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1
00:00:00,023 --> 00:00:04,728
Do you want to marry me? I'm
applying for a job. What for?!
2
00:00:04,730 --> 00:00:07,443
What if he gets someone difficult?!
3
00:00:07,445 --> 00:00:09,532
If you wanted to come
for dinner, I could cook.
4
00:00:09,534 --> 00:00:12,183
Are you seeing anyone?
Tell me about Lawrence.
5
00:00:12,185 --> 00:00:14,223
They do a YouTube channel.
6
00:00:14,225 --> 00:00:15,623
I've got woodworm.
7
00:00:15,625 --> 00:00:18,783
Needs doing sharpish.
Do you have that sort of money?
8
00:00:18,785 --> 00:00:20,903
We might have to put the
kitchen on hold.
9
00:00:20,905 --> 00:00:24,503
This is you all over, Gillian.
We'll find another way.
10
00:00:24,505 --> 00:00:26,303
PHONE RINGS
It's Ted.
11
00:00:26,305 --> 00:00:29,265
He's coming over.
The plot thickens.
12
00:01:16,625 --> 00:01:18,265
Ta-ra. Night.
13
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,983
All right, look, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said...
14
00:01:33,985 --> 00:01:35,943
Let's...
15
00:01:35,945 --> 00:01:37,985
SHE SIGHS
16
00:01:40,025 --> 00:01:43,503
I shouldn't have said anything,
not on people's birthdays,
17
00:01:43,505 --> 00:01:46,703
I should've waited till we got
home. No.
18
00:01:46,705 --> 00:01:50,143
I should've spoken to you
about it before we set off,
19
00:01:50,145 --> 00:01:54,023
then we could have
discussed it properly.
20
00:01:54,025 --> 00:01:56,263
I do understand why you want
to help her.
21
00:01:56,265 --> 00:01:59,183
No, you're right. She's 53.
22
00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:00,343
Just.
23
00:02:00,345 --> 00:02:03,783
She needs to stop thinking
she can tap money off me.
24
00:02:03,785 --> 00:02:06,543
I just worry, you know,
about workmen.
25
00:02:06,545 --> 00:02:09,943
They can have you over a barrel
if you start mucking them about.
26
00:02:09,945 --> 00:02:13,423
Yeah. Not turning up,
turning up late,
27
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:16,705
turning up when it suits
them. I know, I know.
28
00:02:18,625 --> 00:02:19,943
We can't fall out, can we?
29
00:02:19,945 --> 00:02:21,623
No!
30
00:02:21,625 --> 00:02:23,665
And we're not going to.
31
00:02:27,985 --> 00:02:31,743
Have you applied for this job
in this supermarket
32
00:02:31,745 --> 00:02:33,303
because you're fed up with me?
33
00:02:33,305 --> 00:02:34,663
No!
34
00:02:34,665 --> 00:02:37,623
I know things haven't been
the same between us
35
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:41,185
since we couldn't agree about
Brexit.
36
00:02:43,465 --> 00:02:47,503
It's just...to get out of the
house now and again.
37
00:02:47,505 --> 00:02:49,063
Just...
38
00:02:49,065 --> 00:02:51,703
..to see a few new faces.
39
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:54,385
Seeing new faces keeps you
young.
40
00:02:56,065 --> 00:02:59,185
Are you fed up with this old face?
41
00:03:01,505 --> 00:03:03,263
OWL HOOTS
42
00:03:03,265 --> 00:03:04,625
No.
43
00:03:22,185 --> 00:03:24,063
TV ON
44
00:03:24,065 --> 00:03:26,183
DOG WHINES
45
00:03:26,185 --> 00:03:28,343
Listen, don't take this the
wrong way,
46
00:03:28,345 --> 00:03:30,463
but I can lend you this £5,000.
47
00:03:30,465 --> 00:03:31,783
No.
48
00:03:31,785 --> 00:03:33,503
Caroline,
49
00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,423
she's right.
50
00:03:35,425 --> 00:03:38,583
Shouldn't have asked.
Well, it's there. The offer.
51
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:39,703
If you need it.
52
00:03:39,705 --> 00:03:42,183
You're kind, but no.
53
00:03:42,185 --> 00:03:44,785
I'll have to find another way.
54
00:03:48,465 --> 00:03:49,985
I, er...
55
00:03:51,985 --> 00:03:53,145
What?
56
00:03:59,465 --> 00:04:01,305
I got a birthday card off Robbie.
57
00:04:07,105 --> 00:04:10,143
Sounds like he's doing all right.
Do you think he'll stay in Canada?
58
00:04:10,145 --> 00:04:12,423
That's the first time he's been
in touch since he went.
59
00:04:12,425 --> 00:04:13,423
Well, in touch with me.
60
00:04:13,425 --> 00:04:15,503
He texts Raff every now and
again. It's a nice message.
61
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,863
That's what I thought.
62
00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:19,023
I mean...it's, er, reassuring.
63
00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:23,743
He hasn't changed his mind about not
saying anything to anybody...
64
00:04:23,745 --> 00:04:25,185
..about owt.
65
00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:27,505
Hmm.
66
00:04:29,745 --> 00:04:33,343
I don't miss him. I thought
I might, in time, but...
67
00:04:33,345 --> 00:04:34,983
You don't get lonely?
68
00:04:34,985 --> 00:04:37,305
I think this is the least lonely
I've ever been.
69
00:04:39,505 --> 00:04:42,023
Do you? Get lonely?
70
00:04:42,025 --> 00:04:45,983
Yeah. I think, you know,
when you've got a little one
71
00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:49,183
and you spend so much time
talking their language,
72
00:04:49,185 --> 00:04:52,823
and then there's nobody there
to talk yours, then...yeah.
73
00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:55,863
You want to put yourself out
there. I don't.
74
00:04:55,865 --> 00:04:58,863
You need to get yourself over
to Hebden Women's Disco.
75
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:01,783
I am not going to
Hebden Women's Disco.
76
00:05:01,785 --> 00:05:04,783
Second Saturday in the month.
I'll come with you.
77
00:05:04,785 --> 00:05:06,623
You'll be there by yourself,
mate, cos I'm not coming.
78
00:05:06,625 --> 00:05:09,463
Where do posh lesbians go to
get...? The Guardian!
79
00:05:09,465 --> 00:05:12,663
Soulmates. Don't do this to me.
No, they do!
80
00:05:12,665 --> 00:05:14,263
I've got someone coming round for
dinner tomorrow night.
81
00:05:14,265 --> 00:05:18,583
Don't get excited! It's not...
She's probably not, erm...
82
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:22,143
It's my head of English. Ruth.
83
00:05:22,145 --> 00:05:23,943
Wow.
84
00:05:23,945 --> 00:05:25,663
Yes, the same as... The dog.
85
00:05:25,665 --> 00:05:27,143
I know. Yeah. What's she like?
86
00:05:27,145 --> 00:05:28,463
Well, she's not...
87
00:05:28,465 --> 00:05:29,943
WHISPERING: ..gay.
88
00:05:29,945 --> 00:05:31,863
Her husband's sleeping
in the spare bedroom,
89
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:34,263
but she's not gay, so...
90
00:05:34,265 --> 00:05:36,423
But you like her.
91
00:05:36,425 --> 00:05:38,505
She's 15 years younger than
me and she's not...
92
00:05:39,865 --> 00:05:42,943
..as I say, but, yeah, yeah.
I do, yeah.
93
00:05:42,945 --> 00:05:44,703
Do I? No, I don't know.
94
00:05:44,705 --> 00:05:47,583
So, she's coming round for...?
95
00:05:47,585 --> 00:05:49,263
Well, to go through the Q&A.
96
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:52,583
She's doing the Q&A when Judith
comes, so, obviously,
97
00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:54,983
it's got to go smoothly
98
00:05:54,985 --> 00:05:58,383
and be well planned...
Yeah! God, yeah, Judith.
99
00:05:58,385 --> 00:06:00,063
No messing about.
No tripping up, pissed.
100
00:06:00,065 --> 00:06:03,703
So you've invited her over for
dinner? Ruth?
101
00:06:03,705 --> 00:06:06,863
Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have.
No, you should have!
102
00:06:06,865 --> 00:06:10,625
Yeah, but I don't know what
you...what you do. I don't know...
103
00:06:12,385 --> 00:06:14,263
..anything, and I kind of wish
I hadn't now,
104
00:06:14,265 --> 00:06:15,623
now that I've said it out loud.
105
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:18,423
Do you want me to come?
Say all the wrong things?
106
00:06:18,425 --> 00:06:20,943
Yeah, that'd help.
Show you up, embarrass you?
107
00:06:20,945 --> 00:06:22,423
Yeah, brilliant.
108
00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:23,863
"Caroline fancies you"!
109
00:06:23,865 --> 00:06:25,063
Shh.
110
00:06:25,065 --> 00:06:27,223
That'd focus everyone's thoughts.
111
00:06:27,225 --> 00:06:28,665
Don't make me wish I hadn't
told you.
112
00:06:30,625 --> 00:06:32,103
You should go for it.
113
00:06:32,105 --> 00:06:33,663
You're very attractive,
114
00:06:33,665 --> 00:06:35,543
even if she is 15 years
younger.
115
00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:37,023
She should be so lucky.
116
00:06:37,025 --> 00:06:38,265
Seriously.
117
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:40,585
Life's short.
118
00:06:42,785 --> 00:06:44,543
You deserve something nice.
119
00:06:44,545 --> 00:06:46,465
You're a nice person.
120
00:07:07,625 --> 00:07:08,823
Dad?
121
00:07:08,825 --> 00:07:10,543
Hmm?
122
00:07:10,545 --> 00:07:13,425
You all right? Mmm. Yeah.
123
00:07:14,625 --> 00:07:16,223
Sitting in the dark.
124
00:07:16,225 --> 00:07:17,463
Cool.
125
00:07:17,465 --> 00:07:19,065
Bit weird.
126
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,983
What would you think about...
127
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,503
..if I got married again?
128
00:07:25,505 --> 00:07:26,623
Who to?
129
00:07:26,625 --> 00:07:28,103
Well, Judith, of course.
130
00:07:28,105 --> 00:07:29,465
HE GIGGLES
131
00:07:32,225 --> 00:07:33,623
You don't like her.
132
00:07:33,625 --> 00:07:35,103
How do you mean?
133
00:07:35,105 --> 00:07:36,183
She doesn't like you.
134
00:07:36,185 --> 00:07:38,423
In what way?
You hate each other.
135
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:39,823
Oh, I see.
136
00:07:39,825 --> 00:07:41,423
Well, yes.
137
00:07:41,425 --> 00:07:47,343
I realise that's...an impression we
may have cultivated.
138
00:07:47,345 --> 00:07:49,185
I've always found it convincing.
139
00:07:50,425 --> 00:07:51,903
The thing is,
140
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,465
I don't want to hurt her.
141
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:56,065
No.
142
00:07:57,265 --> 00:07:58,625
Yeah. Yeah. Right.
143
00:08:02,665 --> 00:08:07,063
Well, I'm just invading Iraq
upstairs, so...
144
00:08:07,065 --> 00:08:09,785
I'm just going to... Sure.
145
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,223
So I thought I'd jump in
the Jag
146
00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:39,585
with you and Flora, and Ted can
travel in the Lexus with Alan.
147
00:08:40,825 --> 00:08:42,583
We'll need the Jag, anyway, for
Ted's luggage,
148
00:08:42,585 --> 00:08:45,063
by the sound of things. Right.
