Original subtitles

♫ Worlds away from anyone

♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun

♫ Worlds away from anyone

♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun

♫ There was just enough to keep them far away

♫ Ooh ooh ooh ooh

♫ Ooh ooh ooh

♫ Ooh ooh ooh

(mysterious music)

[Lockie] Yep, you're right, it's a tent

and this is Phillip, my younger brother

and his friend, Joe.

And if you look really, really closely

you might just notice they're both totally petrified.

- Can you pass the monster repellent please, Joe.

- [Lockie] That's right, fright fans.

Phillip and Joe are staking out the monster

from the swamp again.

- Snowy, what are you doing here?

- I'm meeting Constable Wattle to play battleships.

(gasping)

- If you're here, then who's...

(screaming)

- It's me, it's Sarge.

- [All] It's Sarge.

- [Lockie] Okay, so we know Phillip,

the whole swamp monster thing

has just been one big, fat, false alarm.

- So you see boys, there was nothing

to worry about after all.

- Yeah, I see that now, what a relief.

- Yes, that's right, what a relief, eh.

- Well, I think it's probably time you went off to bed,

maybe with a good book?

- I'll say.

- [Lockie] Even so, Phillip still had

this one niggling doubt.

There was still one piece of the puzzle that didn't fit.

- The cheese sandwich.

- How could we have been so blind?

- So, if this cheese sandwich disappears,

just like all the others, then--

- It means whatever hideous alien creature that we disturbed

from its rest is still out there.

- [Lockie] And when they returned

the first thing next morning...

- It's back.

- Phillip, look over here.

- Goodness, another ghastly footprint.

- You know what this means?

If Angelus is going to survive this nightmare,

then we're gonna have to put aside all aspects

of personal safety and enter the swamp again.

What are you doing tomorrow?

- Of course, some people have encountered monsters before

and lived to tell the tale.

- Then again, you wouldn't expect to hear

from the people who hadn't.

(eerie music)

Phillip, look.

(Phillip screams)

Oh, sorry, it's just a rabbit.

- Meanwhile, something was in the air at Angelus High

because tomorrow was the start of the midyear break.

But for once, I wasn't looking forward to the holidays.

If I wasn't at school, I wouldn't have any excuse

to avoid running into Vicki and Josh.

My ex-girlfriend, that is, and her mega rich new boyfriend,

Josh who's staying with the Streetons over the break.

So rather than thinking of good things to do

for the holidays, I was thinking about places to hide.

And then we can go for a 12 day trek

into the wilderness region to test our survival skills.

- Yeah, right.

- Or instead we could do something fun.

- Dude, did someone say fun?

What better way to celebrate the midyear break

than fun pattern 1960s disco beach party

at the bowling alley tomorrow night.

- Yeah, maybe.

- That wasn't an invite, it was an order.

It will also give us a chance to celebrate my promotion

to acting supervising assistant manager,

but enough of my achievements.

Tomorrow we'll be bowling in teams of two.

Lockie, you're with Mel, Egg--

- I'm with you.

- Obviously, and of course, Vicki and Josh

will be coming as well.

Anything wrong with that?

Anybody, anybody, anybody?

- [Lockie] Joining the workforce had obviously

unleashed the monster in Sasha,

but Sasha wasn't the only monster on the loose

in Angelus that day.

- [Joy] I rushed her to the health centre they said

it was nothing more than an unsightly allergic reaction.

- I've never seen anything like it.

- Better keep your distance, it might be contagious.

You wouldn't want to spend your entire holidays shut up

in a darkened room with no visitors now, would you?

- [Lockie] All of a sudden, getting up close and infectious

with Blob sounded like the answer to my prayers.

- Lockie? - Oh.

- What did I just say?

- [Lockie] But I needn't have worried

because first thing next morning...

Morning.

- Lockie, I thought I told you to keep right away from Blob.

- I did, I've been avoiding her since she threw up

that cucumber goo over me.

(Blob grunting)

- (laughs) Shots, Blob.

- Oh, no, oh, what have I done.

Lockie, you weren't the only one Blob threw up over

the other day.

