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1
00:00:06,730 --> 00:00:08,280
(CHRISTMAS CAROLS PLAYING)
2
00:00:09,450 --> 00:00:10,860
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
3
00:00:11,820 --> 00:00:13,370
MAN: Happy holidays.
GIRL: Merry Christmas.
4
00:00:14,030 --> 00:00:15,580
WOMAN 1: Happy holidays.
5
00:00:16,580 --> 00:00:18,160
WOMAN 2: Happy holidays.
6
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,540
MAN: Happy Hanukkah.
7
00:00:32,470 --> 00:00:33,640
WOMAN 3: Happy Christmas
Eve to you.
8
00:00:35,350 --> 00:00:36,850
MUPPET WOMAN: Hurry, Gladys.
9
00:00:37,220 --> 00:00:38,220
GLADYS: I'm coming.
10
00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:39,930
MUPPET: Wow, cool trains.
Uh-huh.
11
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,560
MUPPET MAN: Coming through.
Excuse me.
12
00:00:44,650 --> 00:00:45,940
(GRUNTING)
13
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:48,650
(EXCLAIMING)
14
00:00:49,070 --> 00:00:50,070
(THUDDING)
15
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:53,160
Hey, close the lid.
Hey, what are you doing?
16
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,120
You're letting the heat out.
17
00:00:55,660 --> 00:00:56,700
MUPPET 1: You're dragging it.
18
00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:57,740
MUPPET 2: I got it.
19
00:00:57,830 --> 00:00:58,910
You're dragging it!
20
00:00:58,990 --> 00:01:00,080
I got it!
21
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,540
Whoa. Yeah.
22
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:03,290
BOY: Yeah!
23
00:01:03,790 --> 00:01:04,960
(MUPPET CROWS CACKLING)
24
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,090
(KISSING)
25
00:01:12,170 --> 00:01:13,340
(CHUCKLING)
26
00:01:13,970 --> 00:01:16,430
(MUPPETS SINGING)
Deck the
halls with boughs of holly
27
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,180
Fa-la-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la
28
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:21,600
'Tis the season to be jolly
29
00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:22,890
MAN 1: Merry Christmas.
30
00:01:22,980 --> 00:01:24,140
MAN 2: Merry Christmas to you.
31
00:01:24,230 --> 00:01:26,940
Whoa. Merry Christmas
to you. Bless you.
32
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:30,820
(CHUCKLING)
33
00:01:31,070 --> 00:01:33,530
Why, if I live to be 102,
34
00:01:33,610 --> 00:01:37,780
I'll never forget the year that the
Muppets almost missed Christmas.
35
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,450
An icy storm
blew in, and I...
36
00:01:40,540 --> 00:01:41,620
Hey, buddy.
What are you doing?
37
00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:43,790
We're trying to make
a movie over here.
38
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:47,420
Why, I'm Joe Snow, your
affable, good-natured narrator.
39
00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:48,500
(CHUCKLING)
40
00:01:48,590 --> 00:01:51,420
Snowman narrator? We don't
have no snowman narrator.
41
00:01:51,510 --> 00:01:53,550
Now get out of shot,
you Burl Ives wannabe.
42
00:01:53,630 --> 00:01:55,470
What, no snowman narrator?
43
00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:56,800
Well, that's a big mistake.
44
00:01:56,890 --> 00:01:59,760
I'm part of the whole holiday
collective consciousness.
45
00:01:59,850 --> 00:02:03,600
I'll have my attorneys see you.
Frog, Slush, and Snow Cohen.
46
00:02:04,430 --> 00:02:09,570
(SINGING)
Hey, jingle bells,
jingle bells jingle all the way
47
00:02:10,020 --> 00:02:13,900
Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh
48
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:18,820
Hey, jingle bells, jingle
bells jingle all the way
49
00:02:19,490 --> 00:02:20,740
Oh, what fun it is to ride...
50
00:02:20,830 --> 00:02:23,500
Gonzo, I sold my
collection of rare cheese
51
00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:26,370
to buy you this crystal petri
dish for your mold collection.
52
00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:27,460
(CHUCKLES)
Oh!
53
00:02:27,750 --> 00:02:30,670
Uh... Gee, Rizzo,
I sold my mold collection
54
00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:33,630
to buy you this
diamond-tipped cheese slicer.
55
00:02:34,340 --> 00:02:35,720
Did you save the receipt?
56
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,010
(SINGING)
And making
spirits bright
57
00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:41,850
What fun it is to ride and
sing a sleighing song tonight
58
00:02:41,930 --> 00:02:45,020
Oh, Beakie, you sold your
periodic table of the elements
59
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:46,690
autographed by
Stephen Hawking
60
00:02:46,770 --> 00:02:50,020
to buy me this stand
for my electron microscope?
61
00:02:50,110 --> 00:02:51,110
(SQUEAKS)
62
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,980
Oh, but I sold
my electron microscope
63
00:02:54,070 --> 00:02:57,450
to buy you these rare
mutagenic elements.
64
00:02:57,860 --> 00:02:59,620
But don't open it.
65
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:00,870
(EXCLAIMS)
66
00:03:03,410 --> 00:03:04,620
(WHIMPERING)
67
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:12,130
(SINGING)
Oh, jingle bells,
jingle bells jingle all the way
68
00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:15,300
Johnny, my best friend
in the whole wide world,
69
00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:19,760
I sold my moped to buy you
this solid-gold record player.
70
00:03:20,590 --> 00:03:22,350
Well, thanks, Sal.
71
00:03:22,430 --> 00:03:26,430
(SINGING)
Oh, what fun it is to
ride in a one-horse open sleigh
72
00:03:26,770 --> 00:03:28,140
Yeah, jerk.
73
00:03:29,350 --> 00:03:30,810
(JOHNNY SCATTING)
74
00:03:32,650 --> 00:03:34,070
Hey, there he is.
75
00:03:34,150 --> 00:03:35,820
Hey, come on,
sing a song with me, baby.
76
00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:37,530
I don't feel like singing right now.
What?
77
00:03:37,610 --> 00:03:39,450
Yeah, he doesn't feel
like singing with you.
78
00:03:39,530 --> 00:03:42,280
Right, Kermit, my new
best friend in the world?
79
00:03:42,370 --> 00:03:43,740
Oh, Kermie, mistletoe.
Here we go, Rowlf.
80
00:03:43,830 --> 00:03:45,080
(SINGING)
Sleighing song tonight!
81
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:46,370
Leave me alone.
82
00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:49,330
Oh, where's
your holiday spirit?
83
00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:52,130
Piggy.
Just one Christmas kiss. Hmm?
84
00:03:52,630 --> 00:03:55,420
Piggy! Would you
please leave me alone?
85
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,510
(GASPING)
86
00:03:57,210 --> 00:03:58,380
(WHIMPERING)
87
00:03:58,800 --> 00:03:59,800
Well...
88
00:04:01,550 --> 00:04:03,220
Kermit, what's wrong?
89
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:05,010
Yeah, your gloomy
behavior would make us
90
00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:07,020
wonder if something
bad has happened.
91
00:04:08,730 --> 00:04:10,440
We lost everything.
92
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:11,650
MUPPETS: Huh?
93
00:04:12,190 --> 00:04:14,730
Uh, you're good, I didn't know
you could read people like that.
94
00:04:14,820 --> 00:04:18,240
It's a gift.
Like my gold record player.
95
00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:23,240
I'm sorry I convinced you all to work
so hard and believe in this dream.
96
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:24,660
It was all for nothing!
97
00:04:24,740 --> 00:04:25,870
(ALL GROANING)
98
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,200
We lost the money, we lost the theater.
We've lost everything.
99
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,620
But it'll work out all right.
Right, Uncle Kermit?
100
00:04:32,710 --> 00:04:36,590
I mean, we'll just all pull
together and everything'll be okay.
101
00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:38,050
Right?
ALL: Yeah.
102
00:04:38,260 --> 00:04:39,340
Yeah.
103
00:04:39,420 --> 00:04:40,590
Not this time.
104
00:04:40,670 --> 00:04:41,800
(SIGHING)
105
00:04:51,020 --> 00:04:51,980
Everybody!
106
00:04:52,060 --> 00:04:54,230
Jingle bells, jingle bells
107
00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:55,310
(ALL GROANING)
108
00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,030
(GASPS) Kermit!
Help me, I'm stuck!
109
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:04,530
I can't help you.
I'll ruin your life.
110
00:05:06,030 --> 00:05:07,200
(SIGHING)
111
00:05:12,870 --> 00:05:14,120
(SIGHING)
112
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:32,600
(SHIVERING)
113
00:05:50,870 --> 00:05:52,370
How could this happen?
114
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:54,960
Someone has got
to do something!
115
00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:57,000
Oh, dear.
116
00:05:57,130 --> 00:05:58,130
(WHISTLING)
117
00:05:58,540 --> 00:06:00,300
Oh, Glenn. Hi.
118
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,630
Kermit the Frog has
got a real problemo.
119
00:06:05,630 --> 00:06:07,430
So, you're gonna wanna
send someone down there
120
00:06:07,510 --> 00:06:10,890
so they can dish out
a little yuletide justice.
121
00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:13,140
Oh, sorry, Dan, no can do.
122
00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:14,940
Daniel. I prefer Daniel.
123
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,020
This is a major crisis.
124
00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:18,810
Dan. Danny.
125
00:06:19,150 --> 00:06:20,190
Daniel.
126
00:06:20,270 --> 00:06:21,400
We have strict guidelines
127
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,360
that define what is
and isn't an emergency.
128
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,990
I can't just dispatch
a field agent without
129
00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:28,660
a thorough review
from the subcommittee.
130
00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:31,700
Come on. You know that.
131
00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:32,790
(CHUCKLES)
132
00:06:32,990 --> 00:06:35,540
Listen,
Feliz Navidad, amigo.
133
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,170
Huh?
134
00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:38,920
(CONTINUES WHISTLING)
135
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,840
DANIEL: Fine.
136
00:06:41,550 --> 00:06:43,130
If you're not
gonna do your job,
137
00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:45,510
well, I'm gonna
do it for you.
138
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:48,510
I'm taking Kermit's case
to the Boss.
139
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:49,640
No, you're not.
140
00:06:52,010 --> 00:06:53,850
Whoa. Hey.
141
00:06:54,350 --> 00:06:59,150
Right, you're just gonna walk into the
Boss' office without an appointment.
142
00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:02,730
That's the kind of attitude that's
gonna keep you in a cubicle, mister.
143
00:07:02,820 --> 00:07:03,900
I don't care.
144
00:07:06,070 --> 00:07:08,070
Kermit deserves justice.
145
00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:09,740
He's going for it.
146
00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:10,950
No, he's not.
He's gonna do it.
147
00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:12,080
He's gonna do it.
No way.
148
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,450
I bet he's gonna do it.
149
00:07:13,540 --> 00:07:14,910
WORKER: Troublemaker.
150
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,000
(WORKERS CHATTERING)
151
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:17,790
GLENN: What's next,
we're all gonna wear color?
152
00:07:18,620 --> 00:07:19,710
Wait.
153
00:07:21,250 --> 00:07:23,210
He's not gonna.
Nope. Nope.
154
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:27,880
No, it's called fronting off. The
young folks told me about this.
155
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:31,760
(DOOR BELL RINGING)
156
00:07:31,850 --> 00:07:33,180
He did it.
157
00:07:37,430 --> 00:07:38,940
(OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
158
00:07:54,870 --> 00:07:56,410
Career suicide.
159
00:08:03,130 --> 00:08:04,420
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
160
00:08:06,170 --> 00:08:08,670
(BOOMING VOICE)
Who dare disturb my peace?
161
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:09,760
(ECHOING)
162
00:08:14,140 --> 00:08:17,350
Don't you just love the big voice?
It's so scary.
163
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:18,480
Hey!
164
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:22,100
(DANIEL GASPS)
165
00:08:23,020 --> 00:08:24,440
What, too big?
166
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:25,610
No.
167
00:08:26,190 --> 00:08:27,980
A Jurassic butterfly.
168
00:08:28,530 --> 00:08:30,150
Whoa, that's cool.
169
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,570
You can really see the beauty
of the compound bug eye.
170
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,990
I think it's too big.
171
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:37,370
Danny from
Accounting, right?
172
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,700
Uh, yeah.
173
00:08:38,790 --> 00:08:40,790
Daniel. Daniel.
174
00:08:41,540 --> 00:08:42,790
Danny-L.
175
00:08:43,460 --> 00:08:46,460
Well, Danny-L, do we
have an appointment?
176
00:08:46,540 --> 00:08:47,590
No.
177
00:08:48,130 --> 00:08:50,760
But this is an emergency.
It's about Kermit the Frog.
178
00:08:51,010 --> 00:08:52,220
Listen, I don't
worry about him.
179
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:53,890
He always does
the right thing.
180
00:08:53,970 --> 00:08:56,050
Yeah, well, I'm afraid
that if you don't help him,
181
00:08:56,140 --> 00:08:57,430
he may never do
the right thing again.
182
00:08:57,510 --> 00:08:58,560
What?
183
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:02,100
Can you please just take a
look at his case, Your Honor?
184
00:09:02,190 --> 00:09:03,810
Your Excellency?
185
00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:05,900
Your Bossiness.
186
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:09,070
I really can't, I have this
appointment with the archangels.
187
00:09:09,150 --> 00:09:10,610
You know, we're talking
about Armageddon,
188
00:09:10,690 --> 00:09:13,570
we're trying to get
Streisand for the post-party.
189
00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:14,950
You don't know
how much this means to me.
190
00:09:15,030 --> 00:09:17,120
I will never ask
for anything again.
191
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,200
(SIGHING)
192
00:09:18,490 --> 00:09:21,830
All right, look. If you can convince
me that Kermit needs my help,
193
00:09:21,910 --> 00:09:23,120
I'll send my best agent.
194
00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:25,250
Oh, thank you so much.
195
00:09:25,330 --> 00:09:28,130
But if you can't convince me
that Kermit needs my help,
196
00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:33,340
you'll have to transfer all
of my albums to MP3 files.
197
00:09:34,510 --> 00:09:37,510
Well, you have like every
album ever recorded. Ever.
198
00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:42,390
Yeah, plus imports. So, you
better be right about Kermit.
199
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:45,310
Have a seat.
What channel?
200
00:09:46,230 --> 00:09:49,360
8-5-7-3-2-9-6 and
then press pound.
201
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,320
Well, which one is pound,
is that the tic-tac-toe thing
202
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,650
or the squiggly bug thing?
203
00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:55,240
Tic-tac-toe.
204
00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:56,490
Oh! You do it.
205
00:09:56,570 --> 00:09:57,570
Oh.
206
00:09:58,530 --> 00:09:59,620
Okay.
207
00:10:07,330 --> 00:10:10,250
Uh... I should probably
rewind it a little.
208
00:10:10,340 --> 00:10:12,260
Yeah.
209
00:10:15,180 --> 00:10:18,510
You know? And that's why
I have this funny collar!
210
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,390
That's a great story, Kermit.
Thanks.
211
00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:21,810
You're funny.
Aw.
212
00:10:21,890 --> 00:10:23,350
Listen, Kermit,
I wanna talk about
213
00:10:23,430 --> 00:10:25,350
your big holiday show
that's coming up.
214
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,520
Tell everybody about that.
215
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:27,850
Yeah, well, listen,
I'd be happy to.
216
00:10:27,940 --> 00:10:31,650
It's going to be a lot of fun and we
could really use the support right now.
217
00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:33,490
Listen, Kermit,
I love the Muppets,
218
00:10:33,570 --> 00:10:36,280
so I, for one, will be
there front and center
219
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,030
at your Christmas
Eve performance,
220
00:10:38,110 --> 00:10:40,240
and I urge everybody watching
to come to the show, too.
221
00:10:40,330 --> 00:10:42,290
Oh, Thank you,
Carson, that's great.
222
00:10:42,370 --> 00:10:43,370
All right,
ladies and gentlemen,
223
00:10:43,450 --> 00:10:44,660
Kermit the Frog.
Get your tickets now
224
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:46,920
for the
Muppet Christmas Show,
starting Christmas Eve.
225
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,370
Thank you, Kermit.
Thank you, Carson.
226
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:49,750
Thank you,
thanks everybody!
227
00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:52,300
That went well, Kermit.
See
ya at the show! Thank you.
228
00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:55,630
Yeah. All that free publicity should
definitely sell a lot of tickets.
229
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,760
I sure hope so. I've got
to go work on my act.
230
00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:59,760
That's true,
I've seen it, yes...
Oh, sure, sure.
231
00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:02,180
(EXCLAIMING) Who is this
little Carson Daly? What?
232
00:11:02,260 --> 00:11:04,850
He's so now, he's so today.
GONZO: I know.
233
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:06,100
He's so cute.
234
00:11:06,390 --> 00:11:08,100
Excuse me,
but who are you?
235
00:11:08,190 --> 00:11:11,230
Bonjour. Je m'appelle
Luc Fromage.
236
00:11:11,310 --> 00:11:12,320
What?
Yeah?
237
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,610
But I am not
stinky like the cheese.
238
00:11:13,690 --> 00:11:16,360
What? No, no, it's a
different sort of smell.
239
00:11:16,530 --> 00:11:18,950
But while you were out doing
all your promotional stuff...
