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1
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:33,720
O great American multitude,
and sports fans everywhere.
2
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:38,930
Today we inaugurate the 20th annual
Transcontinental Road Race.
3
00:01:39,010 --> 00:01:43,450
Today the five bravest
young men and women
4
00:01:43,510 --> 00:01:46,410
in this bravest of nations
5
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:48,140
will risk their lives
6
00:01:48,220 --> 00:01:52,180
in the greatest sporting event
since the days of Spartacus.
7
00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:57,480
Three days hence, a new American
champion will be crowned,
8
00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:01,560
for all the world to behold in awe,
9
00:02:01,630 --> 00:02:03,300
in respect,
10
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,020
in fear.
11
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:10,510
All right, all right. This is Junior Bruce,
your buddy-buddy and mine.
12
00:02:10,570 --> 00:02:13,870
And I'll be giving you
the blow-by-blow play-by-play
13
00:02:13,940 --> 00:02:18,430
when the kings and queens
of the open road roar onto the track.
14
00:02:18,510 --> 00:02:21,030
Do I hear the sound of engines?
15
00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,950
It's "Calamity" Jane Kelly,
queen of the road,
16
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:28,480
at the wheel of that
mean old ornery stud Bull.
17
00:02:32,430 --> 00:02:35,800
Zany Janie, winner of this year's trials
at Watkins Glen,
18
00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:37,850
placed second in 1998
19
00:02:37,930 --> 00:02:42,330
and led at last year's second lap
until she went out with gear trouble.
20
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:47,030
Her fans and lovers everywhere
wish Janie better luck this year.
21
00:02:47,110 --> 00:02:49,340
My fans can wish me
all the luck they want.
22
00:02:49,410 --> 00:02:52,930
If my luck with my lovers gets any better,
I'll miss the race completely.
23
00:02:53,010 --> 00:02:55,770
Isn't that right, Pete?
24
00:02:55,850 --> 00:02:58,970
With the start of the race
only a heartthrob away,
25
00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:02,510
this is Grace Pander on the spot -
as usual -
26
00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:05,650
to welcome
the greatest racer of all time,
27
00:03:05,730 --> 00:03:08,890
and a very dear friend of mine.
28
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:14,160
Yes, in just a moment
he will be coming through the doors!
29
00:03:20,510 --> 00:03:22,500
There is no cause for alarm.
30
00:03:22,580 --> 00:03:26,580
The patient has been flown in from abroad
in a state of suspended animation
31
00:03:26,650 --> 00:03:30,950
in order to facilitate the healing
of his recent limb transplants.
32
00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:34,390
He should be coming around
any moment now.
33
00:03:37,190 --> 00:03:40,180
Oh, my...
I don't believe it!
34
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:50,310
Frankenstein, can you give me
an exclusive? How are things abroad?
35
00:03:50,370 --> 00:03:53,820
How is Mr. President?
Is he still in Moscow?
36
00:03:53,910 --> 00:03:59,910
Mr. President
is in his summer palace in Peking.
37
00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:01,810
He loves everybody.
38
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,480
And everybody loves him.
39
00:04:04,550 --> 00:04:06,450
- Sieg!
- Heil!
40
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:10,950
Here she is,
that adorable swastika sweetheart,
41
00:04:11,030 --> 00:04:14,190
Matilda the Hun from Milwaukee!
42
00:04:14,260 --> 00:04:20,390
And her lovable Nazi navigator,
Herman "the German" Bock!
43
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:30,440
Matilda, Herman,
44
00:04:30,510 --> 00:04:35,570
do you think this is your turn to be
first and foremost in sunny California?
45
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,080
- Today, California.
- Tomorrow, the world.
46
00:04:38,150 --> 00:04:40,710
Hiya, Herman.
47
00:04:40,790 --> 00:04:45,820
I hope your Buzz Bomb has a little more
juice in its warhead this year.
48
00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:51,890
Whoever named your car the Bull,
49
00:04:51,970 --> 00:04:54,410
was only half right!
50
00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:58,500
Frankenstein, will Mr. President fly in
to crown the winner of the race?
51
00:04:58,570 --> 00:04:59,260
Yes.
52
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:01,670
Is it true that
with your new mechanical arm
53
00:05:01,740 --> 00:05:04,640
you can shift gears
in less than a twentieth of a second?
54
00:05:04,710 --> 00:05:07,870
- Would you care to comment on that?
- No.
55
00:05:07,950 --> 00:05:11,620
How do you feel about going into the race
with a navigator you've never met?
56
00:05:11,690 --> 00:05:14,720
You'll love Annie.
She's a red-hot sexpot.
57
00:05:14,790 --> 00:05:17,260
She better be a red-hot navigator.
58
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,520
No more questions.
59
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:27,800
It's the Lion! And at the wheel,
Ray "Nero the Hero" Lonnegan.
60
00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:30,070
Never has finished
the Transcontinental,
61
00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:34,810
but three big wins in the provinces
this season plus a brand-new beast
62
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,780
means Nero's not fiddling around.
63
00:05:37,850 --> 00:05:41,550
Sit still, Cleopatra,
and stop blocking me.
64
00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:43,990
My fans wanna see me.
65
00:05:44,050 --> 00:05:46,310
They've never seen
a has-been before?
66
00:05:53,430 --> 00:05:55,920
- Annie Smith?
- Mr. Frankenstein.
67
00:05:57,130 --> 00:05:59,920
I've checked out the car,
and everything seems perfect.
68
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:05,020
- I have the route maps right here.
- I will check them in a minute.
69
00:06:06,070 --> 00:06:07,660
We will roll...
70
00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:10,830
when everything seems perfect...
71
00:06:10,910 --> 00:06:12,000
to me.
72
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,380
I've packed some high-protein capsules
73
00:06:14,450 --> 00:06:17,350
and as many adrenaline tablets
as I could find.
74
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:22,160
And I've also assembled a medical kit,
just in case. I'm trained as a nurse.
75
00:06:22,220 --> 00:06:25,450
I don't need a nurse.
I need a navigator.
76
00:06:25,530 --> 00:06:30,130
Mr. Frankenstein,
you're very good at what you do,
77
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,800
and I'm very good at what I do.
78
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:35,030
We'll see.
79
00:06:36,170 --> 00:06:41,690
And you know there's only one person
who guns an engine like that.
80
00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:45,410
It's gotta be
the roughest tough guy of 'em all,
81
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:49,220
"Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo!
82
00:06:51,350 --> 00:06:53,780
Here he comes - Machine Gun Joe.
83
00:06:53,850 --> 00:06:57,250
Loved by thousands,
hated by millions.
84
00:06:57,330 --> 00:07:00,560
Only living previous winner
except for Frankenstein.
85
00:07:00,630 --> 00:07:03,500
Highest lifetime score
after Frankenstein.
86
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:07,500
And he's certainly getting
the welcome he deserves.
87
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:16,600
Joe doesn't look too happy, but you can't
keep those Frankenstein fans down.
88
00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:19,870
Lousy sons of bitches.
89
00:07:19,950 --> 00:07:22,150
- Frankenstein?
- Give it to them, Joe.
90
00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:24,210
You want Frankenstein?
91
00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:26,820
I'll give you Frankenstein.
92
00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:31,520
Yeah!
93
00:07:31,590 --> 00:07:33,650
Here he comes!
Here he comes!
94
00:07:33,730 --> 00:07:35,430
Frankenstein!
95
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:40,270
Frankenstein the legend!
Frankenstein the indestructible!
96
00:07:40,330 --> 00:07:43,890
Sole survivor
of the titanic pileup of '95.
97
00:07:43,970 --> 00:07:47,160
Only two-time winner of
the Transcontinental Road Race.
98
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,330
Frankenstein -
99
00:07:49,410 --> 00:07:53,600
ripped up, wiped out, battered,
shattered, creamed and reamed!
100
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,040
A dancer on the brink of death.
101
00:07:56,120 --> 00:08:01,030
Frankenstein, who lost a leg in '98,
an arm in '99.
102
00:08:01,090 --> 00:08:06,590
With half a face and half a chest
and all the guts in the world, he's back!
103
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:11,560
God only knows what he looks like
under that mask, but he is back.
104
00:08:11,630 --> 00:08:16,930
In the name of Mr. President,
America loves you, Frankenstein.
105
00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:31,010
You will regret that, Joe.
106
00:08:36,090 --> 00:08:37,450
Stay tuned, racing fans.
107
00:08:37,530 --> 00:08:43,370
T- video satellite will bring every mile of
thrills and spills into your living room.
108
00:08:43,430 --> 00:08:47,860
All five cars are in starting position
here at New York Memorial Raceway,
109
00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:49,840
ready to roll.
110
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:55,170
Now we take you to the Summer Palace.
And Mr. President.
111
00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:11,060
My children,
112
00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:14,460
whom I love so dearly,
113
00:09:14,530 --> 00:09:16,660
it has been my duty
114
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:19,720
in the long and difficult years
115
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,090
since the world crash of '79
116
00:09:23,170 --> 00:09:26,930
to serve you as best I could.
