Original subtitles

??

I wish Swift would have told us that Larqwans shed.

Uh, he did leave you pretty detailed instructions.

Which he knows I never read, so,

that's on him.

I'll miss you, Plaid-ley Cooper.

- You name your shirts? - The important ones.

Oh.

(clattering)

(clangs)

And that's that. Another job well done.

Ooh.

Poof.

(dance music playing)

So what now?

(both grunting)

Aah!

(yells)

Woo! Still the champ. (chuckles)

It's these tender elbows.

One weak link breaks the whole chain.

Anyway, I should go home.

(grunts)

- Maybe get some ice. - Yeah.

Good game.

(horror music playing)

- Noooooo! - Noooooo!

(thud)

- (Gabby groans, then yells) - (Wesley yells)

(both scream)

(theme song playing)

? Oh, yeah ?

? I do normal like a fish rides a bicycle ?

? Fit in like summer and an icicle ?

? Don't fight it, just be an original ?

? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?

? I roller skate outside the lines ?

? When I try to stay in, it's no surprise ?

? It's a fail, it's okay, I'm one of a kind ?

? One of a, one of a kind ?

? So anytime I feel some type of way ?

? Don't understand the human race ?

? So what, so what, so what ?

? I do my thing, I do my thing ?

? You do your thing, You do your thing ?

? When we don't fit in ?

? We stand out in the crowd and we shout it loud ?

? I do my thing, I do my thing ?

? I'm the one and only, I'm the one and only ?

? Don't try to fit in, Don't try to fit in ?

? Mm-hmm, I do my thing ?

Gabby: What. Was. That?

I, I, I tripped. It was a freak accident!

It was your fault, Bag-ley Cooper!

My mom said, "Get the messenger bag. They're all the rage!

My little man's gonna be so cosmopolitan."

Why do I listen?

You're right. It was an accident.

A terrible, random, completely accidental accident.

Gabby: So, uh,

why does this feel so weird?

Because we kissed! And kissing is a known BFK.

Best friend killer!

Eh, maybe it doesn't count!

I mean, just because our lips touched

doesn't make it a kiss, right?

Like CPR. That's not kissing!

Exactly!

And besides, it's not like we like each other

"like that."

(scoffs) Of course not.

I mean, you're my best friend, but...

"Like that"? (gags)

Exactly!

There's tons of stuff I don't like about you.

Perfect. Tell me.

I mean, you babysit aliens,

but you don't believe yetis exist.

You peel the pepperoni slices off your pizza,

stack them, then eat them all at once,

which is insanely indulgent,

and you're not a dog person. What is that?

What about you?

You actually like movies with subtitles,

you weirdly smell your hands when you think no one is looking,

and sometimes when you get really excited,

you say, "Awesome sauce."

So, yeah. We definitely don't like each other "like that."

So, uh, why is this still weird?

I, I don't know.

This is so not awesome sauce.

What do we do?

I'll tell you what we do.

We do the same thing I did

when I walked in on my Aunt Nina shaving her back.

We shove it deep down and never talk about it again. Deal?

Deal.

I'm just gonna leave.

- You forgot your bag. - Wesley: Burn it!

(door opens, closes)

??

Your move.

- (clicks) - (crashes)

(yells) No!

Hope you're hungry, buddy. Loser eats 'em all.

Wesley: J-dog! Guess who brought pizza...

coupons!

Oh, uh, hey, Wes.

- You look... well. - (stammering)

What do you... What, um...

W-What are you doing here?

(stammers) Jer... Jeremy invited me over.

He, he didn't mention that you...

Not that it matters.

I mean, you can be wherever...

Your lips can be wherever...

What... I'm not, I'm not telling you what to do

with your lips. It's, it's your body. Your choice.

Help me.

Why are you two being so weird?

- We're not. - No one's...

- Oh, you go. - Go ahead.

Orb!

- (orb whirring) - (energy shimmering)

Orb: They kissed.

Both: How?

Ugh! Sick!

It was an accident. I...

- tripped, and our mouths... - Jeremy: Ew!

