Original subtitles

Defendant, let's explain how and where this all started.

Judge, the whole thing began at Tor di Valle ...

.. Hippodrome, the hell of the race game.

You know, the racing world ...

.. With all those people that gather to bet?

They're all crazy!

Prince Rainier Sforza De Domine was at the races ...

.. And played along with Augustarello, a sweeper.

- Serafino will win this race. - No! O'Sole Mio will win.

Prince, are you stoned?

Each horse has an informant, like Grumpy ...

.. A dwarf that informs bettors.

The horses that you pick always finish last.

- You will not fool me again! - Unfortunately, today Caimano will win.

- Caimano? - Yes

- Give me 2,000 francs for the information and relax. -Okay.

Blacky has worked for attorney De Marchis without pay.

The lawyer does not have a penny, but attended the races ...

with the other horse owners .. including Count Dallara.

I bought two horses from a stable in bankruptcy.

Hello? I'm lawyer De Marchis.

I want to know about Cambialetta ...

Who? Cambialona?

Don't exaggerate, don't go to jail over money.

I have some business to be concluded ...

.. And you'll soon end up in jail!

I am a gentleman and owner of a stud!

He's only a horse named Soldatino that never wins!

Happy Roversi lost all of his money at the races.

Armandino said "Er Pomata" set the standard for technical riding ...

.. But he's just a bastard.

- I have a tip on Paganini. - No, Mon Amour is the best!

Look at that beautiful beast. Also, the driver is Ciccolini.

If the horse does not have the speed, he'll go to the glue factory!

Instead, under the pressure of front, the rear ...

Excuse me, I was talking about another rear.

Finally, there is me, Bruno Fioretti, known as "Mandrake" ...

.. transformed by my talent and magic smile.

I am part of the entertainment world ...

.. With brief stops in the fashion world.

At Tor di Valle, I'm always a striking figure.

- Are you going to the North Pole? - Manzotin, I might go to the North Pole ...

.. But you go fuck yourself! - Fool!

Butcher!

In the fashion world I'm a celebrity.

- Hello, Mafalda. Together? - Yes

Do you do more than act?

These are hard times, otherwise I wouldn't be wearing a fur coat in summer.

- You're always in Milan? - Sure. - We do the 14.

- Always look at them. - Yes

- Are you married? - What?

- You got married? - No, Mandrake is always free as the wind.

- Give me a good horse. - Mon Amour!

Stop it!

Mon Amour, number 7, will win the next race.

- Is that a safe bet? - Don't worry

Bet 20,000 lire for me.

- Mon Amour is a sure win? - Sure!

I don't joke about horses or women.

The driver must be stern.

When I ran ...

- Are you looking at the sky? - No. - I saw you!

the course, it was in the press!

- Yes, I read the clippings. - Hello, Ciccolini!

I am, Er Pomata! Destroy!

- He is a friend of mine. - Then Mon Amour? - Vincent.

- But you have the money? - Yes, let me find it.

Have you seen Manzotin?

- Who will you bet on, Manzotin? - My name is not Manzotin!

- My name is Othello Rinaldi. - Yes, three pounds of gut!

You could make the butcher proud. Who will you bet?

- On O'Sole Mio, but what do you care? - I love you and want to help.

Bet on Paganini, the one with the white spot.

Paganini does not have a white spot.

I see that you are not observant.

I bet you 20,000 lire that you forgot to wear a tie?

- I won't steal your money. - What does your tie look like?

I always wear a tie, as Roma is Roma.

You lose! Today you are not wearing a tie. Pay up.

Unfortunately, I was in the company of Felice and Pomata.

"All for One and One for All" like "The Three Musketeers"?

We were three people starving to death.

Mon Amour, Vincente, are you sure? I'll play the clothes off my back!

Don't worry. After it's over, you can buy a tuxedo.

- Here's the money. - I insist on Paganini.

He has already won once, and Paganini does not repeat!

So ... these are his, and with mine, makes 90,000 lire.

More ... one, two, three ...

- Did you steal from charity? - There are 15,000 lire.

Rudy, put 105,000 lire on Mon Amour ... winner!

Announcing the race Tord Valle in Rome.

The runners are preparing.

They are all experienced, so we are expecting a hotly contested race.

In my opinion, O'Sole Mio from the Dallara stable should win.

Here come the horses.

The speed and the alignment are satisfactory.

They're off! Paganini goes ahead, followed by Lucky Lady and O'Sole Mio

The group is close together with Mon Amour in the lead!

Soldatino is in the rear.

He is always last!

Mon Amour is still leading, followed by O'Sole Mio.

But who knows if he can hold on!

- How's he doing? - I don't think he can hold on. - It's strategy.

Soldatino is always last. When will you get rid of him?

I'm ignoring that!

Ciccolini is not pushing Mon Amour ...

O'Sole Mio .. is attacking.

Maybe Ciccolini is holding back for the final sprint.

The fight for first place is between Mon Amour and O'Sole Mio.

- Go, Ciccolini! - Come on!

O'Sole Mio attempts to overtake Mon Amour, but he won't yield.

Mon Amour is running at high speed toward the finish line.

Go, Ciccolini! Mon Amour!

Mon Amour is holding off O'Sole Mio, but he breaks the rules and is disqualified!

- O'Sole Mio wins. - You lose!

He didn't have to do that!

- Why not sell Soldatino? - Who would buy him?

Mon Amour, wait! Now I'll show you!

I bet 20,000 lire! Damn ... thief!

You want a piece? You ruined me!