117
00:09:27,010 --> 00:09:31,680
Never before in history
have the masses forgone all comfort
118
00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:34,450
so that the spirit of genius
might thrive
119
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:39,180
and seek the golden key
to a new time of plenty
120
00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:42,620
in the fertile field
of minority privilege.
121
00:09:42,690 --> 00:09:47,550
And now. my children. The drivers
are ready. The world is waiting.
122
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:51,870
Once more,
I give you what you want.
123
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:08,410
Good morning, Americans.
Once again the race is under way,
124
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,610
with 12-hour pit stops
scheduled at St Louis
125
00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:15,850
and Albuquerque,
home of the American Indian Museum.
126
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:20,220
At this very moment the cars are howling
through the streets of Manhattan,
127
00:10:20,290 --> 00:10:23,690
but no points have been scored as yet.
128
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,160
Take it away. Junior Bruce.
129
00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:28,320
They're at the Lincoln Tunnel.
130
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:31,370
With Frankenstein and Joe
running neck and neck.
131
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:35,710
Then it's the Lion. Driven by...
Passed by Calamity Jane in the Bull.
132
00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:37,940
Moving into third place.
133
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,340
All right, and hey, hey, hey!
134
00:11:44,410 --> 00:11:49,110
The cars have split up, the drivers
taking off on their favorite routes.
135
00:11:49,180 --> 00:11:52,010
Frankenstein's still out in front.
Headed due west.
136
00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:55,930
With Nero the Hero on his tail
hoping to pick up his leftovers.
137
00:11:55,990 --> 00:11:58,150
Calamity Jane's on a northwest tack.
138
00:11:58,230 --> 00:12:01,790
Matilda's Buzz Bomb is trying
to catch up with Machine Gun Joe.
139
00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:03,830
Now streaking southwest.
140
00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:06,130
Once again - Mr. President.
141
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,600
I have made
the United Provinces of America
142
00:12:09,670 --> 00:12:12,460
the greatest power
in the known universe.
143
00:12:12,540 --> 00:12:14,940
I have also given you
144
00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:19,510
the most popular sporting event
in the history of mankind -
145
00:12:19,580 --> 00:12:21,910
the Transcontinental Road Race.
146
00:12:21,980 --> 00:12:24,310
Which upholds the American tradition
147
00:12:24,390 --> 00:12:26,950
of no holds barred!
148
00:12:27,020 --> 00:12:30,320
"No holds barred."
149
00:12:30,390 --> 00:12:32,550
That's how he got to be president.
150
00:12:32,630 --> 00:12:35,000
Hypocrite pig!
What about our ultimatum?
151
00:12:35,060 --> 00:12:37,290
He's been laughing us off for 15 years.
152
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,830
Passive resistance
means nothing to him.
153
00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:41,950
Pick up that flag, young man.
154
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:43,510
It's time for action.
155
00:12:43,570 --> 00:12:45,830
It is not a time for violence.
156
00:12:45,910 --> 00:12:48,240
Mrs. Paine, I love Annie
as much as you do.
157
00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:53,110
But she's no match for Frankenstein,
and we can't risk letting him get away.
158
00:12:53,180 --> 00:12:56,840
Frankenstein is the biggest target in
the world and a friend of Mr. President.
159
00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:02,920
That, Lieutenant Fury, is exactly why
they'll call off the race. To save his life.
160
00:13:03,090 --> 00:13:04,810
My granddaughter will succeed.
161
00:13:04,890 --> 00:13:06,980
Don't you ever take off that mask?
162
00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:10,290
No.
Don't you know about my face?
163
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,620
I've heard stories.
164
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,090
Nobody's ever seen it,
have they?
165
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:18,400
Except my other navigators.
166
00:13:18,470 --> 00:13:21,660
And they're all dead.
167
00:13:21,740 --> 00:13:24,000
So they are.
168
00:13:26,310 --> 00:13:31,140
They say you lost most of your jaw
in the crash of '92.
169
00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:34,060
And my right eye in '95,
170
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:36,910
and my nose and my left eye in '97,
171
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:39,280
and most of my cranium in '98.
172
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:43,800
I'm held together with
patches of plastic and steel plates.
173
00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:47,260
It's not a pretty sight.
174
00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:49,760
You wanna see?
175
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,070
Why not?
I've seen everything else.
176
00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:57,310
Remember, you're doing this on your own.
I take no responsibility.
177
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:13,450
What'd you expect?
Another pretty face?
178
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,870
- They really love you, Joe.
- Yeah?
179
00:14:20,930 --> 00:14:24,990
Then how come they ain't
down here on the road provin' it?
180
00:14:25,070 --> 00:14:28,900
Hey, you better make this left turn.
You'll shave off about 2 miles that way.
181
00:14:28,980 --> 00:14:30,880
Yeah, all right.
182
00:14:50,660 --> 00:14:53,960
All right, all right and yes, siree!
183
00:14:54,030 --> 00:14:59,370
A clean hit! A perfect hit!
And no pain for the target.
184
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,710
Too bad the guy was only 38.
185
00:15:01,780 --> 00:15:05,110
Just two years older, he'd have been
worth three times the points.
186
00:15:05,180 --> 00:15:07,310
But, for the second year in a row,
187
00:15:07,380 --> 00:15:11,970
Machine Gun Joe
has splattered the scoreboard first.
188
00:15:12,050 --> 00:15:16,750
How'd you like that, huh?
Get off on that one, Myra, baby?
189
00:15:18,230 --> 00:15:22,760
- What's the matter with this engine?
- I don't know. Sounds fine to me.
190
00:15:22,830 --> 00:15:25,350
Amateurs.
191
00:15:25,430 --> 00:15:30,420
Get back there and retard the spark four...
uh, three degrees.
192
00:16:12,610 --> 00:16:16,200
I'm glad to see you were able
to find your way back.
193
00:16:20,990 --> 00:16:23,990
As the cars roar into Pennsylvania.
The cradle of liberty.
194
00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:28,750
It seems apparent that our citizens
are staying off the streets.
195
00:16:28,830 --> 00:16:31,890
Which may make scoring
particularly difficult.
196
00:16:31,970 --> 00:16:34,460
Even with this year's rule changes.
197
00:16:34,530 --> 00:16:37,760
To recap those revisions -
198
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:43,510
women are still worth 10 points
more than men in all age brackets.
199
00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:47,180
But teenagers now rack up 40 points.
200
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,650
And toddlers under 12
201
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,380
now rate a big 70 points.
202
00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:58,550
The big score - anyone.
Any sex. Over 75 years old
203
00:16:58,630 --> 00:17:02,070
has been upped to 100 points.
204
00:17:02,130 --> 00:17:03,970
As always.
205
00:17:04,030 --> 00:17:09,020
How fast you move
determines how long you live.
206
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,310
Toro!
207
00:17:54,510 --> 00:17:57,880
A beautiful kill!
A neat kill!
208
00:17:57,950 --> 00:18:01,070
No calamities for Jane today.
No, sir.
209
00:18:01,150 --> 00:18:04,210
And you can bet she'll be getting
both ears for that one.
210
00:18:17,540 --> 00:18:19,130
What is that?
211
00:18:19,210 --> 00:18:22,840
Euthanasia day at the geriatrics hospital.
They do it every year.
212
00:18:22,910 --> 00:18:25,970
Here he comes!
He's coming!
213
00:18:47,870 --> 00:18:52,610
Frankenstein scores!
Frankenstein scores at last!
214
00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:54,860
But what kind of a score,
boys and girls?
215
00:18:54,940 --> 00:19:00,640
Just 110 points out of a possible big 700.
What do you think about that, Gracie?
216
00:19:00,710 --> 00:19:05,670
Well, those doctors -
dear friends of mine -
217
00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:09,150
have been pretty smug all these years,
setting up the old folks.
218
00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:12,520
Frankenstein must have decided
it was their turn.
219
00:19:12,590 --> 00:19:16,390
Which only goes to show that
even the fearsome Frankenstein
220
00:19:16,460 --> 00:19:21,790
has a 100% red-blooded American
sense of humor.
221
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:26,810
Annie saved those old people!
And she'll deliver Frankenstein.
222
00:19:26,870 --> 00:19:31,530
Meanwhile, innocent people
are being slaughtered on our highways.
223
00:19:31,610 --> 00:19:35,510
They're like Christians
being thrown to the gladiators.
224
00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:38,670
But just remember,
the Christians won.
225
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:40,150
Did they, Mrs. Paine?
226
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:44,950
I take it from your attire that your
sabotage operations are being carried out,
227
00:19:45,030 --> 00:19:48,120
despite my wishes?
228
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:53,330
Mrs. Paine, we're set to hit 'em
with everything we've got.
229
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,960
Then.
In the name of humanity.
230
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,410
Let Operation Anti-Race begin.
231
00:20:07,450 --> 00:20:10,440
How in hell are we supposed to score
in this graveyard?
232
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:13,220
You're the navigator.
That's your problem.
233
00:20:13,290 --> 00:20:16,730
And think of something soon,
or else you're gonna be out on your ass.