240
00:11:19,030 --> 00:11:20,240
Yeah?
... I hired Luc to help us
241
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,200
with the big musical number.
Oh!
242
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:23,700
He worked with
Cirque du Soleil.
243
00:11:23,790 --> 00:11:24,950
Just a little.
Un peu.
244
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:26,160
And he speaks French.
245
00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:29,330
I took your little
Twelve Days of Christmas...
246
00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:32,670
KERMIT: Yeah? ...and I
made them into this great...
247
00:11:33,210 --> 00:11:34,550
Vehicle.
Yeah, vehicle.
248
00:11:34,630 --> 00:11:35,670
(CHATTERING)
249
00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,760
Yeah, yeah.
Into the journey of the soul.
250
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,180
But not this soul. Or this sole.
Well, no, no, no.
251
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,430
The deep place. The deep soul.
Oh, yes.
252
00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:43,600
Very, very deep.
253
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,220
Well, I can't
wait to see it.
254
00:11:45,810 --> 00:11:48,020
Cirque Du So Lame?
255
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:49,560
I don't think we want the
word "lame" in the title.
256
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,900
It is not lame,
you are lame.
257
00:11:51,980 --> 00:11:53,610
It is lamé.
Lamé.
258
00:11:53,690 --> 00:11:55,400
Lamé, like the shiny fabric.
259
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,570
Yeah, lamé.
Yeah, okay, okay, lamé.
260
00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:58,780
Right.
261
00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:01,410
(COUNTING IN FRENCH)
262
00:12:01,490 --> 00:12:04,580
Let the magic begin!
263
00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:10,670
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
264
00:12:21,010 --> 00:12:22,010
(EXCLAIMS)
265
00:12:33,690 --> 00:12:34,730
Whoa! Ah!
266
00:12:34,810 --> 00:12:36,940
It speaks to
your essence, no?
267
00:12:37,030 --> 00:12:38,070
No.
268
00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:40,950
You're gonna love the five golden rings.
The what?
269
00:12:41,030 --> 00:12:43,990
Gonzo to Scooter. Gonzo to Scooter.
Bring home the bacon, over.
270
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,160
10-4. Bacon down,
bacon down.
271
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:47,290
Roger.
272
00:12:47,370 --> 00:12:48,540
Bacon down, bacon down.
273
00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:50,580
Would you hurry up?
274
00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:52,250
Don't make me miss my cue.
275
00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:55,250
The ham is jammed. Repeat.
The ham is jammed.
276
00:12:55,340 --> 00:12:56,500
(MISS PIGGY GRUNTING)
277
00:13:02,340 --> 00:13:03,340
(EXCLAIMS)
278
00:13:04,390 --> 00:13:05,390
(ALL SCREAMING)
279
00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:10,060
Hang on!
280
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:15,900
LUC: I love the chaos!
281
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:18,730
I love the chaos!
282
00:13:19,190 --> 00:13:20,400
I love the chaos!
283
00:13:21,570 --> 00:13:23,200
(GRUNTING) My nose!
284
00:13:23,950 --> 00:13:25,240
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
285
00:13:28,580 --> 00:13:29,580
(CHUCKLING)
286
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,420
Yes! Yes!
Bravo! Bravo!
287
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,710
Luc, you're a genius!
Yes!
288
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,340
Bravo!
Yes.
289
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:44,010
So, what do you
think, Kermit?
290
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,090
Uh...
291
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:48,850
(STUTTERING) Well, it's not
really what I was hoping for.
292
00:13:48,930 --> 00:13:53,480
What? Are you blind? Are you blind
in your little froggy eyes?
293
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:54,560
(SHUDDERING)
294
00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:58,400
Well, look, Luc, I appreciate all
the work you've put in here,
295
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:01,570
it's just that our Christmas
show is days away,
296
00:14:01,650 --> 00:14:03,320
and, well, I don't
even know what this is.
297
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,860
This is a metaphor
for the winter solstice
298
00:14:05,950 --> 00:14:07,200
and the dark side
of Christmas.
299
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,320
Yeah.
300
00:14:08,450 --> 00:14:10,950
Pathos and the dark side of Christmas?
GONZO: It's a metaphor.
301
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:14,330
No, no. Luc, we want our show to
focus on the joy of Christmas.
302
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,370
You would.
You're a little frog.
303
00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:19,130
(SPITTING) I quit!
Well...
304
00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:22,800
Whoa. Now what?
305
00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:26,550
That was our big opening number.
What'll we replace it with?
306
00:14:26,630 --> 00:14:28,430
I don't know, but we better
come up with something quick.
307
00:14:28,510 --> 00:14:29,550
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
308
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:30,600
Geez.
309
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,140
I'll do my boomerang fish.
310
00:14:32,220 --> 00:14:33,980
I throw them away.
311
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,640
And they come back to me.
312
00:14:36,730 --> 00:14:37,730
(FISH WHOOSHING)
313
00:14:38,810 --> 00:14:40,020
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
314
00:14:40,820 --> 00:14:41,900
Gee, Lew. I don't know.
Geez.
315
00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:43,900
It's kind of lacking
in a Christmas theme.
316
00:14:43,990 --> 00:14:44,940
Okay.
Yeah.
317
00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:46,490
Rita! Murray!
Where are you?
318
00:14:46,570 --> 00:14:47,610
We got pizza here!
319
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:48,990
Whoa. Who wants pizza?
320
00:14:49,070 --> 00:14:50,620
Pizza, count me in.
321
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,240
Hey, Johnny, check out Rizzo's nose.
What's that?
322
00:14:53,330 --> 00:14:55,200
It's so shiny, you could
even say it glows.
323
00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:56,910
Wait a minute.
(ALL LAUGHING)
324
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,210
Check this one out.
Hey, Nosetradamoose.
325
00:14:59,290 --> 00:15:00,920
Hey. Can you predict the
future with that thing?
326
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,250
Hey, hey, hey,
knock it off, will ya.
327
00:15:02,340 --> 00:15:03,590
I got feelings,
too, you know.
328
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,050
Yeah, just not in your nose.
329
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:06,220
(ALL LAUGHING)
330
00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:09,930
Let's see, shiny nose,
laughing and calling names.
331
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,930
I've got it! I've got it.
332
00:15:12,010 --> 00:15:15,980
Meet the new star of the Christmas
show, Frosty the Snow Rat!
333
00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:20,480
Gee, Gonzo, I thought you would have
gone for Rizzo the Red-Nosed Rat Deer.
334
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,400
Oh, sure, if you
wanna go for the obvious.
335
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,860
(PEPE SCATTING)
336
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:30,740
(CHUCKLING) This business is
in business, okay? Oh, yeah?
337
00:15:30,820 --> 00:15:33,370
I got the health permit.
I got the fire permit.
338
00:15:33,450 --> 00:15:35,370
The permit to operate
a topless nightclub.
339
00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:36,540
What?
All the contracts.
340
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:39,210
Well, wait a minute. A permit
for a topless nightclub?
341
00:15:39,290 --> 00:15:40,580
Better safe than sorry, okay?
342
00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:41,880
Good point.
343
00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:44,800
(CHUCKLING) So, Kermit, I will
need a ticket to Miami, okay?
344
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:46,800
A ticket to Miami? Why?
345
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:50,340
Ah! Well, I have been
invited to shake my bon-bons
346
00:15:50,430 --> 00:15:53,470
at Ricky Martin's South Beach
Christmas Party, okay?
347
00:15:53,550 --> 00:15:54,640
KERMIT: Cool.
348
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:55,890
(SCATTING)
349
00:15:56,100 --> 00:16:00,060
Well, I don't know what to tell
ya, Pepe, but we're flat broke.
350
00:16:03,270 --> 00:16:06,440
Oh, Hello!
Hello, Muffins!
351
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:07,530
KERMIT: Hello?
GONZO: Hi.
352
00:16:07,610 --> 00:16:09,070
PEPE:
Hola.
Hi!
353
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:13,370
Rachel Bitterman, new owner of
Bitterman Bank and Development.
354
00:16:13,570 --> 00:16:16,240
Oh, well,
where's Mr. Bitterman?
355
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,040
Dead.
356
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:19,160
(EXCLAIMS)
357
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:21,870
Dead? Oh, my goodness,
I'm sorry.
358
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,750
Is there anything
we can do for you?
359
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,210
Yes, as a matter
of fact, there is.
360
00:16:26,590 --> 00:16:29,670
You can pay me the considerable
debt you owe me, in full,
361
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:33,010
by midnight of the 24th,
or vacate this theater.
362
00:16:34,430 --> 00:16:36,760
But the 24th
is Christmas Eve.
363
00:16:37,270 --> 00:16:43,480
Yes. It also happens to be the due
date for payment on the theater.
364
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,610
It's funny how one day can
mean so many different things.
365
00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:50,700
But we had a deal with Mr. Bitterman.
Yeah, you see, he said
366
00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:53,990
we could extend the contract and pay
him after the whole week of shows.
367
00:16:54,070 --> 00:16:55,530
That's right.
Oh, yeah.
368
00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:58,080
Too bad you don't have
anything in writing.
369
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,000
What... Contracts,
what are you gonna do?
370
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:05,170
But Christmas Eve, that only
gives us time to do one show.
371
00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:07,460
And how is that my problem?
372
00:17:07,550 --> 00:17:09,170
Oh, it isn't.
373
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,590
Well, look, Ms. Bitterman.
We've worked so hard.
374
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,970
You know, owning this
theater is our dream.
375
00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:20,060
Working for a dream.
That's beautiful.
376
00:17:21,060 --> 00:17:23,310
My employees
work for a salary.
377
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:26,400
Salaries?
Is this like monies?
378
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,570
Yes, pumpkin.
379
00:17:27,650 --> 00:17:29,570
And if you ever feel
like working for monies
380
00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:32,070
instead of stardust,
you just let me know.
381
00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:36,820
Okay, so if you need
boxes for the move,
382
00:17:36,910 --> 00:17:39,040
you could check the back
of the liquor store.
383
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:40,870
Well, we're gonna
get you that money.
384
00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:42,660
Yeah, when pigs fly.
385
00:17:43,370 --> 00:17:46,420
(MISS PIGGY EXCLAIMING) RIZZO:
Get the rope, get the rope.
386
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:47,670
(CRASHING)
387
00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:54,430
For the record, I consider that
flying pig to be a coincidence
388
00:17:54,510 --> 00:17:56,590
and not a sign from God.
389
00:17:57,350 --> 00:18:01,100
Ma'am, ma'am? I want to work for
monies instead of stardust, okay?
390
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:03,140
You said to let you know.
Oh!
391
00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:05,480
But what about
our dream, Pepe?
392
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,940
Kermit, I must
think of Ricky Martin
393
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:10,360
and his dream
to salsa with Pepe.
394
00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:13,400
And she's hot.
395
00:18:14,490 --> 00:18:17,660
Welcome to Bitterman
Bank and Development.
396
00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:18,780
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
397
00:18:18,870 --> 00:18:20,620
Starbucks run?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
398
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,620
Do you know I like my coffee
like I like my women. A latte.
399
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:24,710
Oh!
400
00:18:24,790 --> 00:18:25,790
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
401
00:18:26,370 --> 00:18:29,040
PEPE: Do you know, I was talking
to my fabulous friend...
402
00:18:36,090 --> 00:18:37,180
Wow.
403
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,840
You see what
I'm talking about?
404
00:18:38,930 --> 00:18:40,220
Yeah.
405
00:18:40,470 --> 00:18:42,770
Cup o' joe sounds
good right about now.
406
00:18:42,890 --> 00:18:45,560
How do you have
coffee in a bush?
407
00:18:46,020 --> 00:18:48,060
Shrub. It's a shrub.
408
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,230
When you write
the laws of the universe
409
00:18:50,310 --> 00:18:52,110
you know where all
the loopholes are.
410
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,690
Hence, I created
a coffee shrub.
411
00:18:56,900 --> 00:19:02,540
Anyway, (SIGHING) I can't believe
what Bitterman did. It's so immoral.
412
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:04,660
It's just... It's unfair.
413
00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:06,080
It's immoral, it's unfair.
414
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,790
Why do you care about
Kermit's credit problems?
415
00:19:08,870 --> 00:19:12,880
Just, please, keep watching. I
promise you'll wanna help Kermit.
416
00:19:14,510 --> 00:19:16,630
All right,
I'll keep watching.
417
00:19:19,970 --> 00:19:22,350
You're just lucky
SpongeBob
isn't on right now.
418
00:19:22,430 --> 00:19:23,850
I love
SpongeBob.
419
00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:25,270
Do I care?
420
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:27,890
Christmas is ruined.
421
00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:32,480
What are we going to do? It would
take a miracle to save the theater!
422
00:19:32,610 --> 00:19:33,940
(HARP ARPEGGIO PLAYING)
423
00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:39,200
Oh, sorry. Like, I was totally
just tuning up my harp.
424
00:19:39,780 --> 00:19:43,280
Well, you know. You know, guys,
let's not assume the worst.
425
00:19:43,370 --> 00:19:46,500
I mean, maybe we'll be okay.
Yeah.
426
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,290
BEAKER: Me-me-me-me-me.
427
00:19:49,460 --> 00:19:50,960
Excuse me, Dr. Honeydew?
Oh, yes?
428
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,590
Could you figure out a way to
raise enough money with one show
429
00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:55,670
to pay Ms. Bitterman?
Let's work it out.
430
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,590
Beaker, would you boot up the
old window operating system?
431
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:00,510
(SQUEAKS)
Ooh! Mmm-hmm.
432
00:20:01,930 --> 00:20:02,930
Uh-huh.
433
00:20:03,010 --> 00:20:08,980
Now, if we let X equal
the value of our debt,
434
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:13,110
and Y the value
of seating capacity,
435
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:20,150
it appears maximum attendance will
result in Y being greater than X.
436
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:25,240
Yes, Beaker?
437
00:20:25,330 --> 00:20:27,580
Me-me-mo-mo-me-me-mind.
438
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,580
Yes, I think you have
a beautiful mind, too.
439
00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:34,170
So, we'll have enough money to pay
off Bitterman Bank and Development?
440
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:36,590
Yes. Wait, no. Yes.
441
00:20:36,710 --> 00:20:37,760
KERMIT: Yeah?
No.
442
00:20:38,050 --> 00:20:39,880
Oh, Beakie, do you
have my wax pencil?
443
00:20:39,970 --> 00:20:40,970
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
444
00:20:41,380 --> 00:20:42,840
Oh, there it is.
445
00:20:42,930 --> 00:20:46,100
Yes, as long as
we add 1,900 seats.
446
00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:47,770
But that's impossible.
447
00:20:47,850 --> 00:20:49,680
Or we don't pay
anyone till New Year's.
448
00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:51,100
Well, that's not so bad.
449
00:20:51,190 --> 00:20:52,480
Of next year.
450
00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:55,110
Beakie?
451
00:20:56,190 --> 00:21:00,530
...boils down to everybody, is we
sort of have to defer our wages.
452
00:21:00,610 --> 00:21:01,650
(ALL GASPING)
453
00:21:01,740 --> 00:21:02,910
What?
For a period of...
454
00:21:02,990 --> 00:21:04,660
I can't do that.
...about a year.
455
00:21:04,740 --> 00:21:05,990
(LOUD CHATTERING)
456
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,120
How will I afford
my Propecia?
457
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,410
That's not a toupee?
KERMIT: Look, everybody.
458
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:14,130
I know it seems like we've
already given everything we can,
459
00:21:14,210 --> 00:21:16,040
but if we don't
give a little more,
460
00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:17,920
we could lose
the whole theater.
461
00:21:18,750 --> 00:21:20,590
Our home.
462
00:21:20,670 --> 00:21:22,380
So, what do you say?
463
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:23,760
(SUITCASE THUDDING)
464
00:21:24,140 --> 00:21:25,640
Piggy?
Oh!
465
00:21:26,220 --> 00:21:27,970
Where are you going?
466
00:21:28,390 --> 00:21:31,430
Oh, Kermie, I would love
to stay and work for free
467
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,480
but a Hollywood doctor show
needs a hip, young star
468
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,900
with her finger on the pulse of
today's urban youth. (GRUNTING)
469
00:21:37,190 --> 00:21:40,190
And, well, naturally,
they called
moi.
470
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:41,320
(THUDDING)
471
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,200
Typical.
I'm sorry.
472
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,570
Well... All right,
peeps, let's bounce.
473
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,910
MUPPET: I've seen her do that before.
Piggy!
474
00:21:47,990 --> 00:21:51,410
Piggy, we need a star
for our show, too! Piggy?
475
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,000
(ALL CHATTERING)
476
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,420
Okay, fine. We'll just
do our show without her.
477
00:21:57,670 --> 00:21:59,040
FOZZIE: Without her?
478
00:21:59,130 --> 00:22:00,250
(ALL CHATTERING)
479
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,510
I just don't see how we can
do anything without Piggy.
480
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:11,810
I'm sorry, guys, it's...
481
00:22:11,890 --> 00:22:13,350
Well, I hate to be
materialistic,
482
00:22:13,430 --> 00:22:14,480
but, like,
how are we supposed to
483
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,520
have Christmas
without any money?
484
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:17,860
ALL: Yeah!
485
00:22:17,940 --> 00:22:19,110
(ALL CHATTERING)
486
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,530
The words on
my coffee mug are right.
