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1
00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:02,169
Okay, so get this:
2
00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:05,379
The last couple of weeks
have been crazy for me.
3
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,249
I found out aliens live here.
4
00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:10,539
Like, legit,
from outer space aliens.
5
00:00:10,540 --> 00:00:12,289
And since I'm the only
human who knows,
6
00:00:12,290 --> 00:00:14,709
they want me
to babysit their kids.
7
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,540
How dope is that?
8
00:00:17,750 --> 00:00:19,119
Of course, I can't tell
anyone about this,
9
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,579
which is why I'm talking
to an alien baby.
10
00:00:21,580 --> 00:00:23,039
- But whatever.
- Zagellian: Feed me!
11
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,790
I'm trying!
Now which one's your mouth hole?
12
00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:28,580
(alien slurps, belches)
13
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:33,999
Well, that wasn't it.
14
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,000
(theme song playing)
15
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,620
? Ohh, yeah ?
16
00:00:42,170 --> 00:00:44,669
? I do normal like a fish
rides a bicycle ?
17
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,879
? Fit in like summer
and an icicle ?
18
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,579
? Don't fight it,
just be an original ?
19
00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:50,499
? Ooh ooh ooh ?
20
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,499
? I roller-skate
outside the lines ?
21
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,539
? When I try to stay in,
it's no surprise ?
22
00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:56,879
? It's a fail, it's okay,
I'm one of a kind ?
23
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,709
? O ne of a... one of a kind ?
24
00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:01,619
? So, anytime I feel
some type of way ?
25
00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:05,039
? Don't understand
the human race ?
26
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,039
? So what, so what, so what ?
27
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:09,379
? I do my thing
I do my thing ?
28
00:01:09,380 --> 00:01:11,709
? You do your thing,
you do your thing ?
29
00:01:11,710 --> 00:01:13,619
? When we don't fit in,
ooh ooh ?
30
00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:15,829
? We stand out in the crowd
and we shout it loud ?
31
00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:17,959
? I do my thing,
I do my thing ?
32
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:20,169
? I'm the one and only,
I'm the one and only ?
33
00:01:20,170 --> 00:01:22,039
? Don't try to fit in,
don't try to fit in ?
34
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,460
? Mmmm mmmm
I do my thing ?
35
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,999
The Mysteries of Havensburg Club
is about finding and exposing
36
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,039
all the paranormal, odd,
and downright weird things
37
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:34,419
that happen around this town.
38
00:01:34,420 --> 00:01:35,919
So, then, Gabby,
39
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,120
have you observed anything
out of the ordinary this week?
40
00:01:39,380 --> 00:01:42,169
(Gabby laughing)
41
00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,879
This is so out of the ordinary!
42
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,079
Nope. Nada.
43
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:47,080
Me neither!
44
00:01:47,081 --> 00:01:49,619
I just wish I could
find something!
45
00:01:49,620 --> 00:01:50,999
It doesn't have to be big:
46
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,499
A Sasquatch footprint,
47
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:54,539
one scale from a sewer gator,
48
00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:56,669
something that smells
kind of alien!
49
00:01:56,670 --> 00:01:58,249
If I could just find anything,
50
00:01:58,250 --> 00:02:00,039
people would finally
know I was right
51
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:02,210
and I would spread my
truth across the globe.
52
00:02:04,210 --> 00:02:07,379
Well, I guess it's just a bummer we
live in a super normal town, then.
53
00:02:07,380 --> 00:02:09,880
Anyway, on to our next
order of business.
54
00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:11,830
Check this out!
55
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:17,579
Those are VIP tickets to
Blooderella 9: The Bloodening.
56
00:02:17,580 --> 00:02:20,079
How did you get these?
57
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,039
I won them on
a radio call-in show!
58
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,499
I think because I'm the only
person who still listens to radio.
59
00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:26,249
Blooderella is maybe my favorite
60
00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:29,249
nine-part scary movie
franchise of all time!
61
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,169
I am in!
62
00:02:31,170 --> 00:02:33,170
? ?
63
00:02:34,460 --> 00:02:35,790
(both imitate explosion)
64
00:02:43,670 --> 00:02:45,040
Both:
One, two, three, four.
65
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:49,459
You know, this kid online
was trying to tell me
66
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:52,619
that the Octo-Slay Trilogy
was better than Blooderella,
67
00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:54,289
but I was, like, no way.
