All language subtitles for Self touch days★Zìmō tiānhòu 自摸天后 (2005) V.O.S.English

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Original subtitles

Half catty of tender beef

Are they fresh?

Give me more green

Fanny, just help us

You know

A has conflicts with B and C dislikes D

They don't play if you're not here

We always lack one

No, I was scolded by husband many times

He doesn't allow me to play outside in the afternoon

How does he know when you're back at 5?

I act like luring other guys. No

Don't you know? It feels like hands being bitten by bugs...

Itchy, irresistible!

I know

It's good

Your husband don't get back for days so often!

No, He said he's in Macau and

will be back before 5

That's fine. You go back at 6

He never knows it

I'm coming!

Fanny's gonna play!

Coming

Wait!

They're hurried to lose. I'm coming!

1 Dot

What did you discard?

8 Dots

Chow

2 Characters

No,,,

I must stop you winning

You've won me for 9 days...4 Dots, right?

Then I'll throw 1 Dot

How many times have I taught you?

Throw 1 to lure 4. It's fake for sure

Then I'm gonna Pong it

Self-made. Purity!

Self-made, Semipure and All Bangos!

Stop...Stop...

Self-made, Green Dragon and 1s-and-9s!

You win again! How can we beat you?

Honey

You're not home?

Sure. I'm buying some fruit

I'm going back very soon

You can drink the soup when you're back

Fanny, The papaya's so fresh today

Yes...talk to you later

I fear they'll cheat me

Bye

My god,,,end today,,,

How about this? How about this?

Hold it and count next day, Bye!

You place the tiles randomly on purpose?

No. I have no glasses today

1 tile to win

Waiting for which ones?

Here

1 and 4 Dots?

No

Let me help you

Self-made!

My husband

'"Making'" with your husband will do

You pervert!

Oh masturbation, just like celebration

Don't you know that?

He doesn't allow me to play outside in the afternoon

I'm gonna make the soup at home

Mr. Wong. You're back

Damn

Husband's faster than me

Excuse me

Excuse me! Already one here?

(Wet paint)

I gotta get back faster than him

Darling

Shit! Must be playing Mahjong outside

Honey, you're back

We'll have dinner after shower

I won't eat at home tonight

Why?

I'm following the Demon to run gambling ships, you know

He invited a renowned Korean guest over for dinner...

and told me to go with you

Sure. We seldom go out together

This is Fanny, my wife

This is my boss, the Demon

Hi, the Demon

Take a seat

Johnnie said you excel at Mahjong

Thanks. I just play it for fun

So humble

My smaller sister, Curvy

It's heard your master is that famous Three Tiles

And Fei's your senior sister. Also famous

You're not an ordinary player at all

I haven't seen him for long, too

Really?

Right. I've met the Korean guest to have dinner

He's known as Macho

The Korean Queen of Mahjong Dealer, comes with him

Dealer?

It's heard that she wins

366 consecutive games...

and won the whole building

The Demon

Macho

Where's Dealer?

Please

The Demon

Nice to meet you

Let me introduce to you

My new follower Johnnie and his husband Fanny

Why don't we play Mahjong now?

What do you think, Dealer?

I must listen to you

I'm so worried about you all

Self-made with Purity in the very beginning

I'm so sorry about that

I just thought you're an expert

You take one more tile with each hand only

I don't know what you're talking about

One more game...

How come? Just a few tiles?

Really?

1 3 tiles per player. Too Few!

Go

It hurts!

I could see nothing. Jun, where are you?

You think you can go this easy?

You fakers

Where're you from?

Sorry...I am '"Korean'"...

This is my surname

What the hell! Dare cheat me in my home?

Break their hands and legs Take out all their money

Then throw them down the hill!

No...help...

I'm blind now. I could see nothing

Give me a chance...

Jun, I am blind now

Please let me use your eyes

Go to hell!

Cheers!

What a joke! A faker

Fanny, you're quite skilful

Thanks so much

What about your sex skills?

Lick it, honey

Dare play tricks with me?

Go say sorry to her!

You'll never get out if you don't!

Let it go. She's our guest anyway

Sit down

You made me lose face!

That gal has been touching your leg...

and nestled her tits on you

You think I'll get raped?

Don't be childish

I'm working for the Demon

Great chance to get rich

He has more than 10 ballrooms and several ships

He's well known in the society

Anyway, I don't like that gal!

I'm not arguing with you. Get back home

Honey

1 0

1 5, 1 0

Drink it

You know how to mix? I've told you

Much more ice and water

much bigger straw and stick

And a little bit of wine

It doesn't make them excited

You fool. What excited?

Who pays the bill if they're all drunk?

And when the soccer match reaches the climax

go mix the wine with water

3 become 4...

No, 1 becomes 4

They won't care when they're gambling

Brother

Sister. Come to visit me suddenly?

Where's your husband?

Leave it alone, I quarreled with him

Give me 2 glasses of Long Island

But you love her so much!