487
00:22:22,610 --> 00:22:26,570
"It is hard to soar with eagles
when you work with turkeys."
488
00:22:26,660 --> 00:22:27,740
Turkeys?
Turkeys?
489
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:29,780
What are you talking about?
What is that supposed to mean?
490
00:22:29,870 --> 00:22:32,240
Guys! Guys! Look at us.
491
00:22:32,500 --> 00:22:36,790
Fighting and being selfish when
Kermit has done so much for us.
492
00:22:37,540 --> 00:22:41,210
We should be
ashamed of ourselves.
493
00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:42,880
Yeah.
Well...
494
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:45,930
Fozzie's right.
495
00:22:46,130 --> 00:22:49,890
Kermit, I defer my paycheck.
Count me in.
496
00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:51,510
Thanks, Scooter.
497
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:52,970
We're in!
Yeah!
498
00:22:53,220 --> 00:22:54,520
I'm in.
I'm in, too!
499
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:55,680
CHICKEN: I'm in.
I'm in.
500
00:22:55,770 --> 00:22:56,890
I am in.
501
00:22:56,980 --> 00:22:58,100
I'm really in.
502
00:22:58,190 --> 00:23:00,110
All right, we'll show
Ms. Bitterman!
503
00:23:00,190 --> 00:23:02,940
When we pull together
we can do anything, right?
504
00:23:03,030 --> 00:23:04,030
Yeah!
Yes!
505
00:23:04,110 --> 00:23:05,530
That's right!
Yeah!
506
00:23:05,650 --> 00:23:07,700
Yeah, even if we go broke doing it.
Yes!
507
00:23:07,780 --> 00:23:09,030
(ALL STUTTERING)
508
00:23:09,490 --> 00:23:10,490
Gonzo?
Hmm?
509
00:23:10,570 --> 00:23:11,580
You're not helping.
510
00:23:11,830 --> 00:23:13,620
(CLEARING THROAT) Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
511
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,210
PEPE: This little fishy
went to the market.
512
00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:28,090
And this little
fishy needs a kiss.
513
00:23:28,180 --> 00:23:29,220
(KISSING)
514
00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:32,560
And this little fishy
looks like my cousin Manolo.
515
00:23:33,010 --> 00:23:34,430
But, Pepe, I want you...
516
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:35,850
Oh, I want you, too, okay.
517
00:23:36,180 --> 00:23:38,390
Do not interrupt me.
518
00:23:38,850 --> 00:23:41,110
I want you to tell me
everything you know
519
00:23:41,190 --> 00:23:43,440
about the Muppets'
financial situation.
520
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:47,860
You tell me, Bitter, baby, I give you
all the papers right there, okay.
521
00:23:48,530 --> 00:23:50,360
All the papers?
Yeah.
522
00:23:50,450 --> 00:23:52,580
You mean,
this is the only copy
523
00:23:52,660 --> 00:23:55,830
of the contract between the
Muppets and Bitterman Bank?
524
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,790
I needed to get all
the permits, okay.
525
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,580
(GRUNTING) Hey!
526
00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:02,630
(PEPE CLEARING THROAT)
527
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,210
Maybe you should go
with the French tips.
528
00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:06,460
Something in a little...
Forget the nails.
529
00:24:07,050 --> 00:24:08,720
Listen, Peepee.
Pepe.
530
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:09,970
Sorry.
531
00:24:11,010 --> 00:24:14,100
Do they know you have the
only copy of the contract?
532
00:24:14,180 --> 00:24:15,140
Uh-huh.
533
00:24:15,220 --> 00:24:17,060
Well, I cannot
answer this question
534
00:24:17,140 --> 00:24:20,350
until we talk about
my Christmas bonus, okay?
535
00:24:22,190 --> 00:24:23,730
I love your spirit.
Well...
536
00:24:23,810 --> 00:24:26,820
Listen to me, my little king prawn king.
(CHUCKLING)
537
00:24:27,110 --> 00:24:33,030
You answer this question, and I'll
give you your Christmas bonus.
538
00:24:34,910 --> 00:24:36,410
Then tell me.
539
00:24:38,450 --> 00:24:40,620
Tell me. Tell me.
540
00:24:40,710 --> 00:24:41,710
(LAUGHING)
541
00:24:41,790 --> 00:24:43,580
No, they don't
know I have it, okay?
542
00:24:43,670 --> 00:24:44,750
Peel me, I'm yours!
543
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:45,880
Yes!
544
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,300
File this!
545
00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:49,420
(GRUNTING)
546
00:24:50,470 --> 00:24:52,470
Rough and sexy, okay.
547
00:24:53,470 --> 00:24:54,850
But tell me, Bitterbuns,
548
00:24:54,930 --> 00:24:57,810
why are you so excited about the
Muppet Theater anyways, okay?
549
00:24:57,890 --> 00:25:00,430
For heaven sakes,
it's not about the theater.
550
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:05,690
No, it's about real estate. It's
about making money, not losing it.
551
00:25:07,110 --> 00:25:10,280
It's about
something like this.
552
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:12,360
I call it Club Dot.
553
00:25:12,450 --> 00:25:13,450
(GASPING)
554
00:25:15,370 --> 00:25:16,450
Nice.
555
00:25:16,530 --> 00:25:17,530
(CHUCKLING)
556
00:25:19,620 --> 00:25:21,000
Does it come
with action figures?
557
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,330
No, it doesn't come
with action figures.
558
00:25:24,420 --> 00:25:27,340
It's a scale model
of a trendy nightclub!
559
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,840
Oh! You're so brilliant.
560
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:33,340
But how will the peoples
fit inside? It's so tinies.
561
00:25:33,930 --> 00:25:35,680
I mean, really tinies.
562
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:37,470
Come, I'll show you.
563
00:25:39,310 --> 00:25:40,470
(GRUNTING)
564
00:25:40,890 --> 00:25:44,310
I think your Club Dot is going
to need bigger doors, okay.
565
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:45,480
(HOWARD TUBMAN SINGING)
566
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:49,320
This is not what I taught you
and it's really bad
567
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,440
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
568
00:25:52,740 --> 00:25:54,950
I don't know when
I've seen dancing so...
569
00:25:55,030 --> 00:25:56,660
Wonderful. (CHUCKLING)
Yeah?
570
00:25:56,910 --> 00:25:57,990
So how's it
going here, Howard?
571
00:25:58,080 --> 00:25:59,540
Oh, Kermit.
572
00:25:59,620 --> 00:26:03,460
Things could not
be better. Period.
573
00:26:03,580 --> 00:26:05,960
Mmm-hmm. Hey, is it
possible to give 110%?
574
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,340
Because that's what I'm
getting from these girls.
575
00:26:08,420 --> 00:26:10,630
Well, great. Well, listen,
keep up the good work, huh?
576
00:26:10,710 --> 00:26:13,090
Okay, okay. Love that tushy.
Oh!
577
00:26:13,630 --> 00:26:14,720
(CHUCKLES)
578
00:26:15,550 --> 00:26:20,260
Okay, you clodhoppers. Let's go.
Five, six, seven, eight.
579
00:26:21,220 --> 00:26:22,680
(SINGING)
580
00:26:24,890 --> 00:26:26,440
Drummer Boy.
581
00:26:26,730 --> 00:26:29,770
Well, that was
(CLEARING THROAT) loud.
582
00:26:30,020 --> 00:26:32,030
Everybody take five, huh?
583
00:26:32,650 --> 00:26:34,900
Gee, I don't know. It seems like the
show's still missing something.
584
00:26:34,990 --> 00:26:38,950
I know. I'll do my
boomerang fish! I...
585
00:26:39,030 --> 00:26:41,790
Thank you, Lew. Thank you.
Mmm-hmm. No, thanks.
586
00:26:41,870 --> 00:26:42,910
Sorry, Gretchen.
587
00:26:43,950 --> 00:26:45,080
I don't know, what do
you think, Fozzie?
588
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:46,790
Well, what does
the show need?
589
00:26:46,870 --> 00:26:48,710
Gosh, Kermit.
Maybe what the show needs
590
00:26:48,790 --> 00:26:51,250
is somebody who'll make people feel
like they got their money's worth.
591
00:26:51,340 --> 00:26:54,090
Hmm. You know, somebody
with star power.
592
00:26:54,170 --> 00:26:55,220
Yeah?
593
00:26:55,300 --> 00:26:58,590
I know, Uncle Kermit. You should
call your famous friends.
594
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,100
You're right, Robin.
To the star phone!
595
00:27:01,890 --> 00:27:05,730
Right, right. Listen, we are all big fans.
I watch you every morning.
596
00:27:05,810 --> 00:27:07,350
And we were wondering
if you'd come out
597
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,520
and star in our Christmas
show at the Muppet Theater.
598
00:27:09,610 --> 00:27:10,650
I don't know, Kermit,
599
00:27:10,730 --> 00:27:12,940
I was planning on spending the
holidays with my loved ones.
600
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:16,070
Well, good golly, Miss Molly.
You are such a big star,
601
00:27:16,150 --> 00:27:18,820
it would be an honor to us if you
would come out and be in our show.
602
00:27:18,910 --> 00:27:22,120
Let me remind you about the
last time I worked with a frog.
603
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,200
We fell madly in love.
604
00:27:24,290 --> 00:27:27,210
So, naturally, I have a key
made to his apartment.
605
00:27:27,290 --> 00:27:31,250
I break in and reorganize his closets
while he's at work as a little favor.
606
00:27:31,340 --> 00:27:34,000
And how am I rewarded for
going to all this trouble?
607
00:27:34,090 --> 00:27:36,880
The frog stops calling me!
Remember that?
608
00:27:37,420 --> 00:27:39,840
Hey, there, Madonna,
want a free Muppet T-shirt?
609
00:27:39,930 --> 00:27:41,390
Courteney, can you juggle?
610
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,600
Thanks, Mr. Connery.
611
00:27:44,010 --> 00:27:46,060
I understand,
Mr. Schwarzenegger.
612
00:27:46,140 --> 00:27:48,480
Hello, Mister Rogers?
Hello, Angelina?
613
00:27:48,770 --> 00:27:51,110
Oh, hi, there, Britney?
Hello, Nicole?
614
00:27:51,690 --> 00:27:55,530
Gee, I could sure do with a little
star power around here, Triumph.
615
00:27:56,030 --> 00:27:57,190
Is there any way
you could help me out?
616
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,030
Muppet movies are
always the best.
617
00:28:00,110 --> 00:28:02,240
You mean that?
For me to poop on!
618
00:28:02,490 --> 00:28:03,490
(LAUGHING)
619
00:28:03,870 --> 00:28:06,580
Right, right,
ya got me again, bye-bye.
620
00:28:07,290 --> 00:28:08,370
Hey, guys, he's coming.
621
00:28:08,460 --> 00:28:10,870
(ALL CHATTERING)
So, anyway, the...
622
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,170
Sorry, everybody. There's
no luck finding a star.
623
00:28:13,250 --> 00:28:14,250
(ALL GROANING)
624
00:28:14,670 --> 00:28:17,510
Well, sure you can't find
anyone now, but just watch.
625
00:28:17,590 --> 00:28:21,760
The day after Christmas, all these
stars'll be marked down 40%.
626
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:23,140
Yeah, but, yeah,
but don't give up, guys.
627
00:28:23,220 --> 00:28:25,930
You know, I'm sure
someone will come through.
628
00:28:26,010 --> 00:28:27,770
Someone like...
629
00:28:28,810 --> 00:28:30,100
I don't know, just somebody.
630
00:28:30,190 --> 00:28:31,230
ALL: Hmm?
631
00:28:31,310 --> 00:28:33,020
You know, somebody will...
632
00:28:33,110 --> 00:28:34,190
Like...
633
00:28:34,900 --> 00:28:35,980
Uh...
634
00:28:36,610 --> 00:28:38,360
All right, all right,
I'll go get her.
635
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:39,950
Yes.
All right.
636
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:42,740
Do we have rhythm?
Can't find a pulse.
637
00:28:42,820 --> 00:28:43,820
Quick, the paddles.
638
00:28:43,910 --> 00:28:45,030
Let's go.
639
00:28:45,990 --> 00:28:47,160
Clear!
640
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,040
Nothing.
641
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:53,080
Alrighty, let's call it.
642
00:28:53,170 --> 00:28:56,250
Time of death, 8:27 a.m.
643
00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:58,800
(MISS PIGGY EXCLAIMS)
644
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,510
I think I'm feeling better.
645
00:29:00,590 --> 00:29:02,800
The shocking things
worked! I'm alive!
646
00:29:02,890 --> 00:29:04,640
No, you're dead.
No, I'm alive!
647
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:05,930
No, you're dead.
648
00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:08,060
I'm alive. It's a miracle.
649
00:29:08,140 --> 00:29:09,430
Cut. Cut.
650
00:29:10,310 --> 00:29:11,350
What do you
think you're doing?
651
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:12,940
It's called acting, sweetie.
652
00:29:13,060 --> 00:29:14,310
You're an extra.
653
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:15,610
You're supposed
to be a dead body.
654
00:29:15,690 --> 00:29:17,940
Look, I didn't quit
the legitimate theater
655
00:29:18,030 --> 00:29:20,190
to play some lump
under a dumb sheet.
656
00:29:20,690 --> 00:29:23,030
I was thinking my character
could start dating J. D.
657
00:29:23,110 --> 00:29:26,410
Then become a nurse with attitude.
You'd have to go.
658
00:29:26,490 --> 00:29:27,580
Guess again,
puerca.
659
00:29:27,660 --> 00:29:28,700
Oh! All right.
660
00:29:29,580 --> 00:29:32,580
Oh, I know. I'll be
the cute janitor.
661
00:29:32,660 --> 00:29:36,790
Yes, yes, the cute janitor who works
her way up to head of hospital.
662
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:39,800
We just have to lose
Frankenstein over there.
663
00:29:40,010 --> 00:29:41,010
(GROWLING)
664
00:29:41,090 --> 00:29:43,010
Excuse me. Pardon me.
665
00:29:43,090 --> 00:29:44,470
Kermie?
Pardon me.
666
00:29:44,550 --> 00:29:46,760
Piggy, our show
really needs you.
667
00:29:46,850 --> 00:29:50,310
We really need a star, would you
please, please consider coming back?
668
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:54,900
Oh, Kermie. I'm afraid
I'm "must see TV" now.
669
00:29:55,190 --> 00:29:56,730
Scrubs needs me.
670
00:29:57,060 --> 00:29:58,480
Yeah. Miss Piggy?
671
00:29:58,570 --> 00:30:00,530
Yes, Billy.
You're fired.
672
00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:03,780
I'm sorry, what did he say?
I think he said you're fired.
673
00:30:03,860 --> 00:30:04,860
Gone.
Canned.
674
00:30:04,950 --> 00:30:06,820
Shalom.
Fired? Fired?
675
00:30:06,910 --> 00:30:08,950
You wouldn't know talent
if it hit you in the eye!
676
00:30:09,030 --> 00:30:10,370
And it's about to, too!
677
00:30:10,450 --> 00:30:12,160
Okay, guys,
I'll take it from here.
678
00:30:12,250 --> 00:30:14,790
Sorry about that, Mr. Lawrence.
Piggy, let's go, okay?
679
00:30:14,870 --> 00:30:18,170
Fine. I quit! I'm a real
theater actress, anyhow.
680
00:30:18,250 --> 00:30:20,300
Not some spoiled TV show-off.
Just a little boost, guys.
681
00:30:20,380 --> 00:30:22,210
You got it.
Thank you, thanks.
682
00:30:22,300 --> 00:30:23,340
Naturally, Kermie...
Thank you, guys.
683
00:30:23,420 --> 00:30:25,260
...as your star, I have
the following demands.
684
00:30:25,340 --> 00:30:27,300
Yeah. Uh-huh. A fresh fruit plate.
Nothing frozen.
685
00:30:28,050 --> 00:30:29,260
(GRUNTING)
686
00:30:30,430 --> 00:30:34,690
"Pepe. My heart is
hot like a black car
687
00:30:34,770 --> 00:30:37,270
"left in the sun
on a summer's day.
688
00:30:37,900 --> 00:30:41,110
"I must have you now."
(GASPING) "Oh, Rachel."
689
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:45,240
"Oh, Pepe."
"Oh, Rachel." "Oh, Pepe."
690
00:30:45,990 --> 00:30:47,910
MAN: So, Rachel. MS. BITTERMAN:
Call me Ms. Bitterman.
691
00:30:47,990 --> 00:30:49,030
Okay, Ms. Bitterman.
692
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:50,120
Ms. Bitterman.
693
00:30:50,780 --> 00:30:51,870
I'm just not
exactly clear...
694
00:30:51,950 --> 00:30:53,250
Another mans?
695
00:30:53,330 --> 00:30:55,710
I will curse him
like a plankton, okay.
696
00:30:56,290 --> 00:30:58,960
So, what will you do
if the Muppets come up
697
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:00,840
with the money
before the deadline?
698
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:06,340
Come, my sweet potato brain.
The answer is here.
699
00:31:07,630 --> 00:31:09,680
If the others are
as stupid as that
700
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:11,720
backstabbing shrimp,
they'll never notice
701
00:31:11,810 --> 00:31:17,690
that I've changed the contract
from midnight to 6:00 p.m.
702
00:31:18,730 --> 00:31:21,860
(LAUGHS) Right.
