Original subtitles

Kali! Snack time!

Kali?

Kali!

(whooshing)

Time to meet your maker.

Okay.

But if I win, you're drinking this nutrient slurry.

Hmm.

(yelling)

(clang)

Whoa, take it easy!

I am taking it easy.

On my planet, we're handed a bo staff

the moment we're born.

Baby Kali: Hyah!

Huh! Cute.

♪♪

(both grunting)

♪♪

(laughing)

I think that's a draw.

You got lucky this time.

But I am a woman of my word.

I will drink half the slurry

and no more.

Gotta say, I think I'm pretty good with this mega hammer.

You might even say I'm getting the swing of...

Oh.

We can patch that.

I wanna say... oops?

(theme song playing)

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ I do normal like a fish rides a bicycle ♪

♪ Fit in like summer and an icicle ♪

♪ Don't fight it, just be an original ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I roller skate outside the lines ♪

♪ When I try to stay in, it's no surprise ♪

♪ It's a fail, it's okay, I'm one of a kind ♪

♪ One of a, one of a kind ♪

♪ So anytime I feel some type of way ♪

♪ Don't understand the human race ♪

♪ So what, so what, so what ♪

♪ I do my thing, I do my thing ♪

♪ You do your thing, You do your thing ♪

♪ When we don't fit in ♪

♪ We stand out in the crowd and we shout it loud ♪

♪ I do my thing, I do my thing ♪

♪ I'm the one and only, I'm the one and only ♪

♪ Don't try to fit in, Don't try to fit in ♪

♪ Mm-hmm, I do my thing ♪

You put a hole through their wall.

A small one...

that turned into a really big one.

Oh, Gabby, if you're going to wield

the Ancient Hammer of Gwargwar, you best wield

the Ancient Hammer of Gwargwar with care.

Listen, Swift, you can't expect me to babysit

a wild, warrior alien like Kali

without a little mess.

Spilt milk, I'd understand.

But deconstructing an entire wall?

You're going to get a reputation as a bad babysitter.

And trust me, bad reputations are very hard to shake.

You hit twelve parked cars

and suddenly you're a "bad driver."

Sorry, Swift. Won't happen again.

Very well. I have a new assignment for you:

Daria Mungo.

She comes from a species of intergalactic tailor aliens.

And they're the best.

Their clothing is admired all the way from Mars

to Gor-Monia to Earth to Other Earth...

- Hmm? - I mean... ahem.

(chuckles nervously)

Off you go!

Sorry, did you say, "Other Earth?"

What? (laughs awkwardly)

Gabby? Really? Another Earth?

With exact replicas of everyone here?

Only chocolate tastes like vanilla

and vanilla tastes like chocolate?

That's just... (laughs)

Tall tales, Gabby!

Tall tales!

I have definitely never summered there!

(door closes)

(classical music playing over stereo)

I gotta say, those are some noice suits.

We take great pride in our work,

applying a millennia of expertise

and using only the finest of...

materials.

Cool. Not creepy at all.

You two have fun tonight.

Me and little Daria here are gonna get rippin',

right, bud?

(laughs nervously)

So rippin'.

You've been a good friend to me over the years,

but things have changed.

I live in the dangerous world of alien danger now.

And that means I can't be held back by little kid stuff anymore.

(distorted) Dream with me.

I'm sorry, Tattery Tom.

Part of me will always love you,

but it's time to grow up.

Hey!

Do you mind? I'm kinda looking for goodies in here.

I can see why you need constant supervision.

You really got attached to this dumb toy?

That's wiggity wack.

Tom and I had some great times.

I regret nothing.

Whatever.

Mind if I take this thing?

I have...

plans.

Sure. See, Tom?

Each ending's just another beginning.

And I know they say one man's trash is another man's treasure,

- but maybe stop... - Treasure!

You've been working on that same shirt all night.

You wanna watch a movie?

Prank call? I know a very gullible Zagellian.

Can I just work, please?

We've been very busy at the tailor shop.

Uh, sure. You go... right ahead.

I'm gonna go imagine what I'd look like with bangs

in the bathroom mirror.

Bathroom? Are you in here?

(sighs)

And the spooky vibe is off the charts.

(pulsing softly)

Huh.

Whoa!

Swift?

That's weird.

- What are you doing in here? - (Gabby gasps)

Oh!

(chuckles awkwardly)

That room is off limits.

Sorry. I just got a little lost looking for the bathroom.

Mr. Mungo: You should leave now.

Mmm.

I warned you, Gabby.

I told you to be more responsible.

Yes, you did. And I have been.

What are you talking about?

The Mungos.

They called and filed a complaint,

saying you turned up to their house late,

made a "ginormous" mess, their words,

and broke their priceless Mercurian crystal vase.

Mercurian crystal is extremely hard

to come by, Gabby.

I didn't do any of that.

Hey, I played it safe.

I even used a coaster.