He fxxked me off

You're his wife...

It's reasonable that he fxxked you

He's working for that Demon these days

And his sister's sexy

Has been flirting with husband

I was aggravated so I played tricks on her

But then I was just shouted by him

You're wrong

Guys gotta have social intercourse at work

Work for gambling ships only but not as a gigolo

Not? Many customers come here,,,

just because of me

Coz the waitress here are sexy

It's not you

Not me?

Gals attract randy guys, and I...

I attract randy gals

What?

I gotta mimick sexy actors

What's wrong with this world?

Boss,,,

That blockhead bought 6 dozens of beers

6 dozens? Use them to have a shower?

It's not your business, He did pay for it

He'll buy much when you say he's handsome

Where's he? Right there

Sai, do you know you make my heart throbbed...

every time you're here?

I fear I'd have heart attack

Many gals have been fascinated for years

by me for years

Sure. So have I

Excuse me

Let me introduce to you

I'm practicing drama here

She's one of the members

The drama's called '"Loose in Morals'"...

which is about criticizing this immoral society

This is my wife, Fei

This is Miss Virtuous Nope. She's a nurse

Hi!

Nurse?

You must be responsible for breast-feed!

Darling...it's public area

Don't use so much force, Be tender

Nurse?

Bastard,,,

That cruel?

'"Loose in Morals'"? Nurse?

Nurse? '"Loose in Morals'"?

Senior sister Who?

Remember me? I'm Fanny

Fanny?

Come on, help me

Sure

Help!

Long time no see, Fanny

I seldom come out after I got married

Really? How about you?

Me? I've got married

Where's your husband?

My husband?

Please forgive me

We're beating your husband?

Doesn't matter. I've beaten him for a year and he's fine

Trample on him!

Really? Yes

Do you know our master reaches 80 some days later?

Really? Sure

I do wanna see him

OK. Let's have dinner on Saturday at 8

Does he have new apprentices?

There's one

She's called Love. Cute gal!

I haven't heard of it!

Go to die!

Something to do. I'm going

OK

What're you doing?

The name '"Love'" makes me fall

a half in love at once!

Take me there

Let me drive you

Fanny, you go first

I'll park the car and come

On the top floor. Gotta walk the stairs

No problem. I can even sacrifice for a pretty gal

Why do you beep? I saw the space first

I must have let you come originally

What did you say?

I've waited for 10 minutes here!

But there's a super cute gal upstairs

You're out of luck

Leave here!

It's OK if I give you the space

But I have a disease

Hand moving disease

Luckily I have lots of keys

No! No,,,

And your car is beautiful

No...it's dangerous...

What? You think you're Ronaldino?

What? You think you're Ronaldino?

You think I'm scared?

No

It's my advice only

Wait and see!

Please drink the tea

Good

Good

It's for you

Wish you self-made forever

Thank you, master

Come here

Me also? Of course

I, Chi Mo Sai, hope you'll live a hundred years

Have you had one more apprentice?

Where's it?

Where's Love?

That dude always go out Maybe she's coming

I wanna kill!

Who aggravated you?

An extremely ugly man took my parking space

I feared he'd spoil my car

so I parked far away!

Let it go. You've parked the car

You can gain no matter

how many tiles you change

Let me scold him with you

OK

Calm down, 8th junior sister

Let me introduce

She's Fanny, 7th junior sister

7th senior sister

Master talk about you so often

He said among all apprentices

You've got the highest potential

Really? Thanks so much, master

I'm just playing with a little money...

with other wives

A little money cheers you up

Mahjong is a game, not a weapon

What you do now is right

8th sister hasn't finished learning Mahjong

but she masters another technique

What technique?

To deal with wolves, bandits...

she invents a technique...

called '"Life-taking Nip'"

Guys who tried it was really hurt

I must learn it

It's OK

Go demonstrate it...

Who's willing to demonstrate it with me?

My brother

What's wrong with you?

I parked the car on the street

Suddenly somebody threw off a pack

of yellow stuff

I just thought it was shit and

I touched it, smelt it...

Real shit. I'm stinking

My car's gotta washed again, Damn!

Let me introduce

This is Three Tiles, my master

2nd and 5th senior brother, and...

the one you like most, 8th junior sister, Love

This is your brother?

Sure...

What? You said you wanna meet her

Why look so strange now?

Anyway, many things had just happened...

Tell you later

Did he struggle for the parking space with you?

He's so handsome, Of course not him

He's so handsome, Of course not him

What?

Let's chat outside

Excuse me

Many gals like to chat with me

I didn't know you're with us, Sorry for that

Can you...Ieave it apart?

What do you think?

Let me...invite you over for dinner, movie

karaoke...and hotel

Many gals want you to do these but I refused

Is it so...good enough?

Sure

Honestly, if I yell now

About 10 men will get in and finish you

No deal?

Not really, Let me pinch you

Pinch me only? Come on,,,

But it may hurt you

A pretty gal pinch you. It's too worthy

Come on

Let's eat

Who's crying?