I'll eat you!

Bite Ciccolini, not the horse!

Ciccolini, get out of horseracing!

I will eat your heart out.

- It's empty, not even a drop. - Now we must go on foot.

- You could have gotten gas! - He's a valet.

- You had to blame me. - The car is yours!

I played the gas money too.

I shouldn't listen to you.

Mon Amour is not a horse, he's a donkey!

When you talk about Mon Amour, rinse out your mouth.

- He is a certain type of horse. - The no-good type!

Ciccolini is no good!

I could take his place and make Mon Amour win.

I have the talent!

- I have newspaper clippings. - Pomata!

Your cuts were too tough!

Buffoons!

O'Sole Mio!

We won 300,000 lire, and you don't have money for gas!

If you bet your wife cheats on you, you'll win for sure!

Tomorrow we focus on horses in Naples?

Here it says Rigoletto could be a surprise.

Also Cancan could beat Mambo and Royal Flash.

It says that he's in great shape.

And could win if the dirt is not heavy.

We talk about what's printed.

It's useless for me to read the newspapers. I have everything here in my head.

They should give me a degree in "horse science."

It's not fair! She works because she's good ...

.. But I'm unemployed.

She says I'm a bum, overwhelmed by the vice ...

.. And have bad friends. - Fuck!

I didn't meant it, But she is right.

I had a job and if I was smarter ...

.. By now I'd be a famous actor.

With my smile I could become a Dustin Hoffman ...

.. A Steve McQueen, an Al Pacino a ... - Are those horses?

- No, they are jockeys. - So, what do we care?

Why shouldn't I listen to her? She loves me!

Eeehh!

Who said "eehh"? I felt good.

- Darling, are you done with your friends? - I'll be right there, dear.

Goodbye, Mandrake. See you tomorrow.

- Gabriella, what does this mean? - It means we're closed!

Go away! This is my house.

Really, it's a bar, not a house. Sparrow!

Ouch!

Finally! When there are races, I have to cover your shift.

What a bore!

We can go too. There is no one.

- Look at Mandrake run! - Let's get some sleep. - No!

Do not insist, I am exhausted!

It's late. You could've called. Where have you been?

- Where at, at my job. - That's where!

Don't be sarcastic. I was talking with my friends ...

- About the horses? - No, about our marriage!

It is so, sparrow.

I want to marry you.

- Son of a bitch! - Forget my mother.

He makes peace, then comes the fun!

- Why? - You must not tell anyone.

Only I know. It's a delicate matter.

Word of honor!

When Mandrake loses at the races ...

- He fails, in other words "impotent." - What does that mean? - You are ignorant!

- He has a complex. - Like Oedipus? - I don't know who it's like.

If he loses at the races, he cannot make love.

So Gabriella realizes he has lost.

- Bravo! A tragedy happens. -So? - He has to fantasize.

He thinks of Ursula Andress, Barbara Bouchet, Laura Antonelli ...

There is also the risk that Marlon Brando comes to mind!

- Bruno, take off your coat! - I wanted to talk about it.

You should shorten it a bit; It's longer in fashion.

- Never mind the coat, You'd look good naked! - I know.

96, 83, 85 are perfect measurements.

Bruno, tell me something.

Yes, listen.

- I've got a craving ... - Tell me! - I want ...

- Come here! - I have a headache. - You can do it yourself.

I have a sudden craving ... for cod fillets.

You will do fine. Batter, butter, and maybe eggs.

Gabriella, the times are serious.

The price of eggs is through the roof ...

.. Creating serious problems.

Today, to buy an egg, you need a partner ...

.. It's become a massive problem. How massive? - I don't know.

So massive for the people that it becomes a social problem.

- The need for eggs could start a nuclear war. We are in danger! - Yes.

- The danger is here. - I'm not joking.

- You lost today, right? - Me? - Judas! Coward!

You've lost everything at the racetrack!

Sparrow! Wait!

- Wait! - Coward!

I work all day, look forward to the night, and all you want is cod!

Wretch! I hate you!

Enough!

Come on, little sparrow! This is enough, calm down.

Stand still, now I'm here.

- Son of a bitch! - Forget my poor mother.

I think Cancan could place well. Come!

- What is it? - "Er Ventresca" is in front of my house.

- I have to close. - Close, he will be back sooner or later.

- I see! - He's pissed off because I owe him 300,000 lire.

He's waited for five years. He has hands like meat grinders.

If he catches me, he'll rip me to pieces.

Ouch! Ouch! - I'm closing. - Go ahead!

Wait! We have to go to the dentist.

- At this hour? - He has a severe tooth ache.

Ah! I'm desperate! It's a matter of life or death.

Thanks.

If I catch him, I'll cut off his head.

Come in, everyone is asleep.

- Armando, is that you? - Arsenic got rid of the lice!

It's rude! I waited for you to prepare dinner.

You are here! I cannot offer you dinner every evening.

Do you hear me?

- I heard! - Am I right? - Yes, Giuliana.

- This is not a hotel. - Your sister ...

- There is nothing I can do. - It takes patience.

We need a gas mask! Check in 15 minutes.

- See if Ventresca is still waiting. - You study tonight.

Armando! - Yes Come see Grandma. - I'm coming.

You never sleep. You're always awake!

- What do you want? - I have not smoked all day.

- Got a cigarette? - I have one.

- You want it all? - Sure. - I knew it!

Remember to put out the butt.

- What day is tomorrow? - Don't worry.

I'll take you for a walk. Now sleep.