149
00:08:45,065 --> 00:08:48,825
Are you feeding the 5,000? No.
150
00:08:49,825 --> 00:08:52,663
Got someone coming? Possibly.
151
00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:54,983
Well, shall I set off, then,
if you're going together?
152
00:08:54,985 --> 00:08:56,743
Do you know,
I could've met you there.
153
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,145
Yeah, that's what I said.
154
00:09:06,305 --> 00:09:09,383
I just wanted five minutes
with you. Why?
155
00:09:09,385 --> 00:09:12,863
I think he's fed up with me.
Alan? Why?
156
00:09:12,865 --> 00:09:15,223
Well, why has he applied
for this job?
157
00:09:15,225 --> 00:09:18,143
"To get out of the house,"
he's told me.
158
00:09:18,145 --> 00:09:20,023
"To see a few new faces."
159
00:09:20,025 --> 00:09:21,665
Well, that's...
160
00:09:22,825 --> 00:09:27,183
Doesn't mean he's fed up of you.
Well, if he was happy at home,
161
00:09:27,185 --> 00:09:30,303
he wouldn't think of applying
for a job, would he?
162
00:09:30,305 --> 00:09:33,543
You know, it isn't as if he
needs to, is it? He's retired.
163
00:09:33,545 --> 00:09:35,023
Yeah, but you don't want to be
164
00:09:35,025 --> 00:09:38,823
in each other's pockets all day,
do you? Do you?
165
00:09:38,825 --> 00:09:42,223
And then this business last
night with bloody Gillian.
166
00:09:42,225 --> 00:09:43,543
Shh! Just...
167
00:09:43,545 --> 00:09:45,063
Oh...
168
00:09:45,065 --> 00:09:46,385
Be careful what you say. Oh.
169
00:10:04,385 --> 00:10:06,223
There. Look.
170
00:10:06,225 --> 00:10:09,583
Grando! Hello, love.
171
00:10:09,585 --> 00:10:10,903
Hello.
172
00:10:10,905 --> 00:10:11,943
Hey, you beat me!
173
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,503
Hmm. Looks like he's landed,
if he's on it.
174
00:10:14,505 --> 00:10:17,343
He'll have security to get
through, four bags to collect,
175
00:10:17,345 --> 00:10:19,783
and can't walk so fast, so he's
going to be, what,
176
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,223
20 minutes? Ah.
177
00:10:21,225 --> 00:10:23,505
Can I go and look in that shop?
Stay where I can see you.
178
00:10:27,105 --> 00:10:29,465
Can I have some money?
No, you can window-shop.
179
00:10:30,585 --> 00:10:32,143
It's all landfill.
180
00:10:32,145 --> 00:10:35,943
Have you seen Celia,
and Caroline? Not yet.
181
00:10:35,945 --> 00:10:40,303
Everything all right at home
last night when you got back?
182
00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:41,663
Yeah!
183
00:10:41,665 --> 00:10:43,065
Yeah. Yeah.
184
00:10:44,425 --> 00:10:47,383
HE SIGHS
I should've talked to her
185
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:51,103
about that there before we came
over, and then...
186
00:10:51,105 --> 00:10:53,943
Yeah. Well... I'm sorry.
187
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:57,623
It's fine. Here, happen I could give
you a bit of something towards it,
188
00:10:57,625 --> 00:11:01,623
at least, and not tell Celia.
No. No, I'm not having that.
189
00:11:01,625 --> 00:11:04,783
You see, you try and please
everyone, and you end up
pleasing nobody!
190
00:11:04,785 --> 00:11:07,423
Presumably Celia's happy now?
HE SIGHS
191
00:11:07,425 --> 00:11:10,105
Which is fine. It's fine. Hey!
192
00:11:15,025 --> 00:11:16,503
Ey-up, they're here.
193
00:11:16,505 --> 00:11:17,663
Yeah.
194
00:11:17,665 --> 00:11:20,863
Long time no see!
Long time no see!
195
00:11:20,865 --> 00:11:22,503
They're great chums,
them two, aren't they, hey?
196
00:11:22,505 --> 00:11:25,503
They never stop chatting when we
pick 'em up from school.
197
00:11:25,505 --> 00:11:26,703
Yeah, they love each other.
198
00:11:26,705 --> 00:11:28,703
She's a nice little kid, Flora.
199
00:11:28,705 --> 00:11:30,663
Yeah.
200
00:11:30,665 --> 00:11:32,945
Looks like he's landed! Yup!
201
00:11:34,185 --> 00:11:35,385
Hopefully.
202
00:11:57,545 --> 00:12:01,465
I'm going feeding chickens!
Right!
203
00:12:35,265 --> 00:12:36,945
Ohh...
204
00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:49,585
Fuck...off!
205
00:12:51,305 --> 00:12:53,265
PHONE RINGS
206
00:12:56,105 --> 00:12:57,783
Hiya.
207
00:12:57,785 --> 00:13:01,223
You need to come and look at this.
Why, what's up?
208
00:13:01,225 --> 00:13:02,905
Well, where are you?
209
00:13:06,065 --> 00:13:08,545
Are you smoking? No.
210
00:13:09,985 --> 00:13:13,103
You were, you were smoking!
211
00:13:13,105 --> 00:13:16,183
You know, I'm not stupid,
I'm not blind.
212
00:13:16,185 --> 00:13:18,423
This is that Leah
you're always on about!
213
00:13:18,425 --> 00:13:20,823
When we went out for that drink
before Christmas with your lot,
214
00:13:20,825 --> 00:13:23,863
she were never inside the pub!
Always standing outside
215
00:13:23,865 --> 00:13:25,903
in the rain cracking her baccy
open!
216
00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:29,145
This is just so typical of you,
this is. You're just so...
217
00:13:32,585 --> 00:13:35,425
Oh, my actual God.
218
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,903
Who did you say you'd got
coming for dinner tonight?
219
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,583
I didn't,
220
00:13:44,585 --> 00:13:47,065
cos I don't want any
comments or opinions.
221
00:13:50,105 --> 00:13:51,545
Is that Ted?
222
00:13:52,745 --> 00:13:53,783
Ted!
223
00:13:53,785 --> 00:13:57,103
Ah! Here we are! Thanks,
love, that'll do.
224
00:13:57,105 --> 00:13:59,103
Are you all right? Yes.
225
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,183
Oh, no, it's not mine, no.
No, we borrowed it.
226
00:14:01,185 --> 00:14:02,943
We just saw it down there.
227
00:14:02,945 --> 00:14:04,743
I think it belongs to the airline.
228
00:14:04,745 --> 00:14:07,263
Either that, or there's someone
down there struggling.
229
00:14:07,265 --> 00:14:08,503
BOTH CHUCKLE
230
00:14:08,505 --> 00:14:12,183
How are we all? Hello, hello,
hello! Look at you!
231
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,343
Ted!
232
00:14:14,345 --> 00:14:17,703
Gillian!
Oh, Ted, hello. Mwah.
233
00:14:17,705 --> 00:14:19,903
And Caroline! Hello, Ted.
234
00:14:19,905 --> 00:14:21,783
Hello, love. Aw.
235
00:14:21,785 --> 00:14:24,983
And, er, who're these young
ladies?
236
00:14:24,985 --> 00:14:28,423
This is Calamity - Emily -
and this is Flora.
237
00:14:28,425 --> 00:14:29,943
How are you?
238
00:14:29,945 --> 00:14:31,663
I'm... I'm lovely!
239
00:14:31,665 --> 00:14:33,943
Oh, yeah, this is, er... Mia.
240
00:14:33,945 --> 00:14:35,623
Mia! And, er... Alyssa.
241
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:36,943
And Alyssa.
242
00:14:36,945 --> 00:14:39,303
Hi. We chummed up in Hong Kong.
243
00:14:39,305 --> 00:14:41,863
He's so lovely! We love him.
244
00:14:41,865 --> 00:14:45,143
They've been looking after me.
I said we'd give them a lift.
245
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:47,863
You have brought the Land Rover,
haven't you? Yeah! Yeah!
246
00:14:47,865 --> 00:14:50,943
Aw! Uncle Ted!
247
00:14:50,945 --> 00:14:52,983
Where are you going, exactly?
248
00:14:52,985 --> 00:14:54,503
Where do you want a lift to?
249
00:14:54,505 --> 00:14:55,983
Anywhere! Wherever you're going.
250
00:14:55,985 --> 00:14:58,583
We could put them up for a couple
of nights, couldn't we?
251
00:14:58,585 --> 00:15:00,543
Yeah! Yeah!
252
00:15:00,545 --> 00:15:04,263
Till they've got their bearings.
Yeah, if...
253
00:15:04,265 --> 00:15:06,663
Er, yeah.
We're no trouble.
254
00:15:06,665 --> 00:15:09,463
We can sleep anywhere.
We could sleep in a ditch.
255
00:15:09,465 --> 00:15:12,145
We'd rather not, but, um...
If we had to.
256
00:15:18,505 --> 00:15:20,743
See you later.
See you later!
257
00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:22,823
So...I'm confused.
258
00:15:22,825 --> 00:15:26,583
So I'm taking Ted's...everything
and the kitchen sink
259
00:15:26,585 --> 00:15:29,543
in my car with Mia and Alyssa,
260
00:15:29,545 --> 00:15:31,383
but you're taking their backpacks
261
00:15:31,385 --> 00:15:33,223
and Flora in your Land Rover.
Right.
262
00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:34,903
Then I'll collect Flora
from you later,
263
00:15:34,905 --> 00:15:36,103
when I've got five minutes.
264
00:15:36,105 --> 00:15:38,425
And where are the Kiwis
going to?
265
00:15:39,785 --> 00:15:41,823
Well, I have no idea. I know they're
not staying with me,
266
00:15:41,825 --> 00:15:42,903
because I've got Ruth coming.
267
00:15:42,905 --> 00:15:44,703
I would have them,
only we've no spare bedrooms.
268
00:15:44,705 --> 00:15:46,943
So, what am I doing with
their backpacks?
269
00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:48,623
Well, I'd drop them round at
my mum and your dad's.
270
00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:50,305
That's where I'm intending to
drop them.
271
00:15:51,585 --> 00:15:54,345
Good thinking, Batman. See you
there. I'll see you somewhere.
272
00:16:07,305 --> 00:16:09,103
GIRLS GIGGLE
273
00:16:09,105 --> 00:16:10,783
PHONE RINGS
Hello!
274
00:16:10,785 --> 00:16:13,743
You know when you set off
to the airport?
275
00:16:13,745 --> 00:16:15,303
Yeah.
276
00:16:15,305 --> 00:16:17,543
As you were driving away
from the house,
277
00:16:17,545 --> 00:16:20,023
did you not look in
your rear-view mirror at all?
278
00:16:20,025 --> 00:16:22,823
Why? What for?
You didn't notice
279
00:16:22,825 --> 00:16:26,943
anything...unusual about
the barn?
280
00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:28,423
The barn?
281
00:16:28,425 --> 00:16:30,623
No. OK.
282
00:16:30,625 --> 00:16:32,343
Why?
283
00:16:32,345 --> 00:16:35,743
Just...when you come back,
284
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:39,223
see if you can spot anything.
285
00:16:39,225 --> 00:16:40,943
See if anything catches your eye.
286
00:16:40,945 --> 00:16:43,865
Am I getting any clues?
No. No, I'll, er...
287
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:46,863
I'll leave it with you.
288
00:16:46,865 --> 00:16:48,465
What are you on about?