(brakes squealing)

Hi there.

- Oh, what, nothing to see here.

We haven't done anything wrong, have we Barry?

- That wouldn't be young Josh under that, would it,

by any chance?

- [Josh] Morning.

- Josh didn't wake this morning with a slight case

of the bright green pustules, did he?

(crowd gasps)

- Oh, Joy, no one must ever find out.

The shame, the humiliation.

- The possibilities for cross infection are--

- You know how mega rich Josh is.

What are his parents going to say when they discover

that we've exposed him to some horrendous

and disfiguring disease?

- And you can't be too careful these days.

Joy, I've been feeling a bit iffy myself lately,

so we've decided to isolate Josh in a motel room,

just to be sure he doesn't take out the rest of us.

No offence, Josh.

- [Josh] None taken.

- Listen, rather than hiding Josh away in a motel room,

why doesn't he come back to our place.

Lockie has been feeling a little under the weather too.

That way I can keep an eye on all three,

on both of them at the same time.

- You'd do that, Joy, for us, but why?

- Oh, well, whatever silly, little lurgy it is

that's brought Josh out in bright green pustules,

it's not helped by people pointing the finger,

looking for someone to blame, is it?

No, I think the less everybody knows about this, the better.

- Mm-hmm. - Absolutely.

(Josh vomits)

- Exactly, I'll just get a bag here.

- Come on, come on, Josh, that's okay.

- Oh, I hope he'll be alright.

- So do I.

I wouldn't be stepping foot into a bomb like that,

rust bucket.

- [Vicki] Why is dad so grumpy?

- I put him on a diet, no dairy.

- Anyway, I don't think this is a good idea either.

- Of course, it is, who would think of looking for Josh

at the Leonard's?

- [Lockie] Vickie wasn't so fussed about Josh's hideout,

she was stressing about whether Josh and I

were gonna be talking about her behind her back.

(screaming)

And it all started out so well,

but they couldn't know what they were getting into,

and now it was way too late.

- Man, why didn't you tell me what Vicki was really like?

- You'd never believe me.

(screaming)

- Okay guys, the truth, tell me what do you hate more,

mystery or my shoes?

Tell me the truth, I'm not gonna...

- [Lockie] Vicki Streeton stars in

Attack of the high maintenance girlfriend.

- You're not scared, are you?

- Me, no, no, of course not.

It's just that I usually do my best work in the lab

rather than out here in the field

with the monster from the swamp.

- Don't worry, as long as we arm ourselves

with my monster repellent, there's a fair chance

we'll get out of this alive.

- What exactly is in your monster repellent?

- The two things I hate most in the world, mustard

and custard.

One thing's certain, this one monster only walks by night.

If we're gonna capture it alive and take it into captivity,

then we're gonna have to camp here overnight.

Have you got a tent?

- Good idea, but sadly I'm pretty certain my parents

would never allow it.

- Phillip, change of plans.

We're gonna need your bed tonight.

Perhaps you and Joe could camp out by the swamp.

You can share the tent.

Well, there you go, Josh.

Hop into bed, both of you, chop chop.

I prescribe an entire day of bed rest.

- [Lockie] So much for avoiding Josh.

Okay, this was weird.

The last thing I'd wanted was to spend any time

at all with Josh.

But at the same time, another part of me wanted to know

everything there was to know about him,

as in what's the big attraction with this guy for Vicki?

What does Josh have that Lockie Leonard doesn't?

- Can I help you with anything there?

(Blob babbles)

- No, I was just thinking.

It's weird I don't get sick very often.

- Me neither, the last time was in the south of France

when I spent too long in the sauna and dehydrated.

Thankfully Janette got me back on my feet.

- You call your mum Janette?

- No, Sarah.

Janette's my nanny.

Mum was in New York closing the Colorado deal.

You been to France?

- No.

- New York?

- No, or Colorado either.

You didn't have to be a genius to see what Josh

had over me, money, travel, nannies.

We were worlds apart.

It must have been a no brainer for Vicki.

(upbeat pop music)

- Vicki, what are we gonna do?