- Is Giuliana back? - Yes

- Is she still going out with that man? - I don't know, but I think ...

She can't find a boyfriend. She still works in a bank.

- She supports all of us. - Luckily! Now go to sleep.

What is wrong with Giuliana?

Don't you know?

Her breath would kill an army of mosquitoes, like DDT!

- What can she do? - Try a spray that works.

ZZZZZZZ! PSS!

ZZZZZZZ! Ah! Do you understand? Good night.

- Where are you going? - Do you want to keep discussing Giuliana's breath?

Wait! Nobody wants to talk in this house.

You have reached an answering machine.

Leave a message after the tone. BEEP!

Son of a bitch!

Give me 300,000 lire or I'll break your legs! I'll wait outside your house ...

Your time has expired.

He sleeps with the race paper!

Wake up, it's ten!

Get up!

Oh God!

I need to put plugs in my nose, not my ears!

- Have you not had any mints this morning? - Boor!

Check the smell in your mouth!

Check.

Attention ... - It's Happy! - Lucky you!

Funny! Did you study?

Yes, I spent the night on a "Horse".

But instead of my ass, my head hurts.

We have to decide which horse to recommend for Agnano.

- Do you know which horse? - Yes, but I have no money.

- What have you found? - Mandrake is doing a commercial.

They pay him 100,000 lire.

- Commercial, take twenty-two! Action!

- Your driver's license, please. - I don't have it.

- That's a big risk. - But I always carry a bottle ...

.. Of Vat 69. - That's good!

I don't make stops for bottles.

Only this can save a man from a ticket.

Stop! Say "Whisky protects a man."

- It is a man's protection from a ticket. - Stop!

A man is not protected without whiskey.

Stop!

I have already explained that the joke should be clear, precise.

- Yes, what should I say? - "Whiskey protects a man."

- Now I remember! - "Whiskey protects a man."

- Can we try again? - Sure. Perfect.

- The license, please. - I don't have it.

- That is a big risk. - But I always carry a bottle of Vat 69.

That's good! I don't make stops for bottles.

Only this can save a man from a ticket. - Stop!

It is a ticket's protection from a man. - Stop!

It gets in a man's skull without a ticket. - Stop!

- A little protection from a ticket. - No!

- "With a ticket?" - No! - "With the protection?" - Neither!

- Stop! Who wrote these lines? - Run them off!

- Who hired him? - I don't know, him and the secretary.

Get out of here. Stop!

You always screw up!

You make a bad impression whenever you leave home.

However, the directors spoil the actors.

I told him to his face. Did you hear?

Now we do not have the money for Agnano. Go get changed.

"Money for Agnano, going to change ... "

I shall not change, and I'll figure out how to find the money ...

.. And pretend like I'm really a cop.

What have I done?

- License and registration. Understand? - What? I wasn't speeding.

- Understand? - But what? I wasn't speeding.

Coming from downtown you made a u-turn ...

.. where local traffic, converged in a market area ...

Closed to traffic .. and in violation of Articles ...

.. 1, 2, 13, 35, 26, 1959 54 and 11 of the Highway Code.

- That will cost 47,500 lire. - Do not write a ticket. Please!

Pascucci, you get older without ever winning!

- Have you seen the lawyer De Marchis? - I am not his messenger! - Thank you.

Mazaika, you never give me a good horse!

He's eaten two million in corn and not won for two years.

If all goes well, I'll pay everything in 24 hours.

We're getting tired of all this waiting!

Make that call.

Give me the bills. I have work to do and you bring me bills.

Two gentlemen like us arguing over money!

You don't understand. If you don't pay what's owed ...

.. No more corn for the horse. Indeed, he is already on a diet!

This horse eats too much!

You are my downfall! You eat too much and never win.

More than two million in corn!

Do you have a silo instead of a belly?

I'll put you on bread and water like a prisoner!

- Lawyer. - Yes

Lawyer, my respects.

I appeal to the solidarity that binds us for years.

- What solidarity? - The solidarity of horses!

- If we help each other ... - Leave me alone.

I have a horse good for Agnano. I only need 100,000 lire.

- You know me ... - Exactly!

- Here is the guarantee. - What?

- My grandmother's pension. - Shame on you!

I'll win, and I'll buy a nice gift for my grandmother.

- What is the safe horse? - Cancan! - Cancan is a paralytic.

He seems paralyzed but is instead a Trojan horse!

- Well? - Nothing.

What about this? Twelve grams without the chain.

- It's fake. - Yes, but sacred.

You're finally here! Today, there was not even racing.

I have a family, I gotta go home!

- Hello, love! - Welcome back. - Can I try this?

- Where did you work? The races? - What spirit!

Today I have really worked. I shot a hard scene.

I was the star. The director was pleased with me.

There's 18,850 lire in the register.

Today I'm full of confidence!

You have a long face!

I feel like I did after getting drunk in college.

- I found only 20,000 lire. - My boss has not paid me.

- I also have 20,000 lire. - We're at 40,000 lire.

To play Agnano, we need at least 200,000 lire.

- Mandrake, sell the car. - It's mortgaged. - I knew it!

- We need an idea. - It'll come to you, you are Mandrake.

- It's come to me. - There it is! - We'll need great acting skills.

We can punish someone who has long chastised us.

- An infamous hick. - Manzotin!

Move.

Butcher Rinaldi.

Hello?

I am the wife of the Count De Simone, Arenula Largo, 2.

I would like a pound of meat ...

- A pound of meat! - One kilo!