Changed the contract.
703
00:31:23,150 --> 00:31:24,900
I don't get it.
Look.
704
00:31:24,990 --> 00:31:27,740
The old contract,
the deadline was midnight.
705
00:31:27,820 --> 00:31:30,950
The new contract,
the deadline is 6:00 p.m.
706
00:31:31,030 --> 00:31:34,040
At 6:01, I foreclose
on the Muppet Theater,
707
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,790
gut it, and put up
a trendy nightclub
708
00:31:36,870 --> 00:31:38,750
where I can sell
overpriced drinks
709
00:31:38,830 --> 00:31:41,880
to pierced and tattooed
rave monkeys.
710
00:31:42,210 --> 00:31:43,590
(LAUGHS)
711
00:31:43,670 --> 00:31:45,340
Rave monkeys.
712
00:31:45,460 --> 00:31:48,510
Come, Einstein,
let's go decorate my tree.
713
00:31:49,090 --> 00:31:52,220
Right.
Decorate your tree.
714
00:31:52,300 --> 00:31:53,510
(PEPE GRUNTING)
715
00:31:54,140 --> 00:31:56,810
And tomorrow, you can
oil that chair for me.
716
00:31:56,890 --> 00:31:59,190
Right. Oil your chair.
717
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:02,940
You know, not everything
is an innuendo.
718
00:32:05,230 --> 00:32:06,860
Innuendo.
719
00:32:10,110 --> 00:32:13,120
What have I done?
I must warn Kermit.
720
00:32:21,380 --> 00:32:22,630
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
721
00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:28,340
STATLER: Yeah, okay.
Here's your one.
722
00:32:28,420 --> 00:32:29,470
The Muppets?
723
00:32:29,550 --> 00:32:30,930
Uh-huh. Got it right here.
Thanks.
724
00:32:31,010 --> 00:32:32,340
Yeah.
Two tickets, please.
725
00:32:32,430 --> 00:32:34,970
Get on in there.
Okay, here you go.
726
00:32:35,060 --> 00:32:36,970
Mr. Kermit! Mr. Kermit!
727
00:32:37,310 --> 00:32:38,310
(PANTING)
728
00:32:38,390 --> 00:32:39,810
I have excellent news.
Oh, yeah?
729
00:32:39,890 --> 00:32:42,850
We have sold enough
tickets to cover our debt.
730
00:32:42,940 --> 00:32:45,900
Oh! Good! Hey,
everybody gather around.
731
00:32:46,690 --> 00:32:48,280
Listen, everybody.
Before we go out there,
732
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,860
I just want to thank you
all for sticking together.
733
00:32:50,950 --> 00:32:52,910
Because of all your
hard work and dedication
734
00:32:52,990 --> 00:32:55,080
we've made enough money
to save the theater!
735
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:56,240
(ALL CHEERING)
736
00:32:56,990 --> 00:32:58,620
Let's go out there and
have a great show, huh?
737
00:32:58,700 --> 00:32:59,790
ALL: Yeah.
Oh, ooh.
738
00:33:00,540 --> 00:33:02,040
Nice work, guys.
Nice work.
739
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:03,580
And, because
I love you all,
740
00:33:03,670 --> 00:33:06,460
like cousins I no longer
keep in touch with,
741
00:33:06,550 --> 00:33:09,920
tonight, I dedicate
my performance to
vous.
742
00:33:10,630 --> 00:33:13,050
Give us a kiss
for good luck, Kermie.
743
00:33:13,140 --> 00:33:14,890
Well, I... Fifteen
seconds to curtain, boss.
744
00:33:14,970 --> 00:33:16,970
Show's starting.
I'll take a rain check, Piggy.
745
00:33:17,060 --> 00:33:18,060
Thank you, Scooter.
What?
746
00:33:18,140 --> 00:33:19,680
Sure, anytime.
Places, everybody!
747
00:33:19,770 --> 00:33:20,850
Places! Places!
748
00:33:20,930 --> 00:33:22,020
Where you headed, sister?
749
00:33:22,100 --> 00:33:24,520
(PANTING) Kermit, Kermit,
I must warn you, okay.
750
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,320
Gee, Pepe, shouldn't you be
in Florida with Ricky Martin?
751
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:29,780
No, no, no, no.
Listen, listen,
752
00:33:29,860 --> 00:33:33,530
because the words I'm about to
say are very important, okay.
753
00:33:33,610 --> 00:33:34,950
Okay, I'm listening.
754
00:33:35,030 --> 00:33:36,280
You listening?
I'm listening.
755
00:33:36,370 --> 00:33:38,030
You are sure? Because
this is very big, okay.
756
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:39,540
Pepe, the show's
about to start!
757
00:33:39,620 --> 00:33:41,250
Left, right, left...
Left, right, left...
758
00:33:41,330 --> 00:33:44,540
Okay. First of all, she cheats
on me with another man.
759
00:33:44,620 --> 00:33:45,670
Good grief.
Okay.
760
00:33:45,750 --> 00:33:46,750
And then the dollhouse.
Yeah, yeah.
761
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:47,880
You know the dollhouse?
Yeah, yeah.
762
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:49,800
Well, it's not a dollhouse.
It's a nightclub. Really.
763
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:51,510
It's a nightclub. Okay.
Imagine that.
764
00:33:51,590 --> 00:33:54,720
And Ms. Bitterman, while
very sexy, is dishonest.
765
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:56,970
She changed the...
766
00:33:57,050 --> 00:33:58,560
Kermit, the...
Great.
767
00:33:58,640 --> 00:33:59,890
...left, right, left...
...left, right, left...
768
00:33:59,970 --> 00:34:03,140
Oh, boy. Now,
let's see. Cue the intro!
769
00:34:03,770 --> 00:34:05,810
Boss? You are the intro.
Hmm?
770
00:34:05,940 --> 00:34:07,060
What? Good grief!
771
00:34:07,150 --> 00:34:08,610
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
772
00:34:09,020 --> 00:34:10,900
Kermit the Frog!
773
00:34:12,820 --> 00:34:14,650
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
774
00:34:14,740 --> 00:34:15,740
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
775
00:34:15,820 --> 00:34:17,070
Oh, boy.
776
00:34:17,660 --> 00:34:18,950
Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen,
777
00:34:19,030 --> 00:34:21,290
and welcome to
the
Muppet Christmas Show.
778
00:34:21,370 --> 00:34:22,410
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
779
00:34:22,500 --> 00:34:23,960
Now at this time,
we'd like to ask you to
780
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,710
please turn off all
cell phones and pagers.
781
00:34:26,790 --> 00:34:27,920
(PHONES BEEPING)
782
00:34:34,010 --> 00:34:35,010
I think it's off.
783
00:34:36,970 --> 00:34:38,720
Okay, thank you. Now...
784
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:39,800
(BEEPING CONTINUES)
785
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,600
Merry Christmas, everyone.
It's showtime!
786
00:34:43,850 --> 00:34:44,850
(ALL CHEERING)
787
00:34:54,070 --> 00:35:00,200
(SINGING)
There was a frog A
very strange, enchanted frog
788
00:35:01,330 --> 00:35:04,040
And he came to France
where the ladies cancan dance
789
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:07,710
To the Moulin Scrooge where
our story starts for you
790
00:35:09,540 --> 00:35:11,630
Wait, Donner.
Stop, Schnitzel.
791
00:35:13,670 --> 00:35:14,920
(GASPING) Kermit...
792
00:35:15,720 --> 00:35:17,630
Whoa. Uh-huh.
793
00:35:18,550 --> 00:35:20,850
My, my. This sure
is a nice Christmas
794
00:35:20,930 --> 00:35:23,220
here in Paris
in the year 1900.
795
00:35:23,970 --> 00:35:27,060
I'm sure I'll find the inspiration
I need to write about love
796
00:35:27,140 --> 00:35:29,480
here in this fancy,
red windmill.
797
00:35:29,940 --> 00:35:34,900
Ooh! But first, I think I'll try
this funny, green root beer.
798
00:35:36,570 --> 00:35:37,570
Ooh!
799
00:35:39,660 --> 00:35:41,660
Hi, I'm the green fairy.
800
00:35:41,740 --> 00:35:43,740
Well, what are you
doing in my drink?
801
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:48,250
The backstroke.
Ah! And, now...
Well...
802
00:35:48,330 --> 00:35:53,460
Get ready for a magnificent, opulent,
stupendous, tremendous, gargantuan,
803
00:35:53,550 --> 00:35:56,050
spectacular, spectacular!
804
00:35:56,130 --> 00:36:00,140
Get ready for Moulin Scrooge!
805
00:36:00,220 --> 00:36:01,600
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
806
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,020
(CLUCKING TO THE BEAT)
807
00:36:19,070 --> 00:36:23,530
Kermit, Kermit! Kermit, Kermit.
It's really important.
808
00:36:24,620 --> 00:36:26,870
Unbelievable, again. Really.
809
00:36:27,370 --> 00:36:28,370
(EXCLAIMING)
810
00:36:29,370 --> 00:36:32,750
When the beautiful Saltine, the
sparkling zirconia diamond,
811
00:36:32,830 --> 00:36:36,760
saw this stranger, she knew
what she wanted for Christmas,
812
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:38,470
and it was green.
813
00:36:40,220 --> 00:36:44,760
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting
the star of our show,
814
00:36:45,100 --> 00:36:50,310
the beautiful, stunning,
exotic, voluptuous Saltine!
815
00:36:50,390 --> 00:36:51,480
Saltine!
Saltine!
816
00:36:51,650 --> 00:36:52,940
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
817
00:37:03,410 --> 00:37:04,660
(COUGHING)
818
00:37:24,010 --> 00:37:25,800
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
819
00:37:28,430 --> 00:37:30,350
Come and get me, boys.
820
00:37:30,770 --> 00:37:31,770
(GIGGLES)
821
00:37:37,020 --> 00:37:42,570
(SINGING)
Santa baby, slip the
sable under the tree for me
822
00:37:43,610 --> 00:37:45,870
I've been an awful good girl
823
00:37:46,030 --> 00:37:50,040
Santa baby, and hurry
down the chimney tonight
824
00:37:50,330 --> 00:37:52,210
Let's pick it up a little!
825
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,330
Come and trim
my Christmas tree
826
00:37:56,420 --> 00:37:58,630
with some decorations
bought at Tiffany's
827
00:37:58,710 --> 00:38:03,380
I really do believe in you let's
see if you believe in me, too
828
00:38:03,590 --> 00:38:05,090
Kermit!
What?
829
00:38:06,050 --> 00:38:07,140
(PEPE STUTTERING)
830
00:38:09,850 --> 00:38:13,060
(ALL SINGING)
Jingle bells,
jingle bells, jingle all the way
831
00:38:13,180 --> 00:38:14,770
When you come
to Moulin Scrooge
832
00:38:14,850 --> 00:38:17,230
You stay,
you've got to pay, yeah
833
00:38:20,570 --> 00:38:22,530
MISS PIGGY: Where
did you come from?
834
00:38:22,610 --> 00:38:24,490
Hey, this is my big number!
835
00:38:24,570 --> 00:38:26,450
(SINGING)
So,
if you’re feeling plucky
836
00:38:26,530 --> 00:38:29,910
Our chickens are just ducky
at the Moulin Scrooge
837
00:38:29,990 --> 00:38:31,200
MISS PIGGY: Coming through!
Move it! Move it!
838
00:38:31,290 --> 00:38:32,450
ALL:
It's Christmas every day!
839
00:38:32,540 --> 00:38:35,580
As long as you can pay! And...
MISS PIGGY: Out of the way!
840
00:38:36,420 --> 00:38:39,170
Will everybody stop
singing different songs?
841
00:38:39,250 --> 00:38:41,920
I can't remember which one
I'm supposed to sing!
842
00:38:42,010 --> 00:38:43,170
(GROWLING)
843
00:38:44,590 --> 00:38:46,090
Santa Baby,
from "Ba-doo-bee-doo."
844
00:38:46,180 --> 00:38:48,640
Oh, yeah. Right.
845
00:38:49,100 --> 00:38:50,600
Ba-doo-bee-doo
846
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:55,690
Santa baby, forgot to mention
one little thing, a ring
847
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:58,230
I don't mean on the phone
848
00:38:58,650 --> 00:39:02,780
Santa baby, so hurry
down the chimney tonight
849
00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:10,780
Hurry down
the chimney tonight
850
00:39:12,290 --> 00:39:14,580
Hurry tonight
851
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,040
I'll be waiting up for you.
852
00:39:23,460 --> 00:39:24,800
Thank you.
853
00:39:25,970 --> 00:39:28,970
There is one present
you can give
moi.
854
00:39:29,300 --> 00:39:32,010
Well, what is it,
beautiful Saltine?
855
00:39:32,100 --> 00:39:33,180
Vous, froggy.
856
00:39:35,100 --> 00:39:37,190
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
857
00:39:37,730 --> 00:39:38,980
Say what?
858
00:39:47,990 --> 00:39:49,070
(ALL CHATTERING)
859
00:39:49,490 --> 00:39:52,830
(PANTING) Kermit, Kermit, the
theater is in great danger, okay.
860
00:39:53,660 --> 00:39:55,250
The contract says...
861
00:39:55,330 --> 00:39:56,330
(INHALES DEEPLY)
862
00:39:56,410 --> 00:39:57,750
I am exhausted, okay.
Oh, boy.
863
00:39:57,830 --> 00:39:58,790
Kermie, quickly.
864
00:39:58,870 --> 00:40:01,840
What were your 10 favorite
things about my performance?
865
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:03,920
Well, it's really hard
to narrow it down to just 10.
866
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,760
Oh, Kermie.
Yeah, really.
867
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:09,430
Try. Start with number 10 and
work backward to your favorite.
868
00:40:10,300 --> 00:40:12,260
Don't you have to change
for your next number?
869
00:40:12,350 --> 00:40:15,560
My next number! Oh, yes!
I'm wonderful in that, too.
870
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:17,100
Yeah, of course.
871
00:40:17,180 --> 00:40:19,060
Now, Pepe,
what is going on?
872
00:40:20,020 --> 00:40:23,520
Okay. You are listening? Because
this very important, okay.
873
00:40:23,610 --> 00:40:24,770
Pepe, I'm listening.
874
00:40:24,860 --> 00:40:26,030
Okay, okay.
875
00:40:26,530 --> 00:40:30,990
You must get the monies to Bitterman
by 6:00, not midnight, okay.
876
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,370
Otherwise, we will all
be on the streets again.
877
00:40:33,450 --> 00:40:36,160
Wait a second, that's not
what the contract says.
878
00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:37,450
Mira, mira, look, look.
879
00:40:37,540 --> 00:40:38,960
What?
880
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:40,870
You see.
Whoa. Hey, wait a second.
881
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,250
She changed
the contract, okay.
882
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:45,300
Do you see?
883
00:40:45,380 --> 00:40:49,220
You can see right here. She's
very, very tricky, okay, Kermit.
884
00:40:50,220 --> 00:40:52,220
Wait a minute.
That can't be.
885
00:40:52,300 --> 00:40:55,010
It does be.
And it's almost 6:00, okay.
886
00:41:01,230 --> 00:41:02,940
Kermit, unless we do
something fast,
887
00:41:03,020 --> 00:41:04,650
Ms. Bitterman's going to
take the theater, okay.
888
00:41:04,730 --> 00:41:08,530
Yeah, yeah, but the joke's on
her 'cause we've got the money.
889
00:41:08,610 --> 00:41:10,400
Yeah, and I'm gonna
take it to her right now.
890
00:41:10,490 --> 00:41:11,740
Okay.
891
00:41:11,820 --> 00:41:13,030
Pastel M&M's?
892
00:41:13,110 --> 00:41:15,580
I said no pastel M&M's!
893
00:41:15,990 --> 00:41:19,660
Kermie, you said you'd treat
me like a star if I came back.
894
00:41:19,750 --> 00:41:20,790
How could you?
895
00:41:20,870 --> 00:41:21,830
But, Piggy, it's just a...
896
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:23,460
Coming through.
897
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:25,250
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
898
00:41:26,540 --> 00:41:27,800
Kermit, 6:00.
899
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:29,090
I gotta get to the bank.
900
00:41:29,550 --> 00:41:32,050
Kermit. Maybe I should
go to the bank for you.
901
00:41:32,130 --> 00:41:33,930
No, no, Fozzie, but what
about your monologue?
902
00:41:34,010 --> 00:41:35,390
You've been
working so hard on it.
903
00:41:35,470 --> 00:41:37,600
This is more important.
904
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:41,310
And besides,
it's kind of crazy here.
905
00:41:41,940 --> 00:41:43,560
Yeah. I will fill in
for Fozzie, okay.
906
00:41:43,650 --> 00:41:45,980
See, I am very funny, very funny.
Waka-waka, okay.
907
00:41:46,060 --> 00:41:48,020
Ah! Not bad.
908
00:41:48,110 --> 00:41:51,690
Now are you sure you're okay
missing your stand-up spot?
909
00:41:51,780 --> 00:41:56,370
Kermit, you have done so much for us.
Let me do this for you.
910
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:00,500
Okay, Fozzie, you've got the job.
But now, remember.
911
00:42:00,580 --> 00:42:02,620
This is a very important job...
Kermit!
912
00:42:02,710 --> 00:42:03,960
...to us and...