Let's eat now!

Where's my brother?

He wanna look at the view

Dinner time, brother

What's wrong with you?

Her '"Life-taking Nip'"...

It's hard!

Where did you pinch you?

Here,,,

Let me see

No. You must laugh Let me see

No laugh. Promise me

Promise again I promise. Hurry!

You promised me!

Don't let you see

Junior sister's '"Life-taking Nip'" is great...

Let me see,,,No,,,

How do I face everyone from now on?

No,,,

Love, teach 7th senior sister this technique

Maybe it's useful for her

Yes

Why do you say so, master?

She doesn't look good

I worry if something happens on her

Don't mention it with her

Yes, master

The Demon, you call me here...

to look at you smoking?

Hurried? What gal have you dated?

No. I thought you have something to talk with me

We run gambling ships together 1 own 70 percent

And we lost 140 million

That means I lost 100 million

I'm totally out of luck these days

Won by 2 Taiwanese guys

Another 2 mainland debtors were killed

I myself have lost several 10 million dollars

It's not my business

The fact's that you manage the ship and I lost

I wanna earn it back

What do you want to do?

Change the boss

You want me quit?

All of my accountants can't understand your accounts

I wanna look at it, It's reasonable

Who do you want to be the boss?

Let me introduce, My new follower, Johnnie

Greet him

Never heard of him

Nice to meet you

Bastard

If you don't give me the chance

it's meaningless working together

I'm now taking 40 million

Others are kept by this bootlicker

Don't go

What?

Don't need to trouble you

I finished all your buddies with 4 million dollars

The remaining...

I'll give you in your next life

You

Put on his jacket for him

Take him into the car and throw him into the landfill

Well done, man

I didn't know you finished his guys

He treats his followers bad This is his punishment

I'll give his ship to you and Curvy

Let's keep close contact

How to contact?

What contact...do you want?

Honey

What's wrong with your back?

Fight with others

Fight?

The Demon argued with a traitor

He intended to plot against the Demon so I fought him...

and I was scratched like this

Men scratch others?

He's mad

The fingernails were so long

How come you've done such a dangerous thing?

You gotta be fierce to gain

Why don't you find other things to work?

Are you crazy?

I'm doing so well. Why change?

We're gonna live in a big house next month

Why move? We're living so well

That's not your business

Enjoy what you have

I'll talk a shower. You go to bed

What's up?

Honey,,,

We haven't done that for long...

I'm tired. I'm sleeping

Sleep

It's a good news you come here

Bring tortoise jelly here?

High-class stuff. $100 each. Eat it

Don't need to be with your husband?

He doesn't come home for a whole week

Something wrong with him

He's got to work

He gotta work in the Demon's gambling ship

He should go home no matter how hard he works

At least drink some soup and see his wife

Even no calls. Must be something wrong

Really?

Does he have sex with you lately?

Problematic

2 months only. Anything wrong?

Anything wrong?

Shit!

Really problematic?

Are you both happy with sexual life?

What's meant by happy?

I give you when he wants. Isn't it happy?

You're living in the 1 8th century?

Women nowadays should be active

Both of you are happy

How often in general?

Once a month. Everybody's the same

I mean orgasm

Talk other stuff

How conservative

It's OK if he's glad. It doesn't matter

So, have you ever...come?

Yes, the first time...

It seemed,,,yes

No,,,

That means you're not satisfied when you have sex

Satisfied!

When I play Mahjong and self-make

That feeling...makes me satisfied

It's over, senior sister

You do nothing but self-make

You should have creativeness

Give him more stimulation

What do you mean?

Give him more sexual fantasy

I don't understand

Sometimes you pretend to be a nurse...

sometimes a policewoman

This is called '"uniform luring'"

You know what? It's outdated

Outdated?

Just like me

I was called Mary. Men heard it and soon ran away

Then I changed the name into '"Love'"

Fills men with sexual fantasy

The number of guys who wanna get me...

is uncountable

What should I do? Change my name?

What name is good enough?

You're called '"Love'"...

And you?

'"Loss of Love'"

Great. '"Loss of Love'"

And men should have a sense of pride

When you have sex with him you gotta pretend to be...

very excited

Then he'll be happy

Let me write them down

Pretend to be a nurse...change name into '"Loss of Love'"

And, pretend to be...

very excited!

Let's eat

Let's eat,,,

A gang of stupid ass Wanna get me into jail?

Gotta pay to go to court

Congratulations

Demon, don't think I don't give you advantage

After King of Mahjong Competition

here comes the international

God of Mahjong Contest

This is my strong point

I'm already the representative of Taiwan

Let's win together, do we?

How much does each of us take?

I compete directly I decide who'll win the game

So you pay it for sure

How advantageous you are!

What the hell, Demon?

You let this gal interrupt us?

She's quite good at Mahjong

She got the right as representative of Macau

Maybe she'll fight with you

Will she beat me?