A kilo of good veal.

I have meat so fresh that it seems alive.

Repeat the address, I'll send my son.

Conte De Simone, Arenula Largo, 2. Thanks.

No!

I forgot. Give your son change for 100,000 lire.

We do not have small bills.

- Okay. - Thanks, I'll expect him.

They believed me. Fuck him!

- Where are you going? - For the Count. - Top floor. The elevator broke.

- You are the butcher's boy? - Yes.

The elevator stopped at the attic, so you have to climb on foot.

I'm sorry.

Gregory, you think of everything.

Yes, Count.

The Countess can take the big car.

- I'll take a taxi to handle matters. - And the dog?

Take him for a walk.

Did you bring the change for 100,000 lire?

- 94,000 lire exactly. My father counted it. - Well, I trust your father.

- Now the butler will give you the 100,000 lire. Gregory! - Yes

- Give 100,000 lire to the boy. - I'll get it.

He's a strange guy, but he's harmless.

Wait! Here's a thousand lire.

Take care, study!

We're going to win!

Cancan to win! Luckily we have time.

Permission! Room for three!

- Who bets on Cancan? - They are stupid!

- They have bet on Cancan! - And you? - I bet on Mambo!

In the lead is Cancan followed by Royal Flash, Camal ...

.. Mambo, Orvieto, Topless and the rest of the field.

Mambo has moved into third place.

Go, Cancan!

Now, it's Royal Flash with Mambo in second.

Cancan is gaining ground.

Mambo and Cancan, neck and neck.

Great Mambo! Great Mambo!

Cancan tires and gives way to Mambo for the win!

Did you see that?

I eat it!

We do not even have money for the train.

- And what good am I? - Yeah, what's the use?

That's 10,000 lire to take the train!

Come on, let's take a walk.

Mambo! Mambo! - Mambo the winner!

The train is about to leave. Get the tickets.

The red card wins, the black card loses.

Come closer, play the game.

The red card wins, the black card loses.

This black and this black and this red.

The red card wins. Here there. Play the game.

The red card wins, the black loses. This is red.

The red card wins, the black card loses. Choose.

- This one! - No.

Boarding at track 6 for the train to Rome.

- We need an idea for free travel. - That's hard.

- I'm not really Mandrake! Tickets! - Here he is.

- He's big! - He seems like Sandokan.

- Come on! - Go ahead and relax.

Okay.

Sandokan! Sandokan! Sandokan! Sandokan!

- You're not before me. - Felice, let's go!

- What for? - I booked a table in the dining car.

What? We have only 200 lire.

200 lire will be fine! The servings are very small.

We must go, because a friend is coming.

- Wait for me! - Come on!

At the first station, we get off and get back on the last car.

- Excuse me. - Excuse, excuse me.

- Eat well. - Damn you!

- How long is this train? - We'll stop at the end.

- Run! - Don't do it!

- Come on! - No more! - You must have flat feet!

- Here he is! There is no peace! - Come on!

- I can't take it anymore. - Free travel is tiring.

- What do we do? - I don't know. - Here he is!

- Use your magic smile. - Magic!

Come on, or he'll think we're fags.

Oh God!

Finally! How was your trip?

- We did everything on foot. - But we didn't spend much.

How will I face Gabriella tonight?

Today, we discussed how comics are still valid.

I mean the books, Donald does not ...

- Ouch! - You played and lost, right?

- You're not only reading about it! - But I say things that make sense.

- Enough of these horses! - You are only interested in sex.

- You are a coward! I hate you! - Let's talk.

- What is your problem? - I'm desperate.

My man is a scoundrel. Tell me what to do!

Cut the deck. Mrs. or Miss?

Miss. I must say that I'm a bit skeptical.

Many are, but the cards never lie.

Let's see.

- The fate begins to speak. - What? - A horse.

Another horse!

Another. Three horses below.

- Three horses? - You are very lucky.

- I see a beautiful wedding. - Are you sure?

Sure. The cards never lie. Three horses and a wedding.

Look! On the first horse there is a maid.

The second a king ...

.. And on the third, an ace of spades. - Is that a good thing?

Yes, a great combination.

But it's up to you to interpret the sign of destiny.

We need to talk, I don't like this silence.

I love you, but if when I lose I feel guilty ...

.. Not my fault. Pleased when I win ... - You don't ever win!

- When three horses finish in a row and you win, what is it? - A trifecta.

Look at this card and tell me the name of a horse.

- King, a horse only good for the slaughterhouse. - Good.

- This? - Ace of Spades ... I do not want to play. - Answer!

Ace of Spades ... Working in the morning makes me dizzy.

- D'Artagnan! A nag. - And this?

Knave ... Soldatino! A horse that should be stoned.

King, D'Artagnan and Soldatino. It's a fantastic trio!

- We must play it. - No, those are three losers!

I have a feeling that we will win.

You need to have experience for racing.

I feel that we will win. Bet this money for me.

Let's try! King, Soldatino and D'Artagnan.

Antonello da Messina, a winner.

Where can we get the money? That's the root of the problem ...

At the Mount of Pledges!

I've already committed.

Camel-hair coat, cashmere dress ...

.. The sheets for my sister ...

That's why I'm not married. I'm not reliable with anyone.

An alarm clock, a pair of clogs ...

Pertrovare money, it would take a miracle.

Ventresca, are you there? He's there!

He has enormous patience.

Never takes a break, night and day.

Finally! Pomata, stop. I figured out the trick!

This time, you don't fool me. Give me the money!