Don't describe it. Now I can see it with my brain.

Orb: I, myself, have never experienced a kiss.

- I've often dreamt of having lips, and... - No one cares.

Orb: Dejected sigh .

(whirring)

It's making everything super weird.

I just wish we could forget it ever happened.

You two mouth-mashers might be in luck.

I think I have something that can help.

(squeaking)

It's a mind-wipe.

What's it do?

It wipes your mind. Doy!

You kissed this guy?

I got it from some friends of mine,

because I plan on doing a lot of stuff

I'm gonna need Swift to forget.

This is perfect! We could erase the kiss!

It'll be like it never happened,

and things can go back to normal.

Agreed. I just want our handshake back.

I gotta warn you, though.

This tech is pretty glitchy.

There might be some side effects.

You sure you wanna try it?

We have no choice.

It's time to kiss this awkwardness goodbye.

Could we erase that one, too?

Yep.

(sniffs, sighs)

It's been too long, Oolong.

(laughs) Tea humor.

Gotta love it.

Now for the milk.

The unbroken seal.

(upbeat music playing)

(yells)

(yells)

(yells)

(yells)

??

(music distorts)

(clanking)

Better to save myself the humiliation.

Until next time, plastic cap.

Aah!

It's okay.

Someone just needs to get rid of the alien clothes

before anyone finds them.

I can do this without Gabby.

My first alien mission.

- Dina: Girls! - (lid clatters)

Oh, great. Uh, I can take those.

I'm about to do a load of laundry.

- That's okay. - Really, it's no problem.

- (Olivia grunts) - (straining)

(inhales)

(sneezes)

Gesundheit.

- (grunts) - (squishing noises)

Fine. I won't wash them.

Live in filth.

What are you looking at?

I can handle this.

I think.

You guys are gonna have to stand closer together

for this to work.

??

Try not to trip this time.

Try not to have lips.

- (whirring) - Jeremy: All right.

I set the mind-wipe to erase

everything that's happened in the last four hours.

You're sure you wanna do this?

One-hundred percent.

We have to. Kissing is a BFK.

I don't know what that means, but whatever.

Ready?

One... two...

(energy shimmering)

(whirring)

(static buzzing)

(gasping)

(clucking)

(panting)

(grunting)

Huh?

What just happened?

- Oh. Oh, this is bad. - (Gabby sighs)

What did we do?

I, I don't know.

The last thing I remember is Jeremy asking us if we were ready,

and then a flash.

The mind-wipe!

Why were we trying to wipe our...

- Oh. - Oh.

- The kiss. - Oh, I still remember it.

Me, too. Which means the stupid mind-wipe didn't even work.

- This is what we get for listening to Jeremy. - (scoffs)

- (chicken clucking) - Wait.

Where is Jeremy?

(clucking)

And why does my phone say that four hours have passed?

That's... That's impossible. I don't remember anything.

I know this isn't the first time I've asked this,

but why is there a taco in my pocket?

- (chicken clucking) - Wait.

The mind-wipe didn't erase the four hours before we used it.

It erased the four hours after we did!

That's why we don't remember any of this!

- (exhales) - (cell phone jingling)

(phone beeps)

Wow, Gabby. You look like hot garbage.

Oh, really? Unfortunately,

your janky mind-wipe messed up our heads.

Jeremy (over phone): Yeah, about that...

Remember how I told you I got it from some friends of mine?

I kind of, sort of, forgot to tell them that I was taking it.

Also,

I'm starting to think they might not really be my friends.

(sighs) Blorgs!

We want our mind-wipe back.

If you want to see your friend again,

bring it in exactly one hour.

We'll send the location. And no funny business.

Bring snacks!

(phone beeps off)

Okay.

Looks like we have a mind-wipe to find.

(chicken squawks)

??

(squawks)

Doesn't look like it's here.

We might have to retrace our steps.

Well, that should be fun. (laughs)

Looks like we had ourselves quite the afternoon.

Okay, so,

first I tripped on Bag-ley,

and then we accidentally kissed...

Don't talk about the kiss!

Hey, Mom. Need some help?