We'll see

My sister was taught by a maestro,,,

for 7 years

3 years ago, my master won

all your money in Japan

I sat behind him, Remember that?

Your master's dead long ago

I forced him to die

He'd been playing with me for 1 2 consecutive days...

and lose all to me

He lost all the reputation and soon killed himself

Which means no deal at all?

Don't think of taking advantage from me

Don't regret for it. Go!

The Demon. Let me finish him

No, Maybe I'll cooperate with him later

Leave it alone

Curvy, you also excel in Mahjong?

Don't just think only that bitch can

Take a seat, Johnnie

I know all the stuff between you and my sister

What do you wanna do?

The Demon...

My sister can't be the 2nd wife

Divorce your wife and marry my sister

or leave Curvy and live with that thing, but...

this makes me lose face and I won't let you follow me then

The Demon...

I gotta talk with my mom

No problem

Grandma

Mom! Mom,,,

My son,,,

What have you done with her?

I've talked with her

Curvy's so good

She gave a flat...

and 1 00 gold bars for me

Go kick your wife out

Sure. Go divorce your wife

Get married with Curvy and we'll soon be relatives

I'll let you run the gambling ship

Think of what? It's a good deal

Mr. Wong

You look sick...what should I do?

Strip off the clothes!

Is it too nasty?

No problem. '"Loss of Love'", go...

What? Power cut?

Mr. Johnnie Wong

The doctor said you're in critical condition

You must strip off your clothes...

before you're healed up

This is '"Loss of Love'", your private nurse

Nice to meet you

What're you doing?

You don't like it? I've found it for days

What's up, honey?

Honey?

Let me talk if you don't want to

He no longer loves you. He loves me

Your grandma...

did agree with it

If you agree,,,

This $1 million is fee of divorce

It's that simple

What's wrong with you, honey?

Got a fever?

Why standing still?

What?

Fanny,,,

We now have no love at all

Let's be friends

What?

Friends? No

You can never see her

Or I'll regard it as luring my husband

What?

Tell her

You were just talkative

Why are you look like a dumb?

Talk something

What did you say?

What did you say?

You don't wanna be bad. Let me do it

Stand here for what? Get into the car!

Don't make troubles, Fanny

Shut up

This is the business of this big-tits and me

Your husband does like my breast

Look at you, Paine and airport

This is Marital Settlement Agreement

Sign it

No daydreaming

It's heard you're an apprentice of Three Tiles

You excel in playing Mahjong

Mind your own business

Don't say I bully. Let's have a 2-person Mahjong

If I lose, I'll never see your husband

If you lose, sign this

What if you go back on your word?

Then may god give me breast cancer

OK, let's start

2-player Mahjong was popular in Singapore and Malaysia

During the 60s' and 70s' in Hong Kong...

many people play this, too

Only 2 players means it's not easy to cheat

And there is neither Dots, Bamboos or Flowers

Every game can win or lose a lot, Exciting

7 Characters

Chow

South

Pong

5 Characters

Chow

I should have Purity

But she gave up 5 and 7 Characters

Will I get lost with East?

Discarding 9 Characters is safer

9 Characters

I thought you'd throw East

How do you know I have East?

My master was a maestro in Japan

I can remember where all 1 44 tiles are placed

60 tiles...is nothing

This East...I'll wait for you

4 Happiness, waited for 9 Characters!

9 Characters...anything to say?

Accept the result. You said that

Sign it

Here's $1 million

I don't want it

I'm going

Johnnie

Candy, Mandy Yes

Fanny feels bad now

Go look after her

Yes

Get out!

Boss told us to look after you!

Sai, I think you look so much like Andy Lau

Which part?

Look

Cover your nose and mouth...

and left eye as well

Look, The wrinkles're so much like him

Really

A bit

6 more dozens

OK

How can you tolerate your wife's fist?

I've already got used to it

She keeps beating, I keep playing...

until I die

Men,,,

usually go home after they've played outside...

unless he's ruthless

I have just met a ruthless...

What's wrong, sister?

I lost my husband,,,in a Mahjong game

Bet on husband?

Introduce to my wife

Shut up!

I wanna use it for a while!

Sister, no...

I wanna die...please let me die...

Where's the knife?

Where's the knife?

Give me back the knife!

What?

Let me die,,,

Or I'm gonna crash myself into the wall!

Stand it...

Can you stand it?

Gotta stand it even if we can't

Sister! Where're you going?

What's wrong?

I can't stand it,,,

Take it easy...

Cool it...

Why do you wanna kill yourself?

I love Johnnie very much

Is it worthy dying for such a guy?

He should be chopped into pieces to feed the dogs

He's worth nothing

The sis of the Demon...

wants to kill you

You know it so early?

Senior sister. We're on your side

You have our support

They should die, not you!

Sure...

What should I do?

What should I do then?

Mahjong can cure any diseases

My would-be husband was killed and I wanted to be with him

Luckily my pals played Mahjong with me for a whole week

And I was the dealer for 120 times

The world's so beautiful...