Lockie was supposed to be Mel's bowling partner tonight,

but there's a rumour going around that he woke up

this morning and he's turned green.

- Yeah, Josh isn't very well either.

There's probably no point in me coming tonight.

- I've been thinking the same thing.

- But that's fantastic, what a relief.

- What?

- Didn't you want us to come?

- You two can be my new team.

That way, I'll only be one down.

- Hi, guys, it's gonna be great tonight, eh?

If I last that long.

- Come on, Egg, no time to sit around chatting.

Work to do, decorate.

- (sighs) Are you sure you're okay

us being on the same team?

- Yeah, sure, if you are, why not?

- [Lockie] Actually, Mel had a pretty good reason why not.

After a recent incident with a giant cucumber,

she was certain Vicki decided exactly what she was.

(screaming)

Melanie Lyons stars in Demon Cucumber Slayer

from Planet Jealous.

- Did you want to come back to my place?

We could check out some clothes for tonight.

- Sure.

- [Lockie] Finally, Josh and I found something

we had in common to talk about.

- You know the best thing about Vicki?

She's always so easygoing and happy and uncomplicated.

I mean Vicki is just so easy to hang out with.

- [Lockie] Can we have that again?

(rewind screeching)

- I mean Vicki is just so easy to hang out with.

- [Lockie] Are we talking about the same girl?

I've never known Vicki not to be complicated and confusing,

not from the first day we met.

Oh, Josh, you know Vicki only too well.

(laughing)

Okay, so what are we getting here?

Oh, yeah.

That any time that Vicki's with Josh she's full on

deliriously cheerful.

So what does that mean?

Maybe it was me who was being the complicated

and confusing one all along.

- Hi, Lockie, Josh and I were just going for a walk.

You might want to come, it might be fun.

That's okay, isn't it, having fun?

- Fun, how can I have fun,

when nobody understands my pain?

(screaming)

Lockie Leonard stars in Emo Attacks.

- [Mel] 1960s beach party.

- No, girlie.

- No.

- What do you think?

- No.

- Wow, is there something wrong with all of them?

- They're dresses.

- Oh, I see, silly me.

- If it's a beach party, shouldn't we both just turn up

in our wetsuits?

- Well, I don't have one, I don't surf.

- You don't surf?

Wow, that's so weird.

How did you two used to spend your time?

- I don't know.

We used to talk about everything.

Sometimes we'd just talk all day nonstop.

- Really, wow.

- Do you feel like a milkshake?

- I'm sorry we couldn't rustle up any five star facilities.

This place must be a bit less ritzy than you're used to.

- Hey, don't knock it, today's been fun.

- Sure it has.

Are you being serious?

- Listen, I'm loving everything about Angelus,

and if we're talking five stars,

how can you go past Mr. and Mrs. Streeton?

They're seriously the best.

- Mr. and Mrs. Streeton?

- Warm, nurturing, they're funny,

and they're always there for you.

- Mr. and Mrs. Streeton?

Okay, here's the thing, if Josh thinks the Streetons

are warm and fuzzy, what must his family be like?

- Okay, so we have a business empire and we're mega rich,

but it's full on.

I only see mum once in a blue moon and dad just about never.

How do you think I ended up here for the holidays?

Mum and dad couldn't schedule me in.

- [Lockie] So finally I understood why Josh and Vicki

got on so well.

It's because they were able to share something

that I've never had, dodgy parents.

- Mind you, at least while I'm sick, dad's minders

won't be calling me every five minutes.

What are you staring at?

- Your green pustules.

- You too, they've gone.

(Blob babbles)

- Blob as well, we're cured.

Mum. - Mrs. Leonard.

- Tell me if it's none of my business,

but what's boarding school got

that you haven't already got here?

Two parents, a milkshake maker,

a bedroom the size of a footy field,

why would you ever want to leave?

- My perfect life, I guess that depends on whether

you're standing on the outside looking in

or on the inside looking out.

- Seems pretty perfect compared to mine.

At least you have a home that stays in one place.

