Original subtitles

♫ Worlds away from anyone

♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun

♫ Worlds away from anyone

♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun

♫ It was just enough to keep them far away

(rock music)

- [Lockie] Okay so what we're talking about

this isn't just any old question, hey?

This is the biggest question you're ever gonna face

in your whole life.

As in, who are we, and what's to become of us all?

When we leave school, that is.

- That's right everybody, that's right,

say hello to your future.

- When I give you the word of command

you will quietly open your booklet

where you'll find a personality test.

Did I say personality test?

Oh dear, Leonard, do what you can.

- I didn't need some personality test

to tell me what I was going to do.

- [Announcer] World surf champion Lockie Leonard!

(Lockie cheering)

- You will turn to the back of the booklet

where you will find a brief description

of the career best suited to your score.

- No surprises here, Lock, as expected,

ground-breaking research scientist came in at number one.

- [Lockie] Uh-huh.

- And as a last resort,

a wide range in consultancies to the NASA space programme.

What about you Lock?

- [Lockie] There used to be a time

when Egg and me were best mates.

I'd been hoping the results of the test

might be a useful opener for an overdue chat.

- Well what's the suggestion?

- Saying something in (coughs) doggy care.

(coughs)

- Don't stress, Lockie, the test is just a guide.

What really matters is getting out in the workforce

and making an impact.

Don't slouch, Egg, it makes you look unmotivated.

- Hey, what's up?

- Who's asking?

- Gosh, I can't believe you two haven't already met.

Lockie, this is Curtis, Curtis, this is--

- Phil, shut up.

- That's funny, squeak squeak.

Curtis can hear a squeak

but Curtis doesn't see any teeny weeny little mouse.

(Curtis laughs)

- I don't know Lock,

but I think Egg might've just got himself a new best friend.

- [Lockie] And it wasn't only Phillip and me

who were thinking about the future.

New horizons were opening up for Blob as well.

(inspirational music)

- Okay then, everybody listening.

Deep breath, Joy.

(Blob gurgles)

Now my suggestion is perhaps the time has come when--

(Blob gurgles)

This concerns you, Blob.

We might start thinking about DC.

(inspirational music)

- Drinking cocoa?

- Drooling custard?

- Dropping clangers?

- No, I'm talking about.

(moves into suspenseful music)

Day care.

I mean if were up to me I would keep all of you kids at home

until they came and hauled Sarge and I

off to the nursing home,

but my parenting books all say it's a jolly good idea

if Blob starts to learn to socialise

with other young people.

(Blob screeches)

- Let it go.

- Just a couple of hours a week.

And then of course all that extra time

frees me up For all my outside interests.

- [All] What outside interests?

- I don't know I'll think of something!

(frogs croaking)

(Sarge coughs)

- Right well um whatever you think's the fair thing, Joy.

Right boys?

- Course!

(Joy laughs nervously)

I mean who knows, Blob might actually love it.

(Blob gurgles sceptically)

Right, who wouldn't enjoy an afternoon a week of day care?

(Blob gurgles)

Goodness me, what I wouldn't give

for a day care facility for all of us Moms!

It's my bear!

(Woman wailing)

No you wouldn't I--

(bear squeaks sadly)

(Joy wails)

- [Lockie] And with two hours of free time

every Thursday afternoon,

Mum was finally able to explore her outside interests.

(playful music)

- I know, let's put the radio on, shall we Blob?

That'll cheer things up a bit.

(radio static)

That's right,

we don't have a radio station in Angeles.

- [Lockie] I wasn't the only one

worried about my future prospects.

Across town, Rev was also grasping

with the bigger questions.

(rock music playing)

Apart from wondering if Egg had eaten his lunch,

Rev was having second thoughts about his life's purpose

and sadly, Egg's careers booklet

wasn't about to provide hiim with any comfort.

- And what might this be?

- No, no, no, don't look at that!

It's just some dumb careers guide thing.

Bit of a joke really.

- Well, any suggestions, career-wise?

- Um, well, they think maybe I wouldn't go to bad

if I wanted to become a minister like you.

- Like me?

(heroic music)

- See they've listed the qualities you're supposed to have

if you're going to be a top reverend.

- They have?

- Engaging, effective, inspirational,

a self-possessed leader of men.

- Hm, well you learn something every day.

(Egg laughs)

- They're talking about you Dad!

- Well yes, of course they are.

(laughing)

- Hello, Angeles, good to see you!

(Laughs nervously)

Wow, you're a great audience.

You know, a funny thing happened on the way to the rectory.

Does anybody know what a rectory is?

- [Lockie] But try as he might,

the Rev wasn't inspiring the crowd lately,

and he was beginning to suspect he might never again.

- Gosh, Lockie.

All you children, eh, growing up so quickly.

Careers day, day care.

(Joy laughs nervously)

Isn't it exciting?

At this rate I'll be out of a job.