68
00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:56,790
Aliens don't have tentacles.
That's a fact.
69
00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:59,790
Uh, yeah. Totally.
(chuckles)
70
00:03:02,330 --> 00:03:04,619
So, in conclusion,
71
00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:07,999
while Chris is
certainly more dreamy,
72
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,499
more data is needed
73
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:11,329
to definitively answer
the question
74
00:03:11,330 --> 00:03:14,079
which Hemsworth brother
is more talented.
75
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:15,249
End report.
76
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:17,959
Send to Gor-Monite
central archive,
77
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,710
priority alpha.
78
00:03:27,210 --> 00:03:28,419
What are you doing?
79
00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:31,879
I've been asked to submit
reports on Earth culture,
80
00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,619
as our people's leading
expert on humanity.
81
00:03:34,620 --> 00:03:36,499
Yeah, about that.
82
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:39,169
We're supposed to be
blending in as humans, right?
83
00:03:39,170 --> 00:03:41,209
That is correct, yes.
84
00:03:41,210 --> 00:03:43,709
Well, how am I supposed
to blend in as human
85
00:03:43,710 --> 00:03:46,079
if you don't let me spend
any time around them?
86
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,289
I wanna go out in the world.
87
00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:50,619
Oh, Jeremy, we have
talked about this.
88
00:03:50,620 --> 00:03:52,789
Now, it is my job
to watch over you,
89
00:03:52,790 --> 00:03:54,919
and I just don't think
you're ready yet.
90
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,829
Come on. Please.
91
00:03:56,830 --> 00:03:59,209
Gabby gave me
a taste of human life,
92
00:03:59,210 --> 00:04:01,249
and I want more.
93
00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:03,039
You're an expert on them.
94
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:06,250
Take me out and teach me.
Share your wisdom.
95
00:04:07,420 --> 00:04:11,079
Well, I suppose
if you were accompanied
96
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,959
by a suitable expert
such as myself...
97
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,579
Very well. Tomorrow I shall
take you out and teach you
98
00:04:18,580 --> 00:04:21,829
literally everything there is
to know about humans.
99
00:04:21,830 --> 00:04:24,419
- Baller!
- Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
100
00:04:24,420 --> 00:04:27,789
Lesson one: Humans never
use the word "baller"
101
00:04:27,790 --> 00:04:29,499
to express pleasure.
102
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,959
They prefer "boo yah."
103
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,039
Boo yah!
104
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,039
? ?
105
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,670
Both:
One, two, three, four.
106
00:04:39,710 --> 00:04:41,080
- Wesley: See ya.
- Gabby: See ya.
107
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,959
So, how did your
club meeting go?
108
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,169
Did you guys find
any Loch Ness monsters?
109
00:04:48,170 --> 00:04:49,879
Look, I get it.
It's a silly club.
110
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,419
I just do it
to hang out with Wes.
111
00:04:52,420 --> 00:04:54,579
He's not afraid
to be different, you know?
112
00:04:54,580 --> 00:04:56,249
He's like, "I'm here.
113
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:58,249
"I believe in
ridiculous nonsense.
114
00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:00,999
Deal with it."
I respect that.
115
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,919
Ah, mija, well, I'm so happy
that you're settling in
116
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,170
and that you've made
such a good friend.
117
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:08,710
Yeah, it's great.
118
00:05:09,670 --> 00:05:10,920
But...?
119
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,499
I don't know.
120
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:15,919
Did you ever have something
you were keeping from a friend?
121
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:17,039
And you really wanted
to tell him,
122
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,209
but, like, you just couldn't?
123
00:05:18,210 --> 00:05:20,709
And every time
you see him, it's fun,
124
00:05:20,710 --> 00:05:22,539
but you've still got this
big thing between you?
125
00:05:22,540 --> 00:05:24,250
- Yes!
- Been there.
126
00:05:25,460 --> 00:05:27,120
I just want to tell him,
but I can't.
127
00:05:28,420 --> 00:05:29,959
What should I do?
128
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,379
Okay, well, you know,
I had hoped you would be a little older
129
00:05:32,380 --> 00:05:34,379
- before we were talking about this...
- Older?
130
00:05:34,380 --> 00:05:35,829
Wait. What are
you talking about?
131
00:05:35,830 --> 00:05:38,749
You know. You having
a crush on Wesley.