289
00:16:55,625 --> 00:16:58,545
You do realise this could be worth
a lot of money, don't you?
290
00:17:01,265 --> 00:17:02,663
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
291
00:17:02,665 --> 00:17:05,463
I've no idea who they are,
them two lasses.
292
00:17:05,465 --> 00:17:08,583
They just latched on to me
in Hong Kong.
293
00:17:08,585 --> 00:17:10,385
But they're pleasant enough.
294
00:17:11,985 --> 00:17:14,463
Although one of them talks all
the time.
295
00:17:14,465 --> 00:17:16,983
HE CHUCKLES
And the other one's a bit quiet.
296
00:17:16,985 --> 00:17:18,783
But they...
297
00:17:18,785 --> 00:17:20,465
They were very helpful.
298
00:17:22,185 --> 00:17:23,543
Let's go for a pint!
299
00:17:23,545 --> 00:17:24,903
A pint? Sure!
300
00:17:24,905 --> 00:17:28,183
Shall we call the others
to come and join us?
301
00:17:28,185 --> 00:17:29,863
No. Just you and me.
302
00:17:29,865 --> 00:17:31,903
Somewhere nice.
303
00:17:31,905 --> 00:17:33,585
Somewhere quiet.
304
00:17:34,945 --> 00:17:36,225
Sure.
305
00:17:49,745 --> 00:17:51,623
Is this near Scotland?
306
00:17:51,625 --> 00:17:55,305
Well...relative to New Zealand
it is, yeah.
307
00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:58,063
What?
308
00:17:58,065 --> 00:18:01,223
You can probably get to
Edinburgh from Leeds
309
00:18:01,225 --> 00:18:02,623
in a couple of hours on a train.
310
00:18:02,625 --> 00:18:05,943
We could drop you in Leeds,
if you want, at the station.
311
00:18:05,945 --> 00:18:07,463
They haven't got their bags.
312
00:18:07,465 --> 00:18:10,703
Well, whose bloody idea was that?
313
00:18:10,705 --> 00:18:12,263
Logistics!
314
00:18:12,265 --> 00:18:14,103
You saw how full the boot was.
315
00:18:14,105 --> 00:18:15,703
Oh, we'll do here first!
316
00:18:15,705 --> 00:18:18,543
What are the top five things to
do in Yorkshire?
317
00:18:18,545 --> 00:18:20,903
Like...in a cultural way.
Oh! Well...
318
00:18:20,905 --> 00:18:25,223
You know what we're world
famous for round by us?
319
00:18:25,225 --> 00:18:27,705
What? The Bronte sisters.
320
00:18:29,705 --> 00:18:31,063
Are they...?
321
00:18:31,065 --> 00:18:32,503
Is that...?
322
00:18:32,505 --> 00:18:34,423
Is that, like, erm...? What is that?
323
00:18:34,425 --> 00:18:37,023
Oh, the Bronte sisters!
324
00:18:37,025 --> 00:18:39,223
You know, they wrote novels...
325
00:18:39,225 --> 00:18:43,663
..walking round a table
at the parsonage in Haworth.
326
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:47,143
The Bronte sisters.
Charlotte and Emily and...
327
00:18:47,145 --> 00:18:48,583
..the other one.
328
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:50,903
And Branwell.
No, he was the brother.
329
00:18:50,905 --> 00:18:53,703
Yes, I know he was the brother.
You've heard of them?
330
00:18:53,705 --> 00:18:56,343
They wrote Jane Eyre
and Wuthering Heights
331
00:18:56,345 --> 00:18:58,183
before they died.
332
00:18:58,185 --> 00:19:00,383
What else did they write?
333
00:19:00,385 --> 00:19:02,743
The Turn Of The Shrew...Screw.
334
00:19:02,745 --> 00:19:04,543
The... What is it?
335
00:19:04,545 --> 00:19:07,183
The Taming Of The...
The Tenant Of Wildfell Hall.
336
00:19:07,185 --> 00:19:09,943
No, that's that other one.
The other fella.
337
00:19:09,945 --> 00:19:11,063
What other fella?
338
00:19:11,065 --> 00:19:13,063
The Woman In White.
339
00:19:13,065 --> 00:19:14,503
No, that's Wilkie Collins.
340
00:19:14,505 --> 00:19:16,263
What is?
The Woman In White.
341
00:19:16,265 --> 00:19:19,143
Well, who am I thinking
about, then? Which one?
342
00:19:19,145 --> 00:19:22,343
Which fella wrote that other
one? That other one I said.
343
00:19:22,345 --> 00:19:23,823
The Taming Of The Shrew
is Shakespeare.
344
00:19:23,825 --> 00:19:26,103
The Turn Of The Screw is
Henry...um...
345
00:19:26,105 --> 00:19:27,943
Henry...
346
00:19:27,945 --> 00:19:30,183
What's his name?
He's really famous.
347
00:19:30,185 --> 00:19:32,463
The Bostonians,
Washington Square.
348
00:19:32,465 --> 00:19:35,623
What's his...? Henry...
VIII?
349
00:19:35,625 --> 00:19:37,063
James!
350
00:19:37,065 --> 00:19:38,545
It's Henry James!
351
00:19:39,825 --> 00:19:42,783
You can't not have
heard of the Bronte sisters,
352
00:19:42,785 --> 00:19:44,945
even in New Zealand.
353
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:32,985
It's good, innit?
354
00:20:45,465 --> 00:20:47,463
Oh, I dream about this.
355
00:20:47,465 --> 00:20:49,025
There you go.
356
00:20:50,065 --> 00:20:52,943
It's what gets me to sleep at
night.
357
00:20:52,945 --> 00:20:54,463
A Yorkshire pint
358
00:20:54,465 --> 00:20:55,823
in a Yorkshire pub
359
00:20:55,825 --> 00:20:57,103
on a Yorkshire hillside.
360
00:20:57,105 --> 00:20:58,385
BOTH: Cheers.
361
00:21:01,065 --> 00:21:03,143
You know we've been worried
about you, don't you?
362
00:21:03,145 --> 00:21:06,183
Nadine rang.
Oh, bugger Nadine!
363
00:21:06,185 --> 00:21:08,423
She's a bloody nuisance.
Oh, is she?
364
00:21:08,425 --> 00:21:09,823
And she tells lies.
365
00:21:09,825 --> 00:21:11,263
They all do.
366
00:21:11,265 --> 00:21:12,943
She said you'd sold the house.
367
00:21:12,945 --> 00:21:15,743
What else did she tell you?
Well, just that.
368
00:21:15,745 --> 00:21:20,823
Well, that you'd, er,
fallen out with 'em all.
369
00:21:20,825 --> 00:21:22,783
She didn't say why.
370
00:21:22,785 --> 00:21:24,183
PHONE BEEPS
371
00:21:24,185 --> 00:21:26,103
Ooh.
372
00:21:26,105 --> 00:21:30,383
Oh! Well, there you go.
I've got a job! You have?
373
00:21:30,385 --> 00:21:32,703
Yeah...
My interview was successful.
374
00:21:32,705 --> 00:21:34,463
Doing what?
375
00:21:34,465 --> 00:21:37,743
I've got to go on an induction
course.
376
00:21:37,745 --> 00:21:39,943
Monday morning, 9am.
377
00:21:39,945 --> 00:21:41,905
Four hours!
378
00:21:43,185 --> 00:21:46,623
Smart, comfortable clothes,
comfortable shoes.
379
00:21:46,625 --> 00:21:49,343
Um, checkout assistant
380
00:21:49,345 --> 00:21:51,063
in, um, a supermarket.
381
00:21:51,065 --> 00:21:52,943
What are you doing that for?
382
00:21:52,945 --> 00:21:56,423
Then I go straight on to a shift
in the afternoon. Hmm?
383
00:21:56,425 --> 00:21:57,825
Fun.
384
00:21:59,225 --> 00:22:00,583
We must get some champagne!
385
00:22:00,585 --> 00:22:02,943
Champagne? Yeah, I want to
stop off somewhere,
386
00:22:02,945 --> 00:22:04,703
buy some champagne to celebrate.
387
00:22:04,705 --> 00:22:06,063
My new job?
388
00:22:06,065 --> 00:22:08,383
No, not your bloody job!
389
00:22:08,385 --> 00:22:12,063
What do you need a bloody
job for at your age? No.
390
00:22:12,065 --> 00:22:13,745
Me being here!
391
00:22:15,265 --> 00:22:17,983
And, er, Bovril!
392
00:22:17,985 --> 00:22:20,543
Who?
We must get some Bovril.
393
00:22:20,545 --> 00:22:22,783
You can't get Bovril
in New Zealand.
394
00:22:22,785 --> 00:22:24,065
Oh.
395
00:22:26,545 --> 00:22:30,383
So, what did you all fall out
about?
396
00:22:30,385 --> 00:22:33,143
Oh, it's long and boring.
397
00:22:33,145 --> 00:22:34,543
I'm not going anywhere.
398
00:22:34,545 --> 00:22:36,663
Well, you know what kids are
like.
399
00:22:36,665 --> 00:22:39,063
Always looking for hand-outs,
400
00:22:39,065 --> 00:22:40,825
even when they're in their 50s.
401
00:22:42,425 --> 00:22:45,223
So I've... I've told them all,
they can...
402
00:22:45,225 --> 00:22:47,103
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
..do one.
403
00:22:47,105 --> 00:22:48,303
Oh...
404
00:22:48,305 --> 00:22:50,983
They didn't even know
you were on a plane.
405
00:22:50,985 --> 00:22:52,063
No.
406
00:22:52,065 --> 00:22:53,343
Well...
407
00:22:53,345 --> 00:22:56,385
..happen it'll make them
think. Hmm.
408
00:22:58,505 --> 00:23:01,943
You're not short of money,
are you? Me?
409
00:23:01,945 --> 00:23:06,145
HE CHUCKLES
Oh, no, no!
410
00:23:07,585 --> 00:23:09,225
I'm glad to hear it.
411
00:23:18,345 --> 00:23:21,023
CALAMITY: What is that?
412
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,223
What is that?
413
00:23:22,225 --> 00:23:23,903
It's a giraffe!
414
00:23:23,905 --> 00:23:25,703
I'm screaming!
415
00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:28,303
BOTH SCREAM
She's screaming!
416
00:23:28,305 --> 00:23:30,463
We're screaming!
417
00:23:30,465 --> 00:23:33,063
GIRLS SCREAM
How did it get there?
418
00:23:33,065 --> 00:23:35,103
Has somebody done that?
What is it?
419
00:23:35,105 --> 00:23:36,625
GIRLS SCREAM
420
00:23:41,745 --> 00:23:44,383
How could you not see it
when you left?
421
00:23:44,385 --> 00:23:47,183
I...I might not always be
looking in my mirrors.
422
00:23:47,185 --> 00:23:48,663
I might be looking
in the direction of travel,
423
00:23:48,665 --> 00:23:51,783
for instance, in the traditional
manner. It's a Banksy.
424
00:23:51,785 --> 00:23:52,983
I can...
425
00:23:52,985 --> 00:23:54,465
I can see...
426
00:23:57,305 --> 00:23:59,303
How did...?
427
00:23:59,305 --> 00:24:01,143
It wasn't there yesterday.
428
00:24:01,145 --> 00:24:03,303
It definitely wasn't there
yesterday,
429
00:24:03,305 --> 00:24:05,103
because I walked down here,
430
00:24:05,105 --> 00:24:07,783
and everyone came round
last night for supper!