913
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:05,250
You can count on me.
914
00:42:06,380 --> 00:42:08,090
Uh-oh. Fozzie!
915
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:10,510
Yeah?
The money?
916
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:14,880
Oh! Oh, oh! Right, right, right, right.
The money. Yes, of course.
917
00:42:14,970 --> 00:42:17,180
Boy, hope that was
the right thing to do.
918
00:42:17,260 --> 00:42:18,430
Where's Fozzie? He's on.
919
00:42:18,510 --> 00:42:20,060
This is me, okay.
920
00:42:20,970 --> 00:42:22,140
Right. Great.
921
00:42:24,230 --> 00:42:25,230
(SCATTING)
922
00:42:29,190 --> 00:42:31,070
Thank you, thank you.
(CHUCKLING) Okay.
923
00:42:31,150 --> 00:42:33,280
(CLEARING THROAT)
Waka-waka, okay.
924
00:42:34,780 --> 00:42:38,450
What are Santa's three favorite
gardening tools, okay?
925
00:42:40,030 --> 00:42:43,290
Hoe, hoe and hoe, okay?
926
00:42:45,290 --> 00:42:48,790
Hoe, hoe and hoe.
This what Santa says, okay.
927
00:42:49,500 --> 00:42:53,300
Gardening tools! Gardening tools!
Hoe-hoe-hoe!
928
00:42:53,380 --> 00:42:55,260
Hey, the shrimp's
floundering!
929
00:42:55,340 --> 00:42:56,340
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
930
00:42:56,430 --> 00:42:57,930
You shut up, okay.
931
00:42:58,010 --> 00:42:59,470
He told us to clam up.
932
00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:01,510
What's he wanna do?
Mussel us?
933
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:04,350
Don't get me steamed, okay.
934
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:05,730
Steamed shrimp.
935
00:43:05,810 --> 00:43:07,600
Whoa, pass the cocktail sauce!
936
00:43:07,690 --> 00:43:08,690
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)
937
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:11,650
That's it.
I'm coming up there!
938
00:43:12,110 --> 00:43:14,320
Whoa, I'm shaking.
939
00:43:14,860 --> 00:43:16,700
You're always shaking.
940
00:43:16,780 --> 00:43:17,780
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
941
00:43:18,870 --> 00:43:20,700
I'm going to the bank.
942
00:43:21,830 --> 00:43:23,830
Gosh, I sure hope they have
a little bears' room there.
943
00:43:23,910 --> 00:43:25,410
Excuse me, mate.
944
00:43:27,210 --> 00:43:31,340
Watch your step, this street is
teeming with wild crocodiles.
945
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,800
There aren't any
crocodiles here.
946
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:36,920
Are you telling me
how to do my job?
947
00:43:37,010 --> 00:43:40,430
No, no, no, no. It's just that this is
a city and there aren't any swamps.
948
00:43:40,510 --> 00:43:42,890
Crikey! You're a bear.
949
00:43:43,770 --> 00:43:45,310
I'm gonna have to
tranquilize him,
950
00:43:45,390 --> 00:43:48,560
'cause bears get a tad cranky
when they get a bit stressed.
951
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:50,520
(EXCLAIMING)
952
00:43:50,610 --> 00:43:52,360
Crikey! There he goes!
953
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:58,570
He's getting away!
954
00:43:59,570 --> 00:44:01,620
Watch out, folks!
Stand back.
955
00:44:01,700 --> 00:44:03,870
Come on!
I think he went this way.
956
00:44:04,740 --> 00:44:06,660
Watch out! There he goes.
957
00:44:09,250 --> 00:44:10,330
What?
958
00:44:13,290 --> 00:44:14,920
He's right there.
959
00:44:15,130 --> 00:44:17,590
These darts
are really potent,
960
00:44:17,670 --> 00:44:20,090
so I've gotta
get a clean shot.
961
00:44:21,930 --> 00:44:23,100
(GASPING)
962
00:44:25,140 --> 00:44:29,810
Meanwhile, everybody waited nervously
for Fozzie to get to the bank.
963
00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:33,360
Well, what's happening?
What's going on?
964
00:44:33,980 --> 00:44:35,860
Everything is
melding together.
965
00:44:35,940 --> 00:44:37,360
Crikey.
966
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:40,320
I think I'm going to, I am.
967
00:44:41,950 --> 00:44:42,950
(SCREAMING)
968
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:44,450
There he goes!
969
00:44:47,910 --> 00:44:48,910
FOZZIE: What's this?
970
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:50,040
(CRASHING)
971
00:44:50,500 --> 00:44:51,500
(FOZZIE EXCLAIMING)
972
00:44:52,790 --> 00:44:54,630
Hot! My eyes!
973
00:44:58,010 --> 00:44:59,170
(PANTING)
974
00:45:03,300 --> 00:45:05,560
Where did he go?
Where'd he go?
975
00:45:08,390 --> 00:45:09,390
(SIGHING)
976
00:45:11,310 --> 00:45:13,100
SANTA: Merry Christmas!
977
00:45:16,980 --> 00:45:19,400
You poor thing.
Are you okay?
978
00:45:21,490 --> 00:45:24,740
Where's Bitterman Bank?
Bitterman Bank?
979
00:45:24,990 --> 00:45:28,040
Look at you, you're
soaking wet and freezing.
980
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:30,290
Here, you take my coat.
981
00:45:30,660 --> 00:45:32,580
NANCY: Look! It's him!
NICKI: What?
982
00:45:32,670 --> 00:45:36,420
That's the green guy who stole Christmas!
And ruined all our wishes.
983
00:45:36,750 --> 00:45:39,210
I'm Nancy Nut-What
from Whatville, you see,
984
00:45:39,300 --> 00:45:42,180
and you've made me and
Uncle Nicky quite angry.
985
00:45:42,260 --> 00:45:44,800
He'll make sure you don't
steal Christmas again,
986
00:45:44,890 --> 00:45:47,390
by making you feel
some serious pain.
987
00:45:47,470 --> 00:45:49,680
Let's get him!
Uh...
988
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,350
I can't rhyme. Can't we
just go beat him up?
989
00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:57,690
Yeah, let's go get
that sick, green pup!
990
00:46:09,330 --> 00:46:10,540
(FOZZIE EXCLAIMING)
991
00:46:11,580 --> 00:46:13,370
MAN 1: Hey, that's a bear!
MAN 2: Bear?
992
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,050
FOZZIE: Hey,
where you going?
993
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:26,090
Hey! Anyone here seen that
guy that stole Christmas?
994
00:46:26,220 --> 00:46:27,350
He went that way!
995
00:46:27,430 --> 00:46:28,510
Come on, get him!
996
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:32,230
There he goes!
He's green, he's mean and...
997
00:46:32,980 --> 00:46:34,270
NICKI: Hey!
998
00:46:35,060 --> 00:46:36,060
(GASPING)
999
00:46:37,980 --> 00:46:39,150
Thank you.
1000
00:46:39,820 --> 00:46:41,650
Stop, you!
Come back here!
1001
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:44,280
(EXCLAIMS)
1002
00:46:45,240 --> 00:46:46,240
(PANTING)
1003
00:46:55,250 --> 00:46:56,580
Hello, hello.
1004
00:46:58,540 --> 00:46:59,540
(GASPS)
1005
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:02,420
Where's Ms. Bitterman's
office?
1006
00:47:03,090 --> 00:47:04,090
What?
1007
00:47:04,170 --> 00:47:05,380
Where's Ms. Bitterman's
office?
1008
00:47:05,470 --> 00:47:07,340
I need to deposit this money.
1009
00:47:07,430 --> 00:47:11,430
Well, if I was a bear,
I suppose I'd deposit
1010
00:47:11,510 --> 00:47:13,850
my honey in an old
tree somewhere.
1011
00:47:13,930 --> 00:47:16,850
No, not honey, money!
1012
00:47:16,940 --> 00:47:18,020
What?
1013
00:47:18,100 --> 00:47:23,900
Money! I need to give
Ms. Bitterman her money!
1014
00:47:24,070 --> 00:47:26,490
Oh! Ms. Bitterman's laundry.
1015
00:47:26,570 --> 00:47:27,610
No.
1016
00:47:27,700 --> 00:47:30,030
Her offices are
on the 13th floor.
1017
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:31,660
I let her know
you are coming.
1018
00:47:31,740 --> 00:47:33,200
Thank you.
1019
00:47:33,870 --> 00:47:35,330
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
1020
00:47:42,130 --> 00:47:44,170
Where's the buttons?
No buttons?
1021
00:47:45,050 --> 00:47:46,050
Ah!
1022
00:47:47,010 --> 00:47:49,050
MS. BITTERMAN: Oh!
What a beautiful nightclub.
1023
00:47:49,140 --> 00:47:50,300
(PHONE RINGING)
1024
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:52,810
(IN SING-SONG TONE)
What you want?
1025
00:47:52,890 --> 00:47:54,100
(IN NORMAL TONE)
I mean, what do you want?
1026
00:47:55,020 --> 00:48:00,480
What? No! Stop him.
No, not stockings.
1027
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:02,820
Stop... Do not...
Never mind.
1028
00:48:09,110 --> 00:48:10,320
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
1029
00:48:21,210 --> 00:48:22,210
(EXCLAIMS)
1030
00:48:26,340 --> 00:48:27,340
(GULPING)
1031
00:48:28,510 --> 00:48:30,130
Uh-oh.
1032
00:48:42,230 --> 00:48:43,230
(GRUNTING)
1033
00:48:51,610 --> 00:48:52,820
(EXCLAIMING)
1034
00:48:54,030 --> 00:48:55,030
(BLOWING)
1035
00:49:04,380 --> 00:49:05,800
(SCREAMING)
1036
00:49:11,630 --> 00:49:12,800
Yes!
1037
00:49:17,310 --> 00:49:19,020
No!
1038
00:49:32,740 --> 00:49:36,030
So, looks like
the Christmas spirit
1039
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:39,370
is with the good
guys for a change.
1040
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:45,250
We know the truth
about the contract.
1041
00:49:49,340 --> 00:49:50,590
There's nothing in here.
1042
00:49:50,670 --> 00:49:53,760
Ah! You mean nothing
but a pile of cash.
1043
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:10,480
(SCREAMING)
1044
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:17,450
Now, if you don't mind, if you could
take your sad self away from here.
1045
00:50:17,870 --> 00:50:19,700
You smell like a burnt couch.
1046
00:50:24,210 --> 00:50:27,790
No. No. No, no, no.
1047
00:50:28,460 --> 00:50:29,500
No.
Yes!
1048
00:50:33,300 --> 00:50:38,760
ALL: Chug, chug, chug,
chug, chug... Chug,
chug, chug, chug, chug...
1049
00:50:38,850 --> 00:50:39,970
(EXCLAIMS)
1050
00:50:41,430 --> 00:50:42,480
(BURPING)
1051
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:44,560
Hey, Rizzo. Listen,
you did a great job.
1052
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:46,060
Your nose was
a real bright spot.
1053
00:50:46,150 --> 00:50:47,400
Yeah, lucky break.
1054
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:49,770
(BURPING)
1055
00:50:54,450 --> 00:50:57,910
SCOOTER: Great. And you guys have been
dancing together for a long time?
1056
00:50:57,990 --> 00:50:59,490
(GIGGLING) Yeah. Yeah.
1057
00:51:00,490 --> 00:51:04,250
Wait! Hey, girls, come back. My
uncle used to own the theater.
1058
00:51:04,330 --> 00:51:05,710
Hey, hey, Scooter?
1059
00:51:05,790 --> 00:51:07,080
Yeah, boss?
1060
00:51:07,170 --> 00:51:08,420
Have you seen Fozzie?
1061
00:51:08,500 --> 00:51:09,840
No, not since he left.
1062
00:51:12,340 --> 00:51:14,420
Hmm. I think I better
go look for him.
1063
00:51:14,510 --> 00:51:15,590
And miss the party?
1064
00:51:15,670 --> 00:51:16,680
I'm sure he'll be fine.
1065
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:17,760
Yeah, you're probably right,
1066
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:19,550
but I'd feel better
if I knew for certain.
1067
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:37,280
(SIGHING)
1068
00:51:40,490 --> 00:51:42,410
Fozzie, what happened?
1069
00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:48,370
Please tell me you
deposited the money.
1070
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:50,080
Kermit, I...
1071
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:55,340
Oh, Fozzie, no.
1072
00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:05,060
(FROGS CHATTERING)
1073
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:06,730
FROG 1: Yeah. FROG 2: Just
put your tongue on it.
1074
00:52:06,810 --> 00:52:08,480
LITTLE FROG: Really?
FROG 3: Yeah, just lick it.
1075
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:10,400
You're sure it won't stick.
Of course, not.
1076
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:11,980
No, no, of course, not.
I dare you.
1077
00:52:12,060 --> 00:52:13,190
I double dare you.
1078
00:52:13,270 --> 00:52:14,650
I triple frog dare you.
1079
00:52:15,820 --> 00:52:17,400
Now you gotta do it.
Hey. Yeah.
1080
00:52:18,610 --> 00:52:19,950
See it, look.
1081
00:52:20,030 --> 00:52:21,410
(GASPING)
(ALL LAUGHING)
1082
00:52:21,490 --> 00:52:22,830
Well, good luck with it.
I'm stuck! I'm stuck!
1083
00:52:22,910 --> 00:52:23,990
Bye, little guy.
So long!
1084
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:27,120
I'm stuck! Guys, don't leave me!
I'm stuck!
1085
00:52:28,410 --> 00:52:29,750
Think, Fozzie, think.
1086
00:52:29,830 --> 00:52:31,170
I'm trying, I'm trying.
1087
00:52:31,250 --> 00:52:33,670
What happened to you
after you left the theater?
1088
00:52:33,750 --> 00:52:37,420
Well, first, the crazy Australian
tried to shoot me with his blowgun.
1089
00:52:37,970 --> 00:52:40,300
Then I got painted green, so
people thought I stole Christmas.
1090
00:52:40,930 --> 00:52:43,220
Then I ran through a steam bath and
got burned by a bunch of lasers.
1091
00:52:43,300 --> 00:52:45,930
Fozzie, there's no time for your stories!
This is serious!
1092
00:52:46,020 --> 00:52:47,640
Now, was it ever
out of your hands?
1093
00:52:47,730 --> 00:52:48,770
No.
1094
00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:52,690
Wait. Maybe for a second when I
bumped into Santa and his army.
1095
00:52:52,770 --> 00:52:54,860
Fozzie, do you realize that
if we don't find this money,
1096
00:52:54,940 --> 00:52:57,030
we'll have lost everything
we've worked for?
1097
00:52:57,860 --> 00:52:59,150
Just keep looking.
1098
00:53:01,820 --> 00:53:04,030
Does it help that
I feel really badly?
1099
00:53:25,050 --> 00:53:26,350
Okay, so here are
your holiday bonuses.
1100
00:53:26,430 --> 00:53:27,470
Thank you.
1101
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:30,140
Merry Christmas, Merry
Christmas, Merry Christmas.
1102
00:53:30,850 --> 00:53:37,480
Kermit. Hey! You gave me
the greatest present of all.
1103
00:53:37,900 --> 00:53:39,360
Your theater.
1104
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:42,570
Ms. Bitterman,
you changed the contract.
1105
00:53:42,660 --> 00:53:43,910
You can't prove that.
1106
00:53:44,450 --> 00:53:46,870
I can't believe you'd do
this on Christmas Eve.
1107
00:53:46,990 --> 00:53:47,990
Huh.
1108
00:53:48,240 --> 00:53:51,080
By now, I thought you would
have realized I'm the bad guy.
1109
00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:57,540
Ms. Bitterman, why can't you understand
what this theater means to us?
1110
00:53:57,630 --> 00:53:58,960
It's our dream.
1111
00:53:59,050 --> 00:54:00,340
Your dream?
1112
00:54:01,380 --> 00:54:05,340
Please. I mean,
you can't eat a dream.
1113
00:54:05,430 --> 00:54:09,100
You can't sell watered-down
drinks from a dream.
1114
00:54:09,180 --> 00:54:13,480
You can't be the queen of a
Polynesian tribe in a dream.
1115
00:54:14,810 --> 00:54:16,940
Wait. Yes, you can.
Forget that last one.
1116
00:54:17,020 --> 00:54:22,990
The point is, I believe
in money, not dreams.
1117
00:54:23,610 --> 00:54:26,820
A life without dreams?
That's terrible.
1118
00:54:26,910 --> 00:54:31,580
You just don't get it, do you?
Dreams ruin lives.
1119
00:54:32,660 --> 00:54:37,330
And in your case, they ruined
the lives of your friends, too.
1120
00:54:38,090 --> 00:54:39,090
I...
1121
00:54:49,970 --> 00:54:51,310
Hey, Kermit.
1122
00:54:54,230 --> 00:54:56,560
Don't let it
spoil your holiday.
1123
00:54:57,230 --> 00:55:01,400
Remember, this is the most
wonderful time of the year.
1124
00:55:04,610 --> 00:55:08,660
(SINGING)
Tis
the season to be jolly
1125
00:55:08,740 --> 00:55:12,490
Fa-la-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la
1126
00:55:12,750 --> 00:55:15,660
This is not good.
This is not good at all.
1127
00:55:15,750 --> 00:55:17,670
Somebody's gotta do something
about that Bitterman.
