,618
I just wanted to apologize
for the way I treated you.
321
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:26,012
Look, you have
every right to be mad.
322
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:28,753
And I understand
why you broke up with me.
323
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:32,235
But if you'd give me
a second chance
324
00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:34,281
things would be different.
325
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:37,937
Oh, well, uh..
326
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:42,289
I usually don't do this.
327
00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:45,031
I mean, you know, ahem,
I'm more of a, uh
328
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,815
love 'em and leave 'em
kinda guy.
329
00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:48,991
But, uh..
330
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,951
...I'll give it a shot.
331
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:55,084
Oh, Chip,
that would be wonderful.
332
00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:58,000
- You won't regret it.
- Okay, on one condition.
333
00:15:58,087 --> 00:16:00,307
Alright?
We do things on my terms.
334
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:03,266
Dinner tomorrow night, 7:30,
I'm thinkin' Chinese.
335
00:16:03,353 --> 00:16:05,486
- I hate Chinese.
- Karen?
336
00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:08,358
But I could try it again.
337
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:11,709
You know, I'm starting to like
the new assertive Chip.
338
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:16,018
You know, so am I.
339
00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:18,542
Yeah, as a matter of fact..
340
00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:20,588
...I think,
I'm gonna tell my mom
341
00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:22,807
I can stay out
later than 10:30.
342
00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:28,074
[instrumental music]
343
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:33,079
So what do you see in this one?
344
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:34,950
Cameron Diaz
on a bear skin rug.
345
00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:39,085
- How 'bout this one?
- Cameron Diaz in a hot tub.
346
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,175
- And this one?
- Mm.
347
00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:43,959
Cameron Diaz naked on a Zamboni.
348
00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:49,399
So you see Cameron Diaz
in all of these ink blots?
349
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:50,792
Hey, don't blame me,
you're the one who brought
350
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:53,882
all the sexy pictures.
351
00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:57,277
Alright, I've tried every
psychological technique I know.
352
00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:59,279
The only thing left
is bataka sticks.
353
00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:02,543
- Oh. Thai food, I could eat.
- Mmm!
354
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:06,068
No. These are bataka sticks.
355
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:08,244
Their purpose is to help
you get rid of your anger.
356
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:11,552
Now, I want you to say
how you feel
357
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:13,902
then hit the bed
as hard as you can
358
00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:16,296
with the bataka sticks.
359
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:18,211
- Hit the bed?
- Yes!
360
00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:20,778
That way you get rid of your
anger and nobody gets hurt.
361
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:23,172
But what's the point if I can't
hit the little weasel boy?
362
00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:25,348
Hey, if you listen
for once in your life
363
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:27,481
maybe she'll explain it to ya.
364
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:29,961
Hey! Don't try to sneak
in a free one.
365
00:17:33,313 --> 00:17:35,010
You do that again,
and I'll break your face.
366
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:36,664
Do what again? This?
367
00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:39,971
- That's it, you're dead, man.
- Oh!
368
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,886
Alright! Okay, okay!
369
00:17:41,973 --> 00:17:43,627
[indistinct shouting]
370
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:46,195
Wait a minute. You're supposed
to be hitting the bed.
371
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:47,588
You're supposed
to be hitting the bed!
372
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:49,677
[clamoring]
373
00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:50,852
Please, just..
374
00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:53,681
Stop it! Just stop it!
375
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,343
Ah, Barky, calm down.
376
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:05,084
You're gonna bust
a blood vessel.
377
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:08,478
- Yeah, honey, relax.
- "Relax?"
378
00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:11,264
I've spent the last two hours
379
00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:13,483
watching you two
rip each other apart!
380
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,703
This has been
a total waste of time!
381
00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:18,836
You shouldn't be roommates!
You shouldn't even be friends!
382
00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,534
As a matter of fact,
you should never even
383
00:18:20,621 --> 00:18:22,318
talk to each other again,
'cause it's obvious
384
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,103
that you hate each other's guts!
385
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,243
Now, honey..
386
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,856
I mean, uh..
387
00:18:38,943 --> 00:18:41,120
I may be ticked off at J.T.
388
00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:44,645
but...I don't exactly hate him.
389
00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:48,039
Yeah. Barky, sit down here.
390
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,433
- Yeah, sweetie.
- You look a little pale.
391
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,264
I mean, hate's a-a really
strong word.
392
00:18:55,351 --> 00:18:57,005
I use that for really
terrible things.