234
00:20:16,790 --> 00:20:19,720
It isn't my fault
everyone scored before us.
235
00:20:19,790 --> 00:20:22,420
You should have hit that
boy scout camp like I told you.
236
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:25,200
I tried the goddammed boy scout camp.
237
00:20:25,270 --> 00:20:28,260
You know how fast
those boy scouts move?
238
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,160
Now, here's something
more your speed.
239
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,970
Gotta be at least 200 points.
240
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:37,300
If they scatter,
go for the baby and the mother.
241
00:20:38,950 --> 00:20:41,940
Come on!
Quick! Quick!
242
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,680
Go for the baby!
The baby!
243
00:20:45,750 --> 00:20:48,940
That's it.
Come get baby.
244
00:20:49,020 --> 00:20:52,890
Bye-bye, baby.
Hello, 70 points.
245
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,360
Hey! I'm off the air!
246
00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:02,450
Would you please take your places?
247
00:21:02,540 --> 00:21:04,980
Put Grace on with an interview,
right now.
248
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:09,610
Hello, ladies. Isn't this just
the most exciting race in years?
249
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,980
I certainly think so.
250
00:21:12,050 --> 00:21:14,680
And guess what -
I have a surprise for you.
251
00:21:14,750 --> 00:21:21,090
Mrs. Rhonda Bainbridge,
in person, on my show.
252
00:21:21,150 --> 00:21:25,780
The widow of Edward Bainbridge,
whom, as we all know,
253
00:21:25,860 --> 00:21:30,700
was "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo's
first score.
254
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:35,590
Welcome to my home.
And may I call you Rhonda?
255
00:21:35,670 --> 00:21:37,440
Please do, Mrs. Pander.
256
00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:41,090
- Are we about ready here?
- Yeah, just about.
257
00:21:41,170 --> 00:21:44,000
Listen, we have to go right away.
258
00:21:45,950 --> 00:21:49,510
As the widow of the race's first score.
259
00:21:49,580 --> 00:21:55,380
You have won a high-style two-room
apartment in Acapulco!
260
00:21:55,460 --> 00:21:57,860
Start the jam!
261
00:22:10,970 --> 00:22:14,130
And next year
you will be watching the race
262
00:22:14,210 --> 00:22:19,740
on a 50-inch three-dimensional
octaphonic T-video set...
263
00:22:19,810 --> 00:22:22,610
Fellow oppressed Americans.
264
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:26,610
The execution of the barbarian killer
Nero the Hero
265
00:22:26,690 --> 00:22:29,160
is the people's first stroke
266
00:22:29,220 --> 00:22:35,250
against the evil and corrupt regime
of Mr. President.
267
00:22:35,330 --> 00:22:37,490
I am Thomasina Paine,
268
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:41,290
founder and commander
of the army of the resistance.
269
00:22:41,370 --> 00:22:47,640
For 20 years. Americans have been
told when to eat and when to sleep.
270
00:22:47,710 --> 00:22:50,880
When to love and when to hate.
271
00:22:51,340 --> 00:22:55,940
The age of obedience is over.
272
00:22:56,020 --> 00:23:01,860
In the names of George Washington,
Abraham Lincoln, and Harry Truman,
273
00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:06,690
I call upon you to stand up
for your inalienable rights.
274
00:23:07,330 --> 00:23:12,330
We declare war upon
the Bipartisan Party, on Mr. President,
275
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:18,070
and on that most inhuman
desecration of life and liberty,
276
00:23:18,140 --> 00:23:21,740
the Transcontinental Road Rape.
277
00:23:21,810 --> 00:23:22,800
I thank you.
278
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:28,540
- What the hell was that?
- I have no information.
279
00:23:28,620 --> 00:23:31,850
- Is this race still on?
- I have no information.
280
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,790
- What do you think?
- About what?
281
00:23:33,850 --> 00:23:36,110
About that speech.
282
00:23:36,190 --> 00:23:37,890
Adds spice to the race.
283
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,800
"Spice"? They've killed Nero.
284
00:23:40,860 --> 00:23:42,650
That would have got
more points for me.
285
00:23:42,730 --> 00:23:44,630
Don't you understand?
286
00:23:44,700 --> 00:23:48,300
They've declared war on the race
and on you. Aren't you worried?
287
00:23:48,370 --> 00:23:51,740
The only thing that worries me
is "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo.
288
00:23:51,810 --> 00:23:54,180
Is winning all you care about?
289
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,600
Yes. It's the only
standard of excellence left.
290
00:24:01,780 --> 00:24:04,900
- Come on. Here they come.
- It's not finished.
291
00:24:04,980 --> 00:24:06,970
Come on!
292
00:24:10,060 --> 00:24:12,590
Look at that stupid hole
right in the middle.
293
00:24:12,660 --> 00:24:15,190
They won't get through there.
294
00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:20,600
Blitzkrieg!
295
00:24:20,670 --> 00:24:24,730
As the drivers converge from their routes
and head for the first pit stop in St. Louis.
296
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,770
Machine Gun Joe
is still leading the field.
297
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,960
With Frankenstein second.
Calamity Jane third.
298
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,230
Leaving Matilda the Hun
in fourth position
299
00:24:33,310 --> 00:24:36,570
and Calamity Jane
facing another calamity!
300
00:24:36,650 --> 00:24:40,820
Right now. Frankenstein's score points
put him just ahead of Joe...
301
00:24:40,890 --> 00:24:45,920
Hey! Get off the rope.
Jesus Chrysler, get off the rope!
302
00:24:48,030 --> 00:24:51,230
Hey, dummy, come on over
and hold the ladder.
303
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,370
This aggravates me.
304
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,060
Where's the one that says
"Welcome Joe Viterbo"?
305
00:25:04,140 --> 00:25:08,770
Score the son of a bitch, Joe.
You need every point you can get.
306
00:25:12,150 --> 00:25:14,410
I only mashed him slightly.
307
00:25:14,490 --> 00:25:17,290
- Put him out of his misery, Joe.
- Is that fair?
308
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:19,800
- Yeah!
- Hey. Should I let him go?
309
00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:23,850
Fair's always right.
310
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:13,880
One thing before we begin.
311
00:26:13,950 --> 00:26:18,150
The government would like it if nobody
said anything about Nero. Understand?
312
00:26:18,220 --> 00:26:21,280
He hit a tree, and that's it.
Got it?
313
00:26:21,350 --> 00:26:23,910
- We don't wanna depress anybody by...
- Hey, hey.
314
00:26:23,990 --> 00:26:27,480
Everybody knows he was blown up
by the resistance, you schmuck.
315
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,050
It was on television.
316
00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:33,970
If you wanna drive again next year, Mr.
Viterbo, keep those opinions to yourself.
317
00:26:34,030 --> 00:26:35,190
OK. Go ahead.
318
00:26:35,270 --> 00:26:37,640
This is Grace Pander from St Louis,
319
00:26:37,700 --> 00:26:41,230
where Matilda -
a dear friend of mine -
320
00:26:41,310 --> 00:26:44,410
is receiving a well-deserved rub down.
321
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:46,180
Tell me, Tilly, darling,
322
00:26:46,250 --> 00:26:49,550
what can we expect from you
when the cars go back on the road?
323
00:26:49,620 --> 00:26:51,850
You can expect a victory...
324
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:54,120
by a member of the master race.
325
00:26:54,190 --> 00:26:55,680
A woman.
326
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,820
Tilly, darling, that certainly is
showing a lot of confidence
327
00:26:58,890 --> 00:27:01,620
for someone who's lying
fourth out of four.
328
00:27:01,690 --> 00:27:04,090
She doesn't mind,
as long as she's lying somewhere.
329
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:07,030
When I'm through with you,
you're gonna be lying in state.
330
00:27:07,100 --> 00:27:09,930
If anybody is going to boot hill,
it's you and your Bizz Bang.
331
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,360
- Buzz Bomb.
- Shut up.
332
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,140
You just leave my navigator alone.
333
00:27:14,210 --> 00:27:17,910
Girls, girls, girls.
Remember you're on TV-land.
334
00:27:17,980 --> 00:27:20,450
Pete, how do you like
being a navigator?
335
00:27:20,510 --> 00:27:26,450
Well, Junior, I'd like it more
if I was in the driver's seat.
336
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,580
You'll get what's coming to you
on the road.
337
00:27:28,660 --> 00:27:29,750
Oh, yeah?
338
00:27:29,820 --> 00:27:33,950
What's coming to me is the final
solution to the cowgirl problem.
339
00:27:34,030 --> 00:27:36,800
Frankenstein, when are you
gonna make your move?
340
00:27:36,860 --> 00:27:39,380
Are you gonna take
off-road chances for scores,
341
00:27:39,470 --> 00:27:43,600
or are you driving all-out
to be first into New L. A?
342
00:27:43,670 --> 00:27:46,070
It's not about winning,
it's how you play the game.
343
00:27:46,140 --> 00:27:48,810
Frankenstein - a dear friend of mine.
344
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:53,870
Frankenstein, tell me how it feels when,
at that electric instant, at 200 mph,
345
00:27:53,950 --> 00:27:57,680
life and death coexist
at the moment of scoring.