132
00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:41,829
Ew! Gross!
Come on, Mom!
133
00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:43,959
Boys and girls
can just be friends!
134
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,079
Why do you gotta make
everything so weird?
135
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,670
Ugh! Seriously! Bah!
136
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,419
- Boy trouble?
- (sighs) Yep.
137
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,999
They grow up so fast.
138
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,169
? ?
139
00:05:57,170 --> 00:05:59,710
(whistling)
140
00:06:00,710 --> 00:06:02,080
(makes fart noise)
141
00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:08,249
I know, I know.
"Go to the Principal's Office."
142
00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:11,119
What can I say?
You're tough, but fair.
143
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,789
(school bell ringing)
144
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,999
Swift:
Gabby, it's been two weeks.
145
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,789
You do realize you don't
actually have to get in trouble
146
00:06:18,790 --> 00:06:20,749
every time we need
to speak, correct?
147
00:06:20,750 --> 00:06:24,209
Hey, I'm just trying to preserve
our cover here, Swifty.
148
00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:26,539
Regardless, Jeremy aside,
149
00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:28,669
your first few
babysitting assignments
150
00:06:28,670 --> 00:06:30,619
appear to have gone quite well,
151
00:06:30,620 --> 00:06:33,119
so it would seem
you're ready for another.
152
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,829
His name is Stuart Fischman.
153
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:38,709
He and his parents are
a water-dwelling species
154
00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:40,459
from the planet Vitreous Prime.
155
00:06:40,460 --> 00:06:42,919
But he's also very nervous
around humans,
156
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,830
so you'll need to take
extra care with him.
157
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:49,879
Look, I've scraped liquified
beetle out of my eye sockets.
158
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,789
This ain't my first alien rodeo.
159
00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:54,789
Well, Mr. and Mrs. Fischman
will expect you this afternoon.
160
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:56,249
Oh, no can do.
161
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,709
Wesley and I have plans
to see Blooderella 9...
162
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,289
The movie with so much gore,
163
00:07:00,290 --> 00:07:03,209
it makes Blooderella 8
look like Blooderella 7.
164
00:07:03,210 --> 00:07:06,749
Gabby, these alien children
are counting on you.
165
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:09,329
I hope you realize
this job is very important.
166
00:07:09,330 --> 00:07:12,579
It's much more important
than some silly film.
167
00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:15,000
The Blooderella franchise
is a national treasure!
168
00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:18,829
Also, regarding Wesley,
169
00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:22,289
I've noticed you two spending an
inordinate amount of time together.
170
00:07:22,290 --> 00:07:24,710
That is... problematic.
171
00:07:26,710 --> 00:07:27,879
Problematic how?
172
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:31,999
Wesley has a tendency
to believe in the fantastical
173
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,710
and is not shy about
sharing what he knows.
174
00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:36,829
Aliens are real!
175
00:07:36,830 --> 00:07:37,999
And the second I have proof,
176
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,290
I'm going straight to the news!
177
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,709
So... what are you saying?
178
00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:44,419
You either end your
friendship with Wesley
179
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:48,380
or you resign your position
as an alien babysitter.
180
00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:50,829
The choice is yours.
181
00:07:50,830 --> 00:07:52,580
? ?
182
00:07:55,710 --> 00:07:57,620
? ?
183
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,210
Hey! There she is!
184
00:08:08,670 --> 00:08:11,419
What's up?
You're not sick, are you?
185
00:08:11,420 --> 00:08:13,579
Because you're not supposed
to see Blooderella 9
186
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,579
with a heart condition
or an upset stomach.
187
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:17,749
- No, I'm fine.
- Cool.
188
00:08:17,750 --> 00:08:19,879
'Cause I've never been more
excited about anything in my life.
189
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,789
You didn't, like, make us matching
hats or anything, did you?
190
00:08:22,790 --> 00:08:24,460
(scoffs)
Of course not.
191
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,710
I made us matching shirts.
192
00:08:27,460 --> 00:08:28,619
(screams)
193
00:08:28,620 --> 00:08:31,999
Ugh. That makes this
so much harder.
194
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,670
- Look, Wes...
- Also, I made snacks.
195
00:08:35,460 --> 00:08:36,709
Homemade trail mix.