431
00:24:07,785 --> 00:24:11,023
They'd all have seen it.
Somebody would have seen that!
432
00:24:11,025 --> 00:24:14,303
Well, he must've done it in the
night. I mean, that's what he does!
433
00:24:14,305 --> 00:24:15,465
Like, by stealth!
434
00:24:16,745 --> 00:24:19,145
It'll be worth millions.
435
00:24:28,145 --> 00:24:30,943
You've got more room than me.
436
00:24:30,945 --> 00:24:34,023
No. I haven't. I've got one guest
bedroom, the same as you.
437
00:24:34,025 --> 00:24:35,623
You've got two, in fact.
438
00:24:35,625 --> 00:24:37,783
But Ted's in one of them!
439
00:24:37,785 --> 00:24:41,303
They can share, they're kids.
I'm sorry.
440
00:24:41,305 --> 00:24:45,063
Gillian's dropped your bags
off, girls! Thanks!
441
00:24:45,065 --> 00:24:48,743
Where are Alan and Ted? I thought
they'd be back sooner than us.
442
00:24:48,745 --> 00:24:51,783
Right...I'm off.
443
00:24:51,785 --> 00:24:54,783
You're better with younger
people than me.
444
00:24:54,785 --> 00:24:57,303
You're used to them.
You know how to talk to them!
445
00:24:57,305 --> 00:24:59,343
Yes, all week! This is my weekend.
446
00:24:59,345 --> 00:25:01,423
Yes, but... No!
447
00:25:01,425 --> 00:25:04,063
So, are we staying here,
Celia, or...?
448
00:25:04,065 --> 00:25:07,143
Well, Caroline's got more
room than me, really.
449
00:25:07,145 --> 00:25:09,663
You know, I'd be delighted
any other time,
450
00:25:09,665 --> 00:25:11,743
except I've got a guest
coming this evening
451
00:25:11,745 --> 00:25:12,983
and I still haven't started
cooking,
452
00:25:12,985 --> 00:25:15,183
then I've got to collect Flora
from...
453
00:25:15,185 --> 00:25:17,903
PHONE RINGS, SHE SIGHS
454
00:25:17,905 --> 00:25:19,623
Gillian, hello.
455
00:25:19,625 --> 00:25:21,063
Where are you? Yeah, I'm coming.
456
00:25:21,065 --> 00:25:22,383
I'm just at my mother's. Why?
457
00:25:22,385 --> 00:25:23,665
I...
458
00:25:24,625 --> 00:25:25,983
..need you.
459
00:25:25,985 --> 00:25:27,463
Oh.
460
00:25:27,465 --> 00:25:28,705
OK.
461
00:25:29,785 --> 00:25:31,025
I'll be ten minutes.
462
00:25:34,105 --> 00:25:36,703
Right! I'm off.
463
00:25:36,705 --> 00:25:38,903
Good luck!
464
00:25:38,905 --> 00:25:40,743
Have fun. I'll, erm...
465
00:25:40,745 --> 00:25:42,305
..tomorrow!
466
00:25:46,785 --> 00:25:48,225
Right.
467
00:25:50,425 --> 00:25:53,583
How long are you stopping,
by the way?
468
00:25:53,585 --> 00:25:56,663
What? Oh! Oh! Oh, yeah,
that's it.
469
00:25:56,665 --> 00:25:58,863
That's what I wanted to talk to
you about.
470
00:25:58,865 --> 00:26:00,223
I'm not going back.
471
00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:02,983
I bought a one-way ticket.
472
00:26:02,985 --> 00:26:04,343
Have you told anyone?
473
00:26:04,345 --> 00:26:06,983
Mr Buttershaw? Hello.
474
00:26:06,985 --> 00:26:08,903
I thought it was you!
475
00:26:08,905 --> 00:26:10,345
How did you get on with the lad?
476
00:26:11,385 --> 00:26:13,303
Oh, him. Yeah. Yeah.
477
00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:14,943
He ran off.
478
00:26:14,945 --> 00:26:16,903
I said he would.
I told you not to bother.
479
00:26:16,905 --> 00:26:18,423
I knocked on a door.
480
00:26:18,425 --> 00:26:19,983
He said it was where he lived.
481
00:26:19,985 --> 00:26:21,743
It wasn't. Who?
482
00:26:21,745 --> 00:26:24,223
Oh, this little kiddy.
483
00:26:24,225 --> 00:26:25,903
Shoplifting.
484
00:26:25,905 --> 00:26:27,423
The day I came for my interview.
485
00:26:27,425 --> 00:26:30,543
He's feral. Oh... No, seriously.
486
00:26:30,545 --> 00:26:32,983
Lives in a foster home up
Norland - he's supposed to -
487
00:26:32,985 --> 00:26:35,263
then he runs off,
lives in folk's sheds.
488
00:26:35,265 --> 00:26:37,263
Oh... No, I'm serious.
489
00:26:37,265 --> 00:26:39,063
They keep copping him, taking him
back and then he'll run off again.
490
00:26:39,065 --> 00:26:40,785
Good for him. It's what I'd do.
491
00:26:41,985 --> 00:26:45,863
My brother. Ted. He's just
flown in from New Zealand.
492
00:26:45,865 --> 00:26:48,183
This is David.
493
00:26:48,185 --> 00:26:49,823
He works here.
494
00:26:49,825 --> 00:26:51,183
How do?
495
00:26:51,185 --> 00:26:54,143
Well, did you get your tetanus?
496
00:26:54,145 --> 00:26:55,743
Nah. Didn't break the skin.
497
00:26:55,745 --> 00:26:58,663
Oh... I'm starting - Monday.
498
00:26:58,665 --> 00:26:59,823
Ah!
499
00:26:59,825 --> 00:27:02,903
I've got my induction day.
Well, very good.
500
00:27:02,905 --> 00:27:05,665
Well, I might be seeing you
then. Aye. Keep smiling.
501
00:27:07,145 --> 00:27:10,063
When you say you're stopping,
what do...what do you...
502
00:27:10,065 --> 00:27:11,703
Oh-ho! ..mean?
503
00:27:11,705 --> 00:27:13,223
85 quid!
HE CHUCKLES
504
00:27:13,225 --> 00:27:14,863
Must be good stuff.
505
00:27:14,865 --> 00:27:17,223
Do Nadine and the others know?
506
00:27:17,225 --> 00:27:21,663
I mean, I was born here
and I shall die here.
507
00:27:21,665 --> 00:27:24,905
I'm going to get some flowers
for Celia.
508
00:27:27,145 --> 00:27:28,265
HE SIGHS
509
00:27:30,385 --> 00:27:32,703
Look, I've said I'm sorry,
and I am sorry!
510
00:27:32,705 --> 00:27:35,143
I just thought it would be a
shame, you know,
511
00:27:35,145 --> 00:27:36,783
to waste a good black eye,
that's all.
512
00:27:36,785 --> 00:27:39,423
So what? Oh, come on,
Angus baby, I need you
513
00:27:39,425 --> 00:27:41,903
to do this thing over at Gillian's.
You'll have to give me some
514
00:27:41,905 --> 00:27:44,023
petrol money if we're going all
the way over there.
515
00:27:44,025 --> 00:27:46,105
Yeah, surely will.
516
00:27:50,785 --> 00:27:51,943
Crap.
517
00:27:51,945 --> 00:27:53,583
How much do you want?
518
00:27:53,585 --> 00:27:54,823
30.
519
00:27:54,825 --> 00:27:56,825
WATER BUBBLES
520
00:28:07,105 --> 00:28:08,705
RINGING TONE
521
00:28:11,425 --> 00:28:13,543
John! Caroline! Hi.
522
00:28:13,545 --> 00:28:14,783
Hi. How are you?
523
00:28:14,785 --> 00:28:16,943
I'm fine. How are you?
Good! Good!
524
00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:20,623
I just wanted to say thank you
for dinner again
525
00:28:20,625 --> 00:28:24,183
the other night. It was...
Well, it was delightful,
526
00:28:24,185 --> 00:28:27,063
not having seen you for so
long. What can I do for you?
527
00:28:27,065 --> 00:28:28,985
Oh, just...
528
00:28:30,585 --> 00:28:32,303
..Judith's asked me to marry her.
529
00:28:32,305 --> 00:28:33,505
Oh, shit!
530
00:28:34,825 --> 00:28:38,983
Are you going to?
Can I come over? Why? To talk.
531
00:28:38,985 --> 00:28:41,863
Not today, no,
I'm just collecting Flora,
532
00:28:41,865 --> 00:28:43,903
and then I've got someone
coming over for dinner. Who?
533
00:28:43,905 --> 00:28:46,103
No-one. It's just my head of
English.
534
00:28:46,105 --> 00:28:47,263
Is he...?
535
00:28:47,265 --> 00:28:48,783
Is he...
536
00:28:48,785 --> 00:28:50,303
..a woman?
537
00:28:50,305 --> 00:28:52,663
Yeah. Yeah, he is. A woman.
538
00:28:52,665 --> 00:28:53,985
Yup.
539
00:28:55,585 --> 00:28:57,903
I don't want to marry her.
540
00:28:57,905 --> 00:28:59,343
I don't think it's a good idea.
541
00:28:59,345 --> 00:29:01,303
No. Do you?
542
00:29:01,305 --> 00:29:03,183
No, but it's none of my
business, so there you go.
543
00:29:03,185 --> 00:29:05,023
Thing is...
544
00:29:05,025 --> 00:29:06,383
..I said yes.
545
00:29:06,385 --> 00:29:07,623
OK.
546
00:29:07,625 --> 00:29:08,743
It was...
547
00:29:08,745 --> 00:29:10,743
Well, it was awkward.
I couldn't say no.
548
00:29:10,745 --> 00:29:12,223
I should've done, but I didn't.
549
00:29:12,225 --> 00:29:14,903
And I couldn't say,
"Can I think about it?"
550
00:29:14,905 --> 00:29:16,583
because that sounds like no.
551
00:29:16,585 --> 00:29:17,865
And you see...
552
00:29:18,985 --> 00:29:20,343
..she's...
553
00:29:20,345 --> 00:29:24,903
It's her health, her mental health,
it's so delicate,
554
00:29:24,905 --> 00:29:27,903
so fragile, and I don't want her
to fall off the wagon again.
555
00:29:27,905 --> 00:29:29,463
I just...
556
00:29:29,465 --> 00:29:31,023
..don't want to marry her.
557
00:29:31,025 --> 00:29:32,543
Well, no. No. No!
558
00:29:32,545 --> 00:29:34,823
So this person you're seeing,
559
00:29:34,825 --> 00:29:36,543
this head of English,
560
00:29:36,545 --> 00:29:40,103
is she...? Is that...?
Are you...?
561
00:29:40,105 --> 00:29:41,663
Er, no. No. No, she's...
562
00:29:41,665 --> 00:29:43,383
We're just, um...
563
00:29:43,385 --> 00:29:44,743
Yeah.
564
00:29:44,745 --> 00:29:46,943
I mean, she's...she's... Yeah.
565
00:29:46,945 --> 00:29:49,743
But no. It's not... She's not...
566
00:29:49,745 --> 00:29:52,743
I wish I was still married to
you. There! I've said it.
567
00:29:52,745 --> 00:29:54,103
It's out there.
568
00:29:54,105 --> 00:29:55,583
Hmm.
569
00:29:55,585 --> 00:29:57,423
Caroline?
570
00:29:57,425 --> 00:29:59,423
Jesus Christ!