346
00:27:57,750 --> 00:28:01,550
If you stand in the middle of Route 66
tomorrow morning at eight o'clock,
347
00:28:01,620 --> 00:28:04,140
you can answer that question
for yourself.
348
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,800
What are you doing?
Get away from me. Joe will go nuts!
349
00:28:20,870 --> 00:28:25,860
Just tell him I was whispering
sweet nothings in your ear.
350
00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:34,680
Well, Myra, what did Frankenstein
have to say to you?
351
00:28:34,750 --> 00:28:36,940
H- h-h-he didn't say anything. He...
352
00:28:37,020 --> 00:28:38,350
- What'd he say?
- Nothing...
353
00:28:38,420 --> 00:28:40,250
- What'd he say?!
- Nothing!
354
00:28:40,330 --> 00:28:43,130
I'm not playing games, Myra.
I wanna know what he said.
355
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:47,830
He said there was
nothing sweet in my ear.
356
00:28:47,900 --> 00:28:49,490
"In my ear."
357
00:29:01,180 --> 00:29:04,140
What do you want?
358
00:29:04,220 --> 00:29:06,820
My name is Laurie,
Mr. Frankenstein.
359
00:29:06,890 --> 00:29:10,350
I'm head of Chapter Seven,
St Louis Lovers of Frankenstein.
360
00:29:10,420 --> 00:29:15,290
- I was chosen from over 100 girls...
- To offer me your body? Is that it?
361
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:18,620
You want me because I drive
the Monster and wear this costume.
362
00:29:18,700 --> 00:29:22,870
No, Mr. Frankenstein.
That wouldn't be fair to your navigator.
363
00:29:22,940 --> 00:29:25,880
It's taken her years of hard work
to earn that privilege.
364
00:29:25,940 --> 00:29:29,210
Besides,
we understand your feelings.
365
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:33,740
What do you know of my feelings?
366
00:29:33,810 --> 00:29:36,300
Everything. Like...
367
00:29:36,380 --> 00:29:39,540
Like why you're afraid
of falling in love.
368
00:29:39,620 --> 00:29:42,820
And why winning the race
means everything to you.
369
00:29:42,890 --> 00:29:45,090
How do you know these things?
370
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,830
From my dreams, partly.
371
00:29:47,890 --> 00:29:50,620
And from letters I get
from other fans.
372
00:29:50,700 --> 00:29:53,800
Plus the club subscribes
to an astrology service.
373
00:29:53,870 --> 00:29:57,400
Well, if you're not here to offer me
your body, what do you want?
374
00:29:57,470 --> 00:30:02,370
I wanted to meet you, Mr. Frankenstein.
I wanted you to know who I am.
375
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,340
So it would have meaning.
376
00:30:05,410 --> 00:30:07,430
I don't understand.
377
00:30:07,510 --> 00:30:08,870
So what would have meaning?
378
00:30:08,950 --> 00:30:13,450
We love you, Mr. Frankenstein. I know
just saying it doesn't mean much.
379
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,550
Why do you love me?
Because I kill people?
380
00:30:16,620 --> 00:30:21,150
Scoring isn't killing, Mr. Frankenstein.
It's part of the race.
381
00:30:21,230 --> 00:30:26,640
You're a national hero, and we want you
to know we're with you 100%.
382
00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:29,900
Good night, Mr. Frankenstein.
383
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,470
I didn't hear you come in.
384
00:30:44,550 --> 00:30:48,350
Who were you expecting?
Machine Gun Joe?
385
00:30:48,420 --> 00:30:51,940
I thought I could trust you.
386
00:30:52,020 --> 00:30:56,820
You really just don't wanna
give me a chance, do you?
387
00:30:56,900 --> 00:30:59,840
I was trying to help you.
388
00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:03,270
I'm... sorry.
389
00:31:03,340 --> 00:31:05,330
You're what?
390
00:31:07,470 --> 00:31:09,460
Sorry.
391
00:31:10,910 --> 00:31:14,270
He wanted to know our route,
so I told him to go down 54
392
00:31:14,350 --> 00:31:17,190
through the Cimarron Valley.
393
00:31:18,250 --> 00:31:23,120
54 is a dead end.
Leads nowhere.
394
00:31:23,190 --> 00:31:28,530
That's right.
And if Joe takes it, he's sunk.
395
00:31:28,590 --> 00:31:32,550
The only way Joe will take that road
is if he sees us do it first.
396
00:31:32,630 --> 00:31:34,650
Or if he's ahead of us.
397
00:31:36,470 --> 00:31:40,600
- Is that the arm that came off in '98?
- Mm-hm.
398
00:31:40,670 --> 00:31:42,800
And...
399
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:47,840
which one of those obviously perfect legs
was it that came off in '99?
400
00:31:48,410 --> 00:31:49,470
The right.
401
00:31:49,550 --> 00:31:54,080
And the left one was just broken in
six places and burned down to the bone.
402
00:31:54,150 --> 00:31:56,550
- Is that right?
- Mm-hm.
403
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,430
It's a miracle you can still walk.
404
00:32:02,730 --> 00:32:06,100
Do you like to dance?
405
00:33:00,050 --> 00:33:04,350
Those Swiss mechanics
sure did a good job on you.
406
00:33:04,420 --> 00:33:09,360
What else did they replace?
407
00:33:09,430 --> 00:33:11,460
Wait a minute...
408
00:33:11,530 --> 00:33:13,860
and I'll show you.
409
00:33:21,810 --> 00:33:26,750
O Mr. President, bless thy children
and make them strong.
410
00:33:26,810 --> 00:33:31,640
Bless thy daughters Matilda and Jane,
and thy son Joe.
411
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:36,460
And bless thy beloved son,
the immortal Frankenstein,
412
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,980
who has given so much pleasure
to so many.
413
00:33:40,060 --> 00:33:44,060
The hell with Frankenstein.
What about Joe Viterbo?
414
00:33:52,970 --> 00:33:55,160
The flag is down
and they're away,
415
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,930
with Machine Gun Joe
blasting into the lead
416
00:33:58,010 --> 00:34:02,500
on this second lap of the great
Transcontinental Road Race.
417
00:34:02,580 --> 00:34:05,940
Frankenstein is making a left turn,
splitting early from the pack.
418
00:34:06,020 --> 00:34:08,290
Look out, all you folks
just south of here.
419
00:34:08,350 --> 00:34:11,250
Gee, Joe, there's nobody
even close behind us.
420
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:12,150
Shh.
421
00:34:12,220 --> 00:34:14,240
Where's he going?
What's he doing?
422
00:34:14,330 --> 00:34:17,820
- Hey, where are we going?
- I dropped my glove.
423
00:34:19,230 --> 00:34:22,660
Let not the ruin of thy robes
destruct the tires...
424
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,630
Jesus Chrysler!
425
00:34:26,610 --> 00:34:29,310
Ladies and gentlemen,
by a bizarre accident
426
00:34:29,380 --> 00:34:32,370
Frankenstein has killed
our cherished colleague
427
00:34:32,450 --> 00:34:34,210
the deacon of the Bipartisan Party.
428
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,970
I think you did that on purpose.
429
00:34:37,050 --> 00:34:40,250
Have to give the fans
something to talk about.
430
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:42,820
It's my obligation as a national hero.
431
00:34:42,890 --> 00:34:46,890
Frankenstein's score is now...
Does that score count, Harold?
432
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:52,370
An interesting point, Junior, and one
that may set a significant precedent.
433
00:34:52,430 --> 00:34:55,160
Can a racer score a race official?
434
00:34:55,230 --> 00:34:58,260
Ooh, and after all those nice things
he said about him.
435
00:34:58,340 --> 00:35:03,410
It don't matter. It don't count.
You can't score religious personalities.
436
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:09,580
The word "deacon" has been handed
down to us from the ancient... the, uh...
437
00:35:09,650 --> 00:35:13,320
Frankenstein's score
has been approved for 50 points.
438
00:35:13,390 --> 00:35:18,230
The confirmation has just been handed
to me. You know what that means, Junior?
439
00:35:18,290 --> 00:35:22,880
That means that the race officials from
coast to coast will be falling like flies.
440
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:26,950
- Frankenstein! Agh! I hate him. I hate him.
- Oh, sh...
441
00:35:28,070 --> 00:35:29,900
You're salivating.
442
00:36:13,510 --> 00:36:16,440
Oh, my...
Why did she do that?
443
00:36:17,620 --> 00:36:19,610
To show me she loves me.
444
00:36:25,260 --> 00:36:27,920
Here they come.
Let's get set.
445
00:36:40,110 --> 00:36:42,640
Chicken game.
446
00:36:42,710 --> 00:36:46,210
- Chicken in a basket.
- Chicken in a casket.
447
00:36:54,850 --> 00:36:56,680
Oh, shit!
448
00:37:08,030 --> 00:37:10,390
Yeah, hey.
Who got the last laugh now, huh?
449
00:37:18,010 --> 00:37:20,910
- The turnoff, it's coming up.