196
00:08:36,710 --> 00:08:39,709
I didn't put pretzels
or raisins or peanuts in yours,
197
00:08:39,710 --> 00:08:41,959
'cause I know you think they're
the posers of the snack world.
198
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,500
So, your bag is basically
just chocolate chips.
199
00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:48,960
Sorry for interrupting.
What were you saying?
200
00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:53,290
Uh, nothing.
No big deal. We good.
201
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,210
? ?
202
00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:02,880
(saxophone playing)
203
00:09:08,710 --> 00:09:11,289
That's awful!
What is that?!
204
00:09:11,290 --> 00:09:13,709
The first lesson
of human culture.
205
00:09:13,710 --> 00:09:16,249
It's called "jazz music."
206
00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:20,079
These street people force humans
to listen to their caterwauling,
207
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:23,619
but then reward them
with money for the ordeal.
208
00:09:23,620 --> 00:09:25,119
Now, go and get your reward.
209
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:26,579
Ugh!
210
00:09:26,580 --> 00:09:28,879
Or perhaps you're not ready
for human interaction.
211
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,080
No! I'm ready.
I can do it.
212
00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:37,960
Good work!
This music is really terrible!
213
00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:40,620
Is five dollars enough?
214
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:45,170
Let's make it ten.
You're really bad.
215
00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:47,250
Hey!
216
00:09:47,251 --> 00:09:49,249
? ?
217
00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:50,579
Do you even know
what you're doing?!
218
00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:52,379
Well, you've enraged him!
219
00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:54,710
You probably didn't
take enough money!
220
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:59,380
? ?
221
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,419
(knocking)
222
00:10:12,420 --> 00:10:13,919
Hey! Hi!
223
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:16,169
I'm Gabby!
Your new babysitter!
224
00:10:16,170 --> 00:10:17,170
How was your nap?
225
00:10:19,290 --> 00:10:21,290
? ?
226
00:10:34,330 --> 00:10:37,619
Come on, Gabby!
Where are you?
227
00:10:38,454 --> 00:10:41,374
You can put the spatula down.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
228
00:10:42,454 --> 00:10:43,374
I don't trust humans.
229
00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:46,253
You pollute your oceans
and turn fish into sticks.
230
00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:47,954
Fair point.
How about a trick?
231
00:10:48,664 --> 00:10:49,873
Huh? Yeah?
232
00:10:49,874 --> 00:10:51,003
Look at my thumb! Whoa!
233
00:10:51,004 --> 00:10:52,874
Wanna see a real trick?
234
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:56,164
? ?
235
00:11:13,834 --> 00:11:17,333
Wow. Fish Stu got skills!
236
00:11:17,334 --> 00:11:18,664
(phone ringing)
237
00:11:23,294 --> 00:11:26,214
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine, I just...
238
00:11:27,214 --> 00:11:28,253
I need to tell
somebody something
239
00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:30,503
that's gonna be really hard
for me to tell them, is all.
240
00:11:30,504 --> 00:11:32,334
Well, then maybe you should
just get it over with.
241
00:11:34,214 --> 00:11:36,044
(phone ringing)
242
00:11:37,374 --> 00:11:39,753
Gabby! Where are you?
The movie's about to start,
243
00:11:39,754 --> 00:11:41,253
and I don't wanna
pee my pants alone.
244
00:11:41,254 --> 00:11:43,833
(deep breath)
Wes, you're a good friend,
245
00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:45,453
and it was super nice of you
to get the tickets
246
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:47,583
and make us shirts
and special trail mix,
247
00:11:47,584 --> 00:11:49,213
but we can't be friends anymore.
248
00:11:49,214 --> 00:11:52,163
And I'm sorry. And bye forever.
And I'm sorry.
249
00:11:52,164 --> 00:11:54,294
- This is Gabby, by the way.
- Wait, what do you...
250
00:12:00,414 --> 00:12:02,584
I really wish I could tell
him the truth about aliens.
251
00:12:04,044 --> 00:12:06,454
(phone vibrating)
252
00:12:08,254 --> 00:12:10,913
No worries, he'll be fine.
253
00:12:10,914 --> 00:12:12,084
He's a champ.
254
00:12:13,294 --> 00:12:15,454
(knocking)
255
00:12:17,794 --> 00:12:19,623
(out of breath):
Gabby...
256
00:12:19,624 --> 00:12:20,833
I need to talk to Gabby.
