Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

Spoons up, and set, go!

- I win! - Damn.

In your face.

- Two out of three. - Okay.

Whoa.

Whoa, Karen, that's some outfit.

Yeah. Is it Halloween already?

You better be nice to me, I'm about to become

a huge movie star.

Uh-oh, sounds like someone's nail polish remover's makin' her

all loopy again.

No, actually, there is a real Hollywood movie company in town.

Filming a scene at the Elm Street Diner.

Yup, starring Jeremy Beck.

He's kind of a cross between Kevin Bacon and Brad Pitt.

So, he's kind of a Bacon Pitt. Oh! Oh! Oh!

[laughing]

Yeah, laugh all you want.

But I can see it all now.

I'm going to walk on to the set

Jeremy will fall madly in love with me

and make me a star.

We'll have a fabulous celebrity wedding

at my dear friend Madonna's estate.

But our marriage will end tragically

when Jeremy leaps to his death

from the balcony of our Malibu mansion

because my career has eclipsed his.

Goodbye, my love. Farewell.

[sobs]

Meanwhile, back on Earth..

...the rest of us will be auditioning

for waitress number one.

The bit part they're giving to a local girl.

Oh, man, give it up. You guys don't have a chance.

Every star-struck babe for a 100 miles will be auditioning.

Yeah, except for one girl I know who's not gonna be there.

And that...is my Dana.

She has a good head on her shoulders

and is way too down to earth to wanna become an actress.

Hark.

"What light through yonder window breaks?"

It is me and I am gonna get the part in that movie.

You?

But you don't care about movies or acting.

No, I don't, Elvira.

But I do care about money.

The role pays $518.

Properly invested in a multi-national corporation

and figuring in stocks splits and re-investing dividends

I'm looking at total financial independence by the time I'm 29.

And I am gonna be her boy toy.

[theme song]

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over ♪

♪ A different hand to play ♪

♪ The deeper we fall ♪

♪ The stronger we stay ♪

♪ And we'll make it better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪♪

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

Okay, come on in.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Uh, stop right there. Thank you.

Look, look, there's Jeremy Beck.

He's so much shorter than I thought.

That's 'cause he's sitting down.

Next.

Uh. Step aside, peasants.

Make way for a star.

Karen Foster. Actress.

Max Thomas. Director.

- 'Whenever you're ready.' - Ahem.

What can I get you today?

Just coffee.

Coming right up, Brad.

You know me?

Well, sort of.

From high school, but you don't know me.

Okay.

Thank you very much, that was a very..

...asthmatic performance.

- 'We'll get back to you.' - Okay.

Did-did you hear that? He said I was very asthmatic.

I got it. I got it!

- Next. - Next.

Hi. I'm Dana Foster.

Uh, before we begin, I'd like to discuss

my character's background.

Your what?

I see waitress number one as a victim.

A brilliant young woman forced to work

in a subservient demeaning job.

- Alright, excuse us-- - Just a second.

Her dreams and ambitions are crushed beneath the boot heel

of the male-dominated power structure.

Next.

Wha.. Wait a minute. I didn't even get to read the lines.

Yes, I know, but we're looking for someone to play a waitress

not a terrorist.

Ted.

Wait, you know, I didn't even

want this stupid part anyway.

Movies stink. Hey, real actors stick to the theater.

[pounding on window]

[no audio]

[pounding on glass]

[taps on glass]

Next.

So is there anything special

you'd like me to do with the part?

Just do it like a normal person and we'll be thrilled.

- What can I get you today? - Just coffee.

Coming right up, Brad.

You know me?

Uh, yeah. Well, sort of.

From high school, but you don't know me.

You were captain of the football team

and I was just a freshman.

Man, that seems like a long time ago.

How about that coffee?

Yeah, right away.

- Hey, kiddo. What's your name? - Al Lambert.

Well, congratulations, Al Lambert. You got the part.

Wow. Cool. Thanks.

Yeah, we'll get you a script, some papers for you to sign.

Then you come back tomorrow, rehearse a little bit.

Then we'll shoot the scene. Okay?

Any questions?

Yeah, are you gonna finish those fries? I'm starving.

Thank you.

[instrumental music]

Frank, I need the mixie. You done fixing it yet?

Yep, honey. Just finished. This baby is ready to roll.

[whirs]

[clanking]

With, uh, just a couple of minor adjustments here.

- This baking thing is hard. - I know.

But it's for a good cause.

If we raise enough money at the bake sale

your class gets to go to the Milwaukee Zoo.

My mommy and I are gonna bake something

that's getting her lots more money than your cookies.

Well, isn't that nice.

What time did you say your mommy's gonna pick you up?

After she's done getting the BMW waxed.