1128
00:55:17,750 --> 00:55:19,920
That's what I've
been trying to say.
1129
00:55:20,210 --> 00:55:22,670
I mean, look what she's put
this poor frog through.
1130
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:26,430
I'm sorry I convinced you all to work
so hard and believe in this dream.
1131
00:55:27,090 --> 00:55:29,890
It was all for nothing!
We lost the money,
1132
00:55:29,970 --> 00:55:32,850
we lost the theater.
We've lost everything.
1133
00:55:33,930 --> 00:55:36,270
I mean, send someone down there
to dole out some justice.
1134
00:55:38,310 --> 00:55:39,770
Could you send
someone down there
1135
00:55:39,860 --> 00:55:41,940
to dole out some
justice, please?
1136
00:55:43,230 --> 00:55:44,610
Let me think about it.
1137
00:55:50,870 --> 00:55:52,080
(SIGHING)
1138
00:56:09,130 --> 00:56:10,260
(KERMIT READING)
1139
00:56:14,220 --> 00:56:17,270
Dreams. Bitterman's right.
1140
00:56:17,730 --> 00:56:21,480
I ruined everyone's life
with my ridiculous dreams.
1141
00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:42,920
(SHIVERING)
1142
00:56:58,850 --> 00:57:01,350
You can't tell me that this
is what you wanted to happen.
1143
00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:02,560
It isn't.
1144
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:05,480
Hello, Fritz?
We've got a problem on Earth.
1145
00:57:05,570 --> 00:57:07,900
Can you prepare the transport
for a field agent?
1146
00:57:09,110 --> 00:57:12,610
Great. Great. Should I
get Glenn on the horn?
1147
00:57:14,580 --> 00:57:15,620
No.
1148
00:57:15,700 --> 00:57:16,740
What?
1149
00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:23,330
Me? No, I'm the wrong guy.
I'm gonna go get Glenn.
1150
00:57:25,290 --> 00:57:26,300
(EXCLAIMS)
1151
00:57:26,500 --> 00:57:30,550
What'd you do with my clothes?
My glasses?
1152
00:57:30,630 --> 00:57:32,800
I look like an ice cream
man from
Hello, Dolly!
1153
00:57:33,970 --> 00:57:36,140
What's this?
1154
00:57:36,970 --> 00:57:37,970
(READING)
1155
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:43,560
I should probably tell you
I'm a very slow reader.
1156
00:57:43,940 --> 00:57:45,060
Okay, fine.
1157
00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:50,650
(DANIEL READING)
1158
00:57:53,860 --> 00:57:55,490
I'm sorry. I'm the
wrong guy for the job.
1159
00:57:56,070 --> 00:57:59,200
See, I'm a numbers guy.
People are too unpredictable.
1160
00:57:59,410 --> 00:58:03,250
Danny-L,
you are the right guy.
1161
00:58:03,670 --> 00:58:06,420
You have a real understanding
of right and wrong
1162
00:58:06,500 --> 00:58:08,460
and an innate
sense of justice.
1163
00:58:10,010 --> 00:58:13,220
You'll be fine.
Now, get down there
1164
00:58:13,300 --> 00:58:14,760
before he turns
into a frogsicle.
1165
00:58:15,890 --> 00:58:16,970
Go.
1166
00:58:17,050 --> 00:58:18,260
(DANIEL SCREAMING)
1167
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:33,150
Hey, Kermit! Dear Boss.
1168
00:58:33,610 --> 00:58:35,110
I'm too late!
1169
00:58:36,660 --> 00:58:39,450
See? I've already
blown my mission!
1170
00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:43,830
Come on, Kermit.
Hang in there, buddy.
1171
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:51,960
(GASPS)
1172
00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:54,970
Hey, who are you?
Why are you breathing on me?
1173
00:58:55,050 --> 00:58:57,180
You're alive!
Now I can save you.
1174
00:58:57,260 --> 00:59:00,510
Yeah, well, do me a favor and don't bother.
Nobody can save me.
1175
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:03,060
I think I can. You see,
my name is Daniel. Yeah.
1176
00:59:03,140 --> 00:59:07,020
And I've been sent from above in the
name of justice to right a wrong.
1177
00:59:07,100 --> 00:59:08,480
And help you get
the theater back.
1178
00:59:10,150 --> 00:59:13,190
You? You look like some kind of an
ice cream man from
Hello, Dolly!
1179
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:15,700
Well, normally I'm an accountant.
Yeah.
1180
00:59:15,780 --> 00:59:19,410
Well, normally I'd love to sit and listen to
this, but I've got other things on my mind.
1181
00:59:19,490 --> 00:59:20,490
Goodbye.
1182
00:59:20,580 --> 00:59:21,620
No, no,
you don't understand.
1183
00:59:21,700 --> 00:59:23,500
I know that Bitterman
changed the contract.
1184
00:59:23,580 --> 00:59:24,710
How do you know that?
1185
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:26,330
Wait a second. You
don't run one of those
1186
00:59:26,420 --> 00:59:28,250
Muppet Internet
fan sites, do you?
1187
00:59:28,330 --> 00:59:30,790
No, no, no. I'm a friend
and I'm here to help.
1188
00:59:31,340 --> 00:59:33,760
I'm sure if we put our heads together,
we could come up with a plan.
1189
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:35,090
Sure. Whatever.
1190
00:59:35,170 --> 00:59:36,720
What would the Boss do?
1191
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:40,680
Hey! We'll call the press. Alert the media!
Start a frenzy.
1192
00:59:40,760 --> 00:59:43,850
No way, pal. Bitterman owns the
paper, she owns the TV stations
1193
00:59:43,930 --> 00:59:45,310
and three-quarters
of the Internet.
1194
00:59:45,390 --> 00:59:47,100
How could one
person own so much?
1195
00:59:47,190 --> 00:59:49,690
Corporate synergy.
It's out of control.
1196
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:53,070
Now, could you please just
leave me alone? Please?
1197
00:59:53,150 --> 00:59:56,820
Actually, I'm not allowed to. Besides,
you should not be alone right now.
1198
00:59:56,900 --> 00:59:58,450
You're not yourself.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1199
00:59:58,530 --> 01:00:00,370
Kermit the Frog
would not walk out
1200
01:00:00,450 --> 01:00:01,780
on his friends
on Christmas Eve.
1201
01:00:01,870 --> 01:00:04,790
Walk out? What do you know
about my friends, huh?
1202
01:00:04,870 --> 01:00:07,710
I'll tell you what I know. My friends
will be better off without me,
1203
01:00:07,790 --> 01:00:08,830
that's what I know!
1204
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:10,250
What? That is not true.
1205
01:00:10,330 --> 01:00:13,550
It is true! It is true! In
fact, I've ruined their lives
1206
01:00:13,630 --> 01:00:15,420
and I wish I'd
never been born!
1207
01:00:16,050 --> 01:00:20,720
Oh! No. You did not just say that.
You did not just say that!
1208
01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:24,100
I did just say it. I said, I
wish I'd never been born!
1209
01:00:24,180 --> 01:00:25,520
What am I supposed to do now?
1210
01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:26,890
I wish
I'd never been born.
1211
01:00:27,980 --> 01:00:31,310
There, I said it again. I wish
I'd never been B-O-R-N, born!
1212
01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:32,690
I wish I'd never been born.
1213
01:00:32,770 --> 01:00:34,780
Chapter 12,
paragraph two.
1214
01:00:35,900 --> 01:00:38,280
"If the subject
tells the field agent
1215
01:00:38,360 --> 01:00:40,360
"that he had wished
he'd never been born..."
1216
01:00:40,450 --> 01:00:43,830
Psst! Psst! Come close.
I wish I'd never been born!
1217
01:00:43,910 --> 01:00:47,200
"...Then the field agent is required
to adjust the world accordingly."
1218
01:00:47,290 --> 01:00:49,160
Yeah, do whatever you like,
because, did I mention,
1219
01:00:49,250 --> 01:00:52,380
I wish I had
never been born!
1220
01:00:53,090 --> 01:00:55,170
Okay, calm down, Daniel.
1221
01:00:55,250 --> 01:00:59,380
I wish I'd never been born.
I wish I'd never been born.
1222
01:00:59,470 --> 01:01:00,720
What are you doing?
1223
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:02,800
Well, I saw this in
a training video once.
1224
01:01:02,890 --> 01:01:03,890
What?
1225
01:01:08,180 --> 01:01:11,390
Welcome to the world in
which you were never born.
1226
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:13,110
But how did...
1227
01:01:15,070 --> 01:01:19,150
Not ready is he. There
is no try, only do.
1228
01:01:19,950 --> 01:01:22,530
(EXCLAIMS)
Wrong world. Sorry.
1229
01:01:22,610 --> 01:01:23,700
Dan, how did you...
1230
01:01:23,780 --> 01:01:24,780
(GRUNTING)
1231
01:01:25,490 --> 01:01:26,830
What's the matter with you?
1232
01:01:27,790 --> 01:01:29,870
DANIEL: I'm sorry,
I had to do that.
1233
01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:32,870
But I'm just following procedure,
as outlined in the manual.
1234
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:35,630
(WOMAN ON PA)
Bitterman Plaza is now
closing for Christmas Eve. Thank you.
1235
01:01:35,710 --> 01:01:40,220
Welcome to the other world, the
world in which you were never born.
1236
01:01:40,300 --> 01:01:42,630
What happened
to the park?
1237
01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:46,220
Ms. Bitterman bulldozed
it and built this mall.
1238
01:01:46,300 --> 01:01:49,390
But how did, what did...
1239
01:01:49,470 --> 01:01:51,560
Wait a second, are you
some kind of a magician?
1240
01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:54,230
No, but I am a part-time
balloon animal artist.
1241
01:01:54,980 --> 01:01:58,190
You see, I take the balloons
and you twist them into...
1242
01:01:59,110 --> 01:02:02,990
I have no time for that now, Kermit.
This is a serious mission.
1243
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:09,620
"I will guide you through a mysterious
world. The journey will shock you. "
1244
01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:12,500
Hey. Hey.
1245
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:18,800
Leave me alone!
I am going home to pack
1246
01:02:18,880 --> 01:02:20,260
and say goodbye
to my friends.
1247
01:02:20,340 --> 01:02:21,670
Now, the joke's over.
1248
01:02:24,470 --> 01:02:26,390
Number one,
you don't have a home.
1249
01:02:26,470 --> 01:02:27,510
Well...
1250
01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:31,640
Number two, you don't have any friends
because you haven't been born.
1251
01:02:31,730 --> 01:02:32,770
But...
1252
01:02:32,850 --> 01:02:34,690
And number three.
I don't joke.
1253
01:02:35,100 --> 01:02:36,270
I've been told
I'm not funny.
1254
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:40,480
Really. That gag with the snow
in my face was hilarious. Gonzo?
1255
01:02:42,030 --> 01:02:43,320
I'm new at this.
1256
01:02:43,900 --> 01:02:47,240
Oh, Sir! Sir, if you could
just spare a second here.
1257
01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:50,700
I'm Gonzo, and this is
Amy the Dancing Brick.
1258
01:02:50,870 --> 01:02:52,000
And tonight...
Gonzo! Thank goodness.
1259
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:53,790
Hey, why aren't you
at the party?
1260
01:02:53,870 --> 01:02:56,250
Hey, look, buddy, I'm
trying to work here. Great.
1261
01:02:56,370 --> 01:02:58,630
What? That was my
only customer today.
1262
01:02:58,710 --> 01:03:00,380
Thanks a lot. Thank you.
What?
1263
01:03:01,210 --> 01:03:03,380
Now why don't you just run along?
Kermit. Come on, let's go.
1264
01:03:03,470 --> 01:03:05,880
I don't get it. Gonzo?
Bad luck guy for me.
1265
01:03:06,090 --> 01:03:07,090
(SIGHS)
1266
01:03:07,470 --> 01:03:08,470
I'm sorry, Amy.
1267
01:03:08,550 --> 01:03:12,140
I don't understand. I mean, Gonzo
acted like he didn't know me.
1268
01:03:12,220 --> 01:03:15,640
Yeah, because that was the Gonzo
from the Kermit-less world.
1269
01:03:15,730 --> 01:03:17,480
Hey, isn't that your
friend Rizzo on TV?
1270
01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:18,650
I'm afraid to look.
1271
01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:21,320
What? Rizzo
on
Fear Factor? How?
1272
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:22,820
Hey, Dawn,
for your next stunt,
1273
01:03:22,900 --> 01:03:25,740
you're gonna have to face off against
a filthy, disease-ridden rat.
1274
01:03:25,820 --> 01:03:27,490
Hey.
Are you ready?
1275
01:03:27,570 --> 01:03:28,820
All right, now,
if you pass this test,
1276
01:03:28,910 --> 01:03:30,700
you will then have to
eat the disgusting rat.
1277
01:03:30,780 --> 01:03:32,080
What?
Here we go.
1278
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:33,200
That was not
in my contract.
1279
01:03:33,290 --> 01:03:34,370
I'm gonna
release the divider.
1280
01:03:34,450 --> 01:03:36,830
Three, two, one. Go!
No, no, no, no, no.
1281
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:37,920
(SCREAMING)
1282
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:42,590
What a disgusting show. How
can NBC live with themselves?
1283
01:03:42,670 --> 01:03:45,720
It's worse than it seems. For
some reason, your not being born
1284
01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:49,720
has altered the world, so 90%
of network TV is reality shows.
1285
01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:51,550
DAWN:
Get me out of here! All
right, go ahead, eat the rat.
1286
01:03:52,060 --> 01:03:53,180
First bite's
the hardest part.
1287
01:03:53,430 --> 01:03:54,720
No!
Tastes just like chicken.
1288
01:03:54,810 --> 01:03:58,900
Poor Rizzo. I can't watch this.
This is a nightmare.
1289
01:03:59,230 --> 01:04:01,480
You weren't there to keep
your friends together, so...
1290
01:04:01,560 --> 01:04:05,440
Hey, do you hear music?
Is that the band?
1291
01:04:05,530 --> 01:04:06,780
(DISTANT MUSIC PLAYING)
1292
01:04:12,530 --> 01:04:14,830
Okay, let me see
my spesh, fluffy.
1293
01:04:17,790 --> 01:04:21,380
Wait a second, you guys are the
Mayhem Band. You're not Riverdancers.
1294
01:04:21,460 --> 01:04:23,210
Out of the way,
before you get stomped.
1295
01:04:23,300 --> 01:04:26,050
And besides, what are you
doing out of the kitchen?
1296
01:04:26,130 --> 01:04:28,720
Shouldn't you be on some number
two plate special or something?
1297
01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:30,390
What are you talking about?
1298
01:04:30,470 --> 01:04:32,100
Over there, short stack.
1299
01:04:35,020 --> 01:04:36,430
KERMIT: DocHopper's.
1300
01:04:42,150 --> 01:04:43,230
Are you a dancer?
1301
01:04:47,320 --> 01:04:49,950
No. It can't be.
1302
01:04:56,950 --> 01:04:58,870
Oh, dear.
1303
01:05:03,290 --> 01:05:05,880
I'm sorry, Kermit.
Kermit?
1304
01:05:09,260 --> 01:05:10,260
(GASPS)
1305
01:05:11,760 --> 01:05:13,680
DANIEL: Yep.
The Muppet Theater.
1306
01:05:15,350 --> 01:05:17,680
Do you wanna see how that
turned out without you?
1307
01:05:24,020 --> 01:05:27,440
Oh, Dr. Honeydew! Dr. Honeydew!
Please tell me you know me.
1308
01:05:27,530 --> 01:05:29,280
Please tell me this is
still the Muppet Theater.
1309
01:05:29,360 --> 01:05:33,820
Muppet Theater? Can't you read, lizard?
This is Dot.
1310
01:05:35,870 --> 01:05:37,040
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING)
1311
01:05:56,600 --> 01:05:58,260
(CLUB MUSIC PLAYING)
1312
01:06:03,270 --> 01:06:04,350
Oh, no.
1313
01:06:08,110 --> 01:06:09,230
This is a nightmare.
1314
01:06:09,320 --> 01:06:11,150
Now do you believe that you
haven't been born yet?
1315
01:06:11,240 --> 01:06:12,570
I'm starting to.
1316
01:06:12,740 --> 01:06:14,110
JOHNNY: Hey, Ms. Bitterman.
1317
01:06:14,200 --> 01:06:15,320
Here you go, dear.
1318
01:06:15,410 --> 01:06:16,780
Oh, thank you, Johnny.
1319
01:06:16,870 --> 01:06:19,410
All right. Hey,
listen, boss, by the way,
1320
01:06:19,490 --> 01:06:21,330
these two deadbeats
over here,
1321
01:06:21,410 --> 01:06:24,000
they stopped buying drinks for
the girls about an hour ago.
1322
01:06:24,080 --> 01:06:25,250
Is that true?
1323
01:06:25,330 --> 01:06:26,460
We've been
buying all night.
1324
01:06:26,540 --> 01:06:28,040
Yeah, we're going broke!
Yeah.
1325
01:06:28,130 --> 01:06:29,840
They're lying.
1326
01:06:30,510 --> 01:06:33,680
I think it's time for you
two to hit the road.
1327
01:06:33,760 --> 01:06:34,760
What?
1328
01:06:35,390 --> 01:06:36,720
(CRASHING)
1329
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:38,640
How about another?
