Original subtitles

♫ Worlds away from anyone

♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun

♫ Worlds away from anyone

♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun

♫ There was just enough to get that far away

- It was show time in Angelus.

Everyone was getting ready for the three-day long weekend of

fun and competition, celebrating local produce and talent.

- Shoe?

- Ribbons, trophies and even cash prizes were all up for

grabs.

But the ultimate prize?

The one that sent the whole town into a tizz of excitement?

The chance to be called Best In Show at the end.

- Sit, shake, oh, good girl.

Sit, drop, good girl!

Good girl!

Leave it.

- So why is it so important to win first prize anyway?

Well, it's like a big pat on the back,

like the world telling you you're okay.

Wow, 75 centimetres!

What, that's huge for a cucumber.

- It's nowhere near big enough to win yet.

We need more seaweed compost.

- Out of everyone in town, Mel seemed to have the most to

prove.

Especially after the way I introduced her to Vicki.

Oh, this is just Mel.

I had some serious make-up work ahead of me

if Mel was going to trust me again.

No one likes to feel they're second best.

I know I didn't.

Vicki's new boyfriend, Josh,

had arrived from the city in his helicopter,

like some rock star god.

No wonder she dumped me for him.

"Angelus' favourite son," how did he get that?

He's not even born here.

- Lockie's jealous of Josh!

- I am not.

- Oh, Blob just loves this puree.

She can't get enough of it!

Thank goodness you had all those reject cucumbers

before Kid C did us proud.

- Right-o, people, let's go.

Bus is waiting.

- I'm not going.

- You have to go to the opening of the show, Lockie.

- Anyone who's anyone is going.

All the entrants.

You have to go and check out the competition.

We'll be filming ours.

- Vicki will be there.

- Vicki who?

Oh, right, that Vicki.

Yeah, tell her I said hi.

- And what should I say happened to you?

- She won't ask.

- And if she does?

- Just tell her the truth.

I stayed behind to look after Kid C.

- Mel, you coming?

- Sure.

I'm going to see what all the fuss is about.

- Right.

Well, welcome, everyone.

Uh, lovely to see such happy smiling faces.

Uh, I'd now like to, um, call to the stage young Vicki

Streeton and her consort, Josh, to get things under way.

(crowd applauds)

- [Both] We declare the Angelus show.

open.

(crowd cheers)

- I don't know what happened to Blob that morning.

I'm not sure whether she'd eaten way too much of Mum's

cucumber puree or whether it was out of loyalty to me.

All is know is the result was awesome.

(gasps)

- Are you okay?

- I think we need to see that again.

And again.

- Is there a reason we keep watching this?

- It's funny.

- Nothing to do with the fact that the victim

happens to be your ex's new boyfriend?

- What?

I couldn't care less about Josh and Vicki.

Vicki who?

- Haha, shot, Blob!

I didn't know you could be so heartless.

I mean, if I was friends with you as long as Vicki

and you started acting like I didn't exist,

I'd be hurt.

- I wouldn't exactly say I stopped thinking about her

entirely.

- Glad to hear it.

- A fair bit, in fact.

- That's more like it.

- But I've got more important things to think about now.

- Like what?

- Kid C.

Did he just?

- Tape measure.

(laughs)

90 centimetres!

- That seaweed brew packed some kick!

- Still short of the metre mark, though.

- We'll make it.

Just you watch.

- Quick, they're coming!

Tidy your hair, clean your room!

Take out the garbage!

- Who's coming?

- Streetons.

I invited them over for a formal apology.

I never thought they'd actually come, though!

- Now you've run out of excuses!

- What do you mean?

- Avoiding Vicki.

I'll see you later.

- Meanwhile, without his mum around to help,

Egg's grand plan for his show entry wasn't exactly going

according to plan.

- I don't suppose that's meant to happen?

- Dad, the string isn't working.

I need you to weld it for me.

- Weld?

Me?

- I know things didn't work out

last time you picked up a welder.

- I promised your mother and my fine head of hair

I would never pick up a welding torch ever again.

- Dad, come on, there are no other entries in the sculpture

competition this year.

Victory is in the bag.

- I can weld.

- Sorry, Geoffrey, but I'm rather attached to my eyebrows.

- If I win first prize, I get to buy a new guitar!

- Spot welding, seam welding.

- You'll just have to--

- Arc welding, gas welding.

- Find someone else.

- You name it!

- Where else am I going to find an adult who can weld?

- Oh, hello!

I didn't see you there.

- Josh didn't want to come?

That's such as shame because we really did want to apologise

to him in person.

- Josh is at the hairdressers getting a very expensive deep

conditioning treatment.

- Well, we're terribly, terribly sorry.

Aren't we, Sarge?