- Maybe, but at least you get to choose what you want

to do with your own life.

- [Sally] Come on guys, hurry up.

- [Vicki] We're in the kitchen.

- Oh, who's your little friend, Vicki, someone we know?

- Hi, I'm Mel.

- She hasn't been anywhere near Josh, has she kitten?

You can't be too careful with these bright green

pustuly things, can we?

- Barry.

I'm sure Mel's delightful, but we wouldn't want Josh

meeting anyone he might find more appealing now, would we?

Barry, I don't think so.

No dairy, remember?

- Oh, crikey, Sal, a man could starve around here.

- Oh, Barry, nobody's going to buy a car

from someone with flabby jowls.

- No, you're both to remain under observation until morning.

That's my final word on the subject.

I mean if it were up to me, I'd probably say well,

you know, fair enough up you get.

It's not like I enjoy being mean or horrible.

(door creaks open)

I'm not a monster, I'm just being responsible.

Do I make myself clear?

- Yes, Mum.

- I'm so sorry.

- Remember, we should only use the monster repellent

as a last resort, if our lives are at risk.

- Maybe not even then.

- Exactly, but we're trying to attract the swamp monster,

not frighten it away.

- Boys, here's the cheese sandwiches

you asked me for.

Now are you sure this is gonna be enough

for the both of you?

- When you hear the voice croaking the deepest night,

think of me, mummy, for that will be me calling.

- Hmm, feels normal enough.

- Egg, what are you doing here?

- What does it look like?

I'm busting you guys out of this joint.

You can't leave me in there with Sasha a moment longer.

I've never worked so hard in my life.

- But Lockie's mum says we have to stay here 'til morning.

- I can't last 'til the morning.

Guys, I'm begging you, put those on.

(dramatic music)

- [Sarge] Stop right there.

- You're not going anywhere,

not without your mobile phone, Josh.

- It's okay, he won't be needing it.

- That's right, tell them I'm taking a night off.

- [Lockie] So I discovered Josh wasn't as much

of a monster as I thought.

Mind you, that's not to say

that monsters don't exist somewhere.

- But once it's dark, it actually gets

quite a bit more scary, didn't you find?

- A little bit, a little bit.

- We have to deploy the cheese sandwich.

- Cheese sandwich deployed.

- Then what we have to do is wait.

- Goodo, alright.

(monster grumbling) (eerie music)

Joe, look.

- I'm looking.

- Oh, look.

He's downed the cheese sandwich.

- The monster repellent quickly.

(screaming and yelling)

(howling)

Mr. Streeton?

- Gee, that mustard smarts.

That went right into my eye.

- What are you doing here

and why are you wearing all that stuff?

- I could ask the same thing.

I'd also like to know what's in that sack.

(frogs croaking)

- What was in my sack, just a couple of frogs.

I'm thinking of putting in a eco-friendly ornamental pond.

- But surely one man couldn't inflict that much damage

on a cheese sandwich.

- Couldn't he just?

Have tried going on one of Mrs. Streeton's dairy-free diets?

I've never been so hungry.

I could eat me own leg.

- Sarge, is this all that amounts to,

an ornamental pond and a diet?

- So if it's all the same to you, Sarge,

I think I'll be heading off home.

- All right, on your way, but I don't think

we've heard the whole story as yet.

- So there wasn't a monster from the swamp after all?

- I couldn't be more disappointed.

- [Lockie] So here it is my friends,

Lockie Leonard's pendant theory about monsters.

You might think you have a good reason to worry about

or be scared of other people and what they might think,

but most of the time the only monsters you need

to stress about are the stupid, pointless ones

you make up yourself inside your head.

And trust me, there's only one thing

you'd ever want to do with those.

(cheering and applause)

("Worlds Away")

♫ Ooh ooh ooh ooh

♫ Ooh ooh ooh

♫ Ooh ooh ooh

♫ Boy is breaking

♫ Underneath the weight of strain

♫ Oh oh oh oh

♫ Worlds away from anyone

♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun

♫ Worlds away from anyone

♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun

♫ There was just enough to keep them far away

♫ Ooh