1330
01:06:38,720 --> 01:06:39,930
You better believe it.
1331
01:06:41,770 --> 01:06:43,230
Ms. Bitterman?
Yes?
1332
01:06:43,310 --> 01:06:44,850
We're all out
of mineral water.
1333
01:06:44,940 --> 01:06:49,110
Then find some empty bottles
and fill it with tap water.
1334
01:06:49,190 --> 01:06:50,360
But...
1335
01:06:50,940 --> 01:06:52,110
(GLASS SHATTERING)
1336
01:06:52,570 --> 01:06:55,110
Ms. Bitterman! Not only have
you ruined the Muppet Theater,
1337
01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:56,530
you've also
ruined the Muppets!
1338
01:06:56,610 --> 01:07:00,200
Thank you. Customer feedback
is very important to us.
1339
01:07:00,290 --> 01:07:02,620
I will certainly
consider your input.
1340
01:07:03,750 --> 01:07:06,880
Wait a second.
Beaker, you're all swollen.
1341
01:07:08,210 --> 01:07:09,790
Could we talk about this?
1342
01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:11,170
(KERMIT SCREAMING)
1343
01:07:22,560 --> 01:07:24,100
I managed to get
my hand stamped.
1344
01:07:24,180 --> 01:07:25,810
Lick your hand and we'll
try to get back in.
1345
01:07:25,890 --> 01:07:27,020
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
1346
01:07:31,360 --> 01:07:34,990
You guys okay?
There you go.
1347
01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:37,320
Fozzie?
1348
01:07:37,410 --> 01:07:38,410
Yeah?
1349
01:07:38,490 --> 01:07:41,240
You probably don't
recognize me, do you?
1350
01:07:41,330 --> 01:07:45,080
No. But this is Christmas Eve and
it looks like you could use a hand.
1351
01:07:46,160 --> 01:07:48,250
Your kindness means
a lot to me right now.
1352
01:07:48,330 --> 01:07:54,510
Yeah, well, always help
a stranger! Bye.
1353
01:07:54,840 --> 01:07:56,130
(LAUGHING)
1354
01:07:57,680 --> 01:08:00,550
Well, he's acting
a little strange.
1355
01:08:00,640 --> 01:08:02,970
But, gee, it's good to know
Fozzie turned out basically okay.
1356
01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:06,730
Yeah, if being
a pickpocket is okay.
1357
01:08:08,310 --> 01:08:11,060
He took my wallet.
Unbelievable.
1358
01:08:11,150 --> 01:08:14,150
And you don't even have pockets.
Even more unbelievable.
1359
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:19,160
Yeah, but how could things
be this bad without me?
1360
01:08:20,030 --> 01:08:23,370
I guess someone like you makes a
big difference in a lot of lives.
1361
01:08:25,370 --> 01:08:28,960
But I'm just one frog.
1362
01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:33,800
You know what? I think there's
someone else you should see.
1363
01:08:37,050 --> 01:08:38,550
Piggy.
1364
01:08:49,730 --> 01:08:51,150
She lives in this sty?
1365
01:08:52,060 --> 01:08:54,570
Yeah. Apartment 217.
1366
01:08:56,230 --> 01:08:58,950
Here. You better take these.
1367
01:09:12,830 --> 01:09:14,130
MISS PIGGY: Who is it?
1368
01:09:15,920 --> 01:09:18,970
My name is Kermit.
Kermit the Frog.
1369
01:09:19,050 --> 01:09:20,260
(DOOR LATCHES OPENING)
1370
01:09:25,310 --> 01:09:26,310
Who?
1371
01:09:26,430 --> 01:09:27,430
(GASPS)
1372
01:09:27,930 --> 01:09:29,060
(SIGHS)
1373
01:09:29,770 --> 01:09:31,140
Well, someone
you used to know.
1374
01:09:32,600 --> 01:09:36,270
Yes, of course. It's all
coming back to me now.
1375
01:09:38,990 --> 01:09:42,860
Wait right there.
Out of my way.
1376
01:09:42,950 --> 01:09:43,950
(CAT SCREECHING)
1377
01:09:44,030 --> 01:09:45,030
Sorry.
1378
01:09:45,780 --> 01:09:47,080
(CRASHING)
1379
01:09:50,790 --> 01:09:51,910
(GIGGLES)
1380
01:09:53,210 --> 01:09:54,210
Piggy?
1381
01:09:54,290 --> 01:09:55,290
Korwin?
1382
01:09:55,710 --> 01:09:59,460
It's been so long
since we met at...
You brought candy!
1383
01:10:01,170 --> 01:10:02,300
Let's see what's in here.
1384
01:10:02,430 --> 01:10:03,430
(EXCLAIMING)
1385
01:10:05,140 --> 01:10:09,850
Creamy, creamy.
Fudge center. Nuts!
1386
01:10:11,890 --> 01:10:14,440
Piggy, Merry Christmas.
1387
01:10:14,520 --> 01:10:16,520
I can see you
really like cats.
1388
01:10:17,980 --> 01:10:19,190
Doesn't everyone?
1389
01:10:19,280 --> 01:10:20,280
Hmm?
1390
01:10:21,650 --> 01:10:23,820
So... Make yourself comfortable.
Have a seat.
1391
01:10:23,910 --> 01:10:25,160
MISS PIGGY: Somewhere.
Thank you.
1392
01:10:26,490 --> 01:10:29,870
You look good.
1393
01:10:30,660 --> 01:10:32,290
What are you up to?
1394
01:10:32,370 --> 01:10:35,580
Well, actually,
I do quite a lot of acting.
1395
01:10:35,670 --> 01:10:36,710
Really.
1396
01:10:36,790 --> 01:10:39,300
Mmm-hmm. Of course, I do
most of it from here now.
1397
01:10:39,500 --> 01:10:40,670
(PHONE RINGING)
1398
01:10:45,180 --> 01:10:46,840
Your phone.
1399
01:10:48,050 --> 01:10:49,100
(CHATTERING)
1400
01:10:49,180 --> 01:10:50,260
Excuse me.
1401
01:10:50,350 --> 01:10:51,390
Sure.
1402
01:10:53,890 --> 01:10:55,850
Hello, darling.
Nice kitty.
1403
01:10:55,940 --> 01:10:58,690
Miss Piggy knows
the answers you seek.
1404
01:10:58,770 --> 01:11:00,400
Miss Piggy's for
entertainment purposes only.
1405
01:11:00,480 --> 01:11:03,150
You must be 18 or older, $2.99 a
minute, local tolls may apply.
1406
01:11:03,240 --> 01:11:05,150
Piggy, what are you doing?
You're not Jamaican.
1407
01:11:05,240 --> 01:11:09,200
Yeah, well, I'm not psychic, either.
Now, as I was saying...
1408
01:11:09,580 --> 01:11:13,960
Hello? Hello? Oh, great.
You just lost me a gig!
1409
01:11:14,040 --> 01:11:16,370
Yeah, yeah. But, Piggy,
that's not real acting.
1410
01:11:16,460 --> 01:11:18,380
That's deceiving
people for money.
1411
01:11:18,460 --> 01:11:22,300
No. You're not a cop, are you? 'Cause
if you are, you have to tell me.
1412
01:11:22,380 --> 01:11:24,510
No, no, no.
No, I'm just a friend.
1413
01:11:24,590 --> 01:11:28,430
Look, what do you say you and I go out
for a nice Christmas dinner, huh?
1414
01:11:28,510 --> 01:11:30,600
But, but what about
my babies?
1415
01:11:30,680 --> 01:11:34,810
I mean, I still have to wrap Mr.
Meow-Meow's present. Meow-Meow.
1416
01:11:36,440 --> 01:11:39,230
Besides, I look terrible.
1417
01:11:39,650 --> 01:11:43,740
Oh, Piggy. Are you crazy?
You always look beautiful.
1418
01:11:44,900 --> 01:11:46,650
You've got more
beauty and talent
1419
01:11:46,740 --> 01:11:49,740
than any supermodel
or movie star I know.
1420
01:11:50,660 --> 01:11:56,960
It's true, I once had dreams of going
to Hollywood and becoming a big star,
1421
01:11:57,960 --> 01:12:02,300
but they were just dreams.
Silly dreams. (CHUCKLES)
1422
01:12:05,260 --> 01:12:06,260
(SNIFFLING)
1423
01:12:07,590 --> 01:12:09,090
Oh, Piggy.
1424
01:12:10,930 --> 01:12:12,050
I think you should
leave now.
1425
01:12:12,140 --> 01:12:13,180
What?
1426
01:12:13,770 --> 01:12:16,140
Big day tomorrow.
Lots to do.
1427
01:12:16,230 --> 01:12:17,480
Yeah, but wait.
1428
01:12:17,560 --> 01:12:19,400
Clean, decorate,
bake the Christmas cry...
1429
01:12:19,690 --> 01:12:20,690
Pie.
1430
01:12:23,270 --> 01:12:25,030
What? I'm not pathetic!
1431
01:12:25,110 --> 01:12:26,150
No.
1432
01:12:26,240 --> 01:12:28,030
I still have my phone acting.
1433
01:12:28,110 --> 01:12:30,740
It's just that kitties and
I want you to leave now.
1434
01:12:30,820 --> 01:12:33,200
Yes, Piggy, I heard you.
Leave! Did you hear me?
1435
01:12:33,280 --> 01:12:34,700
But, but it's just a...
Scram! Vamoose!
1436
01:12:34,790 --> 01:12:36,700
Look, but, Piggy. Piggy.
I said out!
1437
01:12:39,790 --> 01:12:40,790
(GROANING)
1438
01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:43,460
MISS PIGGY: And take
your chocolates, too!
1439
01:12:44,420 --> 01:12:45,420
(DOOR CLOSING)
1440
01:12:46,840 --> 01:12:49,090
On second thought,
I'll take these.
1441
01:12:54,310 --> 01:12:55,720
(MISS PIGGY CRYING)
1442
01:13:02,310 --> 01:13:07,820
KERMIT: Daniel?
Daniel? Daniel.
1443
01:13:09,570 --> 01:13:13,240
Daniel? Daniel,
where are you?
1444
01:13:14,490 --> 01:13:20,750
Daniel! Daniel, where are you?
I want my life back, please!
1445
01:13:21,710 --> 01:13:22,920
Daniel?
1446
01:13:29,340 --> 01:13:32,590
(SINGING)
I feel
so small and useless
1447
01:13:32,680 --> 01:13:35,510
Ambiguous and clueless
1448
01:13:36,060 --> 01:13:40,770
I just can't seem
to get anything right
1449
01:13:42,730 --> 01:13:48,230
I feel so invisible tonight
1450
01:13:49,690 --> 01:13:55,620
All the plastic Santas
doing hula dances
1451
01:13:56,530 --> 01:14:01,410
remind me that I don't belong
1452
01:14:03,250 --> 01:14:06,040
All the fake snow falling
1453
01:14:06,840 --> 01:14:09,340
And my friends not calling
1454
01:14:10,130 --> 01:14:15,050
Leave me
nothing but this song
1455
01:14:16,050 --> 01:14:20,220
On the most
miserable Christmas
1456
01:14:20,310 --> 01:14:23,140
Of my life
1457
01:14:23,230 --> 01:14:29,440
The most miserable, horrible,
obnoxious, intolerable Christmas
1458
01:14:31,070 --> 01:14:34,450
Hey, don't give up. You just
haven't found the right audience.
1459
01:14:35,410 --> 01:14:36,570
(SIGHS)
1460
01:14:36,990 --> 01:14:38,910
I'm so tired of scrounging.
1461
01:14:41,580 --> 01:14:43,830
I've had my chance.
1462
01:14:43,920 --> 01:14:46,710
(SINGING)
If only
I could go back
1463
01:14:47,170 --> 01:14:50,300
And take another crack at
1464
01:14:50,380 --> 01:14:53,340
All the things
I've left undone
1465
01:14:53,420 --> 01:14:55,050
I'd do them right
1466
01:14:57,220 --> 01:15:02,140
If I had my friends
and family here tonight
1467
01:15:03,350 --> 01:15:06,520
I'd have the most
wonderful Christmas
1468
01:15:07,770 --> 01:15:10,440
Of my life
1469
01:15:11,110 --> 01:15:14,280
Everyone matters
1470
01:15:14,360 --> 01:15:17,160
Everyone matters
1471
01:15:17,240 --> 01:15:20,580
Even the smallest
of the smallest
1472
01:15:20,660 --> 01:15:23,500
Can make the biggest
dreams come true
1473
01:15:24,660 --> 01:15:26,540
Everyone matters
1474
01:15:26,620 --> 01:15:28,380
Everyone matters
1475
01:15:28,460 --> 01:15:30,840
For worse or for better
1476
01:15:30,920 --> 01:15:34,470
We can change
the world around us
1477
01:15:34,550 --> 01:15:38,010
With everything we do
1478
01:15:39,100 --> 01:15:41,850
Even you
1479
01:15:42,470 --> 01:15:45,310
Even me
1480
01:15:45,980 --> 01:15:48,400
You and me
1481
01:15:54,240 --> 01:15:55,570
Yeah.
1482
01:16:01,370 --> 01:16:03,740
Thanks, pal.
What was your name?
1483
01:16:03,830 --> 01:16:04,870
Kermit.
1484
01:16:04,950 --> 01:16:05,910
Kermit.
Mmm-hmm.
1485
01:16:06,000 --> 01:16:07,920
Well, have a great
Christmas, Kermit.
1486
01:16:08,000 --> 01:16:08,960
Thanks.
1487
01:16:09,040 --> 01:16:10,710
I'll see you around
the mall sometime.
1488
01:16:12,340 --> 01:16:13,750
Yeah, right.
1489
01:16:15,550 --> 01:16:18,880
So long, Gonzo.
Merry Christmas.
1490
01:16:24,680 --> 01:16:28,190
Kermit, I'm sorry I couldn't
help you save the theater.
1491
01:16:28,690 --> 01:16:30,560
I guess I wasn't
much help at all.
1492
01:16:31,020 --> 01:16:33,230
You know, the theater's
just a building.
1493
01:16:33,320 --> 01:16:35,440
I mean, I just want
to get my life back.
1494
01:16:35,530 --> 01:16:37,490
All I care about is being
with my friends again.
1495
01:16:39,610 --> 01:16:40,870
What's wrong?
1496
01:16:41,370 --> 01:16:43,490
Kermit, I don't know
how to tell you this,
1497
01:16:43,620 --> 01:16:45,750
but I don't know how
to get your life back.
1498
01:16:46,040 --> 01:16:48,250
What do you mean?
Are you saying
1499
01:16:48,330 --> 01:16:50,330
I'm stuck this
way here like this?
1500
01:16:50,420 --> 01:16:52,130
Well, you see,
I've never done this before.
1501
01:16:52,210 --> 01:16:54,170
Yeah, but I can't
leave my friends like this.
1502
01:16:54,250 --> 01:16:56,460
There must be something
in your book or something.
1503
01:16:56,550 --> 01:16:59,430
Well, you see, it really doesn't go
into a lot of detail on the subject.
1504
01:16:59,510 --> 01:17:04,260
No, but I wish I'd never said
I wish I'd never been born.
1505
01:17:04,350 --> 01:17:07,730
I wish I'd never said that!
How could I have said that?
1506
01:17:08,180 --> 01:17:10,640
I could have just said, "Kermit,
you're having a bad day," maybe,
1507
01:17:10,730 --> 01:17:12,940
or, "Kermit, maybe things
aren't quite going your way."
1508
01:17:13,020 --> 01:17:16,400
But, no! No! I had to say,
"I wish I'd never been born!"
1509
01:17:16,480 --> 01:17:19,950
How selfish! It's ridiculously selfish.
(PHONE RINGING)
1510
01:17:20,030 --> 01:17:22,450
And I'm stuck here in this reality,
along with all my friends.
1511
01:17:22,530 --> 01:17:23,660
Hello?
1512
01:17:23,740 --> 01:17:24,870
I don't believe this.
1513
01:17:24,950 --> 01:17:26,160
Yes?
How am I ever gonna get back?
1514
01:17:26,240 --> 01:17:28,450
What a ridiculous thing to do!
Yes.
1515
01:17:28,540 --> 01:17:29,910
I give up.
I can?
1516
01:17:31,460 --> 01:17:33,330
That's great!
How could this happen?
1517
01:17:33,420 --> 01:17:37,210
Oh. Well, that's
a little weird. Okay.
1518
01:17:37,510 --> 01:17:38,590
I don't believe this.
Thank you.
1519
01:17:39,470 --> 01:17:43,180
Kermit, Kermit.
I can send you back.
1520
01:17:43,260 --> 01:17:49,180
I appreciate your help, Daniel,
but there's... What? You can?
1521
01:17:49,270 --> 01:17:50,310
Yeah.
1522
01:17:50,390 --> 01:17:51,770
Well, that's terrific!
That's great!
1523
01:17:52,390 --> 01:17:55,730
But it's a little strange.
1524
01:17:55,820 --> 01:17:59,150
Listen, whatever it takes. Just do it.
I'm ready. Just do it.
1525
01:17:59,240 --> 01:18:00,900
Okay.
Yeah? Yeah?
1526
01:18:01,990 --> 01:18:03,030
(SPITTING)
1527
01:18:03,110 --> 01:18:05,120
That's disgusting.