- Terribly, terribly, terribly.

- It's not so bad.

Josh is fine, isn't he, Mum?

- That he survived is not the issue.

There are other more pressing issues we need to discuss,

concerning your son's show entry.

That there is not a dog!

- There's a reason Cyril's dressed like this.

Last year, Phillip tried to enter Cyril

as a sheep against the other sheep.

- A feral breed, therefore banned from entry.

Next!

- So this year, Phillip and Joe came up with a creative

solution.

- That there is a sheep!

- [Both] Sheep dog!

- Sheep!

- [Both] Sheep dog!

- Sheep!

- [Both] Sheep dog!

- Sheep!

- Mum, this is so unnecessary--

- Victoria, you stay out of this!

Gentlemen, you cannot honestly expect anyone to believe that

is a dog.

- That's where you're wrong.

We can prove he is!

Cyril, bark.

(baas)

Rk.

(baas)

Rk.

(baas)

Rk.

- They mount quite a compelling case when you think about

it.

- This family!

- So when did you trade in your surf board for gum boots?

- Mel and I have been growing this together.

For the show.

- It's impressive.

- Not as impressive as your boyfriend owning a helicopter.

- Yeah.

Anyway, I think you and Mel make good vegetables together.

- Thanks.

- It's a big one.

- Not big enough for Mel.

- She seems hard to please.

- In order to beat last year's winner, Kid C needs to be

about a metre.

- Looks pretty close.

- No, I measured him this morning.

He's still ten centimetres short.

No.

It's impossible.

- What?

- Kid C's grown another 15 centimetres since I last checked.

That's an Angelus record!

We did it.

We did it!

- Hey, Lockie!

- It's a metre, we've done it!

Hey, Mel, it's me.

Just wanted to let you know we've cracked it!

One metre and five centimetres, so give me a call.

Or even better, come round and we can celebrate.

I'll see you later.

- Where's Mum gone?

- Oh.

Right.

Sarge has just ducked down to the station, but I'm sure

Lockie wouldn't mind giving you a double on his bike.

- Yeah, no worries.

- It's okay, I'll be fine.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

(baas)

- Sorry, constable.

He needs to refuel.

- I don't mean to rain on their parade, but my dog,

Bead, is a genuine pedigree sheep dog.

- Your point, Constable Wattle?

- Cyril is, well, to be frank, mutton dressed up as dog.

I wouldn't want them to get their hopes up.

- Eat it up, hay, the food of champions.

- Cyril may very well be a champion, boys.

Time will tell.

But there's no shame in coming second, either.

In some ways it's better.

To know that you have mashed it with the very best

and only missed out be a millimetre.

And you've still got something to look forward to next year.

But what have you got to look forward to if you win?

Only the inevitable decline that happens to all champions

one day or another.

Winning at all costs can send people loopy.

Sometimes second best can also be best dressed.

- Thanks, Sarge.

Very good advice.

For our competition.

We've got it in the bag.

Yep, winners are grinners.

- Lockie!

- [Both] We didn't do it.

- Then who did?

- I take it this isn't yours then?

- It's time we set sail again, Mum.

- I thought you liked it here.

What about all your new friends?

- I don't have friends here.

- You've got Lockie.

- He's not my friend!

- Is this the same Lockie Leonard

that's left 17 messages on our phone?

- 17?

Did he sound angry?

- Does he have a reason to be?

I did something really dumb.

- You know the great thing about doing something dumb?

There's always some way to make it right again.

But if we set sail, you won't get the chance.

I'm sick of making that mistake, Mel.

What about you?

- She must have seen us.

- There was nothing to see.

- If I was Mel and I saw me waltzing back into town claiming

her cucumber, I'd want to smash something too.

Probably your head.

- I don't get it.

There's nothing going on between you and me.

And there's nothing going on between Mel and I either.

She's just.

- Just Mel?

- Then I realised, without even trying,

I'd made Mel feel second best again.

- Vicky?

- I need to make it up to her.

- Yeah, you probably do.

- Ah, Lockie, good to see you again.

- Oh, Josh, hi.

I didn't know you were in town.

- The chauffeur is waiting.

- You've got your own helicopter and a chauffeur?

- I know, it's embarrassing.

I can't wait til I get my drivers licence

then I can finally drive the Rolls myself.

- I'll see you, Lockie.

Mrs Leonard.

- Can I have that?

I could make a whole new big batch of puree with that.

- And then I got it.

A way to make it up to Mel.

A plan B for Kid C.

- What was that for?

- You're a genius.

- The misuse of welding arc lights can cause pain, retinal

damage and even blindness.

- I wasn't going to.

- Apart from damage to the eyes, there's burns caused by

molten gases, breathing problems from toxic gases.