257
00:12:20,834 --> 00:12:22,293
Um... what's going on?
258
00:12:22,294 --> 00:12:25,043
I'm pretty sure that your
sister's been taken over
259
00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:27,833
by some sort of evil parasite
that controls her thoughts
260
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,414
and makes her say things
she doesn't really mean.
261
00:12:30,294 --> 00:12:32,253
That or she just doesn't wanna
be friends with me anymore.
262
00:12:32,254 --> 00:12:34,293
Either way,
I need to talk to her.
263
00:12:34,294 --> 00:12:37,253
Gabby's not here.
She's at a babysitting job.
264
00:12:37,254 --> 00:12:39,583
Wait, you mean she'd rather work
265
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:42,333
than see the greatest
slasher movie of all-time?
266
00:12:42,334 --> 00:12:44,083
Now I know something's up.
267
00:12:44,084 --> 00:12:45,254
Neighbor:
I have no idea.
268
00:12:46,044 --> 00:12:48,833
If I give you the address,
will you get off our porch?
269
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:53,374
The neighbors are talking, and we have a
very particular Home Owners' Association.
270
00:12:54,334 --> 00:12:56,294
Nothing to see here, Gladys!
271
00:13:00,254 --> 00:13:01,254
Deal.
272
00:13:01,255 --> 00:13:03,414
? ?
273
00:13:04,374 --> 00:13:06,413
Are you sure we need
to send this back?
274
00:13:06,414 --> 00:13:07,873
I kinda just want to eat it.
275
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:11,253
Humans never settle for
the first dish served to them.
276
00:13:11,254 --> 00:13:13,083
It's an insult to the chef.
277
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:15,953
That checks out.
Gabby does complain a lot.
278
00:13:15,954 --> 00:13:18,373
Exactly. And if you want
to be like her,
279
00:13:18,374 --> 00:13:19,833
you have to do the same.
280
00:13:19,834 --> 00:13:21,504
Uh, gar�on!
281
00:13:23,334 --> 00:13:26,293
We would like to return
these trash plates.
282
00:13:26,294 --> 00:13:27,833
It tastes like butt puke.
283
00:13:27,834 --> 00:13:29,454
Extreme butt puke!
284
00:13:30,294 --> 00:13:32,663
You haven't tasted it yet.
285
00:13:32,664 --> 00:13:35,543
We still wanna send it back.
We know how this works.
286
00:13:35,544 --> 00:13:36,913
I'm not sure you do.
287
00:13:36,914 --> 00:13:39,753
Look, we would like
to return this food
288
00:13:39,754 --> 00:13:43,003
and replace it with
the exact same thing.
289
00:13:43,004 --> 00:13:46,004
Don't make us call
your supervisor.
290
00:13:47,334 --> 00:13:50,663
- But I'm so hungry!
- I will write a scathing review!
291
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:54,334
Does anyone have a social media
account I could... use?
292
00:13:55,214 --> 00:13:56,834
(sighing)
293
00:13:58,044 --> 00:14:00,163
Help is on the way, Gabby.
Help is on the way.
294
00:14:00,164 --> 00:14:02,334
Gabby's Voice: Hey!
Stay back! I'm warning you!
295
00:14:04,214 --> 00:14:06,253
- I knew it!
- I'm serious! Stay back!
296
00:14:06,254 --> 00:14:07,873
I'm not eating any
of that gross seaweed.
297
00:14:07,874 --> 00:14:10,164
- Come on, just try a bite.
- No!
298
00:14:11,124 --> 00:14:12,293
How much of this
weird chemical stuff
299
00:14:12,294 --> 00:14:13,333
do you need in your water again?
300
00:14:13,334 --> 00:14:15,953
- (Wesley shouting)
- (Stu screaming)
301
00:14:15,954 --> 00:14:17,374
(screaming)
302
00:14:19,044 --> 00:14:22,293
(shouting)
Ah! What is happening?
303
00:14:22,294 --> 00:14:24,003
(screaming, shouting continues)
304
00:14:24,004 --> 00:14:26,004
? ?
305
00:14:28,004 --> 00:14:30,373
- Gabby: Stuart!
- Wesley: Why'd you tie me up?
306
00:14:30,374 --> 00:14:31,833
- Gabby: Stuart!
- Wesley: What's going on?
307
00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:35,083
- Stuart!