1528
01:18:08,580 --> 01:18:11,710
The park!
It's back! I'm back!
1529
01:18:11,790 --> 01:18:14,290
And, and I've got spit in my
eye, but I don't even care.
1530
01:18:14,380 --> 01:18:15,670
You did it, Daniel!
1531
01:18:15,750 --> 01:18:17,000
(CHEERING)
Yes, I did.
1532
01:18:17,090 --> 01:18:19,380
Yes, thank you,
thank you, thank you!
1533
01:18:19,460 --> 01:18:22,170
Well, don't thank me. Just,
please, go be with your friends.
1534
01:18:22,260 --> 01:18:24,260
Right! I'll go be
with my friends!
1535
01:18:26,050 --> 01:18:28,600
Hey, Daniel? Is there
anything I could do for you?
1536
01:18:28,930 --> 01:18:32,230
Well, as a matter of fact, if
you found my visit helpful,
1537
01:18:32,310 --> 01:18:36,190
you could tell my boss by filling
out this customer survey.
1538
01:18:36,270 --> 01:18:38,480
It will really help
when I come up for a review.
1539
01:18:38,570 --> 01:18:41,440
Daniel, you've done more
than you could ever know.
1540
01:18:42,030 --> 01:18:44,070
Thanks. Come here, you.
1541
01:18:44,160 --> 01:18:45,160
(LAUGHING)
1542
01:18:45,990 --> 01:18:49,700
(CHOKING) Daniel. Daniel, not quite
so tight. Not quite so tight. Yeah.
1543
01:18:49,790 --> 01:18:51,080
Yeah, sorry.
I'm just really happy.
1544
01:18:51,160 --> 01:18:52,370
No, it's okay, really.
1545
01:18:52,450 --> 01:18:53,790
Yeah. Thanks. Bye-bye.
1546
01:18:53,870 --> 01:18:54,920
Bye.
1547
01:18:55,920 --> 01:18:56,920
Kermit.
1548
01:18:57,330 --> 01:18:58,420
Whoo-hoo!
1549
01:18:58,670 --> 01:19:00,000
I'll mail it to you.
1550
01:19:01,590 --> 01:19:03,470
Thank you, Daniel,
thank you!
1551
01:19:04,470 --> 01:19:05,430
(WHOOPING)
1552
01:19:05,510 --> 01:19:06,550
(LAUGHING)
1553
01:19:06,640 --> 01:19:11,720
I'm back! Boy, this is great!
Thank you, Daniel!
1554
01:19:15,060 --> 01:19:16,190
Whoo-hoo!
1555
01:19:18,190 --> 01:19:20,860
Merry Christmas, everyone.
I am back!
1556
01:19:20,940 --> 01:19:21,940
(ALL EXCLAIM)
1557
01:19:22,110 --> 01:19:25,990
I'm back! Look!
I'm back! I'm back!
1558
01:19:26,070 --> 01:19:28,370
This is wonderful,
Merry Christmas!
1559
01:19:28,990 --> 01:19:32,040
Looks like somebody's been
drinking a little too much eggnog.
1560
01:19:32,950 --> 01:19:35,000
The only thing I drank
was a shot of reality
1561
01:19:35,080 --> 01:19:37,250
and a big glass
of appreciation!
1562
01:19:37,420 --> 01:19:38,960
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
1563
01:19:42,550 --> 01:19:44,170
An appreciation
of everything,
1564
01:19:44,260 --> 01:19:46,800
from Gonzo's nose
to Piggy's beauty.
1565
01:19:47,840 --> 01:19:49,680
Rowlf, it's really you.
Hey, Kermit.
1566
01:19:49,760 --> 01:19:53,100
Hey, Piggy, wow. Hey, you still
got that mistletoe? Huh?
1567
01:19:53,180 --> 01:19:54,480
I'm not talking
to
vous. Hmm!
1568
01:19:54,560 --> 01:19:57,600
Oh, come on, you don't need
mistletoe when you're green.
1569
01:19:57,690 --> 01:19:59,060
What?
1570
01:19:59,360 --> 01:20:00,360
(KISSING)
1571
01:20:01,230 --> 01:20:03,030
MISS PIGGY: What are you doing?
Yeah, he's drunk all right.
1572
01:20:03,230 --> 01:20:04,990
Kissing a pig on
the chops like that?
1573
01:20:08,570 --> 01:20:09,950
Beauregard!
1574
01:20:11,450 --> 01:20:12,490
Did you see that?
Yeah.
1575
01:20:12,580 --> 01:20:15,580
Did you see it? Kermie kissed me!
He kissed me!
1576
01:20:15,660 --> 01:20:18,080
Oh! My dreams
just came true.
1577
01:20:18,460 --> 01:20:19,540
(CRASHING)
1578
01:20:19,630 --> 01:20:20,630
(LAUGHING)
1579
01:20:22,960 --> 01:20:26,670
MISS PIGGY: Don't worry, my fall
was cushioned by Kermit's love.
1580
01:20:26,760 --> 01:20:30,140
Yeah, I hope Kermit's
love can fix my tuba.
1581
01:20:30,260 --> 01:20:34,600
No problem, Eugene. You bet. And Merry
Christmas, Eugene. Merry Christmas.
1582
01:20:37,770 --> 01:20:39,190
Fozzie?
1583
01:20:40,350 --> 01:20:43,230
Any second now, I know you'll
remember how I let you down.
1584
01:20:43,820 --> 01:20:46,780
I understand if you never
wanna speak to me again.
1585
01:20:47,440 --> 01:20:49,660
(SIGHS)
I feel so useless.
1586
01:20:49,740 --> 01:20:51,240
Oh, Fozzie,
are you kidding?
1587
01:20:51,320 --> 01:20:54,080
Our friendship is a lot more
important than any old theater.
1588
01:20:54,160 --> 01:20:55,620
Really?
Really.
1589
01:20:55,910 --> 01:20:58,410
Thank you, Kermit, thank you!
You bet.
1590
01:20:58,790 --> 01:21:02,210
But why are you so happy?
We just lost everything.
1591
01:21:02,290 --> 01:21:03,960
I'll tell you why
I'm happy, folks.
1592
01:21:04,040 --> 01:21:05,750
Because tonight,
I realized that it's not
1593
01:21:05,840 --> 01:21:07,550
that horrible that
we lost the theater.
1594
01:21:07,630 --> 01:21:09,090
Well, that's good,
because we lost it.
1595
01:21:09,170 --> 01:21:11,720
Yeah, yeah, but you see, guys,
what really matters is...
1596
01:21:11,800 --> 01:21:13,140
MS. BITTERMAN: Money!
1597
01:21:15,640 --> 01:21:17,850
That's right, I said money.
1598
01:21:19,350 --> 01:21:22,270
Let's face it,
Frog, money talks.
1599
01:21:22,940 --> 01:21:25,650
Let's hear what it
has to say, shall we?
1600
01:21:26,150 --> 01:21:30,490
Could everybody please
pack up and get out
1601
01:21:30,570 --> 01:21:32,990
so Ms. Bitterman
can gut this place?
1602
01:21:33,070 --> 01:21:35,700
Ms. Bitterman, this
theater is not yours yet.
1603
01:21:35,780 --> 01:21:37,750
ALL: Yeah! That's right!
Yeah.
1604
01:21:37,830 --> 01:21:39,910
Yeah! So get out or
I'll throw you out.
1605
01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:42,920
Oh! This little
piggy's feeling brave.
1606
01:21:43,000 --> 01:21:47,420
And this little piggy's going to
kick your skinny, banking butt!
1607
01:21:47,500 --> 01:21:49,920
Oh! Skinny. Thank you.
1608
01:21:50,010 --> 01:21:54,350
It's too bad I can't say the
same for you, Miss Porky.
1609
01:21:55,350 --> 01:21:56,470
Porky?
1610
01:21:56,560 --> 01:21:57,600
Here it comes.
1611
01:21:57,680 --> 01:21:59,350
That does it.
1612
01:22:00,600 --> 01:22:01,640
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
1613
01:22:01,730 --> 01:22:02,730
Hmm.
1614
01:22:06,270 --> 01:22:07,900
You did not just do that.
1615
01:22:11,700 --> 01:22:12,700
(GROWLING)
1616
01:22:17,950 --> 01:22:19,160
(MARTIAL ART CRIES)
1617
01:22:22,160 --> 01:22:24,040
Oh, I see.
1618
01:22:34,390 --> 01:22:35,800
So, you want a piece of me?
1619
01:22:38,640 --> 01:22:41,980
ALL: Go. Go, Piggy!
Go, Piggy, come on.
1620
01:22:42,060 --> 01:22:44,770
I see you are very
agile for a plus-size pig.
1621
01:22:47,060 --> 01:22:48,360
Oh, my goodness.
1622
01:22:48,730 --> 01:22:51,280
And you will be very unattractive
with a plus-size lip.
1623
01:22:51,740 --> 01:22:53,150
I'll give you
5 bucks on the pig.
1624
01:22:53,240 --> 01:22:54,490
Make that 10!
1625
01:22:54,570 --> 01:22:55,570
(LAUGHING)
1626
01:22:56,450 --> 01:22:58,240
KERMIT: Don't take that.
Get her, Piggy!
1627
01:22:59,240 --> 01:23:00,700
(MS. BITTERMAN GRUNTING)
1628
01:23:01,410 --> 01:23:02,620
(MISS PIGGY MOCKING)
1629
01:23:03,660 --> 01:23:06,210
That's not good,
that's not good.
1630
01:23:06,290 --> 01:23:07,290
(ALL EXCLAIM)
1631
01:23:10,130 --> 01:23:12,800
Now, listen.
Everyone calm down.
1632
01:23:12,880 --> 01:23:14,430
Violence won't
solve anything.
1633
01:23:14,510 --> 01:23:16,550
And Ms. Bitterman
may take our theater,
1634
01:23:16,640 --> 01:23:18,930
but she can never touch the
Muppet Theater in our hearts.
1635
01:23:19,010 --> 01:23:20,470
Yes. Yeah.
Right.
1636
01:23:20,560 --> 01:23:23,600
Well, that's fortunate because I don't
want the theater in your hearts.
1637
01:23:23,680 --> 01:23:26,690
No? I want the theater
that exists in reality.
1638
01:23:26,770 --> 01:23:30,110
Now if you all
wouldn't mind, clear out!
1639
01:23:30,230 --> 01:23:31,400
(PEPE SCATTING)
1640
01:23:33,440 --> 01:23:36,530
Look, everyone. Look.
I got some good news, okay.
1641
01:23:36,610 --> 01:23:39,910
Unless, of course, you are a sexy
banker lady, then it sucks, okay.
1642
01:23:39,990 --> 01:23:41,450
I'm really worried.
Peepee's got...
1643
01:23:41,540 --> 01:23:42,540
Pepe.
1644
01:23:42,620 --> 01:23:45,080
Pepe, Peepee's got
some bad news.
1645
01:23:45,160 --> 01:23:46,830
What, are we out
of toenail polish?
1646
01:23:46,920 --> 01:23:53,090
No. I took the monies you pay me and file
for a special permit with the city, okay.
1647
01:23:53,170 --> 01:23:57,380
The Muppet Theater is now an
official historical landmark, okay.
1648
01:23:57,470 --> 01:23:58,760
Historical landmark!
1649
01:23:58,840 --> 01:24:00,140
ALL: Wow!
1650
01:24:00,220 --> 01:24:01,220
Historical landmark?
1651
01:24:01,310 --> 01:24:02,350
So are we!
1652
01:24:03,680 --> 01:24:06,810
The theater can never be
torn down or changed.
1653
01:24:06,890 --> 01:24:09,560
It will always remain
the Muppet Theater, okay.
1654
01:24:09,650 --> 01:24:10,810
No matter who owns it.
1655
01:24:10,900 --> 01:24:12,650
ALL: That's great. Yeah.
1656
01:24:14,990 --> 01:24:16,650
Read it and weep, okay.
1657
01:24:17,490 --> 01:24:21,830
Seriously, if you could start weeping
we'd all appreciate seeing this, okay.
1658
01:24:22,160 --> 01:24:24,700
Wow, Pepe, that was
brave and selfless.
1659
01:24:24,790 --> 01:24:31,080
It was, but when you can help
friends and get revenge on enemies,
1660
01:24:31,170 --> 01:24:34,050
isn't that what Christmas
is all about, okay.
1661
01:24:34,380 --> 01:24:35,420
(ALL LAUGHING)
1662
01:24:35,510 --> 01:24:37,510
I can't believe this!
1663
01:24:37,590 --> 01:24:41,550
How am I gonna make money off
this junky building now?
1664
01:24:41,640 --> 01:24:43,680
This is the worst
Christmas ever.
1665
01:24:43,760 --> 01:24:45,680
Or is it the best
Christmas ever?
1666
01:24:45,770 --> 01:24:49,690
Why, with an infusion of cash from you,
we could add seats to the balcony,
1667
01:24:49,810 --> 01:24:54,320
advertise, and then put on some
really spanking profitable shows!
1668
01:24:54,440 --> 01:24:55,440
(HISSING)
1669
01:24:55,690 --> 01:25:01,240
No! No! I hate you Muffins!
1670
01:25:02,160 --> 01:25:03,700
Good Lord.
No!
1671
01:25:06,250 --> 01:25:08,580
No kidding.
I was frightened.
1672
01:25:09,540 --> 01:25:11,830
Out of my way!
1673
01:25:11,920 --> 01:25:13,790
And merry humbug
to you there, grumpy.
1674
01:25:13,880 --> 01:25:15,340
You Muffins are
absolutely ridiculous!
1675
01:25:15,460 --> 01:25:17,300
You're nothing! Hey, we're
all singing Christmas carols
1676
01:25:17,380 --> 01:25:20,970
outside and it's snowing and
it's real pretty. Wanna come?
1677
01:25:21,050 --> 01:25:24,260
ALL: Yeah! Come on,
come on, let's go.
1678
01:25:24,350 --> 01:25:27,220
FOZZIE: Christmas carols,
come on. Let's sing, come on.
1679
01:25:27,310 --> 01:25:31,350
(ALL SINGING)
We wish you a merry
Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas
1680
01:25:31,560 --> 01:25:33,650
We wish you a merry Christmas
1681
01:25:33,730 --> 01:25:35,650
And a happy new year
1682
01:25:35,730 --> 01:25:39,700
Good tidings we bring
to you and your kin
1683
01:25:39,780 --> 01:25:45,870
Good tidings for Christmas
and a happy new year
1684
01:25:48,830 --> 01:25:49,830
(GASPS)
1685
01:25:49,910 --> 01:25:53,290
Heavens, this is
our best year ever.
1686
01:25:54,420 --> 01:25:59,460
Whoa! Merry Christmas. Someone
up there is looking out for us.
1687
01:26:05,010 --> 01:26:08,470
Amazing. I failed on my mission
to get justice for Kermit,
1688
01:26:08,560 --> 01:26:10,350
yet everything
managed to work out.
1689
01:26:11,270 --> 01:26:13,770
Do you think maybe
Kermit never needed
1690
01:26:13,850 --> 01:26:16,520
revenge or justice
or even the theater?
1691
01:26:17,860 --> 01:26:20,490
Yeah, but what did he need?
1692
01:26:21,240 --> 01:26:22,860
What do you think
he needed?
1693
01:26:22,950 --> 01:26:24,280
I asked you first.
1694
01:26:24,990 --> 01:26:26,280
Yes, but I'm the Boss.
1695
01:26:26,370 --> 01:26:28,450
Yeah, but I don't
know the answer.
1696
01:26:29,450 --> 01:26:33,170
People just really need to
know what matters in life,
1697
01:26:33,250 --> 01:26:36,540
and you opened Kermit's eyes and
showed him what he already had.
1698
01:26:37,170 --> 01:26:38,840
People don't need
my intervention.
1699
01:26:38,920 --> 01:26:40,800
If people don't
need your intervention,
1700
01:26:40,880 --> 01:26:43,050
then how come
The Salvation Army
1701
01:26:43,130 --> 01:26:44,510
ended up with all the money,
1702
01:26:44,590 --> 01:26:46,220
the Muppets got to
keep their theater
1703
01:26:46,300 --> 01:26:49,180
and Bitterman ended up with
nothing except her own greed?
1704
01:26:50,770 --> 01:26:54,480
Danny-L, I work
in mysterious ways.
1705
01:26:57,480 --> 01:26:59,480
Well, on behalf of
the Muppets, thank you.
1706
01:27:13,000 --> 01:27:16,290
(ALL SINGING)
Everyone matters
1707
01:27:16,380 --> 01:27:19,040
Everyone matters
1708
01:27:19,130 --> 01:27:22,340
Even the weakest
of the meekest
1709
01:27:22,420 --> 01:27:25,680
Can change
the course of history
1710
01:27:26,390 --> 01:27:29,760
Everyone matters
KERMIT: Everyone matters
1711
01:27:29,850 --> 01:27:31,850
We're in this together
1712
01:27:33,100 --> 01:27:36,100
The world would
be so different
1713
01:27:36,190 --> 01:27:40,270
If there never was a me
1714
01:27:40,820 --> 01:27:43,740
Even you
1715
01:27:44,320 --> 01:27:46,860
MISS PIGGY:
Even me
1716
01:27:47,660 --> 01:27:50,280
ALL:
You and me
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