Oh, no surprise there.

Okay, honey.

This time, I got it.

[whirring]

I told you so.

[yelps]

It's just a little, uh, fire.

[huffing]

Uh..

[coughs]

If you need me, I'll be at the appliance store.

Good idea.

[knock on door]

- That's my mom. - Oh, goodie.

I'll get it.

Hi. I'm Karen Lambert.

I'm Traci's mother, Ellen Spencer.

Nice to meet you.

Oh, Traci, sweetie. Don't sit there.

- Gee, this is a lovely house. - Well, thank you.

And very well maintained for this side of town.

Well, I see where Traci gets her charm.

Guess what?

Lilly and her mommy are making cookies

for the school bake sale.

Chocolate chip cookies. They're kind of my specialty.

My Traci and I are making a raspberry cheesecake

with a fudge drizzle

and white chocolate shavings.

We got the recipe from Martha Stewart.

We got ours from grandma.

Well, gotta run.

Traci, sweetie, go hop in mommy's shiny Beemer.

See you at the bake sale.

[door closes]

Can't wait.

- Mommy? - What?

I don't wanna bake cookies anymore.

Why not?

Because they're gonna look stupid

next to Traci's fudgy, drizzly thing.

No, they're not. No, they're not.

Because you and I are gonna bake something

that's gonna make their fudgy drizzly thing

look like something the cat spit up.

Right.

We're gonna kick some bake sale butt.

Yeah.

[instrumental music]

Excuse me, um, I'm Al Lambert. Where do I go?

Al Lambert. Oh, uh, hair, make-up.

♪ Walking like a man hitting like a hammer ♪

♪ She's a juvenile scam never was a quitter ♪

♪ Tasty like a raindrop she's got the look ♪

♪ Heavenly bound 'cause heaven's got a number ♪

♪ When she's spinnin' me around kissin' is a color ♪

♪ Her lovin' is a wild dog she's got the look ♪

♪ She's got the look ♪♪ She's got the look ♪

♪ She's got the look ♪♪ She's got the look ♪

♪ What in the world can make a brown-eyed girl turn blue ♪

♪ When everything I'll ever do I'll do for you ♪

♪ And I go la la la la la ♪

♪ She's got the look ♪

♪ Fire in the ice naked to the T-bone ♪

♪ Is a lover's disguise bangin' on the head drum ♪

♪ Shakin' like a mad bull she's got the look ♪

♪ Swaying to the band moving like a hammer ♪

♪ She's a miracle man lovin' is the ocean ♪

♪ Kissin' is the wet sand she's got the look ♪

♪ She's got the look ♪♪

Okay, everybody, and background.

And action.

- What can I get you today? - Just coffee.

Coming right up, Brad.

You know me?

Oh, yeah. Uh, from high school.

You don't know me though.

You were captain of the football team

and...I was just a freshman.

That seems like a long time ago.

How about that coffee, huh?

Right away.

- And cut. - And that's a cut, everybody.

Let's take five.

[Max] 'Nice job, Jeremy.'

- Al, that was great. - Really?

Yeah, it was perfect. You're a natural.

You could have a real future in this business.

- I could? - Yeah.

As a matter of fact, Jeremy, you know that scene

we're supposed to shoot later?

The actress got hung up in LA.

So why don't we rewrite the scene

and shoot it with Al here?

Great idea.

What do you think, Al? Would you like to do that?

Are you kidding? I'll do that and wash your car.

[instrumental music]

Frank, taste this frosting. I'm experimenting with a new recipe.

I put a little brandy and rum in it.

Wow.

That really packs a punch, honey.

- Yeah, is it too strong? - Well, not for me.

But you could put an umbrella in it

serve it up pool side.

[gasps] Hey, here's our movie star. How was your day?

Yeah, come on, tell us all about it.

It was incredible, you know.

It-it was the best day of my life.

The director told me I was a natural.

Oh, that's wonderful. I couldn't be happier for you, Al.

Oh, you haven't heard the best part of it yet.

They said I was so good, they're putting me

in another scene tonight. I just ran home to tell you.

I mean, is that totally cool or what?

Totally. Oh..

Oh, Al, this is gonna be such a wonderful memory for you.

This isn't just gonna be a memory.

I mean, this is my future.

I wanna quit school and move to Hollywood.

[instrumental music]

Now, let me get this straight, you wanna quit high school

and move to Hollywood.

How can I put this, Al, in a way

that you'll be sure to understand?

No!

I knew you wouldn't understand.

Oh, I can understand, Al.

But nobody in this house is droppin' out of anything

to move anywhere, especially Hollywood.

Do you know the kind of freaks they have out there?

They got, they-they got drug pushers and gang bangers

a-and Pauly Shore.