- What was that thing? A swamp thing?
308
00:14:35,084 --> 00:14:38,213
- Some kind of gamma-mutated carp boy?
- No. Stop asking questions.
309
00:14:38,214 --> 00:14:40,123
- Stop the chair. Stop the chair!
- What?
310
00:14:40,124 --> 00:14:41,624
Gabby, we're friends.
311
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,873
That thing back there?
It was not normal.
312
00:14:44,874 --> 00:14:47,043
I live for not normal.
313
00:14:47,044 --> 00:14:50,083
So, I'm begging you,
as my friend, just...
314
00:14:50,084 --> 00:14:52,004
tell me what's going on.
315
00:14:59,874 --> 00:15:04,003
Wes, that thing...
is an alien.
316
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,163
Yes! (Sniffles)
317
00:15:06,164 --> 00:15:09,583
I babysit him.
I kinda babysit aliens.
318
00:15:09,584 --> 00:15:11,953
(softly crying)
319
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:15,083
What do you...
Are you okay?
320
00:15:15,084 --> 00:15:18,003
It's just... you dream about
this day your entire life,
321
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:20,124
and then it...
It finally happens, and...
322
00:15:21,624 --> 00:15:23,953
(sniffles)
I'm not crying.
323
00:15:23,954 --> 00:15:26,163
I just have a bunch of weird
alien chemicals in my eyes.
324
00:15:26,164 --> 00:15:29,043
You know more about aliens
than anyone I know.
325
00:15:29,044 --> 00:15:31,084
Even if most of it
is just made-up nonsense.
326
00:15:32,874 --> 00:15:36,214
(sighs) So,
I need you to help me find Stuart.
327
00:15:37,714 --> 00:15:39,374
Yes. Yes!
328
00:15:41,254 --> 00:15:43,583
Jeremy: Are you sure
Blooderella 9 isn't too scary?
329
00:15:43,584 --> 00:15:45,003
Swift:
Oh, nonsense.
330
00:15:45,004 --> 00:15:47,293
In order to
understand a culture,
331
00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:49,753
you first have to understand
its entertainment.
332
00:15:49,754 --> 00:15:52,373
Plus, I have it
on good authority
333
00:15:52,374 --> 00:15:55,914
that this particular film
is a national treasure.
334
00:15:58,794 --> 00:16:01,414
(both screaming)
335
00:16:03,714 --> 00:16:05,454
So much blood!
336
00:16:08,044 --> 00:16:10,913
Wesley: So,
is this why you bailed on me today?
337
00:16:10,914 --> 00:16:13,293
Gabby: Yep.
Now focus up, we have to find him.
338
00:16:13,294 --> 00:16:16,713
Stuart! Stuart! (Sighs)
339
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:19,123
I have some old beef jerky
in my pocket. Get it.
340
00:16:19,124 --> 00:16:22,333
- Aliens love dried meat.
- No! No pocket jerky.
341
00:16:22,334 --> 00:16:24,794
Come on, Stuart.
Where are you, buddy?
342
00:16:26,084 --> 00:16:27,084
If I had to guess...
343
00:16:29,044 --> 00:16:31,753
I don't suppose you know
where that sewer goes.
344
00:16:31,754 --> 00:16:33,663
That's an offshoot
of the main pipeline.
345
00:16:33,664 --> 00:16:35,834
It drains out into the
Havensburg Water Treatment Plant.
346
00:16:36,544 --> 00:16:37,953
And you know this because...?
347
00:16:37,954 --> 00:16:40,043
Well, I mapped out
the whole town's sewer system
348
00:16:40,044 --> 00:16:42,293
because, you know, sewer gators.
349
00:16:42,294 --> 00:16:43,373
Then let's go.
350
00:16:43,374 --> 00:16:45,413
? ?
351
00:16:45,414 --> 00:16:48,003
- Gabby: Oh!
- Wesley: Whoa! (Grunts)
352
00:16:48,004 --> 00:16:49,584
(groaning)
353
00:16:51,124 --> 00:16:54,413
Look, this would be a lot
easier if you let me loose.
354
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:55,793
Promise you won't
run off and blog
355
00:16:55,794 --> 00:16:57,873
about how aliens are real?
356
00:16:57,874 --> 00:17:01,083
Gabby, do you really think I'd
do something like that to you?
357
00:17:01,084 --> 00:17:03,794
I promise, your secret's
safe with me.