571
00:29:59,425 --> 00:30:03,023
I know! I know, I know, I get that
completely,
572
00:30:03,025 --> 00:30:06,263
but, look, I don't think you can
be completely gay
573
00:30:06,265 --> 00:30:11,103
because we had such a good life
together. We get each other.
574
00:30:11,105 --> 00:30:13,143
We're on the same wavelength.
Everyone else I know is...
575
00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:15,623
John... ..so shallow and
empty and dull...
576
00:30:15,625 --> 00:30:18,263
John! ..compared to you!
John, I'm going to have to go.
577
00:30:18,265 --> 00:30:19,503
Why? No, don't.
578
00:30:19,505 --> 00:30:22,503
I-I-I talk too much, I know.
I'm sorry. I...
579
00:30:22,505 --> 00:30:24,223
What did you just say?
580
00:30:24,225 --> 00:30:25,503
When?
581
00:30:25,505 --> 00:30:28,183
Then, just then, all that.
Sorry, I wasn't listening.
582
00:30:28,185 --> 00:30:29,543
Well, I...
583
00:30:29,545 --> 00:30:30,903
Can I ring you back?
584
00:30:30,905 --> 00:30:33,063
Yes! Yes, sure. When?
585
00:30:33,065 --> 00:30:34,703
It might not be today.
586
00:30:34,705 --> 00:30:36,145
CALL ENDS
587
00:30:39,625 --> 00:30:41,185
Well, that went well.
588
00:30:45,425 --> 00:30:46,863
Caroline's here.
589
00:30:46,865 --> 00:30:48,823
Why's your mum so weird
about the barn?
590
00:30:48,825 --> 00:30:51,983
She should be laughing her
socks off, and look at her.
591
00:30:51,985 --> 00:30:53,145
Oh...
592
00:30:54,345 --> 00:30:57,023
It's cos it's where me dad
killed himself.
593
00:30:57,025 --> 00:30:58,745
Oh, God.
594
00:31:00,185 --> 00:31:02,985
I... I didn't know
that's where it was.
595
00:31:04,585 --> 00:31:06,305
Sorry.
596
00:31:14,505 --> 00:31:16,905
Oh...
597
00:31:18,305 --> 00:31:20,303
Is it real?
598
00:31:20,305 --> 00:31:21,783
People are going to come
gawping, aren't they?
599
00:31:21,785 --> 00:31:23,303
They're going
to come poking about.
600
00:31:23,305 --> 00:31:24,983
It's going to be on
the f-f...news,
601
00:31:24,985 --> 00:31:28,023
I mean, whether it's real or
not. And what does it even mean?
602
00:31:28,025 --> 00:31:29,543
Giraffe?
603
00:31:29,545 --> 00:31:30,943
Giraffe!
604
00:31:30,945 --> 00:31:33,263
On a barn. On a farm?
605
00:31:33,265 --> 00:31:35,063
What? What?
606
00:31:35,065 --> 00:31:37,343
Oh, it'll be a metaphor.
For what?
607
00:31:37,345 --> 00:31:40,343
Well, it's something about the
industrialisation of farm animals
608
00:31:40,345 --> 00:31:42,343
or...or...in the modern world,
609
00:31:42,345 --> 00:31:45,383
or the exploitation of...
I'm organic! Nearly.
610
00:31:45,385 --> 00:31:47,943
I'm nice! My sheep are happy!
Ask them!
611
00:31:47,945 --> 00:31:49,623
I'm not exploiting anybody!
612
00:31:49,625 --> 00:31:52,303
I ought to be ringing 99 f-f...9!
613
00:31:52,305 --> 00:31:55,103
It's not personal.
It can't be, can it? It's just...
614
00:31:55,105 --> 00:31:56,865
Yeah, well, do some research!
615
00:31:58,145 --> 00:32:01,145
This is vandalism!
Fucking painters!
616
00:32:02,585 --> 00:32:05,743
Well, David Hockney will be
at it next. Gauguin, one o' them.
617
00:32:05,745 --> 00:32:07,623
Cannelloni!
He can come and have a go.
618
00:32:07,625 --> 00:32:08,943
Canaletto.
619
00:32:08,945 --> 00:32:10,703
Any of 'em. Twats.
620
00:32:10,705 --> 00:32:13,303
They need to leave people alone.
621
00:32:13,305 --> 00:32:14,783
Look, it's not... It's not, um...
622
00:32:14,785 --> 00:32:16,863
I hate that barn! I know.
623
00:32:16,865 --> 00:32:18,983
It's alive - that barn
has a mind of its own.
624
00:32:18,985 --> 00:32:21,783
I've told you before. No.
It doesn't, Gillian. He's in there.
625
00:32:21,785 --> 00:32:23,823
Eddie, not Banksy.
626
00:32:23,825 --> 00:32:26,783
He's in there.
Look, this could be a blessing.
627
00:32:26,785 --> 00:32:29,823
I know it's weird, but it could be
worth a lot of money.
628
00:32:29,825 --> 00:32:31,983
This could pay for your woodworm
and your roof timbers.
629
00:32:31,985 --> 00:32:34,543
Nothing good will ever come
out of that barn, Caroline.
630
00:32:34,545 --> 00:32:37,105
Oh, you don't know that.
This could be a turning point.
631
00:32:40,065 --> 00:32:41,823
Listen, I can't stay,
I've got to start cooking.
632
00:32:41,825 --> 00:32:44,663
Oh, God, you've got
your girlfriend coming.
633
00:32:44,665 --> 00:32:46,423
You've got to calm down.
I know it stirs things up,
634
00:32:46,425 --> 00:32:48,823
I know it does your head in,
but...
635
00:32:48,825 --> 00:32:50,263
..she's not my girlfriend.
636
00:32:50,265 --> 00:32:53,103
Flora! Come on!
637
00:32:53,105 --> 00:32:54,903
Bye. See you tomorrow!
638
00:32:54,905 --> 00:32:57,583
I'm at the end of the phone.
OK? Yeah. Yeah.
639
00:32:57,585 --> 00:32:58,705
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
640
00:33:01,345 --> 00:33:02,823
How did they get up there?
641
00:33:02,825 --> 00:33:06,465
Bye. See you, Auntie Gillian.
Yeah.
642
00:33:09,265 --> 00:33:11,225
Yo.
643
00:33:13,625 --> 00:33:16,303
Lawrence! Is your m...?
Hi, Angus.
644
00:33:16,305 --> 00:33:17,463
Is your mother see...?
645
00:33:17,465 --> 00:33:19,063
Ooh, Popular!
Can you lend me 30 squids?
646
00:33:19,065 --> 00:33:20,823
No, sorry. It's for petrol, please.
647
00:33:20,825 --> 00:33:22,945
Not got any cash on me, sorry.
648
00:33:25,385 --> 00:33:27,543
Sorry, just out of interest,
649
00:33:27,545 --> 00:33:29,223
is your mother seeing someone?
650
00:33:29,225 --> 00:33:30,745
No. Not that I know of.
651
00:33:31,945 --> 00:33:33,505
And anyway, what if she was?
652
00:33:46,105 --> 00:33:47,865
TV ON
653
00:33:49,425 --> 00:33:51,343
HE SNORES
654
00:33:51,345 --> 00:33:54,383
I was beginning to wonder
where the hell you'd got to!
655
00:33:54,385 --> 00:33:57,063
Well, yeah, he wanted a pint,
656
00:33:57,065 --> 00:33:58,943
and some Bovril, so...
HE CHUCKLES
657
00:33:58,945 --> 00:34:01,103
You have got a mobile phone.
658
00:34:01,105 --> 00:34:03,503
Yes. I never think.
659
00:34:03,505 --> 00:34:06,225
Have you learnt anything?
Hmm? Cos I have.
660
00:34:07,345 --> 00:34:09,423
They're nurses, them two.
661
00:34:09,425 --> 00:34:11,303
So, not as daft as they look.
662
00:34:11,305 --> 00:34:13,583
Nurses? On holiday.
663
00:34:13,585 --> 00:34:15,625
They've taken three months
off to travel.
664
00:34:16,825 --> 00:34:19,703
And they did just bump into
him in Hong Kong,
665
00:34:19,705 --> 00:34:22,463
but then they were having
to look after him.
666
00:34:22,465 --> 00:34:24,623
They reckon he'd been in a pickle
667
00:34:24,625 --> 00:34:27,143
trying to fathom Hong Kong on his
own.
668
00:34:27,145 --> 00:34:30,463
Anyway, I've said
they can stop a few nights,
669
00:34:30,465 --> 00:34:33,223
because they've obviously
been very kind to him.
670
00:34:33,225 --> 00:34:37,223
But that's it. Then we've got Martin
starting on the kitchen next week.
671
00:34:37,225 --> 00:34:39,663
And I can't be doing
with a houseful.
672
00:34:39,665 --> 00:34:42,463
Well, he says
he's not going back. Eh?
673
00:34:42,465 --> 00:34:45,863
Yeah, he says he's stopping.
Where? Here. Here?
674
00:34:45,865 --> 00:34:48,583
Well, I assume he's going to
buy himself a little house.
675
00:34:48,585 --> 00:34:51,903
If it's going to be
a permanent arrangement.
676
00:34:51,905 --> 00:34:53,183
I mean, he can't be short,
677
00:34:53,185 --> 00:34:56,543
spending £85 on a bottle of
champagne.
678
00:34:56,545 --> 00:34:58,503
And where is he going to be
stopping
679
00:34:58,505 --> 00:35:01,863
until he buys this little
house? Here?
680
00:35:01,865 --> 00:35:05,983
He sounds as if he's fallen out
with Nadine and everybody,
681
00:35:05,985 --> 00:35:09,343
cos they were tapping money off
him - trying to -
682
00:35:09,345 --> 00:35:10,943
after he'd sold his house.
683
00:35:10,945 --> 00:35:12,943
Well, where was he living
after he sold his house?
684
00:35:12,945 --> 00:35:13,983
With her.
685
00:35:13,985 --> 00:35:16,303
For a bit. Then I think he went
to their Simon
686
00:35:16,305 --> 00:35:19,263
for a month or two,
and then to one of the others.
687
00:35:19,265 --> 00:35:21,343
And then he rented a little flat.
688
00:35:21,345 --> 00:35:24,905
Rented? Why didn't he buy a
house there? I don't know.
689
00:35:26,145 --> 00:35:32,223
He'll not want to be stopping here
for any length of time, surely.
690
00:35:32,225 --> 00:35:34,385
He's been over there too long,
surely.
691
00:35:35,425 --> 00:35:38,023
I mean, his life's there,
not here.
692
00:35:38,025 --> 00:35:39,503
He seems quite adamant.
693
00:35:39,505 --> 00:35:42,983
He'll be thinking
that the grass is greener.
694
00:35:42,985 --> 00:35:45,503
Well, I think he'll be
disillusioned.
695
00:35:45,505 --> 00:35:48,865
He's brought Alice's ashes
back with him.
696
00:35:50,225 --> 00:35:53,665
Cor, she's been dead ten years.
697
00:35:54,705 --> 00:35:57,063
Has he not scattered 'em
before now?
698
00:35:57,065 --> 00:36:00,023
He says she always wanted to come
back here, so he's brought her.
699
00:36:00,025 --> 00:36:03,543
He says he was born here,
and he'll die here.