See ya! Today I cannot wait!

Sooner or later, I'll mangle you!

Gabriella gave you the money to play? I don't have any.

- Let me see. - Here it is. 30,000 lire.

What have you done? Have you put a spell on her?

No, it was her idea. She wants to play a set.

- We'll focus on three good horses. - She gave them to me.

Soldatino, King and D'Artagnan.

Soldatino, King and D'Artagnan?

- You never know. - You know what? - Tell me.

It's the biggest bullshit ever heard since man invented the horse!

Pomata, let's go.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Well, is everything all right? - I took cortisone and insulin.

- All Swiss expensive stuff. - How much did you take? - The usual.

Gabriella has a feeling about the winner.

She also guessed that the horses run in the trio of Cesena.

- There's something magical! - Today we have a great chance.

- Antonello da Messina runs. - And the jockey Bocconi!

No way they'll lose, and you want to bet on lame horses?

If your wife wants to play a trifecta ...

Tell her that you'll play it .. and then we'll do it our way.

I thought about that, but it seems wrong.

You sound like the Prince of Edinburgh!

After what we've done for money ...

.. And now you want to be a gentleman?

I have to think.

That's it.

- Dr. Magalini, sorry. - Can I help you?

These are drugs that ... I do not know if you ...

My sister got these medicines.

I also have the envelope with the name.

- My poor grandmother is dead! - I'm sorry.

Help me. Now these drugs are no longer necessary for my grandmother.

Instead we must pay for the funeral, the carriage, the horses ...

Horses cost a lot!

How old was she?

More or less your age. She was a flower.

- It's irregular, but I'll make an exception ... - Thanks!

You are an angel, doctor.

- It's worth 48,800. - Thanks, that's what I thought.

Here are 50,000 lire. Do you have change for the rest?

I think so.

- I have a thousand lire ... and an eraser. - Okay. That's fine.

Thank you, I'll take away the envelope.

If you met my grandmother, she would thank you.

Go, Ezekiel!

The horses are coming down the stretch.

Ezekiel wins, followed by Ruby and Charlotte.

Stop! This is a robbery!

Antonello da Messina to win!

Mandrake wanted to play Soldatino, King and D'Artagnan in the trifecta!

That's the biggest bullshit I've ever heard ...

Since man invented the horse!

- Attorney, what do you think about Soldatino? - He is a catastrophe!

- Let's go play. - These are my 50,000 lira.

- 30,000 lira from Mandrake ... - Are you sure? - Trust me!

You? 2,000 lira!

82,000 lira on Antonello da Messina to win!

I'm a son of a bitch.

The horses are aligned behind the starting gate. They're off!

Antonello da Messina in first, followed by King and Ramona.

- Go! - Let us see how beautiful you are!

I don't overreact anymore.

Antonello da Messina in front of King, Ramona and Soldatino.

Soldatino is gaining on the outside.

- Loosen the reins! - Watch Soldatino.

Soldatino increases the pace along with King.

What are they doing?

Soldatino passes Antonello da Messina and takes the lead!

I'm a bit worried.

Don't worry. It's just temporary.

Soldatino is ahead of Antonello da Messina ...

.. King and D'Artagnan. Antonello Messina has a crash.

Soldatino wins!

The trifecta is: Soldatino, King and D'Artagnan.

The trifecta of Gabriella!

I won!

I am ruined!

- I have a horse that has won! - I'll kill you!

- Blacky! We won! - Where is he? There he is!

- Are you angry with me? - I'll kill you!

Leave him alone! Stop!

Let me go!

The trifecta that Gabriella wanted to play paid twenty million ...

.. And I, as a Judas, sold out to Pomata.

How could I go home when she's celebrating already?

We won! Long live the horse!

I had a score to settle, but the infamous Pomata ...

.. Had escaped.

I waited outside his house ...

.. And finally decided to postpone revenge.

I was sure that Gabriella would notice.

I couldn't perform when I was losing 20,000 lire ...

.. And now it's twenty million! The champagne helped me.

I pretended to get drunk with Gabriella.

She eventually passed out.

Betting against Soldatino, Your Honor.

A twist of fate that hits me in the face!

- Look at him go! - 1 minute 18 seconds. It's a record time.

Soldatino is crazy! He's become a champion!

- It was always the case. - Now, I have the time to prove it.

He's become a champion! The golden year of Soldatino!

- Lawyer. - Congratulations, Stelvio. - What do we do about what you owe?

Thinking about the arrears? This is just the beginning!

If you do not pay me, I still will not give him the corn.

In fact, do not give it to him. When he's not eating, he wins.

On the track, thinking about oats does not stop him anymore.

We'll participate in the Grand Prix! I entered him.

Soldatino really has a chance of winning?

He makes great times. He could beat our Bernadette.

- Who is the biggest driver in Europe? Jean-Louis Rossini.

- Call him, I want him to lead Bernadette. - Fantastic!

- Well? - Where do I get twenty million?

- You are important in the field of the "tricks". - Funny.

I need twenty million, Mafalda.

- You must be in big trouble. - Exactly.

I have the biggest cock that you have ever seen!

Hick! I do not have twenty million.

Don't you have a handy businessman or minister?

- There is a crisis, otherwise I would not be here to help your ass. - Fine!

- You have a friend? - I've tried for three days.

If I find him, he'll be swollen like a bagpipe!

Where are you going?

- Have you seen Armando? - Today. - Good.

- I got you! - Poor Grandma!

- What? - She died tonight. - Let it go, I don't believe you!