358
00:17:05,714 --> 00:17:08,414
Some things are more important
than extra-terrestrials.
359
00:17:12,044 --> 00:17:13,004
Okay.
360
00:17:13,664 --> 00:17:14,954
Now let's get you untied.
361
00:17:16,874 --> 00:17:18,163
Gabby:
We got to hurry!
362
00:17:18,164 --> 00:17:20,953
That collar of his only has like
30 minutes of breathable water.
363
00:17:20,954 --> 00:17:22,293
Well, he's in here somewhere,
364
00:17:22,294 --> 00:17:24,043
probably peeing
in our water supply.
365
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,713
If he even pees.
Does he pee?
366
00:17:25,714 --> 00:17:26,953
Stuart!
367
00:17:26,954 --> 00:17:29,254
Stuart? Stuart!
368
00:17:30,914 --> 00:17:32,003
Whoa.
369
00:17:32,004 --> 00:17:34,124
He's gotta be behind that door.
370
00:17:38,374 --> 00:17:41,043
(grunting)
Locked!
371
00:17:41,044 --> 00:17:43,003
We need to crack
the security code.
372
00:17:43,004 --> 00:17:44,793
I think maybe
if I squint hard enough,
373
00:17:44,794 --> 00:17:46,373
I can make out
the fingerprints on the...
374
00:17:46,374 --> 00:17:48,663
- (shattering)
- (electricity fizzles)
375
00:17:48,664 --> 00:17:49,954
Guess I cracked the code.
376
00:18:02,754 --> 00:18:06,163
I know you said not to freak,
but I'm kind of freaking.
377
00:18:06,164 --> 00:18:08,253
You babysit him?
378
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,714
Yeah. I'm a pretty big deal.
379
00:18:13,954 --> 00:18:16,294
Hey, buddy. You okay?
380
00:18:17,214 --> 00:18:20,043
We gotta go, okay?
We gotta get you home.
381
00:18:20,044 --> 00:18:21,123
He scared me.
382
00:18:21,124 --> 00:18:23,583
He burst in all human-like.
383
00:18:23,584 --> 00:18:26,214
Yeah, I bet that was scary,
but Wesley's cool.
384
00:18:28,794 --> 00:18:29,834
I don't know.
385
00:18:30,754 --> 00:18:32,163
Look, I get it.
386
00:18:32,164 --> 00:18:34,373
It's hard for you to find
someone you can trust.
387
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,753
It was the same for me
when I first moved to this town.
388
00:18:36,754 --> 00:18:38,373
But I've spent a lot
of time with Wesley
389
00:18:38,374 --> 00:18:39,953
and I can tell you:
390
00:18:39,954 --> 00:18:42,714
He's one of the best,
most trustworthy humans there is.
391
00:18:44,334 --> 00:18:47,794
He is?
You trust him?
392
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:50,503
I do.
393
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,714
? ?
394
00:19:02,874 --> 00:19:04,793
Come on.
Let's get you home.
395
00:19:04,794 --> 00:19:08,003
Lemme ask you a question,
and no judgment, but...
396
00:19:08,004 --> 00:19:09,293
you pee in there?
397
00:19:09,294 --> 00:19:10,713
Oh, definitely.
398
00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:12,954
? ?
399
00:19:24,294 --> 00:19:26,953
You know,
for an expert on humanity,
400
00:19:26,954 --> 00:19:29,293
I'm beginning to think
you don't understand humans
401
00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:30,753
any better than me.
402
00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:33,953
But how can that be?
I've studied them for years!
403
00:19:33,954 --> 00:19:36,873
I have written literally
dozens of reports
404
00:19:36,874 --> 00:19:39,043
on the Hemsworth brothers alone.
405
00:19:39,044 --> 00:19:41,874
Do I just not get humans at all?
406
00:19:42,794 --> 00:19:45,333
- Are you all right, son?
- Hmmm?
407
00:19:45,334 --> 00:19:47,163
No. No, I am not.
408
00:19:47,164 --> 00:19:49,453
As it happens,
I don't know anything
409
00:19:49,454 --> 00:19:51,713
and I have spent
the whole day screwing up.
410
00:19:51,714 --> 00:19:56,794
Well... that's just
called being human.
411
00:19:58,754 --> 00:20:00,874
? ?