Why go to die?

There must be good guys in the world

How about,,,

being my 2nd wife?

You'll soon rest in peace

No, I am always alerted

So tired

Come here, junior sister...

Let me find some pals here...

to play Mahjong with you

You can relax. Will you?

What type of Mahjong?

You decide it...

Can I win with any kind of Mahjong?

Sure...whatever you want

You decide it

You lose if I lose

OK

Let's look for mates, Go

I've been playing for 10 days since that day

What? Tiles bullying player?

5 Dots

Win!

You've just discarded it

I use it again. You've got no luck

I've 4 times by the same tile in 12 rounds

9 Bamboos

What? This is 7 Bamboos!

I want it. Pong

8 Bamboos

Win! Pure Bamboos!

Are you OK? You're collecting Bamboos...

and give the tile to the lower to win?

You lost so much. Don't go on

After this game

I have been fooled by the tiles for 10 days

Self-made with 8 Characters!

And I've found that I lost the ability to self-make

I've never had a self-made during these 1 0 days

Go take it back

No, I admit I've lost

How much?

The account you've held...

plus today's one...

21 8000

I've just got this. Give you later

No problem

Then...I'm going

Come on, Fanny

Keep $100 to get a taxi

I, Fanny...

had won for years...

But today,,,

today I gotta borrow money to get a taxi

God! Are you fooling me?

Sure. I'm gonna die now

I'm gonna die...

Is that,,,7th senior sister?

You want me die...

My husband has gone, The tiles fool me

Life will always be blue,,,

if I can never self-make!

Is that...big tits meaning everything?

Fanny,,,

Next life,,,

you gotta have big tits

Someone playing Mahjong here?

Is it an illusion?

Master!

You wanna jump off?

Yes, I'm gonna jump off

Are you hurried?

If not, play for a few rounds...

before you jump off

No

No self-made. Every games get lost by other 3 players

Everybody has both good and bad luck

Good luck comes back soon

I'm totally out of luck now

The worst is only like this

Do you think I'm not poor enough?

You've just lost 200 folds

You can hold them

Do you understand, Fanny?

Master reminds you that,,,

You can take all things back when you believe

Turn defeat into victory

Turn defeat into victory?

I don't want my husband, Give her

No, It's not worthy to get your husband back

But you'd better win him back,,,

and abandon him Don't let that bitch take advantage

You're right

But I can't beat them

You were married when you haven't learnt all

This is why you lost

I can teach you more if you're willing to

I wanna self-make!

Fanny, you were married when you were young

You've only learnt book one

Master, is there book two?

This movie is version 2

There must be something new

What technique then?

'"36 Lessons for Mahjong'"

Lesson 1 :Links between human and Mahjong

People and Mahjong and communicate with each other

You can take it as your pet

Treat it well and it'll treat you well, too

Vice versa

What? Mahjong can bully people?

Of course

If it feels that you're out of luck

it'll fool you

Maybe it'll give you hope at the beginning

Cool. I can have big win

1 Bamboo

Win

You got good combination?

No...just normal one

9 Characters

9 Characters

9 Characters again

The tiles keep fooling me

Kick you out

9 Characters...

8 Characters...

Sometimes when you play Mahjong...

You never get what you want until you abandon it

What should I do then?

You must be determined to win to make yourself lucky

Let the tiles feel your power...

making them help you

Make myself lucky?

You should win with every possible tiles

no matter how much you gain in each game

Wins will collect luck

Then you'll be luckier and luckier

If you've decided it

you must resist making big win

Great combo! Should I make it big?

Or it's an illusion?

No, I can't do this

Take away 9 Characters wait for 5 and 8 Dots

9 Characters

8 Dots

Win!

Good. See

You have lost if you can't wait

4 Dots

Win!

6 Characters

Win!

Win!

Self-made finally!

8 Pairs. Win!

We're playing Guangdong Mahjong Fault Win

Lesson 2:Train your eyes

Can you see what tile it is?

It's so small, How to see?

I have many things that can reflect light

You will see it if you concentrate

So you gotta train your eyes

Men have glasses, lighters...

watches, rings which can reflect light

Women even have earrings...

metal buttons and other personal ornaments

Any place with reflection...

can help you look at the enemy's tiles

Dot Which Dot?

Red and green...

7 Dots!

Cool!

And you gotta watch carefully...

the secret-marked tiles...

These 4 tiles are all secret-marked

What is '"secret-marked'"?

Marks at the long side stands for Red Green and White Dragons

The short side implies tiles of 4 directions

Marks in the middle means 1s and 9s of all groups

What if there's no marking at all?

That stands for 4s to 7s for sure

She all won without Dots, Characters and Bamboos

She must have secret-marked during mixing tiles

Sure...

No wonder her fingernails were filled with strange paint

Then how to deal with it?

You gotta stop her when she wanna secret-mark

It's all over if you miss the chance

And how can I move away her tiles?