- You can have mine.

- Hm, Doggy care.

Well isn't that fascinating?

Well I certainly know where to come for shampoo

if we ever get a dog.

- Mom I don't want to spend the next 30 years

up to my ears in dog shampoo.

Why would they think that's something I wanna do?

Who do they think I am?

- Oh I'll admit it, it's not as immediately exciting as--

- Groundbreaking research scientist?

- Or consultant to the space programme.

(Sarge chuckles)

- Look, Lockie, Sarge and I are thrilled just the same.

- Thrilled!

(Sarge chuckles unconvincingly)

- [Lockie] Phillip had offered

to check through my careers test

to see where the doggy care thing might have come from.

(Phillip sighs)

- Okay these are only my preliminary findings,

so they're subject to all the usual variables--

- Phil, just tell me what you think.

- Well if you're asking me,

the thing that's pushed you over the line

into to the touchy-feely, pet-loving, big-soot camp

(Phillip sighs)

I'm sorry Locke, you're way too nice.

- What?

- It's a definite trend Locke.

Way too much consideration for others

especially our little animal friends.

- So you're saying if I wanna get ahead

I should model myself on bad dudes like Curtis?

- It's not such a crazy idea.

Let's face it, he's certainly cutting through

with your ex-friend Egg.

- Too nice!

I don't believe it.

- Would you call yourself a people person?

Most of the time, some of the time, rarely, never.

- Joy?

You're not doing the boys' careers test are you?

- Why not?

They're all growing up so quickly

I'm gonna have all this free time on my hands.

I can be productive too, you know.

(Joy mumbling)

- Joy, you are the life and soul of the Leonard family.

You are one of the world's great poems made flesh.

- So where are my stripes?

- What do you mean?

- Mm, where are my stripes?

You're a sergeant.

- Yes I am.

- You have three stripes on your sleeve,

that's like three big ticks.

Everybody says, "Ooh look at that Sarge,

"I bet he know a thing or two."

- Yes they do.

(Sarge chuckles)

- What about me?

I'm a Mom, I have three lovely children.

I didn't even get a certificate.

- Do you want a job?

- I want a salary.

I mean what I wouldn't give for a new washing machine.

(Joy laughs)

- What sort of job do you want?

- I think I'd like a little job where I smile a lot.

And everybody would say,

"Oh, good old Joy, what would we have done without her?"

I'd just shrug my shoulders and say,

(laughs)

"Get away with you, it's nothing, my pleasure."

(frogs croaking)

- No more Mr Nice Guy.

I'm heavy dude, right?

That means no more Mr nice Lockie.

You talking to me?

(whispering) Hey, you, you talking to me?

(metal clanking)

- Morning Lockie.

- Hey, you talking to me?

You talking to me?

- I only said good morning.

- Yeah well from now on yo better watch your step.

'cause things are gonna change around here.

I'm gonna be playing it Curtis-style!

(dramatic drumming music)

Hah!

Hah!

Hah!

(Phillip exhales)

(rock music)

♫ Get your shoe shoes on

♫ Get your shoe shoes on

♫ Aint nobody else they got to go down

Say yo to the new me, Lockie's in the house!

Word, don't come asking me to help

little old ladies cross the road.

Do you know what?

It's not gonna happen.

And when you see the banana peel and you think,

you'd better pick it up in case someone slips.

(man screams)

Well forget that.

And litter, who cares?

(man whistles)

Okay, the litter thing, that starts tomorrow.

Look out world, here he comes:

Lockie Leonard, looking for aggravation.

Well, that was the general idea,

but really, I just wanted Egg and me to be friends again.

Yo, bro, check it!

- Check what?

- I've been thinking things through in my head

and it's time to put being good back inside the box.

Oh it's time to be bad!

- Hey Lockie, are you alright?

Do you want me to come with you to the sick bay?

- Now if it isn't squeak squeak.

Hey squeak squeak, Curtis couldn't help overhearing.

- Oh really?

(laughs nervously)

Yeah cool!

- Now, squeak squeak,

it's all well and good to say you're gonna be bad,

but you gotta walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

- Excuse me?

- Maybe you should help him out

and get totally bad together.

- Excuse me?

- The sun is up, the sky is blue,

and Curtis's dog Minsa needs a gift from you.

- A gift?

- Minsa would like a new collar.

That's a dog collar.

Why don't you two bring Minsa a new collar for me?

- You mean like Egg's Dad wears.

- This is your mission should you choose to accept it.

Now why don't you two bad guys

bring Curtis the Rev's dog collar?

Then Curtis will know how bad you really are.

(dramatic drums playing)

- Thanks Lockie,

I don't know what you're trying to prove back there,

but trust me, it didn't work.

- I'm sorry Egg.

- And another thing, if we go ahead with this,

this is really gonna mess with my careers prospects.

- Yeah I know but Curtis is kind of expecting it now.