She died, really.

A prayer. Do you hear?

She's dead. Poor Grandma!

They are praying.

I don't trust you. I want to see for myself.

Poor Grandma has left!

Even these guys have been understanding of the situation.

They had come to collect debts.

But the debts disappear in the face of the debt we pay to the Lord.

- You have ten days. - Thank you.

- Er Ventresca. - Mandrake, pleasure.

- Belli Capelli. - Courage. - Er Roscoe. - Mandrake.

Pomata, I don't know what to say.

- I have to say something. - Even if I tell you ...

.. It would be useless. - In these moments I am alone.

For my grandmother was like a mother.

When Mom dies, sons are bitter!

- I too have a situation ... - I suppose.

Who is that?

- Save yourself. - Why? - Careful.

Oh God!

- What is it? - Poor Grandma!

I warned you.

- Did she get you too? - No, I knew about it.

In the district, they call her "Tornado, the breath that kills."

Now do you understand? I'll be completely alone.

- When my sister gets married ... - No! Do not think of that!

- Courage. - Goodbye.

- Thank you, Grandma. They're gone. - I won't do it any more!

It's bad luck!

We have hit bottom.

All three of us are in trouble.

Really, two of us, he is quiet. Eat your peanuts!

I thought ... if I disappeared?

I could leave a letter to Gabriella in which I confess all ...

.. And say I'll kill myself.

She would get upset and call the police, firefighters, divers ...

.. And I would return after three days. - She will really kill you.

You are also right.

It seems to me a brilliant idea.

Also, in those three days, she might not agonize at all.

- What do you mean? - It's not possible?

- Women are unpredictable. - Do you understand?

- At that point ... - What?

I'll be back home the same and kill her.

You go fuck yourself!

Hello! Okay. Do you understand?

It's the lawyer.

- Lawyer! - Stop! - What are you doing?

- Is that water cold? - Yes

I can't do it!

I'm too much of a coward.

- You want to do something crazy! Why? - You ask why?

For too many years, I've swallowed bitter pills.

Bring me a large coffee and very sweet.

- Who gets the bill? - Guys, stop.

I won't take money from you ...

.. Even though I am in debt!

I owe three million to Stelvio, also to my ...

- "Driver!" - The driver.

The Grand Prix was my last hope.

- Soldatino is now going strong. - Making some excellent times.

I know that Soldatino's times are better than the starters ...

.. And would win for sure.

But Dallara called Jean-Louis Rossini from France ...

.. to guide Bernadette.

- Who is driving him? - Nobody. - That's terrible.

- See how he laughs. - Of course, he always wins.

Wait.

What is it?

- Is there a spot? - No.

Oh! By the way ... they look the same.

- Exactly! - What are you talking about?

He has a distinctive look, but he resembles me a little.

He could neutralize Bernadette, hold back ...

.. And I win the grand prize. - We will win!

- 60 million! - Shut up.

- You play the part of Rossini. - There would be no problem.

- If I drop the character, I ... They'll know. - Yes

You are a great actor!

- I don't understand what you want to do. - With so ...

- No! - Are you sure?

- No! - Just hold back Bernadette.

The race takes place at night. Nobody will recognize you.

Enough! I'm in trouble enough already.

I do not want to be involved in a situation that is criminal!

When Gabriella finds out the truth, she will kill you ...

.. It will be no different if you commit a crime.

Now I'm going to see her and tell her everything.

That's better than getting in this mess with you.

- Tell her! - Sure.

Quick, boys!

Bring in the coffee machine.

That table, on the end!

- Careful with the chairs. - Bring that in.

- Where should we put the benches? - Outside.

Mr ..

Surprise! See the project at the bar.

- Preview - What bar? - I'm changing everything.

- We have not collected the winnings. - We'll pay the bills, 15 million.

What do you think?

I could not tell Gabriella we didn't have any money ...

.. to pay the bills.

- Say something! - I am overcome with emotion!

- Jean Louis Rossini? - Yes

- I am a police commissioner. - Police? - Yes, the Italian police.

Follow me without question. I'll explain everything.

We know that there is an ongoing kidnapping attempt.

But we do not know if they want to kidnap you or the horse.

- Come. - Where are we going? - To the bathroom.

Don't worry.

For your safety, you'd better be disguised.

Ah! Fool! It's my helper, don't worry.

Wear this suit and give me your clothes.

- So you won't be recognized. - All naked?

Sure, are you ashamed?

- There he is! - Come on, guys!

The formidable Rossini is here.

Rossini never loses, and this is his first time to race in Rome.

- Do you want to make a statement? - "No comment!"

- I am Count Dallara. Do you speak Italian? - No.

Not French either. Get in, let's go to the hotel.

Look over this way.

A smile.

We'll stay in a secret location.

Do you really think someone is angry with me?

It's likely.

In my opinion, they want to kidnap you.

Now start the terror operation. Caps!

Blacky, put on his hood!

Someone is following us. I knew it!

It's true, a car is following us!

Pull over beside them!

Stop the car! This is a kidnapping!

- You're the most ugly, hideous things I have ever seen! - What did you say?

Do not joke! Our organization does not forgive!

You don't mess with "The violent arm of the law"

What are you doing? If you kill him, we end up in jail.

Help!

Be careful or we'll kill everyone!

I made a secret shot to Niki Lauda!

- Can you see with the hood? - Sure.

- Shit! - Commissioner, you are amazing!

I would hate to be in the place of the driver.

In that organization, he who errs must pay.