Practice your hand's power like one-inch punch in Wing Chun

Lesson 3:Train your hands

Concentrate the power into one point...

and hit it with the edge of the tile

That's the ultimate power

Apart from your eyes and hands...

The key is your will

Will?

Your have more than one enemy

There're still Tony Jaa-Jaa from Thailand

Mr, Bird from the US

Ichi Kyoko from Japan

Spaghetti from Italy

and Singh from India

And also Tin Gau Goh, our ultimate enemy

You gotta defeat them all before dealing with Curvy

4 Happiness

Wait for 9 Characters to win

So you must keep yourself

in good condition

We can't let Fanny fight alone

I think we should have 2 more guys

to help her

Let me help her OK

You 2 also

Of course

I'll make love with you if you enters the finals

If not, then I'll pinch you 20 times

Heaven and hell?

You decide it

I'll go for it

Ladies and gentlemen God of Mahjong Contest...

Hong Kong region is going to begin!

The first round is Guangdong Mahjong

How are you?

It's heard that you're out of luck these days

Not your business, Get away

Don't force yourself

Leave some money for the rest of your life

You think you're cool? You forget to zip your trousers up

We now have our honorable chairman the Demon

with his 6 followers...

as our guests

We're glad to invite...

winners of 6 regions

They're Miss Curvy from Macau

Miss Ichi Kyoko from Japan

Nice to meet you

Mr. Spaghetti from Italy

Nice to meet you!

And Singh from India

With curry and chicken no danger will happen

And Tony Jaa-Jaa of course

And finally, Mr. Bird from America!

The Contest now starts!

You promised. If I could enter the finals, then you'll...

make love with me...

Yes!

How come I have 4 tiles only?

What? We've got all

So...what does it mean?

Too Few

You know what is it?

Damn

So what? Play anyway!

Come on...

Pong!

We can win with a poor serial

Losers are with a poor personality

East

Still bullied by the tiles

When can you stop it?

East

East again

It's fine. I can win next game

Nothing. Don't be serious

Why do you laugh? I got self-made

What did you win with?

7 Characters

Fault win

What?

You're waiting for 2, 5 and 8 Characters

I can gain this way?

Luck's coming

Come on, friends. We're together again

You fool

White Dragon

Pong!

1 Dot

East

Pong!

West. Dare Pong again?

No Pong, but win

10, 1 1...

Shit! Too Few again?

You've played 4 rounds and Too Few every time?

Are you fooling us?

I like to let you win for a while

Too Few's much better than let you win over me

You're not qualified to self-make

Still 2 tiles fewer?

It's too good if I have 2 more tiles

It's good to have 2 more tiles of 9 Characters

Oh, I think I was not Too Few

Enough?

Sure

I'm drawing a tile

Oh no, self-made!

8 Characters!

Win! Yes!

10 folds

Now 8 contestants have entered the 2nd round

Lots are drawn and 2 winners'll come out for each desk

The ones who get tiles of 4 directions play on desk 1

Others play on desk 2

Taiwan Mahjong will be played in the last game

Hope we can play on the same desk

Aren't you feeling ashamed? Who are you?

What did you talk with that bitch?

We were couples...

I want you to finish her, Understand?

Self-made!

Win, 1 1 folds

I just told you not to play

Excuse me...I'm going to washroom

You know each other?

He was my husband before

Will you gang up?

Never

Do you know? Years ago,,,

I left mom and dad alone,,,

and got married with him

But,,,

He went off with the Demon's sister and divorced me...

and beat me...

and...want me to be a hooker!

Son of a bitch!

Sure Sure

Less than human,,,

Crying? Because you're losing?

1 Dot

1 Dot

3 Characters

3 Characters

8 Bamboos

8 Bamboos

How come you keep stopping me win?

You bastard. Who else should I beat?

Don't stop!

7 Dots...wrong tile...

Can't get it back!

How about 6 Dots?

I don't like Dots

Again...

5 Characters

Can't get that tile back

What? She discards 5 Characters now

I'm taking it. Thank you

2 Bamboos

Judge!

They're group together and play against me

No

No

You can't see that?

I can just see a guy who divorced with his wife...

for money and woman,,,

and who goes on winning his former wife without mercy

Go on! Don't stop!

9 Characters

Excuse me. I'm gonna win

Purity and Plain

Self-made. 5 folds

It's the last round. I've been winning

You're hopeless

You just won over them...

but not me

I have much more money than you

I have no luck today

Let's bet more

If you enter the finals, I'll have sex with you for 3 times

Otherwise you gotta let me pinch you 30 times

OK

2 Dots

The Earth!

Purity and All Bangos and so on,,,

More than 180 folds

I've got much more money than you now

I'm waiting for you tonight

Am I a pervert?

Congratulations...Thanks...

We've made it

Very good...

Thanks so much...

These are all my assets

That gal's so pretty. It's worth that much

Sure, sure

You have one chip left?

Pathetic. Let me give you

It's you again?

You fled last time

We're gonna chop off your hands!