- That's right and nobody argues with Curtis.

Thanks Lockie, thanks a lot.

(gate squeaks)

(organ playing)

- I have been a loyal employee almost on 15 years now.

And I've never once asked for a promotion or a company car.

Now I was hoping if I could bother you for one tiny thing,

a performance appraisal.

Nothing big, just a quick chat to let me know

if I'm on target or in the wrong job entirely.

The thing is I've never been much good at anything else,

although there was that time at theological college

where I worked as a Christmas postman.

Everybody was so pleased to see me,

and I felt like I had a message to give.

Perhaps that's the line of work

I should have stuck to all along.

If you don't have any time for our face-to-face,

I'd be happy with a written response or sign.

Yes, a sign, that's what I need!

If it's not too much trouble of course?

Well I'm glad we had this chat, amen.

(organ playing)

(door slams)

My dog collar's gone!

It's a sign!

(thundering)

(ominous organ playing)

(playful music)

Oh hi there!

(Joy laughs)

- What are you doing here?

Good works, I suppose, as usual, comforting the unemployed.

- Yes, yes, we do what we can.

(Rev laughs)

And you?

- Oh I, I, I've been past here that many times

and I've always thought,

"I must pop in and have a look one day."

(both laugh nervously)

(playful music)

- Georgie O'Donnell.

Now then Mrs Leonard, you're looking for job,

will that be full time or casual?

- Two.

- You want two jobs?

(Joy laughs nervously)

- Two hours.

- A day? - A week.

- I don't suppose there's any call for a postman?

- Not really, not since the email took off.

- At Thursday afternoons from 1:30 until 20 past three?

- And I probably wouldn't be able to work very many Sundays.

- I'd just like to get out and talk to a few people.

- My dog collar's gone missing.

Maybe Sundays won't be the problem they were.

- It can get pretty quiet at home for us Moms.

I mean the radio just sits there and goes

(Joy hums)

all day.

- [Lockie] While George from the job centre

was trying to find them something,

he arranged for Mom and the Rev

to have a one-hour trial at the bowling alley.

(humorous music)

You had to give Mom and the Rev an A for effort,

and putting their pasts behind them was more difficult.

- Chicken.

(clucking)

Hello my girls, come on, lovely ladies.

- [Lockie] Then of course

there were the interviews.

- Hi there, and welcome to Angeles's

most exciting nugget outlet.

- No please, God invented chicken nuggets for everyone.

- Look I don't think

I'd recommend the chicken nuggets today.

How about a nice green salad instead?

Mm.

- [Lockie] So Sasha got the job instead.

- Where am I going wrong, Jeff, is it me?

Have I lost my touch?

- Dad I'm sure your dog collar will turn up any moment.

You've probably just left it somewhere.

- Nah Jeff, I know a sign when I see one.

It's time for me to take a different path,

possibly something in retail.

(Egg laughs nervously)

- No Dad you can't, you're the best minister there ever was.

- No let's face it Jeff,

if our saviour came back down here to earth,

he wouldn't need to multiply loaves and fishes

to feed my congregation.

He'd have to take most of it home in a doggy bag.

- We've gotta get Dad's dog collar back.

- What's Curtis gonna say?

He'll freak!

- I know he will, better start praying.

- Yeah.

(angelic music)

- Did I hear you two fellas were looking for a dog collar?

- You did? - How'd you know that?

- I move in mysterious ways.

(humorous music)

- That's Minsa?

(dog barking and whining)

- Let's get it!

Thank you!

- My pleasure!

- Hey Lockie, does this feel the right thing to be doing?

- Massively.

(phone ringing)

- Yes hello.

Oh hello Headmaster.

- [Lockie] A miracle!

The chaplain at Angeles High had broken his leg,

and they needed someone to fill in, urgently.

(angelic music)

- It's a sign, somebody needs me.

Sorry, no.

I mean yes, of course I'm available.

- [Lockie] Meanwhile Mom got a phone call too.

- I'm confused, why did you want to meet me here?

- Community radio station.

It checked out a few years ago now,

but I'm sure someone like you

could get it up and running in no time.

- (laughing) Me?

Do you really think so?

- Talking to all those all those other Moms at home?

I'm sure of it.

You see Joy, it's my job to listen

and steer people in the right direction.

My card in case you want me again.

(angelic music)

- [Lockie] Radio Angeles

was going to be pretty important to Mom

in the weeks to come, but that's another story.

The Rev's big questions had been answered,

he was in the right job after all,

and his future looked bright.

But the tricky thing about life,

just when you think you've got it sorted,

another bigger question is always lurking around the corner.

- Hold it right there!

You two took something that belonged to me.

(Curtis laughing)

Hey that took guts!

Curtis likes you guys.

We're gonna be making lots more mischief together,

that's every day of the week from now on.

- [Lockie] But not everything

can be answered right away.

And sometimes it's out of our hands anyway.

(rock music)