- Should I take it?
450
00:37:20,980 --> 00:37:23,570
- Who gives a goddamn shit?
- Should I?
451
00:37:23,650 --> 00:37:26,820
She says I should, so I should, right?
Or should I? I don't know.
452
00:37:26,890 --> 00:37:30,120
I don't think you should.
I think it's definitely a trick.
453
00:37:30,190 --> 00:37:33,650
I'll do it.
I won't do it. I'd be a schmuck to do it.
454
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:38,580
I did it and I'm no schmuck!
455
00:37:38,660 --> 00:37:42,030
- That's your story.
- That's right. That's right.
456
00:37:42,100 --> 00:37:46,030
And I see you mess with Frankenstein
again, I'm really gonna bust your eye.
457
00:37:46,110 --> 00:37:48,040
What do you mean, "really"?
458
00:37:56,780 --> 00:38:01,680
I have an almost unlimited score possibility,
but it's pretty far down the road.
459
00:38:02,390 --> 00:38:04,790
District penitents' compound.
460
00:38:04,860 --> 00:38:08,920
All those old congressmen chained up.
They'd be like sitting ducks.
461
00:38:08,990 --> 00:38:12,930
Yeah, and all I gotta do is drive through
a cyclone fence. Uh-uh.
462
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,940
Look, the farther west we go,
the fewer targets there'll be.
463
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,400
Hey, come on.
464
00:38:18,470 --> 00:38:21,900
Joe's already on his way to a dead end,
and the other two...
465
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,030
OK.
466
00:38:29,050 --> 00:38:31,750
Take the next right.
467
00:38:32,220 --> 00:38:36,320
Now, as soon as the car gets within range,
I shall give the signal.
468
00:38:36,390 --> 00:38:40,760
We'll have just under a minute after
they reach the turnoff. Lieutenant Fury...
469
00:38:40,830 --> 00:38:44,730
Lieutenant Fury has nothing whatever
to do with this.
470
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,400
I want none of his surprises here.
471
00:38:47,470 --> 00:38:50,770
I could stand for a surprise.
Like if your Frankenstein didn't show up.
472
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:53,310
Don't worry.
He'll show.
473
00:38:56,510 --> 00:38:59,310
What's our estimated time of arrival
in Albuquerque?
474
00:38:59,380 --> 00:39:03,290
Well, I'm not sure. I mean,
this detour is gonna make a difference.
475
00:39:03,350 --> 00:39:05,380
Haven't you calculated
our time of arrival?
476
00:39:05,450 --> 00:39:08,070
I did,
but I couldn't take into consideration...
477
00:39:08,150 --> 00:39:11,980
- Take what into consideration?
- Frankenstein! Stop the car!
478
00:39:12,060 --> 00:39:14,190
Hold on.
479
00:39:16,660 --> 00:39:20,290
- What the hell?
- Don't stop now. What are you doing?
480
00:39:20,370 --> 00:39:22,500
What are they doing?
481
00:39:26,210 --> 00:39:28,510
Sorry, brother.
482
00:39:39,050 --> 00:39:42,910
If that's the best the resistance can do,
we got nothing to worry about.
483
00:39:42,990 --> 00:39:44,290
I guess not.
484
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:46,120
One thing I can't figure out
485
00:39:46,190 --> 00:39:49,680
is why would they bother
to dress that guy up to look like me?
486
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,490
Maybe he was a fan.
487
00:39:55,230 --> 00:40:01,130
Who built this stinkin' road? If I ever get
my hands on him, I'll rip his heart out.
488
00:40:01,210 --> 00:40:04,480
I mean it! I'm sick of this race
and I'm sick of you!
489
00:40:09,620 --> 00:40:13,320
I guess it must have been Joe that set
us up for that ambush, don't you think?
490
00:40:13,390 --> 00:40:16,360
Got in touch with those guys
and told them where we were going?
491
00:40:16,420 --> 00:40:18,910
I guess it might have been.
492
00:40:18,990 --> 00:40:22,440
But then how the hell did Joe know
we were gonna take a detour?
493
00:40:22,530 --> 00:40:25,470
Maybe it was those guys
on the pit crew in St. Louis.
494
00:40:25,530 --> 00:40:28,760
Took your book out of the car
while you were getting massaged.
495
00:40:28,830 --> 00:40:31,460
I didn't leave my book in the car.
496
00:40:31,540 --> 00:40:33,530
- You didn't, huh?
- No.
497
00:40:34,910 --> 00:40:37,750
Well, then,
I guess it couldn't have been them.
498
00:40:37,810 --> 00:40:40,970
- Who do you think it was?
- I have no idea.
499
00:40:41,050 --> 00:40:43,020
Why do you care?
They didn't get you.
500
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:48,040
Us. They didn't get us.
We're a team, remember?
501
00:40:57,860 --> 00:41:02,190
Come on over to my side.
You're gonna drive for a while.
502
00:41:02,270 --> 00:41:04,100
Why? I'm not trained as a driver.
503
00:41:04,170 --> 00:41:07,610
Never mind why.
Just do as I tell you.
504
00:41:16,850 --> 00:41:19,620
I'm counting on you
to make a nice big score for us.
505
00:41:19,690 --> 00:41:22,560
Sure.
506
00:41:22,620 --> 00:41:24,780
Anything special in mind?
507
00:41:24,860 --> 00:41:27,190
Something'll turn up.
508
00:41:27,260 --> 00:41:28,990
I'm sure that it will.
509
00:41:44,110 --> 00:41:47,050
Jesus H Christ!
I'll kill that broad!
510
00:41:47,110 --> 00:41:50,240
- What did I do?
- Shut your face.
511
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:53,760
Cornball, what's the fastest way
through here?
512
00:41:53,820 --> 00:41:58,160
Well, um... actually, the only way
we do it is we get a bulldozer
513
00:41:58,220 --> 00:42:00,710
and we trim this edge down here
and we drive through.
514
00:42:00,790 --> 00:42:03,310
No, what's the best way
between here and Albuquerque?
515
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:06,600
- You got to go back to the main highway.
- I'll lose 45 minutes!
516
00:42:06,670 --> 00:42:10,440
I've seen you before. I'm one of
your greatest fans, you know that?
517
00:42:10,500 --> 00:42:15,090
I follow all of the races. I got
pictures of you all over the outhouse.
518
00:42:15,170 --> 00:42:18,370
I named my favorite dog after you,
Mr. Frankenstein. I did.
519
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:22,540
Lousy stinkin' dirt ball.
You got two seconds to live.
520
00:43:02,890 --> 00:43:05,950
Come on, Pete, honey.
You gonna take all day with that?
521
00:43:06,020 --> 00:43:09,550
I wanna get on the road, make a few
more scores. My blood lust is fading.
522
00:43:09,630 --> 00:43:13,690
Almost finished, Calamity, sweetheart.
We'll be back on the road in no time,
523
00:43:13,770 --> 00:43:16,070
then we'll cream that Nazi's ass for her.
524
00:43:16,130 --> 00:43:17,490
What'd you say? I...
525
00:43:17,570 --> 00:43:19,100
Blitzkrieg!
526
00:43:21,210 --> 00:43:24,200
You lousy bitch!
I'll kill you for that!
527
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:27,910
Nobody scores my navigator
and gets away with it.
528
00:43:45,030 --> 00:43:46,010
Uh-oh.
529
00:43:46,100 --> 00:43:49,000
Here she comes.
And boy, is she pissed.
530
00:43:49,070 --> 00:43:52,240
What does she expect?
You leave your navigator lying around,
531
00:43:52,300 --> 00:43:55,530
naturally somebody's
gonna run over him.
532
00:44:37,350 --> 00:44:40,320
She's gaining on us, momma,
and she's got murder on her mind.
533
00:44:40,390 --> 00:44:43,950
Schnell. Meine kleine Buzz Bomb.
534
00:45:13,090 --> 00:45:16,690
- That's good.
- All right, on three. One, two, three.
535
00:45:18,460 --> 00:45:21,020
Support it. Easy.
Steady as she goes.
536
00:45:33,740 --> 00:45:35,230
Here they come!
537
00:45:40,110 --> 00:45:43,040
A detour.
I really needed that right now.
538
00:46:12,540 --> 00:46:14,230
Holy shit.
539
00:46:14,310 --> 00:46:18,540
A special bulletin.
There's been an accident. An explosion.
540
00:46:18,620 --> 00:46:22,960
It looks like Matilda
has been blown totally...
541
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:31,870
Correction. Matilda has made
an impressive score. Stand by.
542
00:46:36,100 --> 00:46:41,090
Don't you wanna take over now? I'm afraid
I'm making us lose an awful lot of time.
543
00:46:41,170 --> 00:46:44,370
You're doing just fine.
544
00:46:53,750 --> 00:46:57,270
- Looks like an easy score.
- Yeah. Yeah, it does.
545
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,390
It's always best to start small.
546
00:47:08,670 --> 00:47:12,110
- I missed him.
- It takes some practice.
547
00:47:12,170 --> 00:47:16,530
- Before it comes easy?
- It never comes easy.