I'm so scared,,,brother-in-law!

Here!

And me

And me!

'"Life-Killing Nip'"!

'"Breast-Killing Claws'"!

'"Tits-Shattering Fist'"!

It's scary...

Brutal...bloody...violent...

Did you gang up with her?

Not for sure!

The other 2 players treated me as enemy

How could I win in that situation?

I don't believe it! Curvy

Let it go. I saw the whole process and he didn't gang up

Both of them now represents Hong Kong

How can we beat them?

Perhaps. I've met a man here

Who?

Find me again? Now the price is different

Tin Gau, take a seat

You got lost last time. Is it possible that you'll win now?

I drew a good lot

No experts in my group

I must get in the finals

That means...

In the finals...

You have a partner who plays 22 tiles at a time

Fanny'll meet the Triplets

Tony Jaa-Jaa and Ichi Kyoko

All pros. That's her hard times

And her brother is useless

So if we're in the finals and group together...

it's impossible that we'll lose

Tin Gau wants money but not fame

I'll make him popular but you'll be God of Mahjong

We'll probably make a big profit

I must say that I get 60 percent of the income

Is that too much?

You'll have so much income after you've got the fame

If you get lost, you get nothing at all

Sure. Let's get the money together

I'll make that bitch,,,

disappear forever!

Ladies and gentlemen God Of Mahjong Contest...

Is going to start!

Remember, today's games are all Taiwan Mahjong

Red card,,,

and yellow card system remains

Those speaking swear words, going mad

using violence, looking for sex partners...

will be given a red card and kicked out of the room

The man in pink shirt

Me?

You were expelled last time, were you?

I will give you a red card

Sir

I'll not speak swear words again

Go on

Sorry, beauty

Which type do you want, Dot, Character or Bamboo?

Character

1 Dot

Chow

You said you want Character

Mind your own business

You'll soon get caught!

Fine

I'll give you one more tile of Character

Good

Are you...born together?

Yes!

Which is older and which younger?

The same

South

Win! 3 parties win together!

It's South! Impossible!

Shit. They know each other so much...

They know what tiles each other has...

just like one guy having 48 tiles

I'm in danger

I could win only if they have quarrels

Do you know?

What?

What's up? Sorry, guys

I think among 3 of you...

You're the most handsome

No! We're all handsome as each other!

You're the strongest

We're all strong as each other!

You're the cutest

We're all cute as each other

Now who is the most handsome?

Who's the cutest? Who's the strongest?

Faker!

Does she really think I'm handsome?

I'm the strongest for sure

She has only 2 legs.

Can't touch us all at the same time

Does she think I'm cutest?

4 Dots

Win!

8 Pairs

Got lured!

You look you can't live long

I'm 28 now

You're destined to be a poor man

Paralyzed in childhood and get fatal illness before 40

West

Win over you!

You win after you scolded me?

Just because you have the misfortune

Give up and save the money to go home

I'm afraid I'll be sick when playing more with you...

then lose interest in men

Can you be polite?

Don't aggravate me

Look, you are to be shitted when you were born

Or go to hell right away!

Dare curse me?

Help!

Curse me? Wanna die?

I'm fine

You deserve it. Kicked out of the room again

It's not my fault,,,

I behaved well,,,

Purity, Win

Big win at the beginning, Spaghetti?

Sure, my name is...

Spaghetti

You shouldn't call yourself Spaghetti

How about Spaghetti Sausage

Why?

You guess it

I like it! I like it!

I'm accumulating my power

Have you washed your feet?

There're plenty of snakes in India

The hands are used to play instruments

That Indian's secret-marking the tiles

With his feet?

People usually secret-mark with wine and reflection

But he does it with the smell of his feet

Each tile has its unique smell

How disgusting!

1 Dot

He'll win with 1 Dot

He can't win if I hold it

9 Dots

These guys seems strange

They must have secret-marked the tiles

This has the smell of curry

This, smell of pizza

And this, smell of cheese

I gotta stop him

What are you doing?

What're you doing, my friend?

It's hot and stinky, One spray...

Makes it nice smell

I'm afraid we'll all die

1 Dot

Do you know what tile I'm waiting for now?

No

1 Dot then

Win!

You discarded 1 Dot before...

Can't I? I know you were still holding it

Go home to make curry, Singh

It's over

Sorry

2 Dots!

They both are real experts

Ichi Kyoko looks decent

But inside her hair and clothes...

she'd hidden 20 to 30 tiles

This Tony Jaa-Jaa has powerful hands

What special moves has he got?

All new tiles are useless.

What should I do?

They both have one tile to win

Gotta play tricks

What have you discarded?

What? Why don't you look at it yourself?

How come you've got so many tiles?

Too Many for a long time!

What have you discarded?

Look at it yourself

What? You've got as many as some 30 tiles

Playing tricks?

I like it

I wanna have more slaves!

That's impossible!

What?

Judge. Somebody's gonna rage!

Who?

How are you?