393
00:18:57,092 --> 00:19:01,096
You know, like, school,
work, John Tesh.
394
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:04,447
What about, uh,
Michael Bolton?
395
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:06,884
Oh, man,
he sucks big time, man.
396
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:11,237
Hey, you remember, remember that
girl you went out with
397
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:12,412
that kinda looked like
Michael Bolton?
398
00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:14,631
[laughing]
399
00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:16,894
Oh, yeah, yeah,
you went out with her roommate
400
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,635
the Russian chick, you know,
the one with the mustache?
401
00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:20,724
[laughing]
402
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:22,204
[Rich]
'Oh, yeah, remember we
took 'em to a dark place'
403
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:23,771
where no one would see us?
404
00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:26,643
Oh, yeah! And the pathetic part
was they dumped us.
405
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:28,471
[laughing]
406
00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:30,081
Oh, wait, wait, wait,
wait, remember, remember
407
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,648
then afterwards
we went to th-this
408
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,737
all-night taco stand
and we got food poisoning?
409
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:35,130
Oh, yeah, then we spent
the whole night
410
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:36,175
hurling in the alley.
411
00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:37,785
[both laughing]
412
00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:40,135
- Damn, those were good times.
- They sure were.
413
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:42,181
- Oh.
- Whoo.
414
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:45,053
Well, sounds like
you two had some
415
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:48,665
pretty great,
lousy times together.
416
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,582
Yeah, I guess we kinda did.
417
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:57,152
It would be a shame
for it to all end now.
418
00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,067
Yeah, I bet there's
thousands of lame things
419
00:19:59,154 --> 00:20:00,547
we haven't even done yet.
420
00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:06,553
J.T., I'm sorry,
I was acting like such a nag.
421
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,120
I promise I'll work on it.
422
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,731
Oh, it's okay, buddy,
you only nag me
423
00:20:10,818 --> 00:20:12,602
because I was such a slob.
424
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:14,604
And I promise, from now on
425
00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:16,650
I'll clip my toenails
outside, huh?
426
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:19,392
Fair enough.
427
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:21,655
So what do you say, huh?
428
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:24,179
- Stay roommates?
- Better.
429
00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:26,050
What do you say
we stay friends?
430
00:20:28,401 --> 00:20:29,706
I love you, man.
431
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:33,754
I love you, man.
Come here, aw!
432
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,280
- Ah.
- Oh.
433
00:20:44,852 --> 00:20:46,593
Sorry, I just got
a little carried away.
434
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,160
No, no, no.
Come back here, yeah.
435
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:52,163
[instrumental music]
436
00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:57,299
[instrumental music]
437
00:20:59,388 --> 00:21:01,521
Come on, Xena,
kickin' butt, takin' name.
438
00:21:01,608 --> 00:21:02,783
Ooh!
439
00:21:08,963 --> 00:21:10,660
J.T., what are you doin'?
440
00:21:10,747 --> 00:21:12,880
I'm watchin' my future wife
slay a cyclops.
441
00:21:14,185 --> 00:21:16,013
- Oh.
- Hey!
442
00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:17,711
This place is a pigsty, man.
443
00:21:17,798 --> 00:21:19,669
I thought you promised
you'd stop acting like a slob.
444
00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:21,497
And you promised
to stop naggin' me.
445
00:21:21,584 --> 00:21:23,238
- Nag, nag, nag.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
446
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:25,936
Well, I wouldn't nag you
so much if you wouldn't..
447
00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:27,677
Alright, wait a second.
448
00:21:27,764 --> 00:21:29,244
Before we get
into another fight
449
00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:30,985
we should just do
what Dana told us to do.
450
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,509
I think you're right.
451
00:21:44,128 --> 00:21:46,653
You know, Puffy
452
00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:50,787
when you make a mess,
it hurts my wittle feelings.
453
00:21:54,051 --> 00:21:56,663
I'm sorry, Fluffy.
454
00:21:56,750 --> 00:22:01,363
From now on,
I'll be a good boy.
455
00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:05,454
Good, 'cause I'm tired of living
with a big selfish slob.
456
00:22:07,021 --> 00:22:11,373
And I'm tired of living
with a little whiny nag!
457
00:22:13,201 --> 00:22:14,550
Oh, yeah?
458
00:22:14,637 --> 00:22:16,030
Bite me, sock boy!
459
00:22:16,117 --> 00:22:17,988
[indistinct chatter]
33409
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