700
00:36:03,545 --> 00:36:06,383
And then he wants him and
her to be buried together -
701
00:36:06,385 --> 00:36:09,423
their remains - up Blackley
702
00:36:09,425 --> 00:36:11,903
with me mum and dad,
and her mum and dad,
703
00:36:11,905 --> 00:36:13,865
and her sister.
704
00:36:15,825 --> 00:36:18,143
Oh, and, erm...
705
00:36:18,145 --> 00:36:19,623
What?
706
00:36:19,625 --> 00:36:22,465
I know it's a sensitive subject.
707
00:36:24,145 --> 00:36:25,505
But I've been offered that job.
708
00:36:26,545 --> 00:36:28,105
I start on Monday.
709
00:36:29,825 --> 00:36:32,065
I'm saying nothing.
710
00:36:33,385 --> 00:36:34,825
CUTLERY RATTLES
711
00:36:40,225 --> 00:36:43,505
KNOCK ON DOOR, DOG BARKS
712
00:36:47,065 --> 00:36:49,983
Ooh! It's the Mothership. I didn't
know you were coming!
713
00:36:49,985 --> 00:36:52,343
Yeah, cos I didn't ring an' tell
you, that's why.
714
00:36:52,345 --> 00:36:53,983
Love, light and peace.
715
00:36:53,985 --> 00:36:56,705
What's the matter with your
eye? Erm...
716
00:36:57,985 --> 00:36:59,463
We were drunk.
717
00:36:59,465 --> 00:37:01,623
Mm. Right, well, I've got someone
718
00:37:01,625 --> 00:37:03,143
coming round for dinner.
Smells good.
719
00:37:03,145 --> 00:37:04,703
Yeah, but the thing is, they'll be
here any minute, so...
720
00:37:04,705 --> 00:37:06,303
Oh, don't worry.
We're off over to Gillian's.
721
00:37:06,305 --> 00:37:07,423
We've got all the camping stuff.
722
00:37:07,425 --> 00:37:08,743
Just thought we'd come and say
howdy.
723
00:37:08,745 --> 00:37:11,703
Oh, well, that's very nice.
And can you lend me 30 quid?
724
00:37:11,705 --> 00:37:15,783
No, I can't. I've got no cash on
me. You people are useless.
725
00:37:15,785 --> 00:37:19,143
Hey! Hey, it's the little weirdo
from the planet Zog.
726
00:37:19,145 --> 00:37:22,863
Have you come to read to me? No.
Aw. I like it when you read to me.
727
00:37:22,865 --> 00:37:25,783
It's funnier than when
Mummy does it. Ah!
728
00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:27,143
Er, Ruth's here.
729
00:37:27,145 --> 00:37:30,983
What's he done to his face?
So, Ruth's here now.
730
00:37:30,985 --> 00:37:32,903
So, Angus got in a fight
with an orangutan.
731
00:37:32,905 --> 00:37:36,183
He didn't! Gillian's got a
giraffe! A what?
732
00:37:36,185 --> 00:37:37,985
A real one? Has she?
733
00:37:43,265 --> 00:37:44,503
Hi! Hi!
734
00:37:44,505 --> 00:37:45,863
Come in!
735
00:37:45,865 --> 00:37:47,423
Hi. Hi.
736
00:37:47,425 --> 00:37:48,703
Bye.
737
00:37:48,705 --> 00:37:50,785
Oh, sure.
738
00:37:52,945 --> 00:37:55,263
So this is Lawrence,
my, erm, my...
739
00:37:55,265 --> 00:37:58,223
Well, he was my youngest
until Flora came along.
740
00:37:58,225 --> 00:38:00,263
And then I've got another one
in London. That's William.
741
00:38:00,265 --> 00:38:02,223
He works for a publisher,
he's 24.
742
00:38:02,225 --> 00:38:04,863
Nice.
Judith's publisher, in fact.
743
00:38:04,865 --> 00:38:06,223
And this is Ruth.
744
00:38:06,225 --> 00:38:09,065
And this is Angus. He's...
745
00:38:10,625 --> 00:38:11,663
..got a black eye.
746
00:38:11,665 --> 00:38:13,625
And now they're off camping!
747
00:38:15,505 --> 00:38:18,023
See ya, boss.
748
00:38:18,025 --> 00:38:19,303
Bye.
749
00:38:19,305 --> 00:38:20,663
Bye, Mum. Bye.
750
00:38:20,665 --> 00:38:22,143
Bye. Bye, weirdo.
751
00:38:22,145 --> 00:38:23,343
Can I come?
752
00:38:23,345 --> 00:38:25,263
No. A real giraffe?
753
00:38:25,265 --> 00:38:27,823
No, you'll see when you get
there. Have fun!
754
00:38:27,825 --> 00:38:29,383
And don't irritate Gillian!
755
00:38:29,385 --> 00:38:32,545
She's...not very happy about
the giraffe.
756
00:38:33,585 --> 00:38:35,903
Seriously, someone has a real...?
No, no, no, it's...
757
00:38:35,905 --> 00:38:38,783
Actually, it's probably
not a Banksy.
758
00:38:38,785 --> 00:38:41,823
It's a painting, a mural that's
appeared on her barn wall.
759
00:38:41,825 --> 00:38:42,903
Wow.
760
00:38:42,905 --> 00:38:44,663
Won't be a real one. OK.
761
00:38:44,665 --> 00:38:47,105
Although it does look like one.
762
00:38:49,865 --> 00:38:51,183
These are for you.
763
00:38:51,185 --> 00:38:53,023
Ah.
764
00:38:53,025 --> 00:38:54,785
Thank you. Pleasure.
765
00:38:56,065 --> 00:38:57,825
So this is Flora?
766
00:38:58,945 --> 00:39:01,343
DOG WHIMPERS
But who's this?
767
00:39:01,345 --> 00:39:03,703
Ah, so that's...
768
00:39:03,705 --> 00:39:06,103
Ruth. Yes, that's...
769
00:39:06,105 --> 00:39:08,663
The dog's called Ruth, Ruth.
770
00:39:08,665 --> 00:39:09,903
Ruth?
771
00:39:09,905 --> 00:39:11,663
Sorry, I can explain.
772
00:39:11,665 --> 00:39:13,543
No.
773
00:39:13,545 --> 00:39:15,143
Erm...
774
00:39:15,145 --> 00:39:18,263
Listen, is it all right
if I leave my car here tonight
775
00:39:18,265 --> 00:39:22,345
and get a taxi home and then come
and pick it up tomorrow morning?
776
00:39:23,585 --> 00:39:25,583
It's just then I can have
a couple of glasses of wine
777
00:39:25,585 --> 00:39:27,583
and not worry about it.
778
00:39:27,585 --> 00:39:30,503
Er, yeah, course!
779
00:39:30,505 --> 00:39:33,465
You can stay over, if you like.
We've, erm...
780
00:39:35,145 --> 00:39:37,345
..plenty of room.
781
00:39:48,185 --> 00:39:53,463
Mm. Laura looked up
some wedding venues online.
782
00:39:53,465 --> 00:39:55,823
I mean, we could really go for
it if we wanted to.
783
00:39:55,825 --> 00:39:58,225
We could really push
the boat out.
784
00:39:59,425 --> 00:40:02,023
But I don't know that I wouldn't
like to just get married
785
00:40:02,025 --> 00:40:07,703
in some charmless, nondescript,
threadbare little registry office.
786
00:40:07,705 --> 00:40:08,745
Yes...
787
00:40:10,105 --> 00:40:11,863
Yes. Sure.
788
00:40:11,865 --> 00:40:13,383
Sure.
789
00:40:13,385 --> 00:40:17,943
It isn't like we've got millions of
people to invite, is it?
790
00:40:17,945 --> 00:40:19,385
PHONE BEEPS
791
00:40:25,705 --> 00:40:27,063
What's that?
792
00:40:27,065 --> 00:40:28,105
Oh.
793
00:40:29,185 --> 00:40:30,345
Lawrence.
794
00:40:32,585 --> 00:40:36,743
I just think something small
and discreet
795
00:40:36,745 --> 00:40:38,785
and a bit shit is just...
796
00:40:39,825 --> 00:40:41,343
..more us.
797
00:40:41,345 --> 00:40:42,625
Don't you?
798
00:40:44,545 --> 00:40:45,585
Yeah.
799
00:40:48,945 --> 00:40:53,263
And this is LAADS riding through the
West Riding of Yorkshire,
800
00:40:53,265 --> 00:40:55,583
trying to find Granny's
little gaff.
801
00:40:55,585 --> 00:40:57,143
And what does Riding mean, Angus?
802
00:40:57,145 --> 00:40:59,303
Will you get that out of my
face when I'm concentrating?
803
00:40:59,305 --> 00:41:00,703
Can you drive properly?
804
00:41:00,705 --> 00:41:01,823
This is properly.
805
00:41:01,825 --> 00:41:03,943
Yeah, I need smooth. Whoa!
806
00:41:03,945 --> 00:41:06,823
You nearly went into the
signpost, you fuckin' idiot!
807
00:41:06,825 --> 00:41:08,383
Well, stop being a tit.
808
00:41:08,385 --> 00:41:10,343
You're a tit. You're a tit.
809
00:41:10,345 --> 00:41:12,303
Which one is it?
Which one is what?
810
00:41:12,305 --> 00:41:14,223
House! Which house?
I don't know. It's the one
811
00:41:14,225 --> 00:41:15,383
with their car on the drive,
812
00:41:15,385 --> 00:41:17,623
I guess. Tell everyone
what Riding means, Angus.
813
00:41:17,625 --> 00:41:19,983
A third. It means a third.
814
00:41:19,985 --> 00:41:21,823
North, East, West.
815
00:41:21,825 --> 00:41:23,545
No South.
816
00:41:24,665 --> 00:41:25,863
Can you do it like you care?
817
00:41:25,865 --> 00:41:27,743
I don't care. It's not funny.
818
00:41:27,745 --> 00:41:28,863
Well, make it funny!
819
00:41:28,865 --> 00:41:30,783
It's not funny, it's not
interesting.
820
00:41:30,785 --> 00:41:32,583
West Riding.
821
00:41:32,585 --> 00:41:36,423
The West Riding of Yorkshire.
Oooh, it's this one!
822
00:41:36,425 --> 00:41:37,583
TYRES SQUEAL
823
00:41:37,585 --> 00:41:39,985
Mind the Lexus!
824
00:41:43,105 --> 00:41:44,903
Did you get that,
did you film that?
825
00:41:44,905 --> 00:41:46,425
That was good.
826
00:41:47,785 --> 00:41:49,105
Piss.
827
00:41:51,545 --> 00:41:54,423
CELIA: £30? Course you can,
chicken.
828
00:41:54,425 --> 00:41:56,025
Where have I put my purse?
829
00:42:01,305 --> 00:42:02,943
Well, where are you going
camping, lads?
830
00:42:02,945 --> 00:42:03,983
BOTH: Gillian's.
831
00:42:03,985 --> 00:42:05,025
Ah!
832
00:42:06,145 --> 00:42:07,983
There we are. Is that enough?
833
00:42:07,985 --> 00:42:09,703
Would you like a bit more?
No, Gran.
834
00:42:09,705 --> 00:42:13,945
No, go on, then, just....
How big's your tint?
835
00:42:17,945 --> 00:42:21,703
Oh, our tent! Our tent is,
erm...
836
00:42:21,705 --> 00:42:22,903
Big.
837
00:42:22,905 --> 00:42:24,865
It's big.
838
00:42:31,625 --> 00:42:35,103
My stars! Look at that!
What?