Aah!

- What is it? - (Olivia whimpers)

My hair? I mean, I know I have a split end sitch going on,

but it's not that bad.

Ay . Let me take a look.

Your hair looks beautiful, Mom!

Okay, well, if you say so.

I'm going to the grocery store later.

- Do you need me to pick up anything? - No!

Hey.

Can I show you something in the basement?

It's for a...

school thing.

Um, okay.

You first.

(chuckles)

Now, let's make this quick,

because I have a lot of errands to run.

- (door closes) - (lock clicks)

- Dina: Olivia, what's going on? - (knocking)

So far, so good.

- You've got this, Olivia. - Dina: Olivia!

If this is some psychological experiment

that you're conducting,

I'm gonna be very upset!

- Olivia, I am not your guinea pig! - (door rattling)

- Oh, oh, no. You go. (Chuckles) - Oh. No, go ahead.

- It's fine. You go. - You, you can go.

- I'm just gonna go. - Yeah.

Night Train!

Vortex!

(all applauding)

I've never seen anyone dominate Taco Takedown like you two did.

We already put your picture up on The Wall of Flame.

I've never seen two mouths more in sync!

Both: Please don't talk about our mouths.

You even tried it a second time to see if you could break your own record.

You didn't.

Wow. That mind-wipe thing really sent us off the rails, huh?

- Yeah. - Gabby: Do you remember us playing around

with some weird-looking tech thing?

Mm, not that I saw.

Gabby: Anything else?

Anything strange about when we were here?

Do you guys really not remember anything?

Hmm. I guess the no shoes,

matching purple socks thing was a little weird.

Gabby: Jump Jumps Trampoline Park?

Julius: Yeah. You even tried to get me to call you

"Foxes in Sockses."

Did you?

No.

(sighs) You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

Yes. No. Maybe?

I'm trying to stay as far away from your head area as possible.

(sighs)

Gabby: Come on. Let's get to that trampoline park.

- ? Happy birthday... ? - Night Train and Vortex!

- (smashes) - Wesley: You get a gift!

And you get a gift! Whoa! Yeah!

I am the best babysitter in the galaxy! Ha ha ha!

- Again, so sorry. - Ha. Don't be.

It was nice to finally have some excitement around here.

I took this job for the rush, you know?

But, you bounce one kid into the ceiling,

and suddenly you're "a danger to children."

Ooo-kay.

Um, do you remember us having a kind of

retro-looking electronic device?

Yeah, that thing will all the knobs and the switches?

- Yeah. - And you left it behind when I kicked you out,

so I, uh, tossed it in lost and found.

That's your lost and found?

Yeah. I like to have fun, you know?

??

All right. Let's do this.

(both yell)

- Please. After you. - Uh, you go.

- Gah! - Dah!

Okay, you do it. I'll guide.

Yeah.

We got this.

(whirring)

- Oh. Left. - My left or your left?

We have the same left! Okay, right.

Right, as in the direction,

or as in I'm doing the right thing?

- Drop the claw now! - (handle clicking)

- (whirring) - (squeaks)

(whirring)

- (machine powering down) - (sighs)

What are we gonna do?

(Gabby yelling)

- (thuds) - (Wesley yells)

- (crashes) - (clattering)

- (chuckling) -? Shake, shake, shake it ?

? Shake, shake, shake, shake ?

- ? Turn it up ? - (sighs happily)

- (whistle blows) - ? Shake, shake it ?

Stay where you are!

Feet on the ground!

Let's bounce.

(punk rock song playing)

? You don't know what day it is ?

? Don't know that you've been born ?

? You don't know what day it is ?

? Don't answer when I call ?

? You you you you you you you you've ?

? Lost the plot, Lost the plot ?

? You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you've ?

? Lost it all ?

(panting)

Gotcha!

Now!

(yelling)

(grunting)

(both sigh)

Let's go. We've got to get this to Jeremy.

Lenny: Hey! Hey!

Hey, those socks belong to Jump Jumps!

(grunts)

We did it!