Me. A coaster. They're lying!

Why on Earth or Other Earth...

Oh. Why do I keep saying that?

Would the Mungos lie?

I don't know.

I did find a strange device

that projected these crazy symbols.

And your picture. Weird, right?

Not weird!

I have an appointment for a suit fitting!

It's probably a calendar!

Well, something's up with them

because I didn't do any of that stuff.

- You gotta believe me... - I don't want to hear it!

We just discussed your irresponsible actions.

This is your last warning.

Next time...

well, there might not be a next time.

- You are dismissed. - Swift, I...

Dismissed!

Hey, I...

Something's going on.

And I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.

Gabby: It's simple.

The Mungos do suits for humans too, right?

So we set up a fitting at your house

and while they're gone, I sneak in

and find that glow-y thing.

They're hiding something,

and whatever's on that device will prove it to Swift.

You're in a very sensitive state right now,

so I'm gonna ask this gently:

Are you positive you didn't do anything...

reckless... at their place?

You are, occasionally,

a bull in a china shop...

What's that supposed to mean?

Okay, to be fair, that was in the way of my gesturing!

Look, I take my babysitting very seriously.

And I accept responsibility when I mess up...

most of the time.

But if you seriously think I'm about to take the blame

for something I didn't do,

then, you sir... (gasps)

Oh! Don't worry about it.

Okay, I'm in!

But I want you to know,

while I pride myself on always being

the distraction guy,

this one's tough for me.

And why is that?

Suits, that's why.

Sheeple wear suits!

My mom's mean boss, Carl, wears a suit!

"Suits" wear suits, Gabby!

That's why they're called "suits!"

(sighs heavily) Look.

I just need you to draw out the fitting

long enough for me to snag that device, okay?

Fine.

You can put a suit on my body, Gabby,

but you can never put a suit on my soul.

Good to know.

Ahh!

- What do you want? - Sleep, Jeremy.

I can't sleep without Tattery Tom.

I tried.

You cuddle buddies are all frauds!

I need to grow up.

But I can't grow up if I can't sleep.

And I can't sleep without Tom.

So I'm gonna need him back.

Yeah. No can do.

I was gonna blend Tom into smithereens,

but we really hit it off.

♪♪

And then the boy opened the closet

and saw a giant mouse.

(laughing)

Hold still!

We were so tuckered out we took a nap together.

You know, this guy's great for helping you get sleep.

Yeah, I know.

Both: He's mine!

All right, Mungos.

Let's see what you're hiding.

Huh?

Where'd it go?

It was right here.

You've seen a weird glow-y thing?

Ah, who am I kidding?

You don't even have a head.

Hope Wes is keeping them busy.

Customer satisfaction is our number one priority, so...

what kind of suit are you looking for?

And be specific.

Oh, I don't know.

Something that pairs pure class with a bit of moxie.

Something that boggles the mind

but delights the eye.

Something that would make the Mona Lisa smile.

That would make the Mona Lisa...

frown.

(sighs)

(rock 'n' roll music playing)

(band music playing)

(country music playing)

(hip-hop music playing)

Whoa!

I see moxie, I see pure class.

I see the impossible face of the Mona Lisa.

You did it.

We're glad that you're pleased.

Ah. I feel like a new man.

I'm never taking it off.

Tell me, what is this marvelous garment made out of?

Wool.

No, that, that can't be right.

I'm, I'm super-allergic to wool.

Since when did they start making suits out of wool?

Since... the first one?

I'm going to politely ask you to leave.

Now!

Come on, come on, come on! I know it's here somewhere!

Wow, Mungos. Try not to smile so much.

Bingo.

(gasps)

You again.

Swift: Breaking and entering?

I am positively horrified.

Mrs. Mungo: Fortunately we got home

before she could steal anything.

Mr. Mungo: Are you quite sure you don't have

a more responsible human to babysit our kind?

Someone less...

her.

Swift: Gabby, do you have

anything to say for yourself?

Hoo hoo!

Well, that's a first for Gabby Duran.

You have refused

to heed my advice

and continued on your path of destruction and disrespect.

I formally suspend you from all babysitting

until further notice.

Now if you'll excuse me,

the Mungos have offered to bump up my fitting.

In their own home, no less!

Shall we?

Tattery Tom: Dream with me.

- Olivia: Let go! - Jeremy: Never!

You gave your trash mouse to me!

He's rightfully mine!

He's not a trash mouse.

He belongs with his momma bear!

(rips)

(gasps) His arm's coming apart at the seam.

We can't keep fighting like this.

(exhales forcefully)

Tell you what.

We'll have a contest.

We'll both hold on to Tom,

and the first person to let go says goodbye.

You're on.

But heads up, I can sit still

for a long time!

My mom once lost me at the mall

'cause she thought I was a mannequin.

Let's do this, human.

(garbled) Dream with me.