548
00:47:16,610 --> 00:47:19,240
Keep your eyes on the road.
549
00:47:20,910 --> 00:47:24,930
How far is it
to the penitents' compound?
550
00:47:25,020 --> 00:47:27,680
Oh, maybe 20 miles.
551
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,250
Stop the car.
552
00:47:40,370 --> 00:47:42,130
Get out.
553
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:44,190
Out.
554
00:47:50,510 --> 00:47:52,280
Come to the other side.
555
00:47:52,340 --> 00:47:54,500
Around the front.
556
00:48:07,190 --> 00:48:10,120
Where is the penitents' compound?
557
00:48:11,860 --> 00:48:14,120
It's in Japan.
558
00:48:17,900 --> 00:48:19,300
Get in.
559
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:33,510
I could just push you out of this car
and pick up a quick 30 points.
560
00:48:33,590 --> 00:48:36,060
Who are you?
Who are you working for?
561
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:38,910
I'm Thomasina Paine's granddaughter.
562
00:48:40,260 --> 00:48:42,600
I'm honored.
563
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:47,830
So you were gonna capture me and
replace me with that goon back there.
564
00:48:47,900 --> 00:48:50,270
What for?
565
00:48:50,340 --> 00:48:54,400
He was going to deliver
our ultimatum to Mr. President.
566
00:48:54,470 --> 00:48:58,400
Your life in exchange
for the permanent abolition of the race.
567
00:49:28,410 --> 00:49:32,610
She was a great. Dear friend of mine.
568
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:37,950
And I shall remember her forever.
Howling down that freeway in the sky.
569
00:49:38,020 --> 00:49:41,350
Knocking over the angels.
570
00:49:42,350 --> 00:49:48,380
The valiant Hun's demise was in fact
caused by enemies of the people.
571
00:49:48,460 --> 00:49:53,950
There will be a special broadcast
by Mr. President at 1900 hours.
572
00:49:54,030 --> 00:50:00,630
Stay tuned to find out how you can help
Mr. President preserve our way of life...
573
00:50:00,710 --> 00:50:03,240
Calamity, turn off the television.
574
00:50:03,310 --> 00:50:06,340
Hey, you guys wanna stop
playing that song, please?
575
00:50:06,410 --> 00:50:11,470
Look, this is a race, a sporting event, not
a daredevil stunt. I want some protection.
576
00:50:11,550 --> 00:50:14,320
You should have given us an escort
after Nero got it.
577
00:50:14,390 --> 00:50:16,830
Joe would score the escort,
wouldn't you, baby?
578
00:50:16,890 --> 00:50:21,060
You wanna zip your lip, Myra? Huh?
Now, are you going to cover me or not?
579
00:50:21,130 --> 00:50:25,300
Look, Mr. Viterbo, if you're afraid to
go on with the race, why don't you quit?
580
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:26,880
You're calling me a turkey?
581
00:50:26,970 --> 00:50:29,960
If you ask me, you're all
making excuses for poor driving.
582
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:34,370
Poor driving?! Listen, honey.
Matilda the Hun was a champion driver.
583
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:37,470
Nobody could've scored my navigator
and gotten away with it.
584
00:50:37,540 --> 00:50:39,470
And he's talking about poor driving!
585
00:50:39,540 --> 00:50:43,640
I'd like to see you do it. I've been driving
for ten years. Nobody talks to me like this.
586
00:50:43,720 --> 00:50:46,090
- This stinks.
- It's all on account of the rebels.
587
00:50:46,150 --> 00:50:50,950
Who mentioned anything about rebels?
There are no rebels. Understand?
588
00:50:51,020 --> 00:50:53,990
Then who was that old lady
on the television?
589
00:50:54,060 --> 00:50:56,190
Thomasina Paine.
She's a harmless lunatic.
590
00:50:56,260 --> 00:51:01,250
Would you please come outside, sir?
We like to ask you a few questions.
591
00:51:03,070 --> 00:51:05,910
- Come on, Annie.
- Alone, if you don't mind.
592
00:51:05,970 --> 00:51:10,630
Mr. President will explain those
accidents during his address to the nation.
593
00:51:10,710 --> 00:51:13,510
- How did she jam the networks?
- And bump off our friends?
594
00:51:13,580 --> 00:51:17,540
She didn't bump off anybody. She walked
into a television station waving a gun,
595
00:51:17,620 --> 00:51:21,680
forced them to put her on the air. We've
taken her back to the asylum. That's it.
596
00:51:21,750 --> 00:51:24,410
- I got just two words to say about that.
- Oh?
597
00:51:24,490 --> 00:51:25,960
Bull shit!
598
00:51:26,020 --> 00:51:27,780
Excuse me.
599
00:51:28,690 --> 00:51:31,420
Hey! I told you
to stop playing that song!
600
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:37,000
You forget, Joe, that I'm a representative
of Mr. President's government.
601
00:51:37,070 --> 00:51:40,040
I happen to hold
the power of life and death.
602
00:51:40,110 --> 00:51:43,270
Yeah? Well,
I happen to hold the clam sauce.
603
00:51:44,140 --> 00:51:48,670
Look out, Viterbo. You may be
the second biggest clown in this circus,
604
00:51:48,750 --> 00:51:51,520
but if I want you dead,
you're dead.
605
00:51:51,580 --> 00:51:54,270
- Second biggest?
- Sit down and eat!
606
00:51:59,690 --> 00:52:01,880
I told you to stop playing that music!
607
00:52:02,690 --> 00:52:06,350
Were they armed, or did they expect
the fire to be enough to stop you?
608
00:52:06,430 --> 00:52:11,690
I don't know what they expected. We
just ran through it all and kept going.
609
00:52:11,770 --> 00:52:13,790
One more question,
Mr. Frankenstein.
610
00:52:15,570 --> 00:52:18,370
Did you take that particular road
on your own initiative,
611
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:21,070
or on the advice of your navigator?
612
00:52:23,250 --> 00:52:24,980
On my own initiative.
613
00:52:25,050 --> 00:52:28,450
Thank you, Mr. Frankenstein.
That will be all.
614
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:34,750
There has been a lot of talk
about American rebels.
615
00:52:34,830 --> 00:52:36,820
We have positive proof
616
00:52:36,900 --> 00:52:40,170
that it was none other
than the treacherous French
617
00:52:40,230 --> 00:52:43,790
who have been
sabotaging our great race.
618
00:52:43,870 --> 00:52:48,070
Just as they
and their stinking European allies
619
00:52:48,140 --> 00:52:53,410
have undermined and destroyed
our great national economy.
620
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:55,880
It is no coincidence.
My dear children.
621
00:52:55,950 --> 00:53:00,220
That the word "sabotage"
was invented by the French.
622
00:53:00,290 --> 00:53:02,760
- Where's Annie?
- I don't know.
623
00:53:02,820 --> 00:53:04,370
Hey, did you hear the news?
624
00:53:04,460 --> 00:53:08,900
Mr. President said it was the French
who knocked off Nero and Matilda.
625
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:11,550
Watch out for the crêpe suzettes.
626
00:53:11,630 --> 00:53:15,200
..."Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo
and Frankenstein.
627
00:53:15,270 --> 00:53:20,830
As they begin the last lap
of their long and difficult journey
628
00:53:20,910 --> 00:53:23,900
toward New Los Angeles.
629
00:53:27,980 --> 00:53:30,950
Drop your keys?
630
00:53:31,020 --> 00:53:33,750
I was just looking for something I lost.
631
00:53:33,820 --> 00:53:35,120
The race?
632
00:53:35,190 --> 00:53:37,390
Look, Joe...
633
00:53:37,460 --> 00:53:40,400
I threw you off course, OK?
634
00:53:40,460 --> 00:53:42,590
All's fair in love and war.
635
00:53:42,660 --> 00:53:46,610
I'm glad to hear you say that, Annie,
because what we got goin' here
636
00:53:46,700 --> 00:53:48,760
definitely ain't love.
637
00:53:48,830 --> 00:53:51,820
Well, then,
why don't we just forget about it?
638
00:53:52,470 --> 00:53:56,270
You know, Annie, it's too bad things
ain't like they were in the old days,
639
00:53:56,340 --> 00:54:01,800
when we'd just take somebody in an alley
and blow their brains out. You know?
640
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:04,500
- Joe, please.
- Go ahead and scream, Annie.
641
00:54:04,580 --> 00:54:08,510
- You're hurting me, Joe.
- There's nobody to hear you.
642
00:54:08,590 --> 00:54:10,650
Huh?
643
00:54:13,730 --> 00:54:18,260
How does it feel to know you're gonna
spend the rest of your life in pain?
644
00:54:18,330 --> 00:54:22,530
The rest of your life
is about a minute and a half.
645
00:54:23,970 --> 00:54:29,040
Frankie. Glad you came. I caught your
navigator screwin' around with the car,
646
00:54:29,110 --> 00:54:33,110
so I thought I'd come down
and have a look at what was going on.
647
00:54:33,180 --> 00:54:34,780
Hey, come on, Frank...
648
00:55:56,460 --> 00:55:58,390
Upstairs.