- How do you know all this stuff?

- I'm a qualified welder.

- Wow.

- I'm not just a music teacher, Egg.

- You don't wanna help me?

- Happy to.

- Night, Philip.

- Night, Joe.

- [Both] Night, Cyril.

(baas)

Urk.

- Here it was, judgement day, the last day of the show.

When the prizes are handed out,

when you finally find out if you measure up.

Or not.

- Great time of the year to be planting watermelon seeds.

If you live in the northern hemisphere.

- I didn't have my garden buddy with me.

Otherwise I would have clued up to that sooner.

Where have you been?

- Hiding away.

Feeling pretty small.

I did a very dumb thing.

- That's the excellent thing.

- How?

- Well, usually it's me who does something dumb.

It's cool that I get this week off.

- I killed Kid C.

We won't win a prize now.

- Yeah, but that doesn't change the fact

I still had heaps of fun growing him with you.

- Really?

- Really.

Besides, I wouldn't give up all hope of us winning

something.

- Awesome weld job.

- I bet it's not a patch on your mum.

- It's different to what my mum would have done, but it's

still good in its own way.

- Come on, let's get it to the show.

Not going to make it through that way.

- Maybe we could invert it.

- What if we flip it sideways?

(goofy music)

We're never going to get that thing out the door.

We should have measured it first.

- It's okay.

- You won't win the prize or your new guitar.

- Oh, well.

I think it belongs here.

- Welcome back to Radio Angelus, bringing to you slightly

pre-recorded coverage from the Angelus show, where

controversy rules.

I'm here in the dog enclosure where you could cut the air

with a knife.

- Come on, that's fake fur.

It's so a sheep.

- [Both] Dog.

- I've checked the guidelines and only registered breeds are

allowed in.

- Obviously not page 67, clause 8.3.

It states dogs of any breed, pedigree, mixed or otherwise

may enter at the discretion of the other entrants.

- But this isn't even a dog, it's a sheep!

- [Both] Dog!

- Well, they get my vote.

It's not as though they've got an unfair advantage.

Quite the opposite, in fact.

Could make things easier for the rest of us.

- They get my vote, too.

- Ladies, what are you thinking?

As chair person of the judging committee, I say enough is

enough.

- Despite the tension in the air, it was love at first sight

for Cupcake and Coffee.

- Steady!

- We can't show you what happened next so instead here's

five seconds of something we can show you.

Cupcake and Coffee were disqualified from the show

for inappropriate behavour.

Mrs Streaton and Julia left in shame

and Cyril was allowed in.

His biggest and only competition, however, remained.

- The moment has come, the great sheep dog trial.

An old Angelusian favourite, as young Philip and Joe

put their entrant trough its paces.

- Cyril, eat.

Cyril, bark.

Cyril, bark!

- Well, some nice work there from Cyril the sheep dog.

Although, his bark could do with a little bit of work.

Ooh, and here's our next entrant, Bead Wattle.

I don't anticipate she'll have any trouble with her bark.

- Sit.

Drop.

Good girl.

Sit.

Hand shake.

Good girl.

- But then, just when all hopes seemed lost

an amazing thing happened.

Bead caught sight of Cyril.

But Bead wouldn't stay.

She spent the rest of the afternoon trying round Cyril up

just like a genuine pedigree sheep dog should.

And the rest is show history.

- The winners of the Best In Show category.

Philip and Joe with Cyril.

- It wasn't the only ribbon won by a Leonard that

afternoon.

- And in second place, in the Jam and Preserves section,

we have Lockie Leonard and Melanie Lamb

for their cucumber pickle.

- They got second!

(crowd applauds)

- I used Mum's cucumber puree recipe and a few extra

ingredients.

- Would Lockie and Mel please come to the stage.

- I'm sorry we only came second.

I think I used too much curry powder.

- I'm happy with second.

Anyway, there's always next year, right?

- Yeah.

(door knocks)

- We didn't have any plans today, did we?

- Actually, I'm here to see Egg.

I wanted you to have this.

- I can't take that.

- Of course you can.

It's just been sitting around gathering dust.

- Wow!

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

- So it turns out, the best awards aren't always blue or in

the shape of a trophy.

(guitar strums)

♫ From little things big things grow

♫ From little things big things grow

♫ From little things big things grow

♫ From little things big things grow.

- And they're not always on display for the whole world to

see, either.

Well, not for six to 12 days anyway.

♫ From little things big things grow

♫ From little things big things grow

(guitar music)

♫ Boy is breaking underneath the weight of strain

♫ Worlds away from anyone they were burning

♫ Themselves out in the sun

♫ Worlds away from anyone they were burning

♫ Themselves out in the sun

♫ It was just enough to keep them far away