(both snoring softly)

What evil plans are you finding?

Are they gonna take over Havensburg?

Abduct a bunch of kids to make them slaves?

Orb: Negative. Everything appears normal.

There's no way the Mungos made up all those lies

just because they don't like me, right?

I mean, who doesn't like me?

Do you want an honest answer?

That means I broke into their house for nothing?

- (grunts) - (beeping)

I have located a hidden directory.

Umm, I'm pretty sure I did that.

What's it say?

It appears the Mungos plan to use

Swift's Gor-Monite flesh as fabric for the ultimate suit.

What?

They're gonna turn Swift's skin into a suit?

Do you know what this means?

It means...

I was right!

I knew there was something fishy about those aliens!

Wait.

They're gonna turn Swift into a suit!

- (line ringing) - Come on, Swift. Pick up.

You've reached Principal Principal Swift.

I'm unavailable because I'm getting fitted

by world-class tailors.

Yay!

Why would he update his voicemail with that?

I've got to warn him about the Mungos!

Do you think they make suits in... round?

Not the time, Orb.

It never is.

I think it's time to get a little reckless.

(moans)

Whoa.

What happened?

Huh! Tattery Tom cast his sleep spell on us!

I love that guy!

Wait... where is he?

- What'd you do with him, you punk? - Me?

Maybe you're hiding him, you sneaky sneak!

How dare you call me a sneaky sneak!

(air horn blares)

The trash mouse isn't missing. I destroyed it.

Why?

Also, what is that thing?

It's our Orb. Why?

You bring home too many things you find in other people's trash.

Sorry not sorry.

This is why I don't get attached to things!

It hurts when they go away, and I don't like that!

I should have just shredded Tom when I had the chance.

I feel... fine.

- Really? - Yeah.

I may never fall asleep again for the rest of my life,

but... (inhales sharply)

isn't it better to have loved Tom and lost him

than to have never loved him at all.

Huh.

I guess you're right.

Thanks, Olivia.

You know, you're a lot like Gabby,

only way more emotionally mature.

I am, aren't I?

Hey, if you're worried about falling asleep,

you should try my ocean sounds.

I recorded them myself.

Jeremy on stereo: Whoosh! Crash! Caw-caw! Caw-caw!

I'm a seagull.

Not gonna happen.

Whoosh!

(bodies thud to floor)

Crash! Caw-caw! Caw-caw!

Whoosh!

(grunting)

Mr. Mungo: Perfect. It's no use.

The force field neutralizes your morphing ability.

But don't worry,

you're going to make a stunning suit.

Gor-Monite flesh is the sleekest and most colorful material in the galaxy.

Mrs. Mungo: Plus, the viscoelastic properties

allows it to conform to any shape or size.

Which means it'll be the most sought out suit in the galaxy.

And we're all going to be very, very rich.

You should consider it a compliment, really.

I certainly will not!

Retrieve the diagrams. It's time.

(grunting)

(Swift panting)

(whimpering)

The plans... they're gone.

- (rumbling) - (gasps)

Gabby! Thank goodness!

Oh, were you looking for this?

Think about what you're doing.

That suit was going to look really good.

Stitch it, Mungo!

Swift: Who would have thought:

I, the damsel and you, the hero?

Thank you, Gabby.

You three are in big trouble.

You've broken nearly every intergalactic law there is.

And I have all the evidence.

Quite the stain on your reputation.

You know, Mungos, we actually have something in common.

I also take a lot of pride in my work.

And you guys lied about me.

I mean, I never showed up late.

I didn't even make a mess.

(gasps)

Oops.

I guess I did break your vase, though.

(chuckles)

Citizen's arrest. How humiliating!

Any last words?

Uh, Gabby?

Yeah, Daria?

You can never pull off bangs.

Uh... wow.

Unnecessary.

Swift?

Ta-ta.

Wait! These dreadful uniforms!

They're hideous!

Please let me tailor them fir...

I'm sorry, Gabby.

I... should have trusted you.

Well, maybe I'd be a little easier to trust

if I was a little less reckless. I get it.

Your smashing through things today saved my life,

so, to borrow an Earth expression,

you just keep doing you.

Hey, I haven't heard from Wesley since he got that fitting.

Wonder what's up?

So itchy...

So itchy...

But so handsome.

I am never taking you off, buddy.

(sighs)

Eh.

Hey, ever wield an ancient hammer before?

Ooh! Pretty sweet, right?

Yes! Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, we'll work on it.

Alone at last, my little trash mouse.

They could never love you like I can.

Dream with me.

I will, Tom. I will.

Principal Swift: Next time on Gabby Duran and the Unsittables...

The Luchachos 25th anniversary party.

No one loves this place more than we do.

I'm pet-sitting again.

Where'd he go!

(Gabby grunts)

- Oh! - (grunts)

You are banned from Luchachos, for life.

(theme music playing)

Man: Gorgeous!