649
00:55:58,460 --> 00:56:01,520
So much for a fair fight.
650
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:05,770
Next chance I get, you're dead.
651
00:56:12,410 --> 00:56:17,810
What were you doing? Getting more secret
instructions from the lunatic fringe?
652
00:56:22,290 --> 00:56:25,090
Why don't you just turn me in
and get it over with?
653
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:28,600
No need to.
654
00:56:28,660 --> 00:56:31,850
You've blown your cover.
You're no threat to me.
655
00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:35,560
Anyway, you're not someone
I would throw away.
656
00:56:35,630 --> 00:56:39,530
- I have a job to do.
- Your job is a waste of time.
657
00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:41,830
The world doesn't wanna be saved.
658
00:56:41,910 --> 00:56:45,680
I'm giving you a chance
to save one small part of it.
659
00:56:45,740 --> 00:56:47,870
Yourself.
660
00:56:47,950 --> 00:56:51,180
Who are you anyway?
661
00:56:51,250 --> 00:56:53,620
Nobody.
662
00:56:53,690 --> 00:56:56,630
I was brought up in a government
training centre to be what I am -
663
00:56:56,690 --> 00:57:01,650
Frankenstein,
the best driver on earth. This year.
664
00:57:01,730 --> 00:57:05,100
They use one up,
they bring in another.
665
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:09,650
- But I will be the last of the line.
- Oh, who's kidding who?
666
00:57:12,670 --> 00:57:14,930
I never kid.
667
00:57:39,730 --> 00:57:42,160
Why don't you ever
take off that glove?
668
00:57:42,230 --> 00:57:44,490
What's underneath it?
669
00:57:44,570 --> 00:57:47,630
It's my secret.
670
00:57:47,710 --> 00:57:50,650
You and the Swiss doctors again?
671
00:57:50,710 --> 00:57:53,740
There are no Swiss doctors.
672
00:57:53,810 --> 00:57:59,210
Just native... American... know-how.
673
00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:21,770
- Have you checked the oil?
- Yes.
674
00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:24,510
- Have you checked the hydraulics?
- An hour ago.
675
00:58:24,580 --> 00:58:28,070
- Brakes? Tires? Water?
- Yeah, they're OK. Everything's OK.
676
00:58:28,150 --> 00:58:32,990
Don't worry. I'm not going to
do anything to sabotage the car.
677
00:58:35,150 --> 00:58:36,550
You get a load of that face?
678
00:58:36,620 --> 00:58:39,480
I wonder if somebody
got points for that eye.
679
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:45,630
Listen, Frankenstein, there's just you,
me and Joe left in the race, and...
680
00:58:45,700 --> 00:58:49,600
Well, I just want you to know that
whoever wins and whatever happens,
681
00:58:49,670 --> 00:58:53,270
it's been really grand
racin' with you folks.
682
00:58:53,340 --> 00:58:56,180
I also wanna say
that I think you make a real nice couple.
683
00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:59,230
- Thank you, Jane.
- Good luck.
684
00:59:06,550 --> 00:59:08,950
Joe, Myra,
685
00:59:09,020 --> 00:59:11,680
I just wanna say,
whatever happens, whoever wins...
686
00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:14,230
Hey, save it for the French.
687
00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:21,120
The cars have started, lined up,
and are ready to roll on the last lap.
688
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:23,970
They're off! Frankenstein...
Holy Chrysler!
689
00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:26,700
Joe has just scored his own pit crew!
690
00:59:26,770 --> 00:59:31,330
You lousy sons of bitches!
That'll teach you!
691
00:59:31,810 --> 00:59:35,750
"Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo,
that funny man from Chicago,
692
00:59:35,810 --> 00:59:39,370
has scored his own mechanics
for 40 points,
693
00:59:39,450 --> 00:59:43,540
and is off to catch Calamity Jane
and Frankenstein.
694
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:55,120
Screw you, Joe Viterbo,
and your mother!
695
00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:59,140
We'll see who gets to New L.A. First,
with the highest score too.
696
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:01,560
It's coming up on the left.
697
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,880
Forget it.
I'm keeping Frankie in my sights.
698
01:00:04,940 --> 01:00:08,100
He's got five minutes on us,
and he's stretching it.
699
01:00:08,180 --> 01:00:11,520
So what? If there's trouble up ahead,
he'll find it first.
700
01:00:11,580 --> 01:00:16,880
Oh, yeah. Take a look at your face.
You'll find it first.
701
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:20,900
You know, Myra, some people
might think you're cute.
702
01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:24,830
But me, I think you're
one very large baked potato.
703
01:00:24,900 --> 01:00:28,340
Roaring down Motorway 66
towards California,
704
01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:31,370
Frankenstein looks certain
to be first across the line.
705
01:00:31,440 --> 01:00:35,770
But Machine Gun Joe
is still way ahead on points,
706
01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:40,100
and he could win the race even by
arriving second in New Los Angeles.
707
01:00:40,180 --> 01:00:43,310
What's your prediction, Grace?
708
01:00:43,380 --> 01:00:48,970
You know, Junior, when Machine Gun Joe
was just a little boy in Chicago,
709
01:00:49,050 --> 01:00:53,780
he had a pet snake that he used to love
to ride over with his tricycle.
710
01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:50,740
- Break out the thermos of hi-pro drink.
- Coming right up.
711
01:03:14,570 --> 01:03:18,840
- Here. I didn't mean to hog it all.
- Thanks. What flavor is it?
712
01:03:18,900 --> 01:03:22,200
- Vanilla.
- Hm. Not my favorite.
713
01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:29,670
This isn't vanilla.
It's peach or something.
714
01:03:29,750 --> 01:03:33,920
Yeah, well, my taste buds
got wiped out in the crash of '97.
715
01:03:33,980 --> 01:03:38,780
It's a good thing mine that are still intact.
At least the French can't poison us.
716
01:03:42,760 --> 01:03:45,120
What's Frankenstein's location now?
717
01:03:45,200 --> 01:03:50,000
He's about 50 miles out, Lieutenant,
and coming fast.
718
01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:57,260
Goodbye, Mrs. Paine. When you see me
again, Frankenstein will be my prisoner
719
01:03:57,340 --> 01:04:00,000
and the country will know
we must be taken seriously.
720
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:04,080
- Fury, wait. I'm coming with you.
- No, Mrs. Paine, it's too dangerous.
721
01:04:04,150 --> 01:04:06,880
Nonsense.
I've waited 20 years for this moment.
722
01:04:06,950 --> 01:04:08,940
I know I can't join you
on the mission,
723
01:04:09,020 --> 01:04:12,590
but I want to see you pull it off
with my own eyes.
724
01:04:14,190 --> 01:04:18,590
Couple of turnoffs coming up.
What's the quickest way to New L. A?
725
01:04:18,660 --> 01:04:23,030
- That's funny.
- What?
726
01:04:23,100 --> 01:04:26,460
I can't... I can't seem
to focus my eyes on the map.
727
01:04:26,540 --> 01:04:30,980
I think we stay on 7...
I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
728
01:04:32,010 --> 01:04:34,180
Look at that.
729
01:04:36,880 --> 01:04:40,640
- It's them, isn't it?
- Please... please, stop the car.
730
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:43,560
Sorry. We're in a race.
731
01:04:52,760 --> 01:04:57,200
Frankenstein, stop right now.
We wanna talk to you.
732
01:04:58,100 --> 01:05:01,660
Stop before I force you to.
733
01:05:13,450 --> 01:05:16,410
I'll bomb you to a halt if I have to.
734
01:05:28,700 --> 01:05:32,330
Annie, help me.
Turn off the engine.
735
01:05:33,740 --> 01:05:37,940
Annie's dead, Mrs. Paine.
He must have killed her.
736
01:05:39,110 --> 01:05:41,640
Now I'm really going to let him have it.
737
01:05:51,020 --> 01:05:54,510
Look at that. The rebels
are sure giving it to Frankenstein.
738
01:05:54,590 --> 01:05:59,080
Thank you, rebels.
Mary, I think we got this race won.
739
01:05:59,160 --> 01:06:01,890
- Aren't we gonna help him?
- Are you nuts or something?
740
01:06:01,970 --> 01:06:07,740
I'm getting my ass out of here before they
make an emergency landing. Sit down.
741
01:06:07,810 --> 01:06:09,800
Attagirl.
742
01:08:01,920 --> 01:08:04,020
Well, America, there you have it.
743
01:08:04,090 --> 01:08:07,930
Frankenstein has just been attacked
by the French air force,
744
01:08:07,990 --> 01:08:10,420
and he's whipped their derrières.
745
01:08:10,490 --> 01:08:14,050
His point total for this one'll be
something astronomical.
746
01:08:14,130 --> 01:08:16,560
Machine Gun Joe better watch out.
747
01:08:22,970 --> 01:08:25,990
- Right on schedule.
- Hey, what happened?
748
01:08:26,080 --> 01:08:28,310
I slipped you a 30-minute sleepex.
749
01:08:28,380 --> 01:08:31,320
Didn't want you doing something
we would both regret.