You Thai guy. Don't be so glad

Don't force me to cast a spell on you

What you want are all in my hands, bastard

Self-made!

No...

Excuse me, How do you win?

Here comes the list of finals

They are: Fanny, apprentice of Mahjong master;

Curvy, Queen of Mahjong in Macau;

and Tin Gau Goh, 1 st runner-up of King of Mahjong

And the last one is...

Ronaldino, the one who nearly lost

They'll compete 8 rounds tomorrow

to fight for the God of Mahjong

What is it?

Gambling table with sensor

Come on. Put it on

Magnify it

Great!

The wheel on the watch controls the size of the screen

You can control it yourself. So user-friendly

The pictures transfer from the table through your bag...

and into your spectacles

But the gambling table's fixed in the spec

How you put the table in?

Easy job

The inspector who checks the table and chairs...

was caught by me this afternoon

And I'll give him $1 million

Where do you think will the table be in?

Ladies and gentlemen. We'll have...

God of Mahjong after 8 rounds of keen competition

Let's welcome...

The 4 competitors!

Please be seated!

I'm the authentic one

I should get the East!

Sure, but only that you look like shit

Good combo

Self-Kong

7 Characters

9 Characters

Win. 4 folds

Do you want this tile?

He knows I'm waiting for 8 Characters?

13

Got it

Tin Gau and Curvy are holding the winning tiles

Hold the tiles? Try my 1-inch punch

How powerful!

How come it's invisible?

No. The tiles are attracting me

Gotta make myself lucky!

9 Characters

2 Dots

Win!

Win. 4 folds

I'm sorry, I won with what you want

Miss '"2 Dots'"

Repair the spectacles just after the 4th round

We now have a break!

Something wrong with her spectacles

She can't guess what you wait when they're broken

But they've brought them out

Take a look out there

Sure

This is the North Round of the final 4 rounds

Miss Curvy has been ahead of others

The 2nd is Miss Fanny

But now...

I've found the secret inside

Rumor spread that...

Fanny can't self-make...it seems to be true

When she entered the contest...

She never self-made

Sir

What?

Please give it to Miss Curvy

Even the spectacles were broken

Now is the last game and you're not the dealer

And I have 200 chips more than you

How do you win?

Not finished yet

Let's play more How?

If I lose, I give you back your husband

and kneel down to apologize

But if you lose,,,

Your thumbs will get chopped off

You'll never be able to guess the tiles

You've got a lot more advantage

Coz I'm beautiful

If big tits stand for beauty...

Then the dairy cattle are much prettier

Sure!

I agree

No!

I lost my husband to her,,,

and I must get him back

Good. Let me see what tiles you have

God. She got nothing that can reflect light?

Poor tiles

West

West again

9 Characters

Stop me in this very last game?

So they're partners

One watches my tiles and another stops me

How to win?

Let me make the 13 Unios

What's she doing?

Is she making the 1 3 Unios?

7 Characters

It's become fierce now

Fanny's playing strange tricks suddenly

East

East

Another 2 party're trying to stop their lowers

What happened?

4 Characters

4 Characters

Red Dragon

Red Dragon

5 Dots

5 Dots

White Dragon

White Dragon

3 Bamboos

3 Bamboos

Green Dragon

Green Dragon!

Mr. Ronaldino, this is not Green Dragon

This is Flower

Sure. What to do?

You're Too Few again

Too Few again?

8 Characters

Chow Pong

Are you mad?

Pong only. Don't panic

7 Characters

1 Dot

Brothers and sisters, you're all back!

Curvy. I will get all my things back

Wait and see

You '"airport'". Can't see your tiles

6 Bamboos

6 Bamboos

God's blessing me

I'll never fear of being tricked if I'm lucky enough

It's North

One discarded outside, one is in my hand

2 of them will win if I discard it

North

You must have waiting for it

If I discard it, 2 sides will win at the same time

Fanny'll also lose, Can't take it out

9 Characters

Self-made!

Win with North! The 1 3 Unios!

The 1 3 Unios!

Impossible!

One North outside, one held by Tin Gau

You and I are holding one North each

How can you self-make with North?

I cheated you

She has 1 Dot and waits for North!

I just showed you my own North tile. Idiot

You must accept the result

Clever

It's me

Kneel down!

Listen to me, bastard

Good girl. I'm now the champion

You gotta change your name into "Faker"!

Reginal Crime Unit What's up?

Please come with us to assist investigation

Fanny! Watch out!

Tin Gau Goh

Thank you, Tin Gau

What do you feel of being a good guy?

I bet a large amount on Fanny. It's cool

I'm a good man who gains a lot. I like it!

How come you're so friendly with him?

We've come to compromise long ago

Let's drink

OK. Let's drink

Please forgive me

I know I'm wrong

Get up now

Don't let him get up

Let him get up after he's limp

I'll start over

I must start over

Really?

Promise me

Fine

The Champion of God of Mahjong is...

Queen of self-made, Fanny!

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