- Whoa! - (gasps)

(whooshes)

- (clatters) - (Gabby gasps, pants)

- Oh! That was... - (relieved sigh)

- (truck whirring) - (crunching)

(gasps)

A close one?

(whimpers)

No!

- Hand me the glue. - (chicken clucking)

Sorry, I, I can't chance our hands touching again.

Well, it doesn't matter, because...

I don't think this is fooling anyone.

- (chicken clucking) - (phone jingling)

Just checking in. You better have our mind-wipe!

Uh...

We do.

Good. Until you get here,

we'll be making Jeremy listen to Blorgian Psycho-Pop.

(discordant alien music plays)

Hurry, Gabby!

This music is so bad!

I keep on waiting for the beat to drop,

but it never drops!

(phone beeps)

What are we gonna do?

Uh, I, I don't know.

We're obviously not gonna get over this kiss thing.

And seems like we're just getting in each other's way.

And as much as I love Jeremy,

maybe it'd be better if you did this one without me.

No.

We're Vortex and Night Train.

We conquered the Taco Takedown.

We ruined a small child's birthday party.

Now, it's gonna take a lot more than some stupid kiss

to wreck this friendship.

Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

No kiss is gonna stop us.

We're Foxes in Sockses.

Yeah, we are.

So what do you say we take this worthless piece of alien tech

and go rescue our friend?

Hand me the glue, Vortex.

- (chicken clucks) - Wait, I thought I was Night Train.

- (door jiggling) - Dina: Olivia!

- (knocking) - Let me out of here!

(muffled yelling): Olivia!

Olivia, did Gabby put you up to this?

Come on, come on.

There's gotta be something here that could help.

- Dina: Olivia! - (paper rustling)

Olivia: "Instructions for Handling Larqwans."

Good thing Gabby doesn't properly dispose of anything.

Bingo!

"To counteract the acidity of Larqwanian dust,

apply any element with a lactose base."

Lactose, lactose, lactose.

Like in milk!

Oh, no.

(alien music plays over phone)

Make it stop!

(alien music continues)

- (beeps) - (music stops)

You got the mind-wipe?

You mean this?

First, hand over the kid.

Those two kissed.

Gross, right?

Quiet.

We'll trade on three.

One...

two...

three.

(gasps)

(whooshing)

(thuds)

(clattering)

(crashes)

- Listen, let's be reasonable. - (nervous chuckling)

Wesley: Before anyone does

something they're gonna regret, let's just...

just take a minute, and...

pocket taco!

(whooshing)

(clanking)

- Noooooo! - Noooooo!

(thud)

(kisses)

- (male Blorg gasps) - But we're best friends!

- Aah! - Aah!

Let's get out of here.

- Male Blorg: It was an accident! - Female Blorg: Does it count?

- (knocking) - Olivia!

(Dina yelling in Spanish)

It's all on you, Olivia. (sighs) You got this.

(yelling)

How do you like me now,

- milk? - (cap clatters)

Here goes nothin'.

(door rattling)

- (unlocks) - (Dina yelling in Spanish)

- (door squeaks open) - (yelling in Spanish continues)

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - (screaming)

Olivia! (Screams)

(screams, pants)

(exhales)

(panting)

Olivia: You were right.

I was conducting a psychological experiment.

You passed!

Just go to your room.

On my way.

(quietly): You did it, kid.

- All by yourself. - Dina: To your room.

(exhales, inhales)

(exhales sharply)

You know what? I'm happy we didn't wipe our minds.

I wanna remember everything about this crazy day.

Me, too. And most importantly,

we defeated the BFK, so we can stay best friends.

Absolutely. (laughs)

Aah.

Ready Vortex, and/or Night Train?

You bet I am.

- (knuckles cracking) - Ooh.

Does anyone care that I had a super traumatic day?

(crunching)

(both crunching)

Olivia: Next time on "Gabby Duran and the Unsittables"...

Whoa.

All right, Mungos. Let's see what you're hiding.

That room is off-limits.

Gabby: Somethings up with them.

You gotta believe me.

I formally suspend you

from all babysitting

until further notice.

I think it's time to get a little reckless.

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