412
00:20:05,584 --> 00:20:08,413
Did you hear what
that wise noble sage said?
413
00:20:08,414 --> 00:20:10,753
So, not knowing anything
and screwing up
414
00:20:10,754 --> 00:20:12,753
is the most human
thing you can do?
415
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,123
Exactly!
416
00:20:14,124 --> 00:20:18,873
And that is what I've been trying
to teach you this entire time.
417
00:20:18,874 --> 00:20:20,213
Well done, Jeremy.
418
00:20:20,214 --> 00:20:22,664
One day, you'll be
as much of an expert as I.
419
00:20:23,914 --> 00:20:25,544
Both:
Boo yah!
420
00:20:26,874 --> 00:20:29,713
Forget Blooderella 9.
This was amazing!
421
00:20:29,714 --> 00:20:33,713
Right? Honestly, the best part
422
00:20:33,714 --> 00:20:36,713
has just been having someone
to talk to about all this.
423
00:20:36,714 --> 00:20:38,213
I'm glad I got to share
this with you, Wes.
424
00:20:38,214 --> 00:20:39,544
Me too.
425
00:20:40,584 --> 00:20:43,954
So, what happens now
that I know about aliens?
426
00:20:46,874 --> 00:20:49,294
? ?
427
00:20:53,624 --> 00:20:54,713
Swifty...
428
00:20:54,714 --> 00:20:56,294
I've made a decision.
429
00:20:57,664 --> 00:20:59,873
Some things are more important
than extra-terrestrials,
430
00:20:59,874 --> 00:21:02,004
and friendship is
one of those things.
431
00:21:02,874 --> 00:21:04,503
Wesley is a good person,
432
00:21:04,504 --> 00:21:06,713
and I'm gonna stay friends
with him no matter what you say.
433
00:21:06,714 --> 00:21:08,793
And if you don't like it?
434
00:21:08,794 --> 00:21:11,714
I don't know, you can find
a new babysitter, I guess.
435
00:21:14,124 --> 00:21:15,794
Hmmm.
436
00:21:17,374 --> 00:21:19,793
- Yes. All right.
- Wait, really?
437
00:21:19,794 --> 00:21:23,663
Well, there is a slight chance
438
00:21:23,664 --> 00:21:25,953
that I may not know
the human race
439
00:21:25,954 --> 00:21:27,793
as well as I thought I did.
440
00:21:27,794 --> 00:21:29,793
But if you, as a human,
441
00:21:29,794 --> 00:21:32,833
feel that this friendship
is that important to you,
442
00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:35,084
then I shall defer
to your judgment.
443
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:38,713
Yes, that's very wise. Thanks.
444
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:41,213
But if you remain
friends with him,
445
00:21:41,214 --> 00:21:44,793
he must never discover
the existence of aliens.
446
00:21:44,794 --> 00:21:45,664
Is that clear?
447
00:21:48,294 --> 00:21:50,163
Swifty, I promise.
448
00:21:50,164 --> 00:21:53,453
No one will find out about
the existence of aliens
449
00:21:53,454 --> 00:21:54,873
that doesn't already know.
450
00:21:54,874 --> 00:21:57,334
? ?
451
00:21:58,124 --> 00:22:00,374
(indistinct conversing)
452
00:22:00,914 --> 00:22:02,294
- Yes!
- Oh my god!
453
00:22:07,084 --> 00:22:08,714
And I was like "Ahh!"
454
00:22:15,294 --> 00:22:16,503
- Yes!
- Oh my Lord!
455
00:22:16,504 --> 00:22:18,954
? ?
456
00:22:28,794 --> 00:22:31,503
Next time on Gabby Duran
and the Unsittables...
457
00:22:31,504 --> 00:22:32,753
(kids screaming)
458
00:22:32,754 --> 00:22:34,213
Your babysitting assignment
459
00:22:34,214 --> 00:22:36,123
is a telepathic alien named Sky.
460
00:22:36,124 --> 00:22:39,453
Kids at school call you Crybaby
Duran until you hate it.
461
00:22:39,454 --> 00:22:40,713
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
462
00:22:40,714 --> 00:22:44,254
- This is why we don't bring aliens to school.
- Whoo!
463
00:22:45,254 --> 00:22:47,254
? ?
464
00:23:13,544 --> 00:23:14,544
Gorgeous.
465
00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:19,144
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