Frank.

Look, you both have a point.

Why don't we just discuss this later

when everyone cools down, okay?

I don't wanna cool down.

No one is listening to me.

I want to be an actress.

'I don't know, maybe I always did.'

But it's like I finally found myself today.

You know, I mean, for once in my life, I felt special.

Well, Al, you are special. And don't ever forget that.

Ugh. That's not what I mean.

[sighs]

Alright, look.

Dana is the smart one, right?

And Karen is the gorgeous one.

And I, I'm just good old Al. The dependable one.

The one that never does anything out of the ordinary.

Well, today, I did something out of the ordinary.

And I loved it. Can't you see that?

Al, I hear what you're saying and I'm really glad

you had a great experience today, but--

But you are 17 years old, young lady.

You're not droppin' out of school to move to Hollywood.

Why, I'm old enough to make my own decision.

If I wanna go, I will.

Now, if you'll excuse me

I'm needed on the set.

[instrumental music]

[door closes]

[sighs]

Lilly, you can come down now and help!

Goodie, goodie, goodie.

What is it?

It's the cake you made for the bake sale.

But mommy, everybody's going to know

I didn't bake that cake.

Oh, don't worry about it. All the parents help.

Besides, now you'll have something better

than Traci and her snooty BMW mom.

Won't that be great?

I don't wanna take that cake to school.

Why not?

Because I didn't help at all.

That's your cake, mommy. Not mine.

Come here.

Mommy just got carried away and I'm really sorry.

- Will you forgive me? - Sure. Mommies make mistakes.

[chuckles]

- Uh-oh. - What?

Now I don't have anything

to bring to the bake sale.

Yes, you do, you have the cookie dough

you made from yesterday.

Why don't you get back up on the stool

and I'll get the dough and you can make a big batch of cookies?

- And I will just watch. - Cool.

Honey, you might wanna make those just a little smaller.

- Mommy.. - No, just watching.

[instrumental music]

Okay, everybody, let's focus.

We get Al's close up and we've got the scene.

This is scene 26. Charlie, take one.

[Max] 'And action.'

So, Brad, why'd you come back to town anyway?

- 'To see my old girlfriend.' - 'And what happened?'

[Brad] 'Do you know what it's like'

'to love somebody with all your heart and soul?'

And they don't even know you exist?

Yeah, I do.

I bet a girl like you could get any guys you wanted.

Well, see, uh...that was my problem...you know

'cause I didn't want just any guy.

I wanted someone really special.

'Who seemed way out of my league.'

So did you ever get over him?

Afraid not.

Well, any guy that missed his, uh, his opportunity

with a great girl like you must be a real jerk.

Uh, what do, what do I owe you for this?

Nothin'. It's on me.

Alright. Thank you very much.

Uh..

Maybe, maybe I'll see you around.

[door closes]

I'll be waiting.

And cut.

[applauding]

[indistinct chatter]

Jeremy, come back in.

Oh, no. Dad, don't make a scene.

Oh, don't worry, Al. I'm not going to.

What are you doing here?

Well, to tell you the truth, I was gonna come down here

and drag you home and ground you till you were like 30.

Then I, uh, saw you do that scene. Al, you were amazing.

- You really think so? - Oh, yeah.

You were way better than pretty boy over there.

Shh, dad.

Pretty boy is the star of the movie.

Yeah, well, he's not the star of the movie to me.

Al, you have a wonderful gift.

Thanks, dad.

So, you kinda understand how I feel

about this whole acting thing?

Oh, absolutely.

Absolutely, like I can quit school and move to Hollywood?

Not a chance.

Al, listen.

No-no matter how good you are

you still have to finish school.

Dad, dad, I love this. So much.

I don't wanna stop doing it. Not for a minute.

Well, you don't have to, I mean, in-in high school

you can enroll in all the drama programs, huh?

And-and then, in-in the summer

I can get you a job at the Port Washington Summer Theater.

I built their steps.

Okay.

But when I get my diploma, if I still wanna go to Hollywood

you'll let me.

When you're ready..

...I'll drive you there myself.

[instrumental music]

[dramatic music]

Hello, Jeremy.

Karen, thank God you've come.

Please, I'm begging you.

You must give me one more chance.

Accept it like a man, Jeremy. It's over.

I-I swear..

Look, I swear, if you leave me now..

...I'll go back to our Malibu mansion..

...blow my brains out.

Don't you dare!

I just had it recarpeted.

Goodbye, Jeremy.

Karen, please. Karen.

'Karen. Karen.'

'Karen, please, Karen.'

[Dana] 'Karen? Karen, wake up.'

Oh. Just give me five more minutes.

I have him right where I want him.