750
01:08:31,380 --> 01:08:32,570
Did they attack us?
751
01:08:32,650 --> 01:08:35,990
According to the radio, we were
attacked by the French air force.
752
01:08:36,050 --> 01:08:38,310
Was the plane shot down?
753
01:08:38,390 --> 01:08:41,590
Even those Swiss doctors
couldn't have helped them.
754
01:08:41,660 --> 01:08:46,690
I'm sorry. I know they were your people.
But I can't let anything stop me now.
755
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:49,230
They didn't expect you
to give up easily.
756
01:08:49,300 --> 01:08:52,600
They were prepared
for whatever happened.
757
01:08:52,670 --> 01:08:54,440
Oh, my God, you've been hit!
758
01:08:54,510 --> 01:08:56,880
I'll make it.
759
01:08:57,910 --> 01:09:01,610
I'm sorry things worked out this way.
760
01:09:01,680 --> 01:09:05,210
- It's not over yet.
- I'm afraid it is.
761
01:09:05,280 --> 01:09:06,110
Hey!
762
01:09:36,780 --> 01:09:38,830
What the hell
do you think you're doing?
763
01:09:38,920 --> 01:09:41,360
It doesn't make any difference
what happens to me.
764
01:09:41,420 --> 01:09:45,120
That is the dumbest, sorriest thing
I've ever heard you say.
765
01:09:45,190 --> 01:09:49,530
I don't believe you've got a drop of
Thomasina Paine's blood in your body.
766
01:09:49,590 --> 01:09:53,390
The minute things get rough, you close
your eyes and try to drive us off a cliff.
767
01:09:53,460 --> 01:09:57,730
If you'd just stop trying to kill me
for a minute, I need your help.
768
01:09:57,800 --> 01:10:00,890
How can you possibly
expect me to help you?
769
01:10:00,970 --> 01:10:02,630
You're my navigator.
770
01:10:02,710 --> 01:10:05,270
You're the only one
who knows where you're going.
771
01:10:05,340 --> 01:10:08,100
I mean,
whose side are you on anyway?
772
01:10:08,180 --> 01:10:11,410
I thought the only thing you cared about
was winning the race.
773
01:10:11,480 --> 01:10:16,640
Sure. Only the winner of the race
gets to shake hands with Mr. President.
774
01:10:17,220 --> 01:10:19,740
- Is that a grenade?
- A hand grenade.
775
01:10:19,820 --> 01:10:25,780
That handshake is all I've lived for
for as long as I can remember.
776
01:10:25,860 --> 01:10:29,520
No, wait a minute.
I don't want you to die.
777
01:10:32,970 --> 01:10:34,630
It's my life's work.
778
01:11:15,610 --> 01:11:18,200
Why do you
wanna win this race so bad?
779
01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:21,840
Why do I wanna win this race?
In the name of hate.
780
01:11:21,920 --> 01:11:23,890
One big victory for hate.
781
01:13:04,490 --> 01:13:07,460
Give me your hand.
Give me your hand!
782
01:13:23,140 --> 01:13:26,940
- Hey, stop. Will you stop the car?
- Shut up! What is that?
783
01:13:27,010 --> 01:13:32,500
It's a hand. Will you stop
the goddamn car? Stop the car!
784
01:13:43,630 --> 01:13:47,160
You're going to have to
shift the gears for me now.
785
01:13:47,230 --> 01:13:49,660
The only thing that worries me
786
01:13:49,730 --> 01:13:53,290
is how am I going to shake hands
with Mr. President?
787
01:13:53,370 --> 01:13:56,530
Mr. President's the one
who should be worried now.
788
01:14:16,330 --> 01:14:21,500
He's coming! Can you hear that engine?
Still in perfect tune.
789
01:14:21,570 --> 01:14:25,900
Here he is -
the one and only three-time winner
790
01:14:25,970 --> 01:14:30,640
and sole survivor of the 20th
annual Transcontinental Road Race,
791
01:14:30,710 --> 01:14:34,380
none other than Frankenstein himself!
792
01:14:35,380 --> 01:14:37,110
And now Mr. President.
793
01:14:37,180 --> 01:14:39,700
Our enemy, the French,
794
01:14:39,780 --> 01:14:44,510
have destroyed nearly all
our gallant racers.
795
01:14:44,590 --> 01:14:48,960
Just as they have crippled
our once-great economy,
796
01:14:49,030 --> 01:14:52,020
and wrecked our telephone system.
797
01:14:52,100 --> 01:14:55,900
But even they,
in all their evil power,
798
01:14:55,970 --> 01:14:59,430
were not able to destroy Frankenstein,
799
01:14:59,500 --> 01:15:03,430
who is the embodiment
of our national virtue
800
01:15:03,510 --> 01:15:06,950
and therefore indestructible.
801
01:15:07,010 --> 01:15:12,530
It is fitting that Frankenstein should be
the one chosen by your president
802
01:15:12,620 --> 01:15:17,120
to lead you in this war against
the French which I now decree.
803
01:15:20,220 --> 01:15:23,710
Frankenstein has been shot!
There is a French spy in our midst!
804
01:15:23,790 --> 01:15:26,660
Guards, seize that woman!
805
01:15:26,730 --> 01:15:29,750
Frankenstein, are you all right?
806
01:15:41,550 --> 01:15:42,710
Annie!
807
01:15:46,150 --> 01:15:47,950
Frankenstein...
808
01:16:13,110 --> 01:16:18,180
Frankenstein! Frankenstein!
Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein!
809
01:16:18,250 --> 01:16:21,810
Frankenstein! Frankenstein!
Frankenstein! Frankenstein!
810
01:16:30,760 --> 01:16:35,950
Mr. And Mrs. President Frankenstein -
dear friends of mine -
811
01:16:36,030 --> 01:16:38,790
can you tell us
what your first official acts will be?
812
01:16:38,870 --> 01:16:42,900
I plan to pension off the secret police,
restore free elections,
813
01:16:42,970 --> 01:16:47,230
end minority privilege, and move the seat
of government back to New Los Angeles.
814
01:16:47,310 --> 01:16:49,330
We've been governed from abroad
long enough.
815
01:16:49,410 --> 01:16:55,180
Mr. President, is it true that you are now
accepting rebels into your government?
816
01:16:55,250 --> 01:16:59,210
Well, since I have accepted one
into my house...
817
01:16:59,290 --> 01:17:03,420
President Frankenstein has appointed
my great-grandmother, Thomasina Paine,
818
01:17:03,490 --> 01:17:07,950
in view of her experience in the field,
as the minister for domestic security.
819
01:17:08,030 --> 01:17:11,990
And I plan to deal very harshly
with rebels.
820
01:17:12,070 --> 01:17:18,030
Anybody who is unhappy with happiness
can go find someplace else to live.
821
01:17:18,110 --> 01:17:20,670
- What about the race?
- The race is abolished.
822
01:17:20,740 --> 01:17:22,710
- Abolished?
- That's right.
823
01:17:22,780 --> 01:17:27,220
We feel that the country no longer needs
this gratuitous display of violence
824
01:17:27,280 --> 01:17:29,910
to show the world
that its virility is still intact.
825
01:17:29,990 --> 01:17:35,950
Mr. President, isn't it true that as a racer
your popularity depended on violence?
826
01:17:36,030 --> 01:17:41,030
I'm afraid I shall have to let
my press secretary answer that question.
827
01:17:41,100 --> 01:17:44,440
Stop annoying Mr. President
with impertinent questions, Junior.
828
01:17:44,500 --> 01:17:46,590
It's the race, man.
829
01:17:46,670 --> 01:17:49,630
President Frankenstein,
you can't call off the race.
830
01:17:49,710 --> 01:17:51,840
The American people won't stand for it!
831
01:17:51,910 --> 01:17:54,040
Get out of the way, Junior.
832
01:17:54,110 --> 01:17:58,700
The race is the symbol of everything
we hold dear - our American way of life.
833
01:17:58,780 --> 01:18:01,470
Sure, it's violent.
But that's the way we love it.
834
01:18:01,550 --> 01:18:05,140
Violent, violent, violent.
And that's why we love you!
835
01:18:05,220 --> 01:18:07,620
Frank, do we have to listen to this?
836
01:18:07,690 --> 01:18:08,850
No.
837
01:18:18,200 --> 01:18:20,960
As to this matter of violence.
838
01:18:21,040 --> 01:18:25,840
The technique of violence
was first developed in 2.000.000 BC
839
01:18:25,910 --> 01:18:28,010
by the Australopithecines.
840
01:18:28,080 --> 01:18:32,540
A tribe of four-foot primates
who had no brains to speak of.
841
01:18:32,620 --> 01:18:37,890
But who. Nevertheless. Invented the
tomahawk and used it on each other.
842
01:18:37,950 --> 01:18:43,620
This practice led to the enlargement
of the brain - another useful weapon.
843
01:18:43,690 --> 01:18:48,850
Yes. Murder was invented
even before man began to think.
844
01:18:48,930 --> 01:18:54,920
Now. of course. Man has become
known as the thinking animal.
73048
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