- I did not see the pole! - You've ruined me!

The car is destroyed, and I have spent more money for clothes and everything else!

Madame!

Are you mad?

Welcome to our hotel, Mr. Rossini.

He is a special kind!

Now go to your room to rest.

A REST! Do you understand?

This afternoon, I'll accompany you to the track.

Try to talk to the mare.

Speak with the mare. She, too, is French.

- I understand! What do I care!

Follow me, sir.

Come. Quick!

Come!

Open, Caruso!

Come, Rossini.

This is Sergeant Mafalda Caruso.

She will take care of your safety. She is a judo and karate champion.

- Ah! - Do not scream!

Do not worry. You will remain hidden here ...

.. Till we discover who is responsible.

Attorney, Louis Jean Rossini.

No! Mandrake at the Excelsior. I have a room full of flowers.

I have fooled everyone. I drink champagne, and I speak French.

It's okay! The plan worked perfectly.

- And it burned my hand. How?

- Talk to Bari? - No, I'm French.

- I'm exercising. - God bless you!

It'll be okay!

- It's not possible! - Be calm. You are in good hands.

Great protection for a great sportsman.

- Do you know who Rossini is? - No. - He is number one!

- At driving horses and directing orchestras. - Do you understand?

Ta ta ta! Ta ta ta! I remember Paris in '71.

At the French Grand Prix. Valentina!

- Daughter of Lucrezia Borgia. - Yes!

Valentina was fantastic, just wanted to go wild.

Valentina and I were pulling ...

Sit down. Pretend it is a buggy. There is a crowd.

- You make like the horse. - It was wonderful!

Here is Valentina. These are the reins, there is the crowd. Yes!

Move your ass, come on! Brava! Brava, Valentina!

Already has his eyes bugging out. You're cooking! Go!

He should not come out until morning. Do your best.

Alberto Joy speaking for Tor di Valle racecourse ...

.. For the Grand Prix of Aces.

Here's the champion, Bernadette, of Count Dallara.

To guide, and coming from France, Jean Louis Rossini ...

The man that for ten years .. has triumphed around the world.

SPAGHETTI! MACARONI! The organization is "merde"!

Let go of the whip!

- Do not touch! - Up yours!

- Finally! - I checked, and everything is fine.

- The lawyer gave you the money? - Here it is. - Well!

Bandini! Two on Soldatino.

- 20,000 or 2,000 on Soldatino? - What? Two million!

Yesterday you played for peanuts! Where are these millions?

- Here they are! Then 20 million on Soldatino.

Seriously, I need help.

First of all, I'm a fake jockey.

It's the first time I drive. Do you understand?

You have to go slow so that Soldatino can win.

You cannot always win!

I want to be paid before the race!

- In half an hour ... - What happens in half an hour?

- It can all happen! - Do not talk nonsense.

You're in trouble from the start. Rossini never loses!

- You get such treatment from this hick? - Who does he think he is?

She wears pounds of shit!

- It's all fake jewelry! - Go away, otherwise ...

Fool! Someone else can take my place!

- Where are you going? - Lawyer, what do we do?

Let the race begin! Soldatino will win for sure.

It doesn't matter who is driving. Just the first asshole ...

Here I am! I still have a license!

The driver of Soldatino, Poker Stelvio ...

.. Will be replaced by Armando Pellicci.

Trot! Trot! One, two! One, two!

Pomata! Trot! Trot!

What are you doing here? Today is my day!

What's happening?

Don't break my balls! I have the race in hand.

- Tell me what's happening! - My time has come!

You know, "Gone With the Wind"? That's me!

Now I have to concentrate. Trot! Trot!

The horses are coming up behind the machine.

They are on the curve, the autostart comes on line in the stands ...

.. And the speed increases slightly.

They're off! Susanna, Apple Pie and Soldatino take the lead.

Bernadette remains in last place.

She cannot take the pace. There's disappointment in the stands.

Meanwhile, Soldatino goes ahead, followed by Susanna and Apple Pie.

Go, Soldatino! Fly, Soldatino!

Flying! Oh, oh! Soldatino, do you see who you are!

Bernadette, you can't do this.

You have to go faster, or the fraud will be uncovered.

That's better.

We cannot make a bad impression.

Go, Pomata! It's your day!

Soldatino in the lead, followed by Apple Pie and Susanna.

Meanwhile, Bernadette is starting to trot.

She's found her usual speed and is catching up.

No, Bernadette! Slow down!

Damn that horse! It looks like the Orient Express!

Remember, Soldatino must win. You are Saving Silverman!

Go, lovely!

Who? Why are you doing that?

What are you doing? Where are you going? Brake!

Where are the cuts?

Are you crazy? I must win!

Hold your horse!

Driver, want to teach me to drive?

- You do not know how to hold! - You look like you're sitting on the bidet!

- Stop! - You'll see!

Go, lovely! Go, Bernadette!

Go, Soldatino!

Incredible! Bernadette joins Soldatino.

Soldatino resists the attack of Bernadette ...

.. But Rossini is preparing for the final sprint.

Go, Bernadette!

She wants to win!

Soldatino tries to resist, but Bernadette surpasses him.

His efforts fail, and Bernadette wins!

We won!

After a lifetime of defeats, I wanted to win, to be first!

It was an irresistible subconscious impulse.

Nobody else could understand, not even the lawyer.

He claimed to know the law, it was all calculated.

Instead, I don't even have a lawyer.

I'm talking for three hours, because we do not have the money for a lawyer.