839
00:42:35,105 --> 00:42:36,263
Is that a what's-it?
840
00:42:36,265 --> 00:42:38,383
A what?
A thingy! That bloke.
841
00:42:38,385 --> 00:42:40,703
Oh, my God! What? What are you
looking at?
842
00:42:40,705 --> 00:42:42,943
Holy mole shit! This is one for
Instagram.
843
00:42:42,945 --> 00:42:43,983
BRAKES ENGAGE
844
00:42:43,985 --> 00:42:46,743
MIA AND ALYSSA SCREAM
Eyes on the road!
845
00:42:46,745 --> 00:42:48,303
MIA AND ALYSSA LAUGH
CAMERA CLICKS
846
00:42:48,305 --> 00:42:50,463
And they were both 75?
847
00:42:50,465 --> 00:42:52,943
They hadn't seen each other
for nearly 60 years.
848
00:42:52,945 --> 00:42:55,143
It was very romantic.
849
00:42:55,145 --> 00:42:57,063
Oh, there's hope for us all.
850
00:42:57,065 --> 00:42:58,743
Except the reality,
851
00:42:58,745 --> 00:43:00,463
when you haven't seen
anyone for that long,
852
00:43:00,465 --> 00:43:03,303
is that you don't really know
them. And what's become apparent
853
00:43:03,305 --> 00:43:04,703
is that they have very different
854
00:43:04,705 --> 00:43:07,183
views on things
sometimes and...
855
00:43:07,185 --> 00:43:08,863
Oh, I don't know.
856
00:43:08,865 --> 00:43:11,983
It was kind of funny to start
with, him with his Guardian
857
00:43:11,985 --> 00:43:14,223
and her with her Daily Mail.
858
00:43:14,225 --> 00:43:15,983
Can I...?
859
00:43:15,985 --> 00:43:17,503
Oh, sure, I'll get another one.
860
00:43:17,505 --> 00:43:19,423
It's like this morning.
861
00:43:19,425 --> 00:43:22,303
So my mother is worried
that he's fed up with her.
862
00:43:22,305 --> 00:43:26,143
And I'm all,
"Oh, Alan? Surely not!"
863
00:43:26,145 --> 00:43:29,863
Because we've all bought into
how marvellous it all is
864
00:43:29,865 --> 00:43:32,463
that two elderly people can fall in
love again after all this time,
865
00:43:32,465 --> 00:43:35,505
and yet the reality, seven
years on, is that...
866
00:43:36,705 --> 00:43:38,423
Well, for instance,
867
00:43:38,425 --> 00:43:40,183
he can't understand why anyone
868
00:43:40,185 --> 00:43:42,743
would want to spend £20,000 on
a new kitchen.
869
00:43:42,745 --> 00:43:44,263
And she can't understand
870
00:43:44,265 --> 00:43:47,983
why anyone would want to
spend anything less.
871
00:43:47,985 --> 00:43:50,383
Would you like to sit somewhere
more comfortable?
872
00:43:50,385 --> 00:43:51,665
Sure.
873
00:43:52,705 --> 00:43:55,343
But he goes along with it,
kind of because he has to,
874
00:43:55,345 --> 00:43:57,623
because - let's not mince words -
875
00:43:57,625 --> 00:44:01,183
she is a force to be reckoned
with, my mother.
876
00:44:01,185 --> 00:44:03,143
But sometimes I look at him,
877
00:44:03,145 --> 00:44:05,023
and he just looks...
878
00:44:05,025 --> 00:44:06,823
..bewildered
879
00:44:06,825 --> 00:44:09,103
and, erm...
880
00:44:09,105 --> 00:44:10,863
Oh, I don't know.
881
00:44:10,865 --> 00:44:13,185
Maybe sometimes he is fed
up of her.
882
00:44:19,865 --> 00:44:21,823
It'll be jet lag.
883
00:44:21,825 --> 00:44:23,863
Don't you think we should
wake him up
884
00:44:23,865 --> 00:44:25,383
so he can get into bed?
885
00:44:25,385 --> 00:44:27,743
I don't know -
he looks very comfortable.
886
00:44:27,745 --> 00:44:29,383
Does he know where his
bedroom is?
887
00:44:29,385 --> 00:44:31,423
Well, I showed him. Earlier.
888
00:44:31,425 --> 00:44:34,383
I don't want him waking in the
night, wondering where he is.
889
00:44:34,385 --> 00:44:36,183
Especially if he needs the
bathroom.
890
00:44:36,185 --> 00:44:39,063
Does he know where the bathroom is?
Yes. He went.
891
00:44:39,065 --> 00:44:41,503
When you both finally
decided to show up.
892
00:44:41,505 --> 00:44:44,825
I've explained why we were late.
893
00:44:47,265 --> 00:44:49,863
Give him a nudge.
894
00:44:49,865 --> 00:44:52,343
Ted? Mm?
895
00:44:52,345 --> 00:44:54,383
Ted?
896
00:44:54,385 --> 00:44:56,703
Ted! Oh, leave him.
897
00:44:56,705 --> 00:44:59,145
Let's leave the side light on.
He'll be all right.
898
00:45:00,585 --> 00:45:03,623
I wonder where Alice's ashes are.
Well, they'll be somewhere.
899
00:45:03,625 --> 00:45:05,103
No shit, Sherlock.
900
00:45:05,105 --> 00:45:08,383
Well, I imagine
they're in one of his suitcases.
901
00:45:08,385 --> 00:45:10,663
Should we get her out,
do you think?
902
00:45:10,665 --> 00:45:12,863
Put her somewhere...
More dignified?
903
00:45:12,865 --> 00:45:14,223
Less cramped.
904
00:45:14,225 --> 00:45:18,183
I don't know, I don't want
to be going through his stuff.
905
00:45:18,185 --> 00:45:20,863
Here, shall I put this blanket
over him?
906
00:45:20,865 --> 00:45:21,985
You can do.
907
00:45:23,625 --> 00:45:25,583
Eh, Ted.
908
00:45:25,585 --> 00:45:27,865
What have you been up to
this time, old lad?
909
00:45:33,425 --> 00:45:34,825
Are you all right?
910
00:45:36,625 --> 00:45:37,983
Alan?
911
00:45:37,985 --> 00:45:39,225
Yeah.
912
00:45:40,785 --> 00:45:43,103
Just remembering things.
913
00:45:43,105 --> 00:45:44,865
What things?
914
00:45:47,385 --> 00:45:49,025
Shall we get into bed?
915
00:45:53,505 --> 00:45:54,745
Hmm.
916
00:45:56,625 --> 00:46:00,305
He never wanted to go
to New Zealand in first place.
917
00:46:01,305 --> 00:46:04,143
It were my mother and dad...
made him go.
918
00:46:04,145 --> 00:46:05,743
Why?
919
00:46:05,745 --> 00:46:08,223
Well, she was pregnant. Alice.
920
00:46:08,225 --> 00:46:11,383
They'd only been together
five minutes.
921
00:46:11,385 --> 00:46:13,423
My mother and dad were livid.
922
00:46:13,425 --> 00:46:14,785
And her mother and dad!
923
00:46:15,865 --> 00:46:18,703
They wouldn't speak to her. They
wouldn't have her in the house.
924
00:46:18,705 --> 00:46:20,303
You're joking.
925
00:46:20,305 --> 00:46:24,223
Well, they thought
they were a bit of summat...
926
00:46:24,225 --> 00:46:25,543
..up at church.
927
00:46:25,545 --> 00:46:27,703
So...
928
00:46:27,705 --> 00:46:29,303
Oh, hell.
929
00:46:29,305 --> 00:46:34,983
I remember me dad and Ted
having a fight.
930
00:46:34,985 --> 00:46:39,065
A proper set-to -
shouting, me mother crying...
931
00:46:40,145 --> 00:46:44,183
It was when the government were
advertising for people to emigrate.
932
00:46:44,185 --> 00:46:46,863
They were desperate for people
to go over and build houses
933
00:46:46,865 --> 00:46:50,703
and dams and roads
and all sorts.
934
00:46:50,705 --> 00:46:55,303
There were a lot of incentives for
anybody that was short of work.
935
00:46:55,305 --> 00:46:56,343
I remember.
936
00:46:56,345 --> 00:46:57,823
Or...
937
00:46:57,825 --> 00:47:00,263
..needed to get away.
938
00:47:00,265 --> 00:47:02,105
So they got wed and off they went.
939
00:47:03,305 --> 00:47:04,623
They made the most of it,
940
00:47:04,625 --> 00:47:07,063
but he'd not have gone
through choice.
941
00:47:07,065 --> 00:47:10,863
And I think he felt
like they'd been banished.
942
00:47:10,865 --> 00:47:12,463
And it wasn't fair.
943
00:47:12,465 --> 00:47:15,423
They thought the world of
each other,
944
00:47:15,425 --> 00:47:18,143
and they shouldn't have been
made to feel like that.
945
00:47:18,145 --> 00:47:19,743
I never realised.
946
00:47:19,745 --> 00:47:22,663
When we visited him,
he's never said anything.
947
00:47:22,665 --> 00:47:26,343
Well, like I say,
I kind of forgot about it myself.
948
00:47:26,345 --> 00:47:30,463
But you get on with life, don't
you? Put a different spin on it,
949
00:47:30,465 --> 00:47:32,543
for your own sake.
950
00:47:32,545 --> 00:47:36,543
And then that becomes the truth.
951
00:47:36,545 --> 00:47:42,743
But it was when he said that he'd
brought her ashes with him...
952
00:47:42,745 --> 00:47:45,223
..it all came back to me.
953
00:47:45,225 --> 00:47:46,543
And it saddened me,
954
00:47:46,545 --> 00:47:49,983
the idea that all this time
955
00:47:49,985 --> 00:47:53,825
they never stopped wanting to
come back. And now they have.
956
00:47:55,145 --> 00:47:56,543
Only it's too late.
957
00:47:56,545 --> 00:47:58,025
She's dead, and he's...
958
00:48:01,425 --> 00:48:05,103
I do think he is losing it a bit.
959
00:48:05,105 --> 00:48:08,343
Oh, Alan.
I'll have to help him.
960
00:48:08,345 --> 00:48:10,785
Shan't I? Whatever's gone on.
961
00:48:12,665 --> 00:48:15,225
He's the only brother
I'll ever have.
962
00:48:18,105 --> 00:48:19,305
HE SIGHS
963
00:48:23,145 --> 00:48:24,345
No way!
964
00:48:25,945 --> 00:48:27,623
Yes! No...
965
00:48:27,625 --> 00:48:28,823
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
966
00:48:28,825 --> 00:48:32,223
So I could say, "Judith,
967
00:48:32,225 --> 00:48:36,423
"tell us about the time you trashed
Caroline's kitchen
968
00:48:36,425 --> 00:48:39,503
"and then puked up behind
the stairs"?
969
00:48:39,505 --> 00:48:41,423
Yes, you could!
970
00:48:41,425 --> 00:48:43,063
SHE SIGHS
971
00:48:43,065 --> 00:48:45,623
It's possibly not a suitable
anecdote
972
00:48:45,625 --> 00:48:48,223
for her adoring
adolescent acolytes,
973
00:48:48,225 --> 00:48:51,303
but, wahey, who cares?
974
00:48:51,305 --> 00:48:54,703
Oh, God, and then the first
time I met her.
975
00:48:54,705 --> 00:48:57,223
Well, she fell over -
976
00:48:57,225 --> 00:49:00,983
she was pissed - on some glass, and
she slit an artery in her wrist,
977
00:49:00,985 --> 00:49:04,103
and I ended up in casualty with her.