We have been arrested 24 hours after having committed the act.

I think it's the only case in Italy ...

.. Of officials immediately enforcing the law.

Silence!

Silence!

Judge, now you know all the facts.

The Grand Prix of the Aces, after the cancellation of the race ...

.. was repeated and Bernadette, driven by Rossini, won ...

- With a time of 1 minute 15 seconds. - Who cares? Go ahead.

No! Let's acknowledge it! It was a fabulous time.

Lawyer, I feel sorry for Soldatino!

Forget Soldatino! I have nothing to do with Soldatino!

Enough! Silence!

Judge ... Let me go, there is the fence.

I have nothing to do with Soldatino! What I've got on the pa ...

Shut up!

Call the defendant to order!

Now it's up to you to judge our absolute innocence.

Bruno Fioretti, do you deny that you led Bernadette that night ...

.. Instead of Rossini?

Do you deny that the scam ...

.. Ended with the victory of Bernadette?

I mean, wanting Bernadette to lose ...

.. Then won ... How do you explain this?

We cannot explain it!

In horse racing, there's some things you can't explain?

- What do you explain? - You think you can explain it, but you can't.

- Enough! This is no longer a process! - It is a mess!

Silence! What did he say?

- Ours is a small chance. - Shut up!

- You always have to talk! - What about the lawyer? - Yes, I speak!

Talk.

- Why do I talk? - Exactly, say nothing!

- Bite your tongue. - Talk ...

To confirm our innocence.

Maybe we can deny playing the races?

- I deny it? - Should we deny?

- I've been saying different for three hours! - Do not deny it!

Do not deny it! But then, Judge ...

.. Who in here plays horse racing? - Me!

- What? - We do! It's them! - We all do, Pomata!

- Silence! This is not relevant. - But yes!

- We wanted a player at large. - In a broad sense.

Yeah, right!

What does this mean?

Considering only those who really play horses ...

.. he will be convinced of our innocence.

Who plays the horses and a mixture of things.

It is a disabled person, an unconscious person, a cunning and naive ...

.. Also a millionaire, if you do not have a penny, a fanatic ...

.. A passing over and under all ...

.. A trafficking, cheating, bold, and ...

.. all to say: "I won! Take that, loser!"

That's who is the player of horse racing.

For this, I ask for clemency of the Court, in our name ...

.. And the players around the world, for total insanity.

Silence!

It was my fault, Judge!

Wait a minute. Who's this?

- She's mine! - His wife? - He never wanted to marry!

- It's not relevant. - Go ahead.

Because I know him and do not trust him, I played the trifecta on my own ...

.. And I won!

You played, you won, and you didn't tell me?

- Silence! Respect for the Court! - I told him not to punish you.

Liar, moron, imbecile, traitor, scoundrel!

You are ruthless, heartless ...

- She loves me. - Wanna bet 100,000 lire you marry her?

100,000 lire? Of course, I do not care if you ...

- Go on. - Simply, bring it on!

- Son of a bitch! - Never mind my poor mother.

Enough! Here we have passed the limits!

You are such outrageous people whose absurdity is well established...

.. Like the time of 1 minute 15 seconds and the record of Thrush in the 2,000 meters at Valley.

For goodness sakes! It's a fake and a big joke.

Then he ...

- Yes, I've gone to the races for thirty years. - We are saved!

Bravo, Judge!

The best time in the 2,000 meters was Marco Polo ...

.. Campidoglio Prize in 1968. Time: 1 minute 14 seconds.

1 minute 14 seconds! Incredible! Chancellor, put that in the minutes.

Marco Polo, the son of Marie-Antoinette and Piripicchio?

Son of Butterfly and Piripicchio.

- No, Cerasella and Golden Tiger. - Piripicchio and son of Cleopatra!

I remember him well!

Silence! Piripicchio and son of Hurricane and Revelation.

Or do I just clear the courtroom.

Hurricane and Revelation.

Tomorrow Jolly runs in the fifth and wins.

Wins! Do not exaggerate.

Tomorrow, the fifth race ...

He has the newspaper.

Tomorrow there is Mohammed in the fifth, and he is stronger than Jolly.

- What does it say? - The guide is Capocci! - So Jolly does not win.

- Capocci is a bomb! - Mohammed, Clover ...

- I'm going to the bathroom, Judge. - Go!

I insist on Jolly. After a debut on the sly ...

Simply, love. You kill me!

Things are better since you don't play anymore.

- They will go even better. Sandwiches, mineral water, cigarettes.

- Cigarettes! Sorry, love. - Where are you going?

- Hurry! - Yes, I'm sorry!

- Super Multifilter. - What? - Extra super Multifilter.

The train is leaving! - Do not make me wait!

Be calm, there's time.

I am deaf to train whistles.

- The train is leaving! - There is time. - Look at the time!

It is a wedding gift, for you to play!

I have only the gold chain of my grandmother.

Do you have the cigarettes?

The train is leaving!

Are you crazy?

Bruno!

Where are the others?

This way! There!

Bruno!

- See you tonight in Venice! - Leaving me alone?

- I love you! - You too!

I understand everything! At least try to win!

- Give me your pants, or I won't go. - Did you study?

Of course, it's all in my head. Robin Hood, an arrow!

He likes the heavy soil, and today it's sunny.

- Caligula has two balls like that. - It is a mare, Judge!

Caligula ends with "a".

- It is a name for men, as Agrippina. - And Zizi? He won in Montecatini.

- Ignorant!

We need to focus on Farfalloni.