And it was my birthday!
978
00:49:04,105 --> 00:49:05,703
And it was her glass!
979
00:49:05,705 --> 00:49:09,143
It was her bottle of wine
that she'd dropped!
980
00:49:09,145 --> 00:49:11,263
Oh, dear.
981
00:49:11,265 --> 00:49:13,625
Oh, she's a pisshead.
982
00:49:20,265 --> 00:49:23,663
I am glad you're telling me this.
983
00:49:23,665 --> 00:49:26,385
Cos it's making me realise
that she's just...
984
00:49:27,745 --> 00:49:29,703
..a bit rubbish.
985
00:49:29,705 --> 00:49:30,943
Like the rest of us.
986
00:49:30,945 --> 00:49:32,783
Yes, well...
987
00:49:32,785 --> 00:49:34,425
Yeah, she is.
988
00:49:35,905 --> 00:49:40,105
It'll mean I'm not mumbling
incoherently when I interview her.
989
00:49:41,465 --> 00:49:44,423
Right... How far have we got?
990
00:49:44,425 --> 00:49:50,223
Oh, fuck, I can't focus any
more. I'm too pissed.
991
00:49:50,225 --> 00:49:53,623
Well, we can... We'll pick it up
in the morning. It's fine.
992
00:49:53,625 --> 00:49:55,703
You'll be fine,
you've got loads.
993
00:49:55,705 --> 00:49:56,905
God.
994
00:49:58,425 --> 00:49:59,625
BOTH SIGH
995
00:50:02,185 --> 00:50:03,265
Are you all right?
996
00:50:04,745 --> 00:50:05,863
Yeah.
997
00:50:05,865 --> 00:50:07,303
SHE CHUCKLES
998
00:50:07,305 --> 00:50:11,145
Oh, God, it is just so nice...
999
00:50:12,185 --> 00:50:14,385
..not being in that house
with him.
1000
00:50:19,505 --> 00:50:21,023
Is it?
1001
00:50:21,025 --> 00:50:22,423
Yeah.
1002
00:50:22,425 --> 00:50:23,465
Mm.
1003
00:50:24,785 --> 00:50:26,465
Wow.
1004
00:50:33,625 --> 00:50:35,063
I'm going to be nosey.
1005
00:50:35,065 --> 00:50:36,463
Mm?
1006
00:50:36,465 --> 00:50:39,983
How does Flora fit into...?
1007
00:50:39,985 --> 00:50:42,905
Because she's not John's.
1008
00:50:47,585 --> 00:50:49,943
No. Oh, God, no.
1009
00:50:49,945 --> 00:50:52,583
So you had a fling with...?
1010
00:50:52,585 --> 00:50:55,383
Well, no. No, I didn't.
1011
00:50:55,385 --> 00:50:57,463
Erm... No. Flora's, erm...
1012
00:50:57,465 --> 00:50:59,143
Well, I kind of did.
1013
00:50:59,145 --> 00:51:02,265
So after John went off with
her, I, erm...
1014
00:51:03,865 --> 00:51:05,105
SHE SIGHS
1015
00:51:06,865 --> 00:51:08,423
I got married again.
1016
00:51:08,425 --> 00:51:09,743
OK.
1017
00:51:09,745 --> 00:51:11,145
To who?
1018
00:51:13,025 --> 00:51:15,223
To Kate.
1019
00:51:15,225 --> 00:51:16,505
And, er...
1020
00:51:17,745 --> 00:51:19,385
That's Kate.
1021
00:51:20,985 --> 00:51:22,185
There.
1022
00:51:27,145 --> 00:51:28,423
And...
1023
00:51:28,425 --> 00:51:31,585
..Kate wanted a baby, so...
1024
00:51:34,145 --> 00:51:36,745
We got pregnant.
Well, she did.
1025
00:51:37,745 --> 00:51:39,825
And then she was knocked
down...
1026
00:51:40,945 --> 00:51:42,345
..and killed.
1027
00:51:43,385 --> 00:51:45,023
She was pregnant -
eight and a half months.
1028
00:51:45,025 --> 00:51:47,823
They managed to save Flora,
but not her.
1029
00:51:47,825 --> 00:51:50,865
It happened the day after we
got married.
1030
00:51:51,985 --> 00:51:54,463
We got married on the Saturday.
That happened on the Sunday.
1031
00:51:54,465 --> 00:51:56,343
No...
1032
00:51:56,345 --> 00:51:57,825
Five years ago.
1033
00:52:00,665 --> 00:52:01,745
So you're...?
1034
00:52:04,385 --> 00:52:06,345
I didn't realise that you were...
1035
00:52:08,265 --> 00:52:09,903
Bereaved?
1036
00:52:09,905 --> 00:52:11,145
Gay.
1037
00:52:13,185 --> 00:52:14,265
Oh.
1038
00:52:16,785 --> 00:52:18,465
Oh, well, no!
1039
00:52:20,385 --> 00:52:22,785
Neither did I, but, er...
Well, I did.
1040
00:52:24,545 --> 00:52:27,345
I didn't advertise it,
particularly, but I've never...
1041
00:52:28,785 --> 00:52:31,863
..hidden it either. If I was with
someone, it would be more obvious,
1042
00:52:31,865 --> 00:52:34,023
but I'm not now, so...
1043
00:52:34,025 --> 00:52:35,145
Sorry, I thought you...
1044
00:52:36,225 --> 00:52:37,265
..did know.
1045
00:52:38,545 --> 00:52:40,345
Wow. Gosh.
1046
00:52:42,745 --> 00:52:46,185
That is a tragic thing
to have happened.
1047
00:52:48,145 --> 00:52:49,545
Mm.
1048
00:52:53,945 --> 00:52:55,185
I'm sorry.
1049
00:52:56,785 --> 00:52:59,385
Listen, I'm not feeling too good.
1050
00:53:00,945 --> 00:53:02,145
OK.
1051
00:53:03,345 --> 00:53:05,743
I think I've drunk too much.
1052
00:53:05,745 --> 00:53:08,105
I...I have drunk too much.
1053
00:53:09,665 --> 00:53:11,265
I might go to bed.
1054
00:53:12,305 --> 00:53:13,783
Sure.
1055
00:53:13,785 --> 00:53:14,865
It's, erm...
1056
00:53:17,545 --> 00:53:19,985
It's just at the top of the
stairs, far end.
1057
00:53:21,625 --> 00:53:23,465
Would you like some water? No.
1058
00:53:25,785 --> 00:53:28,463
Actually, why don't I ring
for a taxi?
1059
00:53:28,465 --> 00:53:29,943
Oh, you don't have to.
1060
00:53:29,945 --> 00:53:31,225
No, but...
1061
00:53:32,505 --> 00:53:35,583
Saturday night, you'd be lucky to
get one if you...
1062
00:53:35,585 --> 00:53:39,223
Well, if it hasn't been
booked. I had no idea.
1063
00:53:39,225 --> 00:53:41,223
Is it a problem?
1064
00:53:41,225 --> 00:53:43,545
No! God, no.
1065
00:53:44,585 --> 00:53:45,943
Why would it be?
1066
00:53:45,945 --> 00:53:47,025
No, just...
1067
00:53:48,145 --> 00:53:49,783
I just thought you knew.
1068
00:53:49,785 --> 00:53:50,945
No.
1069
00:53:52,345 --> 00:53:54,503
It's not why I invited you
here. Is that why you thought
1070
00:53:54,505 --> 00:53:56,583
I wanted to come here?
You thought that I'm...?
1071
00:53:56,585 --> 00:53:58,065
No!
1072
00:53:59,825 --> 00:54:00,985
No!
1073
00:54:06,585 --> 00:54:08,783
Why don't I make us some coffee?
1074
00:54:08,785 --> 00:54:10,025
Yeah.
1075
00:54:24,225 --> 00:54:25,585
RAIN DRIPS
1076
00:54:28,105 --> 00:54:30,425
THUNDER RUMBLES
1077
00:54:46,585 --> 00:54:47,745
Bastard.
1078
00:54:53,945 --> 00:54:56,465
GUNSHOT, ALL GASP
1079
00:54:58,505 --> 00:55:00,463
What was that?
1080
00:55:00,465 --> 00:55:02,385
Some dumb bastard shooting.
1081
00:55:08,465 --> 00:55:10,583
Morning. What you doing?
1082
00:55:10,585 --> 00:55:12,423
Foxes.
1083
00:55:12,425 --> 00:55:14,025
Pestering sheep.
1084
00:55:18,185 --> 00:55:21,225
Sleep OK?
MIA AND ALYSSA: No.
1085
00:55:22,425 --> 00:55:25,543
There's coffee and bacon on the go
in the kitchen if you're hungry.
1086
00:55:25,545 --> 00:55:26,585
Right.
1087
00:55:46,065 --> 00:55:47,983
BANGING
1088
00:55:47,985 --> 00:55:49,663
DOG WHIMPERS
1089
00:55:49,665 --> 00:55:51,265
DOG BARKS
1090
00:55:59,905 --> 00:56:01,265
SHE GROANS
1091
00:56:02,745 --> 00:56:03,985
DOOR CLOSES
1092
00:56:13,825 --> 00:56:15,185
Shit.
1093
00:56:42,465 --> 00:56:44,303
KNOCKS AT DOOR
1094
00:56:44,305 --> 00:56:46,103
Ted?
1095
00:56:46,105 --> 00:56:47,465
Would you like a cup of tea?
1096
00:57:06,305 --> 00:57:08,263
Where is he?
1097
00:57:08,265 --> 00:57:09,703
Who?
1098
00:57:09,705 --> 00:57:10,823
Is he outside?
1099
00:57:10,825 --> 00:57:13,023
Who? Ted!
1100
00:57:13,025 --> 00:57:14,663
I've no idea.
1101
00:57:14,665 --> 00:57:16,583
Did you open these doors?
1102
00:57:16,585 --> 00:57:18,663
No.
1103
00:57:18,665 --> 00:57:20,103
Where is he?
1104
00:57:20,105 --> 00:57:22,585
Where the hell is he?
1105
00:57:24,105 --> 00:57:25,785
Ted!
1106
00:57:26,865 --> 00:57:28,463
Ted!
1107
00:57:28,465 --> 00:57:30,305
THUNDER CRASHES, CELIA GASPS
1108
00:57:35,705 --> 00:57:39,543
Make it a fiver, and I'll make
sure nobody touches your car.
1109
00:57:39,545 --> 00:57:42,383
And I know you'd be upset
if it got scratched.
1110
00:57:42,385 --> 00:57:43,583
Well, ring the police.
1111
00:57:43,585 --> 00:57:46,703
Obviously, that's exactly
what needs to happen next.
1112
00:57:46,705 --> 00:57:50,703
You're 50-odd. I'm 38.
1113
00:57:50,705 --> 00:57:51,943
Look at yourself.
1114
00:57:51,945 --> 00:57:53,303
JOHN: Don't humiliate Caroline.
1115
00:57:53,305 --> 00:57:54,903
JUDITH: Don't tell me
how to behave.
1116
00:57:54,905 --> 00:57:58,743
When I saw John today, I realised
that I almost miss him.
1117
00:57:58,745 --> 00:58:00,583
Hello.
1118
00:58:00,585 --> 00:58:03,343
Fuck off! Sheep farming...
1119
00:58:03,345 --> 00:58:05,785
Just...don't...
127281
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